June 17, 2024 • 44 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast,.. - Carl Childers tells us his version of King Kong… - Sherman Pratt weighs in on the Kid’s Menus at restaurants.. - We run down the latest issue of Dumb Crook News with the second edition of Florida Man.. - We found another box of those Big Show Alarms for you.. - Rev. Billy Ray Collins has some sound advice for graduates.. - and Rev. Sincere and Goober tell us about the Panty Assassins…
℗®© 2024 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hey, man, this is Tommy Chong and you're listening to
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show. These guys
are funny even if you're not high. Hey who wrote
this crap.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Man talking hoodle doo hopping out him?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
It is Monday and the Big shows on the radio.
I'm deciding to be chippy this morning, I mean chirpy.
Uh oh, last time I got chippy, I got beat
up my senior I mean that was that was like
in high school, not in like a senior citizen. So yeah,
so oh chirpy. Everybody else joined me in chirpiness. Get
(01:18):
the best of my love. Oh go.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
And see.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
That.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Look at the national days hope wing to be something
good to eat? Oh? Look, National apple Strudle Day about
old German Helmet. The Helman used to come in and,
uh bring us apple strudel. Where are you there, Helmet?
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I think they've already done the is it?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It's a Greek festival? Zoom? Oh well he was a German. Okay,
Germans make distruder, not the Greeks, I know. But bacle
vah gotta go on little stuff like that. So you
just associate naples strudle with the Greek folks.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
No, that's just when he would come in, they set
up a booth or something there.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, I got you all right, good Germans. That was
awful clothes and I'm still hungry. It was National Eat
your Vegetables Day, all right, so do that eat your vegetables.
Don't want to? Got to because then you can have
a cherry tart. It is National cherry tart Day, all right,
(02:29):
National root Beer Day. I don't know if that root
beer will go good with the strudel and glass of
milk and a tart tart.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
You remember when root beer got popular there for a while,
and there was the convenience stores were selling this brown
bottled root beer.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I forget which brand it was, but I got pulled
over by a cop because he thought I was drinking
a beer? Is that I was drinking? I said it's
root beer? He went yeah, yeah, yeah, out of.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
The car, those dark brown ones.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Because there's Stuart's too, But oh I like the hard
really they have hard root beer. Then very nice. You're
drinking a hard root beer over ice is yummy. Wow.
I liked it on the ice cream. You know, we
have a root beer in a buzz.
Speaker 7 (03:15):
All right.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Well, we got three days in this are saved up.
Those will be important us where we get our categories.
We'll got the first prize back out because we are
awaking Cherrpy Big Shows on the radio, Gay Morning, Big
Show's on the radio. First prize back today, hat, t shirt,
tumbler and a twenty five dollars gas card from Law Tigers.
(03:36):
You can win a trip of a lifetime to the
eighty fourth annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, plus a custom Harley
Davidson performance backer and more. Read the list that you
will win when you click on the Law Tigers banner
to the Big Show dot Com. Listen up here you
can win it. Three days in history where we're going
our categories. Nineteen ninety three, June seventeenth, the local crook
(04:00):
stole two security cameras from a Brooklyn bank at Leice
knew who it was and he was local because the
last pictures both cameras took showed him unscrewing them from
the wall. Oh one, After routinely tardy students claimed they
didn't have alarm clocks, Saint James Primary School in Gorton, England,
(04:24):
tried again. Aycock handed out free alarm clocks. Any students
that wanted them, you get a pluck. Since then, school
officials said their students arrived a lot earlier and were
much more consistent. Finally, on this date six, in a
(04:47):
real life version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears in Reverse,
a West Vancouver woman came home to find a young
bear eating oatmeal in her kitchen. Police couldn't get the
bear to budge, so they let the animal finish his
oatmeal nice. Eventually, the bear decided to go out the
(05:08):
same way he got in, through a sliding glass door
and headed back down to the forest. Fikes, man, where
are your bed? This bear like hat? All my oat nails?
As are categories? So come on one ain't hundred Big show
(05:31):
you told free Line We play out Burst next Good
(06:01):
Monday Morning. It's a big Show on the radio. Today's
feature track from The Big Show, Big Box Reverend Sincere
and Goober Lead Hanny Assassins. It's like we're pennies.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
You know, we are really screwing with people's search history
this week at Bad Bone and now.
Speaker 8 (06:21):
Patty and Holy when you at the Big Box, when
you go to the Big Show dot com, The ways worth.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Upburst Let's play upburst.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
John Boys, Bully, we give the puzzes from the big prize.
Be let's go contested number one.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing upburst.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
Have a urry up and.
Speaker 9 (06:54):
Guest time you love the best time.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
You love a big shots. Say hey, Britney from Gastonia,
North Caroline. Good morning, Britney, Hello, hello, good morning, good morning,
(07:22):
good morning. Okay you all right, we have established the connection, Britney.
Glad you're here first contestant not only of the morning,
but of the week. Are you ready to get through
these three categories and get the winning beginning? I am
ready to try. Here we go. Three things people put
(07:42):
on their walls, look around and go pictures, de deerhead
come on, come on concerts. Okay, all right, you're saying
beer heads. I've been throwing them.
Speaker 10 (08:07):
Deer heads.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I like it. I like it, all right, brettany now
there we go, Baby, give us three ways to wake
up in the morning. Ready to go.
Speaker 11 (08:18):
In a warm clock and uh I wake up call
huh my baby crying.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
The baby all right, baby and the buser. Now Brett,
all right, well, give us now three things Goldilocks. Think
of the old story Goldilocks when you're reading to your
kids and see three things that Goldilocks tried in the
(08:45):
bear's house. Okay, ready go Okay, their their bed, their chairs.
Speaker 11 (08:55):
Yeah, and they ate their kick under as well.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay, I was Hey, good work, Brandy. Looks like you
want the big old log Tiger's prize package. Okay, all Brandon,
you kiss him. Little kids forced appreciate you listening to
(09:21):
the big show.
Speaker 12 (09:21):
You hang on, get some sleep, alrighty, that's the bottom
of an hour talk of your news.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
You guys, we'll catch up and be more fundless than
to Taylor and Barry talking to the intercoll fat good moren.
(10:15):
It's a big sew on the radio with those kids.
Be out of school, but gotta keep up with your
summer reading. And we're here the hell.
Speaker 9 (10:25):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl Childers.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
I don't reckon.
Speaker 13 (10:33):
I got time to finish that chicken wings watching for him,
all right.
Speaker 7 (10:40):
I lock the way he talked. Yahn boyd me. We
pretty much the same. We like a movie with a
monkey in it.
Speaker 13 (10:54):
Probably the biggest monkey there ever was had to be
Old King Kong, I reckon, I can you buy it
if and you want me to.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Like you have a choice.
Speaker 13 (11:07):
Seems like there's this fella named of Carl Denham. His
family made some money in the dungaree trade, some folks
calling blue jeans. I called him dungrees.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Well.
Speaker 13 (11:21):
They wanted him to go into family business, but he
plumb had his heart set on making movies in Hollywood.
But not just any movies, monkey movies. They decided there
weren't no monkey it's worth a cuss in the city,
so we better go where there was monkeys. I had
this pretty little blonde haired girl. She wanted to make
(11:43):
monkey movies too, so he told her along. They all
got on this boat and when summer's called Schull Island.
He's a bunch of natives arm Carl Donna made friends
with them, gave him a brand new dungarease. Running around
(12:04):
stiff old blue jeans and a bone in their nose.
I am natives with plenty busy tending this big old
wall with a big old door on it.
Speaker 7 (12:15):
They made sure that.
Speaker 13 (12:16):
Doors kept locked. Sol's old King Kong couldn't get out.
Seemed to me they didn't want King Kong to get
out what They put up a door just his size.
I never did understand that part of it.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
Well of natives.
Speaker 13 (12:36):
Arm took a pretty big shine to that little blonde
haired girl. One night they took her off of that boat.
Arm threw the party for her over on Skull Island.
They figured Old King Kong could like her too, seeing
as how he'd been single for so long. She's a
mite nervous about meeting royalty, so they give her some
hard liquor to calm her down. They fixed up a
(13:00):
nice new dress made out of weeds and roots and whatnot.
Speaker 7 (13:04):
Put her out there on that old porch. Four too long.
Here come old King Kong. He liked that little girl
right off. He wreckeds you.
Speaker 13 (13:13):
The pretty little thing no bigger than one of them
giant squirrels are running around the jungle. A fellas on
the boat. They hear this commotion, they come and running.
But by that time Old King Kong done took cablond
girl and wandered off. Summers had Old Carl Denham, he'd
just tickled pink. He figured this whole adventure to make
(13:35):
a pretty swell monkey movie was with it having a
giant monkey and all. So he grabbed his camera them
fellas and they hot tailed it into the jungle after him.
All that jungle running took a lot out of King
Kong go because he's old and give out. So Carl
Denham and the boys finally caught up with him, but
(13:57):
he throwed most of them into a big old ditch
full of giant chiggers and crickets and these words what
each he had off, That's what he said. Carl Denham
got away. He went back for help. This other fellow
there the name of Jack. They followed King Kong, try
(14:17):
to save that girl. I reckon, he's in my sweet
owner too. Well, Sir King Kong took that little girl
back to his shed up on the mountain there and
made a stall out of a palm tree, dug her
a little hole of sleep in. She didn't get a chance,
getting no shut out though a Jack feller he come
(14:37):
got her. They runned off summers. King Kong weren't too happy,
but Ted, he said, out after him. He caught up
with them at ted big door. But I reckon they
forgot to lock it because he busted his smack through it.
They knocked him out, some gas bombs put him on
that boat towed him back to the big city. They
(14:58):
figured that did make a pretty good way, letting folks
gawking Old King Kong. They put a big old hat
and a bow tie on him, tried to teach him
to do a skin or two. That was on account
they didn't have a sea guard, and try to saying
big enough for him. But all Old King Kong really
wanted to spend time with that girl. When they raised
(15:21):
up that fancy curtain and them folks started making noise
and all them flashes went off, Well, sir Old King
Kong had enough of that nonsense. He bust loosed them chains,
grabbed that girl. He runs off. It was his first
trip to the big city, and he's having a big
time busting stuff up, wrecking trains and eating Yankees. He
(15:48):
thought they tasted kind of like corn. When city folks
didn't care for getting eat up none, they sent the
army after King Kong.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
He took that girl. I'm up on the tall buildings,
thinking he'd be safe. These airplanes come after him.
Speaker 13 (16:05):
They plumb filled him full of lead and he fell
off of that building, killed him, carl down him.
Speaker 7 (16:13):
He's yelling, what do you kill my monkey?
Speaker 13 (16:16):
Firm.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
What do you kill the monkey firm.
Speaker 13 (16:20):
He tried to get that little blonde haired girl to
take the blame, saying something about beauty killing the beast.
That Yankee crowd, they wouldn't have none of that. They
smelled blood. Knocking on King Kong off of that building
didn't satisfy them none. They got them a crane and
field dressed out. Old King Kong made potted meat for
(16:42):
the poor folks. Moral of the story is country boys
had an orthfold in over them.
Speaker 7 (16:49):
Senty girls. No matter how big you think you are,
you going down brother. The end.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Story time is brought to you by hard Graves potted
meat product a chuck full of peckers and lips. Since
nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 7 (17:07):
You reckon that potted meat they had head.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Monkey Good Monday morning Big shows on the radio.
Speaker 14 (17:41):
Listen it, Hello, friends, your old pelt bird burn Here
with another giblet tickling episode of John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Today's episode the hold up.
Speaker 14 (17:52):
As our story opens, a city slicker and his young
daughter are being robbed by a desperado in the Old West.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Now see here, young man, what is the meaning of this?
You must be new to the wild West. This is
called a hold up. Oh my, you're nothing but an outlaw. Well,
there's no such things as outlaws, really, mostly just gunslingers, desperadoes,
and vermin. Which one are you? Well, since you ask,
I've always fancied myself a desperado. I don't have the
(18:22):
weasley features to be a vermin, and I'm too lousy.
It was shot to be a gun slinger. Well, we
ain't got nothing worth stealing, so you can just skid
nattle you right about that. I rumming stew that wagon.
You've got nothing worth stealings. Maybe the wagon and the
horse they'll fetch a good price in deadwood.
Speaker 7 (18:40):
But that's all we got. We'll die out here.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
The Pony Express will be along shortly.
Speaker 14 (18:46):
Well, I must say you certainly live up to the
title of desperado.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Well, I thank you. It's satisfying to be recognized for
my abilities. You folks have a nice day. So many horses.
Speaker 14 (19:04):
Oh dear, Oh my all is lost. My life savings
were hidden in that wagon. Your mother will kill me.
I just want to eat a lettuce sandwich on gluten
bread and hide under a bearskin rug.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Don't worry, daddy, here's the money. Sweet fancy Moses, how
did you do that?
Speaker 11 (19:26):
Well?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
When the desperader showed up, I had all that money
in my mouth. I got my big mouth from my mama,
jimminy that swell. Oh I miss your mother.
Speaker 14 (19:37):
Why well, if your mother was here, we could have
saved the horse and the wagon too.
Speaker 15 (19:48):
And how.
Speaker 14 (19:50):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billie playhouse. Too
bad you didn't inherit her bosom. Two little buttons could
have saved the day. Tune in next time when we'll
hear the wacky Pony Express drivers say, hey, big man,
let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Captain's log start eight one eight zero zero, Big Show.
The crew and I have encountered the strange new alien race.
They appear basically humanoids, but they seem to be covered
by a strange gravy like substance. They're called John Bo
(20:33):
and Billy, commanders of something called the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Captain O good Monday morning. There's a big show on
(21:19):
the radio when John boys wonderful thing in the wig. Oh, hey,
don't get too many of these.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
A brand new cap from Draft Kings, A Draft Kings
beautiful white, nonstained.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Starts white too. You're not off there, thank you. It
hadn't been under my care flag at all. Draft Kings
has give him out too wonderful gamblers to show the instinct.
I just picked it up around here somewhere. We'll check
it out at the Big Show dot com. You can
(22:00):
be yours good morning, got the Big Show on the radio.
Coming up we play John Boy Jeoverty you win a
Red Max prizepag Red Max got the best trimmers and
blowers and commercial zero turn moores. Check them out with
their two year unlimited hour warning Kawasaki engines and heavy
duty fabricated deck. You can mold like a pro with Redmax.
(22:21):
Stick on the link when you hit the Big Show
dot com Loo first, all right, bring him in.
Speaker 15 (22:29):
Hello, fellow members of the Junior Diners club Sherman Brett
the Big Show Bright here with today's topic kids menus.
What kid doesn't like to dodge another playoff creatively disguised
leftovers and tag along with the folks. Do a nice
meal out. It's never any place fancy. They're probably afraid
(22:51):
that you'll break something. You get seated, and then comes
the billfare the menu. Your adrenaline pumps is your mind
spent the grease dripping treats that lay within its beakers.
Your hands start to shake, and just as you reach
to get it, the hostess jerks it away and slides
the kiddy menu in front of you. And to add
(23:12):
insult to injury, she either pinches your cheek or.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
Pats your heads the nerve of some people.
Speaker 15 (23:20):
Then you look down and see some crumby drawing of
some stupid animal or clown, or the dopey restaurant mascot
staring up at you, usually holding some off color cut
of meat yum yom. You know this sort of thing
is okay if you're three or four, But the day
you hit eight years old, this kind of thing sends
(23:42):
any normal kid over the edge. Just when you start
thinking of yourself as being at least a little grown up,
along comes some cartoon bear hawking you to color in
his balloons, please please, And what self respecting kid would
order anything with such stupid names. It's embarrassing Rudy fruity Petuti,
(24:07):
big bad wolf, liver and onions, Humpty dumpty eggs salad.
If you just try to tell them what you want,
the waitress tries to be cute and announces the stupid
thing at the top of her lungs. Everyone in the
place will be laughing, and they're not laughing with you.
If you protest, your folks give you the old skunk
(24:30):
eye and threaten ever to take you out again. So
the next time you go out with you folks, come
down with the little laryngitis. Hand the menu to your
old man and get him to order. It doesn't matter
what it is, just want to the stupidest sounding thing
on the menu. See if you don't get the adult menu,
then until next time. This is shrimming Bart reminding you
(24:53):
it's a kid's world.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Ruling, all right. De He is moved to Nashville managing
Jive Mother Mary. They let little Brett said in very talented,
very talented, listen to the latest single Save My Soul
from Jive Mother Mary, Spotify, Apple Music or wherever you
stream your music. And now let's win this big old
(25:18):
Redmax prospect, shall we. Twenty years before the Beatles stunned
Americans with young girls screaming, jumping, and fainting at their shows,
this famous musician was getting the same reaction, except he
was paying them to do it. Who is astroners that
(25:40):
didn't even work. What you all got one eight hundred
Big show you told free line across America. We play
John boyd jep Day next Good Monday morning, June seventeenth.
(26:15):
These show's on the radio. Today's feature track from the
bit Box Reverend Sincere and Goob with a panny assassins.
Gotta be talking about somebody else. Find out there. Search
for a key word, Hannis, when you hit the bedfoxead
the Big Show dot com and right now let's blame
Yells live across America.
Speaker 5 (26:37):
It's John Boy Jaffany and now a man who also
has been known to have young girls screaming, jumping and painting.
It was all you can eat burrito night at Kalapino
Da Papage.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
He's common boy see as a A. Michael out of Stedman,
North Carolina. Good morning, Mike, Good morning man. How'd your
day so buddy? Awesome so far. I'm glad you made
it in there, Michael. You got the first shot at
John boyde everardy this morning. All right.
Speaker 11 (27:12):
I appreciate that now the first time called all right.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
To go ahead, move me moved, Michael. That is buddy. Well,
let's review here twenty years before the Beatles stunned Americans
with young girls screaming, jumping, fainting at their shows. This
famous musician was getting the same reaction, except he was
paying them to do it. Who we talking about, Michael?
Speaker 11 (27:39):
I'm pretty sure I'm wrong because I think my time
friend's gonna be off. But I want to say Elvis.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
You won't say Elvis about that. Well, let's see, is
it Elvis?
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
No, no, yeah, I was didn't have to pay them girls,
That's that was Elvis.
Speaker 10 (27:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Later. Hey, well, Michael, we appreciate you playing, buddy. Try
again in time. Have a great day.
Speaker 11 (28:06):
Yes, sir, you have a fantastic with yourself. Thank you again.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Man. Let's go to Fisher down in Brunswick, Georgia. Good morning, Fisher,
Good morning, Good mor good morning buddy. All right, somebody
was paying them young girls twenty years for the Beatles.
That was not Elvis, not even his time here there.
But uh, what do you think you bout?
Speaker 11 (28:28):
Oh I'm first time called. But this is easy, all right,
Frank Sinatra.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Frank Sinatra, he says, assuredly, right, Frank Sinatra, but paying
the buhun cookie cookie? Huy? Hey, what good work with you, Fisher?
(28:54):
You got the big old price back head down to
Brunswick for you. Oh heck yeah, all right, buddy.
Speaker 11 (29:02):
Let me give you a shout out for these boys
at work. We got a long hot week coming up,
all right, man, go ahead, Oh Wilbur Johns and Den
Mother Good. They're drinking the water.
Speaker 10 (29:14):
Drink it in the water.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
There you go, Michael, y'all be careful out there, buddy.
Speaker 11 (29:19):
All right, thank you, quite a many hour top of
your news.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Then we're gonna get our time capsule up for this
Monday morning. We can get us get old laugh I.
Speaker 16 (30:05):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
He hey, man, is it due rock?
Speaker 13 (30:27):
You know it?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Turn it up man now.
Speaker 17 (30:30):
From the people who brought you five Rock, It's DUI
Rock forties happy hits of the sixties, seventies and eighties,
just for the guy who always wanted to get laid
but never did.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
You'll get the.
Speaker 17 (30:40):
Class against you. Dedicated to that girl who wouldn't give
you the time of day. From Duieve artists like Low
Bowl Me, Eddie Holman, David Gates, n Brad, I bake
(31:02):
it with you. Jim Croochie could say time in a
bottle and many more, but waite. You also get do
we Brock. Two songs you played loud to try to
get girls to think you were cool with Percy Sledge, Tommy.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
James on the Shandeus the Association.
Speaker 17 (31:33):
Plus for you guys who actually got a girl to
go out with you, but she dumped you after two
or three dates, you'll get do we Brock. Three songs
you played while driving past her house at night, Crying
featuring the Bucking Camp, The Lighteous Brothers, Daddy o'keeth, Got a.
Speaker 18 (31:54):
Ween Son, Got a.
Speaker 17 (32:00):
Good Damn John, It's Got the Blue re e O,
Speedwaking Geez, and the King of the Dwebs Gilbert Host.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Hello, hunt Well Again.
Speaker 17 (32:22):
Dewey Rock forty seven hits on four big cassettes, four
contact discs or for the true Dweeb four eight tracks.
Not available in stores, you can only get it through
this special offer. Four cassettes nine ninety five, four CDs
nineteen ninety five, four eight tracks six fifty called out
of order operators are standing by. Come on call her,
You'll think of something to say. Just relax, be yourself, Hey,
(32:43):
what are you a chicken? Dui Rock Order now.
Speaker 10 (32:57):
Heys for leting us use your records.
Speaker 4 (32:58):
Right, John Boy and Billy I finally tapped into that
spirit of self destruction that makes rock and roll the
king of music.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Morning Radio dumb right your Monday morning, June seventeenth, Big
(33:43):
Shows on the radio, It's time for dumb crook news.
Dumb cruk story is sending from you the Big Show
listeners from all over the world. The address will follow
this report and today we're featuring a special Florida Man additions.
(34:04):
A twenty eight year old Merritt Island, Florida man called
nine one one and told dispatchers he needed to ride
to Hooters because his grandmother was having a medical emergency
in the restaurant's parking lot well. One deputy was sent
to pick up the man while another sped off to
the Hooters location. Once both cops were there, a three
(34:25):
hour long granny hunt was conducted in and around the Hooters. Eventually,
the man's grandmother was found to be safe and sound
at her home, with no medical emergency and surprisingly no
recent visits to Hooters there in the several months, honey
(34:46):
a Note police turned their attention to the grandson, who
they lost trigo during the confusion. He was later founded
a nearby burger king where he was helping his girlfriend
with car trouble, and he was for misuse of the
nine to one one system. Then armless forty six year
(35:06):
old Miami, Florida man has been charged with stabbing a tourist.
The armless man who was well known by local authorities
as a homeless man who works as a street artist
in Miami, where he paints abstract pictures with his feet
in exchange for handouts from tourists. One such tourist told
police he had stopped to admire the man's work and
(35:28):
then asking for directions. The armless artist suddenly became enraged,
pick up a pair of scissors with his foot, and
lunged at the tourists, stabbing him in his left arm.
Police arrested thee no arm bandit and charge him with
aggravated assault tourists was treated to release from a local hospital.
(35:49):
A twenty four year old West Palm Beach, Florida man
and his girlfriend were both accidentally ran over by a
police cruiser while the pair were laying in the road
trying to watch the lunary cliffs. He was a state
(36:09):
that he was traveling around a sharp left hand curve
curve who was around only five miles an hour when
he ran over the pair. At first he thought he
had hit an animal, but then discover the injured couple,
who were still laying in the road. So the couple
did not sustain life threatening injuries and were later released
(36:30):
from a local hospital.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
I've got an animal.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
And finally, a Marion County, Florida man was caught on
police radar going three times a speed limit. Well. The
officer attended to pull the man over, but he had
other ideas, so he turned off his headlights and tried
out running a cop, but when that didn't go so well,
he gave up and pulled over Well. The CoP's body
(36:55):
cam shows him walking up to the vehicle saying, sir,
do you know dude, do you seriously have an open
tall boy between your legs right now the way? The
man replied, uh, yeah, you want one. Officer declined the offer,
and the rest of the man for du wi Yeah.
(37:17):
It was later found to be more than four times
over the legal limit. During his booking, cops noticed he
was wearing a T shirt that read I'm the reason
the Beer's always gone. If you have dumb crook news.
Mail to dumb Crook News. John Boynbilly p O Box
one nine one one Charlotte and Ce two eight two
(37:40):
one nine. Email anybody but me at the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 11 (37:52):
You listen to the frame of.
Speaker 7 (37:53):
John boyn Billy.
Speaker 6 (37:55):
They played a hitch whyle you eat your bread because
they were to get down on the ground and turnt
you holloway around.
Speaker 13 (38:00):
If you don't know, you better ackle somebody.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Good Morning Baby Shows on the radio. Been having usome
fun with Pat Godwin and his guitar.
Speaker 18 (38:41):
I went to need to says something I was thinking
about it. Listen, why stepped on the scale and they
got a measure. They said, wait a minute, mister, there's
only so much we can don think livele sucktion. Maybe
(39:02):
they all the thing for you. Suck the fat off
my fanny, suck the sad you live, suck fat off
my fan.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
He's gonna leave a little help here, Dan, I said,
little help.
Speaker 7 (39:19):
You sucked the weight.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
You're right off Maye. Good Morning Big Shows on the radio.
Coming up, we play Beating the Blonde. Winter is a
mount Olive Pickles frizepike includes mount Olive hat, T shirt
and the three pick of pickle juicers. It's the number
one pickle brand in the United States, making great products
(39:43):
since nineteen twenty six. At the corner of Cucumber and vine.
Go to big Show dot Com. Click on the mount
Olive Pickles bonder get more info, hang on win it
in minutes. The first fun with Chuckie Cheese as promise.
Speaker 9 (39:58):
Right yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
To early man Man well dam Wilson's Chunky Cheese. So
in honor of Pop Pop Maurice over here, it's Morris
has got to feel some of my pain going to
Chunky Cheese over the weekend. He old and handsome.
Speaker 10 (40:24):
What you have see?
Speaker 1 (40:25):
That's the question I always asked.
Speaker 19 (40:27):
It's like a midget on meth convention. I got a
good business idea out of it, though, if you can
get the Valium and Xanax concession there and get them
going in little kids running, I tell you what though.
I used the tickets as weapons because I had a
little two year old kid right I was going around
with him, cute little kid named Jack. The other kids
(40:48):
kept getting awake up, saying, hey, you want a ticket,
give him a ticket. My left hand pushed my right
hand and get the kid right in the one time
k was sitting on a horse and didn't I didn't
have any money in it. He was a cent of Norris.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I went, h you want to get off? No, I
go here, you go right up the horse.
Speaker 11 (41:08):
Wow.
Speaker 19 (41:10):
And the little kids, I mean you know, they keep
trying to walk up the down slide. He were starting
to really pistoling off.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I don't think I'll be going back at a time soon.
Speaker 10 (41:23):
And the folks.
Speaker 19 (41:23):
I took David and his wife Sandy that they were
Chuck e Cheese virgins. They have been there for I
don't think they'll be going back a second time. We
left there to eat at Olive Guard. We didn't even
eat there.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I mean me, I'll show you mouse.
Speaker 10 (41:41):
Boy, feel my pain.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Matthew, young son down syndrome, just loves chunky cheese. He'll
still have his birthday parties there usually you know, his parents,
young kids. You go through it, and you know, then
you serve your time in chunky cheese and move on.
Eighteenth birthday Chuck E Cheese. He loves the band and
then a wife so she video tapes it. Now Maddie
(42:10):
has to bring it home and watch it. Oh, every
day yeah, purfose of it. To my buds, come over
to the house, Maddie, grab them. Come on and you
gotta sit there through the whole thing. To the big
rat says happy birthday.
Speaker 7 (42:25):
Boy.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Yeah, I like to punch that rat. I just got
a colard of love it.
Speaker 10 (42:30):
It's and I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 9 (42:33):
You're not gonna get any simple out.
Speaker 10 (42:35):
Of our buddy.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Tim Wilson wrote a little song about it, and this
is for Pop Pop.
Speaker 16 (42:41):
This morning, I got combat training from over seas. Now
I'm the boucher at the Chunky Cheese. I think I'd
rather do a year in jail and another afternoon in
chunky Cheese Hell.
Speaker 6 (42:55):
Chunky Cheese Hell. I'm in Chunky Cheese.
Speaker 16 (42:59):
He we tater do a snuck nose climb tail and
Jokie cheese Hell. Mama drives chippers at the Chunky Mame
watch he's in waller and some plastic balls. The band
sucks and the piece is cold and you eat it
with a slobber in four year old and chokie cheese hell.
(43:21):
Cupe with pepper on east heel smells the same. You
waste a pay check on a.
Speaker 6 (43:26):
Video game lined up out the door like the stones
are in town.
Speaker 16 (43:30):
Ain't enough chunky ass whippings to go around in chunkie
cheese Hell, I'm in chunkie cheese hell, squalling youngun's and
a ski ball bell.
Speaker 6 (43:42):
In chokie cheese Hell.
Speaker 16 (43:45):
I did two tours of duty and VI Vietnam, fighting
jungle rock and breathing Hey palm, but they couldn't torture
me half as well as a first day party in
chunky cheese hell.
Speaker 6 (43:57):
Joki cheese Hell, I'm in chunky cheese hell.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
So true, Oh fun, so man. I dreamed about chuck
and cheese last night too. By the way, I'm not surprised.
Let's get ready to play Beat and the Blonde. Tell
you what you can win as a mount Oli Pickles.
Prize pack includes mount olive hat, T shirt and a
three pack of pickled juicers, the number one pickle brand
(44:31):
in the US, making great products since nineteen twenty six.
At the corner of Cucumber and vine. Go to Big
Show dot com click on the mount Oli Pickles matter
get more info. All right, well, let's play one eight
hundred Big Show you told free line, Get a contestant
and good Next
Hey, man, this is Tommy Chong and you're listening to
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show. These guys
are funny even if you're not high. Hey who wrote
this crap.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Man talking hoodle doo hopping out him?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
It is Monday and the Big shows on the radio.
I'm deciding to be chippy this morning, I mean chirpy.
Uh oh, last time I got chippy, I got beat
up my senior I mean that was that was like
in high school, not in like a senior citizen. So yeah,
so oh chirpy. Everybody else joined me in chirpiness. Get
(01:18):
the best of my love. Oh go.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
And see.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
That.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Look at the national days hope wing to be something
good to eat? Oh? Look, National apple Strudle Day about
old German Helmet. The Helman used to come in and,
uh bring us apple strudel. Where are you there, Helmet?
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I think they've already done the is it?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It's a Greek festival? Zoom? Oh well he was a German. Okay,
Germans make distruder, not the Greeks, I know. But bacle
vah gotta go on little stuff like that. So you
just associate naples strudle with the Greek folks.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
No, that's just when he would come in, they set
up a booth or something there.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, I got you all right, good Germans. That was
awful clothes and I'm still hungry. It was National Eat
your Vegetables Day, all right, so do that eat your vegetables.
Don't want to? Got to because then you can have
a cherry tart. It is National cherry tart Day, all right,
(02:29):
National root Beer Day. I don't know if that root
beer will go good with the strudel and glass of
milk and a tart tart.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
You remember when root beer got popular there for a while,
and there was the convenience stores were selling this brown
bottled root beer.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
I forget which brand it was, but I got pulled
over by a cop because he thought I was drinking
a beer? Is that I was drinking? I said it's
root beer? He went yeah, yeah, yeah, out of.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
The car, those dark brown ones.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Because there's Stuart's too, But oh I like the hard
really they have hard root beer. Then very nice. You're
drinking a hard root beer over ice is yummy. Wow.
I liked it on the ice cream. You know, we
have a root beer in a buzz.
Speaker 7 (03:15):
All right.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Well, we got three days in this are saved up.
Those will be important us where we get our categories.
We'll got the first prize back out because we are
awaking Cherrpy Big Shows on the radio, Gay Morning, Big
Show's on the radio. First prize back today, hat, t shirt,
tumbler and a twenty five dollars gas card from Law Tigers.
(03:36):
You can win a trip of a lifetime to the
eighty fourth annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, plus a custom Harley
Davidson performance backer and more. Read the list that you
will win when you click on the Law Tigers banner
to the Big Show dot Com. Listen up here you
can win it. Three days in history where we're going
our categories. Nineteen ninety three, June seventeenth, the local crook
(04:00):
stole two security cameras from a Brooklyn bank at Leice
knew who it was and he was local because the
last pictures both cameras took showed him unscrewing them from
the wall. Oh one, After routinely tardy students claimed they
didn't have alarm clocks, Saint James Primary School in Gorton, England,
(04:24):
tried again. Aycock handed out free alarm clocks. Any students
that wanted them, you get a pluck. Since then, school
officials said their students arrived a lot earlier and were
much more consistent. Finally, on this date six, in a
(04:47):
real life version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears in Reverse,
a West Vancouver woman came home to find a young
bear eating oatmeal in her kitchen. Police couldn't get the
bear to budge, so they let the animal finish his
oatmeal nice. Eventually, the bear decided to go out the
(05:08):
same way he got in, through a sliding glass door
and headed back down to the forest. Fikes, man, where
are your bed? This bear like hat? All my oat nails?
As are categories? So come on one ain't hundred Big show
(05:31):
you told free Line We play out Burst next Good
(06:01):
Monday Morning. It's a big Show on the radio. Today's
feature track from The Big Show, Big Box Reverend Sincere
and Goober Lead Hanny Assassins. It's like we're pennies.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
You know, we are really screwing with people's search history
this week at Bad Bone and now.
Speaker 8 (06:21):
Patty and Holy when you at the Big Box, when
you go to the Big Show dot com, The ways worth.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Upburst Let's play upburst.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
John Boys, Bully, we give the puzzes from the big prize.
Be let's go contested number one.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing upburst.
Speaker 6 (06:53):
Have a urry up and.
Speaker 9 (06:54):
Guest time you love the best time.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
You love a big shots. Say hey, Britney from Gastonia,
North Caroline. Good morning, Britney, Hello, hello, good morning, good morning,
(07:22):
good morning. Okay you all right, we have established the connection, Britney.
Glad you're here first contestant not only of the morning,
but of the week. Are you ready to get through
these three categories and get the winning beginning? I am
ready to try. Here we go. Three things people put
(07:42):
on their walls, look around and go pictures, de deerhead
come on, come on concerts. Okay, all right, you're saying
beer heads. I've been throwing them.
Speaker 10 (08:07):
Deer heads.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I like it. I like it, all right, brettany now
there we go, Baby, give us three ways to wake
up in the morning. Ready to go.
Speaker 11 (08:18):
In a warm clock and uh I wake up call
huh my baby crying.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
The baby all right, baby and the buser. Now Brett,
all right, well, give us now three things Goldilocks. Think
of the old story Goldilocks when you're reading to your
kids and see three things that Goldilocks tried in the
(08:45):
bear's house. Okay, ready go Okay, their their bed, their chairs.
Speaker 11 (08:55):
Yeah, and they ate their kick under as well.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay, I was Hey, good work, Brandy. Looks like you
want the big old log Tiger's prize package. Okay, all Brandon,
you kiss him. Little kids forced appreciate you listening to
(09:21):
the big show.
Speaker 12 (09:21):
You hang on, get some sleep, alrighty, that's the bottom
of an hour talk of your news.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
You guys, we'll catch up and be more fundless than
to Taylor and Barry talking to the intercoll fat good moren.
(10:15):
It's a big sew on the radio with those kids.
Be out of school, but gotta keep up with your
summer reading. And we're here the hell.
Speaker 9 (10:25):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl Childers.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
I don't reckon.
Speaker 13 (10:33):
I got time to finish that chicken wings watching for him,
all right.
Speaker 7 (10:40):
I lock the way he talked. Yahn boyd me. We
pretty much the same. We like a movie with a
monkey in it.
Speaker 13 (10:54):
Probably the biggest monkey there ever was had to be
Old King Kong, I reckon, I can you buy it
if and you want me to.
Speaker 7 (11:03):
Like you have a choice.
Speaker 13 (11:07):
Seems like there's this fella named of Carl Denham. His
family made some money in the dungaree trade, some folks
calling blue jeans. I called him dungrees.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Well.
Speaker 13 (11:21):
They wanted him to go into family business, but he
plumb had his heart set on making movies in Hollywood.
But not just any movies, monkey movies. They decided there
weren't no monkey it's worth a cuss in the city,
so we better go where there was monkeys. I had
this pretty little blonde haired girl. She wanted to make
(11:43):
monkey movies too, so he told her along. They all
got on this boat and when summer's called Schull Island.
He's a bunch of natives arm Carl Donna made friends
with them, gave him a brand new dungarease. Running around
(12:04):
stiff old blue jeans and a bone in their nose.
I am natives with plenty busy tending this big old
wall with a big old door on it.
Speaker 7 (12:15):
They made sure that.
Speaker 13 (12:16):
Doors kept locked. Sol's old King Kong couldn't get out.
Seemed to me they didn't want King Kong to get
out what They put up a door just his size.
I never did understand that part of it.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
Well of natives.
Speaker 13 (12:36):
Arm took a pretty big shine to that little blonde
haired girl. One night they took her off of that boat.
Arm threw the party for her over on Skull Island.
They figured Old King Kong could like her too, seeing
as how he'd been single for so long. She's a
mite nervous about meeting royalty, so they give her some
hard liquor to calm her down. They fixed up a
(13:00):
nice new dress made out of weeds and roots and whatnot.
Speaker 7 (13:04):
Put her out there on that old porch. Four too long.
Here come old King Kong. He liked that little girl
right off. He wreckeds you.
Speaker 13 (13:13):
The pretty little thing no bigger than one of them
giant squirrels are running around the jungle. A fellas on
the boat. They hear this commotion, they come and running.
But by that time Old King Kong done took cablond
girl and wandered off. Summers had Old Carl Denham, he'd
just tickled pink. He figured this whole adventure to make
(13:35):
a pretty swell monkey movie was with it having a
giant monkey and all. So he grabbed his camera them
fellas and they hot tailed it into the jungle after him.
All that jungle running took a lot out of King
Kong go because he's old and give out. So Carl
Denham and the boys finally caught up with him, but
(13:57):
he throwed most of them into a big old ditch
full of giant chiggers and crickets and these words what
each he had off, That's what he said. Carl Denham
got away. He went back for help. This other fellow
there the name of Jack. They followed King Kong, try
(14:17):
to save that girl. I reckon, he's in my sweet
owner too. Well, Sir King Kong took that little girl
back to his shed up on the mountain there and
made a stall out of a palm tree, dug her
a little hole of sleep in. She didn't get a chance,
getting no shut out though a Jack feller he come
(14:37):
got her. They runned off summers. King Kong weren't too happy,
but Ted, he said, out after him. He caught up
with them at ted big door. But I reckon they
forgot to lock it because he busted his smack through it.
They knocked him out, some gas bombs put him on
that boat towed him back to the big city. They
(14:58):
figured that did make a pretty good way, letting folks
gawking Old King Kong. They put a big old hat
and a bow tie on him, tried to teach him
to do a skin or two. That was on account
they didn't have a sea guard, and try to saying
big enough for him. But all Old King Kong really
wanted to spend time with that girl. When they raised
(15:21):
up that fancy curtain and them folks started making noise
and all them flashes went off, Well, sir Old King
Kong had enough of that nonsense. He bust loosed them chains,
grabbed that girl. He runs off. It was his first
trip to the big city, and he's having a big
time busting stuff up, wrecking trains and eating Yankees. He
(15:48):
thought they tasted kind of like corn. When city folks
didn't care for getting eat up none, they sent the
army after King Kong.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
He took that girl. I'm up on the tall buildings,
thinking he'd be safe. These airplanes come after him.
Speaker 13 (16:05):
They plumb filled him full of lead and he fell
off of that building, killed him, carl down him.
Speaker 7 (16:13):
He's yelling, what do you kill my monkey?
Speaker 13 (16:16):
Firm.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
What do you kill the monkey firm.
Speaker 13 (16:20):
He tried to get that little blonde haired girl to
take the blame, saying something about beauty killing the beast.
That Yankee crowd, they wouldn't have none of that. They
smelled blood. Knocking on King Kong off of that building
didn't satisfy them none. They got them a crane and
field dressed out. Old King Kong made potted meat for
(16:42):
the poor folks. Moral of the story is country boys
had an orthfold in over them.
Speaker 7 (16:49):
Senty girls. No matter how big you think you are,
you going down brother. The end.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Story time is brought to you by hard Graves potted
meat product a chuck full of peckers and lips. Since
nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 7 (17:07):
You reckon that potted meat they had head.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Monkey Good Monday morning Big shows on the radio.
Speaker 14 (17:41):
Listen it, Hello, friends, your old pelt bird burn Here
with another giblet tickling episode of John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Today's episode the hold up.
Speaker 14 (17:52):
As our story opens, a city slicker and his young
daughter are being robbed by a desperado in the Old West.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Now see here, young man, what is the meaning of this?
You must be new to the wild West. This is
called a hold up. Oh my, you're nothing but an outlaw. Well,
there's no such things as outlaws, really, mostly just gunslingers, desperadoes,
and vermin. Which one are you? Well, since you ask,
I've always fancied myself a desperado. I don't have the
(18:22):
weasley features to be a vermin, and I'm too lousy.
It was shot to be a gun slinger. Well, we
ain't got nothing worth stealing, so you can just skid
nattle you right about that. I rumming stew that wagon.
You've got nothing worth stealings. Maybe the wagon and the
horse they'll fetch a good price in deadwood.
Speaker 7 (18:40):
But that's all we got. We'll die out here.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
The Pony Express will be along shortly.
Speaker 14 (18:46):
Well, I must say you certainly live up to the
title of desperado.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Well, I thank you. It's satisfying to be recognized for
my abilities. You folks have a nice day. So many horses.
Speaker 14 (19:04):
Oh dear, Oh my all is lost. My life savings
were hidden in that wagon. Your mother will kill me.
I just want to eat a lettuce sandwich on gluten
bread and hide under a bearskin rug.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Don't worry, daddy, here's the money. Sweet fancy Moses, how
did you do that?
Speaker 11 (19:26):
Well?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
When the desperader showed up, I had all that money
in my mouth. I got my big mouth from my mama,
jimminy that swell. Oh I miss your mother.
Speaker 14 (19:37):
Why well, if your mother was here, we could have
saved the horse and the wagon too.
Speaker 15 (19:48):
And how.
Speaker 14 (19:50):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billie playhouse. Too
bad you didn't inherit her bosom. Two little buttons could
have saved the day. Tune in next time when we'll
hear the wacky Pony Express drivers say, hey, big man,
let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Captain's log start eight one eight zero zero, Big Show.
The crew and I have encountered the strange new alien race.
They appear basically humanoids, but they seem to be covered
by a strange gravy like substance. They're called John Bo
(20:33):
and Billy, commanders of something called the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Captain O good Monday morning. There's a big show on
(21:19):
the radio when John boys wonderful thing in the wig. Oh, hey,
don't get too many of these.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
A brand new cap from Draft Kings, A Draft Kings
beautiful white, nonstained.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Starts white too. You're not off there, thank you. It
hadn't been under my care flag at all. Draft Kings
has give him out too wonderful gamblers to show the instinct.
I just picked it up around here somewhere. We'll check
it out at the Big Show dot com. You can
(22:00):
be yours good morning, got the Big Show on the radio.
Coming up we play John Boy Jeoverty you win a
Red Max prizepag Red Max got the best trimmers and
blowers and commercial zero turn moores. Check them out with
their two year unlimited hour warning Kawasaki engines and heavy
duty fabricated deck. You can mold like a pro with Redmax.
(22:21):
Stick on the link when you hit the Big Show
dot com Loo first, all right, bring him in.
Speaker 15 (22:29):
Hello, fellow members of the Junior Diners club Sherman Brett
the Big Show Bright here with today's topic kids menus.
What kid doesn't like to dodge another playoff creatively disguised
leftovers and tag along with the folks. Do a nice
meal out. It's never any place fancy. They're probably afraid
(22:51):
that you'll break something. You get seated, and then comes
the billfare the menu. Your adrenaline pumps is your mind
spent the grease dripping treats that lay within its beakers.
Your hands start to shake, and just as you reach
to get it, the hostess jerks it away and slides
the kiddy menu in front of you. And to add
(23:12):
insult to injury, she either pinches your cheek or.
Speaker 6 (23:16):
Pats your heads the nerve of some people.
Speaker 15 (23:20):
Then you look down and see some crumby drawing of
some stupid animal or clown, or the dopey restaurant mascot
staring up at you, usually holding some off color cut
of meat yum yom. You know this sort of thing
is okay if you're three or four, But the day
you hit eight years old, this kind of thing sends
(23:42):
any normal kid over the edge. Just when you start
thinking of yourself as being at least a little grown up,
along comes some cartoon bear hawking you to color in
his balloons, please please, And what self respecting kid would
order anything with such stupid names. It's embarrassing Rudy fruity Petuti,
(24:07):
big bad wolf, liver and onions, Humpty dumpty eggs salad.
If you just try to tell them what you want,
the waitress tries to be cute and announces the stupid
thing at the top of her lungs. Everyone in the
place will be laughing, and they're not laughing with you.
If you protest, your folks give you the old skunk
(24:30):
eye and threaten ever to take you out again. So
the next time you go out with you folks, come
down with the little laryngitis. Hand the menu to your
old man and get him to order. It doesn't matter
what it is, just want to the stupidest sounding thing
on the menu. See if you don't get the adult menu,
then until next time. This is shrimming Bart reminding you
(24:53):
it's a kid's world.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Ruling, all right. De He is moved to Nashville managing
Jive Mother Mary. They let little Brett said in very talented,
very talented, listen to the latest single Save My Soul
from Jive Mother Mary, Spotify, Apple Music or wherever you
stream your music. And now let's win this big old
(25:18):
Redmax prospect, shall we. Twenty years before the Beatles stunned
Americans with young girls screaming, jumping, and fainting at their shows,
this famous musician was getting the same reaction, except he
was paying them to do it. Who is astroners that
(25:40):
didn't even work. What you all got one eight hundred
Big show you told free line across America. We play
John boyd jep Day next Good Monday morning, June seventeenth.
(26:15):
These show's on the radio. Today's feature track from the
bit Box Reverend Sincere and Goob with a panny assassins.
Gotta be talking about somebody else. Find out there. Search
for a key word, Hannis, when you hit the bedfoxead
the Big Show dot com and right now let's blame
Yells live across America.
Speaker 5 (26:37):
It's John Boy Jaffany and now a man who also
has been known to have young girls screaming, jumping and painting.
It was all you can eat burrito night at Kalapino
Da Papage.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
He's common boy see as a A. Michael out of Stedman,
North Carolina. Good morning, Mike, Good morning man. How'd your
day so buddy? Awesome so far. I'm glad you made
it in there, Michael. You got the first shot at
John boyde everardy this morning. All right.
Speaker 11 (27:12):
I appreciate that now the first time called all right.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
To go ahead, move me moved, Michael. That is buddy. Well,
let's review here twenty years before the Beatles stunned Americans
with young girls screaming, jumping, fainting at their shows. This
famous musician was getting the same reaction, except he was
paying them to do it. Who we talking about, Michael?
Speaker 11 (27:39):
I'm pretty sure I'm wrong because I think my time
friend's gonna be off. But I want to say Elvis.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
You won't say Elvis about that. Well, let's see, is
it Elvis?
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
No, no, yeah, I was didn't have to pay them girls,
That's that was Elvis.
Speaker 10 (27:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Later. Hey, well, Michael, we appreciate you playing, buddy. Try
again in time. Have a great day.
Speaker 11 (28:06):
Yes, sir, you have a fantastic with yourself. Thank you again.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Man. Let's go to Fisher down in Brunswick, Georgia. Good morning, Fisher,
Good morning, Good mor good morning buddy. All right, somebody
was paying them young girls twenty years for the Beatles.
That was not Elvis, not even his time here there.
But uh, what do you think you bout?
Speaker 11 (28:28):
Oh I'm first time called. But this is easy, all right,
Frank Sinatra.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Frank Sinatra, he says, assuredly, right, Frank Sinatra, but paying
the buhun cookie cookie? Huy? Hey, what good work with you, Fisher?
(28:54):
You got the big old price back head down to
Brunswick for you. Oh heck yeah, all right, buddy.
Speaker 11 (29:02):
Let me give you a shout out for these boys
at work. We got a long hot week coming up,
all right, man, go ahead, Oh Wilbur Johns and Den
Mother Good. They're drinking the water.
Speaker 10 (29:14):
Drink it in the water.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
There you go, Michael, y'all be careful out there, buddy.
Speaker 11 (29:19):
All right, thank you, quite a many hour top of
your news.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
Then we're gonna get our time capsule up for this
Monday morning. We can get us get old laugh I.
Speaker 16 (30:05):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
He hey, man, is it due rock?
Speaker 13 (30:27):
You know it?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Turn it up man now.
Speaker 17 (30:30):
From the people who brought you five Rock, It's DUI
Rock forties happy hits of the sixties, seventies and eighties,
just for the guy who always wanted to get laid
but never did.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
You'll get the.
Speaker 17 (30:40):
Class against you. Dedicated to that girl who wouldn't give
you the time of day. From Duieve artists like Low
Bowl Me, Eddie Holman, David Gates, n Brad, I bake
(31:02):
it with you. Jim Croochie could say time in a
bottle and many more, but waite. You also get do
we Brock. Two songs you played loud to try to
get girls to think you were cool with Percy Sledge, Tommy.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
James on the Shandeus the Association.
Speaker 17 (31:33):
Plus for you guys who actually got a girl to
go out with you, but she dumped you after two
or three dates, you'll get do we Brock. Three songs
you played while driving past her house at night, Crying
featuring the Bucking Camp, The Lighteous Brothers, Daddy o'keeth, Got a.
Speaker 18 (31:54):
Ween Son, Got a.
Speaker 17 (32:00):
Good Damn John, It's Got the Blue re e O,
Speedwaking Geez, and the King of the Dwebs Gilbert Host.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Hello, hunt Well Again.
Speaker 17 (32:22):
Dewey Rock forty seven hits on four big cassettes, four
contact discs or for the true Dweeb four eight tracks.
Not available in stores, you can only get it through
this special offer. Four cassettes nine ninety five, four CDs
nineteen ninety five, four eight tracks six fifty called out
of order operators are standing by. Come on call her,
You'll think of something to say. Just relax, be yourself, Hey,
(32:43):
what are you a chicken? Dui Rock Order now.
Speaker 10 (32:57):
Heys for leting us use your records.
Speaker 4 (32:58):
Right, John Boy and Billy I finally tapped into that
spirit of self destruction that makes rock and roll the
king of music.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Morning Radio dumb right your Monday morning, June seventeenth, Big
(33:43):
Shows on the radio, It's time for dumb crook news.
Dumb cruk story is sending from you the Big Show
listeners from all over the world. The address will follow
this report and today we're featuring a special Florida Man additions.
(34:04):
A twenty eight year old Merritt Island, Florida man called
nine one one and told dispatchers he needed to ride
to Hooters because his grandmother was having a medical emergency
in the restaurant's parking lot well. One deputy was sent
to pick up the man while another sped off to
the Hooters location. Once both cops were there, a three
(34:25):
hour long granny hunt was conducted in and around the Hooters. Eventually,
the man's grandmother was found to be safe and sound
at her home, with no medical emergency and surprisingly no
recent visits to Hooters there in the several months, honey
(34:46):
a Note police turned their attention to the grandson, who
they lost trigo during the confusion. He was later founded
a nearby burger king where he was helping his girlfriend
with car trouble, and he was for misuse of the
nine to one one system. Then armless forty six year
(35:06):
old Miami, Florida man has been charged with stabbing a tourist.
The armless man who was well known by local authorities
as a homeless man who works as a street artist
in Miami, where he paints abstract pictures with his feet
in exchange for handouts from tourists. One such tourist told
police he had stopped to admire the man's work and
(35:28):
then asking for directions. The armless artist suddenly became enraged,
pick up a pair of scissors with his foot, and
lunged at the tourists, stabbing him in his left arm.
Police arrested thee no arm bandit and charge him with
aggravated assault tourists was treated to release from a local hospital.
(35:49):
A twenty four year old West Palm Beach, Florida man
and his girlfriend were both accidentally ran over by a
police cruiser while the pair were laying in the road
trying to watch the lunary cliffs. He was a state
(36:09):
that he was traveling around a sharp left hand curve
curve who was around only five miles an hour when
he ran over the pair. At first he thought he
had hit an animal, but then discover the injured couple,
who were still laying in the road. So the couple
did not sustain life threatening injuries and were later released
(36:30):
from a local hospital.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
I've got an animal.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
And finally, a Marion County, Florida man was caught on
police radar going three times a speed limit. Well. The
officer attended to pull the man over, but he had
other ideas, so he turned off his headlights and tried
out running a cop, but when that didn't go so well,
he gave up and pulled over Well. The CoP's body
(36:55):
cam shows him walking up to the vehicle saying, sir,
do you know dude, do you seriously have an open
tall boy between your legs right now the way? The
man replied, uh, yeah, you want one. Officer declined the offer,
and the rest of the man for du wi Yeah.
(37:17):
It was later found to be more than four times
over the legal limit. During his booking, cops noticed he
was wearing a T shirt that read I'm the reason
the Beer's always gone. If you have dumb crook news.
Mail to dumb Crook News. John Boynbilly p O Box
one nine one one Charlotte and Ce two eight two
(37:40):
one nine. Email anybody but me at the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 11 (37:52):
You listen to the frame of.
Speaker 7 (37:53):
John boyn Billy.
Speaker 6 (37:55):
They played a hitch whyle you eat your bread because
they were to get down on the ground and turnt
you holloway around.
Speaker 13 (38:00):
If you don't know, you better ackle somebody.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Good Morning Baby Shows on the radio. Been having usome
fun with Pat Godwin and his guitar.
Speaker 18 (38:41):
I went to need to says something I was thinking
about it. Listen, why stepped on the scale and they
got a measure. They said, wait a minute, mister, there's
only so much we can don think livele sucktion. Maybe
(39:02):
they all the thing for you. Suck the fat off
my fanny, suck the sad you live, suck fat off
my fan.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
He's gonna leave a little help here, Dan, I said,
little help.
Speaker 7 (39:19):
You sucked the weight.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
You're right off Maye. Good Morning Big Shows on the radio.
Coming up, we play Beating the Blonde. Winter is a
mount Olive Pickles frizepike includes mount Olive hat, T shirt
and the three pick of pickle juicers. It's the number
one pickle brand in the United States, making great products
(39:43):
since nineteen twenty six. At the corner of Cucumber and vine.
Go to big Show dot Com. Click on the mount
Olive Pickles bonder get more info, hang on win it
in minutes. The first fun with Chuckie Cheese as promise.
Speaker 9 (39:58):
Right yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
To early man Man well dam Wilson's Chunky Cheese. So
in honor of Pop Pop Maurice over here, it's Morris
has got to feel some of my pain going to
Chunky Cheese over the weekend. He old and handsome.
Speaker 10 (40:24):
What you have see?
Speaker 1 (40:25):
That's the question I always asked.
Speaker 19 (40:27):
It's like a midget on meth convention. I got a
good business idea out of it, though, if you can
get the Valium and Xanax concession there and get them
going in little kids running, I tell you what though.
I used the tickets as weapons because I had a
little two year old kid right I was going around
with him, cute little kid named Jack. The other kids
(40:48):
kept getting awake up, saying, hey, you want a ticket,
give him a ticket. My left hand pushed my right
hand and get the kid right in the one time
k was sitting on a horse and didn't I didn't
have any money in it. He was a cent of Norris.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I went, h you want to get off? No, I
go here, you go right up the horse.
Speaker 11 (41:08):
Wow.
Speaker 19 (41:10):
And the little kids, I mean you know, they keep
trying to walk up the down slide. He were starting
to really pistoling off.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I don't think I'll be going back at a time soon.
Speaker 10 (41:23):
And the folks.
Speaker 19 (41:23):
I took David and his wife Sandy that they were
Chuck e Cheese virgins. They have been there for I
don't think they'll be going back a second time. We
left there to eat at Olive Guard. We didn't even
eat there.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
I mean me, I'll show you mouse.
Speaker 10 (41:41):
Boy, feel my pain.
Speaker 4 (41:45):
You know.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Matthew, young son down syndrome, just loves chunky cheese. He'll
still have his birthday parties there usually you know, his parents,
young kids. You go through it, and you know, then
you serve your time in chunky cheese and move on.
Eighteenth birthday Chuck E Cheese. He loves the band and
then a wife so she video tapes it. Now Maddie
(42:10):
has to bring it home and watch it. Oh, every
day yeah, purfose of it. To my buds, come over
to the house, Maddie, grab them. Come on and you
gotta sit there through the whole thing. To the big
rat says happy birthday.
Speaker 7 (42:25):
Boy.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Yeah, I like to punch that rat. I just got
a colard of love it.
Speaker 10 (42:30):
It's and I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 9 (42:33):
You're not gonna get any simple out.
Speaker 10 (42:35):
Of our buddy.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Tim Wilson wrote a little song about it, and this
is for Pop Pop.
Speaker 16 (42:41):
This morning, I got combat training from over seas. Now
I'm the boucher at the Chunky Cheese. I think I'd
rather do a year in jail and another afternoon in
chunky Cheese Hell.
Speaker 6 (42:55):
Chunky Cheese Hell. I'm in Chunky Cheese.
Speaker 16 (42:59):
He we tater do a snuck nose climb tail and
Jokie cheese Hell. Mama drives chippers at the Chunky Mame
watch he's in waller and some plastic balls. The band
sucks and the piece is cold and you eat it
with a slobber in four year old and chokie cheese hell.
(43:21):
Cupe with pepper on east heel smells the same. You
waste a pay check on a.
Speaker 6 (43:26):
Video game lined up out the door like the stones
are in town.
Speaker 16 (43:30):
Ain't enough chunky ass whippings to go around in chunkie
cheese Hell, I'm in chunkie cheese hell, squalling youngun's and
a ski ball bell.
Speaker 6 (43:42):
In chokie cheese Hell.
Speaker 16 (43:45):
I did two tours of duty and VI Vietnam, fighting
jungle rock and breathing Hey palm, but they couldn't torture
me half as well as a first day party in
chunky cheese hell.
Speaker 6 (43:57):
Joki cheese Hell, I'm in chunky cheese hell.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
So true, Oh fun, so man. I dreamed about chuck
and cheese last night too. By the way, I'm not surprised.
Let's get ready to play Beat and the Blonde. Tell
you what you can win as a mount Oli Pickles.
Prize pack includes mount olive hat, T shirt and a
three pack of pickled juicers, the number one pickle brand
(44:31):
in the US, making great products since nineteen twenty six.
At the corner of Cucumber and vine. Go to Big
Show dot com click on the mount Oli Pickles matter
get more info. All right, well, let's play one eight
hundred Big Show you told free line, Get a contestant
and good Next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.