August 15, 2025 • 39 mins
Friday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ve got all of our usual Friday musical favorites.. - The Not Ready For Drive Time Players head to Ireland for a battle of the bad accents - as John Boy and Tater perform their best Irish accents with a script entitled, “The Irish Brawl”.. - John Boy gives away more of his “Wonderful Things”.. - Tom Sorenson checks in with this week’s report on the world of sports.. - Marvin Webster looks a Stupid People.. - and Marci expands the hearts and minds of voiceover work hopefuls with the Tater Moran Academy of Accents and Dialects…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good more than everybody more Big Show to come. Hang
where you are, yo, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This is Nike and for all of five one one
you need on all things redneck.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Just check out my two favorite crackers, John bro and
Bitley right here on the Big Show. I listened to
something else my own self, but white boy Patrick Dunn broke.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Off the knob in the Cadillac.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Patrick never mind, heets out.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Let's get up mad at it is Friday, August fifteen, Friday,
all right, came quick this week? So that happened when
you skip a couple of work days.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
We wouldn't know.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
What?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
All right, Hard It's it's the day before my birthday?
Does that matter?
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Yeah, yeah, Randy's birthday eve. Like that, I'm gonna get late, okay,
all right, we'll celebrate, David. Remember that when you're handling
out getting us up tomorrow on the Saturday Show. He's
getting late. You know, I ain't, no boy, I don't
(01:53):
believe it anyony me too. Alright, we got it, all right?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Thanks, just gonna come and uh to us here with
Tom Sorenson. All right, good, yeah, okay, I'm just checking
on that, looking at that final hour giving away my
wonderful thing number one hundred and fifty two. So if
you hadn't yet to get your name and a half
of that souvenir draw stream tote perfect for toating stuff,
of course from one of our favorite tracks, Bristol Motor Speedway.
(02:25):
All right, got three days in this received up.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
We'll get to those.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Get the first prize back out and get the winning
beginning told you got about half a playing big Shoe.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It's on a radio.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Good morning, Big Show's on a radios. Get that first
prize back out. A Blue Emu prize pack includes two
jars of blue Emu non greasy Relief or whatever pains you.
Blue Emu works fast and you won't stink. Plus a
tube of pbc OTC itcher releaf cream. This is fast
prescription strength itchery leaf from insect bites, poison, ivy, sunburn,
(02:58):
all your summertime itches and more. Pb cootc saved for
the whole family.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Three days in history where we're gonna have three categories.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
It was nineteen eleven Procter and Gamble of Cincinnati and
her new Chrisco had drudgenated short name Chrisco is lard.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Was that more healthy than lard Crisco when I came
out lard is.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Actually more healthy, but you'll get an argument than vegetable.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Well, just thinking about Chrisco's uses. Nineteen seventy, during a
semi pro game in Orlando, Patricia Polankis became the first
woman to be paid for playing football. She played for
the Orlando Panthers of the Atlantic Coast League in the
game against the Bridgeport Jets. She was a wife of
the place kicker and held the ball for him three
(03:47):
times during the game. Right, Kathy Ireland kind of supermodel.
She was like a field goal kicker in a movie. Yeah,
I need you to research it. Found the title I
need to see. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Two thousand and two. Then finally, authorities in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania,
charged a thirty year old man from public drunkenness after
the slowest police chase on record. The man was cruising
down the street at three miles an hour on the
Childs Fisher Price power wheels called yea, those can be
(04:21):
tricked out.
Speaker 7 (04:24):
There.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
You go think about some toys laying around the yard
and we'll do it. One eight hundred big show you
toll free line. We play out birds next.
Speaker 8 (04:57):
Good morning, that's a big show already your.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Friday, August fifteenth. Our feature track from the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Box tATu Moran's Academy of Accents and Dialect.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You were Taytor Academy. Yeah, girl, you're gonna want to
hang around play house a couple of hours, a little hit.
We gotta go over Taylor Accents for everybody. Right now,
we want to get the winning.
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Upburst.
Speaker 10 (05:30):
Let's play Upburst.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It's the game that anyone can win. Jon Boy Billy
to give the puzzes from the big Prize game. Let's
go me contested number one.
Speaker 9 (05:44):
This should really be a lot of funks when you're
playing Upburst. Have a hurry up and guest time you
love the best time you love a big shots.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Let's stay hid a jumma from Mary all and I'll say.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Morning boy.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
All right, well, let's get you through these three categories
and get you that big old prize pack over to you.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Sober about Let's see I got to start off with
in five seconds, mind you three reasons that you'll use
Chris Co Ready.
Speaker 11 (06:38):
Ready go.
Speaker 12 (06:41):
Greathe my skillet, bacon, an ingredients and skin moisture.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Well, I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Maybe chickens get out in the country. Right there we go, Jama,
here we go. Three three positions on a football team. Yeah,
football team positions.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Goes quarterback, line back, lide, receiver, and shows with.
Speaker 10 (07:16):
Next out you go.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
All right down, here you go for the wind. Three
children's outdoor toys.
Speaker 10 (07:28):
Ready go.
Speaker 12 (07:30):
Say a power wheel's bossycle, digging worms, commonares and.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
She just yone on the gun away, Jamma, you got
the big old blue Emy prize pack and any itches
as you pick up this summer, the PBC O T
C Itch Relief cream will take care of those. This
is the best. This is the best stuff we've had
in a while. I got an itch. I need, I
(08:02):
need to give a shout out.
Speaker 13 (08:03):
Y'all, my sweet I love you, duck man, don't love you.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Appreciate y'all ing on jam and duck one moving around Marravile, Tennessee.
I like man that they fun hung out with you.
Sound like boom hour. I'll tell you what I think.
No Internet trying to talk, she said, don't you worry
about her?
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Love?
Speaker 10 (08:31):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Go well, Oh, good morning, it's a big show on
(09:07):
the radio. It's Friday morning, right, Smack and dabb in
the middle of August. We're the happy Boys.
Speaker 13 (09:23):
I was walking down the street on a sunny day.
Bubba feeling in my bones, says, I have my wee
bubble hubble. Ima have to be boy, Ima hap.
Speaker 10 (09:34):
To be boy? Oh we did good? When things are
going here? We hey, Hey, my little.
Speaker 13 (09:39):
Box spot got hit by a car. Ubble hubbubb but
it's guns in the box and put him in a drawer.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Ubb.
Speaker 10 (09:46):
Oh, i'ma have to be boy. Oh, I'm a happy boy.
Oh and good when things are going here?
Speaker 11 (09:53):
We hey, Oh, forgot all about it for a month
and a half.
Speaker 10 (10:14):
I looked through the drawer and started to laugh because
I might have to be boy. Have me boy and
good when things are going here? We hey, good.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Friday morning big shows on the radio. Well, our oldest
fan and longtime visitor is out and about today. He
he ain't letting us summer. He'd keep him away from
his moving around. So let's welcome back, Nerve, old tea Wheeler,
Come on in nerve, Lord of miney.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
I was gonna ask you how low the ac goes
in here, but I'm pretty dang sure it's set.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
On polar Yeah, Well you know it's the summer. I
like a cold studio. Hell, I guess you do. You
can make a few extra dollars renting out this space
to hang meat. We can we get you a jacket
or something.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
You got to Parker's laying around. Hell, even Randy got
the high beams on the day.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
It's better than the heat anyway.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Yeah, hell, I suppose you're right about that. You know
I've been through one hundred and six summers. Heat never
did bother me much. And tell us you aint really Yeah,
I prove it. You know how I always wear my
shirt button up to the top.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Look at here.
Speaker 6 (11:45):
Yeah, you undid them top to button. Well, I figured
if it's good enough for Tainer, it's good enough for it.
Try and control yourselves, ladies, I ain't fishing.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
For a deep A lot of it is the humidity. Oh,
you're right about that.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Near killed me last week.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Well what happened?
Speaker 6 (12:02):
I jumped up on the out half seat and dang
near hydroplaned into the big hole. You always hear the
weather guys talking about relative humidity. Yeah, I don't understand
what that is. Relative humidity to me is when your
cousin is so sweaty she keeps sliding that from under you.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
A lot of folks used corn starch. Have you ever
tried that?
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Yes, sir, I did, I did. All I ever got
was gravy. All I needed was a yeast infection. The
hell I could have made biscuits breakfast.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Sir, I guess, I.
Speaker 6 (12:32):
Guess we should consider ourselves lucky around here. You know,
you go further south and it just gets worse. As
in Florida a few year ago, the only time I
ever saw a funeral procession go through the dairy Queen
drive through, saw a homeless fella holding a sign that said,
we'll work for shade. So dad, come hot. That Jehovah's
(12:53):
witnesses started sending email so blasted hot. When I hear
someone break wind, I jumped by hand them.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Just for the bringing.
Speaker 6 (13:01):
Well, I'd never been there, desperate, Why the hell would
you be working at our station zebra here?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Well, I'm gonna ski that line.
Speaker 6 (13:09):
I'm gonna get a refill on that coffee.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Just get me back to square. Will you help yourself?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Well, I'm on a mosie and keep your saddle all
in your gun grazed and holler up.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
And you need me good more than everybody The Big
Show is right here on the radio. Saved me, Praised,
You're lifted.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
The two fine lads two Boite dedicated to putting on
your face and a song in your heart as long
as you'll buy you their bloody grilling sauce, John Boy
and Billy on the Big Show Face and Big.
Speaker 11 (14:14):
Good Morning.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
This will make showing the radio for your Friday morning
man one of the TV shows. Well, we grew up
with Tyers a little before your time, I know, from
a Dick Van Dyke show. By the way, calling her
age of mrd as just a second, I wanted to
tell you a little Ritchie, the kid on the Dick
Van Dyke Show, his birthday the day, seventy years old today,
(14:37):
the little Richie.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
Man.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
He's always yelling. I thought he was always yelling. He
talking with a loud talker.
Speaker 11 (14:43):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Oh Mary Tyler Moore, she was hot back in the day.
You know she's wearing them U pants on. Yeah Weather
Show had two separate beds in their bedroom. Yeah, noticed
things like that when I was we don't need anymore.
(15:08):
I think we got our connection. Now, let's make this call.
Speaker 7 (15:11):
Hello, Red Hot Turn Incorporated, your spokesperson source for thirty
five years. If you want to sell cars, if you
want to sell beers, We're ready to give you the
ultimate pitch man at a place that most definitely isn't
a bitch man.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Okay, hey, missus bestows this you no? This is yeah?
Speaker 10 (15:31):
Yeah right?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
John Morribilly here baby, how's you love life going?
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Well?
Speaker 7 (15:35):
Actually, I've been seeing a well known celebrity lady.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh who is that?
Speaker 7 (15:40):
I'll give you a hint. Okay, he was a media
sensation at the Atlanta Olympics and he's been raking in
the big bucks ever since.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
You mean Michael Johnson.
Speaker 7 (15:49):
No, Richard Jewell.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
For Richard Jewell.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
You know you can't tell him to see an interlass.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
But he's got a really cute But say the only
reason you like man's buns because that's where they keep
their wallets.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Oh, I just hope you know what you're doing. I
can handle if you say so. Listen is Murray in
hold on?
Speaker 7 (16:08):
I'll ask him?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Thank you, Murray, Jimbo and Bobby on two? What tell
him on the phone.
Speaker 7 (16:15):
Tell him you're on the phone with another client, Murray.
Speaker 13 (16:18):
We don't have any other clients.
Speaker 7 (16:20):
Yes, I'm sure.
Speaker 13 (16:22):
No, remember the human dartboard guy.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
He walked out last week. He told you, thank you, Hello,
Murray Love.
Speaker 14 (16:35):
You mean, yeah, hey, may I tell you this morning?
I feel just like Tom Cruise in that movie Jerry Maguire.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
You mean you're keeping your client less small so you
can concentrate on a few choice names.
Speaker 14 (16:46):
No, I mean at this point it's down to me
and my ditsy secretary and a gold fish and a
zip lock bag. Also, the landlord keeps calling a saying
show me the money.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
May show I.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Thought you told me the other day you're getting ready
to sign a couple of hot new acts. What about
that rock and roll band you were gonna meet with?
Speaker 14 (17:04):
I didn't work out taus out they were a little
bit too wild.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
What do you mean the music?
Speaker 14 (17:08):
No, no, no, the lifestyle. Whole band had big time problem.
What kind of problems substance abuse? Oh yeah, I'll tell you, Jimbo.
These guys had been in betty Ford more than Gerald.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
What happened with that motorsports artists you wanted to help
sell the limited edition prints?
Speaker 14 (17:27):
This guy was not quite ready for prime time. He
did a painting of Earnhardt. Actually it was a pretty
good likeness.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
So what was the problem.
Speaker 14 (17:34):
Well, instead of driving a race car, he was sitting
around a big table with a bunch of dogs playing poker.
Not exactly the kind of thing that'll fly off for
souvenir trade.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Yes, now with Jamrse, sounds like you having kind of
a rough time lately, Jimbo.
Speaker 14 (17:47):
This business is a cycle. There's good times and there's
lean times. I've been up, I've been down, and one
thing I know for sure, down suck, but it doesn't
last forever.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Well, have you ever had a client make it? Really?
Speaker 14 (18:00):
Are you kidding? I've had clients whose names are household
words today. I who Eduardo, Santa Flash, Diane Pamperin, Kathleen,
da Hill, James Earl, Koex you need I go.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
No, it's fine, But did you have anybody make it
big that we might have heard of?
Speaker 14 (18:17):
Of course, hey, great story. As a matter of fact,
it was right after I started the agency in nineteen
sixty eight. This kid comes to the office, tallis, He's
good looking in a goofy kind of way. He says,
I want to be in showbiz. I said, okay, kid,
what do you got? Can you dance? And right there
in the office he does a picture perfect recreation of
Gene Kelly from Singing in the Rain. Amazing stuff. I said, wow,
(18:39):
I said, can you sing? He builts up this meddley
of tunes from the Music Man and My Fair Lady.
He was fantastic, So I said, well can you act?
He does all four Marx Brothers from a Night at
the Opera. He throws in a little law and Hardy
and tossed it off with a side splitting Jack lemon
Tony Curtis thing from some like God. It was unbelievable.
(18:59):
I jumped him behind the desk. I said, Paul, you
got it all. You can sing, you can dance, you
can act, you can do comedy. You're gonna be a
huge star. I wanna sign you to a five year deal.
What's your name? He says, Penis van Lesbian. He said, woah,
the first thing you need is a new name. And
guy says, what do you mean? I said, well, we
gotta get you a stage name here, pal, and he
(19:21):
gets kind of huffy on me. He says, why do
we have to do that? I said, well, because you're
never gonna make it in show business with a name
like Penis van Lesbian. Nobody's gonna put a name like
that on a theater marquee.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
He says, well, why not, I said, because it's offensive.
Speaker 14 (19:36):
Oh oh, he gets really mad. Then I'll have you know.
I'm very proud of my name. The Van Lesbian family
has a long and distinguished history, and Penis was my
grandfather's name. It was my father's name, and it's my name.
I'm not changing it for you or anybody else. I said, well,
good luck finding an ancient will handle you with a
name like that. Guy rips the contract in half, throws
(19:57):
it in my face, and storms out of the office.
So about two weeks later, this guy comes back in.
He's not quite as puffed up as he was before.
You know, of course I could figure out what had happened.
At this point, I said, Tennis, baby greatness. See you
how the ancient search going? He says, wow, not very well. Actually,
I've gone to almost every agent in Hollywood. They also
(20:17):
had the same thing you did. They love my stuff,
but they think the name Penis van Lesbian is never
gonna fly. You know, I think you are right. I'm
gonna have to change it to something more marketable. So,
since you were the first guy to offer me a deal,
I decided to come back and give you the first shot.
You come up with a name, I'll sign with you.
So I did, and he did, and the rest is history.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Well, go, okay, So what name did you come up with?
Speaker 14 (20:41):
Every heir of a guy named Dick Van Dyke?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Is that a true story?
Speaker 14 (20:50):
Hey, babe, I would never lie to you. Hey, listen,
I gotta.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Run after bate the bushes for some new clods.
Speaker 14 (20:57):
Now I'm have to watch Cartoon Carnival before the cable
turn off.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
That's Billy, I'm.
Speaker 14 (21:03):
Telling what.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Good morning? I got the Big Show on the radio.
All right. Libless was jealous of Astro Nerd getting to
do some stand up last week, so I said, all right,
get your best summertime material and practice. So hang on,
we're gonna let him in the door. Let me tell
you about what you can win if you play John
Boy Jeopardy and win.
Speaker 7 (21:25):
We go.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Do we get one every morning? It's a one hundred
and twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made
in the USA. Look for bull Snout at truck stops
across America. Download the bull Snot app when you hit
the Big Show dot Com. All right, we promis him.
Come on, labels horning there, y'all horned?
Speaker 15 (21:45):
All you wig show hey hold you and yackeh hell
you arrant?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
I need jacking out?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
You hang on right? You don't want you won't worry.
Speaker 10 (21:55):
I want it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I think you got it. World, Well hard time here again?
Well season out? All we are hot. It does get
hot in the summer.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
You don't touch my talking and areeze kind of cools.
We're all.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I'm wrong?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
A what load my hayvard yoking about summer time?
Speaker 10 (22:19):
But summertime.
Speaker 16 (22:22):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
The falls begin, the balls, let the goo falls be?
Where do sheep saying there's summer vacation?
Speaker 12 (22:33):
Where does sheep spend their summer vacation in the Bahamas?
Speaker 10 (22:41):
Why not like that?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Why somewhere cool?
Speaker 11 (22:44):
Cold?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I can't take a sweater off, can't take their sweater?
Where do sharks go on vacation? Where do sharks finland?
You know where? I had held an'ty word and won't
an What do you get when you called her elephunt
(23:06):
with a whish?
Speaker 12 (23:07):
What did you get when you cross an elephant with
a fish swimming trunks?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I had I don't know what look out when it
was a canon wall in the womb. Oh there you go,
all right? Okay? Who's Irish and he's outside all summer long?
Speaker 12 (23:33):
Who's Irish and stays outside all summer long? Patty old furniture?
Speaker 15 (23:42):
I had old skin cancer? Lukie skin cancer. What's the
shame to do if you lose your job at the
Hunt lotion factory?
Speaker 12 (23:54):
The best thing to do if you lose your job
at the sun Tan Lusi factory. Real apply every thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I had take a good hard look at you, like
cause you probably could do that life coach right right?
Why couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new Pirate? I couldn't the little kid get in to
see the new pirate? New Pirate? It was rated. I
(24:27):
have no idea.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
That's it you have? I had?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It shows who was woody? It shows too much booty.
Why does you woe never take o cake?
Speaker 12 (24:39):
Why does the mommy mummy never take a summer vacation? Well,
he's scared to unwind?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Got he waited?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Why not because I had called him dead? Because he's
I got to wear finished finish.
Speaker 15 (25:00):
What's the only time you go while it's ran it's
top when it hurts green.
Speaker 12 (25:06):
The only time you go while it's red and stop
when it turns green. When you're eating a watermelon.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
That summer time for I had when you drunk? When
you're drunk, said, where's traut? Next time? What he lists
saying this is yo what he lives. Listen, y'all halloishes
over a well who baster.
Speaker 10 (25:37):
Damn well?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy review yesterday's question. We found
out in eighteen thirty three Andrew Jackson became the first
US president to ride one of these.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
While in office.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
And what is that train?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Is a train?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. This body part, when removed for transplant,
can survive outside the body longer than any other organ.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
What was formally inside the body? Okay, what you all got?
What a hundred big show you told? Free Live. We
played John boyd Jeopardy. Next Fine a morna.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
That's a big showing the radio worlding do your Friday
me I featured Drag with the Big Show bit Box TAYT.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Moran's Academy of Accents and Dialect.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Don't you know Worring Academy, Bob hit the Big Joe
dot comy Right now, let's play.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeahs live across America. It's John Boyd now your host.
Speaker 13 (27:13):
He is an official organ donor, but says he'd like
to hang on the ones he's got for now.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
But he didn't see this dog on the internet. Well
you know, John boy.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
As I had a Mark out of Princeton, West Virginia.
Good morning, Mark, you're marring to you, John boy Man
doing awesome?
Speaker 10 (27:37):
Mark?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
How are you? I'm hanging in, hanging out and hanging out,
bro getting back at a boy.
Speaker 10 (27:47):
Mark.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
You got first shot at John boy Jeopardy this morning.
So uh, let's look at it. This body part, when
removed for transplant, can survive outside the body longer than
any of organ.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
What do you think? Oh man, I just dawning on you.
How about how about your heart? How about the heart?
Let's say, yeah, it sounds like it. I don't know.
(28:24):
I saw the movie here playing, so I know that.
Speaker 7 (28:26):
Well.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Mark, we appreciate you playing buddy. We'll give you another
shot down the road.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
All right, all right, thank you so much. This my
first time playing. I thank you.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
All right, Damn Mark, Mark, we have a great day
up in Princeton. Let's go to what we've got. Derek
is in a rocking point, North Carolina. Good morning, Derek.
Hey buddy, you are coach Mark thought it was a
heart So.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
What are you thinking? What organ you got in your head?
The lungs, the lungs, let's say say, yes, that is wild.
It is I rememver would have thought that. All right, well,
(29:15):
look look at us learning stuff here, b there.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
You got it, buddy, the bull snot prize pack one
hundred and twenty dollars worth heading.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Over the rocky point for you. Awesome. Thanks alright, buddy.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
Bottom of the hours, top of your news, right on
the on the side. I remember in Rayford for our
Friday morning and DeBie Dunbar over the back fence, good morning,
(30:15):
to make show us on the radio. Will He is
not a doctor, but he plays one on radio sometime.
And doctor Rayford says the swimming pool is not only
the best exercise, but a good place to meditate.
Speaker 16 (30:30):
Tell people your exercise routine has been reduced to swimming
laps and they'll agree it's the best way to be
considerate of your joints. My joints are suffering from too
many years of running, so I've cut back to an
easy routine of twenty minutes on the treadmill or walk
in the track, twenty minutes in the weight room no
heavy barbell stuff, and twenty minutes swimming laps. And if
(30:51):
I can count walking the dogs and mowing the lawn,
I'll skip the treadmill. To boring anyway, Swimming is the
most isolating of sports. Even long distance runners have scenery
to look at. Swimming is totally fascinating. It is true
that boredom can set in, but so can zen calm.
As torture gives way to pleasure, blood pressure goes down,
(31:14):
and the water lists the spirit as well as the body,
finding yourself while losing yourself, giving yourself up to the
supporting medium. Not supporting medium, of course, the water and
the least cover you can wear, the better. Bulky cotton
swim trunks hold you back. The speedo is the best.
Just jump in the pool real quick, though, never parade
(31:35):
around because you're shoeing. No Adonis, and always wear goggles
and earplugs and a bathing cap is good to keep
your hair from turning yellow. Some tips on meditating and
swimming from Robert d Rafer, John Boy and Billy Show.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
You said more than there's a big show on the radio.
All right, we get a chance pull over. You gotta
play attention here. This is gonna be classic, I feel it.
No pressure, Tater, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Thanks action.
Speaker 17 (32:26):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode The
Irish Brawl. As our story opens, Sister Mary Marcy McDougall
is talking to the assistant groundskeeper at the Sisters of
Perpetual Motion Convinence.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
So anywise, true feeman bushes back a bit, and don't
forget to we behind the dining hall.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I'll keep right on the season. Well, we really rather
be telling all this to your supervisor. Where is all Nancy?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I don't rightly know, sister, Stop talking to me, Mexican handyman.
Morning folks. Sorry further delay. Well now.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Glad you could join us for a little work before lunchtime.
You know, if you're gonna be late, you really should
let a feller know.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Mind your tongue, peppy, I mean, no mood for a
bunch of lip from a Presbyterian like you.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Good gravy Clancy. Where'd you get that nasty looking shiner?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
The same place you got your accent, Jimmy, it's a
long story, Jumping Judice, you got bumps and bruises off,
pumping down both your arms.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
That's a big, long cruise.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
What did that sweet do with Mexican Yanna? Got a
nasty knot on top of me head too.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Youin't been brawling in the pubs again, have you? I
told you to stay out of there.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Tough sister, the old the only thing worse than brave
heart here lecture me about being late? Is you telling
me to stay under the pubs? Everyone in town knows
you've done more shots than Cape Canaveralon.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yeah, yeah, you gonna tell us how you got beat up?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Well now, you being a nun, I ain't gonna lie
to you. I've been mucking about with a married woman.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
A married woman here an echo in here.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I I met her over at the Chelsea Street Market,
commonly last name of bridge to too great, big gobs
of wavy red hair, a light dust enough records right
across the bridge of her nose. She's a perfect Irish.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Beauty and married to eh.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
I I've seen the widden ring on her finger. But
she was so fine and soft and sweet, smelling like
Peppy over there. I just couldn't help meself. So one
thing led to another and she invited me back to
her flat.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
So is that where she beats you up?
Speaker 2 (35:07):
All right, seed, you work for emigration.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Where's the rest of me?
Speaker 10 (35:10):
Crew?
Speaker 2 (35:14):
It wasn't her that did the beating, you talking spud.
It was her husband come home and caught us just
as we commenced to get her freaka.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
In walks.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Mister Patrick O'Toole himself.
Speaker 5 (35:29):
Patrick O'Toole, that bonny little fellow that runs the pharmacy.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Hey, that's him. I can't believe he done all this.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Patrick O'Toole's five foot nothing as skinny as the morning paper.
He must have had something in his hand.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Wait to maintain the illusion, I that he did a
walking stick with a big honker of a brass ball
on the end of it, and he commenced to beat
me with it six ways from Sunday.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Still, you're more than twice his size. Didn't you have
nothing in your own hand?
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I missus O'Toole's rear end and a thing of beauty
it is, too, but pretty much useless in a fight.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy play.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
House, and your spiky head of Harry could have put
his eye out you won't made to tramp the shres.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Tune it again next time. And when we hear crusty
old mother Superior say, hey, big man, let me hold
a dollar.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Why have you and the rest of the un go
and do it somewhere?
Speaker 1 (36:39):
This makes show on the radio. John bock Ben and Tanner.
Speaker 18 (36:43):
Fellers ran to Jackie and you listening, Hi a pal,
you are listening the toe of the funniest guys on
the radio. And my fraternity brothers at the Raccoon Lodge,
John Boy and Philly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Are they funny? Are they funny?
Speaker 13 (37:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Hell, good morning. It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Here's you one hour alert for John Boys wonderful thing giveaway.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
It's number one hundred.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
And fifty two assuming their drawstring tote Bristol Motor Speedway.
Check it out when you hit the Big Show dot com. God,
I already get your name of the hat.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
You want to hit the bit box when you're near
is off as well?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
About Taylor and back from her a quick trip around
the world, well kind of over to Austria hung out
you know mozarts pad ye you got that.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Just on to play. We're talking earlier about like the Germans.
You know, the language. It just doesn't sound like a
happy sort of language to my ear.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
Yeah, to my ear, it's just a lot of hard,
hard constants, not a very not a very romantic language.
But you be in the middle of your movie and
then they'd break in for announcement and speak a lot
of German, and then then then you know, then then
come on with English and be fasten your seatbelt?
Speaker 1 (38:41):
What minutes of German?
Speaker 14 (38:45):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (38:50):
And I was like, what do they now know that
I don't know? One American girl over there? Let me.
I'm glad you back there, baby, thank you for coming
the first thing. All right, we're doing good.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
Here, we get that Friday morning song up. Uh, let's
play I Beat the Blonde game. Couple more prize packages
for you to win. Big Shoe's on the radio, Guten
Morgan
Good more than everybody more Big Show to come. Hang
where you are, yo, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
This is Nike and for all of five one one
you need on all things redneck.
Speaker 3 (00:13):
Just check out my two favorite crackers, John bro and
Bitley right here on the Big Show. I listened to
something else my own self, but white boy Patrick Dunn broke.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Off the knob in the Cadillac.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Patrick never mind, heets out.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Let's get up mad at it is Friday, August fifteen, Friday,
all right, came quick this week? So that happened when
you skip a couple of work days.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
We wouldn't know.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
What?
Speaker 1 (01:23):
All right, Hard It's it's the day before my birthday?
Does that matter?
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Yeah, yeah, Randy's birthday eve. Like that, I'm gonna get late, okay,
all right, we'll celebrate, David. Remember that when you're handling
out getting us up tomorrow on the Saturday Show. He's
getting late. You know, I ain't, no boy, I don't
(01:53):
believe it anyony me too. Alright, we got it, all right?
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Thanks, just gonna come and uh to us here with
Tom Sorenson. All right, good, yeah, okay, I'm just checking
on that, looking at that final hour giving away my
wonderful thing number one hundred and fifty two. So if
you hadn't yet to get your name and a half
of that souvenir draw stream tote perfect for toating stuff,
of course from one of our favorite tracks, Bristol Motor Speedway.
(02:25):
All right, got three days in this received up.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
We'll get to those.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Get the first prize back out and get the winning
beginning told you got about half a playing big Shoe.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It's on a radio.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Good morning, Big Show's on a radios. Get that first
prize back out. A Blue Emu prize pack includes two
jars of blue Emu non greasy Relief or whatever pains you.
Blue Emu works fast and you won't stink. Plus a
tube of pbc OTC itcher releaf cream. This is fast
prescription strength itchery leaf from insect bites, poison, ivy, sunburn,
(02:58):
all your summertime itches and more. Pb cootc saved for
the whole family.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Three days in history where we're gonna have three categories.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
It was nineteen eleven Procter and Gamble of Cincinnati and
her new Chrisco had drudgenated short name Chrisco is lard.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Was that more healthy than lard Crisco when I came
out lard is.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Actually more healthy, but you'll get an argument than vegetable.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Well, just thinking about Chrisco's uses. Nineteen seventy, during a
semi pro game in Orlando, Patricia Polankis became the first
woman to be paid for playing football. She played for
the Orlando Panthers of the Atlantic Coast League in the
game against the Bridgeport Jets. She was a wife of
the place kicker and held the ball for him three
(03:47):
times during the game. Right, Kathy Ireland kind of supermodel.
She was like a field goal kicker in a movie. Yeah,
I need you to research it. Found the title I
need to see. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Two thousand and two. Then finally, authorities in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania,
charged a thirty year old man from public drunkenness after
the slowest police chase on record. The man was cruising
down the street at three miles an hour on the
Childs Fisher Price power wheels called yea, those can be
(04:21):
tricked out.
Speaker 7 (04:24):
There.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
You go think about some toys laying around the yard
and we'll do it. One eight hundred big show you
toll free line. We play out birds next.
Speaker 8 (04:57):
Good morning, that's a big show already your.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Friday, August fifteenth. Our feature track from the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Box tATu Moran's Academy of Accents and Dialect.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
You were Taytor Academy. Yeah, girl, you're gonna want to
hang around play house a couple of hours, a little hit.
We gotta go over Taylor Accents for everybody. Right now,
we want to get the winning.
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Upburst.
Speaker 10 (05:30):
Let's play Upburst.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It's the game that anyone can win. Jon Boy Billy
to give the puzzes from the big Prize game. Let's
go me contested number one.
Speaker 9 (05:44):
This should really be a lot of funks when you're
playing Upburst. Have a hurry up and guest time you
love the best time you love a big shots.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Let's stay hid a jumma from Mary all and I'll say.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Morning boy.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
All right, well, let's get you through these three categories
and get you that big old prize pack over to you.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Sober about Let's see I got to start off with
in five seconds, mind you three reasons that you'll use
Chris Co Ready.
Speaker 11 (06:38):
Ready go.
Speaker 12 (06:41):
Greathe my skillet, bacon, an ingredients and skin moisture.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Well, I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Maybe chickens get out in the country. Right there we go, Jama,
here we go. Three three positions on a football team. Yeah,
football team positions.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Goes quarterback, line back, lide, receiver, and shows with.
Speaker 10 (07:16):
Next out you go.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
All right down, here you go for the wind. Three
children's outdoor toys.
Speaker 10 (07:28):
Ready go.
Speaker 12 (07:30):
Say a power wheel's bossycle, digging worms, commonares and.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
She just yone on the gun away, Jamma, you got
the big old blue Emy prize pack and any itches
as you pick up this summer, the PBC O T
C Itch Relief cream will take care of those. This
is the best. This is the best stuff we've had
in a while. I got an itch. I need, I
(08:02):
need to give a shout out.
Speaker 13 (08:03):
Y'all, my sweet I love you, duck man, don't love you.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Appreciate y'all ing on jam and duck one moving around Marravile, Tennessee.
I like man that they fun hung out with you.
Sound like boom hour. I'll tell you what I think.
No Internet trying to talk, she said, don't you worry
about her?
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Love?
Speaker 10 (08:31):
Thank you?
Speaker 4 (08:32):
Go well, Oh, good morning, it's a big show on
(09:07):
the radio. It's Friday morning, right, Smack and dabb in
the middle of August. We're the happy Boys.
Speaker 13 (09:23):
I was walking down the street on a sunny day.
Bubba feeling in my bones, says, I have my wee
bubble hubble. Ima have to be boy, Ima hap.
Speaker 10 (09:34):
To be boy? Oh we did good? When things are
going here? We hey, Hey, my little.
Speaker 13 (09:39):
Box spot got hit by a car. Ubble hubbubb but
it's guns in the box and put him in a drawer.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Ubb.
Speaker 10 (09:46):
Oh, i'ma have to be boy. Oh, I'm a happy boy.
Oh and good when things are going here?
Speaker 11 (09:53):
We hey, Oh, forgot all about it for a month
and a half.
Speaker 10 (10:14):
I looked through the drawer and started to laugh because
I might have to be boy. Have me boy and
good when things are going here? We hey, good.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Friday morning big shows on the radio. Well, our oldest
fan and longtime visitor is out and about today. He
he ain't letting us summer. He'd keep him away from
his moving around. So let's welcome back, Nerve, old tea Wheeler,
Come on in nerve, Lord of miney.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
I was gonna ask you how low the ac goes
in here, but I'm pretty dang sure it's set.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
On polar Yeah, Well you know it's the summer. I
like a cold studio. Hell, I guess you do. You
can make a few extra dollars renting out this space
to hang meat. We can we get you a jacket
or something.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
You got to Parker's laying around. Hell, even Randy got
the high beams on the day.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
It's better than the heat anyway.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Yeah, hell, I suppose you're right about that. You know
I've been through one hundred and six summers. Heat never
did bother me much. And tell us you aint really Yeah,
I prove it. You know how I always wear my
shirt button up to the top.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Look at here.
Speaker 6 (11:45):
Yeah, you undid them top to button. Well, I figured
if it's good enough for Tainer, it's good enough for it.
Try and control yourselves, ladies, I ain't fishing.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
For a deep A lot of it is the humidity. Oh,
you're right about that.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Near killed me last week.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Well what happened?
Speaker 6 (12:02):
I jumped up on the out half seat and dang
near hydroplaned into the big hole. You always hear the
weather guys talking about relative humidity. Yeah, I don't understand
what that is. Relative humidity to me is when your
cousin is so sweaty she keeps sliding that from under you.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
A lot of folks used corn starch. Have you ever
tried that?
Speaker 6 (12:21):
Yes, sir, I did, I did. All I ever got
was gravy. All I needed was a yeast infection. The
hell I could have made biscuits breakfast.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Sir, I guess, I.
Speaker 6 (12:32):
Guess we should consider ourselves lucky around here. You know,
you go further south and it just gets worse. As
in Florida a few year ago, the only time I
ever saw a funeral procession go through the dairy Queen
drive through, saw a homeless fella holding a sign that said,
we'll work for shade. So dad, come hot. That Jehovah's
(12:53):
witnesses started sending email so blasted hot. When I hear
someone break wind, I jumped by hand them.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Just for the bringing.
Speaker 6 (13:01):
Well, I'd never been there, desperate, Why the hell would
you be working at our station zebra here?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Well, I'm gonna ski that line.
Speaker 6 (13:09):
I'm gonna get a refill on that coffee.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Just get me back to square. Will you help yourself?
Speaker 6 (13:13):
Well, I'm on a mosie and keep your saddle all
in your gun grazed and holler up.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
And you need me good more than everybody The Big
Show is right here on the radio. Saved me, Praised,
You're lifted.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
The two fine lads two Boite dedicated to putting on
your face and a song in your heart as long
as you'll buy you their bloody grilling sauce, John Boy
and Billy on the Big Show Face and Big.
Speaker 11 (14:14):
Good Morning.
Speaker 4 (14:15):
This will make showing the radio for your Friday morning
man one of the TV shows. Well, we grew up
with Tyers a little before your time, I know, from
a Dick Van Dyke show. By the way, calling her
age of mrd as just a second, I wanted to
tell you a little Ritchie, the kid on the Dick
Van Dyke Show, his birthday the day, seventy years old today,
(14:37):
the little Richie.
Speaker 5 (14:39):
Man.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
He's always yelling. I thought he was always yelling. He
talking with a loud talker.
Speaker 11 (14:43):
You know.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Oh Mary Tyler Moore, she was hot back in the day.
You know she's wearing them U pants on. Yeah Weather
Show had two separate beds in their bedroom. Yeah, noticed
things like that when I was we don't need anymore.
(15:08):
I think we got our connection. Now, let's make this call.
Speaker 7 (15:11):
Hello, Red Hot Turn Incorporated, your spokesperson source for thirty
five years. If you want to sell cars, if you
want to sell beers, We're ready to give you the
ultimate pitch man at a place that most definitely isn't
a bitch man.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Okay, hey, missus bestows this you no? This is yeah?
Speaker 10 (15:31):
Yeah right?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
John Morribilly here baby, how's you love life going?
Speaker 5 (15:35):
Well?
Speaker 7 (15:35):
Actually, I've been seeing a well known celebrity lady.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Oh who is that?
Speaker 7 (15:40):
I'll give you a hint. Okay, he was a media
sensation at the Atlanta Olympics and he's been raking in
the big bucks ever since.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
You mean Michael Johnson.
Speaker 7 (15:49):
No, Richard Jewell.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
For Richard Jewell.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
You know you can't tell him to see an interlass.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
But he's got a really cute But say the only
reason you like man's buns because that's where they keep
their wallets.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Oh, I just hope you know what you're doing. I
can handle if you say so. Listen is Murray in
hold on?
Speaker 7 (16:08):
I'll ask him?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Thank you, Murray, Jimbo and Bobby on two? What tell
him on the phone.
Speaker 7 (16:15):
Tell him you're on the phone with another client, Murray.
Speaker 13 (16:18):
We don't have any other clients.
Speaker 7 (16:20):
Yes, I'm sure.
Speaker 13 (16:22):
No, remember the human dartboard guy.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
He walked out last week. He told you, thank you, Hello,
Murray Love.
Speaker 14 (16:35):
You mean, yeah, hey, may I tell you this morning?
I feel just like Tom Cruise in that movie Jerry Maguire.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
You mean you're keeping your client less small so you
can concentrate on a few choice names.
Speaker 14 (16:46):
No, I mean at this point it's down to me
and my ditsy secretary and a gold fish and a
zip lock bag. Also, the landlord keeps calling a saying
show me the money.
Speaker 7 (16:54):
May show I.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Thought you told me the other day you're getting ready
to sign a couple of hot new acts. What about
that rock and roll band you were gonna meet with?
Speaker 14 (17:04):
I didn't work out taus out they were a little
bit too wild.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
What do you mean the music?
Speaker 14 (17:08):
No, no, no, the lifestyle. Whole band had big time problem.
What kind of problems substance abuse? Oh yeah, I'll tell you, Jimbo.
These guys had been in betty Ford more than Gerald.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
What happened with that motorsports artists you wanted to help
sell the limited edition prints?
Speaker 14 (17:27):
This guy was not quite ready for prime time. He
did a painting of Earnhardt. Actually it was a pretty
good likeness.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
So what was the problem.
Speaker 14 (17:34):
Well, instead of driving a race car, he was sitting
around a big table with a bunch of dogs playing poker.
Not exactly the kind of thing that'll fly off for
souvenir trade.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Yes, now with Jamrse, sounds like you having kind of
a rough time lately, Jimbo.
Speaker 14 (17:47):
This business is a cycle. There's good times and there's
lean times. I've been up, I've been down, and one
thing I know for sure, down suck, but it doesn't
last forever.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Well, have you ever had a client make it? Really?
Speaker 14 (18:00):
Are you kidding? I've had clients whose names are household
words today. I who Eduardo, Santa Flash, Diane Pamperin, Kathleen,
da Hill, James Earl, Koex you need I go.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
No, it's fine, But did you have anybody make it
big that we might have heard of?
Speaker 14 (18:17):
Of course, hey, great story. As a matter of fact,
it was right after I started the agency in nineteen
sixty eight. This kid comes to the office, tallis, He's
good looking in a goofy kind of way. He says,
I want to be in showbiz. I said, okay, kid,
what do you got? Can you dance? And right there
in the office he does a picture perfect recreation of
Gene Kelly from Singing in the Rain. Amazing stuff. I said, wow,
(18:39):
I said, can you sing? He builts up this meddley
of tunes from the Music Man and My Fair Lady.
He was fantastic, So I said, well can you act?
He does all four Marx Brothers from a Night at
the Opera. He throws in a little law and Hardy
and tossed it off with a side splitting Jack lemon
Tony Curtis thing from some like God. It was unbelievable.
(18:59):
I jumped him behind the desk. I said, Paul, you
got it all. You can sing, you can dance, you
can act, you can do comedy. You're gonna be a
huge star. I wanna sign you to a five year deal.
What's your name? He says, Penis van Lesbian. He said, woah,
the first thing you need is a new name. And
guy says, what do you mean? I said, well, we
gotta get you a stage name here, pal, and he
(19:21):
gets kind of huffy on me. He says, why do
we have to do that? I said, well, because you're
never gonna make it in show business with a name
like Penis van Lesbian. Nobody's gonna put a name like
that on a theater marquee.
Speaker 7 (19:32):
He says, well, why not, I said, because it's offensive.
Speaker 14 (19:36):
Oh oh, he gets really mad. Then I'll have you know.
I'm very proud of my name. The Van Lesbian family
has a long and distinguished history, and Penis was my
grandfather's name. It was my father's name, and it's my name.
I'm not changing it for you or anybody else. I said, well,
good luck finding an ancient will handle you with a
name like that. Guy rips the contract in half, throws
(19:57):
it in my face, and storms out of the office.
So about two weeks later, this guy comes back in.
He's not quite as puffed up as he was before.
You know, of course I could figure out what had happened.
At this point, I said, Tennis, baby greatness. See you
how the ancient search going? He says, wow, not very well. Actually,
I've gone to almost every agent in Hollywood. They also
(20:17):
had the same thing you did. They love my stuff,
but they think the name Penis van Lesbian is never
gonna fly. You know, I think you are right. I'm
gonna have to change it to something more marketable. So,
since you were the first guy to offer me a deal,
I decided to come back and give you the first shot.
You come up with a name, I'll sign with you.
So I did, and he did, and the rest is history.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Well, go, okay, So what name did you come up with?
Speaker 14 (20:41):
Every heir of a guy named Dick Van Dyke?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Is that a true story?
Speaker 14 (20:50):
Hey, babe, I would never lie to you. Hey, listen,
I gotta.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Run after bate the bushes for some new clods.
Speaker 14 (20:57):
Now I'm have to watch Cartoon Carnival before the cable
turn off.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
That's Billy, I'm.
Speaker 14 (21:03):
Telling what.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Good morning? I got the Big Show on the radio.
All right. Libless was jealous of Astro Nerd getting to
do some stand up last week, so I said, all right,
get your best summertime material and practice. So hang on,
we're gonna let him in the door. Let me tell
you about what you can win if you play John
Boy Jeopardy and win.
Speaker 7 (21:25):
We go.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Do we get one every morning? It's a one hundred
and twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made
in the USA. Look for bull Snout at truck stops
across America. Download the bull Snot app when you hit
the Big Show dot Com. All right, we promis him.
Come on, labels horning there, y'all horned?
Speaker 15 (21:45):
All you wig show hey hold you and yackeh hell
you arrant?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
I need jacking out?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
You hang on right? You don't want you won't worry.
Speaker 10 (21:55):
I want it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
I think you got it. World, Well hard time here again?
Well season out? All we are hot. It does get
hot in the summer.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
You don't touch my talking and areeze kind of cools.
We're all.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I'm wrong?
Speaker 1 (22:16):
A what load my hayvard yoking about summer time?
Speaker 10 (22:19):
But summertime.
Speaker 16 (22:22):
Right?
Speaker 1 (22:23):
The falls begin, the balls, let the goo falls be?
Where do sheep saying there's summer vacation?
Speaker 12 (22:33):
Where does sheep spend their summer vacation in the Bahamas?
Speaker 10 (22:41):
Why not like that?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Why somewhere cool?
Speaker 11 (22:44):
Cold?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I can't take a sweater off, can't take their sweater?
Where do sharks go on vacation? Where do sharks finland?
You know where? I had held an'ty word and won't
an What do you get when you called her elephunt
(23:06):
with a whish?
Speaker 12 (23:07):
What did you get when you cross an elephant with
a fish swimming trunks?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
I had I don't know what look out when it
was a canon wall in the womb. Oh there you go,
all right? Okay? Who's Irish and he's outside all summer long?
Speaker 12 (23:33):
Who's Irish and stays outside all summer long? Patty old furniture?
Speaker 15 (23:42):
I had old skin cancer? Lukie skin cancer. What's the
shame to do if you lose your job at the
Hunt lotion factory?
Speaker 12 (23:54):
The best thing to do if you lose your job
at the sun Tan Lusi factory. Real apply every thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I had take a good hard look at you, like
cause you probably could do that life coach right right?
Why couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new Pirate? I couldn't the little kid get in to
see the new pirate? New Pirate? It was rated. I
(24:27):
have no idea.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
That's it you have? I had?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It shows who was woody? It shows too much booty.
Why does you woe never take o cake?
Speaker 12 (24:39):
Why does the mommy mummy never take a summer vacation? Well,
he's scared to unwind?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Got he waited?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Why not because I had called him dead? Because he's
I got to wear finished finish.
Speaker 15 (25:00):
What's the only time you go while it's ran it's
top when it hurts green.
Speaker 12 (25:06):
The only time you go while it's red and stop
when it turns green. When you're eating a watermelon.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
That summer time for I had when you drunk? When
you're drunk, said, where's traut? Next time? What he lists
saying this is yo what he lives. Listen, y'all halloishes
over a well who baster.
Speaker 10 (25:37):
Damn well?
Speaker 4 (25:38):
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy review yesterday's question. We found
out in eighteen thirty three Andrew Jackson became the first
US president to ride one of these.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
While in office.
Speaker 6 (25:49):
And what is that train?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Is a train?
Speaker 4 (25:52):
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. This body part, when removed for transplant,
can survive outside the body longer than any other organ.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
What was formally inside the body? Okay, what you all got?
What a hundred big show you told? Free Live. We
played John boyd Jeopardy. Next Fine a morna.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
That's a big showing the radio worlding do your Friday
me I featured Drag with the Big Show bit Box TAYT.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Moran's Academy of Accents and Dialect.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
Don't you know Worring Academy, Bob hit the Big Joe
dot comy Right now, let's play.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeahs live across America. It's John Boyd now your host.
Speaker 13 (27:13):
He is an official organ donor, but says he'd like
to hang on the ones he's got for now.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
But he didn't see this dog on the internet. Well
you know, John boy.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
As I had a Mark out of Princeton, West Virginia.
Good morning, Mark, you're marring to you, John boy Man
doing awesome?
Speaker 10 (27:37):
Mark?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
How are you? I'm hanging in, hanging out and hanging out,
bro getting back at a boy.
Speaker 10 (27:47):
Mark.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
You got first shot at John boy Jeopardy this morning.
So uh, let's look at it. This body part, when
removed for transplant, can survive outside the body longer than
any of organ.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
What do you think? Oh man, I just dawning on you.
How about how about your heart? How about the heart?
Let's say, yeah, it sounds like it. I don't know.
(28:24):
I saw the movie here playing, so I know that.
Speaker 7 (28:26):
Well.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Mark, we appreciate you playing buddy. We'll give you another
shot down the road.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
All right, all right, thank you so much. This my
first time playing. I thank you.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
All right, Damn Mark, Mark, we have a great day
up in Princeton. Let's go to what we've got. Derek
is in a rocking point, North Carolina. Good morning, Derek.
Hey buddy, you are coach Mark thought it was a
heart So.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
What are you thinking? What organ you got in your head?
The lungs, the lungs, let's say say, yes, that is wild.
It is I rememver would have thought that. All right, well,
(29:15):
look look at us learning stuff here, b there.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
You got it, buddy, the bull snot prize pack one
hundred and twenty dollars worth heading.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Over the rocky point for you. Awesome. Thanks alright, buddy.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
Bottom of the hours, top of your news, right on
the on the side. I remember in Rayford for our
Friday morning and DeBie Dunbar over the back fence, good morning,
(30:15):
to make show us on the radio. Will He is
not a doctor, but he plays one on radio sometime.
And doctor Rayford says the swimming pool is not only
the best exercise, but a good place to meditate.
Speaker 16 (30:30):
Tell people your exercise routine has been reduced to swimming
laps and they'll agree it's the best way to be
considerate of your joints. My joints are suffering from too
many years of running, so I've cut back to an
easy routine of twenty minutes on the treadmill or walk
in the track, twenty minutes in the weight room no
heavy barbell stuff, and twenty minutes swimming laps. And if
(30:51):
I can count walking the dogs and mowing the lawn,
I'll skip the treadmill. To boring anyway, Swimming is the
most isolating of sports. Even long distance runners have scenery
to look at. Swimming is totally fascinating. It is true
that boredom can set in, but so can zen calm.
As torture gives way to pleasure, blood pressure goes down,
(31:14):
and the water lists the spirit as well as the body,
finding yourself while losing yourself, giving yourself up to the
supporting medium. Not supporting medium, of course, the water and
the least cover you can wear, the better. Bulky cotton
swim trunks hold you back. The speedo is the best.
Just jump in the pool real quick, though, never parade
(31:35):
around because you're shoeing. No Adonis, and always wear goggles
and earplugs and a bathing cap is good to keep
your hair from turning yellow. Some tips on meditating and
swimming from Robert d Rafer, John Boy and Billy Show.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
You said more than there's a big show on the radio.
All right, we get a chance pull over. You gotta
play attention here. This is gonna be classic, I feel it.
No pressure, Tater, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Thanks action.
Speaker 17 (32:26):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode The
Irish Brawl. As our story opens, Sister Mary Marcy McDougall
is talking to the assistant groundskeeper at the Sisters of
Perpetual Motion Convinence.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
So anywise, true feeman bushes back a bit, and don't
forget to we behind the dining hall.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
I'll keep right on the season. Well, we really rather
be telling all this to your supervisor. Where is all Nancy?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
I don't rightly know, sister, Stop talking to me, Mexican handyman.
Morning folks. Sorry further delay. Well now.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Glad you could join us for a little work before lunchtime.
You know, if you're gonna be late, you really should
let a feller know.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Mind your tongue, peppy, I mean, no mood for a
bunch of lip from a Presbyterian like you.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Good gravy Clancy. Where'd you get that nasty looking shiner?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
The same place you got your accent, Jimmy, it's a
long story, Jumping Judice, you got bumps and bruises off,
pumping down both your arms.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
That's a big, long cruise.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
What did that sweet do with Mexican Yanna? Got a
nasty knot on top of me head too.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Youin't been brawling in the pubs again, have you? I
told you to stay out of there.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Tough sister, the old the only thing worse than brave
heart here lecture me about being late? Is you telling
me to stay under the pubs? Everyone in town knows
you've done more shots than Cape Canaveralon.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Yeah, yeah, you gonna tell us how you got beat up?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Well now, you being a nun, I ain't gonna lie
to you. I've been mucking about with a married woman.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
A married woman here an echo in here.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I I met her over at the Chelsea Street Market,
commonly last name of bridge to too great, big gobs
of wavy red hair, a light dust enough records right
across the bridge of her nose. She's a perfect Irish.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Beauty and married to eh.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
I I've seen the widden ring on her finger. But
she was so fine and soft and sweet, smelling like
Peppy over there. I just couldn't help meself. So one
thing led to another and she invited me back to
her flat.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
So is that where she beats you up?
Speaker 2 (35:07):
All right, seed, you work for emigration.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Where's the rest of me?
Speaker 10 (35:10):
Crew?
Speaker 2 (35:14):
It wasn't her that did the beating, you talking spud.
It was her husband come home and caught us just
as we commenced to get her freaka.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
In walks.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Mister Patrick O'Toole himself.
Speaker 5 (35:29):
Patrick O'Toole, that bonny little fellow that runs the pharmacy.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Hey, that's him. I can't believe he done all this.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Patrick O'Toole's five foot nothing as skinny as the morning paper.
He must have had something in his hand.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Wait to maintain the illusion, I that he did a
walking stick with a big honker of a brass ball
on the end of it, and he commenced to beat
me with it six ways from Sunday.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Still, you're more than twice his size. Didn't you have
nothing in your own hand?
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I missus O'Toole's rear end and a thing of beauty
it is, too, but pretty much useless in a fight.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy play.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
House, and your spiky head of Harry could have put
his eye out you won't made to tramp the shres.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Tune it again next time. And when we hear crusty
old mother Superior say, hey, big man, let me hold
a dollar.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Why have you and the rest of the un go
and do it somewhere?
Speaker 1 (36:39):
This makes show on the radio. John bock Ben and Tanner.
Speaker 18 (36:43):
Fellers ran to Jackie and you listening, Hi a pal,
you are listening the toe of the funniest guys on
the radio. And my fraternity brothers at the Raccoon Lodge,
John Boy and Philly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Are they funny? Are they funny?
Speaker 13 (37:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Hell, good morning. It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Here's you one hour alert for John Boys wonderful thing giveaway.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
It's number one hundred.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
And fifty two assuming their drawstring tote Bristol Motor Speedway.
Check it out when you hit the Big Show dot com. God,
I already get your name of the hat.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
You want to hit the bit box when you're near
is off as well?
Speaker 4 (37:58):
About Taylor and back from her a quick trip around
the world, well kind of over to Austria hung out
you know mozarts pad ye you got that.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Just on to play. We're talking earlier about like the Germans.
You know, the language. It just doesn't sound like a
happy sort of language to my ear.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
Yeah, to my ear, it's just a lot of hard,
hard constants, not a very not a very romantic language.
But you be in the middle of your movie and
then they'd break in for announcement and speak a lot
of German, and then then then you know, then then
come on with English and be fasten your seatbelt?
Speaker 1 (38:41):
What minutes of German?
Speaker 14 (38:45):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (38:50):
And I was like, what do they now know that
I don't know? One American girl over there? Let me.
I'm glad you back there, baby, thank you for coming
the first thing. All right, we're doing good.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
Here, we get that Friday morning song up. Uh, let's
play I Beat the Blonde game. Couple more prize packages
for you to win. Big Shoe's on the radio, Guten
Morgan
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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