July 15, 2024 • 38 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we honor Bill Silvers all morning with his Top 10 salutes to our Commander in Chief.. - Lipless has some Summertime Jokes.. - Alan Swann makes a cameo appearance.. - We fill a request for a commentary from Robert D. Raiford entitled Arthur Turdmore.. - and we’ll wrap up with a listener letter to Ike Turner..
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, and you got the Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Good morning. Thisious Connery Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star,
and you'd be right. What's my secret? The truth is
I can't stop my day without listening to the Big
Show with John Boy and Billy crush me. They're a
lot funnier than Doctor Noan blofeld O.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Goga doodle doo upping out them.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
It is Monday, July of fifteenth, and you got the
Big Show on the radio hamming down all the way
through the end of summer. Here boys and girls a ride.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
So okay, yeah, all right, it's gonna be hot.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
For a little bit longer.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Against as they was.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
National Days.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Got to celebrate this National I Love Horses Day yours
and equestrian lovers across the nations celebrate each year July fifteenth.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It's one of their favorite holidays.
Speaker 6 (01:46):
You've I hope seeing this new fad that's on TV
where young girls, like teenage girls are riding stick horses
in competitions.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
It's not in joke. It's the real thing. I'm telling you.
First time I thought about, Oh that's some spoof. No,
it looks like a bit off Saturday Night Live. It's
the real thing.
Speaker 7 (02:07):
They are serious.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I saw that on Espno, honestly, and if you ask,
I mean you see them in interviews.
Speaker 6 (02:15):
You see people going out, Now is this It's just
like if they'd ask a professional wrestler.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
All right, so what you do? Is it fake? You
know they get that upset? Of course it's wrong. Have
you seen it?
Speaker 7 (02:26):
Do you think the vendors out front have like you know,
and then there's this model and like little stuff to
put in their hair and everything, and the horses.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It is just insane. The world has gone crazy. You know,
you're making somebody mad.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Somebody who's got a wive and been loving horses all
her live in high school when I met her, she
had a horse, all right, you know, and then through
the lay years married to me, couldn't quite a foord
day horsey. And then then ah, yeah, as life goes on,
a chance to get a couple, you know, more horses.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
So speaking, is that the stick horse idea is genius
In the in the eighties, Wow streamers in their hair.
Oh crazy, I thought that's where you were going with
that in the lean years. I oh, yes, the stick
(03:25):
hard little girl. Man.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Okay, So anyway, so you know she's been cleaning out
her parents house, you know, time to do this. We
all go through that. And she brought home a butt
like boxes, a couple of boxes of these horse toys,
these toy horses.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Prayers and then and then what Brayer? That's the name
we my daughter went through that phase. Okay, r e
y e R. But that's the name of a horse.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
No, it's the name of the collection.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Well, okay, what I don't know how you know what
collection my wife has in the sixties. I don't think
Miranda goes far.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
But want check on that. Look up some prices. While
you're telling me what of them are very valuable?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
What about the cowboys and the Indians that go with them,
that have the they fit on the horses.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Some of these airs are raaring up.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
And someone were like they're running And I told him, man,
I would have killed for toys like that when I
was when I was a kid man. Why couldn't we
met earlier? I could be playing with these my whole life?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And then you played with them. Didn't You can't help it.
They're so cool.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
We'll look up the name mayor, mister Noah All say,
if you know what kind of horses my wife's got
box of?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
They're so cool?
Speaker 8 (04:35):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Okay, so anyway, have you checked how much they're work?
Speaker 4 (04:39):
No, that's next figure. I'm not gonna take Randy off
too bad because he's gonna have to do that for me.
All right, then, well, we got three days in history
saved up. Hey, this might be good for you cause
you can win a Low Tiger's prize packed gas card, hat,
t shirt and tumbler. That'll be a good little prize here.
One ain't hundred Big Show, but hang on to that.
(05:00):
I got to set you up first.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
We'll do it.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
We're awake, I'm all excited for someone's about my horse toys.
Big Show's on the radio. Good morning, Big Show's on
the radio. That Lord Tiger's prize pack ride here told
you about Lord Tiger's motorcycle Lawyers who Ride been representing
injured riders for over two decades. With Lord Tigers, you
never ride alone. All right, click on that link at
(05:22):
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Listen up right here.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Set you up with a big old prize pack. It
is July the fifteenth. It was nineteen sixty five. US
scientists displayed close up photographs of the planet Mars taken
by the spacecraft Mariner four sixty five.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
We got a picture of Mars. Move up to nineteen
seventy six.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
A school bus driver and twenty six children were kidnapped
near Chowchilla, California. Driver ed ray out smarter the kidnappers
and led the children to safety in Livermore. So I
don't know how he out with the drivers, but I
don't guess it matters Livermore for some reason. Okay, three
(06:11):
things on school bus, I work, and finally three tex Shram,
who turned the Dallas Cowboys into America's team, passed away
in Dallas at a d three.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
All right, think about Texas City's all right? One?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Eight hundred big shows you told free Line, come on
and play out birds next. Good morning, there's a big
(06:54):
show on the radio rolling through your Monday and today's
feature Rag from the Big Show bed Box got an
axe side.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
There's plenty of big fish in the pool.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Her turkey words big fish hit the Big Box at
the Bigshow dot com.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Upburst Let's play upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 9 (07:22):
John Boy and Billy give the prizes from the big
prize per Let's go contested number one. This should really
be a lot of fun when you're playing uppers. Have
a hurry up and guest time you love the best
time you love.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
A big shots.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Let's say had a John from Greenwood, South Carolina.
Speaker 10 (07:49):
We have shots.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Good morning, John's morning? Are you hey? We're all good?
Speaker 4 (08:02):
John, Welcome in here, buddy, glad. You made it sound
like you're.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Wake enough to win this big old Lord Tiger's prize pack.
You ready to go.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
I'm gonna do my best, all.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Right, were pulling for you. John. You got five seconds
to name three planets. Ready go Mercury be a smart boot,
oh man. Now five seconds to give us three things
on a school bus? Ready go stop stop sign arms
yellow and black.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yellow black color. Yeah, all right, and for the wind.
Three cities in Texas, Ready to.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
Go, Dallas, Austin, Houstas.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, that wasn't hard.
Speaker 7 (08:51):
Hey on the first time.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Collared All right, you're right, I'm collared right and I.
Speaker 10 (08:57):
Lived in Tennessee for sixteen years.
Speaker 11 (08:59):
Again a cock fan, But me and my friends made
a long time.
Speaker 10 (09:06):
Decision.
Speaker 9 (09:06):
Right.
Speaker 7 (09:07):
We pulled for each other every day, all the time,
except for two times a year.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
We don't really have a sound for that. But for
the first time, I mean, that's fine, okay.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
I just want to give a shout out to the
volunteer Nation for being number one and win the National Baseball.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
How about them volunteers we celebrated here, John sure did, Buddy.
How about them Games'll go step it up football this year? Huh?
Speaker 8 (09:35):
I hope so, I'm hoping.
Speaker 12 (09:37):
So we're looking good.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
All right, Well, I do have a sound for that
thirty eight fake eleven cunt on two right ahead break.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
That.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
That's the player I scored a touchdown on him my
football career. I'll never forget.
Speaker 12 (09:54):
I had.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
I want to tell you money, I'll pull for him to.
By the way, the hour tip of your news. Now,
it's starting to feel like.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
When summertime, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Right here in the middle of July, Levelis is gonna
start the summertime.
Speaker 13 (10:16):
You' around.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Can Ah morning.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
It is a big show on the radio celebrating summertime
bringing LEVELSS.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Warning there, y'all, war real warning all you inch ho
he hold you and yacky. I tell your favorite I
did jack you out? You hang on, You're gonna love me.
Speaker 12 (11:09):
You won't worry.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I want it. I think you got.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Well out hard time here again someb's well season out?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
All?
Speaker 9 (11:19):
I would it?
Speaker 7 (11:20):
We are time hot. Time does get hot in the summer.
Speaker 13 (11:23):
You know what?
Speaker 14 (11:24):
You don't touch my talking and the breeze kind of
cools we ally, I'm wrong on what load on my
havard yoking about summer time?
Speaker 7 (11:34):
But summer time?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Ready? The falls begin? The balls?
Speaker 7 (11:41):
Oh, let the goo falls be?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Where do sheep slaying their summer vacation?
Speaker 7 (11:48):
Where does sheep spend their summer vacation in the Bahamas?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Why not think you that?
Speaker 13 (11:57):
Why?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Somewhere cool?
Speaker 7 (11:58):
Cold?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I can't take us right all?
Speaker 7 (12:00):
I can't take their sweater?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Where sharks go on vacation?
Speaker 7 (12:06):
Where do sharks finland?
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I had her wants any word and won't any.
Speaker 7 (12:18):
What do you get when you called her elephant with
a What do you get when you cross an elephant
with a fish swimming trunks?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I had, I don't know what look out when it
was a canon wall in the womb?
Speaker 7 (12:33):
Oh there you go?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
All right?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Okay, were over? Who's irish? And he's outside all summer long.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Who's irish and stays outside all summer long? Patty old furniture?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I had old skin cancer cancer me. What's thet shying
to do if you lose your y'all at the hunt factory?
Speaker 7 (13:09):
The best thing to do if you lose your job
at the sun tam Lusion factory, reapply every thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I had take a good hard look if you like,
because you probably could do that life coach right right right?
Why couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new Pirate?
Speaker 7 (13:32):
I couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new pirate?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
New Pirate?
Speaker 7 (13:36):
It was rated?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I have no idea, that's what would you have?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I had?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
It shows who was woody?
Speaker 7 (13:46):
It shows too much booty?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Why does a woe never take ammer?
Speaker 9 (13:53):
Right?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Cake?
Speaker 7 (13:54):
Why does the mommy mummy never take a summer vacation? Well,
he's scared to unwind?
Speaker 10 (14:02):
Got he waited?
Speaker 13 (14:03):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Because I had caught the dead?
Speaker 7 (14:08):
Because he's dead?
Speaker 8 (14:11):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I got the wed finish. What's the only time you
go while it's red it's top when it turns green?
Speaker 7 (14:20):
The only time you go while it's red and stop
when it turns green when you're eating a watermelon.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
That summertime for I had when you drunk?
Speaker 7 (14:33):
When you're drunk, well.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I said, where is trapped? Next time? That s all
what he listen saying? This says yo, what he lives.
Listen y'r hello, liss Hver, Good morning. It's a big
(15:11):
sean the radio.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
And in about twenty minutes we gonna kick all the
special Bill Silver's Monday. He said he wanted to celebrate
Biden's debate performance four.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Weeks ago, and he's just a guy to do it.
We'll get going with that ud right now, Lessy.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Hello, friends, you're old pal Burnburn here with another spleen
splintering entry of John Boy and Billy Playhouse Today's episode
The Unforgivable Sin. As our Story opens, Ricky b Sharp
returns home after a frustrating visits to his sister in law's, but.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
The break friends lose at home. Where's the brown liquor?
Speaker 10 (15:56):
It's all poured and all detained, he got, I gotta.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Skip the glass. Just give me a bottle and a straw.
Speaker 8 (16:02):
Oh, your damn sister is a chain smoking gap tooth
you and a brown cherry picker.
Speaker 10 (16:09):
I'm sure it wasn't that bad. I mean, she always
has such nice things to say about you.
Speaker 9 (16:14):
Roll the stuff I do for her, and her did
be the husband?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I'm sure she does, but the fact remains hater. I'm sorry.
Uh oh, what's wrong with you? Looks like someone crapped
in your cocoa pebbles.
Speaker 10 (16:30):
Well, Ricky, I know this isn't a good time for
this conversation, but there is something I need.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
To tell you. Oh boy, here we go. Okay, let's
hear it. What now?
Speaker 8 (16:42):
Did you beat the bartender at arm wrestling again? No,
using the men room urinal at the highlow End?
Speaker 9 (16:48):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:49):
Did you choke slam that little Korean gal for making
fun of your talents at the pedicure place? No, you
put shaving cream around your mouth and chase the neighbor kids.
Speaker 9 (16:57):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:58):
Oh wait, I know you got caught putting mega bumper
stickers on cars at the community college again.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Lucy, How could I be mad about that?
Speaker 10 (17:06):
Oh, Ricky, I'm afraid this is bad. I mean really bad,
I mean really really bad.
Speaker 13 (17:14):
Oh, Lucy.
Speaker 7 (17:15):
Uh huh oh, Lucy, No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
No, no, no, Lucy, Please say it ain't so not bad? Huh?
I can't believe.
Speaker 8 (17:25):
In almost believable, we have finally gone and violated your
vows are love, honor, and obey.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
You have gone and talked to it all over our
marriage license.
Speaker 8 (17:37):
And worst of all, you have destroyed my career as
pether rot.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Watch, folks, find out what you've been doing. My life
is Doting's most beloved fast food. Messed will be over.
I'll be a laughing stock.
Speaker 8 (17:53):
And then who takes over Dinky Dave's the donut hole
and Dinky Donuts a hole? Lord?
Speaker 13 (18:01):
Who me.
Speaker 9 (18:04):
Here?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Are you dood huh?
Speaker 8 (18:07):
Ricky?
Speaker 10 (18:08):
None of that happened. It's worse than that, much much worse.
Oh no, yeah, I told my sister and her husband
we'd have dinner with them.
Speaker 13 (18:26):
And how.
Speaker 8 (18:28):
We hope you've enjoyed John Bully and Billy Playhouse. I'd
rather a coat, thinky.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Dave, I'm doing your top two Cottons.
Speaker 8 (18:36):
Tune in next time when we'll hear Lucy's chain smoking
gaptooth You and the brow cherry pickers sister say hey, big.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Man, let me hold a dollar, And the oscar goes to.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Good Morning, and you got the big show on the radio.
More chance for you to win coming up? After your news,
weather and sports. Oh oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I didn't see you there.
Speaker 15 (19:00):
This is Professor Merwyn handed Day, head of hey ah oh,
head of Big Show Science and History Division. And you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 13 (19:16):
Yo.
Speaker 8 (19:17):
When I say there'll be history, I didn't mean to
apply a negative.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I simply meant that they they Oh what did I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Good morning?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
This is a big show on the radio, y'all always wonderful.
Pain give me a wave.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Sit on number one hundred and ten with the last
shortened work week last week with the fourth and all
the double triple Excel T shirt. I live in the
United statesys offend. Oh there, I am holding it. He
was that good looking at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
He's like, iin't happy to dose two. Check it out.
Gets your name of the hat and see if you
get a win.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
I did our Bill, Silver is Monday. Take it off
in minutes, A big show rolls on Good Morning, Big
shows on the radio. Hang right there, Bill, go and
throw it to you in a second. Let me tell
you about the prize pack you can win on John
Boy Jeopardy played in minutes. Waffle House, Yeah, a waffle
(20:51):
House bag of swag. Man got a cool hat? How
about this hat I'm wearing?
Speaker 8 (20:55):
You like it?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Oh yellow waffle House color?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
You got a cool T shirt as friends don't let
friends eat pancakes?
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Wabble House tote bag.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
So wable House had another thousand locations nationwide. These high
energy leaders to make it happen, get great paying full benefits,
and ply online at waffle House dot com slash careers.
Click on the banner at the Big Show dot com.
Hang on play for minutes right now, go bill.
Speaker 8 (21:24):
It's an election year, Oh joy, but it looks like
another geezer palooza come November. But one of the geezers
is far better suited for the job than the other one.
So let's make fun of the other one, shall we.
That's right, Slow Joe Biden still claiming be full of
vim and vigor when he's really full of something else.
I mean, let's face it, folks, he never was and
never will be suited to be the person pretending to
(21:46):
be the president while other people pull his strings. Oh baba,
excuse me, I had a Communist in my throat, But
that doesn't mean this doddering old sack of rancid oat
pulp couldn't be gainfully employed doing something else. We know
he's not going to be a brain donor, folks, but
other positions are available now from the home office in
elon Omar's husband.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Brother sock drawer.
Speaker 8 (22:07):
Here's the top ten jobs Joe Biden is better suited four.
Number ten a doorstop. Number nine Terry Henson's diction coach
A B A B A B A B A B.
Number eight a crash test dummy stunt.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Double.
Speaker 8 (22:28):
Number seven a cabbage whoa the texture and the color
are remarkably.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
The same as his skin.
Speaker 8 (22:35):
Number six a laboratory monkey, no offense to monkeys everywhere
listening to the show. Number five a magician. He sure
made the border and my four oh one kite disappear.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I'll tell you that right now.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Number four Harvard University professor of plagiarism. He's copied so
many people who want to change his last name to Minola.
Number three village idiot John Boys off the hook. Number
two spokesman for the hair clip for men told patients.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
And the number one.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
Job Joe Biden has better suited for Donald Trump's food tester.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Too soon, right it again, brand new and first by
coming up about little over thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Gotta be here for that.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Right now, let's play John BOYD Jeopardies, jump right in here.
Since the nineteen thirties, this classic candy has been surrounded
by a persistent but false urban legend. The legend claims
that if your candy wrapper shows a kid shooting at
a star with a bow and arrow, you could win
free candy or other prizes.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
Oh that was the popular What is Pearson's nut roll?
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Pierce's this Star?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
No No, No, no Star? So what of y'all got one?
Eight hundred Big Show? You told free loud across America.
We played joy Board Jeopardy next you laugh.
Speaker 7 (24:21):
They liked it.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Good morning, there's a Big Show on the radio. Were
running through your Monday Julight of fifteenth. Today's feature track
from the Big Show, Big Bomb, just a ax like
there's plenty of big fishing a pool, sir forgee words
big fish, the big fish in the pool then, because
let's see if he's mixed up? Yeah, hit the big
box hat the Big Show dot com and right now,
(25:11):
let's play.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yeas live across America. It's jumboy, jempany and now your host.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Once in a while he gets a bit nervous and excited,
but we calmed him down by giving him candy.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Lum sick calls, jump yung, eat him up.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
He's John boy there you let's say hed Ethan out
of Knoxville, Tennessee. Good morning, Ethan, Good morning, Hey buddy,
welcome man. How about that last hour was talking to
a boy from South Carolina the pool of Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Was Bud won the National Baseball Championship.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Congratulations if you are vall there, Ethan, I am go
balls all right, buddy. Well, let's see what you know
about classic candy. Since the nineteen thirties, this classic candy
has been surrounded by a persistent but false urban legend.
The legend claims, if your candy rapper shows a kid
shooting at a star with a bow and arrow, you
(26:13):
could win free candy or other prizes.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
What do you think it is, Ethan?
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Use a tutsi pops by the way, Taters. Yes, Pearson's
nut roll was a candy. She looked up with candy
in the thirties and really.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Looking and crunchy roasted peanuts goes in caramel and cheating
the goal like nut Rose Uncle Jeorge.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
But a Tutsy pop so yeah, man, you'll check it out.
So anyway, Tutsy says, no, that's not that's not right.
And one in four of their rappers shows this kid
with an Indian headdress on shooting at a star.
Speaker 9 (26:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Had you ever heard of No? I never heard that.
I had when I was a kid.
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Did you hear that? Don't believe anything? Like stop writing us,
We're not giving away anything.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Meanwhile, of Graham North Carolina, I was saving him mallow
cup deal coins so many points.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yeah, yeah, they had paper coins in them, so I
saved up for probably about two or three years. I
got like about four mallow cups, so I said, wow,
I learned early more than I did, and I saved
as many.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Right now, they still include them in the mallow cups
if you buy them, but I don't know if they
actually do have.
Speaker 12 (27:38):
A redemption for that. Okay, well, and you can still
buy them. Well, good well, Ethan, And look at you, buddy,
You get the big old waffle House prize pack out
of all this candy. Question a on the body, I
(27:58):
can hook you up?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
WoT a mine hour? Top of your news.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
On the other side of our time, cats over this
Monday morning, Monday Morning Live coming up.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (29:04):
My read man, My ried man drives around in a minivan.
Speaker 7 (29:09):
Hi Powe has no single wife?
Speaker 9 (29:11):
Will let him do what a she says? It's about
timing grooves.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Well, there's a screw loves.
Speaker 7 (29:19):
You'll find the married man, last time married man, College Buddy,
drinking Buddy and drinking Buddies. Idiot Pal Smiley were preparing
for a free trip to Hollywood compliments of Power one
oh seven point two FM, when a quick guest shot
on the Monkey in the Morning Show took a rather
unexpected turn.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Hey Manica, get this married guy left dance? You got it,
monkey man.
Speaker 7 (29:45):
Which was quickly followed by another unexpected time could you
excuse me for just a second?
Speaker 13 (29:51):
Man?
Speaker 7 (29:52):
Hello, Hi, honey bunny, what's that you're listening to the show?
Speaker 9 (29:59):
Now?
Speaker 7 (29:59):
I heroes climbing to that waiting limousine to make that
way to the airport.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So how'd honey bunny take the whole lap dance thing
about like you'd think? Well, she's got a whole week
to cool off while you're in Hollywood. Hey, where's drinking buddy?
Speaker 7 (30:12):
He's still talking to the paramedics. One of them said
his pal Smiley might have alcohol poisoned. So our trip
for fords down to a trip for three hunt looks
that way. Heyy guy, bad news. Smiley's going to the
hospital and he ain't gonna be able.
Speaker 13 (30:27):
To go with it.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
Really, Oh gee, what a shame. But the good news
is I found this a substitute.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
You did, hey, fellas who's ready to have some fun?
Speaker 7 (30:36):
What Monica Minks, the lap dancing stripper from the radio show.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Wow, Hey, then for nice work? How do you close
that deal?
Speaker 7 (30:44):
What can I say? Trip George, I got cards? I
ain't showing no, no, really, how'd you do it? I
told her we'd get her a part in the movie
Pretty slick?
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Huh uh?
Speaker 7 (30:53):
Monica, would you excuse us for just a second. Don't
leave me too long, honey, I might get lonely. This
might not be such a good idea. Well you mean,
now we got the perfect superteam. I'm a married guy,
college guy, drinking guy, and stripper girl. Hey, sway thing
you ready to be a movie sir? You know I
(31:14):
think the movie did isn't exactly a sure thing. The
radio station only promised to get us a screen test.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
I know that, but she don't.
Speaker 7 (31:23):
Besides, could you say no to a package like that?
I'm so shut up, College buddy. Excuse me just a second. Guys. Hello, Hi, honey, bunny.
What's that. Yeah, we're just getting ready to leave the
radio station. Well, it's me college buddy and drinking Buddy. No,
I don't think Smiley is going to be able to
make it after all. What's that Monica the stripper? Why
(31:46):
would you think she's going a lot? Oh? You just
heard Monkey in the Morning say it on the radio.
Gee hunh I hadn't heard that. But you know, we're
really just tagging along with drinking buddy. He's actually calling
the shots.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
So what.
Speaker 7 (32:00):
No, I don't think you're some kind of an idiot. Look, honey,
this is strictly a business trip. You don't have anything
to worry about. Listen, we need to get going. I'll
call you when we get to the airport. Yes, okay,
sweetie by it.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Must be tough being you.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
You have no idea. Okay, come on in, big girl.
We're headed for Hollywood, So do I get a fancy
superhero costume. Like you, guys, you look good in anything,
big girl and you look even better and nothing. Hey,
who needs a cocktail?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
I'll take one. There's a big surprise, Hey, driver, guy.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
Can you turn the radio on? I won't see if
they're still talking about.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
It minutes away from the hour.
Speaker 13 (32:41):
I am monkey in the morning, So the superhero team
is off the Hollywood compliments A power one O seven
point two.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Hey hit that married guy's wife never speaks to him again.
Speaker 13 (32:51):
You got that right, especially when they discover our little
surprise waiting for him in Hollywood Surprise. Yeah, you know
that screen thst we gave him as the prize package. Well,
I set it up with Seymour butt Steins. He's the
director of such American classic films this Jurassic Pork Doctor,
do me a Little and Crouching Tiger Humping Dragon.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
You got him an audition for a porno movie.
Speaker 13 (33:14):
Yeah, that'll make that left dance thing look like nothing
for a monkey.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
You're one sick little poppy. I can't help, oh, Seymour
bud Steene. Wow, he does really good stuff.
Speaker 13 (33:26):
I like you girl.
Speaker 7 (33:27):
Here, driver, would you turn the radio back off?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Please?
Speaker 7 (33:35):
Pully, Hi James, so much for getting back on track.
Will I hear allays make it to the airport in
time for the flight? Will married man's wife speak to
him when he gets back? Will Smiley's liver ever recover
for the answers? Tune in for our next sphincter tightening adventure,
Same married time, Same married channel.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
There's a you find the married man, Jun Boy and
Billy Good Morning Radio, done right.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Good morning make shows on the radio. May be watching
bait you know? All right, Old Joe, my God, use
a little help. So we bring in Bill Silvers.
Speaker 8 (34:46):
Hello, fellow taxpayers, your old friend Bill Silver's here.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Lucky you.
Speaker 8 (34:51):
Ah, It's an election year, another chance to get screwed over,
and before you know it, you'll be wasting a trip
to the polls, only to have eighty one million people
miraculously appear after two am on election day and slapped
that smile off your face. Joe Biden, whose theme song
should have been The Wanderer. Joe Biden, who could cater
(35:11):
one of his rallies with a bucket of chicken and
have leftovers.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Joe Biden couldn't be the sharpest guy in the room.
If you filed his head to a point. But I digress.
Speaker 8 (35:23):
Believe it or not, there are actually people out there
who will enthusiastically vote for Joe Biden after four years
of well, I don't have to tell you now. When
you ask them why, they'll mumble something about Orange Man
bad and wander off like their hero.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
But if you're looking for good, solid, concrete reasons to
cast your.
Speaker 8 (35:41):
Vote for a guy who walks around like he's got
two crab cakes in his shorts, you've come to the
right place. From the home office, next to the closet
that Chuck Schumer's been in for the last forty years,
comes the top ten reasons people are voting for Joe Biden.
Number ten, you suddenly realize there are enough fentanyl dealers
in your neighborhood. Number nine you think groceries have always
(36:07):
been too cheap. Number eight you enjoy giving your gas
money to foreigners. Number seven. Too many people in this
country are speaking English for your liking. Number six you're
terribly worried about the border in Ukraine.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Number five you're.
Speaker 8 (36:35):
Hoping to impress the hot looking liberal girls, both of them.
Number four you've always dreamed of being homeless. Number three
you don't think there should be an age limit on
sniffing children.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Number two, you also have a.
Speaker 8 (36:58):
Son with a laptop full of pictures of under hookers.
And the number one reason you're going to vote for
Joe Biden. You're a big fan of The Walking Dead.
Too soon, maybe not soon enough. Good morning to make
(37:18):
show us on the radio. Hang over your local news
weather sports.
Speaker 10 (37:23):
This is Royal.
Speaker 15 (37:24):
That is the King Veto, slayer of the Visigals, destroyer
of the Mongol.
Speaker 8 (37:31):
And aggravator of the Ottoman Empact.
Speaker 15 (37:35):
All listening to my two royal jests, those gap toothed
barbarians John Boy and Billy on you old big show.
Speaker 11 (37:44):
A rise a loyal of beef, A rise Duke of Ellington,
rise water of ten, essence of morp milk vectisia
Speaker 15 (38:01):
A con them m sand
Good morning, and you got the Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Good morning. Thisious Connery Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star,
and you'd be right. What's my secret? The truth is
I can't stop my day without listening to the Big
Show with John Boy and Billy crush me. They're a
lot funnier than Doctor Noan blofeld O.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Goga doodle doo upping out them.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
It is Monday, July of fifteenth, and you got the
Big Show on the radio hamming down all the way
through the end of summer. Here boys and girls a ride.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
So okay, yeah, all right, it's gonna be hot.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
For a little bit longer.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
Against as they was.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
National Days.
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Got to celebrate this National I Love Horses Day yours
and equestrian lovers across the nations celebrate each year July fifteenth.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It's one of their favorite holidays.
Speaker 6 (01:46):
You've I hope seeing this new fad that's on TV
where young girls, like teenage girls are riding stick horses
in competitions.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
It's not in joke. It's the real thing. I'm telling you.
First time I thought about, Oh that's some spoof. No,
it looks like a bit off Saturday Night Live. It's
the real thing.
Speaker 7 (02:07):
They are serious.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I saw that on Espno, honestly, and if you ask,
I mean you see them in interviews.
Speaker 6 (02:15):
You see people going out, Now is this It's just
like if they'd ask a professional wrestler.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
All right, so what you do? Is it fake? You
know they get that upset? Of course it's wrong. Have
you seen it?
Speaker 7 (02:26):
Do you think the vendors out front have like you know,
and then there's this model and like little stuff to
put in their hair and everything, and the horses.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
It is just insane. The world has gone crazy. You know,
you're making somebody mad.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
Somebody who's got a wive and been loving horses all
her live in high school when I met her, she
had a horse, all right, you know, and then through
the lay years married to me, couldn't quite a foord
day horsey. And then then ah, yeah, as life goes on,
a chance to get a couple, you know, more horses.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
So speaking, is that the stick horse idea is genius
In the in the eighties, Wow streamers in their hair.
Oh crazy, I thought that's where you were going with
that in the lean years. I oh, yes, the stick
(03:25):
hard little girl. Man.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Okay, So anyway, so you know she's been cleaning out
her parents house, you know, time to do this. We
all go through that. And she brought home a butt
like boxes, a couple of boxes of these horse toys,
these toy horses.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Prayers and then and then what Brayer? That's the name
we my daughter went through that phase. Okay, r e
y e R. But that's the name of a horse.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
No, it's the name of the collection.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Well, okay, what I don't know how you know what
collection my wife has in the sixties. I don't think
Miranda goes far.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
But want check on that. Look up some prices. While
you're telling me what of them are very valuable?
Speaker 4 (04:04):
What about the cowboys and the Indians that go with them,
that have the they fit on the horses.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Some of these airs are raaring up.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
And someone were like they're running And I told him, man,
I would have killed for toys like that when I
was when I was a kid man. Why couldn't we
met earlier? I could be playing with these my whole life?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And then you played with them. Didn't You can't help it.
They're so cool.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
We'll look up the name mayor, mister Noah All say,
if you know what kind of horses my wife's got
box of?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
They're so cool?
Speaker 8 (04:35):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Okay, so anyway, have you checked how much they're work?
Speaker 4 (04:39):
No, that's next figure. I'm not gonna take Randy off
too bad because he's gonna have to do that for me.
All right, then, well, we got three days in history
saved up. Hey, this might be good for you cause
you can win a Low Tiger's prize packed gas card, hat,
t shirt and tumbler. That'll be a good little prize here.
One ain't hundred Big Show, but hang on to that.
(05:00):
I got to set you up first.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
We'll do it.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
We're awake, I'm all excited for someone's about my horse toys.
Big Show's on the radio. Good morning, Big Show's on
the radio. That Lord Tiger's prize pack ride here told
you about Lord Tiger's motorcycle Lawyers who Ride been representing
injured riders for over two decades. With Lord Tigers, you
never ride alone. All right, click on that link at
(05:22):
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Listen up right here.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Set you up with a big old prize pack. It
is July the fifteenth. It was nineteen sixty five. US
scientists displayed close up photographs of the planet Mars taken
by the spacecraft Mariner four sixty five.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
We got a picture of Mars. Move up to nineteen
seventy six.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
A school bus driver and twenty six children were kidnapped
near Chowchilla, California. Driver ed ray out smarter the kidnappers
and led the children to safety in Livermore. So I
don't know how he out with the drivers, but I
don't guess it matters Livermore for some reason. Okay, three
(06:11):
things on school bus, I work, and finally three tex Shram,
who turned the Dallas Cowboys into America's team, passed away
in Dallas at a d three.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
All right, think about Texas City's all right? One?
Speaker 4 (06:26):
Eight hundred big shows you told free Line, come on
and play out birds next. Good morning, there's a big
(06:54):
show on the radio rolling through your Monday and today's
feature Rag from the Big Show bed Box got an
axe side.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
There's plenty of big fish in the pool.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Her turkey words big fish hit the Big Box at
the Bigshow dot com.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Upburst Let's play upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 9 (07:22):
John Boy and Billy give the prizes from the big
prize per Let's go contested number one. This should really
be a lot of fun when you're playing uppers. Have
a hurry up and guest time you love the best
time you love.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
A big shots.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Let's say had a John from Greenwood, South Carolina.
Speaker 10 (07:49):
We have shots.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Good morning, John's morning? Are you hey? We're all good?
Speaker 4 (08:02):
John, Welcome in here, buddy, glad. You made it sound
like you're.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Wake enough to win this big old Lord Tiger's prize pack.
You ready to go.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
I'm gonna do my best, all.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Right, were pulling for you. John. You got five seconds
to name three planets. Ready go Mercury be a smart boot,
oh man. Now five seconds to give us three things
on a school bus? Ready go stop stop sign arms
yellow and black.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yellow black color. Yeah, all right, and for the wind.
Three cities in Texas, Ready to.
Speaker 6 (08:42):
Go, Dallas, Austin, Houstas.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, that wasn't hard.
Speaker 7 (08:51):
Hey on the first time.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Collared All right, you're right, I'm collared right and I.
Speaker 10 (08:57):
Lived in Tennessee for sixteen years.
Speaker 11 (08:59):
Again a cock fan, But me and my friends made
a long time.
Speaker 10 (09:06):
Decision.
Speaker 9 (09:06):
Right.
Speaker 7 (09:07):
We pulled for each other every day, all the time,
except for two times a year.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
We don't really have a sound for that. But for
the first time, I mean, that's fine, okay.
Speaker 7 (09:17):
I just want to give a shout out to the
volunteer Nation for being number one and win the National Baseball.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
How about them volunteers we celebrated here, John sure did, Buddy.
How about them Games'll go step it up football this year? Huh?
Speaker 8 (09:35):
I hope so, I'm hoping.
Speaker 12 (09:37):
So we're looking good.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
All right, Well, I do have a sound for that
thirty eight fake eleven cunt on two right ahead break.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
That.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
That's the player I scored a touchdown on him my
football career. I'll never forget.
Speaker 12 (09:54):
I had.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
I want to tell you money, I'll pull for him to.
By the way, the hour tip of your news. Now,
it's starting to feel like.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
When summertime, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Right here in the middle of July, Levelis is gonna
start the summertime.
Speaker 13 (10:16):
You' around.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Can Ah morning.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
It is a big show on the radio celebrating summertime
bringing LEVELSS.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
Warning there, y'all, war real warning all you inch ho
he hold you and yacky. I tell your favorite I
did jack you out? You hang on, You're gonna love me.
Speaker 12 (11:09):
You won't worry.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I want it. I think you got.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Well out hard time here again someb's well season out?
Speaker 3 (11:18):
All?
Speaker 9 (11:19):
I would it?
Speaker 7 (11:20):
We are time hot. Time does get hot in the summer.
Speaker 13 (11:23):
You know what?
Speaker 14 (11:24):
You don't touch my talking and the breeze kind of
cools we ally, I'm wrong on what load on my
havard yoking about summer time?
Speaker 7 (11:34):
But summer time?
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Ready? The falls begin? The balls?
Speaker 7 (11:41):
Oh, let the goo falls be?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Where do sheep slaying their summer vacation?
Speaker 7 (11:48):
Where does sheep spend their summer vacation in the Bahamas?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Why not think you that?
Speaker 13 (11:57):
Why?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Somewhere cool?
Speaker 7 (11:58):
Cold?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I can't take us right all?
Speaker 7 (12:00):
I can't take their sweater?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Where sharks go on vacation?
Speaker 7 (12:06):
Where do sharks finland?
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I had her wants any word and won't any.
Speaker 7 (12:18):
What do you get when you called her elephant with
a What do you get when you cross an elephant
with a fish swimming trunks?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
I had, I don't know what look out when it
was a canon wall in the womb?
Speaker 7 (12:33):
Oh there you go?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
All right?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Okay, were over? Who's irish? And he's outside all summer long.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Who's irish and stays outside all summer long? Patty old furniture?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I had old skin cancer cancer me. What's thet shying
to do if you lose your y'all at the hunt factory?
Speaker 7 (13:09):
The best thing to do if you lose your job
at the sun tam Lusion factory, reapply every thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
I had take a good hard look if you like,
because you probably could do that life coach right right right?
Why couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new Pirate?
Speaker 7 (13:32):
I couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new pirate?
Speaker 1 (13:35):
New Pirate?
Speaker 7 (13:36):
It was rated?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
I have no idea, that's what would you have?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
I had?
Speaker 1 (13:44):
It shows who was woody?
Speaker 7 (13:46):
It shows too much booty?
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Why does a woe never take ammer?
Speaker 9 (13:53):
Right?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Cake?
Speaker 7 (13:54):
Why does the mommy mummy never take a summer vacation? Well,
he's scared to unwind?
Speaker 10 (14:02):
Got he waited?
Speaker 13 (14:03):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Because I had caught the dead?
Speaker 7 (14:08):
Because he's dead?
Speaker 8 (14:11):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
I got the wed finish. What's the only time you
go while it's red it's top when it turns green?
Speaker 7 (14:20):
The only time you go while it's red and stop
when it turns green when you're eating a watermelon.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
That summertime for I had when you drunk?
Speaker 7 (14:33):
When you're drunk, well.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I said, where is trapped? Next time? That s all
what he listen saying? This says yo, what he lives.
Listen y'r hello, liss Hver, Good morning. It's a big
(15:11):
sean the radio.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
And in about twenty minutes we gonna kick all the
special Bill Silver's Monday. He said he wanted to celebrate
Biden's debate performance four.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Weeks ago, and he's just a guy to do it.
We'll get going with that ud right now, Lessy.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Hello, friends, you're old pal Burnburn here with another spleen
splintering entry of John Boy and Billy Playhouse Today's episode
The Unforgivable Sin. As our Story opens, Ricky b Sharp
returns home after a frustrating visits to his sister in law's, but.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
The break friends lose at home. Where's the brown liquor?
Speaker 10 (15:56):
It's all poured and all detained, he got, I gotta.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Skip the glass. Just give me a bottle and a straw.
Speaker 8 (16:02):
Oh, your damn sister is a chain smoking gap tooth
you and a brown cherry picker.
Speaker 10 (16:09):
I'm sure it wasn't that bad. I mean, she always
has such nice things to say about you.
Speaker 9 (16:14):
Roll the stuff I do for her, and her did
be the husband?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I'm sure she does, but the fact remains hater. I'm sorry.
Uh oh, what's wrong with you? Looks like someone crapped
in your cocoa pebbles.
Speaker 10 (16:30):
Well, Ricky, I know this isn't a good time for
this conversation, but there is something I need.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
To tell you. Oh boy, here we go. Okay, let's
hear it. What now?
Speaker 8 (16:42):
Did you beat the bartender at arm wrestling again? No,
using the men room urinal at the highlow End?
Speaker 9 (16:48):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:49):
Did you choke slam that little Korean gal for making
fun of your talents at the pedicure place? No, you
put shaving cream around your mouth and chase the neighbor kids.
Speaker 9 (16:57):
No?
Speaker 8 (16:58):
Oh wait, I know you got caught putting mega bumper
stickers on cars at the community college again.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Lucy, How could I be mad about that?
Speaker 10 (17:06):
Oh, Ricky, I'm afraid this is bad. I mean really bad,
I mean really really bad.
Speaker 13 (17:14):
Oh, Lucy.
Speaker 7 (17:15):
Uh huh oh, Lucy, No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
No, no, no, Lucy, Please say it ain't so not bad? Huh?
I can't believe.
Speaker 8 (17:25):
In almost believable, we have finally gone and violated your
vows are love, honor, and obey.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
You have gone and talked to it all over our
marriage license.
Speaker 8 (17:37):
And worst of all, you have destroyed my career as
pether rot.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Watch, folks, find out what you've been doing. My life
is Doting's most beloved fast food. Messed will be over.
I'll be a laughing stock.
Speaker 8 (17:53):
And then who takes over Dinky Dave's the donut hole
and Dinky Donuts a hole? Lord?
Speaker 13 (18:01):
Who me.
Speaker 9 (18:04):
Here?
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Are you dood huh?
Speaker 8 (18:07):
Ricky?
Speaker 10 (18:08):
None of that happened. It's worse than that, much much worse.
Oh no, yeah, I told my sister and her husband
we'd have dinner with them.
Speaker 13 (18:26):
And how.
Speaker 8 (18:28):
We hope you've enjoyed John Bully and Billy Playhouse. I'd
rather a coat, thinky.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Dave, I'm doing your top two Cottons.
Speaker 8 (18:36):
Tune in next time when we'll hear Lucy's chain smoking
gaptooth You and the brow cherry pickers sister say hey, big.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Man, let me hold a dollar, And the oscar goes to.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Good Morning, and you got the big show on the radio.
More chance for you to win coming up? After your news,
weather and sports. Oh oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I didn't see you there.
Speaker 15 (19:00):
This is Professor Merwyn handed Day, head of hey ah oh,
head of Big Show Science and History Division. And you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 13 (19:16):
Yo.
Speaker 8 (19:17):
When I say there'll be history, I didn't mean to
apply a negative.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I simply meant that they they Oh what did I mean?
Speaker 4 (20:00):
Good morning?
Speaker 1 (20:00):
This is a big show on the radio, y'all always wonderful.
Pain give me a wave.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Sit on number one hundred and ten with the last
shortened work week last week with the fourth and all
the double triple Excel T shirt. I live in the
United statesys offend. Oh there, I am holding it. He
was that good looking at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
He's like, iin't happy to dose two. Check it out.
Gets your name of the hat and see if you
get a win.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
I did our Bill, Silver is Monday. Take it off
in minutes, A big show rolls on Good Morning, Big
shows on the radio. Hang right there, Bill, go and
throw it to you in a second. Let me tell
you about the prize pack you can win on John
Boy Jeopardy played in minutes. Waffle House, Yeah, a waffle
(20:51):
House bag of swag. Man got a cool hat? How
about this hat I'm wearing?
Speaker 8 (20:55):
You like it?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Oh yellow waffle House color?
Speaker 4 (20:58):
You got a cool T shirt as friends don't let
friends eat pancakes?
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Wabble House tote bag.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
So wable House had another thousand locations nationwide. These high
energy leaders to make it happen, get great paying full benefits,
and ply online at waffle House dot com slash careers.
Click on the banner at the Big Show dot com.
Hang on play for minutes right now, go bill.
Speaker 8 (21:24):
It's an election year, Oh joy, but it looks like
another geezer palooza come November. But one of the geezers
is far better suited for the job than the other one.
So let's make fun of the other one, shall we.
That's right, Slow Joe Biden still claiming be full of
vim and vigor when he's really full of something else.
I mean, let's face it, folks, he never was and
never will be suited to be the person pretending to
(21:46):
be the president while other people pull his strings. Oh baba,
excuse me, I had a Communist in my throat, But
that doesn't mean this doddering old sack of rancid oat
pulp couldn't be gainfully employed doing something else. We know
he's not going to be a brain donor, folks, but
other positions are available now from the home office in
elon Omar's husband.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Brother sock drawer.
Speaker 8 (22:07):
Here's the top ten jobs Joe Biden is better suited four.
Number ten a doorstop. Number nine Terry Henson's diction coach
A B A B A B A B A B.
Number eight a crash test dummy stunt.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Double.
Speaker 8 (22:28):
Number seven a cabbage whoa the texture and the color
are remarkably.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
The same as his skin.
Speaker 8 (22:35):
Number six a laboratory monkey, no offense to monkeys everywhere
listening to the show. Number five a magician. He sure
made the border and my four oh one kite disappear.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I'll tell you that right now.
Speaker 8 (22:51):
Number four Harvard University professor of plagiarism. He's copied so
many people who want to change his last name to Minola.
Number three village idiot John Boys off the hook. Number
two spokesman for the hair clip for men told patients.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
And the number one.
Speaker 8 (23:18):
Job Joe Biden has better suited for Donald Trump's food tester.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
Too soon, right it again, brand new and first by
coming up about little over thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Gotta be here for that.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Right now, let's play John BOYD Jeopardies, jump right in here.
Since the nineteen thirties, this classic candy has been surrounded
by a persistent but false urban legend. The legend claims
that if your candy wrapper shows a kid shooting at
a star with a bow and arrow, you could win
free candy or other prizes.
Speaker 7 (24:00):
Oh that was the popular What is Pearson's nut roll?
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Pierce's this Star?
Speaker 4 (24:11):
No No, No, no Star? So what of y'all got one?
Eight hundred Big Show? You told free loud across America.
We played joy Board Jeopardy next you laugh.
Speaker 7 (24:21):
They liked it.
Speaker 4 (24:48):
Good morning, there's a Big Show on the radio. Were
running through your Monday Julight of fifteenth. Today's feature track
from the Big Show, Big Bomb, just a ax like
there's plenty of big fishing a pool, sir forgee words
big fish, the big fish in the pool then, because
let's see if he's mixed up? Yeah, hit the big
box hat the Big Show dot com and right now,
(25:11):
let's play.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yeas live across America. It's jumboy, jempany and now your host.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Oh.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Once in a while he gets a bit nervous and excited,
but we calmed him down by giving him candy.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Lum sick calls, jump yung, eat him up.
Speaker 4 (25:30):
He's John boy there you let's say hed Ethan out
of Knoxville, Tennessee. Good morning, Ethan, Good morning, Hey buddy,
welcome man. How about that last hour was talking to
a boy from South Carolina the pool of Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Was Bud won the National Baseball Championship.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Congratulations if you are vall there, Ethan, I am go
balls all right, buddy. Well, let's see what you know
about classic candy. Since the nineteen thirties, this classic candy
has been surrounded by a persistent but false urban legend.
The legend claims, if your candy rapper shows a kid
shooting at a star with a bow and arrow, you
(26:13):
could win free candy or other prizes.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
What do you think it is, Ethan?
Speaker 4 (26:20):
Use a tutsi pops by the way, Taters. Yes, Pearson's
nut roll was a candy. She looked up with candy
in the thirties and really.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
Looking and crunchy roasted peanuts goes in caramel and cheating
the goal like nut Rose Uncle Jeorge.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
But a Tutsy pop so yeah, man, you'll check it out.
So anyway, Tutsy says, no, that's not that's not right.
And one in four of their rappers shows this kid
with an Indian headdress on shooting at a star.
Speaker 9 (26:59):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Had you ever heard of No? I never heard that.
I had when I was a kid.
Speaker 9 (27:04):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Did you hear that? Don't believe anything? Like stop writing us,
We're not giving away anything.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
Meanwhile, of Graham North Carolina, I was saving him mallow
cup deal coins so many points.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Yeah, yeah, they had paper coins in them, so I
saved up for probably about two or three years. I
got like about four mallow cups, so I said, wow,
I learned early more than I did, and I saved
as many.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Right now, they still include them in the mallow cups
if you buy them, but I don't know if they
actually do have.
Speaker 12 (27:38):
A redemption for that. Okay, well, and you can still
buy them. Well, good well, Ethan, And look at you, buddy,
You get the big old waffle House prize pack out
of all this candy. Question a on the body, I
(27:58):
can hook you up?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
WoT a mine hour? Top of your news.
Speaker 4 (28:08):
On the other side of our time, cats over this
Monday morning, Monday Morning Live coming up.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (29:04):
My read man, My ried man drives around in a minivan.
Speaker 7 (29:09):
Hi Powe has no single wife?
Speaker 9 (29:11):
Will let him do what a she says? It's about
timing grooves.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Well, there's a screw loves.
Speaker 7 (29:19):
You'll find the married man, last time married man, College Buddy,
drinking Buddy and drinking Buddies. Idiot Pal Smiley were preparing
for a free trip to Hollywood compliments of Power one
oh seven point two FM, when a quick guest shot
on the Monkey in the Morning Show took a rather
unexpected turn.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Hey Manica, get this married guy left dance? You got it,
monkey man.
Speaker 7 (29:45):
Which was quickly followed by another unexpected time could you
excuse me for just a second?
Speaker 13 (29:51):
Man?
Speaker 7 (29:52):
Hello, Hi, honey bunny, what's that you're listening to the show?
Speaker 9 (29:59):
Now?
Speaker 7 (29:59):
I heroes climbing to that waiting limousine to make that
way to the airport.
Speaker 4 (30:04):
So how'd honey bunny take the whole lap dance thing
about like you'd think? Well, she's got a whole week
to cool off while you're in Hollywood. Hey, where's drinking buddy?
Speaker 7 (30:12):
He's still talking to the paramedics. One of them said
his pal Smiley might have alcohol poisoned. So our trip
for fords down to a trip for three hunt looks
that way. Heyy guy, bad news. Smiley's going to the
hospital and he ain't gonna be able.
Speaker 13 (30:27):
To go with it.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
Really, Oh gee, what a shame. But the good news
is I found this a substitute.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
You did, hey, fellas who's ready to have some fun?
Speaker 7 (30:36):
What Monica Minks, the lap dancing stripper from the radio show.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Wow, Hey, then for nice work? How do you close
that deal?
Speaker 7 (30:44):
What can I say? Trip George, I got cards? I
ain't showing no, no, really, how'd you do it? I
told her we'd get her a part in the movie
Pretty slick?
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Huh uh?
Speaker 7 (30:53):
Monica, would you excuse us for just a second. Don't
leave me too long, honey, I might get lonely. This
might not be such a good idea. Well you mean,
now we got the perfect superteam. I'm a married guy,
college guy, drinking guy, and stripper girl. Hey, sway thing
you ready to be a movie sir? You know I
(31:14):
think the movie did isn't exactly a sure thing. The
radio station only promised to get us a screen test.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
I know that, but she don't.
Speaker 7 (31:23):
Besides, could you say no to a package like that?
I'm so shut up, College buddy. Excuse me just a second. Guys. Hello, Hi, honey, bunny.
What's that. Yeah, we're just getting ready to leave the
radio station. Well, it's me college buddy and drinking Buddy. No,
I don't think Smiley is going to be able to
make it after all. What's that Monica the stripper? Why
(31:46):
would you think she's going a lot? Oh? You just
heard Monkey in the Morning say it on the radio.
Gee hunh I hadn't heard that. But you know, we're
really just tagging along with drinking buddy. He's actually calling
the shots.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
So what.
Speaker 7 (32:00):
No, I don't think you're some kind of an idiot. Look, honey,
this is strictly a business trip. You don't have anything
to worry about. Listen, we need to get going. I'll
call you when we get to the airport. Yes, okay,
sweetie by it.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Must be tough being you.
Speaker 7 (32:17):
You have no idea. Okay, come on in, big girl.
We're headed for Hollywood, So do I get a fancy
superhero costume. Like you, guys, you look good in anything,
big girl and you look even better and nothing. Hey,
who needs a cocktail?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
I'll take one. There's a big surprise, Hey, driver, guy.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
Can you turn the radio on? I won't see if
they're still talking about.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
It minutes away from the hour.
Speaker 13 (32:41):
I am monkey in the morning, So the superhero team
is off the Hollywood compliments A power one O seven
point two.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Hey hit that married guy's wife never speaks to him again.
Speaker 13 (32:51):
You got that right, especially when they discover our little
surprise waiting for him in Hollywood Surprise. Yeah, you know
that screen thst we gave him as the prize package. Well,
I set it up with Seymour butt Steins. He's the
director of such American classic films this Jurassic Pork Doctor,
do me a Little and Crouching Tiger Humping Dragon.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
You got him an audition for a porno movie.
Speaker 13 (33:14):
Yeah, that'll make that left dance thing look like nothing
for a monkey.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
You're one sick little poppy. I can't help, oh, Seymour
bud Steene. Wow, he does really good stuff.
Speaker 13 (33:26):
I like you girl.
Speaker 7 (33:27):
Here, driver, would you turn the radio back off?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Please?
Speaker 7 (33:35):
Pully, Hi James, so much for getting back on track.
Will I hear allays make it to the airport in
time for the flight? Will married man's wife speak to
him when he gets back? Will Smiley's liver ever recover
for the answers? Tune in for our next sphincter tightening adventure,
Same married time, Same married channel.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
There's a you find the married man, Jun Boy and
Billy Good Morning Radio, done right.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Good morning make shows on the radio. May be watching
bait you know? All right, Old Joe, my God, use
a little help. So we bring in Bill Silvers.
Speaker 8 (34:46):
Hello, fellow taxpayers, your old friend Bill Silver's here.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Lucky you.
Speaker 8 (34:51):
Ah, It's an election year, another chance to get screwed over,
and before you know it, you'll be wasting a trip
to the polls, only to have eighty one million people
miraculously appear after two am on election day and slapped
that smile off your face. Joe Biden, whose theme song
should have been The Wanderer. Joe Biden, who could cater
(35:11):
one of his rallies with a bucket of chicken and
have leftovers.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Joe Biden couldn't be the sharpest guy in the room.
If you filed his head to a point. But I digress.
Speaker 8 (35:23):
Believe it or not, there are actually people out there
who will enthusiastically vote for Joe Biden after four years
of well, I don't have to tell you now. When
you ask them why, they'll mumble something about Orange Man
bad and wander off like their hero.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
But if you're looking for good, solid, concrete reasons to
cast your.
Speaker 8 (35:41):
Vote for a guy who walks around like he's got
two crab cakes in his shorts, you've come to the
right place. From the home office, next to the closet
that Chuck Schumer's been in for the last forty years,
comes the top ten reasons people are voting for Joe Biden.
Number ten, you suddenly realize there are enough fentanyl dealers
in your neighborhood. Number nine you think groceries have always
(36:07):
been too cheap. Number eight you enjoy giving your gas
money to foreigners. Number seven. Too many people in this
country are speaking English for your liking. Number six you're
terribly worried about the border in Ukraine.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Number five you're.
Speaker 8 (36:35):
Hoping to impress the hot looking liberal girls, both of them.
Number four you've always dreamed of being homeless. Number three
you don't think there should be an age limit on
sniffing children.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Number two, you also have a.
Speaker 8 (36:58):
Son with a laptop full of pictures of under hookers.
And the number one reason you're going to vote for
Joe Biden. You're a big fan of The Walking Dead.
Too soon, maybe not soon enough. Good morning to make
(37:18):
show us on the radio. Hang over your local news
weather sports.
Speaker 10 (37:23):
This is Royal.
Speaker 15 (37:24):
That is the King Veto, slayer of the Visigals, destroyer
of the Mongol.
Speaker 8 (37:31):
And aggravator of the Ottoman Empact.
Speaker 15 (37:35):
All listening to my two royal jests, those gap toothed
barbarians John Boy and Billy on you old big show.
Speaker 11 (37:44):
A rise a loyal of beef, A rise Duke of Ellington,
rise water of ten, essence of morp milk vectisia
Speaker 15 (38:01):
A con them m sand
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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