April 7, 2025 • 43 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, it’s national Beer Day - we’ll celebrate!.. - Mad Max shares his rules for dating his daughter.. - Mary Jane has been doing some deep thinking.. - Cadbury takes Carl Childers to the Circus.. - Tom Mabe messes with another telemarker.. - Hoyt has a story about an elephant.. - and Ike Turner explores the upside to having an ugly prom date…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
You got the big show on the radio, more chance
for you to win coming up after your news, weather
and sports.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Ut Mama, all I wanted to do was have a
let us sandwich on gluten bread, a tall glass of buttermilk,
and crawl under a bearskin rug. Why do I have
to listen to that John boy person and Billy whoever
on that noisy big shoe button, Mama.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I can do the new homing at them. It is Monday,
April the seventh, and you got a big show on
the radio. Things for kicking your work week off with
us kicking our work week off with you. See how
that words reciprocating. We're reciprocal. Let's see latest words that
(01:22):
I've learned keeping my eye on Washington A right impressed
about the national days, right quick? National note housework Day. Alright,
let's go ahead.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
That's today.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Lord, My wife calls it every day National Coffee cake Day.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
All right?
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Got that?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
And it's uh if I get to I know I'm complaining.
I always complain about the women days. You know you have,
like about it's only three hundred and sixty five days
in a year and.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
We get like fifteen six.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Let's talk about fifteen. Well, today is one of them. Okay,
I don't know this first or second, her third one
of the year. It's already April the seventh. And see
and not only is this another woman girl thing? They
make you say it the way this is named. You
have to say it like that. And I don't appreciate
(02:19):
me being manipulated like that. Here it is national girl,
me too? Today? Did I do it right? Yeah? But
it is all right? I mean, you know, read further.
It recognizes the strength and endurance of women of all ages.
(02:41):
As a lover of women of all ages can get
behind that. This is an opportunity for y'all to show
support within each other. Marcy and Jackie, I know y'all
support each other very well.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Girl too.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Outside let me know. I would like to see that.
Is he on your nerves?
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Me too?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
All right?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
And is national? And I saved the best for last
beer Day.
Speaker 7 (03:12):
We'll be back in a minute with morning excitement.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Right after this word.
Speaker 8 (03:16):
Here beer there we will be celebrating on Monday morning
along National Beer Day.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
We're gonna get away and go to your job or
some jumble billing Late Risers podcast after the broadcast, Good
morning big shows on a radio. I got a pretty
good day idea of what's going on to tell you
what a good morning Big shows on a radio. First
prize pack today. LS Tractor Prize Package include some cool
(03:53):
swag like a hat, some stainless steel insulated tumbler action,
a nice key chain. You go to LS Tractor USA
the day, find your local dealer, learn why customers start
blue and stay blue. Got the banner at the Big
Show dot com. You know how we do it. Three
days in history. We're gonna have three categories. Set you up.
It was nineteen o two the Texas Fuel Company was found.
(04:15):
It's just outside Beaumont. Texas later became known as Texico
is now owned by Shell follow the oil nineteen eighty seven,
President Ronald Reagan was worried the US Embassy in Moscow
was bugged, so he ordered an investigation and even suggested
tearing down the entire building. Of course, one of our
(04:38):
buddy Terry Hansen stories when him and Bob Neil was
sitting down there for Ted Turner to get the Cuban
All Star Game Baseball hoarded to a baseball game in Cuban.
They knew the hotel where they put him was bugged,
so they acted like spies. Almost got killed. That's a
(04:59):
great way to go. What that was a good idea?
Oh hey, these guys will love this.
Speaker 9 (05:06):
What all right? You're going to kill Castro?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Right? Oh finally, oh two police and Moss Norway captured
an assault suspect trying to escape naked on a single
roll a single roller skate. Okay, we got the visual
game man had allegedly attacked a woman who was delivering
his newspaper. I said the man was angry cause of
the number of advertising flyers that came with his paper,
(05:33):
though not hurt seriously, she said it was a little scary.
I pay for this paper? Why are the advertisements at it?
Speaker 10 (05:39):
Write this down?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Okay?
Speaker 10 (05:41):
Naked with just a one roller skate, right, that would
make a great Halloween costume.
Speaker 9 (05:47):
That toy.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
What y'all got, I mean knows, I don't want to
know what y'all got. That's our three categories. We're getting
ready to play out birds. So one eight hundred big
shows you told free Line, Come on, we'll do it
next Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Monday,
(06:31):
April seven. Of our feature track for the Big Show,
bit box is an ax like the ugly prom date, Sir,
tricky words, ugly date at the big show dot coming
now a wait's words upburst? Let's play upburst.
Speaker 11 (06:49):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Shon, boy and Bully give the prizes from the big
prize be Let's go contested.
Speaker 11 (07:00):
Number one should really be a lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
You're playing up the tattle Mary up.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
And guess time you love the best time you love
a big shots.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
To Jerry from Clamberton, North Carolina. Shot morning, j Don't
that make you want to get up and run towards it?
Speaker 12 (07:35):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yes, there you are all right, buddy, welcome in here, Jerry.
Let's get you do these three categories and get you
the prize pack. You ready to go?
Speaker 13 (07:44):
All right, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Three gas stations or companies in five seconds. Ready go.
Speaker 13 (07:52):
Vp X, seme and shell bam.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Now.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Three things that can be bugged? Ready go.
Speaker 13 (08:03):
Your phone, your office, in your car.
Speaker 7 (08:07):
For the win.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Three things that are delivered, Ready to go.
Speaker 13 (08:13):
Mail, piets, newspapers, Yeah, out of clever winning.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Now let's try a price pappage. Joy glad you want buddy,
appreciate you listening. I'm glad you played, and I'm just
tickled with it.
Speaker 13 (08:30):
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
You sure can.
Speaker 13 (08:32):
I'd like to give a shout out to my wife.
We've been married for forty three years on Saint Patrick's
Day this year and uh still going strong.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
All right, that's awesome if you were going there, Joe,
congratulations that by proud to have y'all listening. You hang on,
Jack can try to break up all right? Bottom of
they wearing taboo news. Got ready for Robert Earl ken
(09:04):
swearing on our Monday Morning we had to sing along
to be Born m Good morning Big shows.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
On the radio.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
We got a lot of faves at the Great State
of Texas. One of them is Robert Earl Keane Monday
Morning song as done by Robert Earl Keane is being
lying in.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
A bet sho.
Speaker 14 (09:58):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. Come on, Jack
and get ready to say sometimes on my days are
filled with and ride.
Speaker 15 (10:12):
As I traveled, I left some bad things ain't going
my way because there's always someone swirming in my life.
Speaker 14 (10:27):
To keep swirming in my life, and it's causing lots
of thinginger.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
I'm shooting you the phone.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Keep switching on my bride lives. It's just too.
Speaker 6 (10:47):
Him when you're swerving.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
All lives pie by, you're running someone off the road?
Day Oh why I thought I.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
Never never could belive another.
Speaker 15 (11:08):
How else could I feed?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
But bowing you run into me.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
I can't believe I could not see her all tank up.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
The ones at the waiting.
Speaker 14 (11:27):
You keep swimming in my life, just causing lots of bangs.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting in the fight.
Speaker 15 (11:42):
I keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
But you're just too dimpty now.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
When you're swerving all lights?
Speaker 6 (11:52):
How why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
A big show, Good morning, Big Shows on a radio, Monday,
(12:32):
April seven, five.
Speaker 16 (12:37):
Action, Hello friends, your old pal Burn Fern here with
another Moeller chattering edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Today's episode the Funeral. As our story opens, two old
friends meet at a funeral.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Wasn't that a lovely funeral?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Hey, hello, Megan, what's been a long time? Well, it
sure has tom us.
Speaker 9 (13:03):
It's father Tom, now father Tom?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Well?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Does this mean you finally stop selling pop to the
college kids?
Speaker 16 (13:09):
Out just on the weekends? Now church doesn't pay much
and I need to make ends. So what have you
been up to?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Well, I'm a mortician. In fact, I took care of Denise.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Really wow, she looks great.
Speaker 9 (13:20):
You do nice work.
Speaker 16 (13:22):
Almost didn't recognize her without all her usual trashy makeup.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Yeah, it was really on there.
Speaker 9 (13:27):
How'd you get it off a pressure washer?
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Hey, it's not like she's gonna feel it, right, I.
Speaker 16 (13:32):
Mean, so what was her story? I mean I kind
of lost track of her after high school.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Not a happy tale. Unfortunately. She was married seven or
eight times, had a total of twenty three kids.
Speaker 16 (13:43):
These three kids, geez, get a new hobby, right, And.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
In between that, she was pretty much jumping from hookup
to hookup.
Speaker 9 (13:50):
Wow, just like in high school. She sure did love
the boys.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Not just the boys, no way.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Really, well, how did you know that? Oh?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Yeah, we were in college. It was a little fair.
Speaker 9 (14:04):
It was a whole thing. I don't need to know anymore.
It's kind of hot.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Though, you know.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Her last husband was Deke Milford, your best friend from
senior year, right, Wow?
Speaker 9 (14:14):
Whatever happen to him?
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Died from some rare venereal disease. She had to clap
so much her nickname was applause.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Niece was a walking movie of the week, wasn't she?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
You said it?
Speaker 9 (14:25):
Well, at least they're together at last.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Which husband are you talking about?
Speaker 9 (14:30):
Not talking about her husband, I'm talking about her legs.
Speaker 16 (14:32):
So we hope you enjoy John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Oh and you left those top.
Speaker 9 (14:45):
Two buttons undone for old time sake.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 16 (14:49):
Tune in next time when we'll hear Denise's friend at
the Free Clinics say.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning
everybody of my Big Show family you thank you for listening,
your listen news. What a sports coming up?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Hello?
Speaker 9 (15:07):
Listen, Ricky Bay sharp brother?
Speaker 17 (15:09):
Oh how about you pot lickers? Are listening to a
couple other pot liquors noted John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. You know, I just a guest star
on the Playhouse and the official mascot from mister populist
Pizza Runt.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
Speaker 18 (15:28):
But this note from John Boy keep it short.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Good morning, it's a Big Show on the radio. Over
to you Monday morning, brand you John Boy. Wonderful thing
is up at the Big Show dot com m A
A number one hundred and thirty eight, Tons of Fun
for Youngsters. The Talking Record for Boys narrated by Missus
Rosemary Rice on twelve inch final You have a shy
(16:31):
young man, might bring him out of his shell. This
record actually engages to child and conversation, exciting question an
answer game. I deal for all preschool children and first graders.
You sinsy, you don't everything as a record player? Yeah right.
Speaker 10 (16:54):
That same lady also did one for girls, and I
actually have a little snip of it.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Let's hear that one, all right?
Speaker 19 (17:01):
Do you know who I am? I'm rosemar You're talking
record friends, and I belong just to you. I'm always
here waiting to talk to you whenever you want to
play our special game together, just you and me. Would
you like to start right now?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
This may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. You've
got a child so lonely they have to talk to
a record player. What kind of parent are you? Well,
don't spoiler, because I found that record too. The Talking
Record for Girls is my next wonderful thing. All right,
all right, you ahead, luck there Fada? How old is Miranda?
Speaker 9 (17:39):
Thirty four?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Let's worry about what we got up right here. We'll
give it away the beginning of the final hour with
the Big Show this Friday at the end of our work. Well,
check it out at Big Show dot com. Good morning,
I got the Big Show on the radio. Coming up,
we play John Boy Jeppard Ay for an assortment of
swag from World Lawnmowers are the best value zero turn
mowers on the market, features a three year unlimited hours warning,
(18:05):
Cawasaki Engines, heavy duty steel decks, Mowey Landscaping's best kept
secret World lawn Gold on the link at the Big
Show dot Com. Before we get to that, man, I
got this Pluto TV. I was telling Jackie about where
they got the Andy Griffith channel, like twenty four hours
a day. It's like Andy Griffiths and it's like a
free streaming deal. Y'all might want to look into it.
(18:26):
It's Pluto and The Rockford Files come on around lunchtime
every day. Another few episodes. Oh that is just one
of my favorite shows. Like I remember it's just in
Radio m and this other boy I worked with old
David Hendley. We love the Rockerd Files. Yeah, anyway, is
(18:47):
a good show.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Oh awesome, three or four and I had a crush.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
He was a good man, James Garner. He would have
been ninety eight years old today, Ain't that something? My
name was James Scott Bumgarner besta remember Forest Rollers, Jim
Rockford on the Rockford Files that was nineteen seventy four
to nineteen eighty. Wow, but that man, and more recently
it was a TV show Eight Simple Rules for Dating
(19:14):
my teenage daughter. I remember that show man I did
not done. Never connect it on that and to seeing him.
I always loved him in his westerns and he was
bat Masters, the he was Maverick and the old time
Western shows. But so anyway, Garner said, in fact, he
did all his own stunts a bat. He killed me
(19:36):
when Rockford Files, Oh you could see him limp and
he was heard.
Speaker 10 (19:39):
He was injured a number of times. I remember it
coming out in tabloids as indeed.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
But uh, he had the deal there for eight simple
rules for dating my teenage daughter. And of course our
man Mad Max takes it to the next level. All right,
this phone called Morning Big Show, John baron Belly, Oh,
Mad Max? Where is why you think? It's prom season?
(20:04):
And my daughter is of dating age?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Now, all you men out there that has got daughters
that are entering that age.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Feel free to use these and find I'm gonna use
you idiots for something other than my amusement. For any
future punks that might be wanting to date my daughter,
I want you to listen up. These are mad Max's
ten rules for dating my daughter. Rule one, if you
(20:32):
pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering
a package, because you sure ain't picking anything up.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Rule two.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
You may glance at her so long as you do
not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot
keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I will remove them. Three.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys
of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that
they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't
take this as an insult, but you and all of
your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be
fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose
(21:23):
this compromise. You may come to the door with your
underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and
I will not object.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
However, in order to ensure that your.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Clothes do not, in fact come off during the course
of your date with my daughter. I will take my
electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place
to your ways.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Rule four.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex
without utilizing a barrier method of some.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Kind can kill you. Elaborate when it comes to sex.
I am the barrier. I will kill you. Rule five.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
It is usually understood that in order for us to
get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics,
and other issues.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Of the day. Please do not do this.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
The only information I require from you is an indication
of when you expect to have my daughter safely back
at my house, and the only word I need from
you on this subject is early.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Are you following me? Rule six.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with
many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with
me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise,
once you have gone out with my little girl, you
will continue to date no one but her until she
is finished with you. If you make her cry, I
(22:56):
will make you cry as you stand in my front
hallway waiting for my daughter to appear. And more than
an hour goes by.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be
on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that
can take longer than painting the golden gate bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don't you do something useful,
like changing the oil in my car? Rule number eight.
The following places are not appropriate for a date with
my daughter. Places where there are beds sofas are anything
(23:35):
softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents.
Policemen are nuns with an eyesight. Places where there is darkness,
Places where there is dancing, holding hands are happiness. Places
worthy ambia. Temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter
to wear shorts, tank tops, mindry of T shirts are
(23:57):
anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down
partner zipped up door throw. Movies with a strong romantic
or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies which features
documentaries are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes
are better. Rule nine, do not lie to me. I
(24:19):
may appear to be a pot bellied bald in middle
aged dim when it.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Has been but on issues relating to my daughter.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I'm the all knowing, merciless God of your universe. If
I ask you where you are going and with whom,
you have one chance to tell me the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun,
a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not
trifle with me. We're at rule number ten.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Now. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
It takes very little for me to mistake the sound
of your car and the driveway for a chopper coming
in over a rice patty near hanoid.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
When my Jennari.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell
me to clean the guns.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
As I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should
exit your car with both hands and plain sight, speak
the perimeter password, and announce in a clear voice that
you have brought my daughter home safely and early. Then
return to your car. There is no need for you
to come inside. The camouflage face at the window is mine. Aye,
(25:30):
little bunks, did you get that?
Speaker 12 (25:33):
Bye?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I hope all who plan to date.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
My daughter are other daughters of any fathers that may
be within earshot of the big show to.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Heed these rules. Thank you, no problem, guys, figure I'd
help you out.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Y'all shut up, quit runing my life, John Boy and
Billy Yeah, happy promise, Saeson, you'n't have a nice day,
John Boyd Jeopardy. Let's just jump right in here. Men
are nearly nine times more likely to be bitten by
one of these than women. Oh what is a chipmunk?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Am? I right? Randy?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Not a chip bug? What y'all got one? Eight hundred?
Big Show you told free line across America. We played
John Boyd Jeopardy. Next, Good morning, it's a big Shaw
(26:52):
on the radio. Wrote until your Monday I featured track
from the Big Show. Big Box is an axe like
the ugly prom day search for key words up to
mid day. You'll a bit boxing to make sure dot
Tommy right now, let's play Yes live across America.
Speaker 10 (27:08):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now your host speaking of
nine times attention Miss Wade Graham High School.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Here he sits yet another day, still doesn't know his
nines table. He's done, boy, thank you. Let's say had
Ron out of Stanton, Virginia. Good morning Ron, Good.
Speaker 20 (27:31):
Morning fellas and ladies. How's everybody doing today.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Ye, now we are awesome. Man, welcome in here.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Ron.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
You got first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning.
So uh, let's see what you got there. You are
a man, and men are nearly nine times more likely
to be bitten by one of these than women.
Speaker 7 (27:51):
What do you think?
Speaker 20 (27:53):
All right, hold on, let me get you.
Speaker 7 (27:54):
Okay, we we were just at the beach.
Speaker 20 (27:56):
We just visited Virginia beach. I didn't get into because
I'm afraid of these animals, whatever you call them. I
think it's a shark, a shark.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
You think it's a shark, a great white stark. Let's
see just in that shark category. Well, oh yeah, I
think you like, you're more likely to be struck by
lightning than you are to be bitten by a shark.
(28:27):
So just go in during thunderstorms and get in the ocean. Man,
That's what I do.
Speaker 20 (28:31):
I'm good boy, I'm good. I'm the first. Hey, I'm
a first time caller. I want to give a shout
out to all my my stopbox derby family, especially.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
All the world champions.
Speaker 20 (28:42):
My son's a world champion, so shout out to all
the soapbox derby racers out there. But anyway, thank you all.
Appreciate you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Some wrongratulations buddy, that's a cool deal right there.
Speaker 20 (28:53):
Appreciate you John, all right, y'all thanks a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
All right, buddy, you hang on, Jack can hook you up.
Wondhibouy hour and tell me your news. Riding on the
on the side, crack over up time capsule for a
money mon alight.
Speaker 12 (29:44):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
John Boy, Billy Pillars, Randy Jackie and Wow, what luck
joining us for yugging up time? Robert D. Rayford Rayford,
I know I was wondering for that old man smell
was coming from. I know Raverd he gets out, you know,
the first one. He's always listening to yug it Up Time.
And I know he's talking back to the radio. You know,
(30:20):
he is riding down left hand lane, blinker on.
Speaker 11 (30:24):
He talked back to the radio when the radio is
not even on.
Speaker 21 (30:29):
Here.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
You are Ravered with us Friday morning, yug it Up Time.
What's on your mind? Is they just like yuck it
up stuff up there?
Speaker 5 (30:36):
You know, like I say, don't do and yuck it
up time. It's sort of vamp till you're ready. You know,
you get in here, you don't have anything particularly plan
and getting sort of go to juiced up and ready
to go, and you adrenaline flowing all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You hurting juice uff.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
See you hurt a little bit.
Speaker 12 (30:51):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (30:51):
I'd quit drinking if but I'm scared that spoil the emmy.
They wouldn't have anything else to talk about.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, man, and you'd wake up lives. That's the best
he's gonna feel all day.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
I was thinking though, all this talk about snow though,
uh huh. People talk about so people in the socco
crazy and snow. And the old thing about him going
buying up all the bread and milk. We used to
have something. The big old tall boy in school, I'm sure,
Don Breig.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
We couldn't drink in school names.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
I think his name is Clyde Biggers. He was talking
about your size, tallest one in school. Every time it snow,
Joe Darton said, I hope it, I hope it snows
butt cheak deep to Clyde Biggers.
Speaker 11 (31:33):
I've always wondered where that expression came from.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Now we know, of course.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
In Concord. You didn't say but cheap deep right?
Speaker 20 (31:40):
Thank you for what?
Speaker 21 (31:42):
What?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
What did you say?
Speaker 12 (31:43):
Bob?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
That's up? I mean we're talking about Robert D.
Speaker 21 (31:49):
River.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I mean, do y'all realize what a treasure we have here?
Speaker 7 (31:52):
And this man? Don't get me to cry?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
And I know I don't. I won't joke you, but uh,
it's a real pleasure. We are going into a new year.
How many years have you been with us?
Speaker 6 (32:03):
Now?
Speaker 12 (32:03):
Right?
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Sixteen years? What was passion?
Speaker 10 (32:05):
November?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Sixteen years?
Speaker 7 (32:06):
Quick counting And a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Of people ask, you know, how in the world how'd
you find Rayford? What's the deal with Rayfert? Well, actually,
me and Billy was doing the show was on another station, right,
and uh, and we would make fun of Ravery because
he had a TV show.
Speaker 11 (32:20):
He had a TV talk show that was the closest
thing there's ever been to a radio show on TV.
He was sitting there at a desk like an anchorman
and just talking to people on the phone.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Went in a living room on the TV. You know,
blam comes on there as Ravers center man, people who's
smoker headiots?
Speaker 7 (32:35):
The first show? That was the first show.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Let's talk about it. So yeah, the lady what the
second of it is.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
I look around tuning in on the cable, and that's
about all you're seeing on the cable people doing the
same thing.
Speaker 11 (32:48):
Has you heard yourself talk lately?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
You know?
Speaker 5 (32:52):
The thing is, and I quit trying to be talking
like a radio announcer. I went through many, many years
trying to talk all the time like radio announcer, you know,
And now it just sort of broke down and said, heck,
I'm gonna be who I am.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
I'm all juiced up, broke down. That is pretty awesome,
pretty awesome. And you turned seventy five years old over
the Christmas holidays.
Speaker 7 (33:19):
We weren't here for your birthday.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
Teddy boys, that's a benchmark. I didn't think about it
too much. The thing is, I checked the obituary, call
them every day, make sure I see all of these
people dead. I was in school with oh man, I know,
see yeah, And I say, dad, blame.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You know.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
The light at the end of the tunnel gets a
little the smaller the aperture against a little smaller every day.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Well, I'll tell you what about that is this yours
are about? Yeah, that's up wherever you keep moving around
like you are. I can't believe a man your age
does all the stuff you do from a jumping down airplanes,
going cross country every year with Kyle Petty on the
on the charity ride. I mean, you are as long
do you keep doing stuff, Maybe you'll never get old.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
Yeah, that's what they say.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
But you feeling old?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Who was I?
Speaker 5 (34:05):
Oh the other day? What was it just yesterday? We
were talking about the David Brinkley and I was saying
to him on the show about how you're off of
the radio, you're off of the TV for a short time.
People's memories are very short. They're always saying, whatever happened
to so and so, Like John said, nothing happened to him.
Has always been that way. But you think about it
and you find out we haven't heard of David Brinkley.
(34:27):
Turned finds out he's out there in Jackson, Wyoming, which
by the way, we passed during the last year's ride,
and he's he's bedridden willow chair to have somebody to
look after him all the time. Man, and you wonder
about that. And I was mentioning two about old Sam Donaldson.
I used to work with Sam.
Speaker 7 (34:43):
Sam.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
You know, he's sort of out of out.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Hear he's starting to lose his hair, is that true?
That's the Lord, you know. Yeah, he's been coming about
the brow starting to break up, big.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
Windstorm of his head blowing the street. But Sam something
else worked with him a long time and was telling
about that when we went to the party for him
they had when he went with ABC and he left
w t op where we all work, and he said, Sam,
why why did you go with ABC? That's a dog network?
You held out you're gonna go on with CBA. Sam
huffed up and said, because they have so many incompetents
(35:13):
over there, and I know all rise to the top.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Well, what a coincidence? Same thing? Rayford said, all right,
I'll tell you what, buddy, you got a job as
long as you want it right here. People love you,
I hate you. That just perfect for us, all right, buddy.
Speaker 9 (35:30):
You know later on we're gonna rapers into some new stunt.
We're gonaut him in a shoping cart and run him
into the bushes jackets.
Speaker 7 (35:37):
Yeah, you'll have a job. Now, the description of it may.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Change a little bit.
Speaker 5 (35:41):
John Boy and Dillies and rayferd ain't no Kinko's good morning.
Speaker 12 (35:46):
We'd yell dumb rightod.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Morning, that's a big show on a radio. All right,
out of zoom turned on? Was foggy outside about oh
we ready? Alright, turn it off?
Speaker 11 (36:27):
Rane And now deep thoughts with Zach the weed Guy's
girlfriend Mary Jane.
Speaker 9 (36:36):
Oh yo yoah yo yo.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
What's up dude, dude? Oh yeah, I've got some allergies.
Speaker 21 (36:49):
I don't know what I could be allergic to. What's
crack oackon, y'all? Co I'm doing good, thank you so
much all. I've just been sitting around the house thinking
about stuff.
Speaker 9 (37:08):
You want to hear so much, ab.
Speaker 21 (37:12):
Did you ever think about it that, like, one minute
you're young and fun and the next you're turning down
the stairea on your car to see better. See it
happened to my mom all the time. I've been feeling
a little moody and run down lately, so I looked
(37:32):
up my symptoms and.
Speaker 9 (37:34):
Yep, I got it.
Speaker 21 (37:36):
It's adulthood. I have adulthood.
Speaker 5 (37:45):
Fixing it.
Speaker 21 (37:48):
At the age of sixty five, y'all. My grandma started
walking ten miles a day.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Not awesome.
Speaker 21 (37:55):
She's ninety two now. I have no idea where she's at.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
I'm not a club.
Speaker 21 (38:03):
Anybody suffered from insomniaes omnya is terrible.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
I do.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
On the plus side, only three more sleeps until Christmas.
Speaker 21 (38:15):
So I asked an elder at our club, even after
sixty years, you still call your wife darling, honey, Bridges,
speedy Pine.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
I was like, what is your secret? Old he said?
Speaker 9 (38:35):
He said he forgot her name.
Speaker 21 (38:37):
Ten years ago and he's scared to ask her now.
I don't know about you, but as an American, like,
I'm tired of people saying America is the stupidest country
in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest
country in the world.
Speaker 9 (38:59):
Okay, okay, hold.
Speaker 21 (39:07):
Oh, I see, maybe we are the dumbest people.
Speaker 9 (39:15):
You're Jackie.
Speaker 21 (39:19):
I received a text from Zach saying he was breaking
up with me. Imagine how relieved I was when he
texts later and said, sorry, wrong number, butt cheeks. I
was just wondering, like I was thinking, is butt cheeks
(39:40):
one word? Or should I spread them apart?
Speaker 9 (39:50):
I felt we all needed that break.
Speaker 21 (39:54):
Hey, do y'all have any extra disposable masks laying around
from the pandemic.
Speaker 9 (39:59):
Here's a tech I learned. You can use them to.
Speaker 21 (40:01):
Brew espresso because they're coffee filters.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Coffee filters.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Wow.
Speaker 21 (40:13):
My mom always said I have two major faults, like
a mom to say that. One is I don't listen
and something else. Okay, what more you do? And then
I gotta go because there's a.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Lot more of this.
Speaker 21 (40:30):
I need a new sixty dollars, maybe the no excuse
me sixty, maybe the new forty. You know, and you're
a but the one hundred dollars bill is the dude twenty. Okay,
so I messed that up.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Who goes?
Speaker 9 (40:54):
Look at the time, I.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Think I need to go.
Speaker 12 (40:56):
That's it for now.
Speaker 21 (40:57):
Okay, y'all keep rocking.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I'll keep thinking and you, oh, you.
Speaker 12 (41:00):
Know they're aster.
Speaker 11 (41:03):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hard Graves Potted
Meat Products. Because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
You got the Big Show on a radio. More chances
you to win coming up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 22 (41:20):
Good morning, Vicious Connery, Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star,
and you'd be right. What's my secret? The truth is
I can't stop my day without listening to the Big
Show with John Boy and Billy crush me. They're a
lot funnier than doctor Noan blofeld ooh ooh, ooh.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Good morning. It's a big share the radio. Monday, April seventh,
and as National Beer Day.
Speaker 7 (42:28):
Buddy Beer presents Real Men of Genius, Real Genius. A
salute to you, mister heterosexual male flight attendant.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Mister heterosexual male.
Speaker 7 (42:42):
Flo You're a rare bird, indeed, a straight shooter in
a world of tail gunners. And because you're curvaceous, coworkers
on the flight crew assume you're gay. They're not afraid
to let down their guard when you're around. Sometimes they'll
even change clothes right in front of.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
You, Jack blub Jack Bob.
Speaker 7 (43:03):
And because they don't perceive you as a threat, they'll
be more than happy to get totally schnockered in your company.
So pour a few ice cold Buddy Beers down their neck.
Once their defenses are down, you can surprise them with
a little first class upgrade. Before you know it, you're
in there like swimwear.
Speaker 21 (43:21):
Mister Hale's sexual malflight again.
Speaker 7 (43:24):
Buddy Brewing Company, Doltan, Alabama,
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
You got the big show on the radio, more chance
for you to win coming up after your news, weather
and sports.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Ut Mama, all I wanted to do was have a
let us sandwich on gluten bread, a tall glass of buttermilk,
and crawl under a bearskin rug. Why do I have
to listen to that John boy person and Billy whoever
on that noisy big shoe button, Mama.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I can do the new homing at them. It is Monday,
April the seventh, and you got a big show on
the radio. Things for kicking your work week off with
us kicking our work week off with you. See how
that words reciprocating. We're reciprocal. Let's see latest words that
(01:22):
I've learned keeping my eye on Washington A right impressed
about the national days, right quick? National note housework Day. Alright,
let's go ahead.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
That's today.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Lord, My wife calls it every day National Coffee cake Day.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
All right?
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Got that?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
And it's uh if I get to I know I'm complaining.
I always complain about the women days. You know you have,
like about it's only three hundred and sixty five days
in a year and.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
We get like fifteen six.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Let's talk about fifteen. Well, today is one of them. Okay,
I don't know this first or second, her third one
of the year. It's already April the seventh. And see
and not only is this another woman girl thing? They
make you say it the way this is named. You
have to say it like that. And I don't appreciate
(02:19):
me being manipulated like that. Here it is national girl,
me too? Today? Did I do it right? Yeah? But
it is all right? I mean, you know, read further.
It recognizes the strength and endurance of women of all ages.
(02:41):
As a lover of women of all ages can get
behind that. This is an opportunity for y'all to show
support within each other. Marcy and Jackie, I know y'all
support each other very well.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Girl too.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Outside let me know. I would like to see that.
Is he on your nerves?
Speaker 6 (03:03):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Me too?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
All right?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
And is national? And I saved the best for last
beer Day.
Speaker 7 (03:12):
We'll be back in a minute with morning excitement.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Right after this word.
Speaker 8 (03:16):
Here beer there we will be celebrating on Monday morning
along National Beer Day.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
We're gonna get away and go to your job or
some jumble billing Late Risers podcast after the broadcast, Good
morning big shows on a radio. I got a pretty
good day idea of what's going on to tell you
what a good morning Big shows on a radio. First
prize pack today. LS Tractor Prize Package include some cool
(03:53):
swag like a hat, some stainless steel insulated tumbler action,
a nice key chain. You go to LS Tractor USA
the day, find your local dealer, learn why customers start
blue and stay blue. Got the banner at the Big
Show dot com. You know how we do it. Three
days in history. We're gonna have three categories. Set you up.
It was nineteen o two the Texas Fuel Company was found.
(04:15):
It's just outside Beaumont. Texas later became known as Texico
is now owned by Shell follow the oil nineteen eighty seven,
President Ronald Reagan was worried the US Embassy in Moscow
was bugged, so he ordered an investigation and even suggested
tearing down the entire building. Of course, one of our
(04:38):
buddy Terry Hansen stories when him and Bob Neil was
sitting down there for Ted Turner to get the Cuban
All Star Game Baseball hoarded to a baseball game in Cuban.
They knew the hotel where they put him was bugged,
so they acted like spies. Almost got killed. That's a
(04:59):
great way to go. What that was a good idea?
Oh hey, these guys will love this.
Speaker 9 (05:06):
What all right? You're going to kill Castro?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Right? Oh finally, oh two police and Moss Norway captured
an assault suspect trying to escape naked on a single
roll a single roller skate. Okay, we got the visual
game man had allegedly attacked a woman who was delivering
his newspaper. I said the man was angry cause of
the number of advertising flyers that came with his paper,
(05:33):
though not hurt seriously, she said it was a little scary.
I pay for this paper? Why are the advertisements at it?
Speaker 10 (05:39):
Write this down?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Okay?
Speaker 10 (05:41):
Naked with just a one roller skate, right, that would
make a great Halloween costume.
Speaker 9 (05:47):
That toy.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
What y'all got, I mean knows, I don't want to
know what y'all got. That's our three categories. We're getting
ready to play out birds. So one eight hundred big
shows you told free Line, Come on, we'll do it
next Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Monday,
(06:31):
April seven. Of our feature track for the Big Show,
bit box is an ax like the ugly prom date, Sir,
tricky words, ugly date at the big show dot coming
now a wait's words upburst? Let's play upburst.
Speaker 11 (06:49):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Shon, boy and Bully give the prizes from the big
prize be Let's go contested.
Speaker 11 (07:00):
Number one should really be a lot of fun.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
You're playing up the tattle Mary up.
Speaker 7 (07:08):
And guess time you love the best time you love
a big shots.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
To Jerry from Clamberton, North Carolina. Shot morning, j Don't
that make you want to get up and run towards it?
Speaker 12 (07:35):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yes, there you are all right, buddy, welcome in here, Jerry.
Let's get you do these three categories and get you
the prize pack. You ready to go?
Speaker 13 (07:44):
All right, let's do it.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Three gas stations or companies in five seconds. Ready go.
Speaker 13 (07:52):
Vp X, seme and shell bam.
Speaker 7 (07:57):
Now.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Three things that can be bugged? Ready go.
Speaker 13 (08:03):
Your phone, your office, in your car.
Speaker 7 (08:07):
For the win.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Three things that are delivered, Ready to go.
Speaker 13 (08:13):
Mail, piets, newspapers, Yeah, out of clever winning.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Now let's try a price pappage. Joy glad you want buddy,
appreciate you listening. I'm glad you played, and I'm just
tickled with it.
Speaker 13 (08:30):
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
You sure can.
Speaker 13 (08:32):
I'd like to give a shout out to my wife.
We've been married for forty three years on Saint Patrick's
Day this year and uh still going strong.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
All right, that's awesome if you were going there, Joe,
congratulations that by proud to have y'all listening. You hang on,
Jack can try to break up all right? Bottom of
they wearing taboo news. Got ready for Robert Earl ken
(09:04):
swearing on our Monday Morning we had to sing along
to be Born m Good morning Big shows.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
On the radio.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
We got a lot of faves at the Great State
of Texas. One of them is Robert Earl Keane Monday
Morning song as done by Robert Earl Keane is being
lying in.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
A bet sho.
Speaker 14 (09:58):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. Come on, Jack
and get ready to say sometimes on my days are
filled with and ride.
Speaker 15 (10:12):
As I traveled, I left some bad things ain't going
my way because there's always someone swirming in my life.
Speaker 14 (10:27):
To keep swirming in my life, and it's causing lots
of thinginger.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
I'm shooting you the phone.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Keep switching on my bride lives. It's just too.
Speaker 6 (10:47):
Him when you're swerving.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
All lives pie by, you're running someone off the road?
Day Oh why I thought I.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
Never never could belive another.
Speaker 15 (11:08):
How else could I feed?
Speaker 2 (11:13):
But bowing you run into me.
Speaker 6 (11:17):
I can't believe I could not see her all tank up.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
The ones at the waiting.
Speaker 14 (11:27):
You keep swimming in my life, just causing lots of bangs.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting in the fight.
Speaker 15 (11:42):
I keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
But you're just too dimpty now.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
When you're swerving all lights?
Speaker 6 (11:52):
How why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
A big show, Good morning, Big Shows on a radio, Monday,
(12:32):
April seven, five.
Speaker 16 (12:37):
Action, Hello friends, your old pal Burn Fern here with
another Moeller chattering edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Today's episode the Funeral. As our story opens, two old
friends meet at a funeral.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Wasn't that a lovely funeral?
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Hey, hello, Megan, what's been a long time? Well, it
sure has tom us.
Speaker 9 (13:03):
It's father Tom, now father Tom?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
Well?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
Does this mean you finally stop selling pop to the
college kids?
Speaker 16 (13:09):
Out just on the weekends? Now church doesn't pay much
and I need to make ends. So what have you
been up to?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Well, I'm a mortician. In fact, I took care of Denise.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Really wow, she looks great.
Speaker 9 (13:20):
You do nice work.
Speaker 16 (13:22):
Almost didn't recognize her without all her usual trashy makeup.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Yeah, it was really on there.
Speaker 9 (13:27):
How'd you get it off a pressure washer?
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Hey, it's not like she's gonna feel it, right, I.
Speaker 16 (13:32):
Mean, so what was her story? I mean I kind
of lost track of her after high school.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
Not a happy tale. Unfortunately. She was married seven or
eight times, had a total of twenty three kids.
Speaker 16 (13:43):
These three kids, geez, get a new hobby, right, And.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
In between that, she was pretty much jumping from hookup
to hookup.
Speaker 9 (13:50):
Wow, just like in high school. She sure did love
the boys.
Speaker 4 (13:54):
Not just the boys, no way.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Really, well, how did you know that? Oh?
Speaker 4 (14:01):
Yeah, we were in college. It was a little fair.
Speaker 9 (14:04):
It was a whole thing. I don't need to know anymore.
It's kind of hot.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Though, you know.
Speaker 4 (14:09):
Her last husband was Deke Milford, your best friend from
senior year, right, Wow?
Speaker 9 (14:14):
Whatever happen to him?
Speaker 4 (14:15):
Died from some rare venereal disease. She had to clap
so much her nickname was applause.
Speaker 9 (14:21):
Niece was a walking movie of the week, wasn't she?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
You said it?
Speaker 9 (14:25):
Well, at least they're together at last.
Speaker 4 (14:28):
Which husband are you talking about?
Speaker 9 (14:30):
Not talking about her husband, I'm talking about her legs.
Speaker 16 (14:32):
So we hope you enjoy John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Oh and you left those top.
Speaker 9 (14:45):
Two buttons undone for old time sake.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Thank you.
Speaker 16 (14:49):
Tune in next time when we'll hear Denise's friend at
the Free Clinics say.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning
everybody of my Big Show family you thank you for listening,
your listen news. What a sports coming up?
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Hello?
Speaker 9 (15:07):
Listen, Ricky Bay sharp brother?
Speaker 17 (15:09):
Oh how about you pot lickers? Are listening to a
couple other pot liquors noted John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. You know, I just a guest star
on the Playhouse and the official mascot from mister populist
Pizza Runt.
Speaker 9 (15:26):
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
Speaker 18 (15:28):
But this note from John Boy keep it short.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Good morning, it's a Big Show on the radio. Over
to you Monday morning, brand you John Boy. Wonderful thing
is up at the Big Show dot com m A
A number one hundred and thirty eight, Tons of Fun
for Youngsters. The Talking Record for Boys narrated by Missus
Rosemary Rice on twelve inch final You have a shy
(16:31):
young man, might bring him out of his shell. This
record actually engages to child and conversation, exciting question an
answer game. I deal for all preschool children and first graders.
You sinsy, you don't everything as a record player? Yeah right.
Speaker 10 (16:54):
That same lady also did one for girls, and I
actually have a little snip of it.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Let's hear that one, all right?
Speaker 19 (17:01):
Do you know who I am? I'm rosemar You're talking
record friends, and I belong just to you. I'm always
here waiting to talk to you whenever you want to
play our special game together, just you and me. Would
you like to start right now?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
This may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. You've
got a child so lonely they have to talk to
a record player. What kind of parent are you? Well,
don't spoiler, because I found that record too. The Talking
Record for Girls is my next wonderful thing. All right,
all right, you ahead, luck there Fada? How old is Miranda?
Speaker 9 (17:39):
Thirty four?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Let's worry about what we got up right here. We'll
give it away the beginning of the final hour with
the Big Show this Friday at the end of our work. Well,
check it out at Big Show dot com. Good morning,
I got the Big Show on the radio. Coming up,
we play John Boy Jeppard Ay for an assortment of
swag from World Lawnmowers are the best value zero turn
mowers on the market, features a three year unlimited hours warning,
(18:05):
Cawasaki Engines, heavy duty steel decks, Mowey Landscaping's best kept
secret World lawn Gold on the link at the Big
Show dot Com. Before we get to that, man, I
got this Pluto TV. I was telling Jackie about where
they got the Andy Griffith channel, like twenty four hours
a day. It's like Andy Griffiths and it's like a
free streaming deal. Y'all might want to look into it.
(18:26):
It's Pluto and The Rockford Files come on around lunchtime
every day. Another few episodes. Oh that is just one
of my favorite shows. Like I remember it's just in
Radio m and this other boy I worked with old
David Hendley. We love the Rockerd Files. Yeah, anyway, is
(18:47):
a good show.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Oh awesome, three or four and I had a crush.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
He was a good man, James Garner. He would have
been ninety eight years old today, Ain't that something? My
name was James Scott Bumgarner besta remember Forest Rollers, Jim
Rockford on the Rockford Files that was nineteen seventy four
to nineteen eighty. Wow, but that man, and more recently
it was a TV show Eight Simple Rules for Dating
(19:14):
my teenage daughter. I remember that show man I did
not done. Never connect it on that and to seeing him.
I always loved him in his westerns and he was
bat Masters, the he was Maverick and the old time
Western shows. But so anyway, Garner said, in fact, he
did all his own stunts a bat. He killed me
(19:36):
when Rockford Files, Oh you could see him limp and
he was heard.
Speaker 10 (19:39):
He was injured a number of times. I remember it
coming out in tabloids as indeed.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
But uh, he had the deal there for eight simple
rules for dating my teenage daughter. And of course our
man Mad Max takes it to the next level. All right,
this phone called Morning Big Show, John baron Belly, Oh,
Mad Max? Where is why you think? It's prom season?
(20:04):
And my daughter is of dating age?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Now, all you men out there that has got daughters
that are entering that age.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Feel free to use these and find I'm gonna use
you idiots for something other than my amusement. For any
future punks that might be wanting to date my daughter,
I want you to listen up. These are mad Max's
ten rules for dating my daughter. Rule one, if you
(20:32):
pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering
a package, because you sure ain't picking anything up.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Rule two.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
You do not touch my daughter in front of me.
You may glance at her so long as you do
not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot
keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I will remove them. Three.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys
of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that
they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't
take this as an insult, but you and all of
your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be
fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose
(21:23):
this compromise. You may come to the door with your
underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and
I will not object.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
However, in order to ensure that your.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Clothes do not, in fact come off during the course
of your date with my daughter. I will take my
electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place
to your ways.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Rule four.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex
without utilizing a barrier method of some.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Kind can kill you. Elaborate when it comes to sex.
I am the barrier. I will kill you. Rule five.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
It is usually understood that in order for us to
get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics,
and other issues.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Of the day. Please do not do this.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
The only information I require from you is an indication
of when you expect to have my daughter safely back
at my house, and the only word I need from
you on this subject is early.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Are you following me? Rule six.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow with
many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with
me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise,
once you have gone out with my little girl, you
will continue to date no one but her until she
is finished with you. If you make her cry, I
(22:56):
will make you cry as you stand in my front
hallway waiting for my daughter to appear. And more than
an hour goes by.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be
on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that
can take longer than painting the golden gate bridge. Instead
of just standing there, why don't you do something useful,
like changing the oil in my car? Rule number eight.
The following places are not appropriate for a date with
my daughter. Places where there are beds sofas are anything
(23:35):
softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents.
Policemen are nuns with an eyesight. Places where there is darkness,
Places where there is dancing, holding hands are happiness. Places
worthy ambia. Temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter
to wear shorts, tank tops, mindry of T shirts are
(23:57):
anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down
partner zipped up door throw. Movies with a strong romantic
or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies which features
documentaries are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes
are better. Rule nine, do not lie to me. I
(24:19):
may appear to be a pot bellied bald in middle
aged dim when it.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Has been but on issues relating to my daughter.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
I'm the all knowing, merciless God of your universe. If
I ask you where you are going and with whom,
you have one chance to tell me the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun,
a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not
trifle with me. We're at rule number ten.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Now. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
It takes very little for me to mistake the sound
of your car and the driveway for a chopper coming
in over a rice patty near hanoid.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
When my Jennari.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell
me to clean the guns.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
As I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
As soon as you pull into the driveway, you should
exit your car with both hands and plain sight, speak
the perimeter password, and announce in a clear voice that
you have brought my daughter home safely and early. Then
return to your car. There is no need for you
to come inside. The camouflage face at the window is mine. Aye,
(25:30):
little bunks, did you get that?
Speaker 12 (25:33):
Bye?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I hope all who plan to date.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
My daughter are other daughters of any fathers that may
be within earshot of the big show to.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Heed these rules. Thank you, no problem, guys, figure I'd
help you out.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Y'all shut up, quit runing my life, John Boy and
Billy Yeah, happy promise, Saeson, you'n't have a nice day,
John Boyd Jeopardy. Let's just jump right in here. Men
are nearly nine times more likely to be bitten by
one of these than women. Oh what is a chipmunk?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Am? I right? Randy?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Not a chip bug? What y'all got one? Eight hundred?
Big Show you told free line across America. We played
John Boyd Jeopardy. Next, Good morning, it's a big Shaw
(26:52):
on the radio. Wrote until your Monday I featured track
from the Big Show. Big Box is an axe like
the ugly prom day search for key words up to
mid day. You'll a bit boxing to make sure dot
Tommy right now, let's play Yes live across America.
Speaker 10 (27:08):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now your host speaking of
nine times attention Miss Wade Graham High School.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Here he sits yet another day, still doesn't know his
nines table. He's done, boy, thank you. Let's say had
Ron out of Stanton, Virginia. Good morning Ron, Good.
Speaker 20 (27:31):
Morning fellas and ladies. How's everybody doing today.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Ye, now we are awesome. Man, welcome in here.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Ron.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
You got first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning.
So uh, let's see what you got there. You are
a man, and men are nearly nine times more likely
to be bitten by one of these than women.
Speaker 7 (27:51):
What do you think?
Speaker 20 (27:53):
All right, hold on, let me get you.
Speaker 7 (27:54):
Okay, we we were just at the beach.
Speaker 20 (27:56):
We just visited Virginia beach. I didn't get into because
I'm afraid of these animals, whatever you call them. I
think it's a shark, a shark.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
You think it's a shark, a great white stark. Let's
see just in that shark category. Well, oh yeah, I
think you like, you're more likely to be struck by
lightning than you are to be bitten by a shark.
(28:27):
So just go in during thunderstorms and get in the ocean. Man,
That's what I do.
Speaker 20 (28:31):
I'm good boy, I'm good. I'm the first. Hey, I'm
a first time caller. I want to give a shout
out to all my my stopbox derby family, especially.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
All the world champions.
Speaker 20 (28:42):
My son's a world champion, so shout out to all
the soapbox derby racers out there. But anyway, thank you all.
Appreciate you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Some wrongratulations buddy, that's a cool deal right there.
Speaker 20 (28:53):
Appreciate you John, all right, y'all thanks a lot.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
All right, buddy, you hang on, Jack can hook you up.
Wondhibouy hour and tell me your news. Riding on the
on the side, crack over up time capsule for a
money mon alight.
Speaker 12 (29:44):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
John Boy, Billy Pillars, Randy Jackie and Wow, what luck
joining us for yugging up time? Robert D. Rayford Rayford,
I know I was wondering for that old man smell
was coming from. I know Raverd he gets out, you know,
the first one. He's always listening to yug it Up Time.
And I know he's talking back to the radio. You know,
(30:20):
he is riding down left hand lane, blinker on.
Speaker 11 (30:24):
He talked back to the radio when the radio is
not even on.
Speaker 21 (30:29):
Here.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
You are Ravered with us Friday morning, yug it Up Time.
What's on your mind? Is they just like yuck it
up stuff up there?
Speaker 5 (30:36):
You know, like I say, don't do and yuck it
up time. It's sort of vamp till you're ready. You know,
you get in here, you don't have anything particularly plan
and getting sort of go to juiced up and ready
to go, and you adrenaline flowing all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
You hurting juice uff.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
See you hurt a little bit.
Speaker 12 (30:51):
Listen.
Speaker 5 (30:51):
I'd quit drinking if but I'm scared that spoil the emmy.
They wouldn't have anything else to talk about.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, man, and you'd wake up lives. That's the best
he's gonna feel all day.
Speaker 5 (31:04):
I was thinking though, all this talk about snow though,
uh huh. People talk about so people in the socco
crazy and snow. And the old thing about him going
buying up all the bread and milk. We used to
have something. The big old tall boy in school, I'm sure,
Don Breig.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
We couldn't drink in school names.
Speaker 5 (31:22):
I think his name is Clyde Biggers. He was talking
about your size, tallest one in school. Every time it snow,
Joe Darton said, I hope it, I hope it snows
butt cheak deep to Clyde Biggers.
Speaker 11 (31:33):
I've always wondered where that expression came from.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
Now we know, of course.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
In Concord. You didn't say but cheap deep right?
Speaker 20 (31:40):
Thank you for what?
Speaker 21 (31:42):
What?
Speaker 2 (31:43):
What did you say?
Speaker 12 (31:43):
Bob?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
That's up? I mean we're talking about Robert D.
Speaker 21 (31:49):
River.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
I mean, do y'all realize what a treasure we have here?
Speaker 7 (31:52):
And this man? Don't get me to cry?
Speaker 2 (31:55):
And I know I don't. I won't joke you, but uh,
it's a real pleasure. We are going into a new year.
How many years have you been with us?
Speaker 6 (32:03):
Now?
Speaker 12 (32:03):
Right?
Speaker 5 (32:03):
Sixteen years? What was passion?
Speaker 10 (32:05):
November?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Sixteen years?
Speaker 7 (32:06):
Quick counting And a lot.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
Of people ask, you know, how in the world how'd
you find Rayford? What's the deal with Rayfert? Well, actually,
me and Billy was doing the show was on another station, right,
and uh, and we would make fun of Ravery because
he had a TV show.
Speaker 11 (32:20):
He had a TV talk show that was the closest
thing there's ever been to a radio show on TV.
He was sitting there at a desk like an anchorman
and just talking to people on the phone.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Went in a living room on the TV. You know,
blam comes on there as Ravers center man, people who's
smoker headiots?
Speaker 7 (32:35):
The first show? That was the first show.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Let's talk about it. So yeah, the lady what the
second of it is.
Speaker 5 (32:43):
I look around tuning in on the cable, and that's
about all you're seeing on the cable people doing the
same thing.
Speaker 11 (32:48):
Has you heard yourself talk lately?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
You know?
Speaker 5 (32:52):
The thing is, and I quit trying to be talking
like a radio announcer. I went through many, many years
trying to talk all the time like radio announcer, you know,
And now it just sort of broke down and said, heck,
I'm gonna be who I am.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
I'm all juiced up, broke down. That is pretty awesome,
pretty awesome. And you turned seventy five years old over
the Christmas holidays.
Speaker 7 (33:19):
We weren't here for your birthday.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
Teddy boys, that's a benchmark. I didn't think about it
too much. The thing is, I checked the obituary, call
them every day, make sure I see all of these
people dead. I was in school with oh man, I know,
see yeah, And I say, dad, blame.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
You know.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
The light at the end of the tunnel gets a
little the smaller the aperture against a little smaller every day.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Well, I'll tell you what about that is this yours
are about? Yeah, that's up wherever you keep moving around
like you are. I can't believe a man your age
does all the stuff you do from a jumping down airplanes,
going cross country every year with Kyle Petty on the
on the charity ride. I mean, you are as long
do you keep doing stuff, Maybe you'll never get old.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
Yeah, that's what they say.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
But you feeling old?
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Who was I?
Speaker 5 (34:05):
Oh the other day? What was it just yesterday? We
were talking about the David Brinkley and I was saying
to him on the show about how you're off of
the radio, you're off of the TV for a short time.
People's memories are very short. They're always saying, whatever happened
to so and so, Like John said, nothing happened to him.
Has always been that way. But you think about it
and you find out we haven't heard of David Brinkley.
(34:27):
Turned finds out he's out there in Jackson, Wyoming, which
by the way, we passed during the last year's ride,
and he's he's bedridden willow chair to have somebody to
look after him all the time. Man, and you wonder
about that. And I was mentioning two about old Sam Donaldson.
I used to work with Sam.
Speaker 7 (34:43):
Sam.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
You know, he's sort of out of out.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Hear he's starting to lose his hair, is that true?
That's the Lord, you know. Yeah, he's been coming about
the brow starting to break up, big.
Speaker 5 (34:53):
Windstorm of his head blowing the street. But Sam something
else worked with him a long time and was telling
about that when we went to the party for him
they had when he went with ABC and he left
w t op where we all work, and he said, Sam,
why why did you go with ABC? That's a dog network?
You held out you're gonna go on with CBA. Sam
huffed up and said, because they have so many incompetents
(35:13):
over there, and I know all rise to the top.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Well, what a coincidence? Same thing? Rayford said, all right,
I'll tell you what, buddy, you got a job as
long as you want it right here. People love you,
I hate you. That just perfect for us, all right, buddy.
Speaker 9 (35:30):
You know later on we're gonna rapers into some new stunt.
We're gonaut him in a shoping cart and run him
into the bushes jackets.
Speaker 7 (35:37):
Yeah, you'll have a job. Now, the description of it may.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Change a little bit.
Speaker 5 (35:41):
John Boy and Dillies and rayferd ain't no Kinko's good morning.
Speaker 12 (35:46):
We'd yell dumb rightod.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Morning, that's a big show on a radio. All right,
out of zoom turned on? Was foggy outside about oh
we ready? Alright, turn it off?
Speaker 11 (36:27):
Rane And now deep thoughts with Zach the weed Guy's
girlfriend Mary Jane.
Speaker 9 (36:36):
Oh yo yoah yo yo.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
What's up dude, dude? Oh yeah, I've got some allergies.
Speaker 21 (36:49):
I don't know what I could be allergic to. What's
crack oackon, y'all? Co I'm doing good, thank you so
much all. I've just been sitting around the house thinking
about stuff.
Speaker 9 (37:08):
You want to hear so much, ab.
Speaker 21 (37:12):
Did you ever think about it that, like, one minute
you're young and fun and the next you're turning down
the stairea on your car to see better. See it
happened to my mom all the time. I've been feeling
a little moody and run down lately, so I looked
(37:32):
up my symptoms and.
Speaker 9 (37:34):
Yep, I got it.
Speaker 21 (37:36):
It's adulthood. I have adulthood.
Speaker 5 (37:45):
Fixing it.
Speaker 21 (37:48):
At the age of sixty five, y'all. My grandma started
walking ten miles a day.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Not awesome.
Speaker 21 (37:55):
She's ninety two now. I have no idea where she's at.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
I'm not a club.
Speaker 21 (38:03):
Anybody suffered from insomniaes omnya is terrible.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
I do.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
On the plus side, only three more sleeps until Christmas.
Speaker 21 (38:15):
So I asked an elder at our club, even after
sixty years, you still call your wife darling, honey, Bridges,
speedy Pine.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
I was like, what is your secret? Old he said?
Speaker 9 (38:35):
He said he forgot her name.
Speaker 21 (38:37):
Ten years ago and he's scared to ask her now.
I don't know about you, but as an American, like,
I'm tired of people saying America is the stupidest country
in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest
country in the world.
Speaker 9 (38:59):
Okay, okay, hold.
Speaker 21 (39:07):
Oh, I see, maybe we are the dumbest people.
Speaker 9 (39:15):
You're Jackie.
Speaker 21 (39:19):
I received a text from Zach saying he was breaking
up with me. Imagine how relieved I was when he
texts later and said, sorry, wrong number, butt cheeks. I
was just wondering, like I was thinking, is butt cheeks
(39:40):
one word? Or should I spread them apart?
Speaker 9 (39:50):
I felt we all needed that break.
Speaker 21 (39:54):
Hey, do y'all have any extra disposable masks laying around
from the pandemic.
Speaker 9 (39:59):
Here's a tech I learned. You can use them to.
Speaker 21 (40:01):
Brew espresso because they're coffee filters.
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Coffee filters.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Wow.
Speaker 21 (40:13):
My mom always said I have two major faults, like
a mom to say that. One is I don't listen
and something else. Okay, what more you do? And then
I gotta go because there's a.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Lot more of this.
Speaker 21 (40:30):
I need a new sixty dollars, maybe the no excuse
me sixty, maybe the new forty. You know, and you're
a but the one hundred dollars bill is the dude twenty. Okay,
so I messed that up.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Who goes?
Speaker 9 (40:54):
Look at the time, I.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Think I need to go.
Speaker 12 (40:56):
That's it for now.
Speaker 21 (40:57):
Okay, y'all keep rocking.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I'll keep thinking and you, oh, you.
Speaker 12 (41:00):
Know they're aster.
Speaker 11 (41:03):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hard Graves Potted
Meat Products. Because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
You got the Big Show on a radio. More chances
you to win coming up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 22 (41:20):
Good morning, Vicious Connery, Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star,
and you'd be right. What's my secret? The truth is
I can't stop my day without listening to the Big
Show with John Boy and Billy crush me. They're a
lot funnier than doctor Noan blofeld ooh ooh, ooh.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Good morning. It's a big share the radio. Monday, April seventh,
and as National Beer Day.
Speaker 7 (42:28):
Buddy Beer presents Real Men of Genius, Real Genius. A
salute to you, mister heterosexual male flight attendant.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Mister heterosexual male.
Speaker 7 (42:42):
Flo You're a rare bird, indeed, a straight shooter in
a world of tail gunners. And because you're curvaceous, coworkers
on the flight crew assume you're gay. They're not afraid
to let down their guard when you're around. Sometimes they'll
even change clothes right in front of.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
You, Jack blub Jack Bob.
Speaker 7 (43:03):
And because they don't perceive you as a threat, they'll
be more than happy to get totally schnockered in your company.
So pour a few ice cold Buddy Beers down their neck.
Once their defenses are down, you can surprise them with
a little first class upgrade. Before you know it, you're
in there like swimwear.
Speaker 21 (43:21):
Mister Hale's sexual malflight again.
Speaker 7 (43:24):
Buddy Brewing Company, Doltan, Alabama,
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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