Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Good morning. You got the big shoe on the radio.
More chances for you the wind coming up after your.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
News weathers mart Hey, yeah, this is your old pals,
you stein La Black when I'm not mooching some of
that fine Jacques Danielle Whiskey and I play the right
fine gumbo off my best friend Woodrow Boodro and that
sassy sack of wife and his on Lizbeth.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm listening to those.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Tool wacky Cajun John Boy and Philly right there on
that there big show.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Woe.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
There's funny I GARYL. Pete coming out on big shows
(01:12):
on the radio, medd nothing to you on July the
sixth weekend? Oh all, y'all been all. What we're doing
back working there in July the fourth week? Hu's and
George's keddling our vacation yet, who's that sure idiot? Hey, Hey,
happen July fifth? Everybody? Hope y'all had a good fourth
(01:37):
We sure did, right? Yeah? Did you blow anything up
off court? Look at me?
Speaker 5 (01:47):
I miss the fireworks display at Cato Farm. That was
always the best because they would fight with firewall.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Yeah, like Elvis used to do.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
With the Roman candles.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Worse like eighties at each other. Wo oh yeah. And
old Bobby, this guy we used always pick on. He
got him a brand new car. He was so proud
of that. We threw a smoke bomb under it and
then tied something to wrap to his axle so we
didn't take off him. Been thinking the big noise and
smoking happy forth.
Speaker 6 (02:21):
Yeah, five years ago.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
See, we will celebrate the fifth today, all right, Ford
with fifth? It is National Hawaii Day. Hawaii, Ye, the
fifteenth state. All right, Hawaii. He rounded us out. Okay,
National Apple Turnover Day, National Graham Cracker Day. I followed
myself a Graham Cracker. See I'm from Graham. Uh huh okay,
(02:50):
National bikini Day. Looking at it's okay. There's a National
Workaholics Day. Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
We didn't take the day off now to balance.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Our work and home life, right work a hall. Yeah, well, Tayter,
you did a good job working on the fourth baven.
I don't give you enough credit for anything around here.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Yeah, I watch it.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
He was great.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
I had a key to the snack closet.
Speaker 6 (03:24):
It was awesome.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Hey man, Barry's supposed to be loaning that.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Key, don't you shush?
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Who said he loaned, Yeah, we're all good. We got
three days in history saved up. We'll use those from category.
Get our first prize back out and get that winning
begin it. Big Show is on the radio. Good morning,
Big Show's on the radio. First prize pack we played
(03:51):
for today about our friend from mount Olive Pickles. We
have more than one friend at the beautiful mount Olive,
North Carolina. There for our Raleigh. We got you a
mount Olive hat, T shirt and a three back of
Pickle Juicers. It's the number one pickle brand in the US,
making great products since nineteen twenty six. At the corner
(04:13):
of Cucumber and vine. Hit the Big Show dot com.
Click on amount out of Pickles, mount and more info.
Listen up right here and win the hold package. So
it was nineteen ninety one. After three years of restoration,
a new law was imposed on the opening of the
Trivia fountain in Rome, banning the throwing of coins into
(04:37):
the fountain. Must have damaged the fountain with all those
coins in there, huh yeah right. Up to twenty sixteen,
fb I released a report stating Hillary Clinton was extremely
careless handling classified emails, but doesn't recommend prosecution. Yeah, they
were scared of her. Sh said she might kill us.
(05:04):
While I was on this date. In twenty seventeen, the
followers of Indian spiritual leader Oshtoushi.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Maha Raha nice.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
One of the case to keep his body in a
freezer in case he should return to life. Yeah, and
he had died three years earlier. Okay, so the followers
was trying to get the freezer old Maharashi Hashi, and
they made people quit throwing coins in the freezerstanding well,
there's our categories one eight hundred big shows you told
(05:37):
free line across America. We play Outbirds next. Good morning,
(06:06):
It's a big show on the radio, running through your Friday.
Speaker 7 (06:09):
You love it.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I out Today's reach your track from the Big Show,
Big Box, Chris Rocks, Marmad, Cracker Barrel, Robin Webbs are
looking at it, Chars where gua words, Cracker Barrel and
the Big Box at the Big Show. I got up yet?
Now Uppers, Let's play Uppers. It's the game that anyone
(06:33):
can win.
Speaker 8 (06:35):
John Boy and Billy give you prizes from the Big
Prize Ber. Let's go contested number one. This should be
a lot of fun when you're playing uppers. Have a
hurry up and guest. Time you love the best time
you love a big shots.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Let's say had a random from Chataugah.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Can I say.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Good mornin ran Dad, Hello, John boy crew. Nothing like it.
But oh man, glad you made it in here. Randy.
Let's get you through these three categories. Get you some
mount Olive pickles, keep you cool the summer, yes, sir,
But if five seconds, give us three places you see
(07:33):
a fountain, ready go, pond, a lake, and in front
of businesses. All right, Now, give us three people you
get emails from, ready to go.
Speaker 9 (07:48):
My boss, my friends, and my doctors.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Okay, and give us three things you keep in the freezer,
ready go.
Speaker 7 (07:59):
Ice cream, ice cubes and meat.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I think we found out a lot about Randy forgot.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
That's all good.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
That's Randy.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
You got.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
The Fickles prize bag. All right, my boy? You hang
on Jack, you hook you up.
Speaker 7 (08:21):
Thank you, sir, Hope y'all have a blessed day.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I got you, my boy. Why the many hours top
of you? This the upper side call on happy boys,
cause it is riding. Yeah morning, it's a big show
(09:16):
on the radio. It is Friday's July. It we are
happy boys.
Speaker 9 (09:29):
I was walking down the street on a sunny day.
Bubba feeling in my bone, says, I have my weed.
Bubble hubb Oh, Ima have to be boys. I'ma have
to be boys. Oh we did good when things are
going here? We Hey, Hey, my little.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Box pot got hit by a car.
Speaker 9 (09:47):
Bubble Hubbub but his guns in the box and put
him in a drawerubb Oh, i'mna have to be boy.
Oh i'mapp to be boy.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Oh good when things are going here?
Speaker 9 (09:58):
We hey, Oh, for God, all about it for a
month and a half. Hubbubbo I looked into the drawer
(10:20):
and started to laugh because I might have to be boy.
I'm a have beat boy. Oh, w did good when
things are going her way?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Hey, hey, good morning. It's a big show on the radio. Well,
(11:04):
from time to time we have the honor of being
visited by a true legend of the silver screen. Please
join us in welcoming, Sir Alan Swat.
Speaker 10 (11:14):
I've found your last doctor, Pretorious, I've searched the world
for you.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Hand over that immortality serum and I'll let you leave.
Speaker 10 (11:27):
Is me, John Boy, Dear God, a fate worse than death,
you poor bastard pretorium. Lister's why as John Boy, you're
on the big show. Oh so I am senor Boomberatelle.
I was under the impression we were going to the
health facility.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Health facility is everything? Okay?
Speaker 7 (11:48):
Right? Is rain?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
My lad?
Speaker 6 (11:49):
You'll see I go to a specialist in long life?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Well, must be working. You look great man. Well, what's
the secret to long life? Well?
Speaker 10 (11:57):
I discovered the secret years ago. The answer is surprisingly simple.
What is I lie about my age? No matter where
I've traveled, someone has always had a secret to long life.
When I was shooting hot lead in Amarillo, there was
an old woman who worked catering. She told me an
old cowboy actor told her that the secret to long
(12:19):
life was putting a pinch of gunpowder in her oatmeal
every morning.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Wow does that work?
Speaker 7 (12:24):
Well?
Speaker 10 (12:25):
She lived to me one hundred and three. She left
behind fourteen children, thirty grandchildren, forty five great grandchildren, twenty
five great great grandchildren, and a forty foot hole where
the crematorium used to be.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
The boom goes Annamite. What a way to go?
Speaker 7 (12:42):
Are?
Speaker 6 (12:43):
The secrets of longevity are elusive?
Speaker 4 (12:45):
To be sure?
Speaker 10 (12:45):
I asked my grandmother well into a nineties what her
secret was to long life. She said, I'm just waiting
until I can afford the burial.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
You gotta have principles. Indeed, so what do you think
the secret is.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
John Boy, Let's examine the facts.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Selly.
Speaker 10 (13:02):
German billionaire Klaus Olbrecht used to play golf a lot.
He owned a private club because he loved it so much,
and played sometimes four times a day. Lived to ninety four,
he did. American investor Krekorian also loved sports. In his eighties,
he was rated the top three tennis player in his
age bracket. He lived to ninety eight. Warren Buffett also
(13:25):
enjoys sports all his life, including golf in his nineties.
Now you see the secret to a long life stay active? No,
my ball capped, young friend be rich makes it now
if you'll allow me, I'll bid you a jewel signor
Boombchelly and I are off to the offices of doctor
Vinnie Boombots.
Speaker 7 (13:46):
Is he rich?
Speaker 4 (13:46):
No idea, but his nurse is hot and there's a
bar in the office.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Ladies and gentlemen. Sir Alan Swan, the world's greatest actor actor.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
Damn you i' my movie star.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Good morning, you got a Big Show on the radio,
more chances for you to win.
Speaker 11 (14:05):
Coming up after your news Wedtherings parts. I stand on
the hill, but not for a thrill, for the breath
of a fresh keell. And never mind the man who
contemplates doing away with license plates. He stands alone anyhow,
Bacon the cookies of discontent, by the heat of the
(14:27):
lounder Man family leaving this soul.
Speaker 12 (14:32):
And then like in portraygo dot dot dot, you know,
kind of host set up leaving his soul, parting the
waters of the medulla. Oblong Goha with John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show like that one, John Boy,
(15:25):
Good Morning.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Big Shows on the radio. Come No, Doug Rice is
who we were talking about. We move some things around
this week with the fourth meon yesterday Man on Track
with Doug rise all Things Nashgar to review the race
last weekend in Nashville. I got some stufftail Doug about that.
Here you go Chicago Street Course coming up this weekend. Oh,
(15:48):
Doug joins us minutes from right now. Fill up those
minutes with a bonus top ten list.
Speaker 13 (15:54):
Today's Big Show Top ten list the top ten things
you might hear during sex or while shopping for furniture
at Ikea, and here they come. Number ten. Look, honey,
it wipes clean with a damp cloth. Number nine sounds
a tad pricey for what you get. Number eight, Gee,
(16:19):
this package is kind of dinged up.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Number seven.
Speaker 13 (16:24):
I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't think that's
real wood. Number six, man, it looked a lot bigger
on the website. Number five. Sit on it and see
if it'll hold it. Number four, Trust me, that is
not made to fit into this.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Number three.
Speaker 13 (16:50):
I think we're gonna need at least one more guy
to help us out here. Number two, who wants meatballs?
And the number one thing you hear at Ikea or
in the bedroom. I've had all this fun I can stand.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
How do I get out of here? Good Morning, Big
shows on the radio coming up? We played John Boyd
Jeopardy before they had one hundred and twenty dollars worth
of bulls not cleaning products for right now, A new
(17:25):
time here, move things around. Since the fourth fell on
a Thursday, we usually catch up with our man from
the Performance Racing Network on his victory lap year before
he retires after thirty six years covering this sport like
no other not like no other sport, no other man.
He's Doug Rice. Good more than Doug.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
That's a lot to digest. Good morning, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Doug by bo Okay, we're gonna talk about Nashville. I
just gotta thank you at the end of these reports. Oh,
by the way, a new slot here, a new audience.
So this is Doug Rice. You can hear them every Thursday,
eight ten Eastern. Usually here way would do it. But
now I always ask you give me a couple of drivers.
If the track we're getting ready to race during the
(18:09):
street course in Chicago this week, and we'll find out
about it. But you gave me Ross, Chastain and Chase Briscoe.
I put two bucks, two bucks on Ross, two bucks
on Chase. And at the end of the race there
it was man Ross was leading, got wrecked out. That
could have made me fifty seven dollars on that two dollars.
(18:29):
And then I look up Chase Briscoe. I said, honey,
come here. I's talking to my wife. Honey, come here.
Doug gave me this other if he wins, If Chase
can win this race in the like the fourth overtime
start one lap, I would have won two hundred and
twenty dollars off a two dollar bed. Is there? Wonderful?
But I lost? Well, thanks for coming, Doug. I guess
(18:53):
we'll talk to you next week on Thursday.
Speaker 6 (18:56):
For people in the new time slot. I guess I've
officially become a John funnel of information for NASCAR gambling.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Well, I know you can't do that. It's like, you know,
we tell guys in sports you cannot gamble on your
sport that you are entwined in. Is that does that true? Doug?
Speaker 6 (19:14):
And it is for us we can't. I can when
we go to Vegas. I can wager on NFL and
college football all day long. But they they frown us,
frown on us betting on sports that we cover. I gotcha,
So don't do that.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I'll do it for you.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
Yeah, but you know by proxy, by the fact that
you're a media member.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Now that's right, all right, Well I'm done.
Speaker 6 (19:41):
You keep throwing those big bets down, John Boyn.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah, that's right. They're gonna kick you out of the
Hall of Fame if everybody does that. Do not bet
any more than you can afford to lose, because most
of the time you will lose when you gamble yeah, yeah,
that's the truth.
Speaker 6 (19:58):
What are we doing here. We're doing a p s
A for the robin gambling, gambling and for the new audience.
We usually are about done by night.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Logano wins his first of the year.
Speaker 6 (20:16):
He needed that because he was the guy that was
on the bubble. He was number sixteen and if he
had had a bad day, he could have fallen below
the cut line. He didn't. He won. He's in the
playoffs now we have five slots open for people to
get in beyond points. Incredible race at Nashville Superspeedway. They
went through a bad weather delay and after the weather delay,
(20:38):
the racing just got awesome. At the end, we had
five overtimes and you thought that people were running out
of gas. Denny ran out of gas. Kyle Larson ran
out of gas on the restart, which wrecked out Kyle
Bush because Larson never got going, and Kyle Busch, poor guy,
didn't have anywhere to go, so he crashed out. I
thought Chastain was gonna win it for a while. He
(21:00):
was in a crash and at five different overtimes, and
then Joey Logano finally won the thing, So good on him.
An exciting race, another sold out racetrack. They announced to
sell out that morning, and those are encouraging signs for
our sport. I really like that.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
That is the truth. It really is. So yeah, say
Kyle Busch, Well, he is struggling.
Speaker 6 (21:22):
He is struggling, and at Nashville Super Speedway, he had
a really good race car, ran in the top five
all day long, and then they fixed the problem on
the car. He even got his spots back after a
crash that it looked like he was going to restart
twenty eighth, and NASCAR made kind of a strange decision
to say no, even though he got passed, he wasn't
part of the wreck. We frozen and he restarted fourth.
(21:45):
But they actually hurt him because when he restarted fourth,
that's when Larceon ran out of gas and Kyle hit
the wall and it was another really bad day. I
think he said he's going to have to win a race.
We have seven races left in the regular season. He'll
have to win one of those. I feel like, if
he's going to make the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Who is the biggest name thug off the top of
your head that's not secured a spot in the playoffs.
Speaker 6 (22:06):
Show I've got to say, Kyle Busch. I mean, we
went down at the other day. Logano was going to
be it, and we talked about that in our pre
race coverage. But it's Kyle Busch, and I don't think
Bubba Wallace is going to make the playoffs. He had
a great opportunity until Logano went out and won, and
now that pushes him further down. It's going to be
(22:27):
tough for anybody below sixteen. Chase Briscoe might have a shot.
They're running really well, but to get in on points
now because there's a big gap between the sixteenth place
person and seventeen.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Oh right, Chicago street courses this weekend, b what's you
thinking about that.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
I've gotta love the guy that won the thing last
year and shocked everybody. Shane Van Gisbergen is maybe the
best road course racer we have. If it's not him,
this could be a good place for Chase Elliott to
pick up another win.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Okay, and he could use in the other one. Now
Scar's most popular driver. I'm making notes.
Speaker 6 (23:05):
We're in Chicago, so vote early in vote.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Off my dog. I have a great weekend, buddy, Thank
you so much. We'll catch up with you next week.
Speaker 6 (23:14):
All right, take care, guys, Thank you my boy.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
That Doug Rice one of the performers raising netword. Follow
him on Twitter at Riceman sixty one. All right, let's
play John BOYD Jeopardy. Let's jump right in here. Well
review will not yesterday's questions. We weren't here. Okay, good,
we are jumping right here here. I'll just arguing with
myself a little bit. Okay, all right, statistically speeching about
(23:37):
half of the people who buy one of these will
break or damage it within ten weeks.
Speaker 6 (23:43):
What's a hooker?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Why do you know that one ain't done it?
Speaker 7 (23:48):
Big?
Speaker 1 (23:48):
So you told free line. We played John BOYD Jeopardy. Next.
(24:16):
Good morning, it's a big Shawn the Radio rolling through
your Friday, July fifth. We got today's feature track for
the Big Show, Big Box, marm and Webster, Chris Rock's
Mama and Cracker Barrel. What are they doing together? There's
Ricky words Cracker Barrel. We get to the Big Box
half the Big Show dot Com and right now let's
(24:37):
play Yells live across America.
Speaker 14 (24:40):
It's John Boy Jeppanya, and now your host he puts
the John in John Deere, the boy in Lazy Boy
and the Cracker in Cracker Barrew.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
He's John Boy. Thank you, Rachel o' graham Cracker right here.
Let's say, hey the Tim, he's down in Oxford, Mississippi.
Good morning, Tim, morning John, Hey body, welcome. All right, Tim,
you got the first shot at John Boydjeopardy this morning.
So uh, let's look at it statistically speaking, about half
(25:16):
of the people who buy one of these will break
or damage it within ten weeks, and his knee would
probably be within ten days.
Speaker 9 (25:28):
But I'd say a cell phone.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Going with a cell phone right off the bat man,
I thought, you know I've dropped my well, of course
I have lost four in the Atlantic Ocean. Yeah, but
as far as not counting the ones you dropping the toilet, right, yeah, yeah, no,
(25:52):
we will tell that.
Speaker 5 (25:54):
You know, liquid damage used to be the number one
killer of cell phones, accidentally dropping it, most likely in
a toilet. But I've fixed a thousand cell phones and
they always say I dropped it in the mud puddle,
and of course I go, you mean the toilet. But
now because they've made waterproofing the cell phones a little
better than they were, it's now the fifth cause and
(26:16):
the leading cause now is dropping it out of your
hand onto a surface and at cracking the screen.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Over those cool protective covers. That's a waste of money,
is that right? Now? If you've got a case, that's
that's a great idea.
Speaker 5 (26:32):
Yeah, But the protective that's what I got right, Yeah, Yeah,
you have a case, a protective cover goes over the screen,
that's a complete waste of money. Nothing weak will protect
something strong. It's just you know, common way.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, all right, Well there he is. He knows what
he's talking about. Does he got me? Well tell him.
I'll tell you what, dar buddy. If you hang on, Jackie,
get your prize. Pect till you down Oxford that one
hundred dollars worth of bulls not cleaning products. Thank you, sir.
Speaker 9 (27:05):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
First time caller. All right, boy again, long time listener.
That's right, that's my boy. We're gonna jump out, catch
you up on your new We're gonna come back on
the other side, bag on the drug and not work
(27:27):
too hard. You stappen the playhouse. We lack one out
for you. All right, good morning, there's a big show
(28:06):
on the radio for your July of fifth. Who don't
want to work.
Speaker 7 (28:13):
And before eleven o'clock tonight.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Mister, you better find yourself another line of work.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
That's when sure, don't fix your fistil It's one hundred
and six miles to Chicago.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
We got a full tank of gas, half a pack
of cigarettes.
Speaker 9 (28:27):
It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 15 (28:30):
Hit it.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I hate work, I hate work. I hate work.
Speaker 4 (28:44):
I've been having a very bad day.
Speaker 16 (28:49):
Okay, I don't, don't, don't.
Speaker 7 (29:16):
Just just.
Speaker 9 (29:19):
She's gonna.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
Work work, work, work, work, work, work, work work.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
What are we gonna do?
Speaker 7 (29:43):
Man?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
We gotta get out of here. We just have a life.
Speaker 6 (29:46):
I mean, do you do anything like this freepy stuff?
Speaker 1 (29:49):
What do you do for fun?
Speaker 4 (29:51):
Oh no, we don't have fun.
Speaker 10 (29:52):
We just we just work.
Speaker 9 (29:53):
Here's here's our fun, right, work work work, work, work,
work work work work.
Speaker 15 (29:57):
Well, I realized my father makes a lot of money,
but you see he's not giving me any.
Speaker 7 (30:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Weekend Saturday Sunday the time between work and war work,
the time when you go out looking for happiness and
end up hunched over somewhere else's toilet.
Speaker 15 (30:10):
The weekend things are at their darkest.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Pal it's a brave man a party.
Speaker 8 (30:17):
All ideas will taste you as.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Cool buzz.
Speaker 7 (30:24):
I'm five.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Oh no, I am not today, I'm married. Check what work?
Speaker 7 (31:19):
What?
Speaker 9 (31:19):
What?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
What?
Speaker 15 (31:20):
What?
Speaker 7 (31:20):
What's what's work? Work?
Speaker 16 (31:22):
Work in studious?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Not
ready for drive time? Players right here, Action, Hello friends.
Speaker 10 (32:11):
Your old pal Birnburn here with another spleen splintering entry
of John Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode The Unforgivable Sin.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
As our story opens, Ricky b.
Speaker 10 (32:22):
Sharp returns home after a frustrating visits to his sister
in law's.
Speaker 7 (32:27):
But the.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
Low site at home? Where's the brown liquor?
Speaker 1 (32:33):
It's all poured in, all the taining.
Speaker 4 (32:36):
Skip the glass. Just give me a bottle and a straw.
Speaker 10 (32:39):
Oh, your damn sister is a chain smoking gap tooth,
you and a brown churrypicker.
Speaker 15 (32:46):
I'm sure it wasn't that bad of me. She always
has such nice things to say about you.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Roller stuff I do for her, and her did be
the husband? I'm sure she does, But the fact remains, hater.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
Uh, oh, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 10 (33:04):
Looks like someone crapped in your cocoa pebbles.
Speaker 15 (33:08):
Well, Ricky, I know this isn't a good time. For
this conversation, But there is something I need to tell you.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Oh boy, here we go. Okay, let's hear it. What now?
Speaker 10 (33:19):
Did you beat the bartender at arm wrestling again? No,
using the men room urinal at the high low end.
Speaker 15 (33:25):
No?
Speaker 10 (33:26):
Did you choke slam that little Korean gal for making
fun of your talons at the pedicure place. No, you
put shaving cream around your mouth and chase the neighbor kids.
Speaker 16 (33:35):
No.
Speaker 10 (33:36):
Oh wait, I know you got caught putting Maga bumper
stickers on cars at the community college again.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Lucy, how could I be mad about that?
Speaker 15 (33:43):
Oh, Ricky, I'm afraid this is bad. I mean really bad.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
I mean really really bad.
Speaker 6 (33:52):
Oh Lucy, huh Oh Lucy, No no no, no.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
No no no, Lucy, Please say it ain't so not bad.
Speaker 6 (34:02):
Hunh.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
I can't believe it.
Speaker 6 (34:03):
Almost believable.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
We have finally gone and violated your vows are love, honor,
and obey.
Speaker 10 (34:10):
You have gone and talked to it all over our
marriage license, and worst of all, you have destroyed my
career as Peter Rock.
Speaker 4 (34:20):
Watch folks find out.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
What you've been doing.
Speaker 6 (34:23):
My life is Doting's most beloved fast.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
We messed will be over I'll be a laughing stock.
Speaker 10 (34:30):
And then who takes over Dinky Dave's the donut hole
and Dinky Donuts a hole?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Why me, Lord, why me?
Speaker 15 (34:42):
Here are you dood huh ricky? None of that happened.
It's worse than that, much much worse. Oh no, yeah,
I told my sister and her husband we'd have dinner
with them.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
And how.
Speaker 6 (35:05):
We hope you've enjoyed John Bully and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
I'd rather a count thinky, Dave, I'm doing your top
two buttons.
Speaker 10 (35:14):
Tune in next time when we'll hear Lucy's chain smoking
gap tooth, you a brow cherry picker.
Speaker 6 (35:19):
Sister, say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar,
and the oscar goes.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
To Good morning. You got a big show on the radio,
more chance for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 3 (35:33):
But Mom, all I wanted to do was have a
let us sandwich on gluten bread, a tall glass of buttermilk,
and crawl under a bearskin rug. Why do I have
to listen to that John boy person and Billy whoever
on that noisy big show button?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Mama, good Friday morning. The big show is on your radio,
(36:31):
all right? We got something big coming up in a
few minutes. If y'all had to help me out, Remember
what was talking about it? I can't read my writing.
Remind me about it. Oh, we're on that.
Speaker 10 (36:40):
I know.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
We got beating the Blonde coming up. Our next contest.
Get a big old prize pack. Here it's Lord Tigers.
They got some cool swag for Lord Tigers. Motorcycle lawyers
who ride. We'll give you a cool hat, t shirt, tumbler,
a twenty five dollars gas card that'll fill up motorcycle,
ain't you Lord Tigers represent againjured rivers over two decades.
(37:03):
With Lord Tigers, you never ride along. Click on their
banner when you hit the Big Show dot com every
time you might figure out on the.
Speaker 13 (37:09):
Mayor of dismal Seepitch.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Oh the Mayor. That's right, special visit from the Mayor
head into this weekend after the fourth Nice good work,
take Tate. That's right, Joggali. We like the way he talked.
Mayor coming up, Big show rolls home, Good morning, got
a big show on the radio. You hang on the
Mayor standing by. Let me tell you about what you
(37:32):
can win if you can beat the blonde. How about
a hat t shirt, tumbler and a twenty five dollars
gas card from Law Tigers. Lawd Tigers motorcycle lawyers who
ride represent againjured rivers. Over two decades with Law Tigers,
you never ride along. There's always something exciting happening in
Dismal seep in South Carolina, and here to tell us
(37:53):
all about it, the mayor himself, the Honorable Merwin co
Fiddle Swoop. Good morning, mister mayor.
Speaker 7 (37:59):
Good morning and all your wonderful listeners.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
What you got on tapping this weekend? Mayor?
Speaker 7 (38:07):
Thanks for asking, John Boy. As you know, the good
folks here in Dismal Seepage are real Americans, and there's
nothing that real Americans like more than celebrating our freedoms,
you know, while we still have them. So I'm proud
to announce our big Dismal Seepage fifteenth Annual Independence and
(38:28):
it's happening this weekend.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Well, nothing says pure Americana like a good small town
Fourth or July festival.
Speaker 7 (38:36):
And how John Boy, and we're pulling out all the
stops on this one. The festival kicks off Saturday morning
with our Big America on parade down Main Street featuring
an all trombone marching band.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
That's kind of odd.
Speaker 7 (38:53):
Hold my beer, John Boy. All seventy six members are
dressed as steaks. They're called seventy six.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
T bones, like seventy six trombones from the Music Man.
Speaker 7 (39:07):
I don't know, I guess, But wait, there's more, John Boy.
We'll have special attractions all weekend long. We're bringing back
our most popular gimmicks from last year, the Amazing Patriot tag.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Something to do with a maze, I'm guessing.
Speaker 7 (39:22):
Oh, check out the big brain on John Boy. It's
a big corn maze and hidden in the maze are
several people dressed like red coats. They've all got a
big sign on their back that says kick me, so
folks can get a taste of the time. We put
the boots to King George and his goon Ah.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Sounds like he's gonna something to be your.
Speaker 7 (39:40):
Red coat getting all seventeen seventy six on the ass, Yo,
who can be topical? We've got a big special event
from the Galered Sartagine Art Academy called Color Me American.
Using only red, white and blue paint, our artists will
create the living works of patriotic arts on the glorious
(40:02):
canvas known as the Nude Human Body Models provided by
Chili Nips Gentlemen's Club, where It's so cold It's hot?
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Was this your idea?
Speaker 7 (40:13):
Mayor? Saturday Night is are Saturday Night is our big, big,
big Fight for Freedom event. It's pro wrestling and it's
most American wrestlers dressed as heroes taking on the great
villains of history.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
That's a great idea. So what's a card like?
Speaker 7 (40:31):
Well, George Washington takes on Mousey Ding Dong Dung. In
the opener, Ronald Reagan goes head to head with Uncle
Joe Stalin. The ladies are in action as Betsy Ross
and Eleanor Roosevelt face off in a tag team match
against Tokyo Rose and Matda Harry. And in the main event,
a steel cage match, the Donald takes on Carl Skid Marx.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
What's who am I talking about?
Speaker 7 (40:55):
And this just in, this has just been confirmed. The
President will make an appearent.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
The real president of the United States.
Speaker 7 (41:02):
Now Trump was already booked, but the Gang and Hollywood
Hijiek's Animatronics is bringing the next best thing, a lifelike
animatronic Joe Biden robot.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Wow, So how does it look?
Speaker 7 (41:18):
I'm telling you it's like the real thing. The vacant stare,
the incoherent mumbling, the stupid comments. You can even see
the hair plugs. The patrons will be able to pose
for a picture with it, but watch out. Get too
close and it'll sniff your hair. Creepy true, dad, my brother,
But I digress. Sunday night stick around for fireworks provided
by one thumb fit Finnegan Fireworks Extravagance alimited.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
It sounds like a slam pack weekend. Mayor well, not.
Speaker 7 (41:44):
To mention, I'll also be kicking off my next re
election campaign with all sorts of buttons and banners and
bumper stickers. Don't be a stoop, vote fiddle swoop. I
don't want to toot my own horn, but you know too.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
I had to ask, but is this whole weekend just
a fundraising scheme for your re election?
Speaker 7 (42:08):
So come on down. This is a fifty nst walk
in the padda this weekend. I'll see you all there.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
I'll be careful down there. Hey, let's beat the blonde.
Come on, who wants to play one eight hundred big show?
You told free line across America. We'll get a contestant
and play next