May 2, 2025 • 45 mins
Friday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll roll out the Friday Favorites to get you set for the weekend.. - Tank Hogarth asks what’s happened to America’s movies?.. - The Not Ready for Drive Time Players take us on a trip to “The Nude Beach”.. - Zach Brown & Company perform “Chicken Fried” live in out studio.. - Tom Sorensen recaps the week in sports and predicts what lies ahead this weekend.. - The Grumpy Old Man tells why he hates doctors.. - and we’ll wrap up with a special Cinco de Mayo ad message from Buddy Beer…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
The Big Show's on the radio, and more Big show
right around the corner.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listen to John Boyd and Billy and that
they're big show. I like the way they talk. They're
funny ha ha, not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John boy has a hard time
getting started the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Ain't gotten the gaze. I can do the do iming
(01:04):
out them.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah, I is Friday my favorite day week coming out
around hey, yeah, we bid it? Yeah, abidah there sounded
like Grady from Severn Zone again out oh rule. Celebrate
Fridays National Life Insurance Day, beginning in the late seventeen
(01:30):
sixties for relief of poor and distressed widows and children
of Presbyterian ministers. Why is this something that's a little specific?
Seventeen fifty nine. Yeah, I had to start somewhere right there,
up around I'm guessing you up up north, Yeah, seventeen,
(01:51):
so they hadn't ventured that far. Presbyterians got in there. Uh.
National Truffle Day either, Truffle National Day of Prayer, This
day of observance designated by the US Congress as people
to turn to God in prayer and meditation. All right,
you got that going National Day of Reason along that
(02:13):
you should reason of the perceived unconstitutional national I think
something words and it's the pro against prayer. You don't
want to pray then, of course? Ah yeah, all right,
(02:33):
well well just let y'all get on back to going
to Hale. Yeah, that's true. We got three days in
history saved up. We'll get that winning beginning here on
Friday morning. We're awake. Big Show's on the radio. Good morning,
Big Show's on the radio. Get a Happy Herd price
(02:56):
back out here and play for it. Hunters get up
early and you know so Happy Herd makes top quality ofttractors,
mintals and feed for deer Baron Hoggs. Just click on
the banner the Big Show dot Com. Use jbb a checkout.
You get ten percent off. It isn't up here and
win it. Three days in history where we're going a
category twenty nineteen for the first time, a drone delivered
(03:18):
a kidney for transplant surgery in Baltimore, Maryland. Wow. Man,
and they won't even let your Amazon order come with
them yet. But oh kidney, Yeah help he is in
a hurry.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Yeah, now, I always thought people had to be with
the organ as it's being being transferred.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Maybe they tied them to the drone too. It was
inside a guy tied to a drone. The thing about
human organs. You'll be a twenty nineteen as well. It
was May second. The casts of The Big Bang Theory
were the first TV actors to be immortalized in semen
outside Hollywood's Chinese Theater in Los Angeles. They put celebrity's
(04:00):
in cements. Oh, immortalize in simul. I thought they did
the hands. That's what they're talking about about.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
It's just normally it's like single stars and they put
them all together.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Oh okay, now there the cast.
Speaker 7 (04:15):
They were very close, popular and had people really like.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, that was funny for a while. But finally twenty
twenty three, forty year old weight loss company Jenny Craig
announced it would close after failing to secure further financial backing.
What two years ago, Jimmy Jenny Craig no longer what
Oprah own Jenny weight Watchers. Yeah, Oprah's been on everything.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
I mean, you know, Obra had a stake in weight
Watchers and then she went the ozempic route and so
she was dropped from weight Watchers.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
But weight Watchers is actually prescribing ozempic.
Speaker 8 (04:55):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
They sure are? Yeah both to Oh I stand corructed.
Ask that guy he knows the answer about the weight
loss comedies. We got it covered. There's our categories one
eight hundred, Big Show you told free line, We play
out birds next, good morning. It's a big show on
(05:38):
the radio Friday, May second feature track from the Big Show,
bid Box, Buddy Beer, mister Mexican construction guys, there's for
key words construction guy, hit the Big Box at the
Big Show dot com.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Right, Uppers, Let's play uppers. That's the game that anyone can.
Speaker 8 (06:01):
John boy Billy to give the prizes from the big
prize being.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing uppers, have a hurry up and guest time, you
have the best time.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You have a big shots. Let's say, hay a limb
from Goose Creek out how we shot good morning lymb good? Hey,
(06:40):
how you doing so far?
Speaker 9 (06:43):
I'm doing good?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
How would you got were all good? ARide Goose Creek
Symphony All.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Ride my first concert.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
All right, anyway, then let's let's get you three these
three categories.
Speaker 9 (06:55):
You ready, okay, I'm already all right.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Name three human organs Ready to go? Kidneys, liver hot,
there you go.
Speaker 8 (07:07):
Now.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Three characters from that show The Big Bang Theory. Ready go.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
Sheldon had a rope by Linen Len.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, Linen, it looked like him. Uh, Lynn for the wind.
Three weight loss companies, Ready.
Speaker 6 (07:27):
Go, Renny Craig Watchers, and.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Early Nuture System. In my career, remember the TV commercials
me running through a field of days, he's wearing vertical stripes.
They were horizontal, but yes, there were horizontal sideways. They'll
usually make you look fatter. Yeah, I was showing off
uh huh and uh sniffing chiggers. Yeah, sugar of weeds. Okay,
(07:56):
but anyway back to you, Lynn down a goose creek
when in a big old prize fact. We'll get it
to you. Okay, thank you, Okay, I got a special
tree toy on the other side of your new Rabbi
movie reviewer. I want to go see mine Craft this weekend.
(08:20):
He's gonna tell you all about it. Good Friday morning
(08:55):
heading into the weekend, win a big jo on the radio. Well,
the weather is eating up, and so is a big
movie release schedule for the summer. And as usual, nothing
against by a resident critic. Let's welcome back, Rabbi myren
Berg steam show. Owe me, homie, what happening? How are you, Rabbi? Hot?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
It's getting warm outside a couple of days in there,
ninety What the hell do you do with spring? You're bastard.
I can't step outside without making gravy. Give me a
damn break here, I'm eighty years old. No mouth, parwa,
your dumbass.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
You can always move up north fa. Then give up
show business. So I guess you've been bin to the movie.
Speaker 8 (09:42):
No.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I come in here for the stimulating.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Conversation and the off chance that Masie shows up without
a taper. And again I'm a loser as usual.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Of course. I went to the movie, all right, So
what'd you see?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I would be happy to tell you if you would
shut the hell up at two second now. My great
grandkids bugged me to take them with me, so I
had to see something kid friendly. In quotation marks, I
wanted to see that movie about the Last Supper, but
they wanted to see snow White. Did you go snow way.
(10:16):
So I told him to pick something else, and they
wanted to see this mind shaft movie Minecraft. That don't
make no sense. The title, no the movie, Oh you
what a mess. Here's what the press really says. A
mysterious portal posts four misfits into the overworld, a bizarre
cubic wonderland. The trives on imagination to get back home.
(10:39):
They'll have the master the terrain while embarking on a
magical quest with an unexpected.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Craft named Steve. It sounds interesting, except it isn't.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
It's like Wizard of Ours for lazy, stupid people, except
everything in this ours is square.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
For some reason, it was based on some video game.
Oh well, so now it makes perfect sense. That's why
it's crap. How are the actors?
Speaker 6 (11:05):
Well?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I think I can shuve it up with one word. Nah,
didn't know oh you speak the kids lingo. I didn't
know you were hit to that scene. I didn't know
hardly anyone in it, except for that awkwua guy from
the Superhero Stuff not his best Vike. But if I
had to pick a bright spot in a dull, dumb movie,
(11:26):
it would be that funny fat guy from nat Cho
Mama and Karate Teddy Ben Jack Nicholson.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Jack Black. The actor you're thinking of is Jack Black.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I thought that was the actor whose face was so
leathery he looked like a catches mit us Jack Palance.
I thought that was the guy who could look left
and right at the same time, Us Jack Alum. I
thought that was the love boat guy us Jack Jones.
I thought that was the show where friends sat around
slapping each other in the crunches Jackass. I thought that
(12:04):
was the guy with the beautiful hair that said book him,
Danny Boy.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
That's Jack Lord.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I thought that was the clown and the dunts hat
trying to sell me a baker. That's Jack in the box.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I thought that was the guy with the orange skin
that only works one day in October. That's Jack o'lanorn.
So who the hell am I thinking? Jack Black?
Speaker 8 (12:25):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
You want to kiss on that guy?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
More crass on his face than Liberachi's chinos.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
What are you?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think he never heard a sunblocker moisturizer. He was
beef jerkie and a snutson o the movie. Ah well,
I give it one and a half Yamaka, mostly because
I like the aqua guy I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
You might have a different opinion.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I mean, if you live in your mother's basement and
play games all day and move food like a bum,
I'm sure this is your favorite movie of the year.
But for guys like me, I need more. See I
read books. Maybe you heard of them. It's like a
whole movie in your head. I don't need Fortnight or
Mario injected into my veins like some sort of cyber junkie.
(13:09):
But you, your bastard, You got no taste, no education,
no clue. You are society's brighten and a shame to
your parents. Do the wil favorite and don't bread. We
don't need any more stupid dead beats. We're full oft
the fix you for thirty five bucks, your bastard, I'm paying,
but it is possible that I could be wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Go in peace, but be sure to see a Mad Night.
It's cheaper, your bastard. Good Friday morning bike shows on
(14:07):
the radio.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Well, well, well, it seems you can't pick up a
phone these days without having to push a button just
to speak to someone in English. If you've ever called
an eight hundred number for tech support, you wind up
trying to figure out what gunga Din is telling you.
(14:36):
I wish everyone would just learn to speak English. And
if you've ever read the Big Show Facebook page or
listen to Wordy Word, you realize that's probably asking a lot,
in some cases, a whole lot. Perhaps the problem is
we real Americans just take English for granted. We've been
(14:59):
doing it for so long long we've forgotten how daunting
a task it might be for someone to learn to
speak English. There's so many don rules to follow, most
of which just don't make any sense. A friend of
mine found this on the Internet and send it to me.
It was on the internet, so you know it's true.
He's a French model. You'll begin with a box, and
(15:26):
the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox became oxen,
not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are
called geese. Yet the plural of moose should never be meace.
You may find one lone mouse, or a nest full
of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hee.
If the plural of man is always called men, why
(15:48):
shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I
spoke of a foot and show you my feet if
you gave me a boot, would a pair be called beat?
If one is a tooth and a whole set of teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beef. Then
one may be that, and three would be those. Yet
(16:10):
had in the plural would never be hose, and the
plural of cat is cats, never COEs. We speak of
a brother and also a brethren, But though we say mother,
we never say methn. The the masculine pronouns are he, his,
and him, But imagine the feminine she.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Shizz and shim.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
In all fanners. I have seen a few shim in
my head.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
But you see what I mean.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Let's face it. English is a crazy language. But if
we explore its paradoxes, we find that, for example, quicksand
is actually quite slow, boxing rings are square, and a
guinea pig is neither from guinea or remotely related to
a pig. And why is it right as right? But
fingers don't fing to think about it. You can make amends,
(17:04):
but not one single amend. If you have a big
box of odds and ends and throw all of them
away except for one, what do you call that?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Brother? If teach us taught.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Why don't preach us praught If a vegetarian needs vegetables,
what does a humanitarian need? And what other language do
people recite at a play and play at a recital.
We ship by truck and sent cargo by ship. We
have noses that run and feet that smell. We park
in the driveway and drive on the parkway. And how
(17:37):
in the world is a slim chance and a fat
chance the same thing. While wise men and wise guys
are polar opposites, you have to marvel at the unique
insanity of English, where your house can burn up as
it burns down, and you fill in a form while
filling it out, and an alarm goes off by going
(17:59):
on And while I'm thinking of it, if father is pop,
how come mothers not mock? Sometimes I think the folks
who created this mess should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane English.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
What a load of who?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Good morning?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
The big shows on the radio.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Hang on, all right, listen, you mog, it's time to
button your yap.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Say I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Yeah, the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
It's big saying bigger than beg.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
It's enormous.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Hey, he's adorable. Good morning, there's a big show on
(19:17):
the radio. And then Toil the weekend man talking about movies.
A great American tank hole guards. He's thinking out him
in a minute right now where the happy boys at.
Speaker 10 (19:40):
I was walking down the street on a sunny day
feeling in my bones, says I have my weed bub
hub imna hap to beat boy. Ima happen to beat boy?
Oh we did good?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
When things are going here? We hey, my little box.
Speaker 11 (19:57):
Pot got hit back car ubble hubbub a hubb.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
But it's guns in the box and put him in
a drawer.
Speaker 11 (20:04):
I'm a have beat boy. I'm a have be boy.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Oh in it good when things are going here?
Speaker 11 (20:10):
We hey, hey, oh forgot all about it for a
month and a half.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Hubbo I looked into the drawer and started to laugh.
Speaker 10 (20:34):
Because i'ma have beat boy. Ima have beat boy. Oh
in the good when things.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Are going here? We hey, hey, good morning. Bike shows
on the radio coming up, John boy Jepardy. Somebody went
one hundred and twenty dollars worth a bull snod cleaning
products made in the USA, drupped hours keep America moving
(21:01):
a bullsnot, make sure they look good doing it. If
on Bullsnaughty truck stops across America, download the Bullsnot at
when you click on the better at the Big Show
dot Com, hang on play four ten minutes. Right now,
It's time for an American minute with Tank Holgar.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Thanks Red, Hey America, Tank holgarth here got a minute
too bad? Make time, Put down your smartphone and dummy up.
I'm gonna lay some food for thought on you. And
if you're anything like the drooling human fungus that runs
wild in this once glorious republic, your noggin has a
bad case of malnutrition. Tell the whole flipping country as
(21:40):
brain starving for a heap and helping of common sense. Well, gus,
what Einstein here? And luck I'm the by god golden
Corral of wisdom. So grab an extra plate or two
and a nice big ice cold glass to shut your donut,
drain and digest this table for one. Find it yourself.
I'm not your mother. My day was tea to be
(22:00):
a real special occasion special because I'm too cheap to
do it very often. And no I'm not talking about
a hooker. But in hindsight, it would probably have been
a better investment and a whole lot cheaper, both financially
and morally. The worst that can happen with a hooker
can be fixed with penicillin, calamine lotion, and a few
hours of doctor Phil. But what I went through was
(22:22):
left me with night terror's chronic nausea and the uncontrollable
urge to slam my junk in a car door. Of course,
I'm talking about it going to the movies. You know,
in the good old days, entertainment did what it was
supposed to do, entertained. When you went to the movies,
you knew what to expect. You cheered the hero and
(22:44):
booed the villain. The dog lived, the boy got the girl,
and the one constant in every last flickering frame of
spectacular celluloid was an unflinching and wavering, unashamed love of
God and country.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
Today, the bad guy the good guy, The dog is
now a cat.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
The boy still gets the girl, but you find out
she used to be a boy, and the boy digs it.
And worst of all, Hollywood's kicked God to the curb
and got rid of the white and blue, and now
they're just playing godless Red.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Maybe I'm a black and white guy in a technicolor world.
Maybe I believe in the happy ending someplace other than
the massage parlor. Maybe, just maybe I'm living in the past.
You know, a past where tickets were cheap, you didn't
have to take out a second mortgage to buy popcorn,
and when you took your dear, sweet sainted mother to
see Gene Kelly, you sure as hell didn't have to
worry about him cussing a blue streak, spitting on the
(23:39):
American flag, or making out with Danny Kay, at least
not on screen, despite what you might have heard from
some people who were there.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
But they're all dead now, So what the hell are
you gonna do about it?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Shake my head? What the hell have you done to
our movies America? Personally, I blamed Joe McCarthy. He had
his chance to get the Red Menace out of Hollywood.
They rounded up that Comi trash and gave the pinkos
their pink slips, But he didn't finish the job. All
the turds were right there in the bowl and he
(24:11):
was one flush short of a full septic tag. Fast
forward forty years and now look the historically American institution
of Hollywood, his own lock stock and both barrels by
communist China. Now, how do you feel about ho Chi
mini mouse, Comrade? You like being lectured too by millionaire
propaganda pimps, saying you're stupid because of who you vote for,
(24:34):
all the while running hard to the hoop on behalf
of a crooked old boozehound dressed as an oven mit.
That's some pretty boy. Actor flies his hairstylists across country
on a private jet so he looks good on camera
when he tells you you're destroying the planet because you
drive a truck to work, dare to have more than one.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Kid, and you eat bacon.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
When Americans ran Hollywood, actors were men and actresses were women.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
Now you can't tell them apart.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Girls got crew cuts, Guys got a man bun on
both sides are flat chested. I grew up watching real
men like Jimmy Stewart, James Cagney, and John Wayne. When
war broke out, the biggest stars in Tinseltown suited up
to fight Tojo the hon Hitler and whoever else dared
kick dirt in the face of Lady liberty. Hollywood was
pro America, baby. They started the USO, They sold war
(25:26):
bonds on their own dimond, their own time, and they
put their hand over their heart when they said the
Pledge of Allegiance. Now, the warriors they support aren't the
great American military kind.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
They're the social justice kind.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And the only place they put their hand is in
your pocket to steal your heart earned dollar to make
sure some third world dirt worshiper votes for their side.
In return, you're forced to watch their wicked commie agenda
dressed up like windbreaking emojis, foul mouth superheroes, and cowboys
that don't write horses.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
What the hell?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Well, well, look at the time, have overstayed my welcome.
But you know what they say, tough crap, you're welcome.
This is tag hole guy, Stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Well, I've played John Boyd. Do you ever to get
us a winner of the Bull's not products here We're
so proud of despite what you've seen in the movies.
This was the main reason pioneers in the Old West
would circle their wagons. What's to create a private port
so nobody would see him going poo poo. No, but
(26:58):
good guess thanks one at your Big Show, you told
free line what you got poo poop? We go do
we the winn? We play John Boy Jepardy next. Good morning,
(27:35):
it's a big show on the radio wheel rolling through
your Friday with that feature track from the Big Show,
Big Box, Buddy Beer, mister Mexican Construction Guy, the words
construction Guy hit the Big Box at the Big Show
dot Com. Right now, let's play Yeses live across America.
Is job Boy Jeopardy? Why? And now a man who says,
(27:58):
you know you really can't always he's blamed the bear.
I mean, he's seen plenty of sober people do some
pretty stupid stuff. He joy had ha out as ahead
of Mike got a Somerton in South Carolina. Good morning, Mike,
Good morning, John Boy. How are you today?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Man?
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I gotta sit on both hands so I ain't waving
it everybody. Well, d wait, no, that's how ugly you are. Yeah,
Loving Friday, Mike, I hope you doing good, buddy, fantastic day.
All right, then, well you got the first shot of
(28:39):
John Boy Jeopardy. So let's see what you know about
the Old West despite what you've seen in the movies.
This was the main reason pioneers in the Old West
would circle their wagons. The reason was I know this.
My grandfather told me.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
They put their horses and their cows and this wouldn't
run away, just to fence him in, corral them in?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Who corral the live stock? Will? Let's see, well, you
and your grandfather all over. I believe I believe that
story about his grandfather's too, randy. Okay, temporary corral for
(29:20):
the stuff. Okay, awesome, man, Mike, when you hang on
that knowledge brought you one hundred and twenty dollars worth
of bulls not cleaning products headed over to Summerton for you.
That sounds very awesome.
Speaker 10 (29:34):
Thank you' all very much.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
All right, buddy, bottom of the hour, topp of your news.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Iterated a turner up, bang on the drum.
Speaker 11 (29:50):
I'll bring him on his eyes.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Good morning. Makes show's on the radio Friday mornings. All
let's get it.
Speaker 10 (30:34):
And before eleven o'clock tonight, mister, you better find your
dove another line of work that one sure. Don't pick
your fistil it's one hundred.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
And six miles to Chicago. We got a full tank
of gas, half a pack of cigarettes.
Speaker 10 (30:47):
It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Hit it.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I hate work, I hate work, I hate work. I've
been having a very bad days. I do okay, I
don't need I'm just stick.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Don't work.
Speaker 8 (31:24):
Okay, this.
Speaker 5 (31:27):
Bay my don't go back day.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Don't They just told sister she's got me back.
Speaker 6 (31:51):
Yeah, day.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Working work, work, work, work, work work, man, what are
we gonna do?
Speaker 8 (32:04):
Man?
Speaker 1 (32:04):
We got to get out of here.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
We have a light.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
I mean, do you do anything beside this creepy stuff?
What do you do for fun?
Speaker 5 (32:11):
Oh no, we don't have fun.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
We just we just work.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
Here's here's our fun.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Right work work work, work, work work work work.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Well.
Speaker 5 (32:18):
I realized my father makes a lot of money, but
you see he's.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Not giving me any. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (32:22):
Weekend, Sday, Sunday, the time between work and more work,
the time when you go looking for happiness and end
up punched over somewhere else's toilet.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
The weekend things are at their darkest.
Speaker 11 (32:33):
Pal, It's a brave man. I can kick party.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
All is with taste?
Speaker 8 (32:39):
You is.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Cool?
Speaker 11 (32:42):
Bud Off five?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Oh no, I am I today I'm having cat paid
work work what what?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
What?
Speaker 8 (33:40):
What?
Speaker 5 (33:40):
What's what's work?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I work, I work, I hate works, studious.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Good Friday morning, there's a big sea on the radio.
You what evans around the time every Friday track over
the brand new script Getting the Playhouse All in the
Places in action.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Hello friends, you're all pal Burt Bird here with another
nurple purpling edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode the Nude Beach. As our story opens, a mother
and her young son are seated on their beach blanket.
Speaker 7 (34:49):
Let's get a little sun and then we'll go in
the water for a swim.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Where's dad?
Speaker 7 (34:54):
He went to the concession stand for some drinks.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Mom, Can I ask a question? Of course, why are
we at a nude beach?
Speaker 6 (35:02):
We're a progressive family's son. We feel it's the right
thing to expose you to all sorts of lifestyles.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Emphasis on the word exposed. Some of these people shouldn't
be naked now.
Speaker 6 (35:12):
Now this family believes in body positivity. Those behemoths have
the same right to be naked as everyone else. Disgusting
though it may.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Be, I noticed that all these women have different.
Speaker 7 (35:23):
Size blouse bunnies.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, yeah, oh they put you to shame. WOWSA Well,
just so.
Speaker 7 (35:30):
You know, the bigger they are, the dumber the owner, and.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
All of these guys, all the different sizes.
Speaker 7 (35:37):
Of ding dongs. Yeah, yeah, well just so you know,
the bigger they are, the dumber the owner.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Wow, this has been a real eye opener, more than
that field trip to the drag Queen story hour.
Speaker 7 (35:49):
I am parched. Where is your father with our drinks?
Speaker 11 (35:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Look now, but he's right over there where, over by
the showers.
Speaker 7 (35:56):
What on earth is he doing?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
He's talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and
the longer they talk, the dummer he gets.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Son of us. Hello, we hope you enjoyed John Boy
and Billy playhouse. Has he ever been that dumb with you?
Speaker 7 (36:17):
Turn around?
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the big girl
Sunblock bender with the bucket and rollers.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 12 (36:28):
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted morney.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
You may hear the Big Show. Where's my big bag?
Who can't be topical? Good morning, It's a big show
(37:26):
on the radio, and this is your one hour alert
for John Boy's Wonderful Thing. Number one hundred and forty
is a hardback copy of the book The Whole Truth
about Spring Turkey Hunting according to Ronniccuz Strickland Amasio autograph
about Grand Slam Holder that would be yours truly, but
afore mentioned author the best in abuz my boy, cause,
(37:48):
hey man Jackie giment name, I'm gonna be sure to
shout out from my boy from the coast of North
Carolina's donating the offshore fishing trip. Thank you right here
Kent King out of Elm City, North Carolina. Kids gonna
donate a fishing trip for our child's Wish organization regranting
(38:09):
fishing and hunting trips for kids and veterans their families
free of charge. And let me say, it was just
just came in Tater's I sent it to Bridget okay orright,
I got you okay? So you got that to her,
she said, Tell John Boy, I got back last night
from Alabama where we held our eighteenth annual fishing event
(38:32):
on Lake Gunnersville. We had a record number of fish
called at this event. One boat caught around thirty baths
somewhere in four to five pounds. Four to five pounds,
that's good. Another called a catfish weighing around seventy pounds.
There were thirteen total disabled kids and families. Everyone filled
their boats with fish. Attached to a few of the
(38:55):
pictures and we'll get those dates. An upcoming events see
South Carolina Fishing event is next with twenty families scheduled
for May ninth and tenth. New York Fishing event for
twenty families on June fifth and sixth. Wisconsin Great Lakes
Fishing Event for twenty families June thirteenth and fourteenth. See
(39:15):
United Special Sportsman Alliance All volunteer at five O one
C three nonprofit charitable organization. You to get in touch
with them, go to Childswish dot org is Child's wish
at gmail dot com, the email special kids Wish dot org.
So thank you.
Speaker 7 (39:35):
Ways to get in touch.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Oh Jack Bridget, thank you, thank you, thank you Bridge.
Awesome and thank you all. May You're awesome, awesome, what
you are? Good? Good morning, Big shows on the radio,
Hango with Chicken Friday Friday Morning, Sell from My Boys,
Zach First, tell you about you Can't Win and a
sworm of a swag from World Lawnmowers is the best
value zero turn mowes on the market, three year, unlimited
(39:58):
hours warning commercial great Kawasaki Engines heavy duty fabricated decks
starting at just twenty nine, nine and nine. Say who's
that good looking cowboy riding the steel horse? All that'd
be me? Oh world long, tough on grass, easy on
your wallet. See the pictures at the John Boy Billy
Facebook page.
Speaker 7 (40:17):
Was I the only one that looked around the room?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Cowboy on a horse? I ride completely ruined? Old good
rock song, Hang on, We'll play more than minutes.
Speaker 9 (40:42):
New Alima, Chicken Friday, cold beer on Friday.
Speaker 13 (40:46):
Night, a pair of jeans and fit just right, and
the radio a lot of spreads of 'em need shed
(41:07):
of Georgia pine and that's home, you know, sweet tea
can pine homemade. Why where the peaches grow in my house?
Speaker 9 (41:17):
It's not much to talk about, but it's feeling. Love
is grown in southern ground and a little bit of
chicken Friday, Got beer on.
Speaker 8 (41:31):
Friday night, a pair of cheese that fits us right,
and the radio.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
A lot see the song rides, See the love in
my Mama's eyes?
Speaker 8 (41:44):
Feel it touch of impress us child.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
You know when there's.
Speaker 9 (41:50):
Where it's funny how it's the simple things in life
that mean most, not where you live, what you drive over,
the brist a on your clothes. There's no dollar sign
on a piece of mind the side come to note.
So if you agree, have a drink with me, raising
(42:11):
glasses fall toes to a little bit of chicken file.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Don't beer on Friday night.
Speaker 8 (42:18):
A pair of jeans, a feature us righting and the radio,
A lot to see some rid seen love in my
mama's eides bee, a touch of a pressure, us child,
you go with my thurst, lay that fiddle man, Thank
(43:11):
God for my life, for the stars and stripes, May
freedom forever fly.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Let it bring.
Speaker 9 (43:22):
Salute the ones who die, the ones that give their
lives so we don't have to sacrifice all the things
we love.
Speaker 8 (43:35):
Lie our chicken frow. Don't beer on Friday night, apparent
of jeans to fit to us right and the radio,
but not to see the song see loving my woman's eyes.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Feel the touch of impressure us.
Speaker 9 (43:54):
Child, know when mothers.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Give me a little chicken fried. Don't be here on
Friday night.
Speaker 8 (44:03):
Apparently submit just right and radio, but I see son,
see love in a woman's eyes, be the chug of
a precious child.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
No, woman, there's the.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
I know you can render like that man? All right, man,
that guys recording the Big Show studio. Well, let's play
Beating the Blonde for the big old World Long Moors
prize packed one. Ain't under the Big Show, you told
free Line. We'll get a contestant play nex
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
The Big Show's on the radio, and more Big show
right around the corner.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listen to John Boyd and Billy and that
they're big show. I like the way they talk. They're
funny ha ha, not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John boy has a hard time
getting started the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Ain't gotten the gaze. I can do the do iming
(01:04):
out them.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah, I is Friday my favorite day week coming out
around hey, yeah, we bid it? Yeah, abidah there sounded
like Grady from Severn Zone again out oh rule. Celebrate
Fridays National Life Insurance Day, beginning in the late seventeen
(01:30):
sixties for relief of poor and distressed widows and children
of Presbyterian ministers. Why is this something that's a little specific?
Seventeen fifty nine. Yeah, I had to start somewhere right there,
up around I'm guessing you up up north, Yeah, seventeen,
(01:51):
so they hadn't ventured that far. Presbyterians got in there. Uh.
National Truffle Day either, Truffle National Day of Prayer, This
day of observance designated by the US Congress as people
to turn to God in prayer and meditation. All right,
you got that going National Day of Reason along that
(02:13):
you should reason of the perceived unconstitutional national I think
something words and it's the pro against prayer. You don't
want to pray then, of course? Ah yeah, all right,
(02:33):
well well just let y'all get on back to going
to Hale. Yeah, that's true. We got three days in
history saved up. We'll get that winning beginning here on
Friday morning. We're awake. Big Show's on the radio. Good morning,
Big Show's on the radio. Get a Happy Herd price
(02:56):
back out here and play for it. Hunters get up
early and you know so Happy Herd makes top quality ofttractors,
mintals and feed for deer Baron Hoggs. Just click on
the banner the Big Show dot Com. Use jbb a checkout.
You get ten percent off. It isn't up here and
win it. Three days in history where we're going a
category twenty nineteen for the first time, a drone delivered
(03:18):
a kidney for transplant surgery in Baltimore, Maryland. Wow. Man,
and they won't even let your Amazon order come with
them yet. But oh kidney, Yeah help he is in
a hurry.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (03:32):
Yeah, now, I always thought people had to be with
the organ as it's being being transferred.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Maybe they tied them to the drone too. It was
inside a guy tied to a drone. The thing about
human organs. You'll be a twenty nineteen as well. It
was May second. The casts of The Big Bang Theory
were the first TV actors to be immortalized in semen
outside Hollywood's Chinese Theater in Los Angeles. They put celebrity's
(04:00):
in cements. Oh, immortalize in simul. I thought they did
the hands. That's what they're talking about about.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
It's just normally it's like single stars and they put
them all together.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Oh okay, now there the cast.
Speaker 7 (04:15):
They were very close, popular and had people really like.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, that was funny for a while. But finally twenty
twenty three, forty year old weight loss company Jenny Craig
announced it would close after failing to secure further financial backing.
What two years ago, Jimmy Jenny Craig no longer what
Oprah own Jenny weight Watchers. Yeah, Oprah's been on everything.
Speaker 6 (04:42):
I mean, you know, Obra had a stake in weight
Watchers and then she went the ozempic route and so
she was dropped from weight Watchers.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
But weight Watchers is actually prescribing ozempic.
Speaker 8 (04:55):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (04:56):
They sure are? Yeah both to Oh I stand corructed.
Ask that guy he knows the answer about the weight
loss comedies. We got it covered. There's our categories one
eight hundred, Big Show you told free line, We play
out birds next, good morning. It's a big show on
(05:38):
the radio Friday, May second feature track from the Big Show,
bid Box, Buddy Beer, mister Mexican construction guys, there's for
key words construction guy, hit the Big Box at the
Big Show dot com.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
Right, Uppers, Let's play uppers. That's the game that anyone can.
Speaker 8 (06:01):
John boy Billy to give the prizes from the big
prize being.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing uppers, have a hurry up and guest time, you
have the best time.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You have a big shots. Let's say, hay a limb
from Goose Creek out how we shot good morning lymb good? Hey,
(06:40):
how you doing so far?
Speaker 9 (06:43):
I'm doing good?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
How would you got were all good? ARide Goose Creek
Symphony All.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
Ride my first concert.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
All right, anyway, then let's let's get you three these
three categories.
Speaker 9 (06:55):
You ready, okay, I'm already all right.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Name three human organs Ready to go? Kidneys, liver hot,
there you go.
Speaker 8 (07:07):
Now.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Three characters from that show The Big Bang Theory. Ready go.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
Sheldon had a rope by Linen Len.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, Linen, it looked like him. Uh, Lynn for the wind.
Three weight loss companies, Ready.
Speaker 6 (07:27):
Go, Renny Craig Watchers, and.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Early Nuture System. In my career, remember the TV commercials
me running through a field of days, he's wearing vertical stripes.
They were horizontal, but yes, there were horizontal sideways. They'll
usually make you look fatter. Yeah, I was showing off
uh huh and uh sniffing chiggers. Yeah, sugar of weeds. Okay,
(07:56):
but anyway back to you, Lynn down a goose creek
when in a big old prize fact. We'll get it
to you. Okay, thank you, Okay, I got a special
tree toy on the other side of your new Rabbi
movie reviewer. I want to go see mine Craft this weekend.
(08:20):
He's gonna tell you all about it. Good Friday morning
(08:55):
heading into the weekend, win a big jo on the radio. Well,
the weather is eating up, and so is a big
movie release schedule for the summer. And as usual, nothing
against by a resident critic. Let's welcome back, Rabbi myren
Berg steam show. Owe me, homie, what happening? How are you, Rabbi? Hot?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
It's getting warm outside a couple of days in there,
ninety What the hell do you do with spring? You're bastard.
I can't step outside without making gravy. Give me a
damn break here, I'm eighty years old. No mouth, parwa,
your dumbass.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
You can always move up north fa. Then give up
show business. So I guess you've been bin to the movie.
Speaker 8 (09:42):
No.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I come in here for the stimulating.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Conversation and the off chance that Masie shows up without
a taper. And again I'm a loser as usual.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Of course. I went to the movie, all right, So
what'd you see?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I would be happy to tell you if you would
shut the hell up at two second now. My great
grandkids bugged me to take them with me, so I
had to see something kid friendly. In quotation marks, I
wanted to see that movie about the Last Supper, but
they wanted to see snow White. Did you go snow way.
(10:16):
So I told him to pick something else, and they
wanted to see this mind shaft movie Minecraft. That don't
make no sense. The title, no the movie, Oh you
what a mess. Here's what the press really says. A
mysterious portal posts four misfits into the overworld, a bizarre
cubic wonderland. The trives on imagination to get back home.
(10:39):
They'll have the master the terrain while embarking on a
magical quest with an unexpected.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Craft named Steve. It sounds interesting, except it isn't.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
It's like Wizard of Ours for lazy, stupid people, except
everything in this ours is square.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
For some reason, it was based on some video game.
Oh well, so now it makes perfect sense. That's why
it's crap. How are the actors?
Speaker 6 (11:05):
Well?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
I think I can shuve it up with one word. Nah,
didn't know oh you speak the kids lingo. I didn't
know you were hit to that scene. I didn't know
hardly anyone in it, except for that awkwua guy from
the Superhero Stuff not his best Vike. But if I
had to pick a bright spot in a dull, dumb movie,
(11:26):
it would be that funny fat guy from nat Cho
Mama and Karate Teddy Ben Jack Nicholson.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Jack Black. The actor you're thinking of is Jack Black.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I thought that was the actor whose face was so
leathery he looked like a catches mit us Jack Palance.
I thought that was the guy who could look left
and right at the same time, Us Jack Alum. I
thought that was the love boat guy us Jack Jones.
I thought that was the show where friends sat around
slapping each other in the crunches Jackass. I thought that
(12:04):
was the guy with the beautiful hair that said book him,
Danny Boy.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
That's Jack Lord.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I thought that was the clown and the dunts hat
trying to sell me a baker. That's Jack in the box.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
I thought that was the guy with the orange skin
that only works one day in October. That's Jack o'lanorn.
So who the hell am I thinking? Jack Black?
Speaker 8 (12:25):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
You want to kiss on that guy?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
More crass on his face than Liberachi's chinos.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
What are you?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think he never heard a sunblocker moisturizer. He was
beef jerkie and a snutson o the movie. Ah well,
I give it one and a half Yamaka, mostly because
I like the aqua guy I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
You might have a different opinion.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I mean, if you live in your mother's basement and
play games all day and move food like a bum,
I'm sure this is your favorite movie of the year.
But for guys like me, I need more. See I
read books. Maybe you heard of them. It's like a
whole movie in your head. I don't need Fortnight or
Mario injected into my veins like some sort of cyber junkie.
(13:09):
But you, your bastard, You got no taste, no education,
no clue. You are society's brighten and a shame to
your parents. Do the wil favorite and don't bread. We
don't need any more stupid dead beats. We're full oft
the fix you for thirty five bucks, your bastard, I'm paying,
but it is possible that I could be wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Go in peace, but be sure to see a Mad Night.
It's cheaper, your bastard. Good Friday morning bike shows on
(14:07):
the radio.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Well, well, well, it seems you can't pick up a
phone these days without having to push a button just
to speak to someone in English. If you've ever called
an eight hundred number for tech support, you wind up
trying to figure out what gunga Din is telling you.
(14:36):
I wish everyone would just learn to speak English. And
if you've ever read the Big Show Facebook page or
listen to Wordy Word, you realize that's probably asking a lot,
in some cases, a whole lot. Perhaps the problem is
we real Americans just take English for granted. We've been
(14:59):
doing it for so long long we've forgotten how daunting
a task it might be for someone to learn to
speak English. There's so many don rules to follow, most
of which just don't make any sense. A friend of
mine found this on the Internet and send it to me.
It was on the internet, so you know it's true.
He's a French model. You'll begin with a box, and
(15:26):
the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox became oxen,
not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are
called geese. Yet the plural of moose should never be meace.
You may find one lone mouse, or a nest full
of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hee.
If the plural of man is always called men, why
(15:48):
shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I
spoke of a foot and show you my feet if
you gave me a boot, would a pair be called beat?
If one is a tooth and a whole set of teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beef. Then
one may be that, and three would be those. Yet
(16:10):
had in the plural would never be hose, and the
plural of cat is cats, never COEs. We speak of
a brother and also a brethren, But though we say mother,
we never say methn. The the masculine pronouns are he, his,
and him, But imagine the feminine she.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Shizz and shim.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
In all fanners. I have seen a few shim in
my head.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
But you see what I mean.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Let's face it. English is a crazy language. But if
we explore its paradoxes, we find that, for example, quicksand
is actually quite slow, boxing rings are square, and a
guinea pig is neither from guinea or remotely related to
a pig. And why is it right as right? But
fingers don't fing to think about it. You can make amends,
(17:04):
but not one single amend. If you have a big
box of odds and ends and throw all of them
away except for one, what do you call that?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
Brother? If teach us taught.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Why don't preach us praught If a vegetarian needs vegetables,
what does a humanitarian need? And what other language do
people recite at a play and play at a recital.
We ship by truck and sent cargo by ship. We
have noses that run and feet that smell. We park
in the driveway and drive on the parkway. And how
(17:37):
in the world is a slim chance and a fat
chance the same thing. While wise men and wise guys
are polar opposites, you have to marvel at the unique
insanity of English, where your house can burn up as
it burns down, and you fill in a form while
filling it out, and an alarm goes off by going
(17:59):
on And while I'm thinking of it, if father is pop,
how come mothers not mock? Sometimes I think the folks
who created this mess should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane English.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
What a load of who?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Good morning?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
The big shows on the radio.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Hang on, all right, listen, you mog, it's time to
button your yap.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Say I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Yeah, the Big Show.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
It's big saying bigger than beg.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
It's enormous.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Hey, he's adorable. Good morning, there's a big show on
(19:17):
the radio. And then Toil the weekend man talking about movies.
A great American tank hole guards. He's thinking out him
in a minute right now where the happy boys at.
Speaker 10 (19:40):
I was walking down the street on a sunny day
feeling in my bones, says I have my weed bub
hub imna hap to beat boy. Ima happen to beat boy?
Oh we did good?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
When things are going here? We hey, my little box.
Speaker 11 (19:57):
Pot got hit back car ubble hubbub a hubb.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
But it's guns in the box and put him in
a drawer.
Speaker 11 (20:04):
I'm a have beat boy. I'm a have be boy.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Oh in it good when things are going here?
Speaker 11 (20:10):
We hey, hey, oh forgot all about it for a
month and a half.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Hubbo I looked into the drawer and started to laugh.
Speaker 10 (20:34):
Because i'ma have beat boy. Ima have beat boy. Oh
in the good when things.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Are going here? We hey, hey, good morning. Bike shows
on the radio coming up, John boy Jepardy. Somebody went
one hundred and twenty dollars worth a bull snod cleaning
products made in the USA, drupped hours keep America moving
(21:01):
a bullsnot, make sure they look good doing it. If
on Bullsnaughty truck stops across America, download the Bullsnot at
when you click on the better at the Big Show
dot Com, hang on play four ten minutes. Right now,
It's time for an American minute with Tank Holgar.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Thanks Red, Hey America, Tank holgarth here got a minute
too bad? Make time, Put down your smartphone and dummy up.
I'm gonna lay some food for thought on you. And
if you're anything like the drooling human fungus that runs
wild in this once glorious republic, your noggin has a
bad case of malnutrition. Tell the whole flipping country as
(21:40):
brain starving for a heap and helping of common sense. Well, gus,
what Einstein here? And luck I'm the by god golden
Corral of wisdom. So grab an extra plate or two
and a nice big ice cold glass to shut your donut,
drain and digest this table for one. Find it yourself.
I'm not your mother. My day was tea to be
(22:00):
a real special occasion special because I'm too cheap to
do it very often. And no I'm not talking about
a hooker. But in hindsight, it would probably have been
a better investment and a whole lot cheaper, both financially
and morally. The worst that can happen with a hooker
can be fixed with penicillin, calamine lotion, and a few
hours of doctor Phil. But what I went through was
(22:22):
left me with night terror's chronic nausea and the uncontrollable
urge to slam my junk in a car door. Of course,
I'm talking about it going to the movies. You know,
in the good old days, entertainment did what it was
supposed to do, entertained. When you went to the movies,
you knew what to expect. You cheered the hero and
(22:44):
booed the villain. The dog lived, the boy got the girl,
and the one constant in every last flickering frame of
spectacular celluloid was an unflinching and wavering, unashamed love of
God and country.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
Today, the bad guy the good guy, The dog is
now a cat.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
The boy still gets the girl, but you find out
she used to be a boy, and the boy digs it.
And worst of all, Hollywood's kicked God to the curb
and got rid of the white and blue, and now
they're just playing godless Red.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
Maybe I'm a black and white guy in a technicolor world.
Maybe I believe in the happy ending someplace other than
the massage parlor. Maybe, just maybe I'm living in the past.
You know, a past where tickets were cheap, you didn't
have to take out a second mortgage to buy popcorn,
and when you took your dear, sweet sainted mother to
see Gene Kelly, you sure as hell didn't have to
worry about him cussing a blue streak, spitting on the
(23:39):
American flag, or making out with Danny Kay, at least
not on screen, despite what you might have heard from
some people who were there.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
But they're all dead now, So what the hell are
you gonna do about it?
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Shake my head? What the hell have you done to
our movies America? Personally, I blamed Joe McCarthy. He had
his chance to get the Red Menace out of Hollywood.
They rounded up that Comi trash and gave the pinkos
their pink slips, But he didn't finish the job. All
the turds were right there in the bowl and he
(24:11):
was one flush short of a full septic tag. Fast
forward forty years and now look the historically American institution
of Hollywood, his own lock stock and both barrels by
communist China. Now, how do you feel about ho Chi
mini mouse, Comrade? You like being lectured too by millionaire
propaganda pimps, saying you're stupid because of who you vote for,
(24:34):
all the while running hard to the hoop on behalf
of a crooked old boozehound dressed as an oven mit.
That's some pretty boy. Actor flies his hairstylists across country
on a private jet so he looks good on camera
when he tells you you're destroying the planet because you
drive a truck to work, dare to have more than one.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Kid, and you eat bacon.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
When Americans ran Hollywood, actors were men and actresses were women.
Speaker 5 (24:59):
Now you can't tell them apart.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Girls got crew cuts, Guys got a man bun on
both sides are flat chested. I grew up watching real
men like Jimmy Stewart, James Cagney, and John Wayne. When
war broke out, the biggest stars in Tinseltown suited up
to fight Tojo the hon Hitler and whoever else dared
kick dirt in the face of Lady liberty. Hollywood was
pro America, baby. They started the USO, They sold war
(25:26):
bonds on their own dimond, their own time, and they
put their hand over their heart when they said the
Pledge of Allegiance. Now, the warriors they support aren't the
great American military kind.
Speaker 5 (25:37):
They're the social justice kind.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And the only place they put their hand is in
your pocket to steal your heart earned dollar to make
sure some third world dirt worshiper votes for their side.
In return, you're forced to watch their wicked commie agenda
dressed up like windbreaking emojis, foul mouth superheroes, and cowboys
that don't write horses.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
What the hell?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Well, well, look at the time, have overstayed my welcome.
But you know what they say, tough crap, you're welcome.
This is tag hole guy, Stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Well, I've played John Boyd. Do you ever to get
us a winner of the Bull's not products here We're
so proud of despite what you've seen in the movies.
This was the main reason pioneers in the Old West
would circle their wagons. What's to create a private port
so nobody would see him going poo poo. No, but
(26:58):
good guess thanks one at your Big Show, you told
free line what you got poo poop? We go do
we the winn? We play John Boy Jepardy next. Good morning,
(27:35):
it's a big show on the radio wheel rolling through
your Friday with that feature track from the Big Show,
Big Box, Buddy Beer, mister Mexican Construction Guy, the words
construction Guy hit the Big Box at the Big Show
dot Com. Right now, let's play Yeses live across America.
Is job Boy Jeopardy? Why? And now a man who says,
(27:58):
you know you really can't always he's blamed the bear.
I mean, he's seen plenty of sober people do some
pretty stupid stuff. He joy had ha out as ahead
of Mike got a Somerton in South Carolina. Good morning, Mike,
Good morning, John Boy. How are you today?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Man?
Speaker 1 (28:18):
I gotta sit on both hands so I ain't waving
it everybody. Well, d wait, no, that's how ugly you are. Yeah,
Loving Friday, Mike, I hope you doing good, buddy, fantastic day.
All right, then, well you got the first shot of
(28:39):
John Boy Jeopardy. So let's see what you know about
the Old West despite what you've seen in the movies.
This was the main reason pioneers in the Old West
would circle their wagons. The reason was I know this.
My grandfather told me.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
They put their horses and their cows and this wouldn't
run away, just to fence him in, corral them in?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Who corral the live stock? Will? Let's see, well, you
and your grandfather all over. I believe I believe that
story about his grandfather's too, randy. Okay, temporary corral for
(29:20):
the stuff. Okay, awesome, man, Mike, when you hang on
that knowledge brought you one hundred and twenty dollars worth
of bulls not cleaning products headed over to Summerton for you.
That sounds very awesome.
Speaker 10 (29:34):
Thank you' all very much.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
All right, buddy, bottom of the hour, topp of your news.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Iterated a turner up, bang on the drum.
Speaker 11 (29:50):
I'll bring him on his eyes.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Good morning. Makes show's on the radio Friday mornings. All
let's get it.
Speaker 10 (30:34):
And before eleven o'clock tonight, mister, you better find your
dove another line of work that one sure. Don't pick
your fistil it's one hundred.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
And six miles to Chicago. We got a full tank
of gas, half a pack of cigarettes.
Speaker 10 (30:47):
It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Hit it.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I hate work, I hate work, I hate work. I've
been having a very bad days. I do okay, I
don't need I'm just stick.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Don't work.
Speaker 8 (31:24):
Okay, this.
Speaker 5 (31:27):
Bay my don't go back day.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Don't They just told sister she's got me back.
Speaker 6 (31:51):
Yeah, day.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Working work, work, work, work, work work, man, what are
we gonna do?
Speaker 8 (32:04):
Man?
Speaker 1 (32:04):
We got to get out of here.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
We have a light.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
I mean, do you do anything beside this creepy stuff?
What do you do for fun?
Speaker 5 (32:11):
Oh no, we don't have fun.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
We just we just work.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
Here's here's our fun.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Right work work work, work, work work work work.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Well.
Speaker 5 (32:18):
I realized my father makes a lot of money, but
you see he's.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Not giving me any. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (32:22):
Weekend, Sday, Sunday, the time between work and more work,
the time when you go looking for happiness and end
up punched over somewhere else's toilet.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
The weekend things are at their darkest.
Speaker 11 (32:33):
Pal, It's a brave man. I can kick party.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
All is with taste?
Speaker 8 (32:39):
You is.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Cool?
Speaker 11 (32:42):
Bud Off five?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Oh no, I am I today I'm having cat paid
work work what what?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
What?
Speaker 8 (33:40):
What?
Speaker 5 (33:40):
What's what's work?
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I work, I work, I hate works, studious.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Good Friday morning, there's a big sea on the radio.
You what evans around the time every Friday track over
the brand new script Getting the Playhouse All in the
Places in action.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Hello friends, you're all pal Burt Bird here with another
nurple purpling edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode the Nude Beach. As our story opens, a mother
and her young son are seated on their beach blanket.
Speaker 7 (34:49):
Let's get a little sun and then we'll go in
the water for a swim.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Where's dad?
Speaker 7 (34:54):
He went to the concession stand for some drinks.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Mom, Can I ask a question? Of course, why are
we at a nude beach?
Speaker 6 (35:02):
We're a progressive family's son. We feel it's the right
thing to expose you to all sorts of lifestyles.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Emphasis on the word exposed. Some of these people shouldn't
be naked now.
Speaker 6 (35:12):
Now this family believes in body positivity. Those behemoths have
the same right to be naked as everyone else. Disgusting
though it may.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Be, I noticed that all these women have different.
Speaker 7 (35:23):
Size blouse bunnies.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, yeah, oh they put you to shame. WOWSA Well,
just so.
Speaker 7 (35:30):
You know, the bigger they are, the dumber the owner, and.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
All of these guys, all the different sizes.
Speaker 7 (35:37):
Of ding dongs. Yeah, yeah, well just so you know,
the bigger they are, the dumber the owner.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Wow, this has been a real eye opener, more than
that field trip to the drag Queen story hour.
Speaker 7 (35:49):
I am parched. Where is your father with our drinks?
Speaker 11 (35:52):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Look now, but he's right over there where, over by
the showers.
Speaker 7 (35:56):
What on earth is he doing?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
He's talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and
the longer they talk, the dummer he gets.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Son of us. Hello, we hope you enjoyed John Boy
and Billy playhouse. Has he ever been that dumb with you?
Speaker 7 (36:17):
Turn around?
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the big girl
Sunblock bender with the bucket and rollers.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 12 (36:28):
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted morney.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
You may hear the Big Show. Where's my big bag?
Who can't be topical? Good morning, It's a big show
(37:26):
on the radio, and this is your one hour alert
for John Boy's Wonderful Thing. Number one hundred and forty
is a hardback copy of the book The Whole Truth
about Spring Turkey Hunting according to Ronniccuz Strickland Amasio autograph
about Grand Slam Holder that would be yours truly, but
afore mentioned author the best in abuz my boy, cause,
(37:48):
hey man Jackie giment name, I'm gonna be sure to
shout out from my boy from the coast of North
Carolina's donating the offshore fishing trip. Thank you right here
Kent King out of Elm City, North Carolina. Kids gonna
donate a fishing trip for our child's Wish organization regranting
(38:09):
fishing and hunting trips for kids and veterans their families
free of charge. And let me say, it was just
just came in Tater's I sent it to Bridget okay orright,
I got you okay? So you got that to her,
she said, Tell John Boy, I got back last night
from Alabama where we held our eighteenth annual fishing event
(38:32):
on Lake Gunnersville. We had a record number of fish
called at this event. One boat caught around thirty baths
somewhere in four to five pounds. Four to five pounds,
that's good. Another called a catfish weighing around seventy pounds.
There were thirteen total disabled kids and families. Everyone filled
their boats with fish. Attached to a few of the
(38:55):
pictures and we'll get those dates. An upcoming events see
South Carolina Fishing event is next with twenty families scheduled
for May ninth and tenth. New York Fishing event for
twenty families on June fifth and sixth. Wisconsin Great Lakes
Fishing Event for twenty families June thirteenth and fourteenth. See
(39:15):
United Special Sportsman Alliance All volunteer at five O one
C three nonprofit charitable organization. You to get in touch
with them, go to Childswish dot org is Child's wish
at gmail dot com, the email special kids Wish dot org.
So thank you.
Speaker 7 (39:35):
Ways to get in touch.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Oh Jack Bridget, thank you, thank you, thank you Bridge.
Awesome and thank you all. May You're awesome, awesome, what
you are? Good? Good morning, Big shows on the radio,
Hango with Chicken Friday Friday Morning, Sell from My Boys,
Zach First, tell you about you Can't Win and a
sworm of a swag from World Lawnmowers is the best
value zero turn mowes on the market, three year, unlimited
(39:58):
hours warning commercial great Kawasaki Engines heavy duty fabricated decks
starting at just twenty nine, nine and nine. Say who's
that good looking cowboy riding the steel horse? All that'd
be me? Oh world long, tough on grass, easy on
your wallet. See the pictures at the John Boy Billy
Facebook page.
Speaker 7 (40:17):
Was I the only one that looked around the room?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
Cowboy on a horse? I ride completely ruined? Old good
rock song, Hang on, We'll play more than minutes.
Speaker 9 (40:42):
New Alima, Chicken Friday, cold beer on Friday.
Speaker 13 (40:46):
Night, a pair of jeans and fit just right, and
the radio a lot of spreads of 'em need shed
(41:07):
of Georgia pine and that's home, you know, sweet tea
can pine homemade. Why where the peaches grow in my house?
Speaker 9 (41:17):
It's not much to talk about, but it's feeling. Love
is grown in southern ground and a little bit of
chicken Friday, Got beer on.
Speaker 8 (41:31):
Friday night, a pair of cheese that fits us right,
and the radio.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
A lot see the song rides, See the love in
my Mama's eyes?
Speaker 8 (41:44):
Feel it touch of impress us child.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
You know when there's.
Speaker 9 (41:50):
Where it's funny how it's the simple things in life
that mean most, not where you live, what you drive over,
the brist a on your clothes. There's no dollar sign
on a piece of mind the side come to note.
So if you agree, have a drink with me, raising
(42:11):
glasses fall toes to a little bit of chicken file.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
Don't beer on Friday night.
Speaker 8 (42:18):
A pair of jeans, a feature us righting and the radio,
A lot to see some rid seen love in my
mama's eides bee, a touch of a pressure, us child,
you go with my thurst, lay that fiddle man, Thank
(43:11):
God for my life, for the stars and stripes, May
freedom forever fly.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Let it bring.
Speaker 9 (43:22):
Salute the ones who die, the ones that give their
lives so we don't have to sacrifice all the things
we love.
Speaker 8 (43:35):
Lie our chicken frow. Don't beer on Friday night, apparent
of jeans to fit to us right and the radio,
but not to see the song see loving my woman's eyes.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Feel the touch of impressure us.
Speaker 9 (43:54):
Child, know when mothers.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Give me a little chicken fried. Don't be here on
Friday night.
Speaker 8 (44:03):
Apparently submit just right and radio, but I see son,
see love in a woman's eyes, be the chug of
a precious child.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
No, woman, there's the.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
I know you can render like that man? All right, man,
that guys recording the Big Show studio. Well, let's play
Beating the Blonde for the big old World Long Moors
prize packed one. Ain't under the Big Show, you told
free Line. We'll get a contestant play nex
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Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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