August 9, 2024 • 45 mins
Friday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ve got all your Friday favorites.. - Mr. Rhubarb has another early morning session of Carpool University Summer School.. - Hoyt and the boys scrub off the A Couple of Beers.. - John Boy & Marci re-enact some funny moments from real courtroom transcripts.. - The Not Ready for Drive-Time Players perform a very different Sound of Music.. - We get an update from Comedian Chad Daniels.. - John Boy gives away some more of his -um- “stuff” .. - Tom Sorensen fills us in on this week in sports.. - and we’ll wrap up the week with a couple of Big Show favorites from our BitBox..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the Ride
to the Red States. John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear
the Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm good, doodle, Wake up?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Good news?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Is Friday the better news? It's Saturday. Doing's gonna work?
But that med tater telling you that first thing tomorrow
morning right here talking about our weekend.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Girl's right, she's a week.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Sorry, my eyes are up here.
Speaker 6 (01:23):
So.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
August the Knight. Who who's my wedding anniversary?
Speaker 7 (01:28):
Man?
Speaker 5 (01:30):
That just hits you just now.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, seeing it on paper.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
It's a Friday too, the whole anniversary weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And you're talking about maybe the food genies out of flowers. No,
they restock on Thursday. I don't guess I can pull
off another John Boy and Billy grilling sauce package. She
stocked up on it like that. I don't know, the
vinegar based Eastern style barbecue sauce on everything. That's right?
(02:01):
All right, Well we'll we'll work on that a little later. Mainly, uh, hello, everybody.
Speaker 7 (02:06):
Hey, load to you say what national days were working,
then we're with National Veep Day, designated to give recognition
to the succession plan of the President of the United States.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh but high five on that. You know. I heard
somebody explaining, like, Kamala, like what you did with Biden
is is like what a woman does with a rich
guy when she marries him and and then she can
kill him and then like like you get all this
stuff and then you know, she feels like they earned it. Wait,
(02:41):
I got it, six am, and already the boy ain't right. Okay,
there's not a great analogy, you know, but look at
oh Biden, he's fine.
Speaker 8 (02:54):
No, I just with me.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I said, he's wonderful. No I gotta take over.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
And there's not any of like, oh gosh, you guys
were right. You didn't hear that. It was just like, hey,
this just didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
She was just like the biggest dupe as there was
until like she's you know there all right? Anyway, Well
this's weep Day, so y'all enjoyed. Man, let's let's have
fun with it. National Passion Fruit Day. What about that
National Rice Pudding Day?
Speaker 9 (03:28):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Then that make you happy pudding Day? I like rice pudding. Yeah, yeah,
it's you know, it's out of vogue.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I mean you never see it anywhere anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
No, that's true. But it's been a while. Well there's
rice pudding Day. Let's bring it back, all right.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
What you don't have a recipe for it?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh, that's right here us she told about this pudding day.
So here, just come this way, all right, Today's National
Book Lover's Day. That's a day for all those who
love to read books.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Your wife like to read. Out there might be a
gift idea.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, that's a good idea, that idea.
Speaker 10 (04:04):
Yeah, maybe one of those uh those hunting books that
you've been giving away.
Speaker 11 (04:09):
Got a case?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Cousins told truth about spring turkey tating.
Speaker 10 (04:14):
Oh yeah, all right, som getting her all set for Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Understand my husband.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
But let me say we got old here. There are
three days in history saved up. We'll get our first
prize pack out and get that winning beginning. Four chances
for you to win on the radio this morning, Big
Shows on the radio. Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
First prize, pick a Southern East Pets pack. You know
I all love our dogs. Now, if yours has anxiety
(04:42):
issues like during a thunderstorm. You gotta try the bacon
flavored pets CBD gummies from Southern East Pets here. My boy,
his dog did not like to ride in the car
and then come in handy for that. So anyway, Southerneast
Pets dot com you can find their link of The
Big Show dot com. If you use code JBB you
can get twenty percent off. Must be eighteen to win.
(05:04):
Let's get you set up our three days in history
our categories was nineteen ten. Alba J. Fisher of Chicago
patented the electric washing machine than a move up to
five and New York Radio station agreed to pay two
hundred and forty grand the state authorities after the station
(05:26):
sponsored Smackfest contest and once young women took turns slapping
each other for a chance to win concert tickets and cash.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Okay, and now that's a sport.
Speaker 11 (05:38):
Have you seen it on the dosh? It started in Russia.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
That's like Dana White's got it here in America the
same I put UFC on the map. Yeah, he said,
this is going to be bigger than UFC.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
My god, slapping I've seen before and after pictures. It's
amazing to see that.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
You should look up on YouTube some of the Russian events.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Uh huh brutal, I mean sell rude New York radio station.
Maybe go back and get the money back.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
They just work out one arm you know.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
All right? Well, finally was on this date in twenty seventeen,
a giant inflatable chicken resembling President Trump was placed outside
the White House as a political protest. And then it
looks pretty coolest cut his hand, think inflatable chickens.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I bet he liked it. I bet he went to
put off.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Somebody spent a lot of money having.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
All right, y'all, there's the categories one eight hundred big shows,
he told Free Line, come on and play out burst next.
(06:58):
Good morning, that's a big show. Ry to your early
Friday morning. We got today's feature track from the Big
Show Big Box, brought to you by Lord Tigers, where
they're building a custom Big Show motorcycle you can win.
Check it out at Big Show Bike dot Com. We
got the Reverend Billy reccollins atheist army chaplains. Gee, I
(07:19):
wonder what to reup thinks about that? He word army
in the Big Box. When you hit the Big Show dot.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Com, Upburst let's play upburst.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 12 (07:36):
John boy Billy, give the prizes from the big prize.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
B Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 13 (07:45):
This should be a lot of funs.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Win your playing upburst.
Speaker 12 (07:51):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you love the big shots.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Per say hey a you from diesel Town, Virgin morning, Matthew,
Good morning you, Hey, we're all doing good man. Welcome
in here. Alright, Matthew, very long.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
Time, long time listener, first time calling all Robert.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Let's move you boy, welcome, thank you welcome. All right, well,
let's pull ford and get you through these three categories
and get the big old Southern East pets back Matt
to you in five seconds. Three ways to clean your clothes.
Speaker 11 (08:39):
Ready, go.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
Washing machine, rock cleaner, and wash your doors in the sun.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And I like it, all right, Matt. Now we need
three things that require a ticket. Ready go.
Speaker 6 (08:56):
U rock concert, movie theater and Whiten airplanes.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
All right, all right, buddy, in for the wind. Three
barnyard animals ready to go.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
Caw chickens and horses.
Speaker 14 (09:14):
And alright, Matt, you were sending your prize up to
keysel Town jackun get your address.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
All righty much appreciate it. Can I have a shout out?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yes, I'd like to shout out. Why don't you give
us a shout out?
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Alrighty, I'd like to shout out to my wife, Leslie,
she's cuffer and I am and twice as sweet, all
my grandkids, and a big shout out to all the
team USA athletes that are representing over in France and
doing this prout well.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Awesome man, Matthew, you appreciate you and yours listening to
the Big Shoe all right, will jump out and catch
you up on your news. On the other side, mister
Rubard will prove summer school can be fun. Good morning
(10:48):
is a big.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Head into the weekend. Listen twenty minutes find out what's
playing in the big show, drive in theater, and right
now it's mister Rubar.
Speaker 15 (11:00):
Thank you, gimme the beat, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Hello.
Speaker 15 (11:08):
This is your vaguely unsettled old pal, mister Sunset.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Well sometimes are you three?
Speaker 15 (11:23):
I say that funny?
Speaker 11 (11:24):
Three?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Say it with me?
Speaker 6 (11:26):
Three?
Speaker 11 (11:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 15 (11:30):
This is mister Rubarb, welcoming you to mister Rubarb Summer
School clubhouse. Now, yay, I'm still looking for a gimmick
that works. We'll let you know during the school year.
It was carpeol University of I say, pul funny. So
we're giving both of us the summer off.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Did you know that.
Speaker 15 (11:51):
Today's subject is the stock market? The stock market is
a place where people like your mommy and daddy buy
and sell stocks. A stock is a little tiny piece
of a company. People buy it, hold on to it
for a while, then try to sell it to somebody
else for more than they paid for it. They call
(12:12):
it buy low, sell high a plan. This is a
lot harder than it sounds, especially if you buy during
something called a recession. That's what we've been having in
America for about the last three or four years. A
recession can make it really hard to make money in
the stock market. For example, if you bought one thousand
(12:35):
dollars worth of Delta Airline stock four years ago today,
it would be worth about forty nine dollars, which is
the opposite of buy low, sell high. If you bought
one thousand dollars worth of a company called AIG, it
would be worth about thirty three dollars, which is not
too good. If you bought one thousand dollars worth of
(12:59):
a company called Lehman Brothers. Today it would be worth
zero dollars, which is really.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Not too good.
Speaker 15 (13:08):
A lot of people who buy stocks also buy a
lot of something called beer.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
No wonder.
Speaker 15 (13:16):
Four years ago, if you bought one thousand dollars worth
of beer, drank it, and took the empty cans back
to the recycling place, Today you'd have almost two hundred dollars,
which beats the pants off those stock market things. So
if your mommy or daddy are having trouble in the
stock market, here's mister Rubarb's investment tip of the wheek.
Speaker 11 (13:40):
Buy beer.
Speaker 15 (13:43):
Speaking of beer, here's mister Rubarb's fun factoid of the day.
All of the walking the average person does in a
day adds up to about nine hundred miles a year,
and the average person drinks about twenty two gallons of
beer every year, which means the average person in America
gets forty one miles to the gallon. And with today's prices,
(14:10):
that's something we can.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
All be proud of us.
Speaker 11 (14:14):
Say you say?
Speaker 15 (14:17):
And that's it for this edition of Mister Rhubarb Summer
School Clubhouse.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Till next time.
Speaker 15 (14:23):
This is mister rhubarb saying, don't be a fool stay
in school unless you're already out for the summer, in
which case you'd be a fool to stay in school.
But just use your best judgment and remember kids, beer
is for grown ups only. Now sit down, shut up,
and quit running with a lot, John Boy and Billy
(14:46):
y'all have a nice day.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It's a big show on the radio for your Friday,
August nine. Oh right, see what's happening is a lot?
Speaker 8 (15:24):
Hello friends, you're old held Bert Bern here with some
exciting news. It's almost showtime at the Big Show Drive
in Theater. Only five dollars a car load. The drive
ins are driving the wild So load up the family
truster and come on down to the all new Big
Show Drive in Theater.
Speaker 11 (15:43):
This isn't the same old labeled.
Speaker 8 (15:45):
Washed up West Coast horse nuggets, crammed full of political
correctness and a hidden communist agenda. These are all new,
all exciting pictures with today's audiences in mind. Just listen
to this weekend's lineup. The world is about to explode.
The search for a new world begins. A crew of
Earth's last astronauts launched into the Great Unknown, only to
(16:06):
crash land on the Planet of Dirty Women. Watched the
old female denizens of the planet jug Toopia go hog
wild when they meet these vieral rocket jockies and seek
to repopulate their own planets. My day, Hanny, It's where Bam,
thank you, Spaceman Lon Tax The Planet of Dirty Equimen,
(16:30):
starring Joey Fatona's Captain Von Wiener, Joe Gatto as Wiener
von Captain, Tater Moran as Queen Hooderella, in a special
appearance by Terry Hanson as Poot Gibson, the flegerland Ship's
cook who's a bit of a wet.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Talker, and me here's a sprinkler on academic kill.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
Filmed in Glorious three Triple D. Also on the same bill,
a group of fret boys on the way to Bristol
for the Big Race end up in a race for
their life when they'd break down in front of the
House of one thousand jennif Corton fans. The tri County
(17:10):
Nicolsaber called it the New Deliverance. The Berkeley Village Rabbit
Varmu Currier called it the last peak house on the left.
You'll call it terrifying be warned no one will be
admitted during the climactic Cornhole Challenge finale OH one thousand
Jeff Gordon Fans, starring Justin Bieter as Biff, Justin Timberlake
(17:36):
as Buff, Justin Long as Boss, and Justin Trudeau as Priscilla,
Queen of the finger Lakes. Remember, friends, don't pack a
lunch or concession stand. Has a bunch at the Big
Show Drive in theater. We've got soda, cider, near beer,
far beer, ice water, tapwater, toilet water, popcorn, carmel, corn cream,
corn corner, the cop corn Off, the cop candy corn,
(17:58):
corn dogs, chili dogs, warmed dogs, hot dogs, hamburgers, spamburger's,
Chicken sandwich is Brave, sandwich is sliders, grinders, sidewinders, gyros, giros,
sugar coated quiros, cotton candy, rotten candy, ill gotten candy,
Junior Man's, Senior Man's Heart, Stints, finger splints, hits, six
dozen slightly disappointing oysters on the fshell left over from
the last time Colin Kaepernick actually played a game. Show
(18:22):
starts at dusk, Get there early and let the kids
go wild and the Captain Copperheads Surprise Ball thrawl.
Speaker 11 (18:29):
All masks are welcome.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
We're not worried about the virus. But we are located
between the wastewater treatment plant and the pig farm off
the State Long Parkway.
Speaker 13 (18:38):
God, what is that smell.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
That's a smell of desire, milady. God, it smells like
a used diaper filled with Indian food.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Oh excuse me?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
What is that?
Speaker 16 (18:48):
Smells like a turn covered in burnt hair?
Speaker 8 (18:51):
Right, and remember, friends, only five dollars a car load
and get one dollar off if you sing our jinkle, John.
Speaker 9 (18:59):
Boy, clap your head.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
There on the.
Speaker 11 (19:12):
So what are you waiting for?
Speaker 8 (19:13):
It's almost showtime at the Big Show drive in theater.
This is your old Palfert Fern.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
And I'll see you there. Good morning, there's a big
show on the radio. Hell are you Lindsey? Premise here?
Speaker 17 (19:34):
And when I'm on this side of the pond, I
get my daily dose of culture and edification every morning
from these two delightful lads, John Boy and Billy right
here on the Big Show. You know, I hate to
break it to you, boys, but where I come from,
you're all Yankees. Who will I thought it was funny?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Good morning, It's a big show on the radio. Celebrating
Friday as we all want to do as refuges to
say I've had a hundred boys for that Weekend's on.
Speaker 11 (20:40):
Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
The Junior nation Man.
Speaker 12 (20:42):
Would like to send this one out to one of
our primary influences in life, our good friend Bud Budweiser.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Bud listens for you and it goes.
Speaker 16 (20:54):
Exactly like this.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
It's nineteen seventy.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
We were living in the sticks.
Speaker 12 (21:02):
Trying hard to get our life in sucking gears. High
schools behind us in college couldn't find us. That's the
summer we discovered beer. Oh yeah, sounded just like that,
(21:26):
where we didn't have no money and we all looked
kind of funny. You light say our love life was
a dud, because it's heart to snagg acuty when you're sweaty,
hot and poody. But we always felt the love from
ice cold Bud. So we drank a couple of beers.
(21:47):
Then we drank a couple of beers, then we.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Drank a couple of course too long, we didn't do
much thinking. We was way too busy drinking. We just
kept on drinking beers all summer.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
Long, and.
Speaker 12 (22:12):
So we caught a bunch of bass, and we kicked a.
Speaker 11 (22:16):
Bunch of at the party until.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
We seen the breaking dawn.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
We hammered every nail.
Speaker 12 (22:24):
I can't believe we ain't in jail because we kept
on drinking beer all summer long.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
First we drank a couple of beers. Then we drank
a couple of beers, Then we drank a couple lord
for too long.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
We didn't do much thinking.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
We was way too busy drinking, drinking beers and beers
and beers.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
All summer long. Hey gersh step on.
Speaker 12 (22:56):
Up here, scrumbling off these ladies alright out.
Speaker 7 (23:37):
Now.
Speaker 12 (23:38):
Normally this is the part where our narrative tends to
start going south. But believe it or not, listen had
a happy issue. Now we was always hot and stink.
You got into some hank you, thank you you with
some old drunk gowns from now and around rock Hill.
We sat tall in the saddle and we gave them
(24:01):
quite a battle. I ain't forgot them, and we probably
never will.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
We drank a couple of beers, then we drank it
a couple of beers, and they matched us beer for.
Speaker 12 (24:15):
Beer the whole night long, and we all did double
duty and We finally ain't got some booty.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
They have all that drinking.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Beer all summer long.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Yeah, we drinking a couple of beers, then we drank
a couple of beers, then we.
Speaker 12 (24:33):
Drank a couple of more for too long.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
There ain't nothing like a woman.
Speaker 12 (24:39):
But if you don't see one coming, just wrapped your
arms around a couple of beers.
Speaker 16 (24:46):
Just rep your arms around a cup of beers. Just
wrap your arms around a cup of beers. Wrapped your
levan arms around a couple of beers.
Speaker 11 (25:00):
Come on.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Red nex.
Speaker 12 (25:23):
Ad, Hazard Bush.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Good Morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up. That
fish and Cycles prize pack will be won because we
go to we get a winner on John Boyd Jeopardy.
But right now the verdict is in Amusing court transcripts
make for some of the best humor on the Big
Show since Church bulletin bloopers. These lines were actually spoken
(25:54):
instead of written. They were spoken word for word in
a court of law.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
Now, sir, I'm sure you're an intelligent and honest man.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Thank you. If I weren't under oath, i'd returned the compliment.
Speaker 18 (26:09):
Doctor, How many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
All of them. The live ones put up too much
of a fight.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
The autopsy started around eight thirty pm.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
And mister Denton was dead at the time.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Well, if not, he was by the time I finished.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Then he told me? He says, I have to kill
you because you can identify me.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
Did he kill you?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
No?
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Was that the same nose you broke as a child.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I only have one you know.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Are you married?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
No, I'm divorced.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
And what did your wife do before you divorced her?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Well, a lot of things I didn't know about.
Speaker 18 (27:04):
And were you acquainted with the deceased? Yes, sir, before
or after he died? Uh?
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Why were you going before?
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Sorry, I didn't finish buck.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
What kind of court is this?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yes, yes, a lawyer.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Why were you going so fast in a residential zone.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Well, it's not my fault. The truck behind me was
tailgating me and making such a racket. I was just
trying to get away.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
What kind of truck was it?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
A fire truck?
Speaker 5 (27:44):
And next time, don't show up to court looking like
you're going to the beach.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
But I am going to the beach.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Are you sexually active.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
No, I just lie there and finally and accused defending
his own case. This is here, this is the high point.
Did you get a good look at my face when
I took your purse? That's a little.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Transcript in a corner log, Girl girl, I.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Told you Church bullet and Blueber's another gold mine. All right, Well,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Let's review yesterday's question found
out this animal has the largest mouth of all land mammals.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Is the hippopotamus?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Had? A fully grown male hippopotamus has an impressive four
foot gait. Today's John Boy Jeopardy. In seventeen seventy five,
while on a horseback ride with friends, Benjamin Franklin encountered
one of these, and while the others huddled in terror,
Franklin mounted his horse and chased after it for nearly
(28:59):
a mile, thinking that the cracking of his whip would
drive it away.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
What does a squirrel?
Speaker 11 (29:09):
Benji?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Was as easy? What y'all got? One? Eight hundred big
show you told free line across America. We play John
Boy Jepardy. Next, Good Morning, It's a big show on
(29:43):
the radio. Then fun on No Freaking Friday. Today's feature
track from the Big Show Big Box, Long Tigers Motorcycle
Lawyers who ride sponsoring because we got a custom Big
Show motorcycle. You can register to win at Big Show
o Bike dot com. I track today is Reverend Billy
(30:04):
Ray atheist Army chaplains to the word on that with
a keyword army. Here's a big box at the Big
Show dot.
Speaker 19 (30:11):
Comy right now, let's fla yes live across America. It's
John Boy Jeopany and now your host. He wants chased
after a rabbid raccoon in his pickup truck while he
was shooting it with his left hand full.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Nine shots later, we helped him change attire. It was fine.
Speaker 11 (30:31):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
I were working in true experiences, happily and trove. That's
all except shooting the time.
Speaker 10 (30:40):
I know, but you know, you know the rabbid raccoon
getting away wasn't funny.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Well let's go to Jimmy who and shooting some stuff
down Sparkleberry Swamp outside of Sumter, South Carolina. Good morning, Jimmy,
Good morning.
Speaker 12 (30:57):
So that means you've been down to Sparkle Bay.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Have buddy, what about you close?
Speaker 12 (31:04):
I'm probably eight miles from there, do a lot of fishing, do.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
A little gator hunting.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
A little bit of duck hutting.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Awesome, Jimmy, sounded like you were one of my brothers
from another mother down there on the same page. Hey
you buddy, We're glad you got in here. Jimmy. Let's
see what you got. First shot at it this morning,
So this is kind of weird. Seventeen seventy five, while
riding with friends on the horsey, Benjamin Franklin encountered one
(31:30):
of these, So the others huddled in terror. Maybe that's
a little hint. Franklin mounted his horse and chased after
it for nearly a mile, thinking that the cracking of
his whip would drive it away. What could that be, Jimmy,
I think it was a black bear? Black bear, let's
(31:51):
just go any color of bear?
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Old god, Oh, man, I know you go.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
You're goa say what when you hear the answer? Man,
you are going you listen there, Jimmy, we appreciate you, buddy.
All right, A great damn all right? Man, all right,
all right, get up.
Speaker 11 (32:13):
Here you go now we're talking.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Let's go to David. He's up in Stanton, Virginia. Good morning, David,
Good morning, Hey buddy, all right, you're up. We know
it wasn't a bear that Benjamin Franklin was chasing away,
And maybe it's just on another You remember what Benjamin
Franklin's famous for. So okay, I don't believe it was
(32:40):
any animal at all.
Speaker 6 (32:41):
I believe he was chasing a tornado.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Chasing a tornado, man, that's a big hit. I was
talking about goes old bench and he was curious about
some weather flying the car, right, so he thought that
(33:06):
he could the crack of the whip would chase the
tornado away, would break it up, yeah, right, would bring it. No.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
As I've said before, Benjamin Franklin was a dumber.
Speaker 11 (33:20):
It's true.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
He said that he took credit for so much.
Speaker 10 (33:25):
Stuff that and he had nothing to do with other
than he saw it somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
But he owned a printing press.
Speaker 10 (33:31):
See he had the newspaper nailed that paper, yeah say,
And he traveled a lot, so he would go like
to Italy and he'd see like, oh, a cast iron
bathtob I invented that.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Own the press. When you can write what you want to,
you think you can control so it'll show up. It's
just like the world it is today. Yeah, I don't
really believe that Kamala is a genius. Like like the media,
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (34:01):
The Democrats now the Democrat.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Well, lucky, lucky. We saw Biden on that on that debate.
I guess nobody saw that the little brighten the sharp media.
What I saw it four years ago?
Speaker 6 (34:21):
A year that.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Benjamin Franknessy, who knows how stupid people really are?
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Ye?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Well, David, you hang on, my boy. You got your
big old fishing cycles price back, head up standing?
Speaker 6 (34:38):
Oh wonderful, wonderful?
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Are keeping straight down there?
Speaker 19 (34:41):
Years?
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Oh right, yeah, we go. Don't worry about it. We'll
be the sharp media for you guys. All right, don't
already know what's happening anyway? All right? Amen? We met
a guy running for governor we hadn't heard of before.
My Mike Ross is a libertarian candidate. Oh well, that's
why you've never heard of it for North Carolina to
run for North Carolina governor. Yeah, and do you know
(35:08):
where we could yesterday? Out so good Man so was
on Mike you know, dress like me? Yeah, maybe it's
going like after Fetterman, who that dude from Pennsylvania always
wears a hoodie in the shorts.
Speaker 18 (35:24):
Yeah, but I like that he's you know, he's and
not a politician.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
He's libertarian. Most of what he had on he could
eat if he wanted to.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I like that, though, box. I got a lot of
libertarian in me.
Speaker 13 (35:37):
Mane.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
That's right for his family.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
All right, absolutely, scout, all right, so we don't know.
Oh we jump. I'll catch you up on your nuw
on our Friday morning song. We gonna bang on the
drum right on the other side. Good morning, there's a
(36:27):
big shone the radio radio show. We're working people. Yeah,
we might buy some we don't want to work. Well,
guess what we do anyway?
Speaker 11 (36:37):
You got it?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Man, that's lessen our paper best in the world. Listen
to the Big Show now hear it?
Speaker 8 (36:47):
And before eleven o'clock tonight, mister, you better find your
dove another line of work.
Speaker 9 (36:52):
That's when sure, don't fix your Pistol's one hundred.
Speaker 11 (36:55):
And six miles to Chicago.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
We got a full tank of guess, half a pack
of seagrets.
Speaker 12 (37:00):
It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I hate work, I hate work.
Speaker 15 (37:12):
I hate work.
Speaker 18 (37:17):
I've been having a very bad day, sus.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
My dog, I don't.
Speaker 9 (37:26):
I'm just gonna, says Duddy.
Speaker 6 (37:42):
Back.
Speaker 13 (37:49):
Don't you just too?
Speaker 11 (37:53):
She's got me?
Speaker 12 (38:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Work work work work, work work work work work.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
Hey man, what are we gonna do?
Speaker 6 (38:17):
Man?
Speaker 11 (38:17):
We got to get out of here.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
You have a light, I mean, do you do anything?
Speaker 15 (38:21):
Was like this three pe stuff?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
What do you do for fun?
Speaker 11 (38:24):
Oh no, we don't have fun.
Speaker 19 (38:25):
We just we just work.
Speaker 11 (38:27):
Here's here's our fun.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Right, work work work walk work work work work work.
Speaker 18 (38:30):
Well.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
I realized my father makes a lot of money, but
you see he's not giving me any.
Speaker 12 (38:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (38:35):
Weekend stay Sunday the time between work and war work,
the time when.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You go out looking for happiness and end up punched
over somewhere else's toilet.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
The weekend, things are at their darkest.
Speaker 7 (38:46):
Pal.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
It's a brave man can party.
Speaker 16 (38:49):
I all is will taste you?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Is cool?
Speaker 9 (38:55):
Bud five?
Speaker 14 (39:38):
Oh no, I am like today.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
I'm having check paid work work?
Speaker 6 (39:52):
What? What? What?
Speaker 18 (39:53):
What?
Speaker 6 (39:53):
What's what's work?
Speaker 15 (39:54):
I hate work?
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I hate work?
Speaker 6 (39:55):
I hate what.
Speaker 20 (40:01):
Good morning, It's a big shon rainio for your Friday morning.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
All right, we're ready action, Hello.
Speaker 11 (40:43):
Friends, you're all well? Burn burn here with another appendix,
agitating entry of John Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode
the sound of music. As our story opens, irritable Kager
Frank Farfel is seeing his doctor.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
Hello, mister, I'm doctor Moran.
Speaker 11 (41:01):
Wait a second, Wait a second. What happened to the
last doctor? The brunette with the glasses and one boot
bigger than the other? Oh you mean doctor Curry. Yeah,
she's decided to change a bit. Why was that done?
Speaker 5 (41:15):
She decided to change to a better paying career? Uh
to what a stripper?
Speaker 11 (41:20):
Really? But where she's working, mister Farfoul?
Speaker 5 (41:24):
What brings you in today?
Speaker 11 (41:27):
Something really weird? When I put this hat on, I
hear music.
Speaker 5 (41:31):
I've never heard of that before.
Speaker 11 (41:32):
Here, I'll put it on. Hut set rolls thin Nondarilla
ro and the broler brolas to it. What's set rolls? Okay,
all right?
Speaker 5 (41:40):
I think that's probably just your imagination, sir, remembering a
song from the old days.
Speaker 11 (41:44):
Maybe it's not just old songs. Here, I'll put it
back on. I'll show you. I ain't saying she's a
gold digger, but she ain't messing with a broke broke.
Speaker 15 (41:53):
That's that is odds not done yet, get down, barrel,
go ahead, get down, Get down, girl, go ahead, get down.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
Maybe maybe maybe you just heard that on the radio.
Speaker 11 (42:05):
I don't even listen to that station. Look, I'll do
it again.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
There's no need, mister Farphell, let's talk.
Speaker 13 (42:09):
About sex, baby, Let's talk about you and me. Let's
talk about all the good things and the bad things
that may be. Let's talk about I do like that song, though,
I do like that song.
Speaker 11 (42:21):
Oh, the song hasn't started yet.
Speaker 5 (42:23):
You know what, I think I may know how to
solve this problem. May I see your hat?
Speaker 11 (42:27):
Yeah, help yourself. The doctor leaves with a hat and
returns seconds later.
Speaker 5 (42:33):
There you go. Give that a try.
Speaker 11 (42:34):
Okay, here goes Hey, nothing, no music, This is fantastic.
What the heck did you do?
Speaker 6 (42:42):
Well?
Speaker 5 (42:42):
It was pretty simple, really, I just removed the band.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Cinema and how.
Speaker 11 (42:55):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse song.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Where's this?
Speaker 11 (42:59):
Doctor jumps working? Tune in next time when we'll hear
old doctor Crooked Jugs Curry say, hey, big man, let
me hold a dollar.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Good morning, A big show is on your radio.
Speaker 11 (43:14):
I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it in
my life.
Speaker 21 (43:17):
The suns belly up. There's food everywhere flying through the air,
round bits and bulls and hands. People eat them with
their fingers, their feet, other people's feet. It's unbelievable. OHI
with the spreads, you can't imagine ribs and chickens and
biscuits and whole pigs and a great big sticky. That's
what it's like at the junt Boy of Bully Pig Show.
It's a buffet from stuff to finish. There should be
a cover charge.
Speaker 11 (43:36):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 21 (43:37):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for. You fainted like cleaning bill. Oh my head,
you can eat that. Good Morning, It's a Big Show
(44:20):
on the radio. Just a quicker minder.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Get your name in the hat for the Big Show
Custom Motorcycle Big Show Bike dot Com. Go ride that
website and get your name in hope you will plan
to win a prize package before we give it a
west wind. Beat the Blonde.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Next game up.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
And the expect on Friday Morning Comedian, you're there on
the line up. Next Big Show rolls on. Good Morning,
Got the Big Show on the radio? Add man the
premiere Friday song coming up first let me tell you
what you can win if you can beat our blonde
and she is hot in more ways than one. A
(45:07):
mount Olive Pickle Prize Pack includes mount Olive hat, T shirt,
and a three pack of pickle juicers. Mount Olive is
a proud partner of the National Wheelchair Basketball Association, committed
to enhancing the lives of people with disabilities. Cheer for
Team USA the Paralympics in Paris starting August twenty eighth.
Hang out and play for it in minutes
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the Ride
to the Red States. John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear
the Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm good, doodle, Wake up?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Good news?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Is Friday the better news? It's Saturday. Doing's gonna work?
But that med tater telling you that first thing tomorrow
morning right here talking about our weekend.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
Girl's right, she's a week.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
Sorry, my eyes are up here.
Speaker 6 (01:23):
So.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
August the Knight. Who who's my wedding anniversary?
Speaker 7 (01:28):
Man?
Speaker 5 (01:30):
That just hits you just now.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Yeah, seeing it on paper.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
It's a Friday too, the whole anniversary weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And you're talking about maybe the food genies out of flowers. No,
they restock on Thursday. I don't guess I can pull
off another John Boy and Billy grilling sauce package. She
stocked up on it like that. I don't know, the
vinegar based Eastern style barbecue sauce on everything. That's right?
(02:01):
All right, Well we'll we'll work on that a little later. Mainly, uh, hello, everybody.
Speaker 7 (02:06):
Hey, load to you say what national days were working,
then we're with National Veep Day, designated to give recognition
to the succession plan of the President of the United States.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Oh but high five on that. You know. I heard
somebody explaining, like, Kamala, like what you did with Biden
is is like what a woman does with a rich
guy when she marries him and and then she can
kill him and then like like you get all this
stuff and then you know, she feels like they earned it. Wait,
(02:41):
I got it, six am, and already the boy ain't right. Okay,
there's not a great analogy, you know, but look at
oh Biden, he's fine.
Speaker 8 (02:54):
No, I just with me.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
I said, he's wonderful. No I gotta take over.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
And there's not any of like, oh gosh, you guys
were right. You didn't hear that. It was just like, hey,
this just didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
She was just like the biggest dupe as there was
until like she's you know there all right? Anyway, Well
this's weep Day, so y'all enjoyed. Man, let's let's have
fun with it. National Passion Fruit Day. What about that
National Rice Pudding Day?
Speaker 9 (03:28):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Then that make you happy pudding Day? I like rice pudding. Yeah, yeah,
it's you know, it's out of vogue.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I mean you never see it anywhere anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
No, that's true. But it's been a while. Well there's
rice pudding Day. Let's bring it back, all right.
Speaker 5 (03:42):
What you don't have a recipe for it?
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Oh, that's right here us she told about this pudding day.
So here, just come this way, all right, Today's National
Book Lover's Day. That's a day for all those who
love to read books.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Your wife like to read. Out there might be a
gift idea.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, that's a good idea, that idea.
Speaker 10 (04:04):
Yeah, maybe one of those uh those hunting books that
you've been giving away.
Speaker 11 (04:09):
Got a case?
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Cousins told truth about spring turkey tating.
Speaker 10 (04:14):
Oh yeah, all right, som getting her all set for Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
Understand my husband.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
But let me say we got old here. There are
three days in history saved up. We'll get our first
prize pack out and get that winning beginning. Four chances
for you to win on the radio this morning, Big
Shows on the radio. Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
First prize, pick a Southern East Pets pack. You know
I all love our dogs. Now, if yours has anxiety
(04:42):
issues like during a thunderstorm. You gotta try the bacon
flavored pets CBD gummies from Southern East Pets here. My boy,
his dog did not like to ride in the car
and then come in handy for that. So anyway, Southerneast
Pets dot com you can find their link of The
Big Show dot com. If you use code JBB you
can get twenty percent off. Must be eighteen to win.
(05:04):
Let's get you set up our three days in history
our categories was nineteen ten. Alba J. Fisher of Chicago
patented the electric washing machine than a move up to
five and New York Radio station agreed to pay two
hundred and forty grand the state authorities after the station
(05:26):
sponsored Smackfest contest and once young women took turns slapping
each other for a chance to win concert tickets and cash.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Okay, and now that's a sport.
Speaker 11 (05:38):
Have you seen it on the dosh? It started in Russia.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
That's like Dana White's got it here in America the
same I put UFC on the map. Yeah, he said,
this is going to be bigger than UFC.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
My god, slapping I've seen before and after pictures. It's
amazing to see that.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
You should look up on YouTube some of the Russian events.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Uh huh brutal, I mean sell rude New York radio station.
Maybe go back and get the money back.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
They just work out one arm you know.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
All right? Well, finally was on this date in twenty seventeen,
a giant inflatable chicken resembling President Trump was placed outside
the White House as a political protest. And then it
looks pretty coolest cut his hand, think inflatable chickens.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
I bet he liked it. I bet he went to
put off.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Somebody spent a lot of money having.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
All right, y'all, there's the categories one eight hundred big shows,
he told Free Line, come on and play out burst next.
(06:58):
Good morning, that's a big show. Ry to your early
Friday morning. We got today's feature track from the Big
Show Big Box, brought to you by Lord Tigers, where
they're building a custom Big Show motorcycle you can win.
Check it out at Big Show Bike dot Com. We
got the Reverend Billy reccollins atheist army chaplains. Gee, I
(07:19):
wonder what to reup thinks about that? He word army
in the Big Box. When you hit the Big Show dot.
Speaker 4 (07:26):
Com, Upburst let's play upburst.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 12 (07:36):
John boy Billy, give the prizes from the big prize.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
B Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 13 (07:45):
This should be a lot of funs.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Win your playing upburst.
Speaker 12 (07:51):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you love the big shots.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Per say hey a you from diesel Town, Virgin morning, Matthew,
Good morning you, Hey, we're all doing good man. Welcome
in here. Alright, Matthew, very long.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
Time, long time listener, first time calling all Robert.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Let's move you boy, welcome, thank you welcome. All right, well,
let's pull ford and get you through these three categories
and get the big old Southern East pets back Matt
to you in five seconds. Three ways to clean your clothes.
Speaker 11 (08:39):
Ready, go.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
Washing machine, rock cleaner, and wash your doors in the sun.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And I like it, all right, Matt. Now we need
three things that require a ticket. Ready go.
Speaker 6 (08:56):
U rock concert, movie theater and Whiten airplanes.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
All right, all right, buddy, in for the wind. Three
barnyard animals ready to go.
Speaker 6 (09:11):
Caw chickens and horses.
Speaker 14 (09:14):
And alright, Matt, you were sending your prize up to
keysel Town jackun get your address.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
All righty much appreciate it. Can I have a shout out?
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yes, I'd like to shout out. Why don't you give
us a shout out?
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Alrighty, I'd like to shout out to my wife, Leslie,
she's cuffer and I am and twice as sweet, all
my grandkids, and a big shout out to all the
team USA athletes that are representing over in France and
doing this prout well.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Awesome man, Matthew, you appreciate you and yours listening to
the Big Shoe all right, will jump out and catch
you up on your news. On the other side, mister
Rubard will prove summer school can be fun. Good morning
(10:48):
is a big.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Head into the weekend. Listen twenty minutes find out what's
playing in the big show, drive in theater, and right
now it's mister Rubar.
Speaker 15 (11:00):
Thank you, gimme the beat, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Hello.
Speaker 15 (11:08):
This is your vaguely unsettled old pal, mister Sunset.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Well sometimes are you three?
Speaker 15 (11:23):
I say that funny?
Speaker 11 (11:24):
Three?
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Say it with me?
Speaker 6 (11:26):
Three?
Speaker 11 (11:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 15 (11:30):
This is mister Rubarb, welcoming you to mister Rubarb Summer
School clubhouse. Now, yay, I'm still looking for a gimmick
that works. We'll let you know during the school year.
It was carpeol University of I say, pul funny. So
we're giving both of us the summer off.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Did you know that.
Speaker 15 (11:51):
Today's subject is the stock market? The stock market is
a place where people like your mommy and daddy buy
and sell stocks. A stock is a little tiny piece
of a company. People buy it, hold on to it
for a while, then try to sell it to somebody
else for more than they paid for it. They call
(12:12):
it buy low, sell high a plan. This is a
lot harder than it sounds, especially if you buy during
something called a recession. That's what we've been having in
America for about the last three or four years. A
recession can make it really hard to make money in
the stock market. For example, if you bought one thousand
(12:35):
dollars worth of Delta Airline stock four years ago today,
it would be worth about forty nine dollars, which is
the opposite of buy low, sell high. If you bought
one thousand dollars worth of a company called AIG, it
would be worth about thirty three dollars, which is not
too good. If you bought one thousand dollars worth of
(12:59):
a company called Lehman Brothers. Today it would be worth
zero dollars, which is really.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Not too good.
Speaker 15 (13:08):
A lot of people who buy stocks also buy a
lot of something called beer.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
No wonder.
Speaker 15 (13:16):
Four years ago, if you bought one thousand dollars worth
of beer, drank it, and took the empty cans back
to the recycling place, Today you'd have almost two hundred dollars,
which beats the pants off those stock market things. So
if your mommy or daddy are having trouble in the
stock market, here's mister Rubarb's investment tip of the wheek.
Speaker 11 (13:40):
Buy beer.
Speaker 15 (13:43):
Speaking of beer, here's mister Rubarb's fun factoid of the day.
All of the walking the average person does in a
day adds up to about nine hundred miles a year,
and the average person drinks about twenty two gallons of
beer every year, which means the average person in America
gets forty one miles to the gallon. And with today's prices,
(14:10):
that's something we can.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
All be proud of us.
Speaker 11 (14:14):
Say you say?
Speaker 15 (14:17):
And that's it for this edition of Mister Rhubarb Summer
School Clubhouse.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Till next time.
Speaker 15 (14:23):
This is mister rhubarb saying, don't be a fool stay
in school unless you're already out for the summer, in
which case you'd be a fool to stay in school.
But just use your best judgment and remember kids, beer
is for grown ups only. Now sit down, shut up,
and quit running with a lot, John Boy and Billy
(14:46):
y'all have a nice day.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It's a big show on the radio for your Friday,
August nine. Oh right, see what's happening is a lot?
Speaker 8 (15:24):
Hello friends, you're old held Bert Bern here with some
exciting news. It's almost showtime at the Big Show Drive
in Theater. Only five dollars a car load. The drive
ins are driving the wild So load up the family
truster and come on down to the all new Big
Show Drive in Theater.
Speaker 11 (15:43):
This isn't the same old labeled.
Speaker 8 (15:45):
Washed up West Coast horse nuggets, crammed full of political
correctness and a hidden communist agenda. These are all new,
all exciting pictures with today's audiences in mind. Just listen
to this weekend's lineup. The world is about to explode.
The search for a new world begins. A crew of
Earth's last astronauts launched into the Great Unknown, only to
(16:06):
crash land on the Planet of Dirty Women. Watched the
old female denizens of the planet jug Toopia go hog
wild when they meet these vieral rocket jockies and seek
to repopulate their own planets. My day, Hanny, It's where Bam,
thank you, Spaceman Lon Tax The Planet of Dirty Equimen,
(16:30):
starring Joey Fatona's Captain Von Wiener, Joe Gatto as Wiener
von Captain, Tater Moran as Queen Hooderella, in a special
appearance by Terry Hanson as Poot Gibson, the flegerland Ship's
cook who's a bit of a wet.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Talker, and me here's a sprinkler on academic kill.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
Filmed in Glorious three Triple D. Also on the same bill,
a group of fret boys on the way to Bristol
for the Big Race end up in a race for
their life when they'd break down in front of the
House of one thousand jennif Corton fans. The tri County
(17:10):
Nicolsaber called it the New Deliverance. The Berkeley Village Rabbit
Varmu Currier called it the last peak house on the left.
You'll call it terrifying be warned no one will be
admitted during the climactic Cornhole Challenge finale OH one thousand
Jeff Gordon Fans, starring Justin Bieter as Biff, Justin Timberlake
(17:36):
as Buff, Justin Long as Boss, and Justin Trudeau as Priscilla,
Queen of the finger Lakes. Remember, friends, don't pack a
lunch or concession stand. Has a bunch at the Big
Show Drive in theater. We've got soda, cider, near beer,
far beer, ice water, tapwater, toilet water, popcorn, carmel, corn cream,
corn corner, the cop corn Off, the cop candy corn,
(17:58):
corn dogs, chili dogs, warmed dogs, hot dogs, hamburgers, spamburger's,
Chicken sandwich is Brave, sandwich is sliders, grinders, sidewinders, gyros, giros,
sugar coated quiros, cotton candy, rotten candy, ill gotten candy,
Junior Man's, Senior Man's Heart, Stints, finger splints, hits, six
dozen slightly disappointing oysters on the fshell left over from
the last time Colin Kaepernick actually played a game. Show
(18:22):
starts at dusk, Get there early and let the kids
go wild and the Captain Copperheads Surprise Ball thrawl.
Speaker 11 (18:29):
All masks are welcome.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
We're not worried about the virus. But we are located
between the wastewater treatment plant and the pig farm off
the State Long Parkway.
Speaker 13 (18:38):
God, what is that smell.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
That's a smell of desire, milady. God, it smells like
a used diaper filled with Indian food.
Speaker 4 (18:46):
Oh excuse me?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
What is that?
Speaker 16 (18:48):
Smells like a turn covered in burnt hair?
Speaker 8 (18:51):
Right, and remember, friends, only five dollars a car load
and get one dollar off if you sing our jinkle, John.
Speaker 9 (18:59):
Boy, clap your head.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
There on the.
Speaker 11 (19:12):
So what are you waiting for?
Speaker 8 (19:13):
It's almost showtime at the Big Show drive in theater.
This is your old Palfert Fern.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
And I'll see you there. Good morning, there's a big
show on the radio. Hell are you Lindsey? Premise here?
Speaker 17 (19:34):
And when I'm on this side of the pond, I
get my daily dose of culture and edification every morning
from these two delightful lads, John Boy and Billy right
here on the Big Show. You know, I hate to
break it to you, boys, but where I come from,
you're all Yankees. Who will I thought it was funny?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Good morning, It's a big show on the radio. Celebrating
Friday as we all want to do as refuges to
say I've had a hundred boys for that Weekend's on.
Speaker 11 (20:40):
Ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
The Junior nation Man.
Speaker 12 (20:42):
Would like to send this one out to one of
our primary influences in life, our good friend Bud Budweiser.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Bud listens for you and it goes.
Speaker 16 (20:54):
Exactly like this.
Speaker 10 (20:58):
It's nineteen seventy.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
We were living in the sticks.
Speaker 12 (21:02):
Trying hard to get our life in sucking gears. High
schools behind us in college couldn't find us. That's the
summer we discovered beer. Oh yeah, sounded just like that,
(21:26):
where we didn't have no money and we all looked
kind of funny. You light say our love life was
a dud, because it's heart to snagg acuty when you're sweaty,
hot and poody. But we always felt the love from
ice cold Bud. So we drank a couple of beers.
(21:47):
Then we drank a couple of beers, then we.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Drank a couple of course too long, we didn't do
much thinking. We was way too busy drinking. We just
kept on drinking beers all summer.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
Long, and.
Speaker 12 (22:12):
So we caught a bunch of bass, and we kicked a.
Speaker 11 (22:16):
Bunch of at the party until.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
We seen the breaking dawn.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
We hammered every nail.
Speaker 12 (22:24):
I can't believe we ain't in jail because we kept
on drinking beer all summer long.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
First we drank a couple of beers. Then we drank
a couple of beers, Then we drank a couple lord
for too long.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
We didn't do much thinking.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
We was way too busy drinking, drinking beers and beers
and beers.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
All summer long. Hey gersh step on.
Speaker 12 (22:56):
Up here, scrumbling off these ladies alright out.
Speaker 7 (23:37):
Now.
Speaker 12 (23:38):
Normally this is the part where our narrative tends to
start going south. But believe it or not, listen had
a happy issue. Now we was always hot and stink.
You got into some hank you, thank you you with
some old drunk gowns from now and around rock Hill.
We sat tall in the saddle and we gave them
(24:01):
quite a battle. I ain't forgot them, and we probably
never will.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
We drank a couple of beers, then we drank it
a couple of beers, and they matched us beer for.
Speaker 12 (24:15):
Beer the whole night long, and we all did double
duty and We finally ain't got some booty.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
They have all that drinking.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
Beer all summer long.
Speaker 4 (24:27):
Yeah, we drinking a couple of beers, then we drank
a couple of beers, then we.
Speaker 12 (24:33):
Drank a couple of more for too long.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
There ain't nothing like a woman.
Speaker 12 (24:39):
But if you don't see one coming, just wrapped your
arms around a couple of beers.
Speaker 16 (24:46):
Just rep your arms around a cup of beers. Just
wrap your arms around a cup of beers. Wrapped your
levan arms around a couple of beers.
Speaker 11 (25:00):
Come on.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Red nex.
Speaker 12 (25:23):
Ad, Hazard Bush.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Good Morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up. That
fish and Cycles prize pack will be won because we
go to we get a winner on John Boyd Jeopardy.
But right now the verdict is in Amusing court transcripts
make for some of the best humor on the Big
Show since Church bulletin bloopers. These lines were actually spoken
(25:54):
instead of written. They were spoken word for word in
a court of law.
Speaker 5 (25:59):
Now, sir, I'm sure you're an intelligent and honest man.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Thank you. If I weren't under oath, i'd returned the compliment.
Speaker 18 (26:09):
Doctor, How many of your autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
All of them. The live ones put up too much
of a fight.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
The autopsy started around eight thirty pm.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
And mister Denton was dead at the time.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Well, if not, he was by the time I finished.
Speaker 5 (26:33):
What happened?
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Then he told me? He says, I have to kill
you because you can identify me.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
Did he kill you?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
No?
Speaker 5 (26:45):
Was that the same nose you broke as a child.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I only have one you know.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Are you married?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
No, I'm divorced.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
And what did your wife do before you divorced her?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Well, a lot of things I didn't know about.
Speaker 18 (27:04):
And were you acquainted with the deceased? Yes, sir, before
or after he died? Uh?
Speaker 5 (27:11):
Why were you going before?
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Sorry, I didn't finish buck.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
What kind of court is this?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yes, yes, a lawyer.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Why were you going so fast in a residential zone.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Well, it's not my fault. The truck behind me was
tailgating me and making such a racket. I was just
trying to get away.
Speaker 5 (27:37):
What kind of truck was it?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
A fire truck?
Speaker 5 (27:44):
And next time, don't show up to court looking like
you're going to the beach.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
But I am going to the beach.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Are you sexually active.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
No, I just lie there and finally and accused defending
his own case. This is here, this is the high point.
Did you get a good look at my face when
I took your purse? That's a little.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
Transcript in a corner log, Girl girl, I.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Told you Church bullet and Blueber's another gold mine. All right, Well,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Let's review yesterday's question found
out this animal has the largest mouth of all land mammals.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Is the hippopotamus?
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Had? A fully grown male hippopotamus has an impressive four
foot gait. Today's John Boy Jeopardy. In seventeen seventy five,
while on a horseback ride with friends, Benjamin Franklin encountered
one of these, and while the others huddled in terror,
Franklin mounted his horse and chased after it for nearly
(28:59):
a mile, thinking that the cracking of his whip would
drive it away.
Speaker 5 (29:05):
What does a squirrel?
Speaker 11 (29:09):
Benji?
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Was as easy? What y'all got? One? Eight hundred big
show you told free line across America. We play John
Boy Jepardy. Next, Good Morning, It's a big show on
(29:43):
the radio. Then fun on No Freaking Friday. Today's feature
track from the Big Show Big Box, Long Tigers Motorcycle
Lawyers who ride sponsoring because we got a custom Big
Show motorcycle. You can register to win at Big Show
o Bike dot com. I track today is Reverend Billy
(30:04):
Ray atheist Army chaplains to the word on that with
a keyword army. Here's a big box at the Big
Show dot.
Speaker 19 (30:11):
Comy right now, let's fla yes live across America. It's
John Boy Jeopany and now your host. He wants chased
after a rabbid raccoon in his pickup truck while he
was shooting it with his left hand full.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Nine shots later, we helped him change attire. It was fine.
Speaker 11 (30:31):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
I were working in true experiences, happily and trove. That's
all except shooting the time.
Speaker 10 (30:40):
I know, but you know, you know the rabbid raccoon
getting away wasn't funny.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Well let's go to Jimmy who and shooting some stuff
down Sparkleberry Swamp outside of Sumter, South Carolina. Good morning, Jimmy,
Good morning.
Speaker 12 (30:57):
So that means you've been down to Sparkle Bay.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Have buddy, what about you close?
Speaker 12 (31:04):
I'm probably eight miles from there, do a lot of fishing, do.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
A little gator hunting.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (31:08):
A little bit of duck hutting.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Awesome, Jimmy, sounded like you were one of my brothers
from another mother down there on the same page. Hey
you buddy, We're glad you got in here. Jimmy. Let's
see what you got. First shot at it this morning,
So this is kind of weird. Seventeen seventy five, while
riding with friends on the horsey, Benjamin Franklin encountered one
(31:30):
of these, So the others huddled in terror. Maybe that's
a little hint. Franklin mounted his horse and chased after
it for nearly a mile, thinking that the cracking of
his whip would drive it away. What could that be, Jimmy,
I think it was a black bear? Black bear, let's
(31:51):
just go any color of bear?
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Old god, Oh, man, I know you go.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
You're goa say what when you hear the answer? Man,
you are going you listen there, Jimmy, we appreciate you, buddy.
All right, A great damn all right? Man, all right,
all right, get up.
Speaker 11 (32:13):
Here you go now we're talking.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Let's go to David. He's up in Stanton, Virginia. Good morning, David,
Good morning, Hey buddy, all right, you're up. We know
it wasn't a bear that Benjamin Franklin was chasing away,
And maybe it's just on another You remember what Benjamin
Franklin's famous for. So okay, I don't believe it was
(32:40):
any animal at all.
Speaker 6 (32:41):
I believe he was chasing a tornado.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Chasing a tornado, man, that's a big hit. I was
talking about goes old bench and he was curious about
some weather flying the car, right, so he thought that
(33:06):
he could the crack of the whip would chase the
tornado away, would break it up, yeah, right, would bring it. No.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
As I've said before, Benjamin Franklin was a dumber.
Speaker 11 (33:20):
It's true.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
He said that he took credit for so much.
Speaker 10 (33:25):
Stuff that and he had nothing to do with other
than he saw it somewhere else.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
But he owned a printing press.
Speaker 10 (33:31):
See he had the newspaper nailed that paper, yeah say,
And he traveled a lot, so he would go like
to Italy and he'd see like, oh, a cast iron
bathtob I invented that.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Own the press. When you can write what you want to,
you think you can control so it'll show up. It's
just like the world it is today. Yeah, I don't
really believe that Kamala is a genius. Like like the media,
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (34:01):
The Democrats now the Democrat.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Well, lucky, lucky. We saw Biden on that on that debate.
I guess nobody saw that the little brighten the sharp media.
What I saw it four years ago?
Speaker 6 (34:21):
A year that.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Benjamin Franknessy, who knows how stupid people really are?
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Ye?
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Well, David, you hang on, my boy. You got your
big old fishing cycles price back, head up standing?
Speaker 6 (34:38):
Oh wonderful, wonderful?
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Are keeping straight down there?
Speaker 19 (34:41):
Years?
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Oh right, yeah, we go. Don't worry about it. We'll
be the sharp media for you guys. All right, don't
already know what's happening anyway? All right? Amen? We met
a guy running for governor we hadn't heard of before.
My Mike Ross is a libertarian candidate. Oh well, that's
why you've never heard of it for North Carolina to
run for North Carolina governor. Yeah, and do you know
(35:08):
where we could yesterday? Out so good Man so was
on Mike you know, dress like me? Yeah, maybe it's
going like after Fetterman, who that dude from Pennsylvania always
wears a hoodie in the shorts.
Speaker 18 (35:24):
Yeah, but I like that he's you know, he's and
not a politician.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
He's libertarian. Most of what he had on he could
eat if he wanted to.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I like that, though, box. I got a lot of
libertarian in me.
Speaker 13 (35:37):
Mane.
Speaker 5 (35:37):
That's right for his family.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
All right, absolutely, scout, all right, so we don't know.
Oh we jump. I'll catch you up on your nuw
on our Friday morning song. We gonna bang on the
drum right on the other side. Good morning, there's a
(36:27):
big shone the radio radio show. We're working people. Yeah,
we might buy some we don't want to work. Well,
guess what we do anyway?
Speaker 11 (36:37):
You got it?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Man, that's lessen our paper best in the world. Listen
to the Big Show now hear it?
Speaker 8 (36:47):
And before eleven o'clock tonight, mister, you better find your
dove another line of work.
Speaker 9 (36:52):
That's when sure, don't fix your Pistol's one hundred.
Speaker 11 (36:55):
And six miles to Chicago.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
We got a full tank of guess, half a pack
of seagrets.
Speaker 12 (37:00):
It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I hate work, I hate work.
Speaker 15 (37:12):
I hate work.
Speaker 18 (37:17):
I've been having a very bad day, sus.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
My dog, I don't.
Speaker 9 (37:26):
I'm just gonna, says Duddy.
Speaker 6 (37:42):
Back.
Speaker 13 (37:49):
Don't you just too?
Speaker 11 (37:53):
She's got me?
Speaker 12 (38:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Work work work work, work work work work work.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
Hey man, what are we gonna do?
Speaker 6 (38:17):
Man?
Speaker 11 (38:17):
We got to get out of here.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
You have a light, I mean, do you do anything?
Speaker 15 (38:21):
Was like this three pe stuff?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
What do you do for fun?
Speaker 11 (38:24):
Oh no, we don't have fun.
Speaker 19 (38:25):
We just we just work.
Speaker 11 (38:27):
Here's here's our fun.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Right, work work work walk work work work work work.
Speaker 18 (38:30):
Well.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
I realized my father makes a lot of money, but
you see he's not giving me any.
Speaker 12 (38:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (38:35):
Weekend stay Sunday the time between work and war work,
the time when.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
You go out looking for happiness and end up punched
over somewhere else's toilet.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
The weekend, things are at their darkest.
Speaker 7 (38:46):
Pal.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
It's a brave man can party.
Speaker 16 (38:49):
I all is will taste you?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Is cool?
Speaker 9 (38:55):
Bud five?
Speaker 14 (39:38):
Oh no, I am like today.
Speaker 2 (39:45):
I'm having check paid work work?
Speaker 6 (39:52):
What? What? What?
Speaker 18 (39:53):
What?
Speaker 6 (39:53):
What's what's work?
Speaker 15 (39:54):
I hate work?
Speaker 2 (39:55):
I hate work?
Speaker 6 (39:55):
I hate what.
Speaker 20 (40:01):
Good morning, It's a big shon rainio for your Friday morning.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
All right, we're ready action, Hello.
Speaker 11 (40:43):
Friends, you're all well? Burn burn here with another appendix,
agitating entry of John Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode
the sound of music. As our story opens, irritable Kager
Frank Farfel is seeing his doctor.
Speaker 5 (40:58):
Hello, mister, I'm doctor Moran.
Speaker 11 (41:01):
Wait a second, Wait a second. What happened to the
last doctor? The brunette with the glasses and one boot
bigger than the other? Oh you mean doctor Curry. Yeah,
she's decided to change a bit. Why was that done?
Speaker 5 (41:15):
She decided to change to a better paying career? Uh
to what a stripper?
Speaker 11 (41:20):
Really? But where she's working, mister Farfoul?
Speaker 5 (41:24):
What brings you in today?
Speaker 11 (41:27):
Something really weird? When I put this hat on, I
hear music.
Speaker 5 (41:31):
I've never heard of that before.
Speaker 11 (41:32):
Here, I'll put it on. Hut set rolls thin Nondarilla
ro and the broler brolas to it. What's set rolls? Okay,
all right?
Speaker 5 (41:40):
I think that's probably just your imagination, sir, remembering a
song from the old days.
Speaker 11 (41:44):
Maybe it's not just old songs. Here, I'll put it
back on. I'll show you. I ain't saying she's a
gold digger, but she ain't messing with a broke broke.
Speaker 15 (41:53):
That's that is odds not done yet, get down, barrel,
go ahead, get down, Get down, girl, go ahead, get down.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
Maybe maybe maybe you just heard that on the radio.
Speaker 11 (42:05):
I don't even listen to that station. Look, I'll do
it again.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
There's no need, mister Farphell, let's talk.
Speaker 13 (42:09):
About sex, baby, Let's talk about you and me. Let's
talk about all the good things and the bad things
that may be. Let's talk about I do like that song, though,
I do like that song.
Speaker 11 (42:21):
Oh, the song hasn't started yet.
Speaker 5 (42:23):
You know what, I think I may know how to
solve this problem. May I see your hat?
Speaker 11 (42:27):
Yeah, help yourself. The doctor leaves with a hat and
returns seconds later.
Speaker 5 (42:33):
There you go. Give that a try.
Speaker 11 (42:34):
Okay, here goes Hey, nothing, no music, This is fantastic.
What the heck did you do?
Speaker 6 (42:42):
Well?
Speaker 5 (42:42):
It was pretty simple, really, I just removed the band.
Speaker 2 (42:45):
Cinema and how.
Speaker 11 (42:55):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse song.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
Where's this?
Speaker 11 (42:59):
Doctor jumps working? Tune in next time when we'll hear
old doctor Crooked Jugs Curry say, hey, big man, let
me hold a dollar.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Good morning, A big show is on your radio.
Speaker 11 (43:14):
I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it in
my life.
Speaker 21 (43:17):
The suns belly up. There's food everywhere flying through the air,
round bits and bulls and hands. People eat them with
their fingers, their feet, other people's feet. It's unbelievable. OHI
with the spreads, you can't imagine ribs and chickens and
biscuits and whole pigs and a great big sticky. That's
what it's like at the junt Boy of Bully Pig Show.
It's a buffet from stuff to finish. There should be
a cover charge.
Speaker 11 (43:36):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 21 (43:37):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for. You fainted like cleaning bill. Oh my head,
you can eat that. Good Morning, It's a Big Show
(44:20):
on the radio. Just a quicker minder.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
Get your name in the hat for the Big Show
Custom Motorcycle Big Show Bike dot Com. Go ride that
website and get your name in hope you will plan
to win a prize package before we give it a
west wind. Beat the Blonde.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
Next game up.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
And the expect on Friday Morning Comedian, you're there on
the line up. Next Big Show rolls on. Good Morning,
Got the Big Show on the radio? Add man the
premiere Friday song coming up first let me tell you
what you can win if you can beat our blonde
and she is hot in more ways than one. A
(45:07):
mount Olive Pickle Prize Pack includes mount Olive hat, T shirt,
and a three pack of pickle juicers. Mount Olive is
a proud partner of the National Wheelchair Basketball Association, committed
to enhancing the lives of people with disabilities. Cheer for
Team USA the Paralympics in Paris starting August twenty eighth.
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Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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