August 17, 2022 • 42 mins
Bobbi and Jenna catch up for the first time since Bobbi used to do her makeup 22 years ago and the admiration for each other has only grown. They discuss what's changed over the years including confidence, what’s important in life and motherhood.Jenna reveals how it feels to work her career into her everyday life as opposed to fitting life into her career.There is so much to take away from this episode…from healthy living to being true to yourself. You’ve heard of Chicken Soup for the Soul…well this is Foundation Tips for Life.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's been so long since I have um seen and
worked with Jenna Elfman. She reached out to me on
Instagram and I instantly like pink her back and said,
oh my god, Hi, how are you. I'm so curious
about so many things, you know, particularly like what's her
life like? I know she doesn't live in l A anymore.
(00:23):
I know she's homeschooling her kids. So here goes. I'm
very excited to talk to my friend Jenna Alfman. Hi, Hi, Okay,
wait a minute, why do you look so good? This
is like a podcast. Well, I don't know. Well, you
do look really good. Wow? Thank you? Did you do
(00:43):
it yourself? Yeah? Really? Come on? How did you get
your hair looking like that? No? My hair. I had
blow drive this morning. But I can't do if I
want you, I just I hate it because it's my hair.
I don't have to. Yeah, well you look good. How
about your makeup? Did you about yourself? Yes? I did
my own makeup. I used Jones Road Beauty. Oh yeah,
(01:08):
what do you? Thank you so much? You're welcome. I
bought some under a different alias, and then you sent
me some amazing things like incredible and it wasn't the
same I bought, so that was great. There was no
I love it so good. Thank you, thank you. Well.
You know, it's so funny because we've reconnected after all
these years on Instagram where you said something really nice
(01:31):
and I'm like, whoa wait, Hi. So first of all, Hi,
Hi Bob. So good to see you. Yeah, it's good
to see you too. Remind me because I don't remember
how long ago we worked together. I think you were
still on Darman Greg. Yeah, I think it was twenty
(01:53):
two years ago. Oh my gosh, because it was Academy
Awards after party. Oh my god, amazing memory. It's so
funny when I think back at my life back then.
I don't always remember the details, but I remember how
much I liked working with you, always how easy or
makeup was but to do because you're so naturally pretty.
(02:15):
But just how much I enjoyed working with you. Because
there are so many celebrities I don't have those find
fuzzy memories. Oh that makes me happy. Thank you, And
it's the same, you know. I think one of the
things that I that made me reach out to you
again when I saw your post was just I was
(02:37):
reminded by how sincere and genuine you are and and
how much you care you know, And it's um, it's
funny with beauty because it can, by default, it kind
of can land in you know, a very sort of
self centered or sort of frivolous, you know whatever. It
(03:01):
can go there, especially with celebrities or whatever, and your
whole point of view especially I mean not for me
to evaluate and tell you what your your point of
view is, but what I received from your communication was
just it was so much leaning into the beauty of
(03:23):
being a woman, like the value in the world that
a woman brings, and aligning that natural value, aligning the
products and the application thereof and the whole concept around
it to enhancing the natural beauty of just being a woman.
(03:44):
And and I just love that so much. And whenever
you communicate on your social media, it's always encouraging women
to find like there's something special for every single individual.
Every person has their own magic. And I just feel
like you leave into that and your products support finding
that for yourself and and anyway, I just was like, ah,
(04:08):
I love that so much, especially you know, aging and
and everything. And it's funny too. I don't mean to
be on a rant, but like with with aging two.
To me, it's it's like improvement. Aging to me is
an upward spiral, not a downward one, because I have
(04:28):
so much knowledge and experience, and I have my own
point of view and I know it's my own now,
and it's just everything you said and I felt it
felt so where my head and heart is at, you know,
And I just wanted to acknowledge that when I reached
out to you well, as someone that always interrupts people,
I made sure I didn't because what you were saying
(04:48):
like means so much to me. And just ironically, my
head of marketing, who is my son, has been saying, Mom,
we can't put in words what you do and what
you think and and so we're looking for a rand
marketing person. But we just recorded everything you said. So
I'm going to like play it for my son because
it was it was said exactly the way I feel
(05:09):
and think. And aging, first of all, like is such
a positive. And I'm so much older than you are,
which I never realized. I mean, I turned sixty five
this year, so you know, how how do you I'm
I'm fifty now, I'll be fifty one in September. Okay,
you know and like it's crazy. Fifty sounds so young
to me. You know, it's crazy. You know it's crazy.
(05:33):
And you've got two little boys. I do, but one
just turned fifteen this wu and your son you work
with your son. My heart just like totally skipped a
beat because the idea, the idea of like, it must
be amazing, Bobby. You put all this time raising your
kid and now they're working for you and you get
(05:53):
to see all of the values and knowledge that you
know landed, what didn't land or whatever. But to be
working together, I was like, oh my god, it feels
like a dream come true to me. Yeah, dream or
you know, not the easiest thing in the world. You know,
you were who worked towards everything. Not only is my
son who he's my my head of marketing, his wife,
(06:15):
who's expecting my first grandchild, is the head of social
So you know, it's a very interesting thing. But you
know my yeah, I had little kids when I worked
with you, and now they're thirty, two, thirty, and I
did have a third of twenty now he's twenty four,
and so you're in the fun stuff. Does it feel fun?
(06:37):
It is fun. I was just before we before I
got up to put my makeup on. I was having
an afternoon snuggle with my boys in bed, and I
feel so lucky that they're twelve and fifteen and they
I was like, okay, guys, I have to get up now,
and they were like wrapping their arms around me, going no, Mama,
more snuggle And we were just laying there watching the
(07:00):
Office and laughing and stuggling, and it's I am in
the fun zone, it is, but they're you know, preparing
them for life. Especially my fifteen year old. He's very
like looking towards the job and driving and apprenticeships, and
it's it's very I feel like all of the oil
(07:23):
of motherhood leading up to this moment is now like
going to manifest, and is the opportunity to point out
all those things in the real world, Like really that
I've been talking to him about. He has kind of
something to compare it to. Now, you know it's not
just mom lecture lessons. Well, do you know that whenever
(07:44):
he's rude or mean or whatever the moments are, it's
because he's preparing to like be independent from you. I
had to read a book the first time because I
was like devastated, and it's really it's true, and they
all come back you know, so is so plus thanks.
I know, I know, but you know, you burn and
(08:05):
melt and sweat and worry and cry and hope, and
no one thanks you till maybe they're in their twenties
and they get out in the world and then they
see maybe that not everyone is has values the way
they do, where has manners the way they might, and
then they call you hopefully and go, oh wow, I
get it now, thank you. I have some perspective. I
(08:27):
called my mom because I was like, mom, my work
ethic and people at the at the job really really
appreciate um all the things that I do and you
taught you and dad taught me all of that, and
they really see that not everybody has that. I just thought,
I don't know, and thank you. I get why you
were strict. I get why you didn't let me party.
(08:49):
You know, I get the curfew time. I understand, like,
I get it, and I just was like, oh my god,
thank you. You know, I grew up here in l A.
Here I'm in Austin. I grew up in l A.
Are you a movie kid, like, were your parents in
the industry? No, my dad worked for Huge Aircraft, and
(09:11):
my mom was full time mom and would sometimes work
part time jobs at the ballet studio, you know, where
I was studying because I was trained to be a
professional dancer, and I was a professional dancer. So my
whole upbringing, every day after school, six days a week,
was not at the mall or anywhere else, but it
was in the ballet studio training. And was Darmin Gregg
(09:34):
your first big like breakthrough star moment. Yeah, I had
just done one uh series right before that. That was
my first series regular and before that was you know,
just auditions and guest star roles and um for six
months before that. So and I had just gotten an agent,
(09:56):
you know, UM, so that I did that one series
called Town Knees and I got noticed from that, and
twenty century Fox gave me a development deal based on
my work on that and then gave me a list
of writers that they had deals with and said, pick
whoever you want to create a show for you amazing um.
And so yeah, I had met with one set of
(10:16):
writers and they were like, oh, we're really interested, but
we're already developing something. We have to wait till next year.
And I just I could tell I felt I knew
I had momentum, and I didn't want to lose the momentum.
So I was like the next on the list, you know.
And so um, that's how German Grand came about. And
how many years were you on the air? That ran
for five years, but it was you know, every every
(10:39):
season was twenty two to twenty four episodes, so they
were big long nineties sitcom seasons, you know. And has
your kids saying that the series, yeah, barely, They like
really don't have any interest in watching me on television
because I'm with them all the time. They're like, why
am I watching you? You're sitting right here my mom, Like,
(11:00):
I don't know, I know, you're yeah, you're funny. We
have fun Like I don't need to watch you do something.
So every time I watch Fear the Walking Dead, you know,
they're into the Walking Dead universe and they like that
I'm in that. So they'll watch my episodes of Fear
the Walking Dead. Well, it drives me crazy that the
kids in my office, you know, if they haven't seen
it on Nick you know Nickelodeon, Like I had Harry
(11:21):
Connack Jr's kid in the office. I'm like that her
father's Harry Connick Junior. They looked at me like who,
I'm like, do you not know who Harry Conna Jr?
Like you you know, how do you not know who
Blondie is? Like? Guys? So you know? But uh yeah,
So what do you miss the most about that period?
And what is the most fun thing that you are
(11:42):
doing right now? Um? I think I don't know. You know,
there's no social media when I was doing Darmind greg um,
and there was a focus to the work and to
the experience of being on set. The structure of doing
press was very different, you know. The it was just
(12:07):
you had you know, you had more viewers because there
were less networks. There was no streaming, there was you know,
so we were doing like twenty two million viewers every
week like that was regular. And I think I just
I think I missed the power of the focused audience,
you know. Um there was just something to that. Uh.
(12:30):
And it meant something if you were succeeding on a show,
it really meant something and it and it meant something
to your own contribution as an artist and everything like that. Um,
what I love doing now that was the opportunity, the
fact that I've had a long career and in my
late forties, getting Fear the Walking Dead and having the
(12:51):
opportunity to totally reinvent myself, to lean into human storytelling
from my point of view as a woman now and um,
and my character is incredible. What they write for me
to do is like such a blessing. So I'm really
enjoying the fact that I feel like I'm starting brand
new and everything feels new and challenged in the most
(13:15):
incredible way. And and and it's a fandom and it's
like a whole other experience and I really love that.
But the fun part is that when I meet the
fans from the Walking Dead universe, they're like, I loved
you and Darman Gregg so they have this Dharma and
Greg love too. And they've accepted me into this you know,
(13:36):
apocalyp post apocalyptic drama. And it's just that's been really
cool and I feel so grateful. So who do you
What do you hear most like from which place to
people know? You know? Um, well, probably I get a
lot of June from Fear the Walking Dead, but now
it's a blend. They're like, oh, June, but I've always
loved you since Starma, you know, um but you know
(13:58):
Fear the Walking deads. I think Aims is one of
their biggest international shows. Um so and Darmond Gregg was
in every country. So that's just been a really nice
um blend of bringing audiences together that that's been really
really great and I it means so much to me
(14:19):
when because with Fear the Walking Dead, it's so character
driven and your characters go through so much, and the
the fans really really lean in with their heart and
soul into your character's journey and they feel the emotions
you feel, they're right there with you. And so when
you see people on the street and they and I
(14:40):
love my character and I am so committed to my character,
and I'm really into the Walking Dead universe and I
love all of it. And so when they got June,
I love, I love how you played that thing or
that moment or oh my god, my heart broke for you,
like they're invested, and I just find that so special
and cool. And you, I mean, you want a Golden
Globe and Emmy to Emmy nominations. So do you go
(15:07):
to the award shows now? Have because this is all
for Darman Gregg? Right, Yeah, that was for Dharmin Greg.
I haven't been only because I started having my kids,
and I really I find when I'm at work, as
you know, as any working mother knows, when you're away
(15:28):
from them, you feel you should be with them, and
when you're with them, at after a certain point, you
start longing for. It's raising children's very creative, but you
long for also your own personal creative outlet. And so
I just when I started having my kids, I didn't
go to events unless it was directly connected to something
(15:51):
I was doing, because I knew that when I am working,
it's so hard being away from them. So when i'm not,
I'm really with them. And even when I am working,
I'm very much with them. They usually bring them with me.
It's easier when they were a little younger, you know,
you can just tote them around and stuff, but now
they've got their lives and their friends, so I really
(16:12):
take time off when I'm not working, I really am
with them. Well, it's so funny because I was just
wondering because I'm sure when you are going to the
award shows and you were younger, I mean, there was
an excitement, but there also must have been an angst
(16:34):
about what do I look like? Do I look good enough?
I don't know. You all worry about different things, like
what did you worry about? And do you think you
would still worry about the same things now? A hundred
percent would not worry about the same things now, not
even close zero. No, what I did worry about though?
I had that and i've you know, had time to
(16:57):
look back on all of that now, And it's funny,
it's almost childlike your anxieties when you go to event
press events because you're you know, when you're a kid
in school, you don't want to get in well, if
you're a good kid, you don't want to like get
in trouble, and you want to please people, and you
want to be accepted and you don't and you want
(17:19):
to be admired and all of these like panicky, weird
like why you know? And once you crossed the threshold
for me anyway of like my late forties into fifties,
I so understand the value of my own integrity based
(17:40):
off of what I observed in my life and my
own knowledge and knowing what I know has so much
value to me and nobody can take it away or
touch it, and it's gold and that to me, when
I'm now on a red carpet or doing press, I
am so in the pocket of my own experiential knowledge
(18:00):
that I don't care what anyone thinks, you know, I'm
not there to please anybody. Um there experience. Yeah, and
are you dressed differently? Did you try to fit something?
And now you just know what you are and what works? Yeah.
I wanted to like be you know, sort of I
want people to dig me, you know, And now like
(18:22):
I totally don't care if they do. And I dress
for what sparks joy and what I love or what
just feels fun, just because it brightens my spirit, and
that has so much value. I think you really start
seeing what, what does, what's valuable, what is important? Like
what actually is gold and what's fool's gold, you know,
(18:45):
and getting approval from others as fool's gold. It's it
has it does the next day, they're not there with you,
nothing nothing they they're not there with you in the
hard times. Impressing them has no long term meaningful value
you because they're not there when life gets hard, and
when life gets hard, you're there with your own abilities
(19:06):
and your true friendships. And like, to me, that's the gold. Well,
it's funny because the invitations fly in, you know, after
COVID they fly in, and it's like, do I have
to go get an outfit where I'm going to be
uncomfortable and get my hair done, in my makeup and
worry about it, or can I just go to my
friend's house for dinner, you know, with wet hair and
a ponytail. And it's like not even I don't think
(19:28):
twice about it. Where I used to like, oh my god,
I should really be there. There's gonna be all these
great people, and now I'm like I don't want to
do it. You know. It's like to get me somewhere,
it has to be like a value add for me personally.
It's like I want to be with other women who
are helping other women who are powerful and who are
smart and not just you know, wearing a flower dress
and twirling. So totally yeah, yes, yes, I feel like
(19:53):
if there's you know, very interested in people, like I
just think people are very interesting and um, you know,
if it's an event where I feel like I'm gonna
learn something or I'm going to have a great conversation,
even if it's like a superficial fluff event. But if
there's someone I know that's going to be there that
(20:14):
I can like have a really great conversation with and
like have a takeaway, especially like a great woman who
I admire or something that I wouldn't have the opportunity
to have that experience otherwise, then I'm like, yeah, maybe
you know, like you said, where you can have a
great conversation, there's a takeaway. It's it's it's an enhancement
(20:37):
or can I you know, am I going to be
speaking where I can maybe enhance someone else or inspire
somebody to make the world better because I don't need
the like green check mark of who wore it best?
Like I. It's like, yeah, you also have a change
ability to parent or joy and you also have this
long term relationship marriage with your husband. Um and it's
(21:01):
his real name Body, Yeah, born and raised Body. He
had a very hippy mother, yea from like was he
from like Colorado or something or a heart of Hollywood
like sunset and conga. Wow? Okay, And and what are
the you know, what are what are the challenges trying
to like figure out, you know, how to make him
(21:22):
happy and your kids happy and your career and forget
about the fourth thing, which is you Like, I'm only
asking because I understand it, but what are the challenges
for you? Yeah? Uh, you know. A long time ago,
I happen to read this article, this interview with Madonna
and a fashion magazine, and it was long before I
had kids, but she had kids and they were young
(21:44):
at the time of this article, and I just this
lodged in my mind. She she was just because she
was asked the same question, like, how do you do
it all? How are you Madonna and a mother? You know?
And she said time management, and that just like stuck
in my head. And I really really have become a
(22:04):
big fan and user of time management. Uh. It's amazing
what you can get done in a day if you're
organized enough. Sometimes I had a protest about being too
organized because it just felt unfun to me. And I'm
much more fly by the seat of my pants if I, like,
if I didn't have other people who like needed me
to fulfill certain needs, I would just float through my
(22:27):
days enjoying the spontaneity of life. That's my happy life.
But there's too many things that need to be in harmony.
So it's really It's taken me a long time to
find my my best working practice for being organized, and
it sounds really technical, but I'm going to share it
here because I never know if there's another one. It
(22:48):
took me forever to find a work system for me,
and I finally found one. It's very administrative, though, but
I finally figured out because I'd have like too many
to do list because I wear so many hats, and
I thought we'll have a to do list for each hat,
and then it's like, well, that's way too many pads
of paper. And so what I ended up doing is
I made a preprinted daily form that has all my
(23:12):
hats on it, all my areas of demand, which you know, um,
from homeschooling my kids and their needs of doctor appointments
and whatever, to my own podcast, to working on my
own script, to my own doctor appointments, to exercise, et cetera, nutrition,
(23:33):
And I have one big old to do list, and
every day I pulled from the big to do list,
and I have on those things, I have little time
slots of when what time am I going to do
this today? And I planned my days with this pre
printed form with all of my things on it is
because that's the only way I was getting it done. Yeah,
but how can we access this form? Like where could
(23:55):
you make this form? I have it on my UM
I had and I printed out and it's my daily form,
so mad itself. Yeah, just using pages app on my Wow,
Well that is that is definitely something that you know,
being an entrepreneur. I'm like, okay, we could, we could
brand that, Jenna, we could definitely. Yeah. Yeah. But as
(24:18):
I'm listening to all of this and I've you know,
got my own things. What the person that made the
biggest difference in me being a mom and trying to
figure it all out and trying to be missed is perfect.
I was on some panel with Tina Brown and someone
asked her the question, how did you do it all
while you were doing Vanity Fair and this and that?
And she said, do you want to know? And everyone
leaned in. She said it was a mess. The whole
(24:41):
thing was a mess. It was a ship show, it
was And we just all sat there with their mouth
open because everyone always seemed like they had it all
together and we didn't. And yeah, Bobby, tell people the truth.
Some days we're good, some days were not good. So
it's Oh yeah. Then some days that whole thing goes
out the window because is one kid's got a headache
(25:01):
and wants me to lay in bed with him and
rub his temples. And I'm just like sitting there and
you know, in inside, I'm like so happy because nothing
makes me happier than just hanging out with my kids
and like snuggling with them. And I'm so happy to
throw the to do list out the window and set
it on fire. Like you know, I only have that
to do list. It does not bring me joy. It
(25:22):
does not something I look forward to. It does not
turn me on or light my fire. I hate being
that organized. I hate it so much, but it's a
necessity because too many things will fall by the wayside,
and how many it is. But how do you homeschool
the kids while you're like a TV movie star, like
explain that to me. Yeah, my brain feels like it's
(25:45):
bleeding sometimes, and uh, you know, hence the list, because
I don't know how to do the workouts, focus on
my what I'm eating, do my other podcast, prep the show,
home school let alone, you know, dentist appointments and little
um so I have checklist for the kids with all
(26:08):
their subjects and I write out what they're doing that day. Uh,
and then I go off to work and my assistant
has been getting them through and then yeah, no I'm
not working, I'm doing it. You know. If if I'm filming,
she's doing it. My favorite part of the day was
drop off. Yeah, let in the car, guys, come on,
(26:32):
we gotta go all right. Yes, there is a bit
of like it rolls off you when you get to
put somebody else in charge for a few hours. So
I know, so okay, there's so many like aspects of you.
I want to hear about your podcast and you do
that with your husband. Yeah. So we've been together thirty
thirty one years something like that, and people always ask
(26:54):
us how do you do it? Especially in Hollywood, you know,
and we just go kicking and screaming because that is
how we get through it pretty much. Um, we're best friends.
But we just decided we had always wanted to do
a scripted comedy about marriage because we feel like marriage
is either represented in television and like ha ha ha
cute sitcom or like marriage is the worst thing on
(27:16):
earth single camera drama, and there's never been a show
that like captures all of it, because relationships are all
of it. It's all of it, as you know. And
I had always just been on shows, and so we
start a podcast to just start talking about the area
and create material for writers for if we ultimately do
(27:36):
a show, and it kind of got its own legs
and people love it and we're just it's a humorous take.
We talk about our own issues. We talked just about
the politics of marriage, the double standards in a very conversational,
humorous way, much like you and I are doing here.
And is it where do we see it? Is it
on What's Your Who's Who's? Yeah? I have it on
(27:57):
my YouTube channel, the Jenna Elfman YouTube channel because we
film it um. But you know, people can also listen
wherever they listen to their podcasts, and it's called kicking
and screaming. All right, I will and I will absolutely
maybe my husband I will listen to it on the
three hour drive back and forth from New Jersey, you know, yes, yes, yeah.
And then the other I would really love to deep
(28:18):
dive in is how do you take care of yourself? What?
What is your nutrition, what's your exercise? What have you
tried that didn't work? And what has made a difference. Yeah,
I feel. You know, it's funny if you work on
anything long enough, the things that don't work kind of
start fall by the wayside, and there's those constants that
always stay working. Um hydration is a mega one for me.
(28:39):
You know, I don't drink. Maybe a couple of times
a year. I have some wine, but I really don't drink.
I notice it ages me so fast when I drink um.
I know wine has got the antioxidants and whatever, but
it im when I mean, it just ages my skin
so fast, Like in a week, My skin changes if
(29:00):
I have wine a couple of times a week. It's crazy.
What do you do, like when you just need like
a break? Are you? Are you? I go for you know, no,
I don't. I don't smoke cigarettes or weed. I did
that when as a teenager, and I put smoking years
ago for vanity reasons, because I started seeing the wrinkles
around the mouth that you can't get rid of. So
(29:21):
I stopped. I go for a walk and I look
outwards and I get extroverted. Um, because you know, when
you start getting stressed, you're super introverted. And so I
find a good walk of looking outwards, not looking down
at the ground, looking at my thoughts, but really genuinely
looking at the world around me really helps bring my
(29:43):
mood up if I get overstressed. Um. I also throughout
the day, I found what really works for me is
I take little ten minute breaks and I go away
from everyone. I'll sit on the front porch or go
sit out on the deck or wherever. If I'm at work,
I just go away from people and I just walk
or I said, I'll just scroll through my Instagram or
(30:04):
do nothing, stare at a treat and I just shut off.
I shut off all of my mental stress and I
just I totally let myself just be in that moment um,
and it keeps me really calibrated. I found I take
these little ten minute breaks throughout the day mental Where
(30:25):
did you learn this? Just? I craved it. I just
found it worked for me. I just would find this
need to to seclude, do you know, to go away
from stimulus? Because I found, really with social media and smartphones,
how much I think it's very insidious. What can happen
(30:47):
to your bandwidth, your own you're scrolling from, whether it's
news which I won't even look at anymore, um, Instagram, face, whatever,
these things are that people look at on their phone,
your mom, you're it's like re nine passion magazines today
and newspapers and like all day long. It's weird if
you think about what we're putting our attention on all
the time. It's very dispersing because you'll look at something
(31:10):
and then you close your phone, you walk away, and
all those mental pictures are just stuck to your mind,
you know, And so then you you're literally diluting your
bandwidth and your reasoning power and your self calming power
because half of it is spread out over these mental
experiences you just had scrolling on your phone. But we
don't realize it. It's really really insidious. So I I
(31:35):
really spend a lot less time on my phone. Um
because when you were saying, you know earlier, what do
you miss? And I was talking about there's no social media.
Back when I was doing GREG and like you know,
the schedule, just living life, there was more of me
totally present at any given time in any conversation. Working
(31:58):
on my script was much more folks, This I wasn't
constantly and then you know, read a few pages, then
scrolling on my phone and read a few pages. There's
a power to me of just doing what you are
doing while you are doing it and not diluting it constantly.
And it's like breaking up a pie into too many
(32:18):
pieces that it falls apart. Right. So I think of
myself and my own management of my mental attention kind
of like a pie, and if you cut it in
too many parts, it's just it's not viable. Like my
my reasoning power, my solution thought process becomes less viable
and potent when it's dispersed. So, uh, that's that's something
(32:43):
I do and I that's one of the things that
really works for me. How about the way you eat
and nutrition? Because you say you put that on your list,
So what is for you? Um, I'm not a Yeah,
(33:08):
I don't know what it is. If it's just getting older,
if it's logic, if it's motherhood. I can't like restrict
myself so much. I don't know it's a pandemic. But
I I'm not big for I can't starve myself. I
can't do like minimal calories. I'm just like no, I
like food. I like eating. I enjoy delicious things. It's
(33:31):
one of the moments of joy throughout my days. Delicious
food it's happiness. What have you eaten today? What have
you eaten today? I had um some oatmeal at breakfast,
and then for lunch, I had a huge bowl of
steamed uh um cauliflower and boiled potatoes with olive oil
(33:53):
and salt and pepper. And I have my protein shakes,
and I like beans and rice and soups and sometimes meat,
but not very often. I love tofu shakes and stir fries,
and I you know, I'll have a bowl of pasta
every now and then. I don't do lots of breads um,
but I do. If my kids eating a sour dough
(34:14):
toast and it looks amazing, I'm gonna have my sour
dough toast. But I try to eat whole grains rather
than processed foods. But then I also eat my chips
if I'm at a baseball Yeah, I think. I think
now it's called intuitive eating. Yeah, I mean, you know,
I don't over focus. There's just some common sense to it,
you know. I think if you're eating a lot of
(34:35):
like crap food, I mean, you know, just have your
vegetables and just be have some common sense with what
about ex um? I do treadmill and weight lifting, and uh,
I have a row machine, so I do circuit training.
I swim and tread water. That one I find is incredible.
(34:58):
Luckily I have a pool so I can just hop
in and do that. But treading water has been unbelievably
toning for me. UM. I don't enjoy jogging very much.
I don't like the high impact, but I can walk
for hours and my body loves it. Um. And and
you know sit ups and the road like I said,
(35:19):
the row machine and lifting weights and you know a
lot of that, like sort of cross fit. I suppose
I really love pilates, but I don't find it very
convenient to go out to a pilates place and do
my lessons at this point in my life with filming
and homeschooling and commuting and um. But pilates, especially with
my ballet upbringing one pilates lesson changes my body. It's crazy,
(35:44):
but I noticed not much. My body doesn't change as
fast as it used to. Like I had a stomach
bug recently. I think I may be consumed five hundred
calories in three days. Like I could I couldn't eat.
I had a fever like I don't know what it was,
and I lost no weight. Wow, it was a bummer,
you know, because usually that's the perk if you have
to go through that kind of hell, at least you
(36:05):
come out a couple of pounds lighter. And I got
nothing out of it. It's like the metabolism totally changes
at my age. It's it's I don't know how it
is for you, but something ever, but you've never had
a weight issue though, you've always been one of them. No,
but like, yeah, I'm twenty pounds more than I normally
am right now, No way, that's not even Well then
(36:25):
maybe you were under but I, you know, gained probably
about twelve to fifteen pounds during the pandemic and I
have since lost it. So I have no choice but
to just eat less healthy and healthy and good. But
I have to. It's just it's it's honestly, there's no
secret to weight loss. You just have to eat less
than you are consuming. That's the you know. Unfortunately, that's
(36:48):
it's a math problem. So it is just it really
is and moving and you know, the body must move.
It's not meant to sit around the body is You're
rigged and created for motion. Yeah, and then just because
I'm always very curious, like to have any favorite brands
of jeans or T shirts, like like anything that you're like,
(37:12):
oh my god, these are the best cotton underwear, the
best cotton anything, like what do you what? What do
you got? Yeah? Well, you know, I okay, so well
I always were haiky panky and these because I just
love them and they're super comfortable. Um, I've really gotten
into Banana Republic. This jacket is Banana Republic and it's
I'm sorry, I just have to show you really fast.
(37:33):
I know it's an audio podcast. How great is this?
And they have like linen shirts that are just bitching
for the hot humidity here in Austin. Um. Uh, I
do a gold eagle e egle jeans. They always fit
me great. Um, I have many a pair. Um. Then
(37:58):
I switched between a couple of side is, depending on
if I want a tighter fit or a boyfriend fit.
Um and uh I wear notry T shirt bros. All
Like that's all I just missed on a loop. That's
what I get. Um, And I think that's I'm a
jeans and T shirt kind of a girl, or sweaters
(38:20):
and bags and boots in the fall and winter. I
love just great jackets and coats and um boots, you know,
but you're like, you're in Austin. When are you gonna
wear them? Like, isn't it hot? Well, it does get wintry.
We had that snow apocalypse here. Um it did get
like six below with tons of snow for a week.
It was crazy. That was an anomaly. But it does
(38:42):
get cold in the winter here for a couple of months.
But man, it is I do the kind of the
only thing I miss about l A is the weather,
the dry, beautiful sunshine. I'm going through this week and
I'm really for my husband's birthday. We're just gonna go
spend some time together. I don't think we've been away.
We've been away once for a few days without the
(39:04):
kids in fifteen years. Oh my god, that's crazy. Other
than that a night, we've gone away for a night,
but that's it. So we're going away for like five
days for his birthday, just to go to Dodger games
and see our friends. And um, I'm gonna go visit
my mom and I'm really looking forward to that. You know,
I think I don't let myself be away from my
(39:27):
kids much because I don't you know, you always here's
the thing for me as a mother, as I always
hear women say, it's just crazy how fast it goes,
and then one day you're like, where did it all go?
How did it happen? Where was I? How did they
grow up so fast? And they feel like they weren't
there for it? But you work so hard as a
(39:49):
mother that I don't want to have that, like that's
my pay for working so hard is where did it go?
I don't even know what happened. No, I want to
remember everything that happened, and I'm gonna be there for it.
So I don't really go away from my kids very
much except for when I'm filming. Well, so I think
this will be nice week. Well, you've given so many
(40:10):
nuggets of advice to people listening, and I've written I've
written many notes in my head. But I want to
ask one last question for you that for the people listening,
if you could tell them right now what they could
do that's going to change something in their life according
to you, what would it be? Um? I think it
is too. It's an it's more of a daily discipline
(40:34):
because I don't think there's a magic anything for anything.
I think it's a discipline, which is to really be
conscious about staying true to your own integrity, and the
integrity is knowing what you yourself are observing at any
given time and permitting yourself to know that that is
(40:58):
what you are observing and to stage to it no
matter what. And daily exercise. But I think we don't
think we have the rights to our own minds and
our own souls and our own hearts the way we
actually do. And to take back that ownership over what
you observe to be true for yourself as a daily exercise,
(41:21):
I think is one of the most healthy and beneficial
exercises to do. Well. Thank you so much, and um,
it was really really, really really fun to connect with you.
And I hope one day to go back to our
past and do your makeup somewhere sometimes so I would
love that so much. I would love in a new
(41:42):
a new moment to address my face um as it
is now. That would be really cool, all right, well,
because keep being happy, all right, but I will. Thanks
for listening. Follow us on social the Important Things podcast
(42:02):
on Instagram and just Bobby Brown on TikTok. See you
guys next time.
It's been so long since I have um seen and
worked with Jenna Elfman. She reached out to me on
Instagram and I instantly like pink her back and said,
oh my god, Hi, how are you. I'm so curious
about so many things, you know, particularly like what's her
life like? I know she doesn't live in l A anymore.
(00:23):
I know she's homeschooling her kids. So here goes. I'm
very excited to talk to my friend Jenna Alfman. Hi, Hi, Okay,
wait a minute, why do you look so good? This
is like a podcast. Well, I don't know. Well, you
do look really good. Wow? Thank you? Did you do
(00:43):
it yourself? Yeah? Really? Come on? How did you get
your hair looking like that? No? My hair. I had
blow drive this morning. But I can't do if I
want you, I just I hate it because it's my hair.
I don't have to. Yeah, well you look good. How
about your makeup? Did you about yourself? Yes? I did
my own makeup. I used Jones Road Beauty. Oh yeah,
(01:08):
what do you? Thank you so much? You're welcome. I
bought some under a different alias, and then you sent
me some amazing things like incredible and it wasn't the
same I bought, so that was great. There was no
I love it so good. Thank you, thank you. Well.
You know, it's so funny because we've reconnected after all
these years on Instagram where you said something really nice
(01:31):
and I'm like, whoa wait, Hi. So first of all, Hi,
Hi Bob. So good to see you. Yeah, it's good
to see you too. Remind me because I don't remember
how long ago we worked together. I think you were
still on Darman Greg. Yeah, I think it was twenty
(01:53):
two years ago. Oh my gosh, because it was Academy
Awards after party. Oh my god, amazing memory. It's so
funny when I think back at my life back then.
I don't always remember the details, but I remember how
much I liked working with you, always how easy or
makeup was but to do because you're so naturally pretty.
(02:15):
But just how much I enjoyed working with you. Because
there are so many celebrities I don't have those find
fuzzy memories. Oh that makes me happy. Thank you, And
it's the same, you know. I think one of the
things that I that made me reach out to you
again when I saw your post was just I was
(02:37):
reminded by how sincere and genuine you are and and
how much you care you know, And it's um, it's
funny with beauty because it can, by default, it kind
of can land in you know, a very sort of
self centered or sort of frivolous, you know whatever. It
(03:01):
can go there, especially with celebrities or whatever, and your
whole point of view especially I mean not for me
to evaluate and tell you what your your point of
view is, but what I received from your communication was
just it was so much leaning into the beauty of
(03:23):
being a woman, like the value in the world that
a woman brings, and aligning that natural value, aligning the
products and the application thereof and the whole concept around
it to enhancing the natural beauty of just being a woman.
(03:44):
And and I just love that so much. And whenever
you communicate on your social media, it's always encouraging women
to find like there's something special for every single individual.
Every person has their own magic. And I just feel
like you leave into that and your products support finding
that for yourself and and anyway, I just was like, ah,
(04:08):
I love that so much, especially you know, aging and
and everything. And it's funny too. I don't mean to
be on a rant, but like with with aging two.
To me, it's it's like improvement. Aging to me is
an upward spiral, not a downward one, because I have
(04:28):
so much knowledge and experience, and I have my own
point of view and I know it's my own now,
and it's just everything you said and I felt it
felt so where my head and heart is at, you know,
And I just wanted to acknowledge that when I reached
out to you well, as someone that always interrupts people,
I made sure I didn't because what you were saying
(04:48):
like means so much to me. And just ironically, my
head of marketing, who is my son, has been saying, Mom,
we can't put in words what you do and what
you think and and so we're looking for a rand
marketing person. But we just recorded everything you said. So
I'm going to like play it for my son because
it was it was said exactly the way I feel
(05:09):
and think. And aging, first of all, like is such
a positive. And I'm so much older than you are,
which I never realized. I mean, I turned sixty five
this year, so you know, how how do you I'm
I'm fifty now, I'll be fifty one in September. Okay,
you know and like it's crazy. Fifty sounds so young
to me. You know, it's crazy. You know it's crazy.
(05:33):
And you've got two little boys. I do, but one
just turned fifteen this wu and your son you work
with your son. My heart just like totally skipped a
beat because the idea, the idea of like, it must
be amazing, Bobby. You put all this time raising your
kid and now they're working for you and you get
(05:53):
to see all of the values and knowledge that you
know landed, what didn't land or whatever. But to be
working together, I was like, oh my god, it feels
like a dream come true to me. Yeah, dream or
you know, not the easiest thing in the world. You know,
you were who worked towards everything. Not only is my
son who he's my my head of marketing, his wife,
(06:15):
who's expecting my first grandchild, is the head of social
So you know, it's a very interesting thing. But you
know my yeah, I had little kids when I worked
with you, and now they're thirty, two, thirty, and I
did have a third of twenty now he's twenty four,
and so you're in the fun stuff. Does it feel fun?
(06:37):
It is fun. I was just before we before I
got up to put my makeup on. I was having
an afternoon snuggle with my boys in bed, and I
feel so lucky that they're twelve and fifteen and they
I was like, okay, guys, I have to get up now,
and they were like wrapping their arms around me, going no, Mama,
more snuggle And we were just laying there watching the
(07:00):
Office and laughing and stuggling, and it's I am in
the fun zone, it is, but they're you know, preparing
them for life. Especially my fifteen year old. He's very
like looking towards the job and driving and apprenticeships, and
it's it's very I feel like all of the oil
(07:23):
of motherhood leading up to this moment is now like
going to manifest, and is the opportunity to point out
all those things in the real world, Like really that
I've been talking to him about. He has kind of
something to compare it to. Now, you know it's not
just mom lecture lessons. Well, do you know that whenever
(07:44):
he's rude or mean or whatever the moments are, it's
because he's preparing to like be independent from you. I
had to read a book the first time because I
was like devastated, and it's really it's true, and they
all come back you know, so is so plus thanks.
I know, I know, but you know, you burn and
(08:05):
melt and sweat and worry and cry and hope, and
no one thanks you till maybe they're in their twenties
and they get out in the world and then they
see maybe that not everyone is has values the way
they do, where has manners the way they might, and
then they call you hopefully and go, oh wow, I
get it now, thank you. I have some perspective. I
(08:27):
called my mom because I was like, mom, my work
ethic and people at the at the job really really
appreciate um all the things that I do and you
taught you and dad taught me all of that, and
they really see that not everybody has that. I just thought,
I don't know, and thank you. I get why you
were strict. I get why you didn't let me party.
(08:49):
You know, I get the curfew time. I understand, like,
I get it, and I just was like, oh my god,
thank you. You know, I grew up here in l A.
Here I'm in Austin. I grew up in l A.
Are you a movie kid, like, were your parents in
the industry? No, my dad worked for Huge Aircraft, and
(09:11):
my mom was full time mom and would sometimes work
part time jobs at the ballet studio, you know, where
I was studying because I was trained to be a
professional dancer, and I was a professional dancer. So my
whole upbringing, every day after school, six days a week,
was not at the mall or anywhere else, but it
was in the ballet studio training. And was Darmin Gregg
(09:34):
your first big like breakthrough star moment. Yeah, I had
just done one uh series right before that. That was
my first series regular and before that was you know,
just auditions and guest star roles and um for six
months before that. So and I had just gotten an agent,
(09:56):
you know, UM, so that I did that one series
called Town Knees and I got noticed from that, and
twenty century Fox gave me a development deal based on
my work on that and then gave me a list
of writers that they had deals with and said, pick
whoever you want to create a show for you amazing um.
And so yeah, I had met with one set of
(10:16):
writers and they were like, oh, we're really interested, but
we're already developing something. We have to wait till next year.
And I just I could tell I felt I knew
I had momentum, and I didn't want to lose the momentum.
So I was like the next on the list, you know.
And so um, that's how German Grand came about. And
how many years were you on the air? That ran
for five years, but it was you know, every every
(10:39):
season was twenty two to twenty four episodes, so they
were big long nineties sitcom seasons, you know. And has
your kids saying that the series, yeah, barely, They like
really don't have any interest in watching me on television
because I'm with them all the time. They're like, why
am I watching you? You're sitting right here my mom, Like,
(11:00):
I don't know, I know, you're yeah, you're funny. We
have fun Like I don't need to watch you do something.
So every time I watch Fear the Walking Dead, you know,
they're into the Walking Dead universe and they like that
I'm in that. So they'll watch my episodes of Fear
the Walking Dead. Well, it drives me crazy that the
kids in my office, you know, if they haven't seen
it on Nick you know Nickelodeon, Like I had Harry
(11:21):
Connack Jr's kid in the office. I'm like that her
father's Harry Connick Junior. They looked at me like who,
I'm like, do you not know who Harry Conna Jr?
Like you you know, how do you not know who
Blondie is? Like? Guys? So you know? But uh yeah,
So what do you miss the most about that period?
And what is the most fun thing that you are
(11:42):
doing right now? Um? I think I don't know. You know,
there's no social media when I was doing Darmind greg um,
and there was a focus to the work and to
the experience of being on set. The structure of doing
press was very different, you know. The it was just
(12:07):
you had you know, you had more viewers because there
were less networks. There was no streaming, there was you know,
so we were doing like twenty two million viewers every
week like that was regular. And I think I just
I think I missed the power of the focused audience,
you know. Um there was just something to that. Uh.
(12:30):
And it meant something if you were succeeding on a show,
it really meant something and it and it meant something
to your own contribution as an artist and everything like that. Um,
what I love doing now that was the opportunity, the
fact that I've had a long career and in my
late forties, getting Fear the Walking Dead and having the
(12:51):
opportunity to totally reinvent myself, to lean into human storytelling
from my point of view as a woman now and um,
and my character is incredible. What they write for me
to do is like such a blessing. So I'm really
enjoying the fact that I feel like I'm starting brand
new and everything feels new and challenged in the most
(13:15):
incredible way. And and and it's a fandom and it's
like a whole other experience and I really love that.
But the fun part is that when I meet the
fans from the Walking Dead universe, they're like, I loved
you and Darman Gregg so they have this Dharma and
Greg love too. And they've accepted me into this you know,
(13:36):
apocalyp post apocalyptic drama. And it's just that's been really
cool and I feel so grateful. So who do you
What do you hear most like from which place to
people know? You know? Um, well, probably I get a
lot of June from Fear the Walking Dead, but now
it's a blend. They're like, oh, June, but I've always
loved you since Starma, you know, um but you know
(13:58):
Fear the Walking deads. I think Aims is one of
their biggest international shows. Um so and Darmond Gregg was
in every country. So that's just been a really nice
um blend of bringing audiences together that that's been really
really great and I it means so much to me
(14:19):
when because with Fear the Walking Dead, it's so character
driven and your characters go through so much, and the
the fans really really lean in with their heart and
soul into your character's journey and they feel the emotions
you feel, they're right there with you. And so when
you see people on the street and they and I
(14:40):
love my character and I am so committed to my character,
and I'm really into the Walking Dead universe and I
love all of it. And so when they got June,
I love, I love how you played that thing or
that moment or oh my god, my heart broke for you,
like they're invested, and I just find that so special
and cool. And you, I mean, you want a Golden
Globe and Emmy to Emmy nominations. So do you go
(15:07):
to the award shows now? Have because this is all
for Darman Gregg? Right, Yeah, that was for Dharmin Greg.
I haven't been only because I started having my kids,
and I really I find when I'm at work, as
you know, as any working mother knows, when you're away
(15:28):
from them, you feel you should be with them, and
when you're with them, at after a certain point, you
start longing for. It's raising children's very creative, but you
long for also your own personal creative outlet. And so
I just when I started having my kids, I didn't
go to events unless it was directly connected to something
(15:51):
I was doing, because I knew that when I am working,
it's so hard being away from them. So when i'm not,
I'm really with them. And even when I am working,
I'm very much with them. They usually bring them with me.
It's easier when they were a little younger, you know,
you can just tote them around and stuff, but now
they've got their lives and their friends, so I really
(16:12):
take time off when I'm not working, I really am
with them. Well, it's so funny because I was just
wondering because I'm sure when you are going to the
award shows and you were younger, I mean, there was
an excitement, but there also must have been an angst
(16:34):
about what do I look like? Do I look good enough?
I don't know. You all worry about different things, like
what did you worry about? And do you think you
would still worry about the same things now? A hundred
percent would not worry about the same things now, not
even close zero. No, what I did worry about though?
I had that and i've you know, had time to
(16:57):
look back on all of that now, And it's funny,
it's almost childlike your anxieties when you go to event
press events because you're you know, when you're a kid
in school, you don't want to get in well, if
you're a good kid, you don't want to like get
in trouble, and you want to please people, and you
want to be accepted and you don't and you want
(17:19):
to be admired and all of these like panicky, weird
like why you know? And once you crossed the threshold
for me anyway of like my late forties into fifties,
I so understand the value of my own integrity based
(17:40):
off of what I observed in my life and my
own knowledge and knowing what I know has so much
value to me and nobody can take it away or
touch it, and it's gold and that to me, when
I'm now on a red carpet or doing press, I
am so in the pocket of my own experiential knowledge
(18:00):
that I don't care what anyone thinks, you know, I'm
not there to please anybody. Um there experience. Yeah, and
are you dressed differently? Did you try to fit something?
And now you just know what you are and what works? Yeah.
I wanted to like be you know, sort of I
want people to dig me, you know, And now like
(18:22):
I totally don't care if they do. And I dress
for what sparks joy and what I love or what
just feels fun, just because it brightens my spirit, and
that has so much value. I think you really start
seeing what, what does, what's valuable, what is important? Like
what actually is gold and what's fool's gold, you know,
(18:45):
and getting approval from others as fool's gold. It's it
has it does the next day, they're not there with you,
nothing nothing they they're not there with you in the
hard times. Impressing them has no long term meaningful value
you because they're not there when life gets hard, and
when life gets hard, you're there with your own abilities
(19:06):
and your true friendships. And like, to me, that's the gold. Well,
it's funny because the invitations fly in, you know, after
COVID they fly in, and it's like, do I have
to go get an outfit where I'm going to be
uncomfortable and get my hair done, in my makeup and
worry about it, or can I just go to my
friend's house for dinner, you know, with wet hair and
a ponytail. And it's like not even I don't think
(19:28):
twice about it. Where I used to like, oh my god,
I should really be there. There's gonna be all these
great people, and now I'm like I don't want to
do it. You know. It's like to get me somewhere,
it has to be like a value add for me personally.
It's like I want to be with other women who
are helping other women who are powerful and who are
smart and not just you know, wearing a flower dress
and twirling. So totally yeah, yes, yes, I feel like
(19:53):
if there's you know, very interested in people, like I
just think people are very interesting and um, you know,
if it's an event where I feel like I'm gonna
learn something or I'm going to have a great conversation,
even if it's like a superficial fluff event. But if
there's someone I know that's going to be there that
(20:14):
I can like have a really great conversation with and
like have a takeaway, especially like a great woman who
I admire or something that I wouldn't have the opportunity
to have that experience otherwise, then I'm like, yeah, maybe
you know, like you said, where you can have a
great conversation, there's a takeaway. It's it's it's an enhancement
(20:37):
or can I you know, am I going to be
speaking where I can maybe enhance someone else or inspire
somebody to make the world better because I don't need
the like green check mark of who wore it best?
Like I. It's like, yeah, you also have a change
ability to parent or joy and you also have this
long term relationship marriage with your husband. Um and it's
(21:01):
his real name Body, Yeah, born and raised Body. He
had a very hippy mother, yea from like was he
from like Colorado or something or a heart of Hollywood
like sunset and conga. Wow? Okay, And and what are
the you know, what are what are the challenges trying
to like figure out, you know, how to make him
(21:22):
happy and your kids happy and your career and forget
about the fourth thing, which is you Like, I'm only
asking because I understand it, but what are the challenges
for you? Yeah? Uh, you know. A long time ago,
I happen to read this article, this interview with Madonna
and a fashion magazine, and it was long before I
had kids, but she had kids and they were young
(21:44):
at the time of this article, and I just this
lodged in my mind. She she was just because she
was asked the same question, like, how do you do
it all? How are you Madonna and a mother? You know?
And she said time management, and that just like stuck
in my head. And I really really have become a
(22:04):
big fan and user of time management. Uh. It's amazing
what you can get done in a day if you're
organized enough. Sometimes I had a protest about being too
organized because it just felt unfun to me. And I'm
much more fly by the seat of my pants if I, like,
if I didn't have other people who like needed me
to fulfill certain needs, I would just float through my
(22:27):
days enjoying the spontaneity of life. That's my happy life.
But there's too many things that need to be in harmony.
So it's really It's taken me a long time to
find my my best working practice for being organized, and
it sounds really technical, but I'm going to share it
here because I never know if there's another one. It
(22:48):
took me forever to find a work system for me,
and I finally found one. It's very administrative, though, but
I finally figured out because I'd have like too many
to do list because I wear so many hats, and
I thought we'll have a to do list for each hat,
and then it's like, well, that's way too many pads
of paper. And so what I ended up doing is
I made a preprinted daily form that has all my
(23:12):
hats on it, all my areas of demand, which you know, um,
from homeschooling my kids and their needs of doctor appointments
and whatever, to my own podcast, to working on my
own script, to my own doctor appointments, to exercise, et cetera, nutrition,
(23:33):
And I have one big old to do list, and
every day I pulled from the big to do list,
and I have on those things, I have little time
slots of when what time am I going to do
this today? And I planned my days with this pre
printed form with all of my things on it is
because that's the only way I was getting it done. Yeah,
but how can we access this form? Like where could
(23:55):
you make this form? I have it on my UM
I had and I printed out and it's my daily form,
so mad itself. Yeah, just using pages app on my Wow,
Well that is that is definitely something that you know,
being an entrepreneur. I'm like, okay, we could, we could
brand that, Jenna, we could definitely. Yeah. Yeah. But as
(24:18):
I'm listening to all of this and I've you know,
got my own things. What the person that made the
biggest difference in me being a mom and trying to
figure it all out and trying to be missed is perfect.
I was on some panel with Tina Brown and someone
asked her the question, how did you do it all
while you were doing Vanity Fair and this and that?
And she said, do you want to know? And everyone
leaned in. She said it was a mess. The whole
(24:41):
thing was a mess. It was a ship show, it
was And we just all sat there with their mouth
open because everyone always seemed like they had it all
together and we didn't. And yeah, Bobby, tell people the truth.
Some days we're good, some days were not good. So
it's Oh yeah. Then some days that whole thing goes
out the window because is one kid's got a headache
(25:01):
and wants me to lay in bed with him and
rub his temples. And I'm just like sitting there and
you know, in inside, I'm like so happy because nothing
makes me happier than just hanging out with my kids
and like snuggling with them. And I'm so happy to
throw the to do list out the window and set
it on fire. Like you know, I only have that
to do list. It does not bring me joy. It
(25:22):
does not something I look forward to. It does not
turn me on or light my fire. I hate being
that organized. I hate it so much, but it's a
necessity because too many things will fall by the wayside,
and how many it is. But how do you homeschool
the kids while you're like a TV movie star, like
explain that to me. Yeah, my brain feels like it's
(25:45):
bleeding sometimes, and uh, you know, hence the list, because
I don't know how to do the workouts, focus on
my what I'm eating, do my other podcast, prep the show,
home school let alone, you know, dentist appointments and little
um so I have checklist for the kids with all
(26:08):
their subjects and I write out what they're doing that day. Uh,
and then I go off to work and my assistant
has been getting them through and then yeah, no I'm
not working, I'm doing it. You know. If if I'm filming,
she's doing it. My favorite part of the day was
drop off. Yeah, let in the car, guys, come on,
(26:32):
we gotta go all right. Yes, there is a bit
of like it rolls off you when you get to
put somebody else in charge for a few hours. So
I know, so okay, there's so many like aspects of you.
I want to hear about your podcast and you do
that with your husband. Yeah. So we've been together thirty
thirty one years something like that, and people always ask
(26:54):
us how do you do it? Especially in Hollywood, you know,
and we just go kicking and screaming because that is
how we get through it pretty much. Um, we're best friends.
But we just decided we had always wanted to do
a scripted comedy about marriage because we feel like marriage
is either represented in television and like ha ha ha
cute sitcom or like marriage is the worst thing on
(27:16):
earth single camera drama, and there's never been a show
that like captures all of it, because relationships are all
of it. It's all of it, as you know. And
I had always just been on shows, and so we
start a podcast to just start talking about the area
and create material for writers for if we ultimately do
(27:36):
a show, and it kind of got its own legs
and people love it and we're just it's a humorous take.
We talk about our own issues. We talked just about
the politics of marriage, the double standards in a very conversational,
humorous way, much like you and I are doing here.
And is it where do we see it? Is it
on What's Your Who's Who's? Yeah? I have it on
(27:57):
my YouTube channel, the Jenna Elfman YouTube channel because we
film it um. But you know, people can also listen
wherever they listen to their podcasts, and it's called kicking
and screaming. All right, I will and I will absolutely
maybe my husband I will listen to it on the
three hour drive back and forth from New Jersey, you know, yes, yes, yeah.
And then the other I would really love to deep
(28:18):
dive in is how do you take care of yourself? What?
What is your nutrition, what's your exercise? What have you
tried that didn't work? And what has made a difference. Yeah,
I feel. You know, it's funny if you work on
anything long enough, the things that don't work kind of
start fall by the wayside, and there's those constants that
always stay working. Um hydration is a mega one for me.
(28:39):
You know, I don't drink. Maybe a couple of times
a year. I have some wine, but I really don't drink.
I notice it ages me so fast when I drink um.
I know wine has got the antioxidants and whatever, but
it im when I mean, it just ages my skin
so fast, Like in a week, My skin changes if
(29:00):
I have wine a couple of times a week. It's crazy.
What do you do, like when you just need like
a break? Are you? Are you? I go for you know, no,
I don't. I don't smoke cigarettes or weed. I did
that when as a teenager, and I put smoking years
ago for vanity reasons, because I started seeing the wrinkles
around the mouth that you can't get rid of. So
(29:21):
I stopped. I go for a walk and I look
outwards and I get extroverted. Um, because you know, when
you start getting stressed, you're super introverted. And so I
find a good walk of looking outwards, not looking down
at the ground, looking at my thoughts, but really genuinely
looking at the world around me really helps bring my
(29:43):
mood up if I get overstressed. Um. I also throughout
the day, I found what really works for me is
I take little ten minute breaks and I go away
from everyone. I'll sit on the front porch or go
sit out on the deck or wherever. If I'm at work,
I just go away from people and I just walk
or I said, I'll just scroll through my Instagram or
(30:04):
do nothing, stare at a treat and I just shut off.
I shut off all of my mental stress and I
just I totally let myself just be in that moment um,
and it keeps me really calibrated. I found I take
these little ten minute breaks throughout the day mental Where
(30:25):
did you learn this? Just? I craved it. I just
found it worked for me. I just would find this
need to to seclude, do you know, to go away
from stimulus? Because I found, really with social media and smartphones,
how much I think it's very insidious. What can happen
(30:47):
to your bandwidth, your own you're scrolling from, whether it's
news which I won't even look at anymore, um, Instagram, face, whatever,
these things are that people look at on their phone,
your mom, you're it's like re nine passion magazines today
and newspapers and like all day long. It's weird if
you think about what we're putting our attention on all
the time. It's very dispersing because you'll look at something
(31:10):
and then you close your phone, you walk away, and
all those mental pictures are just stuck to your mind,
you know, And so then you you're literally diluting your
bandwidth and your reasoning power and your self calming power
because half of it is spread out over these mental
experiences you just had scrolling on your phone. But we
don't realize it. It's really really insidious. So I I
(31:35):
really spend a lot less time on my phone. Um
because when you were saying, you know earlier, what do
you miss? And I was talking about there's no social media.
Back when I was doing GREG and like you know,
the schedule, just living life, there was more of me
totally present at any given time in any conversation. Working
(31:58):
on my script was much more folks, This I wasn't
constantly and then you know, read a few pages, then
scrolling on my phone and read a few pages. There's
a power to me of just doing what you are
doing while you are doing it and not diluting it constantly.
And it's like breaking up a pie into too many
(32:18):
pieces that it falls apart. Right. So I think of
myself and my own management of my mental attention kind
of like a pie, and if you cut it in
too many parts, it's just it's not viable. Like my
my reasoning power, my solution thought process becomes less viable
and potent when it's dispersed. So, uh, that's that's something
(32:43):
I do and I that's one of the things that
really works for me. How about the way you eat
and nutrition? Because you say you put that on your list,
So what is for you? Um, I'm not a Yeah,
(33:08):
I don't know what it is. If it's just getting older,
if it's logic, if it's motherhood. I can't like restrict
myself so much. I don't know it's a pandemic. But
I I'm not big for I can't starve myself. I
can't do like minimal calories. I'm just like no, I
like food. I like eating. I enjoy delicious things. It's
(33:31):
one of the moments of joy throughout my days. Delicious
food it's happiness. What have you eaten today? What have
you eaten today? I had um some oatmeal at breakfast,
and then for lunch, I had a huge bowl of
steamed uh um cauliflower and boiled potatoes with olive oil
(33:53):
and salt and pepper. And I have my protein shakes,
and I like beans and rice and soups and sometimes meat,
but not very often. I love tofu shakes and stir fries,
and I you know, I'll have a bowl of pasta
every now and then. I don't do lots of breads um,
but I do. If my kids eating a sour dough
(34:14):
toast and it looks amazing, I'm gonna have my sour
dough toast. But I try to eat whole grains rather
than processed foods. But then I also eat my chips
if I'm at a baseball Yeah, I think. I think
now it's called intuitive eating. Yeah, I mean, you know,
I don't over focus. There's just some common sense to it,
you know. I think if you're eating a lot of
(34:35):
like crap food, I mean, you know, just have your
vegetables and just be have some common sense with what
about ex um? I do treadmill and weight lifting, and uh,
I have a row machine, so I do circuit training.
I swim and tread water. That one I find is incredible.
(34:58):
Luckily I have a pool so I can just hop
in and do that. But treading water has been unbelievably
toning for me. UM. I don't enjoy jogging very much.
I don't like the high impact, but I can walk
for hours and my body loves it. Um. And and
you know sit ups and the road like I said,
(35:19):
the row machine and lifting weights and you know a
lot of that, like sort of cross fit. I suppose
I really love pilates, but I don't find it very
convenient to go out to a pilates place and do
my lessons at this point in my life with filming
and homeschooling and commuting and um. But pilates, especially with
my ballet upbringing one pilates lesson changes my body. It's crazy,
(35:44):
but I noticed not much. My body doesn't change as
fast as it used to. Like I had a stomach
bug recently. I think I may be consumed five hundred
calories in three days. Like I could I couldn't eat.
I had a fever like I don't know what it was,
and I lost no weight. Wow, it was a bummer,
you know, because usually that's the perk if you have
to go through that kind of hell, at least you
(36:05):
come out a couple of pounds lighter. And I got
nothing out of it. It's like the metabolism totally changes
at my age. It's it's I don't know how it
is for you, but something ever, but you've never had
a weight issue though, you've always been one of them. No,
but like, yeah, I'm twenty pounds more than I normally
am right now, No way, that's not even Well then
(36:25):
maybe you were under but I, you know, gained probably
about twelve to fifteen pounds during the pandemic and I
have since lost it. So I have no choice but
to just eat less healthy and healthy and good. But
I have to. It's just it's it's honestly, there's no
secret to weight loss. You just have to eat less
than you are consuming. That's the you know. Unfortunately, that's
(36:48):
it's a math problem. So it is just it really
is and moving and you know, the body must move.
It's not meant to sit around the body is You're
rigged and created for motion. Yeah, and then just because
I'm always very curious, like to have any favorite brands
of jeans or T shirts, like like anything that you're like,
(37:12):
oh my god, these are the best cotton underwear, the
best cotton anything, like what do you what? What do
you got? Yeah? Well, you know, I okay, so well
I always were haiky panky and these because I just
love them and they're super comfortable. Um, I've really gotten
into Banana Republic. This jacket is Banana Republic and it's
I'm sorry, I just have to show you really fast.
(37:33):
I know it's an audio podcast. How great is this?
And they have like linen shirts that are just bitching
for the hot humidity here in Austin. Um. Uh, I
do a gold eagle e egle jeans. They always fit
me great. Um, I have many a pair. Um. Then
(37:58):
I switched between a couple of side is, depending on
if I want a tighter fit or a boyfriend fit.
Um and uh I wear notry T shirt bros. All
Like that's all I just missed on a loop. That's
what I get. Um, And I think that's I'm a
jeans and T shirt kind of a girl, or sweaters
(38:20):
and bags and boots in the fall and winter. I
love just great jackets and coats and um boots, you know,
but you're like, you're in Austin. When are you gonna
wear them? Like, isn't it hot? Well, it does get wintry.
We had that snow apocalypse here. Um it did get
like six below with tons of snow for a week.
It was crazy. That was an anomaly. But it does
(38:42):
get cold in the winter here for a couple of months.
But man, it is I do the kind of the
only thing I miss about l A is the weather,
the dry, beautiful sunshine. I'm going through this week and
I'm really for my husband's birthday. We're just gonna go
spend some time together. I don't think we've been away.
We've been away once for a few days without the
(39:04):
kids in fifteen years. Oh my god, that's crazy. Other
than that a night, we've gone away for a night,
but that's it. So we're going away for like five
days for his birthday, just to go to Dodger games
and see our friends. And um, I'm gonna go visit
my mom and I'm really looking forward to that. You know,
I think I don't let myself be away from my
(39:27):
kids much because I don't you know, you always here's
the thing for me as a mother, as I always
hear women say, it's just crazy how fast it goes,
and then one day you're like, where did it all go?
How did it happen? Where was I? How did they
grow up so fast? And they feel like they weren't
there for it? But you work so hard as a
(39:49):
mother that I don't want to have that, like that's
my pay for working so hard is where did it go?
I don't even know what happened. No, I want to
remember everything that happened, and I'm gonna be there for it.
So I don't really go away from my kids very
much except for when I'm filming. Well, so I think
this will be nice week. Well, you've given so many
(40:10):
nuggets of advice to people listening, and I've written I've
written many notes in my head. But I want to
ask one last question for you that for the people listening,
if you could tell them right now what they could
do that's going to change something in their life according
to you, what would it be? Um? I think it
is too. It's an it's more of a daily discipline
(40:34):
because I don't think there's a magic anything for anything.
I think it's a discipline, which is to really be
conscious about staying true to your own integrity, and the
integrity is knowing what you yourself are observing at any
given time and permitting yourself to know that that is
(40:58):
what you are observing and to stage to it no
matter what. And daily exercise. But I think we don't
think we have the rights to our own minds and
our own souls and our own hearts the way we
actually do. And to take back that ownership over what
you observe to be true for yourself as a daily exercise,
(41:21):
I think is one of the most healthy and beneficial
exercises to do. Well. Thank you so much, and um,
it was really really, really really fun to connect with you.
And I hope one day to go back to our
past and do your makeup somewhere sometimes so I would
love that so much. I would love in a new
(41:42):
a new moment to address my face um as it
is now. That would be really cool, all right, well,
because keep being happy, all right, but I will. Thanks
for listening. Follow us on social the Important Things podcast
(42:02):
on Instagram and just Bobby Brown on TikTok. See you
guys next time.
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