September 8, 2025 • 40 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we celebrate the return of the football season with some of our favorite football themed bits - like Ricky Tidwell’s Mama - the Backyard Bowl and Andy Griffith’s “What It Was Was Football”.. - Mr. Rhubarb gives us an in depth look at the differences between California and Wyoming.. - Terry Hanson pops out of a gopher hole and tells us about the time he pulled off a P.R. coup with a former Iranian hostage.. - The folks at One Star Steakhouse have a new ad campaign.. - and Carl and Melinda invite everyone to their new Country Day Spa…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
That money, y'all, Big Show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hello a you perky early risers. Here's just the thing
to wake you up and get your blood pumping, the
John Boy and Billy Big Show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the walls just like me.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Ooh whah, ooh uh oh see what I mean?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Thank my guy, contact Jackie Monday. All right.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
I love it sounds like somebody's got a case of.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
The I think they're great.
Speaker 6 (01:30):
They feel like a new beginning, a new start and
begin to start over and start and get everything and
get together, and you can have new coffee and new friends.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
And places in new clothes. It's so fantastic.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
That isn't just the best.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Blowing out your.
Speaker 7 (01:44):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Well, if I could raise it over at you just
wait it out.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Wake up?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, catch me.
Speaker 8 (02:03):
Well, it is Monday morning, y'all, September the eight, So
let's go and jump in here. Man, we're gonna celebrate
football today. We were celebrating Friday.
Speaker 7 (02:13):
Going in.
Speaker 8 (02:14):
We'll add up our sore and some dead and we
got Minnesota Vigers Chicago Bears playing tonight on Monday night football. Listen,
finish our jobs. Catch a nap.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I didn't watched enough football your man. All right, maybe
these new shoes? Yeah, so National Day is right? Quick?
Wait hey, Star Trek Day. I can't believe my ears. Captain,
we can't believe years. HEYI the misters ball. Do you
(02:50):
know who we have to thank for Star Trek? No,
dasy aren't is Ricky?
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
All right, Lucy's husband Ricky? Yes, yes, mister TV. Just
about every TV series that was a big hit in
the sixties, Daisi arnt is? That was wow? Yep?
Speaker 8 (03:09):
Okay, I thought Gene Roddenberry with the whole, the whole creator,
But Daisi aren't is?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
He was the you know, the executive producer. Oh whoa, well.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
That's helpful, Brandy.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
All right, so we can move on.
Speaker 8 (03:26):
You hung out all weekend, Good morning, big shows on
the radio. Let's get our first prize pack out, shall we?
As a blue em you prize pack that's in the start.
Until I cleared my throat, including two jars of I
turned my micros off, y'all didn't even know I did
(03:48):
you know?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
You were going home? Don't tell me. I'm about reading.
Speaker 8 (03:53):
Good Blue Amy nongraez or leave whatever panging Blue Amy
worse fast won't make you stink has some good stuff.
I would singing the praises of the pbcotc Itchylief Cream.
I seem to pick up a lot of bites over
the weekend, and this stuff is unbelievable. His prescription strength
itch relief from everything that makes you itch during the
(04:13):
summertime even into the fall. Its available in stores and
online of Walmart, Amazon, other finerytailers. So let's give you
three days in history where we get our categories so
you can win you some. Fifteen sixty five, it was
Don pedroman Indez d Alvez of Spain landed in Florida
(04:39):
and established the first permanent settlement of Europeans in North America,
eventually to be called Saint Augustine.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
We just said that up front, little time.
Speaker 8 (04:52):
Nineteen thirty, Richard Drew developed Scotch tape.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Go Richard, right, we needed it. Thank you. Three. The
Recording Industry Association of America filed two hundred and sixty
one copyright lawsuits across the country against Internet users for
trading songs online. Yeah you remember when that was. I'm
sure you do. You've been right in there. Yeah, I
believe it says two thousand and three right here on
(05:18):
that fact.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
Sheet that you just read from Always Getting Smart.
Speaker 8 (05:22):
If I'd have been paying attention, I don't know what
he was getty smart about me.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
For me, it was right there, all right, that it
was good.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
I don't have to know as perfect as Monday is
turning around right here. But right now, let's get us
a contestant at one eight hundred Big Show and see
if we can get to winning beginning. Come on on
play out Birds next, Good morning, there's a Big show
(06:12):
on the radio. I'm glad we meet like this on
Monday mornings. Mature Tracking the Big Show, bid Box, Carl
and Melenda's Country Day Spa, Keywords day Spa.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
It sounds like a good idea. See what y'all was
like in the mid box at the Bigshow dot com
Keywords Day Spy.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Uppers. Let's play uppers.
Speaker 9 (06:40):
It's the game that anyone can win, John Boy and
really give.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
You puzzes from the big prize. Be let's go contested
number one.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
This should really be a lot of funs.
Speaker 10 (06:56):
Your playing uppers, have a mony up a guest, and
you have the best time.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
You have a big shot.
Speaker 11 (07:04):
Let's say heya, Martin from America Georgia. We have shot.
Speaker 8 (07:18):
Good morning Martin, this morning, man, we are all some
welcome in here monsters.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
As see.
Speaker 8 (07:26):
We can get that prize pack headed down. Tell you
Martin got three categories for you to get through.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You ready to go?
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I'm ready all right?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Then five seconds. Three cities that you would visit in Florida.
Speaker 8 (07:38):
Ready go, Saint Augustine, Miami and Dayton.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Bam.
Speaker 8 (07:46):
Now we need three kinds of tapes. Ready to go,
A masking, dot and duck, big gooding.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So now Martin, three places you can hear music on
the internet. Ready to go?
Speaker 9 (08:06):
Fivey five, Amazon and Pandoras.
Speaker 8 (08:10):
Oh look at you way, don't work at Martin entire
blue even you prize pack. Head down to America's. You
got any itches, hold on to them right quick, I
mean all right, glad to say TV. All right, hold
on buddy the jackie, get you info, my man?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Thank you?
Speaker 8 (08:37):
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Don't you get eye of football on Monday?
Speaker 8 (08:41):
Going with the direct Tim was a record ted wells, Mama,
hold on on a side of this report. Good morning.
(09:22):
That's a big shaw on the radio. I always played
this too. First ever football season, The late great Tim
Wilson brings back members man Graham High School, my High School, Graham,
North Carolina, Red Double, my cousin VIC. When it is
doing play by play, what would always play Ricky ted
(09:42):
Wells mama before every game.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It's like a good luck charge. No Way, that's my hometown.
Speaker 8 (09:51):
Maybe it'll bring you some luggas football season.
Speaker 12 (09:54):
Let's did Ricky didn't Wayhole was a great athlete, was
a big, strong boy that was quick on his feet.
In every college in the country wanted Ricky on their line.
But when the scouts come knocking Old Rickey's door, they
didn't want to talk to young rick no more. When
they saw his mama, She's the one they wanted to sign.
(10:15):
She was a roll boned woman raised on a farm,
had bear bright tattooed on her forearms. She was manering
hell and running forty and four point three, and she
could squat six hundred bitch press five. The Hen's down.
Me and a homemaker alive, got a scholarship playing line
like her at ten to see Rickey ted Wells, Mama's
(10:37):
gonna play football. Her real name's Doris, but they gonna
call her too tall. She got shoulders and a hind
end four foot wide, gone to college on a poor ride.
Doris tied Well's gonna play and the.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
M see double.
Speaker 12 (10:58):
She wash all her team makes you homs, tucked everybody
in in the football dorm, cut the game meal, set
the lord's pair. You're missing the jump strap. She's got
a spare. Crawl in the huddle and call all the
plays only one tough enough to go both ways. Get
a mouth full of mud, scarred at knees, cussing out
the coaches, spitting on referees.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Ricky did Wells.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Mama's gonna play football.
Speaker 12 (11:24):
Her own named Doris. Everybody calls her too tall. They
say she's a fine young man, but she's really not.
Ricky's mama was the master of the cheap shine and
on a triple option play she could ruin your day.
She let the team and tackles in the league in sacks,
(11:44):
responsible for killing nine quarterbacks. But the school's reputation was destroyed.
They accuged Ricky's mama of steroids. Ricky did weals mama's
own probation, and now Alabam Tennessee is under their twelfth investigation. Yeah,
(12:05):
they wouldn't leave poor ricketted Wells mama alone. She's been
taking mail hormones. Doris ted Whales. Gonna be help in
the veil, ricketed Wales.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Mama, Very.
Speaker 8 (12:53):
Good, Monday morning, Big Show's on the radio. Hard Ready
bird Action.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
Hello friends, your old pal Burt Fern here with another
tail wagging edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode All Bark all Night. As our story opens, Ricky
b Sharp and his wife Lucy are trying to sleep
at their home in Dothan, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Ah, wrecky, what are we gonna do?
Speaker 6 (13:25):
That dog's been barking since the Subwe d old.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
It's that new neighbor, cherry Picker. I knowed.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I should have bought that house, and no more losers
than move in next door.
Speaker 6 (13:35):
Well, the last neighbors weren't too bad, except the wife,
Like the sub bathed dude.
Speaker 11 (13:40):
That wouldn't have been a problem if she wasn't five
hundred pound. She'd laid down and spread out like a flapjack.
I couldn't eat breakfast a whole damn time they lived there.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
Have you tried talking to the guy?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I screamed my.
Speaker 10 (13:52):
Dang full head off. Maybe he's deaf, I know, damn Wellie,
hain't deaf. When I told him to tell his wife
to stop barking, he give me the finger.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Well, we gotta do something.
Speaker 13 (14:03):
I need my beauty sleep.
Speaker 11 (14:05):
I think that would call for a coma. I'm the
one who needs his rest. It's hard to be a
legend and an icon when you got the woozies. Oh,
I can't expect some commoner like you to understand the
pressures of being Doping's most beloved fast food mascot. What
(14:27):
would the children say if they saw Pizza running not
on top of his game?
Speaker 6 (14:30):
They'd say, Hey, shorty, I need a refill on root beer.
Speaker 10 (14:35):
Ah.
Speaker 11 (14:37):
Well, enough is enough, It's time to put it into
this nonsense. I'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (14:43):
Well be careful, lord. I hope it ain't a big dog,
and I think bigger than a chihuahua. It's probably gonna
bury him in the backyard.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Well take that, mister, irresponsible pet owner.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
The dog is still barking.
Speaker 8 (15:00):
What did he do?
Speaker 11 (15:01):
I put the dog in our backyard. Let's see how
he likes this. We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and
Billy playhouse. Oh, he knocking on the door, Lucy undo them.
Top two button we'll see what he won't tune in
(15:21):
next time when we'll hear the Dowey overweight nude sun
bathery say.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
the big shows on a radio more big show. Right
around the corner.
Speaker 14 (15:33):
This is Buzz Nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
I've never seen such carnage.
Speaker 14 (15:40):
And may I remind you that I was at the
Great Dnna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle of nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
This is much, much worse.
Speaker 14 (15:47):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses of
other morning shows lit in the battlefield. You're listening to
the victors in this morning radio war, John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Now, can I turn in my expense receipt?
Speaker 8 (16:36):
Good morning, it's a big show on the Radio's got
the football Monday morning? Well, you know we'll branch out
all kinds of sports, of course in the room with
basketball royalty.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That being Jackie Curry. You know what we're talking about.
Way back for this public service announcement we used in
the day. Okay, one more time, this is sports. This
is your brain on sports.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Ah right, it's Tim Kempton and Charlotte Hornet.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Hey is you uh?
Speaker 5 (17:13):
John Boy? Any questions?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Sponsored by the Partnership for a Sports Free America. Robert D.
Rayford Treasurer.
Speaker 8 (17:21):
Good Morning, got the Big Show on the radio coming up?
We played John boyd jeb Day for one dollars worth
of Bullstot cleaning products. Truck drivers keep America moving and
bullsnot make sure they look good doing it. Bull's nott
at truck stops across America. Download that Bull's not app
easy when you click on the banner at the Big
Show dot Com hang Out play vote minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
But first more football, phone.
Speaker 15 (17:46):
And bigs Sports Pleasence. Backyard Ball for sponsored in part
by Sticky Johnson. Stinky Johnson reminds you that Eddie Brown
eats Bookers and by Bush and his butch like no
when to say uncle.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Good afternoon, everybody.
Speaker 10 (18:09):
Dicky prew It along with Tubby Jackson live from the
vacant lot beside Missus Mortison's house, bringing you the war
between the hedges and the Street.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
It's backyard Ball for.
Speaker 9 (18:22):
They were about to get underway. There's some haggling going
on down there. It looks like the last two slots
on the team rosters, but.
Speaker 10 (18:28):
Of course here at backyard football a little different. The
rosters are actually made while standing on the field. So
we're down to the final two slots. Yes, it's a citizen.
Randy and Benny's little sister. They call her the girl. Yeah,
looking for good things from the girl. She's little, she
is quick. I see they're more haggling going on. The
(18:49):
Blazers are invoking the familiar we had him last time.
Speaker 13 (18:52):
Rule, which of course means the girl is going to
join their line up.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
Well, it looks like the crushers are gonna have to
take Randy.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
And you know, Dicky.
Speaker 9 (19:00):
Unless I miss my guess, Randy's going to be the
one who has to stay in and blo.
Speaker 10 (19:05):
I remember back in Backyard Ball three when he actually
convinced him to let him go out for a pass
hit in the face. Game ended early when he cried,
took his ball and went hall.
Speaker 13 (19:13):
Who could forget that.
Speaker 10 (19:14):
Well, you know a lot of people wouldn't be surprised
to see Randy in the lineup at all, but today
perhaps the most important player on the field got to
be a first for Randy.
Speaker 13 (19:24):
That's because, of course it's his foots his ball.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Exactly hardly been used at all.
Speaker 10 (19:28):
Remember back during barefoot season, he had a little red
splotch on his foot from kicking the laces, but his
mom took care of that.
Speaker 13 (19:36):
Yep, she wrote that kick me here on the magic
marker there.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
On the other side, which has really helped Randy out
so far.
Speaker 13 (19:43):
Well, see, nobody has a coin for the toss. What's going?
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Okay?
Speaker 9 (19:47):
The crushers went a quick round of rock paper scissors,
and they're going to elect to receive.
Speaker 10 (19:53):
Receive, and they will take the end of the field
where it is limb free, the trees, of course, bushes
on one side, and the read on the other hand.
Speaker 13 (20:00):
We's got some trouble down.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
There's what's happening.
Speaker 13 (20:03):
I can't believe this.
Speaker 9 (20:04):
Randy making sports history here today, folks. He's becoming the
only player ever to get hurt playing rock papers.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Delay of the ball game. Delay at the start of
the ball game.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
So we'll pause for this announcement from Stinky Johnson, Scooter
and Leslie. The drinks get at the SS high n
G first, go then go's mad.
Speaker 11 (20:25):
Didn't go scutter as the very Big Couch and Edie Brown.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
It's booger all right.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Now the first play of the game about to get under.
Speaker 10 (20:34):
Way for backyard ball four uh, opening with the classic
everybody out for a pass play.
Speaker 13 (20:41):
You've seen that many times here in the backyard back.
Speaker 10 (20:43):
Except of course, for Randy who will who will stay
in and block?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You see the duck. Eddie Waddell lines up wide right,
there's Mary.
Speaker 13 (20:51):
O King lines up not quite as wide right.
Speaker 10 (20:54):
And there goes Tubby Rise lines up so far right,
he's behind the bushes. Right. Wait, wait, Tubby's just just
relieving himself, getting ready.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yeah, your backyard ball.
Speaker 13 (21:04):
I think they're ready.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Okay.
Speaker 10 (21:06):
Wadell cuts right at the big rock button, hooks at
the manhole.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Cover a long pass.
Speaker 10 (21:10):
Whoa mass that's heavy the power line, hit the power line,
that is a do over?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Would just go ahead and run this up a little bit.
We probably don't have time for the whole game, so
we'll just just we'll join Hey, what was that guy?
Will join in further action? The guy who didn't know
her name?
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Football?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
You known, I'm talking.
Speaker 13 (21:30):
About it now, further action.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Leader in the game.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Okay, it's good.
Speaker 10 (21:33):
Let wait day break and looks like Randy is crying hysterically.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
Yeah, he's arguing with the official. I think he's saying
the girl didn't count to three before she rush.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, now I say, actually she did count. He's just
going with the old argument.
Speaker 10 (21:47):
She didn't say one Mississippi, two, Mississippi, three, Mississippi before
she crossed the line of stream.
Speaker 13 (21:51):
The girl has been all over him all day.
Speaker 10 (21:54):
Well, she is a year older than him, and twice
his size, and of course about three or four times
the athletic ability.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
That let's just moving iron right.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You know you don't run forward.
Speaker 9 (22:05):
We'll do it.
Speaker 10 (22:06):
Guess we heard enough. All right, let's move to further
action in the game. Okay, here we had the two
minute warning has just sounded. Mom calling the offensive line
in for dinner.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
It is crunch time.
Speaker 13 (22:18):
It's going to be first team to score wins.
Speaker 10 (22:20):
Here we go, alrighty, it's everybody go long for a
pass except Randy, it will say and block.
Speaker 9 (22:28):
All right, Stinky fades back to pass. Oh trouble here.
Randy trips, falls down. He's crying again.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
He's crying again.
Speaker 10 (22:36):
Looks like everybody else is laughing at him. He said
that was his good pair of breeches. His mom told
him he couldn't mess them up.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And all this guy's look good. He's got a hold.
Oh look yep, he's mad. Is he taking it?
Speaker 13 (22:49):
He's taking his ball?
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Ball going going home.
Speaker 10 (22:52):
Thus ends Backyard Ball number four, reminiscent of last year's
game on a similar note, Well we'll meet back here
next afternoon.
Speaker 14 (23:00):
We can.
Speaker 10 (23:01):
That's whoa okay, sudden death. Everybody's splitting. Here comes Dad
with the belt.
Speaker 15 (23:07):
Backyard Bowl four has been a presentation of NBS Sports.
Speaker 9 (23:12):
The network were the really cool guys hangout.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
Oh yeah, kick me here, Renty No, okay, hey you
all ready for John Boy Jemondy. No, we are a
whole week's world. Let's jump right in here. Well, today
we call it noon, but it originally comes from the
Latin phrase nana horror. Wait a minute to say if
I'm doing that right now? No nah horah?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Okay, no nah horah. Well, it literally means the ninth
hour and referred to this time of day. Oh, what
is cocktail hour?
Speaker 11 (23:53):
Is that?
Speaker 10 (23:54):
It?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Like I did it?
Speaker 4 (23:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Nah horah?
Speaker 10 (24:00):
He got a dream?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
What's y'all got? One? Eight hundred? Big show? You told
free line? We played John Moore, Jeopardy Next.
Speaker 8 (24:31):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio for
your Monday morning and play clicked on air contest money
when you hit the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I know we hit the big box.
Speaker 8 (24:43):
Our featured track this morning, Carl Melenda's Country Day Spo.
He words day Spa and they hit the bed box
at the Big Show dot Com. And right now let's
play Yans live across America.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
It's John boy je and now your host. After his
last SPA treatment, he.
Speaker 11 (25:04):
Told his wife, Wow, I feel like a new man.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Unfortunately she said me too, John, that I am unless
I hated.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
Jimmy out of Geneva, Georgia. Good morning, Jimmy, Well hello
that hey body, welcome. All right, you got the first
shot at John Boyd Jebardy the brain scratcher. Here today
we call it noon, but it originally comes from the
Latin phrase no nahhah, which literally means the ninth hour
(25:39):
and referred to this time of day.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
No no, how about three pm?
Speaker 7 (25:47):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Well okay, well let's say is it three pm?
Speaker 5 (25:54):
Jimmy smart.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
They're gonna out.
Speaker 8 (26:00):
The day would begin at sunrise or approximately at six am,
so the ninth hour.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It would be three pm.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
Ready to go, Jammy all right, so all right, if
we ever get on back to the non holerah days,
we're right in there.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
So Jimmy, if you hold on, Jack can get you
that prize. Pick all right back at you? Why the money?
Speaker 10 (26:30):
I word?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Try me your news?
Speaker 8 (26:32):
All right on Monday morning time capsuled on the other side,
wouldn't that mark September eighth.
Speaker 7 (27:08):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 11 (27:24):
All the sad old men in their trust. They strain
wind playing shuffle board. They can't bend down oi they Oh,
a deep breadth is going overboard. I go to the store,
pickup Milt. That's when I feel a stabbing pain. Pick
up my cat oivey. Oh, there's that awful pain again.
I heard the doc who was in shock say, way, oh, way.
Speaker 16 (27:47):
Way way, Life with the hernie uh, life with the
hurdieu hollo map.
Speaker 11 (27:59):
Please be patient with me today. It seems I've herniated myself.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
How did I do it?
Speaker 11 (28:06):
I can tell you exactly how I did it. I
tried to lift up John Boy's legendary big bag. Well,
I should have looked at it before I even attempted
that clean and jerk. Let's see, there was a pan
of leftover chicken wings, two cases of diet coke, five
twelve packs of cherry pop tarts, cups, plates, paper, towel,
(28:27):
and toilet paper. It's like he was channeling mister Rayford.
But I guess it's easier to shop here than stop
at the store. I'm sorry, I meant to say cheat per.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
So what's do with you?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Bubbaloo?
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Uh huh?
Speaker 11 (28:44):
You had to you had to retake your driving test? Oh,
because of the tickets right right, right, right right, and
you failed?
Speaker 5 (28:52):
How on earth? Ah? Every time the car stopped you
jumped in the back seat. Well, you know, old habits
are hard to break.
Speaker 11 (29:02):
List, why don't you touch up the fabulous and well
goot along to Eron's Okay, okay, okay, there she goes, No,
little a little further.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Had a girl. No no, no, he's married. Keep going.
Not in the planter again, that's the door she's in,
and it's clothed.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
God.
Speaker 11 (29:30):
You know the difference between butter and a blonde butter
can be hard to spread.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Jama, that's a good thing.
Speaker 11 (29:38):
I mean, help you, yes, ma'am. Uh huh you have
a complaint. Welcome to the club. I bought a pair
of French cut tappants at Cato, and when I got
him home I could barely squeeze it. Oh I'm sorry.
Let's make this all about you. Oh it's not about you. No,
(29:59):
it's a about your son. Oh no, tell me he's
been screaming. Oh wow, we get that one a lot.
Oh it's not that, Oh my, it's Oliver. Your son
gets upset when he talks about his family. How do
you think Oliver feels your son cries?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Why?
Speaker 11 (30:24):
Oh oh, he's a little on the hefty side.
Speaker 16 (30:28):
Huh.
Speaker 11 (30:29):
I'm hip and size and but you get the picture, ma'am.
Really such language. I usually have to go down to
the sports station to hear that kind of talk. Oh wow,
were you ever on the bull riding circuit? Listen, tuts,
here's something to think about. Maybe little Junior Cheeseburger isn't
(30:52):
cry because of Oliver.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
Maybe he's in tears because you're his mother.
Speaker 11 (31:00):
Oh oh, my, stars and garters. That was better than cheesecake.
You need a cigarette and I don't even smoke. John
wysting you you've got to complain?
Speaker 5 (31:14):
Oh did you pick the wrong day. Bring it on.
You're mad about a song they played?
Speaker 11 (31:21):
Really really here, try the take the index finger and
push the channel changer. Then take the thumb, spin on
it and stick it. Oh, here comes the blonde bombshell.
Gotta go, and ma'am dust, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
I always say that, Hello, my angel.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Oh gossip Yumm yum yum yum yum yum yum.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
What's the dirt skirt? Amber is pregnant again? Good heavens?
What does she use for protection? The bus shelter?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Good?
Speaker 5 (31:55):
Good?
Speaker 6 (31:56):
Good?
Speaker 11 (31:57):
Oh, my head better stuck up on the BC powders
to the Mini Coomer. Carry on straight, people, John Boy
and Billy, you're listening to the video.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
Good morning radio, done right, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
There's a big show on the radio for you.
Speaker 8 (32:43):
Monday morning, gonna come Funs of a fas Andy Griffith,
Terry Hansen.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
M sounds kind of hot, but it'll all work out
right now, we're ready, Okay here you I'm sorry. Let's
turn it over to mister Rubarb. Thank you, gimme de
beat hi kids.
Speaker 10 (33:08):
This is your vaguely creepy old pal, mister Rubarb, And
this is mister Rubarb's mailbag, where we answer letters from
you the members of mister Rubarb's Learning Is Fun Club.
Today's letter is from Tad Bentley of Dauphan, Alabama. Dear
mister Rubarb, my dad's a really smart guy. Last week
(33:32):
he got two job offers for a lot of money.
One of the jobs is in Los Angeles, California, and
the other one is in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Our family will
have to move to one of those places. Mom says
Dad should take the job in California because they have
great weather all the time and a bunch of movie
stars live there. Mom says Wyoming is boring. Dad says
(33:57):
California sucks. Not only do they have earthquakes and forest
fires and mud slides, but their flat broke. Dad says
he wouldn't live there on a bet. Does California really suck?
Are they really broke? If so, why your pal Tad?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Well, Tad.
Speaker 10 (34:18):
The only famous person I could find from Wyoming is
Larry Wilcox, who was on a TV show called Chips.
He was the guy that people remember as not paunch
the other one. So, your mom's got a point Wyoming
is boring, but your dad's got a point too. Wyoming
(34:39):
has plenty of money, while California's economy is doing something
grown ups called sucking wind. Why are they so different?
Allow me to explain, with a little help from two
wild coyotes. The governor of California is on a nature
trail walking his dog when a wild coyote comes.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Out of the woods. The Governor's about to.
Speaker 10 (35:02):
Run the coyote off when he thinks of the movie
Bambi and realizes that the coyote is only doing what
comes naturally. The coyote kills the governor's dog, then he
bites the governor on the leg. The governor runs over
to a tree and climbs up so the coyote can't
get him. He pulls out his cell phone and calls
(35:24):
animal control. Do they come and kill the coyote? No, silly,
They catch the coyote. They build a state two hundred
dollars to test it for diseases and five hundred dollars
to relocate it to another part of the state. They
also charge two hundred dollars for picking up the governor's dog.
(35:45):
The governor goes to the hospital. They send the state
a bill for three thousand dollars to fix the bite
on his leg and test him for coyote diseases. When
he gets out of the hospital, the governor shuts down
the park for six months while the state Department of
Wildlife Affairs spends one hundred thousand dollars to make sure
the area is free of dangerous animals. The governor spends
(36:09):
fifty thousand dollars on a statewide coyote awareness campaign. It
starts a two million dollar program to find a cure
for rabies. The governor's bodyguard gets fired for not stopping
the coyote attack. The state spends one hundred and fifty
thousand to fine and train a new bodyguard, and a
group called PETA sues the state for five million dollars
(36:33):
for disturbing the ecosystem by taking the coyote out of
his natural habitat total costs to the State of California
seven point three million dollars. As I'm sure you know
that's a lot of money. Now, let's see how things
would go if the same thing happened in Wyoming. The
Governor of Wyoming is on a nature trail walking his
(36:56):
dog when a.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Wild coyote comes out of the woods.
Speaker 10 (36:59):
The starts to bark at the coyote, which gives the
governor just enough time to pull out his personal glock
nine millimeters pistol.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
And pump a bullet through the coyotes forehead.
Speaker 10 (37:11):
A flock of buzzard swoop down and clean up the
dead coyote in about a day and a half. Total
cost of this coyote attack zero dollars. And that tab
is why California is broke in Wyoming, isn't. I hope
you'll be very happy and shying. And that's it for
mister Rubarb's mail bag until next time. This is mister
(37:35):
Rubarb saying. This is mister rubob carry on straight people.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
More chances for you to win coming up after your
news weather sports tied.
Speaker 8 (37:54):
This is stand your the arts in all today apron hem.
Speaker 11 (37:58):
Me Langer norway after around to kick the wolverine.
Speaker 14 (38:04):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great big hairing smoothie.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
And listening to the Big Show with John Boy and Bay.
Speaker 5 (38:15):
There's a bond in this one.
Speaker 8 (38:51):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Well
we are having fun on this September Monday, because we're
celebrating the first full weekend of the NFL add of.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
How Sorenson did you know to get here? A little later?
Speaker 8 (39:07):
We will wake up tonight. We got Chicago and Minnesota.
Is that Minnesota at Chicago or they I just got
sores where swords and picked Chicago to beat Minnesota?
Speaker 11 (39:21):
So how did that?
Speaker 1 (39:23):
I think it is Chicago? Yeah, they're at Chicago. Yeah,
all right, ideas and they place bets place she beds.
Speaker 8 (39:31):
Let me see, I promise i'd pull something out of
my butt this morning.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
So is you job what I was looking for? Something
more sports related?
Speaker 9 (39:48):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (39:49):
You know, as we get it, because we're gonna be
getting to Andy Griffiths the Classic. What it was was
football the record that Andy himself brought to Robert D.
Rayford back in the day. Yep, rape and refuse, I'm
playing up. He'll build us up.
Speaker 6 (40:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Playing this show was only fifteen minutes.
Speaker 8 (40:06):
Yeah, anyway, the Classic, y'all requested every football season.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
We love to answer them.
Speaker 8 (40:15):
All right, So that is coming up in minutes, and
we'll keep looking up there for sports stars.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Muggsy bogs. Yeah, what's up with Deck? Okay, I'll quit it. Yeah,
That money, y'all, Big Show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hello a you perky early risers. Here's just the thing
to wake you up and get your blood pumping, the
John Boy and Billy Big Show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the walls just like me.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Ooh whah, ooh uh oh see what I mean?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Thank my guy, contact Jackie Monday. All right.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
I love it sounds like somebody's got a case of.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
The I think they're great.
Speaker 6 (01:30):
They feel like a new beginning, a new start and
begin to start over and start and get everything and
get together, and you can have new coffee and new friends.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
And places in new clothes. It's so fantastic.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
That isn't just the best.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
Blowing out your.
Speaker 7 (01:44):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Well, if I could raise it over at you just
wait it out.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Wake up?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, catch me.
Speaker 8 (02:03):
Well, it is Monday morning, y'all, September the eight, So
let's go and jump in here. Man, we're gonna celebrate
football today. We were celebrating Friday.
Speaker 7 (02:13):
Going in.
Speaker 8 (02:14):
We'll add up our sore and some dead and we
got Minnesota Vigers Chicago Bears playing tonight on Monday night football. Listen,
finish our jobs. Catch a nap.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I didn't watched enough football your man. All right, maybe
these new shoes? Yeah, so National Day is right? Quick?
Wait hey, Star Trek Day. I can't believe my ears. Captain,
we can't believe years. HEYI the misters ball. Do you
(02:50):
know who we have to thank for Star Trek? No,
dasy aren't is Ricky?
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:56):
All right, Lucy's husband Ricky? Yes, yes, mister TV. Just
about every TV series that was a big hit in
the sixties, Daisi arnt is? That was wow? Yep?
Speaker 8 (03:09):
Okay, I thought Gene Roddenberry with the whole, the whole creator,
But Daisi aren't is?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
He was the you know, the executive producer. Oh whoa, well.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
That's helpful, Brandy.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
All right, so we can move on.
Speaker 8 (03:26):
You hung out all weekend, Good morning, big shows on
the radio. Let's get our first prize pack out, shall we?
As a blue em you prize pack that's in the start.
Until I cleared my throat, including two jars of I
turned my micros off, y'all didn't even know I did
(03:48):
you know?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
You were going home? Don't tell me. I'm about reading.
Speaker 8 (03:53):
Good Blue Amy nongraez or leave whatever panging Blue Amy
worse fast won't make you stink has some good stuff.
I would singing the praises of the pbcotc Itchylief Cream.
I seem to pick up a lot of bites over
the weekend, and this stuff is unbelievable. His prescription strength
itch relief from everything that makes you itch during the
(04:13):
summertime even into the fall. Its available in stores and
online of Walmart, Amazon, other finerytailers. So let's give you
three days in history where we get our categories so
you can win you some. Fifteen sixty five, it was
Don pedroman Indez d Alvez of Spain landed in Florida
(04:39):
and established the first permanent settlement of Europeans in North America,
eventually to be called Saint Augustine.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
We just said that up front, little time.
Speaker 8 (04:52):
Nineteen thirty, Richard Drew developed Scotch tape.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Go Richard, right, we needed it. Thank you. Three. The
Recording Industry Association of America filed two hundred and sixty
one copyright lawsuits across the country against Internet users for
trading songs online. Yeah you remember when that was. I'm
sure you do. You've been right in there. Yeah, I
believe it says two thousand and three right here on
(05:18):
that fact.
Speaker 5 (05:18):
Sheet that you just read from Always Getting Smart.
Speaker 8 (05:22):
If I'd have been paying attention, I don't know what
he was getty smart about me.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
For me, it was right there, all right, that it
was good.
Speaker 8 (05:33):
I don't have to know as perfect as Monday is
turning around right here. But right now, let's get us
a contestant at one eight hundred Big Show and see
if we can get to winning beginning. Come on on
play out Birds next, Good morning, there's a Big show
(06:12):
on the radio. I'm glad we meet like this on
Monday mornings. Mature Tracking the Big Show, bid Box, Carl
and Melenda's Country Day Spa, Keywords day Spa.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
It sounds like a good idea. See what y'all was
like in the mid box at the Bigshow dot com
Keywords Day Spy.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Uppers. Let's play uppers.
Speaker 9 (06:40):
It's the game that anyone can win, John Boy and
really give.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
You puzzes from the big prize. Be let's go contested
number one.
Speaker 5 (06:52):
This should really be a lot of funs.
Speaker 10 (06:56):
Your playing uppers, have a mony up a guest, and
you have the best time.
Speaker 5 (07:02):
You have a big shot.
Speaker 11 (07:04):
Let's say heya, Martin from America Georgia. We have shot.
Speaker 8 (07:18):
Good morning Martin, this morning, man, we are all some
welcome in here monsters.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
As see.
Speaker 8 (07:26):
We can get that prize pack headed down. Tell you
Martin got three categories for you to get through.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You ready to go?
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I'm ready all right?
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Then five seconds. Three cities that you would visit in Florida.
Speaker 8 (07:38):
Ready go, Saint Augustine, Miami and Dayton.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Bam.
Speaker 8 (07:46):
Now we need three kinds of tapes. Ready to go,
A masking, dot and duck, big gooding.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So now Martin, three places you can hear music on
the internet. Ready to go?
Speaker 9 (08:06):
Fivey five, Amazon and Pandoras.
Speaker 8 (08:10):
Oh look at you way, don't work at Martin entire
blue even you prize pack. Head down to America's. You
got any itches, hold on to them right quick, I
mean all right, glad to say TV. All right, hold
on buddy the jackie, get you info, my man?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Thank you?
Speaker 8 (08:37):
All right.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Don't you get eye of football on Monday?
Speaker 8 (08:41):
Going with the direct Tim was a record ted wells, Mama,
hold on on a side of this report. Good morning.
(09:22):
That's a big shaw on the radio. I always played
this too. First ever football season, The late great Tim
Wilson brings back members man Graham High School, my High School, Graham,
North Carolina, Red Double, my cousin VIC. When it is
doing play by play, what would always play Ricky ted
(09:42):
Wells mama before every game.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
It's like a good luck charge. No Way, that's my hometown.
Speaker 8 (09:51):
Maybe it'll bring you some luggas football season.
Speaker 12 (09:54):
Let's did Ricky didn't Wayhole was a great athlete, was
a big, strong boy that was quick on his feet.
In every college in the country wanted Ricky on their line.
But when the scouts come knocking Old Rickey's door, they
didn't want to talk to young rick no more. When
they saw his mama, She's the one they wanted to sign.
(10:15):
She was a roll boned woman raised on a farm,
had bear bright tattooed on her forearms. She was manering
hell and running forty and four point three, and she
could squat six hundred bitch press five. The Hen's down.
Me and a homemaker alive, got a scholarship playing line
like her at ten to see Rickey ted Wells, Mama's
(10:37):
gonna play football. Her real name's Doris, but they gonna
call her too tall. She got shoulders and a hind
end four foot wide, gone to college on a poor ride.
Doris tied Well's gonna play and the.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
M see double.
Speaker 12 (10:58):
She wash all her team makes you homs, tucked everybody
in in the football dorm, cut the game meal, set
the lord's pair. You're missing the jump strap. She's got
a spare. Crawl in the huddle and call all the
plays only one tough enough to go both ways. Get
a mouth full of mud, scarred at knees, cussing out
the coaches, spitting on referees.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Ricky did Wells.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Mama's gonna play football.
Speaker 12 (11:24):
Her own named Doris. Everybody calls her too tall. They
say she's a fine young man, but she's really not.
Ricky's mama was the master of the cheap shine and
on a triple option play she could ruin your day.
She let the team and tackles in the league in sacks,
(11:44):
responsible for killing nine quarterbacks. But the school's reputation was destroyed.
They accuged Ricky's mama of steroids. Ricky did weals mama's
own probation, and now Alabam Tennessee is under their twelfth investigation. Yeah,
(12:05):
they wouldn't leave poor ricketted Wells mama alone. She's been
taking mail hormones. Doris ted Whales. Gonna be help in
the veil, ricketed Wales.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Mama, Very.
Speaker 8 (12:53):
Good, Monday morning, Big Show's on the radio. Hard Ready
bird Action.
Speaker 11 (13:00):
Hello friends, your old pal Burt Fern here with another
tail wagging edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode All Bark all Night. As our story opens, Ricky
b Sharp and his wife Lucy are trying to sleep
at their home in Dothan, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Ah, wrecky, what are we gonna do?
Speaker 6 (13:25):
That dog's been barking since the Subwe d old.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
It's that new neighbor, cherry Picker. I knowed.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I should have bought that house, and no more losers
than move in next door.
Speaker 6 (13:35):
Well, the last neighbors weren't too bad, except the wife,
Like the sub bathed dude.
Speaker 11 (13:40):
That wouldn't have been a problem if she wasn't five
hundred pound. She'd laid down and spread out like a flapjack.
I couldn't eat breakfast a whole damn time they lived there.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
Have you tried talking to the guy?
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I screamed my.
Speaker 10 (13:52):
Dang full head off. Maybe he's deaf, I know, damn Wellie,
hain't deaf. When I told him to tell his wife
to stop barking, he give me the finger.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Well, we gotta do something.
Speaker 13 (14:03):
I need my beauty sleep.
Speaker 11 (14:05):
I think that would call for a coma. I'm the
one who needs his rest. It's hard to be a
legend and an icon when you got the woozies. Oh,
I can't expect some commoner like you to understand the
pressures of being Doping's most beloved fast food mascot. What
(14:27):
would the children say if they saw Pizza running not
on top of his game?
Speaker 6 (14:30):
They'd say, Hey, shorty, I need a refill on root beer.
Speaker 10 (14:35):
Ah.
Speaker 11 (14:37):
Well, enough is enough, It's time to put it into
this nonsense. I'll be right back.
Speaker 6 (14:43):
Well be careful, lord. I hope it ain't a big dog,
and I think bigger than a chihuahua. It's probably gonna
bury him in the backyard.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Well take that, mister, irresponsible pet owner.
Speaker 6 (14:58):
The dog is still barking.
Speaker 8 (15:00):
What did he do?
Speaker 11 (15:01):
I put the dog in our backyard. Let's see how
he likes this. We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and
Billy playhouse. Oh, he knocking on the door, Lucy undo them.
Top two button we'll see what he won't tune in
(15:21):
next time when we'll hear the Dowey overweight nude sun
bathery say.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
the big shows on a radio more big show. Right
around the corner.
Speaker 14 (15:33):
This is Buzz Nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster.
Speaker 5 (15:38):
I've never seen such carnage.
Speaker 14 (15:40):
And may I remind you that I was at the
Great Dnna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle of nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
This is much, much worse.
Speaker 14 (15:47):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses of
other morning shows lit in the battlefield. You're listening to
the victors in this morning radio war, John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Now, can I turn in my expense receipt?
Speaker 8 (16:36):
Good morning, it's a big show on the Radio's got
the football Monday morning? Well, you know we'll branch out
all kinds of sports, of course in the room with
basketball royalty.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That being Jackie Curry. You know what we're talking about.
Way back for this public service announcement we used in
the day. Okay, one more time, this is sports. This
is your brain on sports.
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Ah right, it's Tim Kempton and Charlotte Hornet.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Hey is you uh?
Speaker 5 (17:13):
John Boy? Any questions?
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Sponsored by the Partnership for a Sports Free America. Robert D.
Rayford Treasurer.
Speaker 8 (17:21):
Good Morning, got the Big Show on the radio coming up?
We played John boyd jeb Day for one dollars worth
of Bullstot cleaning products. Truck drivers keep America moving and
bullsnot make sure they look good doing it. Bull's nott
at truck stops across America. Download that Bull's not app
easy when you click on the banner at the Big
Show dot Com hang Out play vote minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
But first more football, phone.
Speaker 15 (17:46):
And bigs Sports Pleasence. Backyard Ball for sponsored in part
by Sticky Johnson. Stinky Johnson reminds you that Eddie Brown
eats Bookers and by Bush and his butch like no
when to say uncle.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
Good afternoon, everybody.
Speaker 10 (18:09):
Dicky prew It along with Tubby Jackson live from the
vacant lot beside Missus Mortison's house, bringing you the war
between the hedges and the Street.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
It's backyard Ball for.
Speaker 9 (18:22):
They were about to get underway. There's some haggling going
on down there. It looks like the last two slots
on the team rosters, but.
Speaker 10 (18:28):
Of course here at backyard football a little different. The
rosters are actually made while standing on the field. So
we're down to the final two slots. Yes, it's a citizen.
Randy and Benny's little sister. They call her the girl. Yeah,
looking for good things from the girl. She's little, she
is quick. I see they're more haggling going on. The
(18:49):
Blazers are invoking the familiar we had him last time.
Speaker 13 (18:52):
Rule, which of course means the girl is going to
join their line up.
Speaker 10 (18:56):
Well, it looks like the crushers are gonna have to
take Randy.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
And you know, Dicky.
Speaker 9 (19:00):
Unless I miss my guess, Randy's going to be the
one who has to stay in and blo.
Speaker 10 (19:05):
I remember back in Backyard Ball three when he actually
convinced him to let him go out for a pass
hit in the face. Game ended early when he cried,
took his ball and went hall.
Speaker 13 (19:13):
Who could forget that.
Speaker 10 (19:14):
Well, you know a lot of people wouldn't be surprised
to see Randy in the lineup at all, but today
perhaps the most important player on the field got to
be a first for Randy.
Speaker 13 (19:24):
That's because, of course it's his foots his ball.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Exactly hardly been used at all.
Speaker 10 (19:28):
Remember back during barefoot season, he had a little red
splotch on his foot from kicking the laces, but his
mom took care of that.
Speaker 13 (19:36):
Yep, she wrote that kick me here on the magic
marker there.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
On the other side, which has really helped Randy out
so far.
Speaker 13 (19:43):
Well, see, nobody has a coin for the toss. What's going?
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Okay?
Speaker 9 (19:47):
The crushers went a quick round of rock paper scissors,
and they're going to elect to receive.
Speaker 10 (19:53):
Receive, and they will take the end of the field
where it is limb free, the trees, of course, bushes
on one side, and the read on the other hand.
Speaker 13 (20:00):
We's got some trouble down.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
There's what's happening.
Speaker 13 (20:03):
I can't believe this.
Speaker 9 (20:04):
Randy making sports history here today, folks. He's becoming the
only player ever to get hurt playing rock papers.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Delay of the ball game. Delay at the start of
the ball game.
Speaker 10 (20:13):
So we'll pause for this announcement from Stinky Johnson, Scooter
and Leslie. The drinks get at the SS high n
G first, go then go's mad.
Speaker 11 (20:25):
Didn't go scutter as the very Big Couch and Edie Brown.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
It's booger all right.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Now the first play of the game about to get under.
Speaker 10 (20:34):
Way for backyard ball four uh, opening with the classic
everybody out for a pass play.
Speaker 13 (20:41):
You've seen that many times here in the backyard back.
Speaker 10 (20:43):
Except of course, for Randy who will who will stay
in and block?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
You see the duck. Eddie Waddell lines up wide right,
there's Mary.
Speaker 13 (20:51):
O King lines up not quite as wide right.
Speaker 10 (20:54):
And there goes Tubby Rise lines up so far right,
he's behind the bushes. Right. Wait, wait, Tubby's just just
relieving himself, getting ready.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yeah, your backyard ball.
Speaker 13 (21:04):
I think they're ready.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Okay.
Speaker 10 (21:06):
Wadell cuts right at the big rock button, hooks at
the manhole.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Cover a long pass.
Speaker 10 (21:10):
Whoa mass that's heavy the power line, hit the power line,
that is a do over?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Would just go ahead and run this up a little bit.
We probably don't have time for the whole game, so
we'll just just we'll join Hey, what was that guy?
Will join in further action? The guy who didn't know
her name?
Speaker 7 (21:29):
Football?
Speaker 1 (21:29):
You known, I'm talking.
Speaker 13 (21:30):
About it now, further action.
Speaker 5 (21:31):
Leader in the game.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Okay, it's good.
Speaker 10 (21:33):
Let wait day break and looks like Randy is crying hysterically.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
Yeah, he's arguing with the official. I think he's saying
the girl didn't count to three before she rush.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, now I say, actually she did count. He's just
going with the old argument.
Speaker 10 (21:47):
She didn't say one Mississippi, two, Mississippi, three, Mississippi before
she crossed the line of stream.
Speaker 13 (21:51):
The girl has been all over him all day.
Speaker 10 (21:54):
Well, she is a year older than him, and twice
his size, and of course about three or four times
the athletic ability.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
That let's just moving iron right.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
You know you don't run forward.
Speaker 9 (22:05):
We'll do it.
Speaker 10 (22:06):
Guess we heard enough. All right, let's move to further
action in the game. Okay, here we had the two
minute warning has just sounded. Mom calling the offensive line
in for dinner.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
It is crunch time.
Speaker 13 (22:18):
It's going to be first team to score wins.
Speaker 10 (22:20):
Here we go, alrighty, it's everybody go long for a
pass except Randy, it will say and block.
Speaker 9 (22:28):
All right, Stinky fades back to pass. Oh trouble here.
Randy trips, falls down. He's crying again.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
He's crying again.
Speaker 10 (22:36):
Looks like everybody else is laughing at him. He said
that was his good pair of breeches. His mom told
him he couldn't mess them up.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
And all this guy's look good. He's got a hold.
Oh look yep, he's mad. Is he taking it?
Speaker 13 (22:49):
He's taking his ball?
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Ball going going home.
Speaker 10 (22:52):
Thus ends Backyard Ball number four, reminiscent of last year's
game on a similar note, Well we'll meet back here
next afternoon.
Speaker 14 (23:00):
We can.
Speaker 10 (23:01):
That's whoa okay, sudden death. Everybody's splitting. Here comes Dad
with the belt.
Speaker 15 (23:07):
Backyard Bowl four has been a presentation of NBS Sports.
Speaker 9 (23:12):
The network were the really cool guys hangout.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
Oh yeah, kick me here, Renty No, okay, hey you
all ready for John Boy Jemondy. No, we are a
whole week's world. Let's jump right in here. Well, today
we call it noon, but it originally comes from the
Latin phrase nana horror. Wait a minute to say if
I'm doing that right now? No nah horah?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Okay, no nah horah. Well, it literally means the ninth
hour and referred to this time of day. Oh, what
is cocktail hour?
Speaker 11 (23:53):
Is that?
Speaker 10 (23:54):
It?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Like I did it?
Speaker 4 (23:54):
No?
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Nah horah?
Speaker 10 (24:00):
He got a dream?
Speaker 1 (24:03):
What's y'all got? One? Eight hundred? Big show? You told
free line? We played John Moore, Jeopardy Next.
Speaker 8 (24:31):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio for
your Monday morning and play clicked on air contest money
when you hit the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I know we hit the big box.
Speaker 8 (24:43):
Our featured track this morning, Carl Melenda's Country Day Spo.
He words day Spa and they hit the bed box
at the Big Show dot Com. And right now let's
play Yans live across America.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
It's John boy je and now your host. After his
last SPA treatment, he.
Speaker 11 (25:04):
Told his wife, Wow, I feel like a new man.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Unfortunately she said me too, John, that I am unless
I hated.
Speaker 8 (25:16):
Jimmy out of Geneva, Georgia. Good morning, Jimmy, Well hello
that hey body, welcome. All right, you got the first
shot at John Boyd Jebardy the brain scratcher. Here today
we call it noon, but it originally comes from the
Latin phrase no nahhah, which literally means the ninth hour
(25:39):
and referred to this time of day.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
No no, how about three pm?
Speaker 7 (25:47):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Well okay, well let's say is it three pm?
Speaker 5 (25:54):
Jimmy smart.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
They're gonna out.
Speaker 8 (26:00):
The day would begin at sunrise or approximately at six am,
so the ninth hour.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It would be three pm.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
Ready to go, Jammy all right, so all right, if
we ever get on back to the non holerah days,
we're right in there.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
So Jimmy, if you hold on, Jack can get you
that prize. Pick all right back at you? Why the money?
Speaker 10 (26:30):
I word?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Try me your news?
Speaker 8 (26:32):
All right on Monday morning time capsuled on the other side,
wouldn't that mark September eighth.
Speaker 7 (27:08):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 11 (27:24):
All the sad old men in their trust. They strain
wind playing shuffle board. They can't bend down oi they Oh,
a deep breadth is going overboard. I go to the store,
pickup Milt. That's when I feel a stabbing pain. Pick
up my cat oivey. Oh, there's that awful pain again.
I heard the doc who was in shock say, way, oh, way.
Speaker 16 (27:47):
Way way, Life with the hernie uh, life with the
hurdieu hollo map.
Speaker 11 (27:59):
Please be patient with me today. It seems I've herniated myself.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
How did I do it?
Speaker 11 (28:06):
I can tell you exactly how I did it. I
tried to lift up John Boy's legendary big bag. Well,
I should have looked at it before I even attempted
that clean and jerk. Let's see, there was a pan
of leftover chicken wings, two cases of diet coke, five
twelve packs of cherry pop tarts, cups, plates, paper, towel,
(28:27):
and toilet paper. It's like he was channeling mister Rayford.
But I guess it's easier to shop here than stop
at the store. I'm sorry, I meant to say cheat per.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
So what's do with you?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Bubbaloo?
Speaker 5 (28:42):
Uh huh?
Speaker 11 (28:44):
You had to you had to retake your driving test? Oh,
because of the tickets right right, right, right right, and
you failed?
Speaker 5 (28:52):
How on earth? Ah? Every time the car stopped you
jumped in the back seat. Well, you know, old habits
are hard to break.
Speaker 11 (29:02):
List, why don't you touch up the fabulous and well
goot along to Eron's Okay, okay, okay, there she goes, No,
little a little further.
Speaker 5 (29:13):
Had a girl. No no, no, he's married. Keep going.
Not in the planter again, that's the door she's in,
and it's clothed.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
God.
Speaker 11 (29:30):
You know the difference between butter and a blonde butter
can be hard to spread.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Jama, that's a good thing.
Speaker 11 (29:38):
I mean, help you, yes, ma'am. Uh huh you have
a complaint. Welcome to the club. I bought a pair
of French cut tappants at Cato, and when I got
him home I could barely squeeze it. Oh I'm sorry.
Let's make this all about you. Oh it's not about you. No,
(29:59):
it's a about your son. Oh no, tell me he's
been screaming. Oh wow, we get that one a lot.
Oh it's not that, Oh my, it's Oliver. Your son
gets upset when he talks about his family. How do
you think Oliver feels your son cries?
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Why?
Speaker 11 (30:24):
Oh oh, he's a little on the hefty side.
Speaker 16 (30:28):
Huh.
Speaker 11 (30:29):
I'm hip and size and but you get the picture, ma'am.
Really such language. I usually have to go down to
the sports station to hear that kind of talk. Oh wow,
were you ever on the bull riding circuit? Listen, tuts,
here's something to think about. Maybe little Junior Cheeseburger isn't
(30:52):
cry because of Oliver.
Speaker 5 (30:54):
Maybe he's in tears because you're his mother.
Speaker 11 (31:00):
Oh oh, my, stars and garters. That was better than cheesecake.
You need a cigarette and I don't even smoke. John
wysting you you've got to complain?
Speaker 5 (31:14):
Oh did you pick the wrong day. Bring it on.
You're mad about a song they played?
Speaker 11 (31:21):
Really really here, try the take the index finger and
push the channel changer. Then take the thumb, spin on
it and stick it. Oh, here comes the blonde bombshell.
Gotta go, and ma'am dust, I don't know.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
I always say that, Hello, my angel.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Oh gossip Yumm yum yum yum yum yum yum.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
What's the dirt skirt? Amber is pregnant again? Good heavens?
What does she use for protection? The bus shelter?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Good?
Speaker 5 (31:55):
Good?
Speaker 6 (31:56):
Good?
Speaker 11 (31:57):
Oh, my head better stuck up on the BC powders
to the Mini Coomer. Carry on straight, people, John Boy
and Billy, you're listening to the video.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
Good morning radio, done right, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
There's a big show on the radio for you.
Speaker 8 (32:43):
Monday morning, gonna come Funs of a fas Andy Griffith,
Terry Hansen.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
M sounds kind of hot, but it'll all work out
right now, we're ready, Okay here you I'm sorry. Let's
turn it over to mister Rubarb. Thank you, gimme de
beat hi kids.
Speaker 10 (33:08):
This is your vaguely creepy old pal, mister Rubarb, And
this is mister Rubarb's mailbag, where we answer letters from
you the members of mister Rubarb's Learning Is Fun Club.
Today's letter is from Tad Bentley of Dauphan, Alabama. Dear
mister Rubarb, my dad's a really smart guy. Last week
(33:32):
he got two job offers for a lot of money.
One of the jobs is in Los Angeles, California, and
the other one is in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Our family will
have to move to one of those places. Mom says
Dad should take the job in California because they have
great weather all the time and a bunch of movie
stars live there. Mom says Wyoming is boring. Dad says
(33:57):
California sucks. Not only do they have earthquakes and forest
fires and mud slides, but their flat broke. Dad says
he wouldn't live there on a bet. Does California really suck?
Are they really broke? If so, why your pal Tad?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Well, Tad.
Speaker 10 (34:18):
The only famous person I could find from Wyoming is
Larry Wilcox, who was on a TV show called Chips.
He was the guy that people remember as not paunch
the other one. So, your mom's got a point Wyoming
is boring, but your dad's got a point too. Wyoming
(34:39):
has plenty of money, while California's economy is doing something
grown ups called sucking wind. Why are they so different?
Allow me to explain, with a little help from two
wild coyotes. The governor of California is on a nature
trail walking his dog when a wild coyote comes.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Out of the woods. The Governor's about to.
Speaker 10 (35:02):
Run the coyote off when he thinks of the movie
Bambi and realizes that the coyote is only doing what
comes naturally. The coyote kills the governor's dog, then he
bites the governor on the leg. The governor runs over
to a tree and climbs up so the coyote can't
get him. He pulls out his cell phone and calls
(35:24):
animal control. Do they come and kill the coyote? No, silly,
They catch the coyote. They build a state two hundred
dollars to test it for diseases and five hundred dollars
to relocate it to another part of the state. They
also charge two hundred dollars for picking up the governor's dog.
(35:45):
The governor goes to the hospital. They send the state
a bill for three thousand dollars to fix the bite
on his leg and test him for coyote diseases. When
he gets out of the hospital, the governor shuts down
the park for six months while the state Department of
Wildlife Affairs spends one hundred thousand dollars to make sure
the area is free of dangerous animals. The governor spends
(36:09):
fifty thousand dollars on a statewide coyote awareness campaign. It
starts a two million dollar program to find a cure
for rabies. The governor's bodyguard gets fired for not stopping
the coyote attack. The state spends one hundred and fifty
thousand to fine and train a new bodyguard, and a
group called PETA sues the state for five million dollars
(36:33):
for disturbing the ecosystem by taking the coyote out of
his natural habitat total costs to the State of California
seven point three million dollars. As I'm sure you know
that's a lot of money. Now, let's see how things
would go if the same thing happened in Wyoming. The
Governor of Wyoming is on a nature trail walking his
(36:56):
dog when a.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Wild coyote comes out of the woods.
Speaker 10 (36:59):
The starts to bark at the coyote, which gives the
governor just enough time to pull out his personal glock
nine millimeters pistol.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
And pump a bullet through the coyotes forehead.
Speaker 10 (37:11):
A flock of buzzard swoop down and clean up the
dead coyote in about a day and a half. Total
cost of this coyote attack zero dollars. And that tab
is why California is broke in Wyoming, isn't. I hope
you'll be very happy and shying. And that's it for
mister Rubarb's mail bag until next time. This is mister
(37:35):
Rubarb saying. This is mister rubob carry on straight people.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
More chances for you to win coming up after your
news weather sports tied.
Speaker 8 (37:54):
This is stand your the arts in all today apron hem.
Speaker 11 (37:58):
Me Langer norway after around to kick the wolverine.
Speaker 14 (38:04):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great big hairing smoothie.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
And listening to the Big Show with John Boy and Bay.
Speaker 5 (38:15):
There's a bond in this one.
Speaker 8 (38:51):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Well
we are having fun on this September Monday, because we're
celebrating the first full weekend of the NFL add of.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
How Sorenson did you know to get here? A little later?
Speaker 8 (39:07):
We will wake up tonight. We got Chicago and Minnesota.
Is that Minnesota at Chicago or they I just got
sores where swords and picked Chicago to beat Minnesota?
Speaker 11 (39:21):
So how did that?
Speaker 1 (39:23):
I think it is Chicago? Yeah, they're at Chicago. Yeah,
all right, ideas and they place bets place she beds.
Speaker 8 (39:31):
Let me see, I promise i'd pull something out of
my butt this morning.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
So is you job what I was looking for? Something
more sports related?
Speaker 9 (39:48):
Oh?
Speaker 8 (39:49):
You know, as we get it, because we're gonna be
getting to Andy Griffiths the Classic. What it was was
football the record that Andy himself brought to Robert D.
Rayford back in the day. Yep, rape and refuse, I'm
playing up. He'll build us up.
Speaker 6 (40:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Playing this show was only fifteen minutes.
Speaker 8 (40:06):
Yeah, anyway, the Classic, y'all requested every football season.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
We love to answer them.
Speaker 8 (40:15):
All right, So that is coming up in minutes, and
we'll keep looking up there for sports stars.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Muggsy bogs. Yeah, what's up with Deck? Okay, I'll quit it. Yeah,
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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