February 17, 2025 • 50 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, the whole crew is off for the President’s Day Holiday, so we are treating you to a classic Encore Edition from the Big Show’s massive archives.. - Enjoy!…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey all, rending here with a quick show note about
today's podcast. It's President's Day, so the guys were all off,
so we're going to get another encore edition of The
John Boy and Billy Big Show for today's podcast. Here's
one that originally aired on Monday, January thirteenth, twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Enjoy the show.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Good Morning, Big Shows on a radio. Get our first
prize package out for you to win up mount I'll
Live Bigle prize pack. We look at three dates in history.
It's where we'll get our categories.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Well, have we do it?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Let's set you up. It was on this day in
nineteen fifty seven the Wammo Company developed the first Frisbee.
Now I heard as far as developed there was like
pie pans. Well that's the story.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
That's the story. You always heard that there was a
college somewhere and it was the Frisbee Pie Company. It
was the Big Pieay, and they used to throw the
pans on the courtyard or whatever.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
So Wammo made their version of it out of plastic.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, and weren't part of.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
Good you know.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
In fact, if you ever play a game of catch,
the most likely thing that you're throwing between one another
is a frisbee more likely to be catching a frisbee
than baseball's basketball, Football's.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Come love in frisbee catching dogs. I tried once with Pearl.
When I first gout, she just looked at me, what
you go get it?
Speaker 6 (01:19):
I'm not gonna throw it. It's never going to catch it.
Speaker 7 (01:22):
Right.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
It was on this day in nineteen eighty one, eleven
year old Donna Griffiths of per Shore, England, caught a
cold and started sneezing. She sneezed about every thirty seconds
until September the sixteenth, nineteen eighty three. That's nine hundred
and seventy eight days later. Now I've had a bunch
(01:43):
of roe. I've never had one go that long. How
about that? That's the world sneezing record.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, I guess the worst time to sneeze when you're
driving and you're just starting to make the turn.
Speaker 8 (01:52):
You have that y.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Yeah, and then I'm about to die.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's like and people when they sneeze, they usually know
how many sneezees is coming. Like my wife is like
six or seven. With me, I can do two or three.
Maybe you got yalls down over and under me.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I'm two. Cookie That sits next door to me and
what used to be my nice office.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
She does five five, Yeah, comes on the five sez
it's crazy alright. And finally, this date in five, major
League Baseball adopted a tougher steroid testing program, suspended first
time offenders for ten days, and randomly tested players year round.
That was like twenty years ago. It was twenty years
(02:37):
when I and fifteen five is fifteen years ago.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Good, good man, Johnny's not using any kind of performance
in hand?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Can you tell one eight hundred big shows you told
free line? Come on, we'll play out birds next. Good
(03:18):
Monday morning, Big shows on the radio. Now video of
the day, brought you by friends from mount Olive Pickle
coming there, mount Olive Munchie supportable pickle and a pouch
latable grocery stores. Now the video guy's roommate steals the show.
Say what Randy's putting together for us here in our
(03:38):
first break and get a chance to lead.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
It's a guy doing a Facebook live stream at his
bathroom vanity while he's brushing his teeth and he dutch
down to spit. You see his roommate come looking for
the opportunity to steal his phone and his live stream.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Very funny. You gotta say it.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
All right, we'll check that out at the Big Show
dot com. And right now, let's get a week's worth
of winning.
Speaker 8 (04:03):
We're getting Outburst. Let's play Outburst. It's the game that
anyone can win, John Boys and Billy. We give the
prizes from the big prize being. Let's go he contested
number one.
Speaker 9 (04:19):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing Outburst. Have a hurry up and gust time. You'll
have the best time. You have a big shots.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Let's say, head a map from West Columbia, South Carolina.
Speaker 10 (04:38):
We have the shots.
Speaker 11 (04:41):
Matt.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
What's up, hey, man?
Speaker 9 (04:46):
You have this morning? Ready to go?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Buddy? Yeah, well we're looking to you here, buddy, hope
you got the men your head? What we're dealing with? What? Okay?
Happy Monday? All right, there we go, Matt. In five seconds,
we need three toys you play with outside?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Ready go?
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Oh, let's see a hula who by kit and my frisbee.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oh yeah, all right now. Three cold symptoms.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Ready go, sneezing, coughing, and sore throat bam, and for
the win.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Three professional sports that test for steroids.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Ready to go.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Baseball football and basketball.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
And by the way, just so you know, yeah, I
guess so is all you need to wear.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Football performance and then I guess basketball too.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I see this is where I misshands in my sports
got so you know that, Matt? What do you know
for like for sure? In this basketball I'm the NBA.
Speaker 12 (06:05):
I know test, I know the NFL test.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
All right, I'll just check it.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
And I hear they're gonna start doing it in baseball.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Shut up, man, Matt, you got the prize back. Head
down to West Columbia before you boughty.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Good work, alright, it was worth getting up this morning.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Bottom of the hour talking about on top of your
news put us about twenty minutes away in the playhouse
in South Louisiana. Who was getting ready bad? That's you
and Clemson tonight. That really wasn't gonna be funny shod
(07:15):
Monday morning to make show us on the radio. It
is January the thirteenth, having a birthday today, Happy birthday.
See who you're sharing one with? On the celebrity birthday list,
actor Liam Hemsworth is thirty word. Where would I know? Liam?
Speaker 5 (07:31):
Now?
Speaker 11 (07:31):
I'm like married to him, like and I didn't want
to like, I like, I needed to break up because
like I could't frure out what I like. Black boys
like girl like girls love like little like boys.
Speaker 13 (07:37):
The boys look like earl to come down, I have
break up that critical.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Oh Miley sauruses old boyfriend, I.
Speaker 13 (07:42):
Like was burned to him?
Speaker 6 (07:43):
My lord like marda like this mother. Maybe a year
I don't know.
Speaker 14 (07:45):
I was married.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Who am?
Speaker 11 (07:46):
Now they had to break up with them, had to
get advorce and now to paying a lot of money.
Speaker 6 (07:52):
My daddy, do pritical?
Speaker 3 (07:54):
What about actor Orlando Bloom He is forty three.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
I've heard her, or Lando Bloom.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
It's Terole.
Speaker 11 (08:01):
He was actually dating Katy Perry.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Is it really all right? Orlando? Actress Nicole Eggert is
forty eight. Oh, she's a former Baywatch babe?
Speaker 8 (08:13):
She is?
Speaker 11 (08:13):
She was on Charles in Charge?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Charles in Charge? Is that still own?
Speaker 8 (08:17):
No?
Speaker 11 (08:18):
She was one of the kids he was in charge of.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Oh, okay, that's how long ago it was? Wow, So
one of the kids grew up to be a Baywatch baby?
And what about the one is taking prison lessons? So
I gonna go, Yeah, what what show was she on?
Full House? That was Full House? Okay, the old yes,
all right. Actress Penelope Ann Miller is fifty six.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
She is one of those people you would recognize her
immediately if I showed you a picture of her, but
you could never look out it right.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Otherwise it usually works. Hey, oh buddy, Trace Atkins is
fifty eight years old today birdday, Trace, you listen. In Nashville,
we got actor Richard mall Is seventy seven, bull from
nine Core Yeah, yeah, yeah, seventy seven. And let me
see anyway, William B. Davis eighty two years old. It
(09:11):
was the cigarette smoking man on the X Files. He
smoked a lot of cigarettes. Yeah, that's how it comes
by the nickname. Oh, and Julia Louis Dreyfuss is having
a birthday to day. Let's see how she is fifty
nine years old, all right? And Bud from Father's Nose
Best is eighty two. Your kids get out of my arm?
(09:34):
How about that? And uh oh, well my favorite comedians
well kind of just growing up looking at him, Charles
Nelson Riley would have been eighty nine years old. Was
what was he real or is he just acting like
it now? When you say real?
Speaker 5 (09:50):
No? He was?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah? There is all right, well mainly happy birthday to you.
(10:21):
Good Monday morning, big shows on the radio. Starting the week,
I was in Breakfast theater in the playhouse. Aunt.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Cajun Dynamite.
As our story opens, Woodrow Boudreau is returning home after
a very late night at Tjoe's Sports Bar and Crawdad hut.
Speaker 11 (10:48):
Ye you, Lizabeth, you are hot stuff about dog on
time you come draggon in.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's almost three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
I know.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
We started out at Hooters and they had these old
awful chicken wings. We means, crawl Dad, you fixing to
be real? Glad you steal Awake, bab, I got something
here that's worth waiting up for. Uh you brought me
some tjo fried Crawdad cakes. No, this is way better.
(11:24):
I brung you a great big order of me.
Speaker 11 (11:28):
Oh Lord, here we go. Every time you come home drunk,
your nasty old ladies man post nall and tea stock
to come out.
Speaker 13 (11:37):
Donald.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
You don't know how lucky are you about to be.
I am feeling like a seventeen year old kid rat
now and I am ready to jiggly with it.
Speaker 11 (11:49):
How much did you drink. You know you a whole
lot more jiggly today than when you was at seventeen.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Girl, what you talking about? I'm the hottest sick to
your old occasion between here and Shreeport.
Speaker 6 (12:05):
You sure about that?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Well, let me took off my shirt and give you
a free ticket to the gun show.
Speaker 13 (12:12):
Kids.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Look at these on you know what? That is a
thousand pound occasion dynamite. And look at this your chest.
That that right there at is a thousand pound occasion dynamite. Two?
Oh it is, huh you about know it is? And
for the piece to resist on let me pour down
(12:34):
my underdrawers.
Speaker 13 (12:35):
Oh no, now you go.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
What do you think about that?
Speaker 11 (12:39):
I think I need to call nine one one and
tell them to send the bomb squad.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Oh yeah, how come.
Speaker 11 (12:46):
Cause if you got three thousand pounds a dynamite hooked
up to that little old bityfuse you fixing the blood
the whole house, delty.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Coming up in here like that talking about man.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Indeed, tune in again next time or hear the crusty
old t Joe's delivery guys.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah, you put your shirt back on. John.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Medical experts tell us that doing this actually helps relieve constipation.
It is.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
How about when you laugh?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
How about when you laugh? Of course, so please listen responsibly. Awesome,
(14:21):
Good Monday morning. That's a big show on the radio.
January the thirteenth. Look, it is the brand new John
Boy and Billy Big Show Late Risers podcast. All right.
Critics rave Tom's horns on the Charlotte Observer said it's
free and price just right there you go. So this
(14:46):
is the deal that I started telling you about, oh
boy last week when yeah, I can't keep a secret.
But yeah, so it's out now official announcement. There's the
John Won't Billy Big Show Late Risers podcast. So basically
it starts like an hour and a half after we
end up the show.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
You know, it gets posted around eleven thirty somewhere between
eleven thirty and noon, depending on traffic.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
See eleven thirty Eastern, ten thirty Central. There you go,
you're listening to the Big Show and.
Speaker 6 (15:14):
We send it to them in traffic.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Why do we do that? No, I mean Internet traffic.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
So the deal is, it's the whole show condensed without
the commercials or music.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, yep, got your busy lifestyle is Yeah, it's you know,
it's like the fast forward version of the Big Show.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
How about that? And so every day about a hour
and a half after we end ten a m. Eastern.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Yeah, the podcast averages around somewhere between an hour and
twenty all the.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Way up to an hour forty five.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
How about that? So, and it says available everywhere podcasts
are found.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yep, there's a list underneath that if you see Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Switcher, iHeart, yep,
Google podcast and yep. All right, well that's pretty good
if you're going to search for it, search for it
by the by the whole name the John Boy and
Billy Late Risers podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay, Big Show is in there as well.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
But if you get when you're doing the search engine,
because I've tested on all of them, if you just
type the John Boy two words and not the Emperor Sam,
but the word A and D Billy, it'll show up.
And that's enough for it to fill in. The blame
bad day.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
So you miss some of you gotta get mess some show,
catch up on a whole.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Deal yep, all right, on your schedule for a change.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
We'll jagged out and it's free and priced right, says
the media. Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up,
we'll play John Boy Jevity always go. Do we get
a winner? So that means somebody will win fifty dollars
to spend on an American Express gift card courtesy of
bow Jangles. It's bow time. As we know, Randy's out
(16:54):
of his cushy corner office back in the studio in
the trenches of the Big Show every day.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Yay.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
As we decided, let's look back at some of the
history of Randy at the Big Show. Oh, let's don't
always gonna be great. A little later, one of your
many voice the Doctor orl Rogers will be in the playhouse.
What are you talking about? First, start off with this
classic playhouse action.
Speaker 12 (17:27):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the
Butcher stops here. As our story opens, Citizen Randy is
trying to unwind at a local watering hole after work
when he's approached by a Big Show fan.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Hey, excuse me, are you Randy from the John Boy
and Billy Show.
Speaker 8 (17:49):
Jeez?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, yeah, it's me what you want? I don't do autographs?
Speaker 7 (17:53):
No, I don't mean to bother you or anything. I
just thought I recognize you. I'm the president of the
Star Trek Fan Club of the Southeast. I just wanted
to for you a couple of passes to our upcoming
show at the Holiday Inn.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Oh you gotta be kidding me.
Speaker 14 (18:05):
Waste a day of my life rubbing elbows with a
bunch of sci fi geeks that wear rubber ears and
still live at home with their parents. I don't think so, Pal,
I heard you were a big Trek fan.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Oh give me a break.
Speaker 14 (18:16):
Star Trek is almost as big a waste of time
as the Internet. I thought you were a big web
surf for two hardly. But hey, if you get any
good neudy pictures of Terry Hatcher.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Or maybe we can talk.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
Man, you're a lot different than I imagine. You don't
even wear those sissy looking clothes.
Speaker 14 (18:32):
Hey, Pal, it's called show business, it ain't a real life.
So what do you think of these leather pants? Really
show off the old fruit basket, don't you think Boy
John Boy Billy make you out to be a real
geek or something? Yeah, well, those morons wouldn't know how
to wipe their own nose if it weren't for me,
who do you think writes all that stuff them?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
All right, excuse me, Randy, May I hunch just one
momo of your time.
Speaker 14 (18:56):
Jeez, it's Bigfoot himself. Hey, Curly, I told you when
we're not on the air, it's Butch. Okay, now do
your mind I'm talking here.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Well sorry, Butch, but a fellow over there was just
trying to talk to me about sports.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
I wanted to ask you about this NASCAR compling that
we talked about on the show.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
I'm so confused. It's Winston Cup Racing. You talking, chimp.
Speaker 14 (19:18):
Hey, take a hike here, go give me a pack
of camel non filters.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Way up?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Butts okay, pal, well you almost finished.
Speaker 8 (19:25):
Gee.
Speaker 7 (19:26):
Yeah, my wife wanted me to tell you that she
thinks the thing you do with the rose every week
for your wife is really sweet, and she thinks you're
a really thoughtful.
Speaker 14 (19:34):
Give me a break. I got an annual contract to
the Flores. They come automatically, goes on the credit card
at the end of the month. It's I know, brainer. Besides,
it keeps her out of my hair. Hey, is that
your wife waving at you over there?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yeah? That's all right there.
Speaker 14 (19:49):
Hey she's pretty hot. Yeah, you mind if I take
her out in a parking lot and make out with
her for a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Now, you're going too far.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
I came over here to offer you a token to
my esteem for your work and E been a total jackass.
Speaker 14 (20:01):
Hey, you want to give me something, how about giving
me back to five minutes of my life you just wasted.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Take a hike, monkey boy. Hey, your wife chants are mine?
You let me know?
Speaker 14 (20:12):
Huh boy?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
I wish i'd known me in high school.
Speaker 14 (20:19):
Nurse, how about another vodka rocks over here and keep
on coming.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Hey, what time you get off work?
Speaker 12 (20:33):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Tune
in again next time. When will hear Butcher say.
Speaker 8 (20:47):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Fun for everybody but me? Idea?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yeah, y'all, Well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Well, there
is a very well review restaurant in Freedom Main that
only accepts reservations using this method of communication.
Speaker 6 (21:08):
Oh, I read about this a note delivered by carrier Lobster.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
So what do you think only takes reservations using this
method of communication? One eight hundred big show? You told
Freeline come on, we play John Boydeparday next, Good Morning.
(21:51):
It's a big Shaw on the radio for you Monday.
And our video today brought you by Mount Olive Munchies.
That is why you pickled Craven munchies, a portable piggle
in the bouts Babel in grocery stores right now, check
them out of the Mount Island Piggle coming it. We
got a guy's roommate stealing the show, so it's like
a live streaming guy brushing his teeth where they just
(22:13):
put anything on the internet like this crap. The show
really needed stealing, No kidding, man, Big old fat roommate,
tasty shirt off. That's when it starts to pick up. Well,
let's right there at the Big Show dot Com chent
yacking have it right now. Let's play Yes Live across
(22:36):
on Urgaians.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Oh wo now your host his Monday mood. I'm here
and I'm wearing pants. Besides that, no promises, he is
John on.
Speaker 12 (22:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Let's say hey to Jimmy out of a rab Alabama.
Good morning, Jimmy, Good morning, Hey man, we're good a body. Well, Jimmy,
see what you got. There's a very well reviewed restaurant
in Freedom Main that only accepts reservations using this method
of communication. What you think of, Jimmy card?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
How about postcard?
Speaker 3 (23:16):
You say a postcard? Is it a postcard?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You call Bill? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
That's right, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
No card. How about no card, no car, note card,
no card, postcard. He's looking more like for the method
of getting it too.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah. Yeah, like, so how would you say what he said?
The mail? You mail the postcard.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Let's see, which doesn't seem nearly as hard as we
made it sound.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Well, the is a US Postal service, Ye'll be right.
Reservation request, Yeah, so mail it in and then like
it is a very fine restaurant, they say, And if
yours is one of the randomly drawn letters from the pot,
so you mail it in. They put it in a
pot and then if they pull it out, they'll contact
you and you can eat there.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
And now, so don't call us, We'll call you. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
See exactly. And they've been sold out for years. That's great,
they've just started taking reservations for twenty twenty.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
You know, the best way to get people to want something,
tell them.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
They can that's exactly right.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Hey, why boy, Jimmy down, I ain't red figured that out.
Speaker 13 (24:33):
Good work.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Jimy will give you fifty bucks to spend on a
marriage Express gift card Curtis and Bowl Jangles.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Awesome. Hey, a couple of things. My last call I
was the first.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
It was my first call.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I didn't get a move, all right.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I give a shout out, shout out my friends and
family and the Marshall County Rocket Sea Rangers here in
North Alabama.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Well, I'll write jim in here's you move. Doesn't it
mean more now that you waited for it? Jimmy, it
really does. Light would jump out, catch you up on
your news. Right on the other side, our time capsule
for this January thirteen ain't on for life. This is
(25:43):
the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show, the
South's number one export. And that's time for Oliver.
Speaker 8 (26:04):
Well.
Speaker 15 (26:05):
Well, well, so I guess that New Year's resolution to
lose weight has gone by the wayside. Diets are tough.
You either don't get enough to eat, you don't get
enough variety, or you go broke on some TV weight
loss scheme that doesn't really work. Remember Larry the cable
(26:25):
guy bragging he lost so much weight now he looks
like Larry that can't push himself away from the table.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Guy whoa well.
Speaker 15 (26:34):
The other day, over a big filling glass of toilet
water and a carrot stick, I noticed that two year
old's always seemed to look so trim, except for the
little Asian ones who plump up nicely. But since you
don't see many toddlers pumping iron at the why it
must be their diet. So I did a little research,
(26:59):
and after some close observation, I've discovered the four day
miracle toddler diet.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Let me preach on it.
Speaker 15 (27:09):
Day one breakfast two bites of a scrambled egg, dump
the rest on the floor. One bite of heavily buttered toast.
Use what's left to comb your hair. Lunch, four crayons
any color and three stale friedos from under the couch cushion.
(27:30):
Glass of milk only three SIPs, then pour the rest
in dad sock. Draw dinner a stick from the yard,
two pennies and a nickel, four SIPs of water out
of the bird bath. Day two Breakfast one pop tart
(27:51):
any flavor, eat the crust and put the rest in
mom's favorite book. Drink half bottle of vanilla extra lunch,
Finish the food in the cat's dish. One half tube
of older sister's hot pink lipstick and a dust bunny.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Dessert.
Speaker 15 (28:13):
One ice cube if desired. Midday stack Tourtsi roll pop
rolled in dirt, Let clean, repeat, then bring in the
house and stick to the back of the couch for later.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Dinner.
Speaker 15 (28:30):
Three uncooked beans swallow two, put the third in your nose.
Mashed potatoes mixed with a healthy splash of grape kool aid,
eat with straw. Day three breakfast. Two pancakes with way
too much syrup. Eat one with fingers. Use leftover syrup
(28:53):
on hand to tame that cow. Lick hole stick other
pancake in half glass of meat milk, Take sucker off
back of couch, lick off the fuzz and use to
stir pancake and milk to make smoothie. Lunch peanut butter
and dog food sandwich. Handful of free range caterpillars with
(29:18):
aerosol cheese for toffee. If still hungry, have three matches
swig of Mom's gane ne te for a palette clemser dinner,
microwave mac and cheese topped with arts and crafts paste.
(29:39):
Half roll of toilet paper, gum from under the coffee
table for dessert. Final day breakfast, quarter tube of toothpaste,
a bite of soap, suggest Lifeboy, and an olive from
the old man's wet bar. A bowl of cereal with
equal parts cornflakes and sugar. Drink milk, feed cereal to dog, lunch,
(30:05):
eat light, hunt and peck the crumbs off the kitchen
floor and dining room carpet. If you have trouble using
your fingers, get that sucker off the back of the couch.
Dinner splurge. Go to the Chinese buffet with your parents.
Wander around the dining room, grazing off dropped dumplings and
(30:26):
mystery meat on floor. Wander in the kitchen, help yourself
to some chicken sushi, so nightcap, stick of mascara out
of mom's purse, then repeat as needed. You're guaranteed to
lose weight, either by throwing up or having your stomach pumped.
After all, the only thing that matters is results. You're welcome,
(30:57):
chum Boy and Billy.
Speaker 12 (31:00):
By the power is vested in me by the Federal
Communications Commission.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I command you to get on the microphone in a
serious manner and continue this broadcast.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Good Morning Radio done right, Good morning, This big show
(31:40):
on the radio, rolling to you Monday, January the thirteenth.
We're celebrating Randy back in a big show studio with
a sleeves don't yes big your requests for this all
the time? Randy versus the Chipmunk, I was attacked in
my home, the highlights of Randy's life. There's more than
(32:04):
hey go ness uh coming up in about twenty minutes
from right now. Okay, that's what, Thanks you funny, There
you go. Hell, there's a pink cuddleoc in the parking lots.
So if mayor pet didn't making a campaign stopped, there's
only one other person that could be Hello, Oh my god.
Speaker 11 (32:23):
What's stinks in here?
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Hey?
Speaker 11 (32:25):
You hate seeds?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
You know me.
Speaker 11 (32:27):
I'm funny, the expert on funny.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Right.
Speaker 11 (32:29):
Oh well, the New Year already stinks.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
I tell you why.
Speaker 11 (32:34):
I think my ATM is giving out counterfeit bills. The
clerk at the store gave me a funny look when
I asked, can you break a twenty three? It stinks
I'm getting audited by the irs. Apparently you can't claim
a chihuahua is a dependent it Why, I don't know
you just can't.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
I try.
Speaker 13 (32:55):
Steaks.
Speaker 11 (32:57):
I was shopping for my granddaughter's baby shower the other day.
I went to a store and asked the clerk if
he had baby nipples. He says, no, mine are full grown. Okay,
it stays, and it's not much better at home as
it is out here. Last night, my husband reached for
his liquid viagra and Excellent accidentally grabbed a bottle of
liquid paper. So this morning we woke up with a
(33:19):
huge correction. You're distracting me. It steaks, It steaks. I
went out to the garage last week and he was
organizing all his golf equipment. I said, you know, we
don't spend enough time together. Maybe it's time you quit golfing.
You spend way too much time on the course. You know,
you could probably get a good price for your clubs.
(33:40):
He looked at me with this horrified look on his face.
I said, what's wrong? He says, for a minute, there
you were sounding just like my ex wife. I said,
ex wife, I didn't know you were married before. He
said I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
It stays, says, it's only.
Speaker 11 (33:57):
Something with that guy. Once, out of the blue, he
invited one of his young he's at the golf course
home for dinner. I dragged him into the other room
and I said, I haven't fixed my hair, I haven't
done my makeup. I haven't even done any housework, much
less cook. And he did it for you. What the
hell did you invite him over for? He said, because
he's thinking about getting married. He said it because he
(34:17):
thinks he's getting Okay, forget about it. I guess I
shouldn't complain'ny ha ha, you you're fuddy goober. Oh, I
shouldn't complain. We've only had one fight in forty five years,
and it lasted forty five years. Okay, it stays out there.
Relationship he ain't easy.
Speaker 6 (34:36):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 11 (34:37):
Take a seat, honey, I'm going to be a minute,
all right.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Right.
Speaker 11 (34:40):
A guy and his wife are having trouble at home.
There's a big fight, and they wind up giving each
other the silent treatment. The guy realizes that the next
day he would need his wife to wake him up
at five am for an early morning flight. Not wanting
to be, you know, the first to break the silence,
he writes on a piece of paper, important wake me
at five am, And he left it where he knew
he'd find it. The next morning. He wakes up and
(35:02):
it's nine am. When he wakes up the next morning,
he missed his flight. So he's furious. It was about
to go see why his wife didn't wake him up
when he noticed a piece of paper on his bed
and it said it's five am. Wake up there, it is,
Saint damn.
Speaker 13 (35:17):
Be careful.
Speaker 11 (35:18):
My work here is done off the ugoba's around the bed,
you know. And if they ask you, it's funny.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
You say, Bunny's husband, it's so longing, Lisa. Now say
that again. Harold, hey, brother in law, and he wanted
you to do something for I'm all right, So here
it goes, and this is what you choose.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Okay, So it's his fault, you know.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Okay, Okay, I want Jacket and Tyler.
Speaker 14 (35:52):
Hey, hey, Jacket.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Well it could have been a lot worse. Good morning.
(36:37):
That's a big show on the radio for you, Monday,
January or thirteenth. Well, brand new work week here this morning.
And uh, you know, I had some kind of innerson.
I heard you talking about speaking up the work week
and paychecks and stuff.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Well, when I started putting together a podcast for us,
I started listening to a lot of podcasts, and there
was one it's called Planet Money, and they were questioning
why Americans still have to wait for their paycheck. You know,
if you work a day's labor, why can't you just
have access to your money. So usually it's either like
a week or two weeks or two weeks or some
(37:12):
people don't get paid once a month. Yeah, okay, And
anybody in the who's ever drew a breath of air
has at least at some point in their life said,
I don't get paid till Friday. I might have to
hold off on and bills get late, you overdraw your
checking account, and that's a thirty five dollars charge at
most banks, you know, And it doesn't make sense if.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
You overdraw by two dollars, you get a thirty five
dollars fine.
Speaker 6 (37:37):
If I don't have two dollars, sure don't have seven dollars.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
No, Yeah, that's exactly so.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
And in fact, the banks make in two thousand and seven,
they made thirty four billion dollars.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
On overdraft charges.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Ooh, and you know, not to mention how much the
payday loan companies are cracking up on this.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
But you know, people.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Overdraw because paydays you know, in the future, but the
power company doesn't care you don't get paid on Friday.
They want their money on the due day. So it
makes you wonder why do we I mean, money is
transferred mostly by electronic means. Now, why can't you just
have access to your money when you need it? You know,
(38:16):
we would call that a payday loan from the employer sometimes,
you know, or a paycheck advance or whatever. It's your money.
It's already your money, so why can't you have access
to it? And for folks who work minimum wage jobs
are like in fast food and stuff, it's even more
of a problem. So there there's a company that's actually
starting to get in between your employer and you with
(38:41):
your money. So you know, when your payday actually comes along,
it kind of filters through this other company to before
it hits your paycheck. So that way, you have an
app on your phone, You load the app up, you
transfer how much money you have available, and the app
keeps up with what it's available, and you use that
money then and then when your actual paycheck comes out,
(39:04):
it deducts what is in between.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
So this company do they have to know exactly how
much you get paid or do they just again just
take your word for it.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
It's a good question. And no, yeah, it's a it's
a system that's set up by the employer. Okay, so
your employer has to set this up. Yeah, your employer
sets up and it doesn't cost the employers anything. One
of the companies is called the name of it here,
I'll get back to you. But the company gets in
between the paycheck and you is free to the employer.
(39:37):
They don't pay anything for the service. You have to
pay two dollars and ninety nine cent if you want
the money right now, and I mean it transfers instantly.
I mean right now. It's in your checking account. So
in these other places you got to go in person
to get a loan. Yeah, you're getting a loan, but
you have to repats a lot. Yeah, this is your money.
And so if you if you want it right now today,
(39:57):
it's two dollars and ninety nine cent. If you want
it to tomorrow, it's only a dollar ninety nine that's
less than you know, an ATM charge for most folks.
You know, so, and it would help bridge the gaps.
And the company that's doing this has said that you know,
people are. You know, it's not like they're going in
and taking thirty dollars or forty dollars even numbers. They're
taking very odd numbers like one twenty one sixteen, which
(40:20):
is obviously somebody's bill for something. So they're taking they're
only using it when they need to and their conservatives
so that they still get a paycheck coming in so
they can budget it. Yeah, so this one company, uh,
there are several startups doing this, but this one in
particular is called daily Pay.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
That's the name of the app.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
So if you, you know, want to approach your employer,
they they show statistically that it helps keep people on
the job, you know, because they don't look for other
jobs because this is a perk that's available to them
to help bridge the gap.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So great service, great idea, right, and maybe some.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Employers listen, would like to get that help.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Absolute like that because it doesn't cost you anything, right,
doesn't cost the employer a thing, and the service charges
on the user on.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
Two none none, All right, can you load me three bucks?
Speaker 14 (41:05):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
I'm in shut up. Good morning, Big shows on the
radio coming up. The easiest way for you to win
that would be the Current Events quiz we got a
Happy Herd prize bag for you. All right, highlights for Randy?
Is what's happening this Monday morning? Or we could do
something else. Are you give us an advance on our paycheck?
(41:29):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 13 (41:30):
I'll do that.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Let's have fun this classic Randy versus the Chipmunk roll
that Randy. You had a little run in with the
animal yesterday, didn't you.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
I was attacked in my home. I required medical attention.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Bye Stupy the chihuahua.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Oh no, I had enough. I was sitting down in
the basement.
Speaker 6 (41:49):
Reading, you're killing me, come on with here, and Miranda.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Came down to tell me that dinner was ready.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
My daughter, huh.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
So we came out of the out of one room,
going into another, and this little chipmunk darted across the floor,
and Miranda went, and what did you do?
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I went.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
More, screaming like a girl, probably me, because you know,
a critter in your house is a frightening thing.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
So she screams. I screamed, and then we.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Looked at your ice cream.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
And I said, it's a it's a mouse. No, it's
it's a squirrel. I couldn't tell it was a chipmunk
and ran in and went right straight to the corner
and balled up like, you can't see me if I
don't look at you.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
How did this? How's you sound?
Speaker 5 (42:32):
You?
Speaker 13 (42:32):
Get out? Get out? I don't care. I'm going. I'm going.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
So we tried the coats him away, and all you
do is cower in the corner. So I sent.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Now, don't you wish you'd played ball? There's a boy,
been good bat in practice.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
So now my wife comes downstairs, and we sent her
up to get some gardening gloves so that I could
try to pick him up and put him out.
Speaker 6 (42:59):
The gardening gloves upstairs.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Well, in the garage, I was down in the basement.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Oh yea.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
So she goes and gets some brings down and put
them on, and he just sits there. So I reach
over and pick him up, and I think, well, this
is not so bad, and I'm walking towards the door,
and he decides all of a sudden, I don't like this,
and so he nuts inside my hand, nuts inside my
hands and ended up wriggling between my fingers and bit
through the glove and made this little teeny little bite
(43:25):
let me say it, on my on my right finger
on my left hand, right there, right right.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
That's a chipmunk bike.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
It's a little teeny little bike, you know. So I figured,
no big deal. I finally get up.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Now my wife trying to get the key to unlock
the door was somewhat comical because at this point he
this little chipmunks decided I ain't letting go to thunder strikes.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
You know, the door is locked, you can't get out.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
But the chipmunk got in.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
I don't know how it happened, but I've.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Got him in there, and now he's got a bite
on me. And you know how dogs when they get
ahold of like a ragg and they shake their heads.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
That's what he was doing. So she finally gets in.
I'm going.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
So she finally gets the door open and I put
him outside and he bounces away and he stopped and
gave me the little chipmunk finger and later, so all right,
so I have dinner and it's all over. I'm thinking,
no big deal, you know. So I go off to
run an errand away from the house. While I'm gone,
my bride decides to call animal control just out of
curiosity to see if there's anything.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
To wanh about.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
Ten rampart. We're almost there, and.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
They recommended that I call our family doctor. So doctor
Walthall goes meets me at his office to give me
a TETNAS shot and by the time I get home, now.
Speaker 10 (44:38):
Well, first he said, come on, this is a business fault.
So thanks to doctor Walfall, she got a TETNA shot.
So yeah, and I get back home and guess what's
sitting in the driveway. Animal control. They're there to file
a report.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I was going to his friends.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
That's him.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
So I met with Officer Posey of the Charlotte Mecklenburg
Police Department Animal Control, who fills out a report and
then gleefully informs me that I'll likely have to undergo
Raby's treatment.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
I got that have oh man?
Speaker 1 (45:13):
And I said no, I won't and she said, yeah
you can. I said, well, they can't make me. She went,
yeah they can't. I said, well, first of all, doctor
Walthall says that it's a rodent and rodents don't carry rabies,
and she went, well, really, it's.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Up to our office.
Speaker 13 (45:26):
Wait, you did.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
This girl?
Speaker 1 (45:29):
She weighs about ninety pounds, She could barely see over
the steering whell. In fact, one of my neighbors come
out and go, hey, how do you see ever the
steering wheel and that thing a little, tiny little girl.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
But sweet, that's a good idea, you know, make fun
of the animal control. Yeah, has a truck full of badgers.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Now, she doesn't get to make that decision. I don't
know who does. The health department does, so we should
watch you. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
I went immediately to the Internet to try to figure
it out. And from what I understand, you have to
have treatment within a couple of days. And if you
don't have the treatment, then there's in the incubation.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Period and your wife is still living in your house.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
That's hard to believe. But yes, guess who else got involved?
Because at the point I was going, I'm not gonna
screw with this. I'm coming home, no big deal. She
calls reinforcements.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Guess who who? Jackie. Now Jackie's all over me to
go get this shot.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
So I figure if I ever want to have a
home cooked meal or sleep with a woman again.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Sorry Jackie.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
You know there's a full moon coming up. Yeah, if
you strut growing hair all over your body, you'll know
there's something wrong.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
And he starts following at the turn into this big
giant ware chip mine chip mynk mine.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
I wait till now, because I know my wife's inside
the school with my daughter. Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna get me some Alca selts or tablets. I
always wake up before her on the weekends on Saturday.
I'm gonna put a couple of them, pop them in there,
and I'm just gonna reach over and go and I'm
gonna grab her and then she looks over. There's gonna
be a foam coming on my mouth, and then I'm
gonna go, oh.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
Micro kitchen, not tonight. I've got a head ache.
Speaker 13 (47:07):
That guts you.
Speaker 3 (47:08):
Drinking out the toilet and look around like you get caught.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Well, the downside of that is I'd have to drink
out of the toilet. Sounds like a good plan up
to that point, though, but supposedive. I mean, they have
a good job, though a hard.
Speaker 5 (47:20):
Job to do.
Speaker 7 (47:20):
And lord, can you see Randy coming in here like
that giant chipmunk and nutty professor too.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Mail.
Speaker 15 (47:29):
I'm crawling through the heads row in front of my house,
catching copper heads with my bare hand, and you get
bit by.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
A ship, and the lesson learned here. If you ever
get bitten by anything, don't set it free.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Keep it. You got to keep it back.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
It's yours. And if it doesn't it never that. That's
a poster down stair.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Keep it.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Call animal control and whatever city you live live and
let them. They'll test the animal to see if it
has rabies in.
Speaker 3 (47:58):
These gardening gloves. That doesn't work. Oh but I ruined
your life, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I can promise you if I have to go through
Raby stream and my wife.
Speaker 3 (48:08):
Is dead, oh man, you know what they did. Well,
I'm glad the little chipmunk didn't have to die because
it turns out what a talented chip monkey is. And
love sling Blade one of our favorite movies.
Speaker 13 (48:19):
I studied on Biting you study on quite a bit.
So what you got good to eat in there?
Speaker 2 (48:28):
Well, sir, we've we've we've got nuts and berries, twigs.
Did you want me to go through the whole menu?
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Well, the.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
The twigs are pretty good French road twigs, yes, sir. Well,
the the small order is fifty five and the large
order is a dollar.
Speaker 13 (48:51):
We can I have me. Some of the beatoms came along.
I play car J shall not I stand only here
but nine four three and then that that kind of
(49:13):
off center like in Portry.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
You know, I think we need to practice.
Speaker 13 (49:19):
We need to We don't need to practice. Rangy y'all
just a bunch of loser. I'm don't to say something
here mediciner, amulets and a hurst. Ain't you doing something?
Speaker 8 (49:38):
Meant?
Speaker 5 (49:39):
No?
Speaker 13 (49:40):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
I love you, mama, thank you?
Speaker 3 (49:46):
You crazed to chipmunk.
Speaker 13 (49:50):
I don't shut up. I'm gonna go out of my marc.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah you laugh.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Try living it boys, all right there you Oh, let's
play the current events quiz Bidley, what are we dealing with?
Speaker 4 (50:03):
Florida Man takes? If you love it so much, why
don't you marry it to a whole new line.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
One eight hundred, Big show. You told free line you
take c you will win. We played next
Hey all, rending here with a quick show note about
today's podcast. It's President's Day, so the guys were all off,
so we're going to get another encore edition of The
John Boy and Billy Big Show for today's podcast. Here's
one that originally aired on Monday, January thirteenth, twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Enjoy the show.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Good Morning, Big Shows on a radio. Get our first
prize package out for you to win up mount I'll
Live Bigle prize pack. We look at three dates in history.
It's where we'll get our categories.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Well, have we do it?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Let's set you up. It was on this day in
nineteen fifty seven the Wammo Company developed the first Frisbee.
Now I heard as far as developed there was like
pie pans. Well that's the story.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
That's the story. You always heard that there was a
college somewhere and it was the Frisbee Pie Company. It
was the Big Pieay, and they used to throw the
pans on the courtyard or whatever.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
So Wammo made their version of it out of plastic.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, and weren't part of.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
Good you know.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
In fact, if you ever play a game of catch,
the most likely thing that you're throwing between one another
is a frisbee more likely to be catching a frisbee
than baseball's basketball, Football's.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Come love in frisbee catching dogs. I tried once with Pearl.
When I first gout, she just looked at me, what
you go get it?
Speaker 6 (01:19):
I'm not gonna throw it. It's never going to catch it.
Speaker 7 (01:22):
Right.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
It was on this day in nineteen eighty one, eleven
year old Donna Griffiths of per Shore, England, caught a
cold and started sneezing. She sneezed about every thirty seconds
until September the sixteenth, nineteen eighty three. That's nine hundred
and seventy eight days later. Now I've had a bunch
(01:43):
of roe. I've never had one go that long. How
about that? That's the world sneezing record.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, I guess the worst time to sneeze when you're
driving and you're just starting to make the turn.
Speaker 8 (01:52):
You have that y.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Yeah, and then I'm about to die.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
It's like and people when they sneeze, they usually know
how many sneezees is coming. Like my wife is like
six or seven. With me, I can do two or three.
Maybe you got yalls down over and under me.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I'm two. Cookie That sits next door to me and
what used to be my nice office.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
She does five five, Yeah, comes on the five sez
it's crazy alright. And finally, this date in five, major
League Baseball adopted a tougher steroid testing program, suspended first
time offenders for ten days, and randomly tested players year round.
That was like twenty years ago. It was twenty years
(02:37):
when I and fifteen five is fifteen years ago.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Good, good man, Johnny's not using any kind of performance
in hand?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Can you tell one eight hundred big shows you told
free line? Come on, we'll play out birds next. Good
(03:18):
Monday morning, Big shows on the radio. Now video of
the day, brought you by friends from mount Olive Pickle
coming there, mount Olive Munchie supportable pickle and a pouch
latable grocery stores. Now the video guy's roommate steals the show.
Say what Randy's putting together for us here in our
(03:38):
first break and get a chance to lead.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
It's a guy doing a Facebook live stream at his
bathroom vanity while he's brushing his teeth and he dutch
down to spit. You see his roommate come looking for
the opportunity to steal his phone and his live stream.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Very funny. You gotta say it.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
All right, we'll check that out at the Big Show
dot com. And right now, let's get a week's worth
of winning.
Speaker 8 (04:03):
We're getting Outburst. Let's play Outburst. It's the game that
anyone can win, John Boys and Billy. We give the
prizes from the big prize being. Let's go he contested
number one.
Speaker 9 (04:19):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing Outburst. Have a hurry up and gust time. You'll
have the best time. You have a big shots.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Let's say, head a map from West Columbia, South Carolina.
Speaker 10 (04:38):
We have the shots.
Speaker 11 (04:41):
Matt.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
What's up, hey, man?
Speaker 9 (04:46):
You have this morning? Ready to go?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Buddy? Yeah, well we're looking to you here, buddy, hope
you got the men your head? What we're dealing with? What? Okay?
Happy Monday? All right, there we go, Matt. In five seconds,
we need three toys you play with outside?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Ready go?
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Oh, let's see a hula who by kit and my frisbee.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oh yeah, all right now. Three cold symptoms.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Ready go, sneezing, coughing, and sore throat bam, and for
the win.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Three professional sports that test for steroids.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Ready to go.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Baseball football and basketball.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
And by the way, just so you know, yeah, I
guess so is all you need to wear.
Speaker 3 (05:50):
Football performance and then I guess basketball too.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I see this is where I misshands in my sports
got so you know that, Matt? What do you know
for like for sure? In this basketball I'm the NBA.
Speaker 12 (06:05):
I know test, I know the NFL test.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
All right, I'll just check it.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
And I hear they're gonna start doing it in baseball.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Shut up, man, Matt, you got the prize back. Head
down to West Columbia before you boughty.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Good work, alright, it was worth getting up this morning.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Bottom of the hour talking about on top of your
news put us about twenty minutes away in the playhouse
in South Louisiana. Who was getting ready bad? That's you
and Clemson tonight. That really wasn't gonna be funny shod
(07:15):
Monday morning to make show us on the radio. It
is January the thirteenth, having a birthday today, Happy birthday.
See who you're sharing one with? On the celebrity birthday list,
actor Liam Hemsworth is thirty word. Where would I know? Liam?
Speaker 5 (07:31):
Now?
Speaker 11 (07:31):
I'm like married to him, like and I didn't want
to like, I like, I needed to break up because
like I could't frure out what I like. Black boys
like girl like girls love like little like boys.
Speaker 13 (07:37):
The boys look like earl to come down, I have
break up that critical.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Oh Miley sauruses old boyfriend, I.
Speaker 13 (07:42):
Like was burned to him?
Speaker 6 (07:43):
My lord like marda like this mother. Maybe a year
I don't know.
Speaker 14 (07:45):
I was married.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Who am?
Speaker 11 (07:46):
Now they had to break up with them, had to
get advorce and now to paying a lot of money.
Speaker 6 (07:52):
My daddy, do pritical?
Speaker 3 (07:54):
What about actor Orlando Bloom He is forty three.
Speaker 6 (07:57):
I've heard her, or Lando Bloom.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
It's Terole.
Speaker 11 (08:01):
He was actually dating Katy Perry.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Is it really all right? Orlando? Actress Nicole Eggert is
forty eight. Oh, she's a former Baywatch babe?
Speaker 8 (08:13):
She is?
Speaker 11 (08:13):
She was on Charles in Charge?
Speaker 3 (08:16):
Charles in Charge? Is that still own?
Speaker 8 (08:17):
No?
Speaker 11 (08:18):
She was one of the kids he was in charge of.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Oh, okay, that's how long ago it was? Wow, So
one of the kids grew up to be a Baywatch baby?
And what about the one is taking prison lessons? So
I gonna go, Yeah, what what show was she on?
Full House? That was Full House? Okay, the old yes,
all right. Actress Penelope Ann Miller is fifty six.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
She is one of those people you would recognize her
immediately if I showed you a picture of her, but
you could never look out it right.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Otherwise it usually works. Hey, oh buddy, Trace Atkins is
fifty eight years old today birdday, Trace, you listen. In Nashville,
we got actor Richard mall Is seventy seven, bull from
nine Core Yeah, yeah, yeah, seventy seven. And let me
see anyway, William B. Davis eighty two years old. It
(09:11):
was the cigarette smoking man on the X Files. He
smoked a lot of cigarettes. Yeah, that's how it comes
by the nickname. Oh, and Julia Louis Dreyfuss is having
a birthday to day. Let's see how she is fifty
nine years old, all right? And Bud from Father's Nose
Best is eighty two. Your kids get out of my arm?
(09:34):
How about that? And uh oh, well my favorite comedians
well kind of just growing up looking at him, Charles
Nelson Riley would have been eighty nine years old. Was
what was he real or is he just acting like
it now? When you say real?
Speaker 5 (09:50):
No? He was?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Yeah? There is all right, well mainly happy birthday to you.
(10:21):
Good Monday morning, big shows on the radio. Starting the week,
I was in Breakfast theater in the playhouse. Aunt.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Cajun Dynamite.
As our story opens, Woodrow Boudreau is returning home after
a very late night at Tjoe's Sports Bar and Crawdad hut.
Speaker 11 (10:48):
Ye you, Lizabeth, you are hot stuff about dog on
time you come draggon in.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's almost three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
I know.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
We started out at Hooters and they had these old
awful chicken wings. We means, crawl Dad, you fixing to
be real? Glad you steal Awake, bab, I got something
here that's worth waiting up for. Uh you brought me
some tjo fried Crawdad cakes. No, this is way better.
(11:24):
I brung you a great big order of me.
Speaker 11 (11:28):
Oh Lord, here we go. Every time you come home drunk,
your nasty old ladies man post nall and tea stock
to come out.
Speaker 13 (11:37):
Donald.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
You don't know how lucky are you about to be.
I am feeling like a seventeen year old kid rat
now and I am ready to jiggly with it.
Speaker 11 (11:49):
How much did you drink. You know you a whole
lot more jiggly today than when you was at seventeen.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Girl, what you talking about? I'm the hottest sick to
your old occasion between here and Shreeport.
Speaker 6 (12:05):
You sure about that?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Well, let me took off my shirt and give you
a free ticket to the gun show.
Speaker 13 (12:12):
Kids.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Look at these on you know what? That is a
thousand pound occasion dynamite. And look at this your chest.
That that right there at is a thousand pound occasion dynamite. Two?
Oh it is, huh you about know it is? And
for the piece to resist on let me pour down
(12:34):
my underdrawers.
Speaker 13 (12:35):
Oh no, now you go.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
What do you think about that?
Speaker 11 (12:39):
I think I need to call nine one one and
tell them to send the bomb squad.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Oh yeah, how come.
Speaker 11 (12:46):
Cause if you got three thousand pounds a dynamite hooked
up to that little old bityfuse you fixing the blood
the whole house, delty.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Coming up in here like that talking about man.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Indeed, tune in again next time or hear the crusty
old t Joe's delivery guys.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Yeah, you put your shirt back on. John.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Medical experts tell us that doing this actually helps relieve constipation.
It is.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
How about when you laugh?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
How about when you laugh? Of course, so please listen responsibly. Awesome,
(14:21):
Good Monday morning. That's a big show on the radio.
January the thirteenth. Look, it is the brand new John
Boy and Billy Big Show Late Risers podcast. All right.
Critics rave Tom's horns on the Charlotte Observer said it's
free and price just right there you go. So this
(14:46):
is the deal that I started telling you about, oh
boy last week when yeah, I can't keep a secret.
But yeah, so it's out now official announcement. There's the
John Won't Billy Big Show Late Risers podcast. So basically
it starts like an hour and a half after we
end up the show.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
You know, it gets posted around eleven thirty somewhere between
eleven thirty and noon, depending on traffic.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
See eleven thirty Eastern, ten thirty Central. There you go,
you're listening to the Big Show and.
Speaker 6 (15:14):
We send it to them in traffic.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Why do we do that? No, I mean Internet traffic.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
So the deal is, it's the whole show condensed without
the commercials or music.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, yep, got your busy lifestyle is Yeah, it's you know,
it's like the fast forward version of the Big Show.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
How about that? And so every day about a hour
and a half after we end ten a m. Eastern.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Yeah, the podcast averages around somewhere between an hour and
twenty all the.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Way up to an hour forty five.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
How about that? So, and it says available everywhere podcasts
are found.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Yep, there's a list underneath that if you see Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Switcher, iHeart, yep,
Google podcast and yep. All right, well that's pretty good
if you're going to search for it, search for it
by the by the whole name the John Boy and
Billy Late Risers podcast.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay, Big Show is in there as well.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
But if you get when you're doing the search engine,
because I've tested on all of them, if you just
type the John Boy two words and not the Emperor Sam,
but the word A and D Billy, it'll show up.
And that's enough for it to fill in. The blame
bad day.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
So you miss some of you gotta get mess some show,
catch up on a whole.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Deal yep, all right, on your schedule for a change.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
We'll jagged out and it's free and priced right, says
the media. Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up,
we'll play John Boy Jevity always go. Do we get
a winner? So that means somebody will win fifty dollars
to spend on an American Express gift card courtesy of
bow Jangles. It's bow time. As we know, Randy's out
(16:54):
of his cushy corner office back in the studio in
the trenches of the Big Show every day.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
Yay.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
As we decided, let's look back at some of the
history of Randy at the Big Show. Oh, let's don't
always gonna be great. A little later, one of your
many voice the Doctor orl Rogers will be in the playhouse.
What are you talking about? First, start off with this
classic playhouse action.
Speaker 12 (17:27):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the
Butcher stops here. As our story opens, Citizen Randy is
trying to unwind at a local watering hole after work
when he's approached by a Big Show fan.
Speaker 7 (17:44):
Hey, excuse me, are you Randy from the John Boy
and Billy Show.
Speaker 8 (17:49):
Jeez?
Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yeah, yeah, it's me what you want? I don't do autographs?
Speaker 7 (17:53):
No, I don't mean to bother you or anything. I
just thought I recognize you. I'm the president of the
Star Trek Fan Club of the Southeast. I just wanted
to for you a couple of passes to our upcoming
show at the Holiday Inn.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Oh you gotta be kidding me.
Speaker 14 (18:05):
Waste a day of my life rubbing elbows with a
bunch of sci fi geeks that wear rubber ears and
still live at home with their parents. I don't think so, Pal,
I heard you were a big Trek fan.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Oh give me a break.
Speaker 14 (18:16):
Star Trek is almost as big a waste of time
as the Internet. I thought you were a big web
surf for two hardly. But hey, if you get any
good neudy pictures of Terry Hatcher.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Or maybe we can talk.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
Man, you're a lot different than I imagine. You don't
even wear those sissy looking clothes.
Speaker 14 (18:32):
Hey, Pal, it's called show business, it ain't a real life.
So what do you think of these leather pants? Really
show off the old fruit basket, don't you think Boy
John Boy Billy make you out to be a real
geek or something? Yeah, well, those morons wouldn't know how
to wipe their own nose if it weren't for me,
who do you think writes all that stuff them?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (18:51):
All right, excuse me, Randy, May I hunch just one
momo of your time.
Speaker 14 (18:56):
Jeez, it's Bigfoot himself. Hey, Curly, I told you when
we're not on the air, it's Butch. Okay, now do
your mind I'm talking here.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Well sorry, Butch, but a fellow over there was just
trying to talk to me about sports.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
I wanted to ask you about this NASCAR compling that
we talked about on the show.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
I'm so confused. It's Winston Cup Racing. You talking, chimp.
Speaker 14 (19:18):
Hey, take a hike here, go give me a pack
of camel non filters.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Way up?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Butts okay, pal, well you almost finished.
Speaker 8 (19:25):
Gee.
Speaker 7 (19:26):
Yeah, my wife wanted me to tell you that she
thinks the thing you do with the rose every week
for your wife is really sweet, and she thinks you're
a really thoughtful.
Speaker 14 (19:34):
Give me a break. I got an annual contract to
the Flores. They come automatically, goes on the credit card
at the end of the month. It's I know, brainer. Besides,
it keeps her out of my hair. Hey, is that
your wife waving at you over there?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yeah? That's all right there.
Speaker 14 (19:49):
Hey she's pretty hot. Yeah, you mind if I take
her out in a parking lot and make out with
her for a few minutes.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Now, you're going too far.
Speaker 7 (19:56):
I came over here to offer you a token to
my esteem for your work and E been a total jackass.
Speaker 14 (20:01):
Hey, you want to give me something, how about giving
me back to five minutes of my life you just wasted.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Take a hike, monkey boy. Hey, your wife chants are mine?
You let me know?
Speaker 14 (20:12):
Huh boy?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
I wish i'd known me in high school.
Speaker 14 (20:19):
Nurse, how about another vodka rocks over here and keep
on coming.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Hey, what time you get off work?
Speaker 12 (20:33):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Tune
in again next time. When will hear Butcher say.
Speaker 8 (20:47):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Fun for everybody but me? Idea?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yeah, y'all, Well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Well, there
is a very well review restaurant in Freedom Main that
only accepts reservations using this method of communication.
Speaker 6 (21:08):
Oh, I read about this a note delivered by carrier Lobster.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
So what do you think only takes reservations using this
method of communication? One eight hundred big show? You told
Freeline come on, we play John Boydeparday next, Good Morning.
(21:51):
It's a big Shaw on the radio for you Monday.
And our video today brought you by Mount Olive Munchies.
That is why you pickled Craven munchies, a portable piggle
in the bouts Babel in grocery stores right now, check
them out of the Mount Island Piggle coming it. We
got a guy's roommate stealing the show, so it's like
a live streaming guy brushing his teeth where they just
(22:13):
put anything on the internet like this crap. The show
really needed stealing, No kidding, man, Big old fat roommate,
tasty shirt off. That's when it starts to pick up. Well,
let's right there at the Big Show dot Com chent
yacking have it right now. Let's play Yes Live across
(22:36):
on Urgaians.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Oh wo now your host his Monday mood. I'm here
and I'm wearing pants. Besides that, no promises, he is
John on.
Speaker 12 (22:51):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Let's say hey to Jimmy out of a rab Alabama.
Good morning, Jimmy, Good morning, Hey man, we're good a body. Well, Jimmy,
see what you got. There's a very well reviewed restaurant
in Freedom Main that only accepts reservations using this method
of communication. What you think of, Jimmy card?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
How about postcard?
Speaker 3 (23:16):
You say a postcard? Is it a postcard?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You call Bill? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
That's right, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
No card. How about no card, no car, note card,
no card, postcard. He's looking more like for the method
of getting it too.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah. Yeah, like, so how would you say what he said?
The mail? You mail the postcard.
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Let's see, which doesn't seem nearly as hard as we
made it sound.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Well, the is a US Postal service, Ye'll be right.
Reservation request, Yeah, so mail it in and then like
it is a very fine restaurant, they say, And if
yours is one of the randomly drawn letters from the pot,
so you mail it in. They put it in a
pot and then if they pull it out, they'll contact
you and you can eat there.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
And now, so don't call us, We'll call you. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
See exactly. And they've been sold out for years. That's great,
they've just started taking reservations for twenty twenty.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
You know, the best way to get people to want something,
tell them.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
They can that's exactly right.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Hey, why boy, Jimmy down, I ain't red figured that out.
Speaker 13 (24:33):
Good work.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Jimy will give you fifty bucks to spend on a
marriage Express gift card Curtis and Bowl Jangles.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Awesome. Hey, a couple of things. My last call I
was the first.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
It was my first call.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
I didn't get a move, all right.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
I give a shout out, shout out my friends and
family and the Marshall County Rocket Sea Rangers here in
North Alabama.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Well, I'll write jim in here's you move. Doesn't it
mean more now that you waited for it? Jimmy, it
really does. Light would jump out, catch you up on
your news. Right on the other side, our time capsule
for this January thirteen ain't on for life. This is
(25:43):
the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show, the
South's number one export. And that's time for Oliver.
Speaker 8 (26:04):
Well.
Speaker 15 (26:05):
Well, well, so I guess that New Year's resolution to
lose weight has gone by the wayside. Diets are tough.
You either don't get enough to eat, you don't get
enough variety, or you go broke on some TV weight
loss scheme that doesn't really work. Remember Larry the cable
(26:25):
guy bragging he lost so much weight now he looks
like Larry that can't push himself away from the table.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Guy whoa well.
Speaker 15 (26:34):
The other day, over a big filling glass of toilet
water and a carrot stick, I noticed that two year
old's always seemed to look so trim, except for the
little Asian ones who plump up nicely. But since you
don't see many toddlers pumping iron at the why it
must be their diet. So I did a little research,
(26:59):
and after some close observation, I've discovered the four day
miracle toddler diet.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Let me preach on it.
Speaker 15 (27:09):
Day one breakfast two bites of a scrambled egg, dump
the rest on the floor. One bite of heavily buttered toast.
Use what's left to comb your hair. Lunch, four crayons
any color and three stale friedos from under the couch cushion.
(27:30):
Glass of milk only three SIPs, then pour the rest
in dad sock. Draw dinner a stick from the yard,
two pennies and a nickel, four SIPs of water out
of the bird bath. Day two Breakfast one pop tart
(27:51):
any flavor, eat the crust and put the rest in
mom's favorite book. Drink half bottle of vanilla extra lunch,
Finish the food in the cat's dish. One half tube
of older sister's hot pink lipstick and a dust bunny.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Dessert.
Speaker 15 (28:13):
One ice cube if desired. Midday stack Tourtsi roll pop
rolled in dirt, Let clean, repeat, then bring in the
house and stick to the back of the couch for later.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Dinner.
Speaker 15 (28:30):
Three uncooked beans swallow two, put the third in your nose.
Mashed potatoes mixed with a healthy splash of grape kool aid,
eat with straw. Day three breakfast. Two pancakes with way
too much syrup. Eat one with fingers. Use leftover syrup
(28:53):
on hand to tame that cow. Lick hole stick other
pancake in half glass of meat milk, Take sucker off
back of couch, lick off the fuzz and use to
stir pancake and milk to make smoothie. Lunch peanut butter
and dog food sandwich. Handful of free range caterpillars with
(29:18):
aerosol cheese for toffee. If still hungry, have three matches
swig of Mom's gane ne te for a palette clemser dinner,
microwave mac and cheese topped with arts and crafts paste.
(29:39):
Half roll of toilet paper, gum from under the coffee
table for dessert. Final day breakfast, quarter tube of toothpaste,
a bite of soap, suggest Lifeboy, and an olive from
the old man's wet bar. A bowl of cereal with
equal parts cornflakes and sugar. Drink milk, feed cereal to dog, lunch,
(30:05):
eat light, hunt and peck the crumbs off the kitchen
floor and dining room carpet. If you have trouble using
your fingers, get that sucker off the back of the couch.
Dinner splurge. Go to the Chinese buffet with your parents.
Wander around the dining room, grazing off dropped dumplings and
(30:26):
mystery meat on floor. Wander in the kitchen, help yourself
to some chicken sushi, so nightcap, stick of mascara out
of mom's purse, then repeat as needed. You're guaranteed to
lose weight, either by throwing up or having your stomach pumped.
After all, the only thing that matters is results. You're welcome,
(30:57):
chum Boy and Billy.
Speaker 12 (31:00):
By the power is vested in me by the Federal
Communications Commission.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I command you to get on the microphone in a
serious manner and continue this broadcast.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Good Morning Radio done right, Good morning, This big show
(31:40):
on the radio, rolling to you Monday, January the thirteenth.
We're celebrating Randy back in a big show studio with
a sleeves don't yes big your requests for this all
the time? Randy versus the Chipmunk, I was attacked in
my home, the highlights of Randy's life. There's more than
(32:04):
hey go ness uh coming up in about twenty minutes
from right now. Okay, that's what, Thanks you funny, There
you go. Hell, there's a pink cuddleoc in the parking lots.
So if mayor pet didn't making a campaign stopped, there's
only one other person that could be Hello, Oh my god.
Speaker 11 (32:23):
What's stinks in here?
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Hey?
Speaker 11 (32:25):
You hate seeds?
Speaker 5 (32:26):
You know me.
Speaker 11 (32:27):
I'm funny, the expert on funny.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Right.
Speaker 11 (32:29):
Oh well, the New Year already stinks.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
I tell you why.
Speaker 11 (32:34):
I think my ATM is giving out counterfeit bills. The
clerk at the store gave me a funny look when
I asked, can you break a twenty three? It stinks
I'm getting audited by the irs. Apparently you can't claim
a chihuahua is a dependent it Why, I don't know
you just can't.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
I try.
Speaker 13 (32:55):
Steaks.
Speaker 11 (32:57):
I was shopping for my granddaughter's baby shower the other day.
I went to a store and asked the clerk if
he had baby nipples. He says, no, mine are full grown. Okay,
it stays, and it's not much better at home as
it is out here. Last night, my husband reached for
his liquid viagra and Excellent accidentally grabbed a bottle of
liquid paper. So this morning we woke up with a
(33:19):
huge correction. You're distracting me. It steaks, It steaks. I
went out to the garage last week and he was
organizing all his golf equipment. I said, you know, we
don't spend enough time together. Maybe it's time you quit golfing.
You spend way too much time on the course. You know,
you could probably get a good price for your clubs.
(33:40):
He looked at me with this horrified look on his face.
I said, what's wrong? He says, for a minute, there
you were sounding just like my ex wife. I said,
ex wife, I didn't know you were married before. He
said I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
It stays, says, it's only.
Speaker 11 (33:57):
Something with that guy. Once, out of the blue, he
invited one of his young he's at the golf course
home for dinner. I dragged him into the other room
and I said, I haven't fixed my hair, I haven't
done my makeup. I haven't even done any housework, much
less cook. And he did it for you. What the
hell did you invite him over for? He said, because
he's thinking about getting married. He said it because he
(34:17):
thinks he's getting Okay, forget about it. I guess I
shouldn't complain'ny ha ha, you you're fuddy goober. Oh, I
shouldn't complain. We've only had one fight in forty five years,
and it lasted forty five years. Okay, it stays out there.
Relationship he ain't easy.
Speaker 6 (34:36):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 11 (34:37):
Take a seat, honey, I'm going to be a minute,
all right.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Right.
Speaker 11 (34:40):
A guy and his wife are having trouble at home.
There's a big fight, and they wind up giving each
other the silent treatment. The guy realizes that the next
day he would need his wife to wake him up
at five am for an early morning flight. Not wanting
to be, you know, the first to break the silence,
he writes on a piece of paper, important wake me
at five am, And he left it where he knew
he'd find it. The next morning. He wakes up and
(35:02):
it's nine am. When he wakes up the next morning,
he missed his flight. So he's furious. It was about
to go see why his wife didn't wake him up
when he noticed a piece of paper on his bed
and it said it's five am. Wake up there, it is,
Saint damn.
Speaker 13 (35:17):
Be careful.
Speaker 11 (35:18):
My work here is done off the ugoba's around the bed,
you know. And if they ask you, it's funny.
Speaker 3 (35:23):
You say, Bunny's husband, it's so longing, Lisa. Now say
that again. Harold, hey, brother in law, and he wanted
you to do something for I'm all right, So here
it goes, and this is what you choose.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Okay, So it's his fault, you know.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Okay, Okay, I want Jacket and Tyler.
Speaker 14 (35:52):
Hey, hey, Jacket.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Well it could have been a lot worse. Good morning.
(36:37):
That's a big show on the radio for you, Monday,
January or thirteenth. Well, brand new work week here this morning.
And uh, you know, I had some kind of innerson.
I heard you talking about speaking up the work week
and paychecks and stuff.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Well, when I started putting together a podcast for us,
I started listening to a lot of podcasts, and there
was one it's called Planet Money, and they were questioning
why Americans still have to wait for their paycheck. You know,
if you work a day's labor, why can't you just
have access to your money. So usually it's either like
a week or two weeks or two weeks or some
(37:12):
people don't get paid once a month. Yeah, okay, And
anybody in the who's ever drew a breath of air
has at least at some point in their life said,
I don't get paid till Friday. I might have to
hold off on and bills get late, you overdraw your
checking account, and that's a thirty five dollars charge at
most banks, you know, And it doesn't make sense if.
Speaker 2 (37:33):
You overdraw by two dollars, you get a thirty five
dollars fine.
Speaker 6 (37:37):
If I don't have two dollars, sure don't have seven dollars.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
No, Yeah, that's exactly so.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
And in fact, the banks make in two thousand and seven,
they made thirty four billion dollars.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
On overdraft charges.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Ooh, and you know, not to mention how much the
payday loan companies are cracking up on this.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
But you know, people.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
Overdraw because paydays you know, in the future, but the
power company doesn't care you don't get paid on Friday.
They want their money on the due day. So it
makes you wonder why do we I mean, money is
transferred mostly by electronic means. Now, why can't you just
have access to your money when you need it? You know,
(38:16):
we would call that a payday loan from the employer sometimes,
you know, or a paycheck advance or whatever. It's your money.
It's already your money, so why can't you have access
to it? And for folks who work minimum wage jobs
are like in fast food and stuff, it's even more
of a problem. So there there's a company that's actually
starting to get in between your employer and you with
(38:41):
your money. So you know, when your payday actually comes along,
it kind of filters through this other company to before
it hits your paycheck. So that way, you have an
app on your phone, You load the app up, you
transfer how much money you have available, and the app
keeps up with what it's available, and you use that
money then and then when your actual paycheck comes out,
(39:04):
it deducts what is in between.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
So this company do they have to know exactly how
much you get paid or do they just again just
take your word for it.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
It's a good question. And no, yeah, it's a it's
a system that's set up by the employer. Okay, so
your employer has to set this up. Yeah, your employer
sets up and it doesn't cost the employers anything. One
of the companies is called the name of it here,
I'll get back to you. But the company gets in
between the paycheck and you is free to the employer.
(39:37):
They don't pay anything for the service. You have to
pay two dollars and ninety nine cent if you want
the money right now, and I mean it transfers instantly.
I mean right now. It's in your checking account. So
in these other places you got to go in person
to get a loan. Yeah, you're getting a loan, but
you have to repats a lot. Yeah, this is your money.
And so if you if you want it right now today,
(39:57):
it's two dollars and ninety nine cent. If you want
it to tomorrow, it's only a dollar ninety nine that's
less than you know, an ATM charge for most folks.
You know, so, and it would help bridge the gaps.
And the company that's doing this has said that you know,
people are. You know, it's not like they're going in
and taking thirty dollars or forty dollars even numbers. They're
taking very odd numbers like one twenty one sixteen, which
(40:20):
is obviously somebody's bill for something. So they're taking they're
only using it when they need to and their conservatives
so that they still get a paycheck coming in so
they can budget it. Yeah, so this one company, uh,
there are several startups doing this, but this one in
particular is called daily Pay.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
That's the name of the app.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
So if you, you know, want to approach your employer,
they they show statistically that it helps keep people on
the job, you know, because they don't look for other
jobs because this is a perk that's available to them
to help bridge the gap.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
So great service, great idea, right, and maybe some.
Speaker 3 (40:53):
Employers listen, would like to get that help.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Absolute like that because it doesn't cost you anything, right,
doesn't cost the employer a thing, and the service charges
on the user on.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
Two none none, All right, can you load me three bucks?
Speaker 14 (41:05):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (41:06):
I'm in shut up. Good morning, Big shows on the
radio coming up. The easiest way for you to win
that would be the Current Events quiz we got a
Happy Herd prize bag for you. All right, highlights for Randy?
Is what's happening this Monday morning? Or we could do
something else. Are you give us an advance on our paycheck?
(41:29):
What do you want to do?
Speaker 13 (41:30):
I'll do that.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Let's have fun this classic Randy versus the Chipmunk roll
that Randy. You had a little run in with the
animal yesterday, didn't you.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
I was attacked in my home. I required medical attention.
Speaker 3 (41:44):
Bye Stupy the chihuahua.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Oh no, I had enough. I was sitting down in
the basement.
Speaker 6 (41:49):
Reading, you're killing me, come on with here, and Miranda.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Came down to tell me that dinner was ready.
Speaker 3 (41:56):
My daughter, huh.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
So we came out of the out of one room,
going into another, and this little chipmunk darted across the floor,
and Miranda went, and what did you do?
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I went.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
More, screaming like a girl, probably me, because you know,
a critter in your house is a frightening thing.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
So she screams. I screamed, and then we.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
Looked at your ice cream.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
And I said, it's a it's a mouse. No, it's
it's a squirrel. I couldn't tell it was a chipmunk
and ran in and went right straight to the corner
and balled up like, you can't see me if I
don't look at you.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
How did this? How's you sound?
Speaker 5 (42:32):
You?
Speaker 13 (42:32):
Get out? Get out? I don't care. I'm going. I'm going.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
So we tried the coats him away, and all you
do is cower in the corner. So I sent.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Now, don't you wish you'd played ball? There's a boy,
been good bat in practice.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
So now my wife comes downstairs, and we sent her
up to get some gardening gloves so that I could
try to pick him up and put him out.
Speaker 6 (42:59):
The gardening gloves upstairs.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Well, in the garage, I was down in the basement.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
Oh yea.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
So she goes and gets some brings down and put
them on, and he just sits there. So I reach
over and pick him up, and I think, well, this
is not so bad, and I'm walking towards the door,
and he decides all of a sudden, I don't like this,
and so he nuts inside my hand, nuts inside my
hands and ended up wriggling between my fingers and bit
through the glove and made this little teeny little bite
(43:25):
let me say it, on my on my right finger
on my left hand, right there, right right.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
That's a chipmunk bike.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
It's a little teeny little bike, you know. So I figured,
no big deal. I finally get up.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Now my wife trying to get the key to unlock
the door was somewhat comical because at this point he
this little chipmunks decided I ain't letting go to thunder strikes.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
You know, the door is locked, you can't get out.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
But the chipmunk got in.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
I don't know how it happened, but I've.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Got him in there, and now he's got a bite
on me. And you know how dogs when they get
ahold of like a ragg and they shake their heads.
Speaker 2 (43:56):
That's what he was doing. So she finally gets in.
I'm going.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
So she finally gets the door open and I put
him outside and he bounces away and he stopped and
gave me the little chipmunk finger and later, so all right,
so I have dinner and it's all over. I'm thinking,
no big deal, you know. So I go off to
run an errand away from the house. While I'm gone,
my bride decides to call animal control just out of
curiosity to see if there's anything.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
To wanh about.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
Ten rampart. We're almost there, and.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
They recommended that I call our family doctor. So doctor
Walthall goes meets me at his office to give me
a TETNAS shot and by the time I get home, now.
Speaker 10 (44:38):
Well, first he said, come on, this is a business fault.
So thanks to doctor Walfall, she got a TETNA shot.
So yeah, and I get back home and guess what's
sitting in the driveway. Animal control. They're there to file
a report.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I was going to his friends.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
That's him.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
So I met with Officer Posey of the Charlotte Mecklenburg
Police Department Animal Control, who fills out a report and
then gleefully informs me that I'll likely have to undergo
Raby's treatment.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
I got that have oh man?
Speaker 1 (45:13):
And I said no, I won't and she said, yeah
you can. I said, well, they can't make me. She went,
yeah they can't. I said, well, first of all, doctor
Walthall says that it's a rodent and rodents don't carry rabies,
and she went, well, really, it's.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Up to our office.
Speaker 13 (45:26):
Wait, you did.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
This girl?
Speaker 1 (45:29):
She weighs about ninety pounds, She could barely see over
the steering whell. In fact, one of my neighbors come
out and go, hey, how do you see ever the
steering wheel and that thing a little, tiny little girl.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
But sweet, that's a good idea, you know, make fun
of the animal control. Yeah, has a truck full of badgers.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Now, she doesn't get to make that decision. I don't
know who does. The health department does, so we should
watch you. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
I went immediately to the Internet to try to figure
it out. And from what I understand, you have to
have treatment within a couple of days. And if you
don't have the treatment, then there's in the incubation.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Period and your wife is still living in your house.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
That's hard to believe. But yes, guess who else got involved?
Because at the point I was going, I'm not gonna
screw with this. I'm coming home, no big deal. She
calls reinforcements.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Guess who who? Jackie. Now Jackie's all over me to
go get this shot.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
So I figure if I ever want to have a
home cooked meal or sleep with a woman again.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Sorry Jackie.
Speaker 4 (46:27):
You know there's a full moon coming up. Yeah, if
you strut growing hair all over your body, you'll know
there's something wrong.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
And he starts following at the turn into this big
giant ware chip mine chip mynk mine.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
I wait till now, because I know my wife's inside
the school with my daughter. Here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna get me some Alca selts or tablets. I
always wake up before her on the weekends on Saturday.
I'm gonna put a couple of them, pop them in there,
and I'm just gonna reach over and go and I'm
gonna grab her and then she looks over. There's gonna
be a foam coming on my mouth, and then I'm
gonna go, oh.
Speaker 3 (47:02):
Micro kitchen, not tonight. I've got a head ache.
Speaker 13 (47:07):
That guts you.
Speaker 3 (47:08):
Drinking out the toilet and look around like you get caught.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Well, the downside of that is I'd have to drink
out of the toilet. Sounds like a good plan up
to that point, though, but supposedive. I mean, they have
a good job, though a hard.
Speaker 5 (47:20):
Job to do.
Speaker 7 (47:20):
And lord, can you see Randy coming in here like
that giant chipmunk and nutty professor too.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Mail.
Speaker 15 (47:29):
I'm crawling through the heads row in front of my house,
catching copper heads with my bare hand, and you get
bit by.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
A ship, and the lesson learned here. If you ever
get bitten by anything, don't set it free.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Keep it. You got to keep it back.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
It's yours. And if it doesn't it never that. That's
a poster down stair.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
Keep it.
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Call animal control and whatever city you live live and
let them. They'll test the animal to see if it
has rabies in.
Speaker 3 (47:58):
These gardening gloves. That doesn't work. Oh but I ruined
your life, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I can promise you if I have to go through
Raby stream and my wife.
Speaker 3 (48:08):
Is dead, oh man, you know what they did. Well,
I'm glad the little chipmunk didn't have to die because
it turns out what a talented chip monkey is. And
love sling Blade one of our favorite movies.
Speaker 13 (48:19):
I studied on Biting you study on quite a bit.
So what you got good to eat in there?
Speaker 2 (48:28):
Well, sir, we've we've we've got nuts and berries, twigs.
Did you want me to go through the whole menu?
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Well, the.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
The twigs are pretty good French road twigs, yes, sir. Well,
the the small order is fifty five and the large
order is a dollar.
Speaker 13 (48:51):
We can I have me. Some of the beatoms came along.
I play car J shall not I stand only here
but nine four three and then that that kind of
(49:13):
off center like in Portry.
Speaker 3 (49:17):
You know, I think we need to practice.
Speaker 13 (49:19):
We need to We don't need to practice. Rangy y'all
just a bunch of loser. I'm don't to say something
here mediciner, amulets and a hurst. Ain't you doing something?
Speaker 8 (49:38):
Meant?
Speaker 5 (49:39):
No?
Speaker 13 (49:40):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (49:40):
I love you, mama, thank you?
Speaker 3 (49:46):
You crazed to chipmunk.
Speaker 13 (49:50):
I don't shut up. I'm gonna go out of my marc.
Speaker 2 (49:54):
Yeah you laugh.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
Try living it boys, all right there you Oh, let's
play the current events quiz Bidley, what are we dealing with?
Speaker 4 (50:03):
Florida Man takes? If you love it so much, why
don't you marry it to a whole new line.
Speaker 3 (50:09):
One eight hundred, Big show. You told free line you
take c you will win. We played next
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