December 26, 2025 • 32 mins
Friday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, John Boy finds out he’s worth more dead than alive.. - We’ll see what Phil McCracken has planned for his New Year’s Resolutions.. - We’ll recap a listener’s letter giving John Boy the idea that we should hire ex-cons.. - Randy has a high level meeting interrupted for a low-level reason.. - Hoyt and Delbert meet an Ape Wrangler.. - Rooster and Road Runner get one more spin for their Mayberry Song.. - and John Boy applies for the role of King in Swaziland…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning. Good day.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
You're old pal STEVI here, No, not the former idiot intern,
the Crocodile Stalker, and you're listening to my two favorite
bonds of mates, John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this Knacker studio.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Hey, what's this wire for? Man Adam? The Big Show
(01:03):
is on the radio. The good news. Besides the Big
Show being on the radio, it's Friday. Alrighty, how's everybody
all right?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Everybody?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
We should be back in a work swing by now, y'all.
Looks like it all right, old pillars, I found out
it looks like I found of where Pearl got glitter
on her.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
They've been hanging with the tailor again.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
She's rubbing up against the low hanging Christmas balls on
the Christmas tree. Uh. You know that's the same way
that Taylor got. Taylor's been slowly undecorating our Christmas tree.
And here there's steal some some low. I think she's
afraid to bend over while I'm looking over there in
the corner.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Because you start talking to your teeth like you're doing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Now in the studio me Billy Pillars and Jackie right
now Andy behind the glass, Good morning, Andy, Good to
see my money.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Cocker doodle do.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Okay, when Tay gets gets in here, I'm gonna try
to get her to take the rest of the ornaments.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
We'll playing a little joke.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Okay, So tell her pet pearl and while she's bedding pearl,
take some balls off the tree.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
And here's a.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Pack of Oscar Mayer Bloni to throw at her butt
when she's been over What are you doing over there?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I don't know what our workplace fun We're not man. No, not.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
So workplace fun to you equals an open pack of
Oscar and Tater taking the falls.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Off the course.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yes, oh right, wait a minute, come to think of it,
that's my dear.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
And uh yeah, and we got random balls hanging from
the ceiling here and then lights all around Christmas lights
all around the top of the room.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Is Hey, what what happened to my Charlie Brown Christmas tree?
Is that already put in storage? Yeah? But that up?
Everybody loved that. That was a favorite thing we had.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Guests in here wanted I made some Christmas money. Okay, alright,
let's uh, let's get to it. Big show for you
today later this morning, handsing it and in yet, but
he'll be and he's bringing a special guest. He is
a clinical psychologist. He is a brain expert. He's got
a clinic and beautiful Hilton Head, South Carolina where they
(03:26):
map your brain.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Wait a minute, he's a brain expert and he's hanging
out with hands.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well, what the hell does that little perverse, little good
laboratory rap for him?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Mister Hanson, get on this wheel and rot.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
He's probably got electrodes on his head right now.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, good morning, Marcy. How you doing that? Baby? Look
a look at par Land under that Christmas tree? Ain't
that sweet? Pretty? She wants me to get it out
of her way?
Speaker 5 (03:50):
Is what we want?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Why don't you take some of those balls off the bottom?
Of course?
Speaker 6 (03:54):
Okay, I'll get I'll get to that after I finished
the second pot of coffee and.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
The well, dude, are sure doing doing now?
Speaker 6 (04:01):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Okay, pet, Pet, my man, That's what I'm talking about,
my mind. Wait, wait, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Nothing?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
I have a brain expert coming on later, he asked us.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
In form little.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Experiment rub that glitter. I'll per.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Glitter. Who you the purpy old guy on the family guy?
Rub that glitter off of them?
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Do it?
Speaker 7 (04:28):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'll gost some cancer in my pocket for you.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
Where's your er and get you?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Come on, maybe this is not a good day for
doctor ranking to come after.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Let's say we got here first prize package this morning?
Could you use one hundred dollars American Express gift guard.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yes, that's what we got.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
To start taking them balls off, you know, let's swipe
it right, don't want you got left?
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Oh I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Oh well, it's courtesy.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I think your card has been declined something.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Alrighty did?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
All right, back to work, here we go. We got
three dates in history. This will make your three categories.
Here's your legs up for outburst. Seventeen eighty nine, the
first US presidential election was held. America's voted for electors,
who a month later chose George Washington to be the
nation's first president. Uh ye, can we trust.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
People to do that these days?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
All right?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
We gonna let y'all pay the president.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Well, basically that is how we do it nowaday.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh it's really well, I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Oh right, move up to nineteen oh three, the BB
gun was invented.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Oh yeah, and ten minutes later the first I was.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Put out by water.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I remember my mama taim first one. Be careful that
first thing. Little idiot did what out off a stop sign?
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Bounce back?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Hit me in the cheek, I said, all boy, if
my put my eye out, Mama would beat my hand.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Oh, Mario was up there somewhere going a little idiot.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
And finally on the date in nineteen thirty four, Flash
Gordon comic strip debut, Flash Gordon, What was he like?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
The first superhero? Can you track her?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Superhero?
Speaker 7 (06:22):
One of the It was one of the first early
like science fiction type heroes for sure.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Thirty four? All right, old Flash, I wish Pervismon was here.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Uh so, there you go. That's our three categories. Who
wants to play one eight hundred big show? You told
free line, call on up, We'll play out burst negs.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
You're not in a big show? Is on the radio?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Moving to your Friday video today, the bottoms up beer Tap.
It's pretty amazing it is. You can check it out
at a big show dot com right.
Speaker 6 (07:19):
Not a good it did.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
N't it uppers.
Speaker 7 (07:25):
Let's be upperst It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
John, Barry and Billy give your prizes from the big
Prize per Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 7 (07:40):
This should be a lot of fun when you're playing uppers.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Have a urry up and guess time you have the
best time.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
You love a big shots.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Let's say, hey, the Dusty from Jacksonsville.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
North Carolina.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
We how we doing?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Does that doing good?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Buddy?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Welcome to the big show.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Everything all right, yes, sir, good, alright, this shouldn't be
a problem for you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Dusty.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
The record so far this year for three categories five
point three seconds. I'll just be keeping up if you
can beat that, no pressure. You get five seconds per category.
Are you familiar with the rules? Any questions before we start, sir?
All right, but let's do it. Three presidents, Ready, go Washington,
(08:39):
Bush and Bush three point zero second.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Now we need three guns.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Ready, goll be begun, a rifling, a nine meal. Well
that's over four, okay, over five point three.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
I'm gonna quit worrying about it. Now for the wind
three comic strips, ready, go in a back wood and
all flashboarding.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Alright, and that worn't any legs and that man made mail. Dusty,
you got that one hundred dollars American Espresso GiB card
and uh we slide. They just sail one hundred dollars
on air. Have fun with it, Dusty.
Speaker 7 (09:28):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Offshr wheel, Hi, my man, hangout. It's part about the
hour time on the top of your news all right,
ooh bhil McCracken come out right, uh part time reception
as in the studio in minute saga, good.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Morning, A big show is on the radio. All right, Yeah,
I don't want to peak too early.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Man. Man, that was feeling good, and I found out
I'm worth more to Billy dead than live.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Really, he's giving everybody a heart. I can't believe that.
Speaker 7 (10:41):
And nobody starts getting on him about it, about how
he works twenty.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Four hours a week and stuff like that.
Speaker 7 (10:46):
I said, y'all please, I have an insurance policy on him.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
He's worth more to me dead than a light. And
I don't talk to him.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Not that that's right. Well, he has got the story
about me.
Speaker 8 (10:56):
He was going to take a nap at some well
rough spot in town, but I mean here in the beach,
just to punish us.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah, sometime I kill me and I ain't taking my gun,
and I said you better not stop and sleep on
the side of the road. Yeah, I don't care, I said, yes,
we do. And Randy said, well I don't.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
And it got ugly from there.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, I'm more word Billy didn't lie. And look he
don't treat me like that.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
He said about.
Speaker 8 (11:27):
For just a second, my head it flashing him. Popular
Morning DJ killed in assault. Producer said he had it.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Come in.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
One of those wild West things. He needed to kill it.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Partner said, great, I'm rich, so you're right we don't care. Yeah, right, good,
Now we got that. Say, don't you feel better? I
do good?
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Friday morning, you got the big show on the radio.
He Now, let's welcome in the studio. Phil m'crackn oh.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
Happy new year, old you semi conscious, hasty, another year
flushed down the beamus and a brand new three hundred
and sixty five days a hell are ahead of us.
All we can do is hold on tight, squeeze our cheeks,
and pray we make it to the other end without
prairie dogging.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
But during the interim, but get it I through that.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
But during the interim, there are little things we can
all do to improve ourselves during our journey down life's
dirt road. Every year, at this time, most of us
make some sort of half hearted attempt to do just that.
They're called New Year's resolutions, and since you big show breeders,
they're obviously too lazy to come up.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
With your own.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Here, I come to say, the day gets who gets
the first turn in the barrel? Marcy, Marcy with the
shrinking Arcie. Now that she's well on her way to spelthood,
it's time to abandon your husband's wardrobe and start dressing
like the sexy little vixen you are. Goodbye sweatshirt, Hello,
(13:25):
cleave us.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
The old saying is.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
If you got it flawted, and since the brains aren't
your long suit, you better get to flawn in that sister,
your resolution, tramp it up a little, Let do that top,
But let those things breathe a little, lest we forget
our dear Jackie. Now, I know what I want to say,
(13:52):
but I'm struggling for a way to say it that
is not misconstrued as a racial comment. So how about
this try acting? Oh, shall we say les's white? I
believe the problem is who you associate with You spend
more time with crackers than Campbell's soup. You are a strong,
(14:16):
proud black Cif top this top, start acting like it.
Your resolution, groove on your heritage. What roots this year?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Get a clue?
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Home, Smarty Marty, short and sweet your resolution sea cup
to bee cup boom roast Babs, My precious little angel.
Always remember that knowledge is power. And just because you're
not book smarts, there are always things that are vital
(14:57):
importance to know your resolution. Ask the tough questions in life,
like the guy's name before you take him home?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Or are you married? Or are you sure that's just
to rugbyurn? Just a suggestion?
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Love you, little Billy, You go, little little Billy, that's
fun to say, Like this top. When it comes to
slaving away in the comedy minds mayor Canary never die,
whatever the hell that but all work and no play
(15:36):
makes little Billy a dull boy. And the pale boy
you go home and hold up in front of the computer.
You never see the light to day, no offense, but
you turn it into a mushroom. I'm not saying you're pale,
but when you stand next to Marcy, she looks like
Snookie from Jersey.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So your resolution, get some son Son.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
And finally, John Boy, the man who never fails the
eye test. I want to say my sentence. I don't
like it this way. I want my wah wah aye
ye ye yye. It's sound like a Mexican pool boy.
Your resolution left me more wee Oh who am I kidding?
(16:23):
Ready to put me up to that You're perfect, never changed,
so that maybe that shirt. How many days in a row?
Happy New Year, Hicks and Hiccat too many Cooper, carry
on straight people.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
The big shows on your radio. Coming up in minutes,
John Boy Jeff Andy will be played. Another winner will
be made playing for one of them. Out no hands,
skin cream prize packs, leave your cracks behind, askraut, no
hands your local pharmacy here, check it out at the
Big Show dot com. All right, let's see some sef
Here's an email Caman Randy to us here at hey,
(17:22):
John Mobility, rested, Big Show Gang, faithful, incarcerated, Big Show
listener one of our captive audience, Douglas Crouch. I got
your letter, Doug. He wants to apply for and our
two John Boys entourage. Please forward me a copy of
the application form and any rules that I will need
to follow for applying for the position.
Speaker 7 (17:37):
Wait a minute, has he's he's in jail.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Yeah, he's in the Uh let's see the BIB Correctional
Facility in Print, Alabama.
Speaker 7 (17:47):
This is not good see because you know, if he's parole,
one of his conditions of parole is he won't be
able to associate with no an idiots.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Let's save a lot of time that way.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Please relate to the Big Show Gang that I love,
the show keeper, the good work Jackie. If you need
any assistance with any of the Big Show Gang, please
call me albeit your service.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I love you all.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Mean it all right? Uh, still have an audience here.
D H says like, oh, that was a letter he
wrote to Rayford two. I thought it was all this
when I read that for put it on Rayford's desk
and say, mom, blope about a million incarcerated people in
America right now?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Cool, we're number one. That's a bigger than any like corporation.
Speaker 8 (18:33):
So I don't know, I don't know, a lot of
them probably are from America.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, yeah, you think about all the great business minds
and stuff and labors and people in jail why don't
we like get them all together. I mean, you know,
get the ones that we can trust, come all together,
the inn with the let's get the line in prison
we can trust.
Speaker 7 (18:51):
Yeah, yeah, the guy from on Ron and Lex Luthor,
you old, get.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Them all together. Why don't you just bust out the
joker the river. That's what we need. You're on something here, John,
and we'll get them all capes.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
All right, Get ready, We're gonna have a giant ray
gun here in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
All right, because you know when they say trying to
change my ways, Waring, you know you can trust them.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Let's get kill at the bill.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
Yeah, it's time you harden in or out.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
She's out right now. I haven't heard anything this morning.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
You don't want her anymore, do you. She's not in jail,
but she still could be in jail, so that makes
her man.
Speaker 9 (19:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
We all just don't dismiss this idea. It might be
something in there. I know it's wrong, but I'm an idea, man.
I'm with you.
Speaker 7 (19:45):
Oh yeah, why we could get one million dollars?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Oh all right? You all finished mocking me?
Speaker 4 (19:59):
That depends are you finished talking?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Good morning? The big shows on your radio?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
All right? Did let's play this John Boy Jeopardy thing.
I told you about outdoor Hands skin cream prize. But
I gotta take care of you old cracks. All right, Well,
here we go today's John Boy Jeopardy question. Illinois is
the only state in America that allows motorists to pay
toll booth fares using these.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
What is a warning shot?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
No?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Wait that they use that in Detroit too?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
It no, what do y'all think?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
One eight hundred? Big show? You told free line? We
go to we get a winter, We play John Boy
Jeopardy next, Good morning to make show us.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
On the radio.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
It's time?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah, who live across aerca?
Speaker 7 (21:15):
You are one Boy Jeopardy right now a man who
once tried to pay a toll with a Friday shout
out on Jeopardy.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
We should know if it worked in about old ten
minutes pee. He's John Moore.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
And we got James first. Up, James out of Anderson, Georgia.
How are you today, James er?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I'm doing fine, but how about.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
You doing real? Good man? Welcome to John boyd Jeopardy. Alrighty,
Illinois the only state in America that allows motorists to
pay toll booth fares using these.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
I think it's pennies.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
You think it's pennies, Well show us some pennies.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Look at your thinking, right.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
I would like to give a shout out to span
Cornpuckle who was working the mooth James Colgate pud pack
Man's pride to pack tip tip. That's all yours, buddy,
Congratulations without out nor hands skinned cream prize pack. Jackie's
gonna get your address. Hopefully the correct one should be
(22:24):
arriving at your house and Anderson in no time at all. Oh,
thank you morning, the Big Shows all Radio. My daily
(22:51):
harassing phone call from Hunter's Creek Kennels where my dogs
are vacationing.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah, I wonder what causes the harassing call.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Been there for a year, I've been there just a
couple of weeks, yeah, I a couple of weeks for
the summer camp.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And making you like an ash tray and.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Vacation Bible school.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Good Yeah, I know, stopped by the seating boys do
missing dogs. Just been so busy.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
You gotta find remember, find something to do with summer
that you do and then quit it.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
So you're looking at that for my dollars. Man, Oh,
yesterday when I called you, well, let me tell you
this story like this.
Speaker 8 (23:37):
Now, we've got people in from the corporate office right
to have meetings all day. But anyway, so we were
talking about all the new features and all this kind
of stuff and things that we need to do, and
covering some important business in the phone rings and my
phone's on vibrate. But I glanced at it and I
see it says John Boy call. I said, well, you know,
he's got this new boat and he's you know, do
you'll mind if I just take this call right quick.
It's probably important. He knows I'm going to be in
(23:58):
a meeting, so he wouldn't be bothered me.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Otherwise.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
They said, hey, it's us.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
No, no, no, go ahead, please take a call.
Speaker 8 (24:04):
So I asked the phone and I'm you know, if
I tell you John Boys party, it'll spoil the story.
But you just imagine the way he talks to me, okay,
And I'm trying to be professional. Oh hey, yeah, yeah,
good to hear from you, John Boy. Yeah yeah, yeah,
I can take care of that. Sure, uh huh. Specifically
I needed well, let me let me call you back
on that in a bit. All right, all right, did
(24:25):
you did you try jiggling the handle? And the meeting
stopped and they all looked at me. Well, sometimes the
chain comes loose from the the thing to the flapper,
you know, so I can. Yes, I'll come by after
work and take So he interrupted my meeting and humiliate me.
(24:48):
He really heated me. At the same time.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Part of the conversation on his side was stupid stanpid
like that?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Why, yes, yes, going to help you with that? Oh, hey,
John boy, step it step stupid flush? Stupid from fixing?
What tell me what to do? Well, sure I could
take care of that just after work. It wouldn't meeting problem. Yeah,
sure I can get on no stupid problem and flush. Well,
I mean I could.
Speaker 8 (25:20):
I don't really want to take specifically, Well, sometimes that
the chain comes loose from the flapper.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Did you you jiggle the handle? Yes, that handle, stupid toilet.
I went by and fixed the toilet. Thank you, You're welcome.
If he could flush, he'd be right in with.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Holly. Had to do was take what five ten steps
and there was probably another bathroom.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
This house has more toilets, and then it has bedroom.
Speaker 7 (25:51):
No, they're awful, and the dogs are going, and you
wonder why we don't want to go home?
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Good Friday morning. Got a big show on the radio,
and he looked like you already died.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Alright, it is Jaggy ready back there, baby, Alright, I
don't SE's nobody talking with me.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I guess that's good numb and action.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Pistol
Packing Myrtle. As our story opens, Myrtle Bethid has just
been pulled over by a city police officer.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Afternoon officer, Afternoon, ma'am, al I see your license and registration?
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Please for sure things, Sonny, Hold on just a second.
I got him in here in my purse, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Is that a gun in your purse?
Speaker 9 (27:14):
Yes, sir, it's a Darringer thirty two magnum. It's a
two shot over and under.
Speaker 6 (27:20):
I love the small size. It don't take up half
my purse like some of my other guns.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Do you have other guns in the car with you?
Speaker 7 (27:29):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Do well?
Speaker 9 (27:31):
Under the seat here, I got a chrome plate at
Smith and Wesson forty five.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
Ain't she abuse?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Whoa whoa? Yes, very nice? Suh. Anything else I should
know about?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (27:41):
In the glove box is a glock nine millimeter, you know,
for a bunch of euro trash.
Speaker 9 (27:46):
Them Austrians make pretty donk one good stuff. And in
the trunk I got a Remington eight eighty seven short gun.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
It's the nitromag from mayag Hunt that the tactical version.
Speaker 9 (28:03):
Love coursh anything else, No, No, I think that's everything, ma'am.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
I assume you have permits for all of these good
so uh are you on your way home from a
gun show?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
No, sir, the target range.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
No, sir, just making a quick run to the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Ma'am. You mean you carry all these weapons with you.
Speaker 6 (28:26):
All the time, Yes, sir, pretty much, if.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
You don't mind my asking, ma'am, what in the world
are you afraid of?
Speaker 6 (28:32):
Not a dead gump thing, Sonny, not a dead gump sign.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
And that human head in the backseat somebody.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
You know, tude it again next time?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Over here.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
The krusty old manager at m O World say, hey,
big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Morning. The Big show is on the radio. How you'll
doing all right? I don't know what tickled him so much.
I was just done him up. Oh no, you gotta
you gotta do the.
Speaker 8 (29:25):
Setup and Jackie'll backmamp on this with the room's just
kind of quiet. We're just talking amongst ourselves.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
And then out of.
Speaker 8 (29:31):
Nowhere, from no relation to anything anybody's saying, came this comment.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
From John Boyd. I said, I said our cooking Tricklada
day Jurner. Yeah, done it right, step out the way.
I started cooking this day at three o'clock. I served
at seven. I don't need anything else crack.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Slaving over a hot stool, believe over.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I had the kids out all day. I don't need
y'all's crap. Y'all want to try it? Oh yeah, I got.
I started cutting yesterday three serve seven, third over hot
y'all to try. Now, you can't do it right, and
you're the guy that did it.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
What was that?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
It's just that it came from nowhere. Yeah, he's on
edge this morning. No, he's over the edge.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
We mean you imagine, say that's what tell my wife
all the time. Man ain't no way would have made
it back in the olden days. How about my grandmama.
My grandmama had eight children. One was what my mama
tohow started cooking. Stay in the kitchen all day. First
you had to go get the wood fire to wood stove,
cook breakfast, get a body breakfast, get everybody out working.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Then you have lunch. You make a little lunch.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
While you're making supper, you know, because you got to
cook all day to make supper to feed eight kids
and mama and a daddy.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So that's ten people you cook for supper. I mean
i'm talking about the big supper. I'm talking about vegetables
out of the garden.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
Did you throw that? I don't need your crap on
the end of it is your grandma.
Speaker 9 (31:00):
I need it.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I gotta eat. Yeah, And now what did your grandfather do?
Grandfather was electrician. He was a captain of the fire department,
and that was back before electricity, So I don't know job.
Speaker 8 (31:12):
Now, how would you have made it being your grandfather
having to get out there and work work?
Speaker 6 (31:18):
Was that?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Now you can't compare apples oranges? You just did it
to your water. Now I'm talking about she's got a
family feed. I mean, I'm the I'm the hunter and gatherer.
All right, this was man d we hunting. We gathered.
Now what did and then uh, and the woman is
the nester. What do you call it? Nurture? Thank you, Jackie,
(31:39):
y'all nurturers, wan't y'all nurture.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
I just found out that you were supposed to do
this cooking Saturday and Sunday and didn't, so you got
backed in the corner from those people.
Speaker 7 (31:52):
He's covered up.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
He was out hunting and gathering. It takes quite a
while to hunt down these chicken wings. Okay, are we done?
You're whining about, oh, you had to cook his turn au.
We'll start. Let's all pull ourselves together, starting right now. Okay, ready,
(32:14):
go
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning. Good day.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
You're old pal STEVI here, No, not the former idiot intern,
the Crocodile Stalker, and you're listening to my two favorite
bonds of mates, John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this Knacker studio.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Hey, what's this wire for? Man Adam? The Big Show
(01:03):
is on the radio. The good news. Besides the Big
Show being on the radio, it's Friday. Alrighty, how's everybody
all right?
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Everybody?
Speaker 3 (01:12):
We should be back in a work swing by now, y'all.
Looks like it all right, old pillars, I found out
it looks like I found of where Pearl got glitter
on her.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
They've been hanging with the tailor again.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
She's rubbing up against the low hanging Christmas balls on
the Christmas tree. Uh. You know that's the same way
that Taylor got. Taylor's been slowly undecorating our Christmas tree.
And here there's steal some some low. I think she's
afraid to bend over while I'm looking over there in
the corner.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Because you start talking to your teeth like you're doing.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Now in the studio me Billy Pillars and Jackie right
now Andy behind the glass, Good morning, Andy, Good to
see my money.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
Cocker doodle do.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Okay, when Tay gets gets in here, I'm gonna try
to get her to take the rest of the ornaments.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
We'll playing a little joke.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Okay, So tell her pet pearl and while she's bedding pearl,
take some balls off the tree.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
And here's a.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Pack of Oscar Mayer Bloni to throw at her butt
when she's been over What are you doing over there?
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I don't know what our workplace fun We're not man. No, not.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
So workplace fun to you equals an open pack of
Oscar and Tater taking the falls.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Off the course.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yes, oh right, wait a minute, come to think of it,
that's my dear.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
And uh yeah, and we got random balls hanging from
the ceiling here and then lights all around Christmas lights
all around the top of the room.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Is Hey, what what happened to my Charlie Brown Christmas tree?
Is that already put in storage? Yeah? But that up?
Everybody loved that. That was a favorite thing we had.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Guests in here wanted I made some Christmas money. Okay, alright,
let's uh, let's get to it. Big show for you
today later this morning, handsing it and in yet, but
he'll be and he's bringing a special guest. He is
a clinical psychologist. He is a brain expert. He's got
a clinic and beautiful Hilton Head, South Carolina where they
(03:26):
map your brain.
Speaker 5 (03:28):
Wait a minute, he's a brain expert and he's hanging
out with hands.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well, what the hell does that little perverse, little good
laboratory rap for him?
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Mister Hanson, get on this wheel and rot.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
He's probably got electrodes on his head right now.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Well, good morning, Marcy. How you doing that? Baby? Look
a look at par Land under that Christmas tree? Ain't
that sweet? Pretty? She wants me to get it out
of her way?
Speaker 5 (03:50):
Is what we want?
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Why don't you take some of those balls off the bottom?
Of course?
Speaker 6 (03:54):
Okay, I'll get I'll get to that after I finished
the second pot of coffee and.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
The well, dude, are sure doing doing now?
Speaker 6 (04:01):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Okay, pet, Pet, my man, That's what I'm talking about,
my mind. Wait, wait, what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (04:08):
Nothing?
Speaker 4 (04:12):
I have a brain expert coming on later, he asked us.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
In form little.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Experiment rub that glitter. I'll per.
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Glitter. Who you the purpy old guy on the family guy?
Rub that glitter off of them?
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Do it?
Speaker 7 (04:28):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'll gost some cancer in my pocket for you.
Speaker 6 (04:32):
Where's your er and get you?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (04:39):
Come on, maybe this is not a good day for
doctor ranking to come after.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Let's say we got here first prize package this morning?
Could you use one hundred dollars American Express gift guard.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yes, that's what we got.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
To start taking them balls off, you know, let's swipe
it right, don't want you got left?
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Oh I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Oh well, it's courtesy.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
I think your card has been declined something.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Alrighty did?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
All right, back to work, here we go. We got
three dates in history. This will make your three categories.
Here's your legs up for outburst. Seventeen eighty nine, the
first US presidential election was held. America's voted for electors,
who a month later chose George Washington to be the
nation's first president. Uh ye, can we trust.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
People to do that these days?
Speaker 3 (05:35):
All right?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
We gonna let y'all pay the president.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Well, basically that is how we do it nowaday.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh it's really well, I don't like it.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Oh right, move up to nineteen oh three, the BB
gun was invented.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Oh yeah, and ten minutes later the first I was.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Put out by water.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I remember my mama taim first one. Be careful that
first thing. Little idiot did what out off a stop sign?
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Bounce back?
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Hit me in the cheek, I said, all boy, if
my put my eye out, Mama would beat my hand.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Oh, Mario was up there somewhere going a little idiot.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
And finally on the date in nineteen thirty four, Flash
Gordon comic strip debut, Flash Gordon, What was he like?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
The first superhero? Can you track her?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
Superhero?
Speaker 7 (06:22):
One of the It was one of the first early
like science fiction type heroes for sure.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Thirty four? All right, old Flash, I wish Pervismon was here.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
Uh so, there you go. That's our three categories. Who
wants to play one eight hundred big show? You told
free line, call on up, We'll play out burst negs.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
You're not in a big show? Is on the radio?
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Moving to your Friday video today, the bottoms up beer Tap.
It's pretty amazing it is. You can check it out
at a big show dot com right.
Speaker 6 (07:19):
Not a good it did.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
N't it uppers.
Speaker 7 (07:25):
Let's be upperst It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
John, Barry and Billy give your prizes from the big
Prize per Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 7 (07:40):
This should be a lot of fun when you're playing uppers.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
Have a urry up and guess time you have the
best time.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
You love a big shots.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Let's say, hey, the Dusty from Jacksonsville.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
North Carolina.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
We how we doing?
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Does that doing good?
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Buddy?
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Welcome to the big show.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Everything all right, yes, sir, good, alright, this shouldn't be
a problem for you.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Dusty.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
The record so far this year for three categories five
point three seconds. I'll just be keeping up if you
can beat that, no pressure. You get five seconds per category.
Are you familiar with the rules? Any questions before we start, sir?
All right, but let's do it. Three presidents, Ready, go Washington,
(08:39):
Bush and Bush three point zero second.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Now we need three guns.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Ready, goll be begun, a rifling, a nine meal. Well
that's over four, okay, over five point three.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
I'm gonna quit worrying about it. Now for the wind
three comic strips, ready, go in a back wood and
all flashboarding.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Alright, and that worn't any legs and that man made mail. Dusty,
you got that one hundred dollars American Espresso GiB card
and uh we slide. They just sail one hundred dollars
on air. Have fun with it, Dusty.
Speaker 7 (09:28):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Offshr wheel, Hi, my man, hangout. It's part about the
hour time on the top of your news all right,
ooh bhil McCracken come out right, uh part time reception
as in the studio in minute saga, good.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Morning, A big show is on the radio. All right, Yeah,
I don't want to peak too early.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Man. Man, that was feeling good, and I found out
I'm worth more to Billy dead than live.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
Really, he's giving everybody a heart. I can't believe that.
Speaker 7 (10:41):
And nobody starts getting on him about it, about how
he works twenty.
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Four hours a week and stuff like that.
Speaker 7 (10:46):
I said, y'all please, I have an insurance policy on him.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
He's worth more to me dead than a light. And
I don't talk to him.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Not that that's right. Well, he has got the story
about me.
Speaker 8 (10:56):
He was going to take a nap at some well
rough spot in town, but I mean here in the beach,
just to punish us.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Yeah, sometime I kill me and I ain't taking my gun,
and I said you better not stop and sleep on
the side of the road. Yeah, I don't care, I said, yes,
we do. And Randy said, well I don't.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
And it got ugly from there.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, I'm more word Billy didn't lie. And look he
don't treat me like that.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
He said about.
Speaker 8 (11:27):
For just a second, my head it flashing him. Popular
Morning DJ killed in assault. Producer said he had it.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Come in.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
One of those wild West things. He needed to kill it.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Partner said, great, I'm rich, so you're right we don't care. Yeah, right, good,
Now we got that. Say, don't you feel better? I
do good?
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Friday morning, you got the big show on the radio.
He Now, let's welcome in the studio. Phil m'crackn oh.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
Happy new year, old you semi conscious, hasty, another year
flushed down the beamus and a brand new three hundred
and sixty five days a hell are ahead of us.
All we can do is hold on tight, squeeze our cheeks,
and pray we make it to the other end without
prairie dogging.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
But during the interim, but get it I through that.
Speaker 5 (12:43):
But during the interim, there are little things we can
all do to improve ourselves during our journey down life's
dirt road. Every year, at this time, most of us
make some sort of half hearted attempt to do just that.
They're called New Year's resolutions, and since you big show breeders,
they're obviously too lazy to come up.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
With your own.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Here, I come to say, the day gets who gets
the first turn in the barrel? Marcy, Marcy with the
shrinking Arcie. Now that she's well on her way to spelthood,
it's time to abandon your husband's wardrobe and start dressing
like the sexy little vixen you are. Goodbye sweatshirt, Hello,
(13:25):
cleave us.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
The old saying is.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
If you got it flawted, and since the brains aren't
your long suit, you better get to flawn in that sister,
your resolution, tramp it up a little, Let do that top,
But let those things breathe a little, lest we forget
our dear Jackie. Now, I know what I want to say,
(13:52):
but I'm struggling for a way to say it that
is not misconstrued as a racial comment. So how about
this try acting? Oh, shall we say les's white? I
believe the problem is who you associate with You spend
more time with crackers than Campbell's soup. You are a strong,
(14:16):
proud black Cif top this top, start acting like it.
Your resolution, groove on your heritage. What roots this year?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Get a clue?
Speaker 5 (14:31):
Home, Smarty Marty, short and sweet your resolution sea cup
to bee cup boom roast Babs, My precious little angel.
Always remember that knowledge is power. And just because you're
not book smarts, there are always things that are vital
(14:57):
importance to know your resolution. Ask the tough questions in life,
like the guy's name before you take him home?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Or are you married? Or are you sure that's just
to rugbyurn? Just a suggestion?
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Love you, little Billy, You go, little little Billy, that's
fun to say, Like this top. When it comes to
slaving away in the comedy minds mayor Canary never die,
whatever the hell that but all work and no play
(15:36):
makes little Billy a dull boy. And the pale boy
you go home and hold up in front of the computer.
You never see the light to day, no offense, but
you turn it into a mushroom. I'm not saying you're pale,
but when you stand next to Marcy, she looks like
Snookie from Jersey.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
So your resolution, get some son Son.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
And finally, John Boy, the man who never fails the
eye test. I want to say my sentence. I don't
like it this way. I want my wah wah aye
ye ye yye. It's sound like a Mexican pool boy.
Your resolution left me more wee Oh who am I kidding?
(16:23):
Ready to put me up to that You're perfect, never changed,
so that maybe that shirt. How many days in a row?
Happy New Year, Hicks and Hiccat too many Cooper, carry
on straight people.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
The big shows on your radio. Coming up in minutes,
John Boy Jeff Andy will be played. Another winner will
be made playing for one of them. Out no hands,
skin cream prize packs, leave your cracks behind, askraut, no
hands your local pharmacy here, check it out at the
Big Show dot com. All right, let's see some sef
Here's an email Caman Randy to us here at hey,
(17:22):
John Mobility, rested, Big Show Gang, faithful, incarcerated, Big Show
listener one of our captive audience, Douglas Crouch. I got
your letter, Doug. He wants to apply for and our
two John Boys entourage. Please forward me a copy of
the application form and any rules that I will need
to follow for applying for the position.
Speaker 7 (17:37):
Wait a minute, has he's he's in jail.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Yeah, he's in the Uh let's see the BIB Correctional
Facility in Print, Alabama.
Speaker 7 (17:47):
This is not good see because you know, if he's parole,
one of his conditions of parole is he won't be
able to associate with no an idiots.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Let's save a lot of time that way.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Please relate to the Big Show Gang that I love,
the show keeper, the good work Jackie. If you need
any assistance with any of the Big Show Gang, please
call me albeit your service.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I love you all.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Mean it all right? Uh, still have an audience here.
D H says like, oh, that was a letter he
wrote to Rayford two. I thought it was all this
when I read that for put it on Rayford's desk
and say, mom, blope about a million incarcerated people in
America right now?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Cool, we're number one. That's a bigger than any like corporation.
Speaker 8 (18:33):
So I don't know, I don't know, a lot of
them probably are from America.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Yeah, yeah, you think about all the great business minds
and stuff and labors and people in jail why don't
we like get them all together. I mean, you know,
get the ones that we can trust, come all together,
the inn with the let's get the line in prison
we can trust.
Speaker 7 (18:51):
Yeah, yeah, the guy from on Ron and Lex Luthor,
you old, get.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Them all together. Why don't you just bust out the
joker the river. That's what we need. You're on something here, John,
and we'll get them all capes.
Speaker 7 (19:06):
All right, Get ready, We're gonna have a giant ray
gun here in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 5 (19:10):
All right, because you know when they say trying to
change my ways, Waring, you know you can trust them.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Let's get kill at the bill.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
Yeah, it's time you harden in or out.
Speaker 4 (19:28):
She's out right now. I haven't heard anything this morning.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
You don't want her anymore, do you. She's not in jail,
but she still could be in jail, so that makes
her man.
Speaker 9 (19:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
We all just don't dismiss this idea. It might be
something in there. I know it's wrong, but I'm an idea, man.
I'm with you.
Speaker 7 (19:45):
Oh yeah, why we could get one million dollars?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Oh all right? You all finished mocking me?
Speaker 4 (19:59):
That depends are you finished talking?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Good morning? The big shows on your radio?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
All right? Did let's play this John Boy Jeopardy thing.
I told you about outdoor Hands skin cream prize. But
I gotta take care of you old cracks. All right, Well,
here we go today's John Boy Jeopardy question. Illinois is
the only state in America that allows motorists to pay
toll booth fares using these.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
What is a warning shot?
Speaker 3 (20:35):
No?
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Wait that they use that in Detroit too?
Speaker 1 (20:37):
It no, what do y'all think?
Speaker 3 (20:40):
One eight hundred? Big show? You told free line? We
go to we get a winter, We play John Boy
Jeopardy next, Good morning to make show us.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
On the radio.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
It's time?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah, who live across aerca?
Speaker 7 (21:15):
You are one Boy Jeopardy right now a man who
once tried to pay a toll with a Friday shout
out on Jeopardy.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
We should know if it worked in about old ten
minutes pee. He's John Moore.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
And we got James first. Up, James out of Anderson, Georgia.
How are you today, James er?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
I'm doing fine, but how about.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
You doing real? Good man? Welcome to John boyd Jeopardy. Alrighty,
Illinois the only state in America that allows motorists to
pay toll booth fares using these.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
I think it's pennies.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
You think it's pennies, Well show us some pennies.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Look at your thinking, right.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
I would like to give a shout out to span
Cornpuckle who was working the mooth James Colgate pud pack
Man's pride to pack tip tip. That's all yours, buddy,
Congratulations without out nor hands skinned cream prize pack. Jackie's
gonna get your address. Hopefully the correct one should be
(22:24):
arriving at your house and Anderson in no time at all. Oh,
thank you morning, the Big Shows all Radio. My daily
(22:51):
harassing phone call from Hunter's Creek Kennels where my dogs
are vacationing.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Yeah, I wonder what causes the harassing call.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
Been there for a year, I've been there just a
couple of weeks, yeah, I a couple of weeks for
the summer camp.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
And making you like an ash tray and.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
Vacation Bible school.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Good Yeah, I know, stopped by the seating boys do
missing dogs. Just been so busy.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
You gotta find remember, find something to do with summer
that you do and then quit it.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
So you're looking at that for my dollars. Man, Oh,
yesterday when I called you, well, let me tell you
this story like this.
Speaker 8 (23:37):
Now, we've got people in from the corporate office right
to have meetings all day. But anyway, so we were
talking about all the new features and all this kind
of stuff and things that we need to do, and
covering some important business in the phone rings and my
phone's on vibrate. But I glanced at it and I
see it says John Boy call. I said, well, you know,
he's got this new boat and he's you know, do
you'll mind if I just take this call right quick.
It's probably important. He knows I'm going to be in
(23:58):
a meeting, so he wouldn't be bothered me.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Otherwise.
Speaker 4 (24:00):
They said, hey, it's us.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
No, no, no, go ahead, please take a call.
Speaker 8 (24:04):
So I asked the phone and I'm you know, if
I tell you John Boys party, it'll spoil the story.
But you just imagine the way he talks to me, okay,
And I'm trying to be professional. Oh hey, yeah, yeah,
good to hear from you, John Boy. Yeah yeah, yeah,
I can take care of that. Sure, uh huh. Specifically
I needed well, let me let me call you back
on that in a bit. All right, all right, did
(24:25):
you did you try jiggling the handle? And the meeting
stopped and they all looked at me. Well, sometimes the
chain comes loose from the the thing to the flapper,
you know, so I can. Yes, I'll come by after
work and take So he interrupted my meeting and humiliate me.
(24:48):
He really heated me. At the same time.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Part of the conversation on his side was stupid stanpid
like that?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Why, yes, yes, going to help you with that? Oh, hey,
John boy, step it step stupid flush? Stupid from fixing?
What tell me what to do? Well, sure I could
take care of that just after work. It wouldn't meeting problem. Yeah,
sure I can get on no stupid problem and flush. Well,
I mean I could.
Speaker 8 (25:20):
I don't really want to take specifically, Well, sometimes that
the chain comes loose from the flapper.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Did you you jiggle the handle? Yes, that handle, stupid toilet.
I went by and fixed the toilet. Thank you, You're welcome.
If he could flush, he'd be right in with.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Holly. Had to do was take what five ten steps
and there was probably another bathroom.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
This house has more toilets, and then it has bedroom.
Speaker 7 (25:51):
No, they're awful, and the dogs are going, and you
wonder why we don't want to go home?
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Good Friday morning. Got a big show on the radio,
and he looked like you already died.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Alright, it is Jaggy ready back there, baby, Alright, I
don't SE's nobody talking with me.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I guess that's good numb and action.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Pistol
Packing Myrtle. As our story opens, Myrtle Bethid has just
been pulled over by a city police officer.
Speaker 5 (26:59):
Afternoon officer, Afternoon, ma'am, al I see your license and registration?
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Please for sure things, Sonny, Hold on just a second.
I got him in here in my purse, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Is that a gun in your purse?
Speaker 9 (27:14):
Yes, sir, it's a Darringer thirty two magnum. It's a
two shot over and under.
Speaker 6 (27:20):
I love the small size. It don't take up half
my purse like some of my other guns.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Do you have other guns in the car with you?
Speaker 7 (27:29):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Do well?
Speaker 9 (27:31):
Under the seat here, I got a chrome plate at
Smith and Wesson forty five.
Speaker 6 (27:35):
Ain't she abuse?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Whoa whoa? Yes, very nice? Suh. Anything else I should
know about?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (27:41):
In the glove box is a glock nine millimeter, you know,
for a bunch of euro trash.
Speaker 9 (27:46):
Them Austrians make pretty donk one good stuff. And in
the trunk I got a Remington eight eighty seven short gun.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
It's the nitromag from mayag Hunt that the tactical version.
Speaker 9 (28:03):
Love coursh anything else, No, No, I think that's everything, ma'am.
Speaker 5 (28:09):
I assume you have permits for all of these good
so uh are you on your way home from a
gun show?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
No, sir, the target range.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
No, sir, just making a quick run to the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Ma'am. You mean you carry all these weapons with you.
Speaker 6 (28:26):
All the time, Yes, sir, pretty much, if.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
You don't mind my asking, ma'am, what in the world
are you afraid of?
Speaker 6 (28:32):
Not a dead gump thing, Sonny, not a dead gump sign.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
And that human head in the backseat somebody.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
You know, tude it again next time?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Over here.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
The krusty old manager at m O World say, hey,
big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Morning. The Big show is on the radio. How you'll
doing all right? I don't know what tickled him so much.
I was just done him up. Oh no, you gotta
you gotta do the.
Speaker 8 (29:25):
Setup and Jackie'll backmamp on this with the room's just
kind of quiet. We're just talking amongst ourselves.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
And then out of.
Speaker 8 (29:31):
Nowhere, from no relation to anything anybody's saying, came this comment.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
From John Boyd. I said, I said our cooking Tricklada
day Jurner. Yeah, done it right, step out the way.
I started cooking this day at three o'clock. I served
at seven. I don't need anything else crack.
Speaker 4 (29:57):
Slaving over a hot stool, believe over.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I had the kids out all day. I don't need
y'all's crap. Y'all want to try it? Oh yeah, I got.
I started cutting yesterday three serve seven, third over hot
y'all to try. Now, you can't do it right, and
you're the guy that did it.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
What was that?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
It's just that it came from nowhere. Yeah, he's on
edge this morning. No, he's over the edge.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
We mean you imagine, say that's what tell my wife
all the time. Man ain't no way would have made
it back in the olden days. How about my grandmama.
My grandmama had eight children. One was what my mama
tohow started cooking. Stay in the kitchen all day. First
you had to go get the wood fire to wood stove,
cook breakfast, get a body breakfast, get everybody out working.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Then you have lunch. You make a little lunch.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
While you're making supper, you know, because you got to
cook all day to make supper to feed eight kids
and mama and a daddy.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So that's ten people you cook for supper. I mean
i'm talking about the big supper. I'm talking about vegetables
out of the garden.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
Did you throw that? I don't need your crap on
the end of it is your grandma.
Speaker 9 (31:00):
I need it.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I gotta eat. Yeah, And now what did your grandfather do?
Grandfather was electrician. He was a captain of the fire department,
and that was back before electricity, So I don't know job.
Speaker 8 (31:12):
Now, how would you have made it being your grandfather
having to get out there and work work?
Speaker 6 (31:18):
Was that?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Now you can't compare apples oranges? You just did it
to your water. Now I'm talking about she's got a
family feed. I mean, I'm the I'm the hunter and gatherer.
All right, this was man d we hunting. We gathered.
Now what did and then uh, and the woman is
the nester. What do you call it? Nurture? Thank you, Jackie,
(31:39):
y'all nurturers, wan't y'all nurture.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
I just found out that you were supposed to do
this cooking Saturday and Sunday and didn't, so you got
backed in the corner from those people.
Speaker 7 (31:52):
He's covered up.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
He was out hunting and gathering. It takes quite a
while to hunt down these chicken wings. Okay, are we done?
You're whining about, oh, you had to cook his turn au.
We'll start. Let's all pull ourselves together, starting right now. Okay, ready,
(32:14):
go
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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