July 7, 2025 • 34 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, a listener invites us to a Nudist Colony.. - We’ll escape the heat by ducking into the John Boy & Billy Playhouse for a performance of “A Death in the Family”.. - Big Show On the Scene Corespondent Buzz Nutley cracks the missing 30-foot cowboy case.. - We’ll run down some Dumb Crook News.. - Oliver has some advice for the men in our audience.. - We fill a request for “The Pirate Joke”.. - and we wrap up with some stupid things we saw in the news…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What go now, go now?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Okay, good morning Stan Higgins here.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Nothing makes my day like a chance to pipe in
on John Boy and Billy here in the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
But I don't come here just to see them.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I'm not a gay.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I come here for the eye Candy, Babs, Jackie and
Fader and Fanny's got a sweet.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
To How is that? Good morning? The Big Show is
(00:58):
on the radio on in here, Boys and girls Monday?
Do you light a seven? Have a big Independence Day?
Weekend off? Mad at? Don't look like y'all mess yourself
up too bad? Thanks everybody who made my weekend at
the beach a living hell. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
I talked to him Sunday at fund It sounded more
like they were sick of him than him.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
They're not really gonna stop the car, just gonna slow down,
push me out. It's tough, inner ship's captain taking responsibility
ordering people around.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Did you say that life trying to.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Save lives out there?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Those and absolutely you mean you had to order people
around and really do nothing yourself on weekend?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
How did you manage? Oh lady, y'all, y'all ain't gonna
believe this.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Wait, now, you got just been talking about for like
two minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm great as Jackie told you about this. Jack was
taking to the airport on Friday, right, well, no guy
catches me in the parking lot with us z D.
We put it in it and just loved it. Ricious. Yes,
it's hit music material, you know, like I found trailer
park trash.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
You mean trailer fabulous or are you talking about the
guy who did trailer fabulous?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah, that's right, all my trailer songs you're starting, Yeah, yeah, yeah, trailer.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
The world's largest collection of trailer.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Man, is it up there with white trash Christmas?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Uh? It's one that you will be humming later in
the day whether you want to or not here, no
matter how hard you try not to. I was right.
Oh well so anyway, we we gotta do that pretty soon.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Oh yeah, hey, y'all get my new song. Oh man,
we gonna give you legs and were gonna play this
out first game. Somebody's gonna be a winter first thing
this Monday morning in minutes, good morning, A big show
(03:00):
was already. Oh let's say, by the way, happy birthday
to Pillars. Jeff Pillars had his birthday yesterday.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
How he go agony from stretch.
Speaker 6 (03:11):
There could have been one thing that would have made
it perfect that if my family had stayed on vacation,
nerve racking, I mean just from bed, enough boyfriends over
the house all the time. He's like a cross between
Jerry Lewis and Gomer Pile on speed. There's no such
(03:33):
thing as a comfortable silence with this kid.
Speaker 7 (03:35):
It's like.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
He just never shuts up.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Oh but what what kind of president? Did you get it?
You know, I got what I wanted.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
I got a I got a fountain from my office,
you know, a cascade found from my office, which I
always I love the sound of running water when I'm morning.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
You'll never be so many.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Times, and uh, this and that and the other thing.
But the big surprise, Get this box.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
It's huge. I open it up. Bongos.
Speaker 6 (04:07):
Now, what in the hell would lead somebody to believe
that I would want a pair of damn bongo.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
You can't be sad when you're playing the bongos. I
just some of your aggression exactly something you can beat on.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
I thought, I said, birth, this is that mechanized Godzilla
that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I open it up and I lift the lid, and
I'm going yeah. What was my name, Maynard G.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Krebs or something?
Speaker 6 (04:36):
And I just looked over at my web and I said,
what's this? Well, that one time you were talking about bongos,
and I thought this, I said, I mentioned I wanted
to I'd always wanted when I was younger, a pair
of standing conga drums.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
When I was when I was younger, to conga drums,
I said.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
They you can stand up?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Put these between my knees. You know how sad that is.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Why don't you just let my hair turn great and
I'll grow a ponytail that'll make me look even sadder.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Now pierce my ear?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
How about that? Why don't you just kill me?
Speaker 6 (05:09):
Now?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Up?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
And all I wanted was a meganized Godzilla. All I
wanted was the Godzilla joy rise up and just try
you all.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
God boggles now, George, you appreciate those gifts those children
give you.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
But mama, Oh well, well, happy birthday, buddy, days on
go get better from here.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh boy, it's your day.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Have it? Ye're whoa, that's like a three days in history.
This will be our categories here your legs up? Outburst
July seventh and fifteen fifty, Europe, introduced the first chocolate.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Actually was the first chocolate in Europe. I think, you know,
the Mayans and the and the ancient Mexicans had been
doing chocolate, and that Columbus brought the beans back to Europe.
And I think it took a while for to really
catch her.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Because fourteen ninety two Columbus sell the ocean blue who
can't retain anything for school? So Europe got the child there.
And you say ancient Mexicans.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
The Mians, you know, the ancient they were ancient Mexicans.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Oh, why isn't it Mayo coo?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
They lost?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Okay, trying to learn something. Let's move up to nineteen
eighty two. A drunken man named Michael Fagan quietly broke
into Buckingham Palace, where he managed to find the bedroom
of Queen Elizabeth. He woke her and had a rambling
conversation with her while sitting on the end of her bed.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
I often think fish must get awfully tired. What are
your thought, Squeenie?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I didn't turn that well out here though.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
What that Prince Philip got she's married.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
That's probably the first guy in her bedroom in a
damn long time. Oh yeah, it's what's spent a lot
of time in the CaMV. Let's move up to nineteen
ninety six, Synbotics Corporation of Rancho Bernardo, California became the
(07:13):
first US company to extend group healthcare coverage to its
sixty employees family pets, including dogs, cats, and horses. And well,
we're gonna get down to Obama to white.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
This.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
No, we're gonna have to eat our animals. There you go.
There's three categories. Who wants to play? One? Eight hundred
Big show? You told free Line. We'll play Outburst, next
(08:09):
up Finday Morning, make show us on the radio.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
Right now.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
My brother's wearing Upburst.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Let's play Uppers. It's the game that anyone can win,
John Boy and Billy. We gave the prizes from the
big prize being. Let's go make contest the number one.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing upperst have a hurry up and gust time.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You have the best time. You love a big shots.
Say hey, the town from Danville for Virginia. We shots hell.
Speaker 9 (08:59):
Hello, damn, what's going on? Man?
Speaker 10 (09:01):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Man? Getting back in that work grew? What about you?
You all right?
Speaker 7 (09:05):
Yeah? Man?
Speaker 9 (09:06):
Doing good?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
All right? Good tam, glad you made it through here, buddy.
See me get through these three categories and join the winners.
Are you ready? Yes, sir? In five seconds? Three chocolate
detreats ready go.
Speaker 9 (09:19):
Eminem, chocolate kisses and chocolate chip cookies.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Ah good chocolate. Alright now, Tim, we need three royal
family members.
Speaker 9 (09:30):
Ready go, Prince Charles, Queen Elizabeth and Prince William.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Yeh yeah, yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Now, which one's a wild prince? Is that?
Speaker 6 (09:40):
What?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Harry?
Speaker 10 (09:41):
No, that's Harry. That's the redheaded guy, Harry. All right,
let'll go Herr as far as I know, God Tam,
here me go, buddy. Final category for the win three
forms of insurance.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
Ready go, uh, State Farm, blue Cross, blue Shill, and Travelers.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
All right, man, I appreciated a whole lot. Jones, A
big joke, can.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yo morning, rednecks.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
This is your pompa dis of love. I Turner enjoying
the hell out of my retirement, drinking malt liquors, eating nies.
And when I get to Jones in for a cracker
to go with it, I tune into John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show. If why I done lost
my appetite for crackers.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio. You
loosen mail coming over the weekend. Dear Big Show friends.
We have a number of club members who are fans
of viewers who out the Carolinas enjoy National Nude Recreation
week Huh, we'll be skinny, dipping, relaxing, and de stressing.
You visit Carolina Foothills Resort just north of Spartanburg and Chesney,
(11:22):
South Carolina, and enjoy yourselves as well. Have a wonderful summer,
Sherry Alexander. So there's gonna be at least one girl.
(12:05):
Good morning to make shows. Already about ten away for
the hour. That's time.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode a
death in the family. As our story opens, an American
tourist and his wife are seated in a waiting room
at the US Consulate in Jerusalem.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Oh, Myron, she's gone.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
My beautiful mother is gone.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
How could this happen?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Maybe she got a good look at you. What do
you mean how she was eighty eight years old and
thatpens every day.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
But Myron, why did she have to drop dead right
here in the middle of the happiest moment of her life?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I asked myself say a question on the wedding day.
Why couldn't I.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Who knows why?
Speaker 6 (12:58):
Before somebody comes out, You're gonna it'll be the Schmunt's
hanging out of your nose.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
No on the side, Yeah right, I'm not gonna touch it.
You're gonna get to get it yourself.
Speaker 11 (13:07):
Excuse me, mister and missus Greg Glenna and Frank fees Lee,
Deputy Secretary to the Assistant Vice Counsel. I'm Torri Savage
is able to get lost.
Speaker 6 (13:17):
Something that speaks youshe Why don't you go?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Why don't you go win to the lobby.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
I can.
Speaker 11 (13:25):
There's a break room down the hall if you'd like
to get something to drink. Ma'am, thank you much, you're
you're quiet, welcome.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
I thought she'd never leave. I'll tell you that woman's
a basket kiss I imagine.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So how old was your late mother in law? Eighty eight?
Speaker 6 (13:43):
Next nothing? For the last ten years, it's been one
thing after another. First, she lost a nye like Sammy
Davis Julia. Five years ago. They gave her an artificial knee.
Last year she had a total hip replacement. I'll tell
you this was not a woman this was the Timonadu.
Surprised she was able to make such a long trip
her age. Let me tell you something, she's been talking
(14:03):
about coming to Israel ever since I can remember. We
scrimp and saved for years. I paid for this trip.
That's that's ungrateful.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's what that is. What am I gonna do with
that return ticket?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And what happens?
Speaker 6 (14:17):
We've been off, We've been off the airport shuttled bus
for thirty seconds. Kaboom, she drops dead right than the
lumpy of the Sheraton Bluzzo white could did have been
the cheap bot. So anyway, the guy at the hospital said,
you could help us with getting the body back to
New York.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yes, sir, we can do that.
Speaker 11 (14:31):
I should warn you shipping a body to the United
States could be very expensive, as much as five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Thousand dollars, yes, sir, she's not gonna shoot what you're
gonna have a meaning?
Speaker 11 (14:43):
Now, there is a less expensive option you may want
to consider.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Ups not exactly now, was she of Jewish descent?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Oh you don't know the half of it.
Speaker 11 (14:53):
Well, then you could have her buried right here in
Israel and it only costs about two hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Would you like to see a brochure?
Speaker 7 (14:59):
No?
Speaker 6 (14:59):
One not interested. I want that woman ship back to America.
I don't care how much it costs.
Speaker 11 (15:04):
Certainly i'll have this callway, I'll make the arrange. But
you must have loved her very much to go to
all this expense.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
The Monday doesn't bother me. I just don't want her
buried in Israel.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Well why not? Well?
Speaker 6 (15:14):
I hear one time, about two thousand years ago, they
buried a guy here. Three days later he came back.
I can't afford to check.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
What you hope you've enjoyed, John Boy and Billy playhouse
no more.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That's brisket. That's what killed then.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Again, next time we'll hear the crusty old Hurst driver
at Kennedy Airport say, hey, big man.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Let me hold the dollar.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Oh, good morning, dollars. It's your old granny club. You know,
the best way to start your day.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I don't buy that crap.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Want a balanced breakfast.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Listening to job Boy Belly on the Big Show is
low in fact and high and fun.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
And who the hell can't get behind that old Patrick?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
If time for my spongebath?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Whoa good morning The Big Show is hol the radio
(16:42):
on this Monday morning, thirty minutes away from John Boyd Jeopardy.
They got a brand new edition of Dumb Crook News.
Thanks to you big show listeners helping us out with
that man. We've got too many dumb crooks. They all
have to go. Well, we're cutting the pile again here
in uh next hour. Yes, we'll be going to dude
hang out. Is Buzz Nutley out?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Is he ever?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Hang on? We got we gotta get to him sometime
this morning to good morning, A big show is on
the radio. That's gonna getting this John boyche everything and
get us a winner. We're gonna go do we get one?
All right? Might as well be you y'all listen up.
Sometimes kids are just too darned honest. When kids between
four and six were asked what they love most, mom
(17:29):
came in second. This was number one. What is boogers
bill as a favorite kid? Question? No, that was number four.
What do you think?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
One?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Eight hundred big show you totally line across America will
tell her? Calor nine, go do we get a winter?
Speaker 7 (17:48):
Let's do it?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Good morning of it shows on your radio about the
hour and yeah, that's time. Yes, live across America. It's
Jump Jeff per Day.
Speaker 8 (18:33):
And now your host just invited to be the keynote
speaker for a nude recreation week in Chestney, South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
He's John Moore, Dan he know to my little friend.
Hello sanday Alamoo, Tunka, Alabama. How you doing this morning?
To Sandy?
Speaker 3 (18:55):
How are y'all this morning?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Your baby? All right, Sandy, here we go. Sometimes kids
just too darned on us. When kids between four and
six where as what they love most? Mom came in second.
This was number one Christmas show us Christmas. I said, good, yes,
(19:16):
you know, man, Christmas, that's my favorite time. Y'all. Remember
getting to see his catalog about August Santa Claus. I
thought Santa Claus shopping at Sears. So I was about
twenty five, you know he did? Can somebody you sure can?
Speaker 4 (19:35):
My husband David?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
All right? What's David doing? He's on his way to.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
A power plant, to a pie plant him and tower.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Oh power him and Darryl all right? Well, hey, did
the boys say any thanks for playing baby?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Thanks?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Baby? He alright, let's go over Columbia, South Carolina. Darryl online, Hello, Darryl. Hey,
good at what you're thinking about? A first time calling it? Buddy?
Who's that howling? John Bore?
Speaker 9 (20:12):
Oh that's my boss. Been trying to get to this
for like three or four years now and he probably
made it in.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
No why why why?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
But darrel, y'all put your hands together. The number one
thing kids love.
Speaker 9 (20:26):
When I ask, I believe that'd be candy.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
John Boy.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Sure was candy, John Boy.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
As that took somebody.
Speaker 9 (20:38):
All right, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Dawn, thank you all for playing buddy, appreciate y'all listening.
Speaker 7 (20:42):
All right?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
All right, look, hey, too tall is up out of Jacksonville,
North Carolina? What's that in TT? What's going on that?
John Boy is looking for winter?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Man?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
What you doing this morning? I'm up here walking. I'm
out of Wilmington, but I mean Jacksonville. I was about
a year or so in person, and uh that real
good time to do. Yeah, man, we good.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
Remember he hit his head on the.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Doorway ken here.
Speaker 7 (21:04):
You'll call me too dumb one time I'm gonna make
I'm gonna make up for it.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
All right, what you got I scream show us ice cream?
Don't no? What should we call you?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Now?
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Time loser?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Two time? Alright Dudell. We'll see again, Buddy, we go.
All right, Dan John at a Little Hocking, Ohio.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
Hello John, Hey, John Boy, how you doing doing very fine?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
You okay?
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Oh, real good, real good.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Alright. We're looking for what kids ranked they love the
most right before Mom, Well, that's TV show us televisions.
It's television number one, Mom number two and Dad number three.
(22:00):
John graduation. I think a man hold on, Jackie gets information.
We'll get stuff in beautiful Little Hocking, Ohio.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
All right.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
You know I haven't made a movie in years. I
don't miss it. Hollywood is a toilet and they've run
out of paper. You want entertainment, do what I do.
Download the iHeart app and listen to John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Good morning, A Big Show is on your radio, Ladies
and gentlemen. Dumb crooked news in the making. Somebody stole
a thirty foot cowboy off the roof of the Sage
Brush Steakhouse between Wednesday night and Thursday morning. Note demanded
dinner for two for two years, or they would start
(23:20):
cutting off fingers of the cowboy and meling them to
the say.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Shut up now, that shows people, yeah, climbing.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Up on the roof. Now that's very much got John
boy and Billy Fan read net written everything. Kevin.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Notice that really white people will climb a ladder to
go in through the roof of a place to break into.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
There's a perfect good glass door right downstairs.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
You know you're gonna get stuck at you and they
have to call the fire department and have you a
picture in the paper the next day.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
That is somebody's hill a thirty foot cable. Say this
is like family. I mean, you know, to sage Brush
Steakhouse my hometown of Graham. Their mom just getting the
truck is like family. Nous. Sage Brush might be fairly
cause mom got dinner for a year for judging me.
John Boyce soundly contest Graham. I don't think you should
come to shott on the Roofboy, I know you've made
(24:14):
fun of it.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
You know how the news stations, especially the radio newspeople,
will they'll send somebody out on the scene even though
nothing's really going on there.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
We've started that. We had a little budget. So hello,
I'm the idea man. Yeah you are all right, Well,
let's go live to the scene or the sage Brush Steakhouse,
right now can I get that.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Medium and put blue cheese on the salads?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (24:33):
Hello, hello, Hello, This is buzz, not lead, but show
corresponded live on the scene and save.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
That'll be fine.
Speaker 7 (24:41):
Make that to go live on the scene. At the
scene of the kidnapped thirty foot tall stats Brush cowboy.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Buzz, what's going on there right now?
Speaker 7 (24:51):
They kidnapped the thirty foot tall cowboy. We've got police
investigators on the scene dusting for fingerprints, and uh, the
escape route that was taken. Obviously a large vehicle was
necessary to make off with a thirty foot tall cowboy.
They found a ransom note saying that they will return
(25:11):
the cowboy intact if they receive free meals for two years,
and if they don't, if their demands are not met
in very short order, they will start amputating parts of
the cowboy and mailing them to stage Brush officials. Seems
to be a slight flaw and they're playing. According to
(25:33):
my calculations, a thirty foot tall cowboy would have fingers
about four foot long. Now, the shipping costs alone to
mail such digits would be wouldn't preclude any sort of
beneficial outcome. One can only assume that they'd run out
of money before they got to a real arm or
(25:54):
a lake. Yeah, unless we're talking about a very well
old financed group of kidnappers here.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
H oh they so uh so. I guess we'll just
we'll just keep a covernor story as it develops. Buzz
just a.
Speaker 7 (26:10):
Second, Yeah, I put them if it's not the worthly.
This is Buzz not late, live on the scene, covering
the story as it develops for the John Blain, Billy Big, Yes,
Cobbler Peat. If you've got this is Buzz, not late off.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
There's a big show on the radio right now. It's
time for dumb cook newsdam Coros, George Gleef, Newspabies and
wire services across America, most of them sent it by
you to be show listener and the address. We'll follow
this report. A prisoner walked away from a work release
(27:16):
program in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, on July fourth, his Independence Days
celebration into a short time later when he checked into
a nearby comfort inn. When guests played with cash, he
required to show photo identification. Well, the man gave the
desk clerk the only thing he had, his prison ID card. Well,
the clerk did a quick cross check discovered her guest
was the inmate who had walked away from the half
(27:38):
way house. He was back there a short time later.
I guess Sir A policeman and Stuart Florida, who pulled
over a twenty three year old man for speeding, suspected
the man who had been drinking and called for a
Sheriff's deputy the helping perform a roadside sobriety test. The
driver tried to get out of the dui jars by
offering the cops a bribe, but not just any bribe,
(27:58):
A police spokesman says. The suspect to buy his freedom
by offering the cops a stack of discount coupons from
Dunkin Donuts, Flowing a superhuman display of willpower. The officers
managed to resist the offer and hauled the man off
to jail.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
Good job guys.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
A petty thief spent the afternoon cruising the baggage claim
areas at London's Gatwick Airport in search of valuable luggage
to steal. He made possibly the worst possible choice by
stealing a bag that belonged to former world super middleweight
boxing champion Nigel Binn. The champ chased down the thief
and wrapped him in a firm headlock until police arrived.
(28:38):
The police officer who stopped a man in London for
a minor traffic violation noticed an accordion'stash behind the driver's seat.
When question, the man told the officer he had been
using the accordion to perform on street corners for tips.
But the cop was a bit suspicious about the story,
since the accordion still had a price tag attached to it.
But the officer asked the driver to demonstrate his talent
(28:58):
by playing a few bars of Lady of Spain. Well.
When the man was unable to get anything even vaguely
resembling music out of the instrument, he was arrested for shoplifting.
Geezy cop ever pulled me when I had my trumpet
in the river. The mass man tried to rob a
pharmacy in Marsville, Wisconsin, using a classic finger as a
(29:19):
gunploy might have worked better if it struck the finger
in his pocket instead of simply pointing it at the
man behind the counter. So the cashier found himself staring
down the barrel of a bare finger. He said, you've
got to be kidding, then grabbed the man's finger and
pulled his mask off. Suspect, who fled the scene was
(29:39):
well known for several previous attempts to forge prescriptions at
the store, and he was quickly tracked down by police.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Drop the finger and come out.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Three Canadian teenagers stole a boat from a dock in Bridgewater,
Nova Scotia and took it for a joy ride. After
getting there Jolly's, the teens ran the boat of ground
and decided to set it on fire to destroy the evidence.
The trio apparently didn't know they had come ashore not
on the mainland, but on a small, uninhabited island, and
that the only way back to civilation was there stolen boat,
(30:11):
which was by now completely engulfed in flames. Several hours later,
the teens were rescued, then arrested, and finally a shop
lifting hipster carefully removed the anti theft tags from a
dozen items of clothing at an Abercumbriy and Fitch store
in Tulsa, Oklahoma, then attempted a low key getaway there
(30:32):
would be thief was shocked when the store's alarm when office.
He made his exit. A po Lisa after the man
pulled the tags off the clothing. He attempted to hide
them by sticking them in his pants pocket. Good move,
I's going there. Why on a you have dumbcrut news.
Mail to dumb crut News, John woyn Millet piobox one
(30:55):
Charlotte and see two eight two one nine.
Speaker 5 (30:58):
And remember, criminals, it's time to tear so you don't burn.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
You who part time receptionist, Bab's wrangler and still a
size six pill. McCracken here telling you that no matter
which way you swing, there's something for everyone right here
on the Big Show with John Boy and Billy. I mean,
as long as your expectations aren't too high, and you
don't mind that it's coated in grillin sauce.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
To the mini Cooper. Carry on straight.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
People, Good morning, it's a big show on the radio.
(32:00):
Toward Kernavan's quiz time. He's just wait for you to
join the winners. Oh, don't worry about it. Don't you
think about this. And he's a way for you to
get in there going through this mail here, dear show leader.
Oh we got letter, We get your letter.
Speaker 7 (32:20):
Say yes today. I love those letters, no matter what
I say.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Boy, dear Big Show. I know you get thousands of
letters every day, so just put mine anywhere on the pile.
After almost thirteen years of living in Mississippi, I'm finally
moving to North Carolina. My son is a Special Forces
soldier at Fort Bragg, so is his wife of a
(32:55):
nine month old son who needs his grammy to be
with him. So I'm packing up all my up and
moving to Fayettevielle. What does this have to do with you?
Not a darn things. But I wanted you to know
that here in Mississippi you were listening to by Great Messes.
I've laughed so hard, I've cried and almost wet my pants.
You even kept me from getting a ticket once when
the police officer heard Mad Max, he laughed so hard
(33:18):
he didn't give me one. Thanks for that. The Big
Show is discussed in high schools, in my office now,
at the coffee Machine where I work, At restaurants and
sporting events, no matter where I go, you're well known
and discussed. Bet you don't even know how popular you
are here. I'm excited to moving closer to hear more
and maybe even run into one of you. I've had
a crush on one of the crews. Since I can remember,
(33:48):
it's signed Rammage, so I'm guessing that's rightful. Yeah, bro,
have had him granted. Good luck? Shut up? Okay, oh
thank you. I've been needing to picture me and Billy.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
I think you're supposed to sign that.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Well, good morning. It's a big show and already over
a back dead when I hide you ready, bet I
can wring that curnaviitch Quinn's time. When are we dealing
with big Leans?
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Celebrity corner A Madonna update?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Madonna update? I think I saw her on TV the
other day. I don't know if she changes look so often.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
Yep, all right, Well she's always reinventing.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Her good lucks on negatives out of the road.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
You'll find one that works pretty soon, I think.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
All right, good luck to her. Well, let's deal with
it one eight hundred big shows. You're tolvery line across America.
Be calling nine, take see and win right now,
What go now, go now?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Okay, good morning Stan Higgins here.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Nothing makes my day like a chance to pipe in
on John Boy and Billy here in the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
But I don't come here just to see them.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
I'm not a gay.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I come here for the eye Candy, Babs, Jackie and
Fader and Fanny's got a sweet.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
To How is that? Good morning? The Big Show is
(00:58):
on the radio on in here, Boys and girls Monday?
Do you light a seven? Have a big Independence Day?
Weekend off? Mad at? Don't look like y'all mess yourself
up too bad? Thanks everybody who made my weekend at
the beach a living hell. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
I talked to him Sunday at fund It sounded more
like they were sick of him than him.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
They're not really gonna stop the car, just gonna slow down,
push me out. It's tough, inner ship's captain taking responsibility
ordering people around.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Did you say that life trying to.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Save lives out there?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Those and absolutely you mean you had to order people
around and really do nothing yourself on weekend?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
How did you manage? Oh lady, y'all, y'all ain't gonna
believe this.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Wait, now, you got just been talking about for like
two minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I'm great as Jackie told you about this. Jack was
taking to the airport on Friday, right, well, no guy
catches me in the parking lot with us z D.
We put it in it and just loved it. Ricious. Yes,
it's hit music material, you know, like I found trailer
park trash.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
You mean trailer fabulous or are you talking about the
guy who did trailer fabulous?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah, that's right, all my trailer songs you're starting, Yeah, yeah, yeah, trailer.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
The world's largest collection of trailer.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Man, is it up there with white trash Christmas?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Uh? It's one that you will be humming later in
the day whether you want to or not here, no
matter how hard you try not to. I was right.
Oh well so anyway, we we gotta do that pretty soon.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Oh yeah, hey, y'all get my new song. Oh man,
we gonna give you legs and were gonna play this
out first game. Somebody's gonna be a winter first thing
this Monday morning in minutes, good morning, A big show
(03:00):
was already. Oh let's say, by the way, happy birthday
to Pillars. Jeff Pillars had his birthday yesterday.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
How he go agony from stretch.
Speaker 6 (03:11):
There could have been one thing that would have made
it perfect that if my family had stayed on vacation,
nerve racking, I mean just from bed, enough boyfriends over
the house all the time. He's like a cross between
Jerry Lewis and Gomer Pile on speed. There's no such
(03:33):
thing as a comfortable silence with this kid.
Speaker 7 (03:35):
It's like.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
He just never shuts up.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Oh but what what kind of president? Did you get it?
You know, I got what I wanted.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
I got a I got a fountain from my office,
you know, a cascade found from my office, which I
always I love the sound of running water when I'm morning.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
You'll never be so many.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Times, and uh, this and that and the other thing.
But the big surprise, Get this box.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
It's huge. I open it up. Bongos.
Speaker 6 (04:07):
Now, what in the hell would lead somebody to believe
that I would want a pair of damn bongo.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
You can't be sad when you're playing the bongos. I
just some of your aggression exactly something you can beat on.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
I thought, I said, birth, this is that mechanized Godzilla
that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I open it up and I lift the lid, and
I'm going yeah. What was my name, Maynard G.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Krebs or something?
Speaker 6 (04:36):
And I just looked over at my web and I said,
what's this? Well, that one time you were talking about bongos,
and I thought this, I said, I mentioned I wanted
to I'd always wanted when I was younger, a pair
of standing conga drums.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
When I was when I was younger, to conga drums,
I said.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
They you can stand up?
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Put these between my knees. You know how sad that is.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Why don't you just let my hair turn great and
I'll grow a ponytail that'll make me look even sadder.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Now pierce my ear?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
How about that? Why don't you just kill me?
Speaker 6 (05:09):
Now?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Up?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
And all I wanted was a meganized Godzilla. All I
wanted was the Godzilla joy rise up and just try
you all.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
God boggles now, George, you appreciate those gifts those children
give you.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
But mama, Oh well, well, happy birthday, buddy, days on
go get better from here.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh boy, it's your day.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Have it? Ye're whoa, that's like a three days in history.
This will be our categories here your legs up? Outburst
July seventh and fifteen fifty, Europe, introduced the first chocolate.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Actually was the first chocolate in Europe. I think, you know,
the Mayans and the and the ancient Mexicans had been
doing chocolate, and that Columbus brought the beans back to Europe.
And I think it took a while for to really
catch her.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Because fourteen ninety two Columbus sell the ocean blue who
can't retain anything for school? So Europe got the child there.
And you say ancient Mexicans.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
The Mians, you know, the ancient they were ancient Mexicans.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Oh, why isn't it Mayo coo?
Speaker 5 (06:18):
They lost?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Okay, trying to learn something. Let's move up to nineteen
eighty two. A drunken man named Michael Fagan quietly broke
into Buckingham Palace, where he managed to find the bedroom
of Queen Elizabeth. He woke her and had a rambling
conversation with her while sitting on the end of her bed.
Speaker 5 (06:42):
I often think fish must get awfully tired. What are
your thought, Squeenie?
Speaker 1 (06:48):
I didn't turn that well out here though.
Speaker 5 (06:51):
What that Prince Philip got she's married.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
That's probably the first guy in her bedroom in a
damn long time. Oh yeah, it's what's spent a lot
of time in the CaMV. Let's move up to nineteen
ninety six, Synbotics Corporation of Rancho Bernardo, California became the
(07:13):
first US company to extend group healthcare coverage to its
sixty employees family pets, including dogs, cats, and horses. And well,
we're gonna get down to Obama to white.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
This.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
No, we're gonna have to eat our animals. There you go.
There's three categories. Who wants to play? One? Eight hundred
Big show? You told free Line. We'll play Outburst, next
(08:09):
up Finday Morning, make show us on the radio.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
Right now.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
My brother's wearing Upburst.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Let's play Uppers. It's the game that anyone can win,
John Boy and Billy. We gave the prizes from the
big prize being. Let's go make contest the number one.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing upperst have a hurry up and gust time.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You have the best time. You love a big shots.
Say hey, the town from Danville for Virginia. We shots hell.
Speaker 9 (08:59):
Hello, damn, what's going on? Man?
Speaker 10 (09:01):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
Man? Getting back in that work grew? What about you?
You all right?
Speaker 7 (09:05):
Yeah? Man?
Speaker 9 (09:06):
Doing good?
Speaker 1 (09:06):
All right? Good tam, glad you made it through here, buddy.
See me get through these three categories and join the winners.
Are you ready? Yes, sir? In five seconds? Three chocolate
detreats ready go.
Speaker 9 (09:19):
Eminem, chocolate kisses and chocolate chip cookies.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Ah good chocolate. Alright now, Tim, we need three royal
family members.
Speaker 9 (09:30):
Ready go, Prince Charles, Queen Elizabeth and Prince William.
Speaker 5 (09:36):
Yeh yeah, yeah, all right?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Now, which one's a wild prince? Is that?
Speaker 6 (09:40):
What?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Harry?
Speaker 10 (09:41):
No, that's Harry. That's the redheaded guy, Harry. All right,
let'll go Herr as far as I know, God Tam,
here me go, buddy. Final category for the win three
forms of insurance.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
Ready go, uh, State Farm, blue Cross, blue Shill, and Travelers.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
All right, man, I appreciated a whole lot. Jones, A
big joke, can.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yo morning, rednecks.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
This is your pompa dis of love. I Turner enjoying
the hell out of my retirement, drinking malt liquors, eating nies.
And when I get to Jones in for a cracker
to go with it, I tune into John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show. If why I done lost
my appetite for crackers.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio. You
loosen mail coming over the weekend. Dear Big Show friends.
We have a number of club members who are fans
of viewers who out the Carolinas enjoy National Nude Recreation
week Huh, we'll be skinny, dipping, relaxing, and de stressing.
You visit Carolina Foothills Resort just north of Spartanburg and Chesney,
(11:22):
South Carolina, and enjoy yourselves as well. Have a wonderful summer,
Sherry Alexander. So there's gonna be at least one girl.
(12:05):
Good morning to make shows. Already about ten away for
the hour. That's time.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode a
death in the family. As our story opens, an American
tourist and his wife are seated in a waiting room
at the US Consulate in Jerusalem.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Oh, Myron, she's gone.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
My beautiful mother is gone.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
How could this happen?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Maybe she got a good look at you. What do
you mean how she was eighty eight years old and
thatpens every day.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
But Myron, why did she have to drop dead right
here in the middle of the happiest moment of her life?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
I asked myself say a question on the wedding day.
Why couldn't I.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Who knows why?
Speaker 6 (12:58):
Before somebody comes out, You're gonna it'll be the Schmunt's
hanging out of your nose.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
No on the side, Yeah right, I'm not gonna touch it.
You're gonna get to get it yourself.
Speaker 11 (13:07):
Excuse me, mister and missus Greg Glenna and Frank fees Lee,
Deputy Secretary to the Assistant Vice Counsel. I'm Torri Savage
is able to get lost.
Speaker 6 (13:17):
Something that speaks youshe Why don't you go?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Why don't you go win to the lobby.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
I can.
Speaker 11 (13:25):
There's a break room down the hall if you'd like
to get something to drink. Ma'am, thank you much, you're
you're quiet, welcome.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
I thought she'd never leave. I'll tell you that woman's
a basket kiss I imagine.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So how old was your late mother in law? Eighty eight?
Speaker 6 (13:43):
Next nothing? For the last ten years, it's been one
thing after another. First, she lost a nye like Sammy
Davis Julia. Five years ago. They gave her an artificial knee.
Last year she had a total hip replacement. I'll tell
you this was not a woman this was the Timonadu.
Surprised she was able to make such a long trip
her age. Let me tell you something, she's been talking
(14:03):
about coming to Israel ever since I can remember. We
scrimp and saved for years. I paid for this trip.
That's that's ungrateful.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's what that is. What am I gonna do with
that return ticket?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And what happens?
Speaker 6 (14:17):
We've been off, We've been off the airport shuttled bus
for thirty seconds. Kaboom, she drops dead right than the
lumpy of the Sheraton Bluzzo white could did have been
the cheap bot. So anyway, the guy at the hospital said,
you could help us with getting the body back to
New York.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yes, sir, we can do that.
Speaker 11 (14:31):
I should warn you shipping a body to the United
States could be very expensive, as much as five thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Thousand dollars, yes, sir, she's not gonna shoot what you're
gonna have a meaning?
Speaker 11 (14:43):
Now, there is a less expensive option you may want
to consider.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Ups not exactly now, was she of Jewish descent?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Oh you don't know the half of it.
Speaker 11 (14:53):
Well, then you could have her buried right here in
Israel and it only costs about two hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Would you like to see a brochure?
Speaker 7 (14:59):
No?
Speaker 6 (14:59):
One not interested. I want that woman ship back to America.
I don't care how much it costs.
Speaker 11 (15:04):
Certainly i'll have this callway, I'll make the arrange. But
you must have loved her very much to go to
all this expense.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
The Monday doesn't bother me. I just don't want her
buried in Israel.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Well why not? Well?
Speaker 6 (15:14):
I hear one time, about two thousand years ago, they
buried a guy here. Three days later he came back.
I can't afford to check.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
What you hope you've enjoyed, John Boy and Billy playhouse
no more.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
That's brisket. That's what killed then.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Again, next time we'll hear the crusty old Hurst driver
at Kennedy Airport say, hey, big man.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Let me hold the dollar.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Oh, good morning, dollars. It's your old granny club. You know,
the best way to start your day.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I don't buy that crap.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Want a balanced breakfast.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Listening to job Boy Belly on the Big Show is
low in fact and high and fun.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
And who the hell can't get behind that old Patrick?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
If time for my spongebath?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Whoa good morning The Big Show is hol the radio
(16:42):
on this Monday morning, thirty minutes away from John Boyd Jeopardy.
They got a brand new edition of Dumb Crook News.
Thanks to you big show listeners helping us out with
that man. We've got too many dumb crooks. They all
have to go. Well, we're cutting the pile again here
in uh next hour. Yes, we'll be going to dude
hang out. Is Buzz Nutley out?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Is he ever?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Hang on? We got we gotta get to him sometime
this morning to good morning, A big show is on
the radio. That's gonna getting this John boyche everything and
get us a winner. We're gonna go do we get one?
All right? Might as well be you y'all listen up.
Sometimes kids are just too darned honest. When kids between
four and six were asked what they love most, mom
(17:29):
came in second. This was number one. What is boogers
bill as a favorite kid? Question? No, that was number four.
What do you think?
Speaker 6 (17:44):
One?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Eight hundred big show you totally line across America will
tell her? Calor nine, go do we get a winter?
Speaker 7 (17:48):
Let's do it?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Good morning of it shows on your radio about the
hour and yeah, that's time. Yes, live across America. It's
Jump Jeff per Day.
Speaker 8 (18:33):
And now your host just invited to be the keynote
speaker for a nude recreation week in Chestney, South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
He's John Moore, Dan he know to my little friend.
Hello sanday Alamoo, Tunka, Alabama. How you doing this morning?
To Sandy?
Speaker 3 (18:55):
How are y'all this morning?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Your baby? All right, Sandy, here we go. Sometimes kids
just too darned on us. When kids between four and
six where as what they love most? Mom came in second.
This was number one Christmas show us Christmas. I said, good, yes,
(19:16):
you know, man, Christmas, that's my favorite time. Y'all. Remember
getting to see his catalog about August Santa Claus. I
thought Santa Claus shopping at Sears. So I was about
twenty five, you know he did? Can somebody you sure can?
Speaker 4 (19:35):
My husband David?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
All right? What's David doing? He's on his way to.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
A power plant, to a pie plant him and tower.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Oh power him and Darryl all right? Well, hey, did
the boys say any thanks for playing baby?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
Thanks?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Baby? He alright, let's go over Columbia, South Carolina. Darryl online, Hello, Darryl. Hey,
good at what you're thinking about? A first time calling it? Buddy?
Who's that howling? John Bore?
Speaker 9 (20:12):
Oh that's my boss. Been trying to get to this
for like three or four years now and he probably
made it in.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
No why why why?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
But darrel, y'all put your hands together. The number one
thing kids love.
Speaker 9 (20:26):
When I ask, I believe that'd be candy.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
John Boy.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Sure was candy, John Boy.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
As that took somebody.
Speaker 9 (20:38):
All right, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Dawn, thank you all for playing buddy, appreciate y'all listening.
Speaker 7 (20:42):
All right?
Speaker 1 (20:43):
All right, look, hey, too tall is up out of Jacksonville,
North Carolina? What's that in TT? What's going on that?
John Boy is looking for winter?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Man?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
What you doing this morning? I'm up here walking. I'm
out of Wilmington, but I mean Jacksonville. I was about
a year or so in person, and uh that real
good time to do. Yeah, man, we good.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
Remember he hit his head on the.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
Doorway ken here.
Speaker 7 (21:04):
You'll call me too dumb one time I'm gonna make
I'm gonna make up for it.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
All right, what you got I scream show us ice cream?
Don't no? What should we call you?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Now?
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Time loser?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Two time? Alright Dudell. We'll see again, Buddy, we go.
All right, Dan John at a Little Hocking, Ohio.
Speaker 5 (21:28):
Hello John, Hey, John Boy, how you doing doing very fine?
Speaker 1 (21:32):
You okay?
Speaker 7 (21:33):
Oh, real good, real good.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Alright. We're looking for what kids ranked they love the
most right before Mom, Well, that's TV show us televisions.
It's television number one, Mom number two and Dad number three.
(22:00):
John graduation. I think a man hold on, Jackie gets information.
We'll get stuff in beautiful Little Hocking, Ohio.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
All right.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
You know I haven't made a movie in years. I
don't miss it. Hollywood is a toilet and they've run
out of paper. You want entertainment, do what I do.
Download the iHeart app and listen to John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Good morning, A Big Show is on your radio, Ladies
and gentlemen. Dumb crooked news in the making. Somebody stole
a thirty foot cowboy off the roof of the Sage
Brush Steakhouse between Wednesday night and Thursday morning. Note demanded
dinner for two for two years, or they would start
(23:20):
cutting off fingers of the cowboy and meling them to
the say.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Shut up now, that shows people, yeah, climbing.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Up on the roof. Now that's very much got John
boy and Billy Fan read net written everything. Kevin.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Notice that really white people will climb a ladder to
go in through the roof of a place to break into.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
There's a perfect good glass door right downstairs.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
You know you're gonna get stuck at you and they
have to call the fire department and have you a
picture in the paper the next day.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
That is somebody's hill a thirty foot cable. Say this
is like family. I mean, you know, to sage Brush
Steakhouse my hometown of Graham. Their mom just getting the
truck is like family. Nous. Sage Brush might be fairly
cause mom got dinner for a year for judging me.
John Boyce soundly contest Graham. I don't think you should
come to shott on the Roofboy, I know you've made
(24:14):
fun of it.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
You know how the news stations, especially the radio newspeople,
will they'll send somebody out on the scene even though
nothing's really going on there.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
We've started that. We had a little budget. So hello,
I'm the idea man. Yeah you are all right, Well,
let's go live to the scene or the sage Brush Steakhouse,
right now can I get that.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Medium and put blue cheese on the salads?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (24:33):
Hello, hello, Hello, This is buzz, not lead, but show
corresponded live on the scene and save.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
That'll be fine.
Speaker 7 (24:41):
Make that to go live on the scene. At the
scene of the kidnapped thirty foot tall stats Brush cowboy.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Buzz, what's going on there right now?
Speaker 7 (24:51):
They kidnapped the thirty foot tall cowboy. We've got police
investigators on the scene dusting for fingerprints, and uh, the
escape route that was taken. Obviously a large vehicle was
necessary to make off with a thirty foot tall cowboy.
They found a ransom note saying that they will return
(25:11):
the cowboy intact if they receive free meals for two years,
and if they don't, if their demands are not met
in very short order, they will start amputating parts of
the cowboy and mailing them to stage Brush officials. Seems
to be a slight flaw and they're playing. According to
(25:33):
my calculations, a thirty foot tall cowboy would have fingers
about four foot long. Now, the shipping costs alone to
mail such digits would be wouldn't preclude any sort of
beneficial outcome. One can only assume that they'd run out
of money before they got to a real arm or
(25:54):
a lake. Yeah, unless we're talking about a very well
old financed group of kidnappers here.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
H oh they so uh so. I guess we'll just
we'll just keep a covernor story as it develops. Buzz
just a.
Speaker 7 (26:10):
Second, Yeah, I put them if it's not the worthly.
This is Buzz not late, live on the scene, covering
the story as it develops for the John Blain, Billy Big, Yes,
Cobbler Peat. If you've got this is Buzz, not late off.
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
There's a big show on the radio right now. It's
time for dumb cook newsdam Coros, George Gleef, Newspabies and
wire services across America, most of them sent it by
you to be show listener and the address. We'll follow
this report. A prisoner walked away from a work release
(27:16):
program in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, on July fourth, his Independence Days
celebration into a short time later when he checked into
a nearby comfort inn. When guests played with cash, he
required to show photo identification. Well, the man gave the
desk clerk the only thing he had, his prison ID card. Well,
the clerk did a quick cross check discovered her guest
was the inmate who had walked away from the half
(27:38):
way house. He was back there a short time later.
I guess Sir A policeman and Stuart Florida, who pulled
over a twenty three year old man for speeding, suspected
the man who had been drinking and called for a
Sheriff's deputy the helping perform a roadside sobriety test. The
driver tried to get out of the dui jars by
offering the cops a bribe, but not just any bribe,
(27:58):
A police spokesman says. The suspect to buy his freedom
by offering the cops a stack of discount coupons from
Dunkin Donuts, Flowing a superhuman display of willpower. The officers
managed to resist the offer and hauled the man off
to jail.
Speaker 5 (28:14):
Good job guys.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
A petty thief spent the afternoon cruising the baggage claim
areas at London's Gatwick Airport in search of valuable luggage
to steal. He made possibly the worst possible choice by
stealing a bag that belonged to former world super middleweight
boxing champion Nigel Binn. The champ chased down the thief
and wrapped him in a firm headlock until police arrived.
(28:38):
The police officer who stopped a man in London for
a minor traffic violation noticed an accordion'stash behind the driver's seat.
When question, the man told the officer he had been
using the accordion to perform on street corners for tips.
But the cop was a bit suspicious about the story,
since the accordion still had a price tag attached to it.
But the officer asked the driver to demonstrate his talent
(28:58):
by playing a few bars of Lady of Spain. Well.
When the man was unable to get anything even vaguely
resembling music out of the instrument, he was arrested for shoplifting.
Geezy cop ever pulled me when I had my trumpet
in the river. The mass man tried to rob a
pharmacy in Marsville, Wisconsin, using a classic finger as a
(29:19):
gunploy might have worked better if it struck the finger
in his pocket instead of simply pointing it at the
man behind the counter. So the cashier found himself staring
down the barrel of a bare finger. He said, you've
got to be kidding, then grabbed the man's finger and
pulled his mask off. Suspect, who fled the scene was
(29:39):
well known for several previous attempts to forge prescriptions at
the store, and he was quickly tracked down by police.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Drop the finger and come out.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Three Canadian teenagers stole a boat from a dock in Bridgewater,
Nova Scotia and took it for a joy ride. After
getting there Jolly's, the teens ran the boat of ground
and decided to set it on fire to destroy the evidence.
The trio apparently didn't know they had come ashore not
on the mainland, but on a small, uninhabited island, and
that the only way back to civilation was there stolen boat,
(30:11):
which was by now completely engulfed in flames. Several hours later,
the teens were rescued, then arrested, and finally a shop
lifting hipster carefully removed the anti theft tags from a
dozen items of clothing at an Abercumbriy and Fitch store
in Tulsa, Oklahoma, then attempted a low key getaway there
(30:32):
would be thief was shocked when the store's alarm when office.
He made his exit. A po Lisa after the man
pulled the tags off the clothing. He attempted to hide
them by sticking them in his pants pocket. Good move,
I's going there. Why on a you have dumbcrut news.
Mail to dumb crut News, John woyn Millet piobox one
(30:55):
Charlotte and see two eight two one nine.
Speaker 5 (30:58):
And remember, criminals, it's time to tear so you don't burn.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
You who part time receptionist, Bab's wrangler and still a
size six pill. McCracken here telling you that no matter
which way you swing, there's something for everyone right here
on the Big Show with John Boy and Billy. I mean,
as long as your expectations aren't too high, and you
don't mind that it's coated in grillin sauce.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
To the mini Cooper. Carry on straight.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
People, Good morning, it's a big show on the radio.
(32:00):
Toward Kernavan's quiz time. He's just wait for you to
join the winners. Oh, don't worry about it. Don't you
think about this. And he's a way for you to
get in there going through this mail here, dear show leader.
Oh we got letter, We get your letter.
Speaker 7 (32:20):
Say yes today. I love those letters, no matter what
I say.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Boy, dear Big Show. I know you get thousands of
letters every day, so just put mine anywhere on the pile.
After almost thirteen years of living in Mississippi, I'm finally
moving to North Carolina. My son is a Special Forces
soldier at Fort Bragg, so is his wife of a
(32:55):
nine month old son who needs his grammy to be
with him. So I'm packing up all my up and
moving to Fayettevielle. What does this have to do with you?
Not a darn things. But I wanted you to know
that here in Mississippi you were listening to by Great Messes.
I've laughed so hard, I've cried and almost wet my pants.
You even kept me from getting a ticket once when
the police officer heard Mad Max, he laughed so hard
(33:18):
he didn't give me one. Thanks for that. The Big
Show is discussed in high schools, in my office now,
at the coffee Machine where I work, At restaurants and
sporting events, no matter where I go, you're well known
and discussed. Bet you don't even know how popular you
are here. I'm excited to moving closer to hear more
and maybe even run into one of you. I've had
a crush on one of the crews. Since I can remember,
(33:48):
it's signed Rammage, so I'm guessing that's rightful. Yeah, bro,
have had him granted. Good luck? Shut up? Okay, oh
thank you. I've been needing to picture me and Billy.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
I think you're supposed to sign that.
Speaker 1 (34:06):
Well, good morning. It's a big show and already over
a back dead when I hide you ready, bet I
can wring that curnaviitch Quinn's time. When are we dealing
with big Leans?
Speaker 5 (34:14):
Celebrity corner A Madonna update?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Madonna update? I think I saw her on TV the
other day. I don't know if she changes look so often.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
Yep, all right, Well she's always reinventing.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
Her good lucks on negatives out of the road.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
You'll find one that works pretty soon, I think.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
All right, good luck to her. Well, let's deal with
it one eight hundred big shows. You're tolvery line across America.
Be calling nine, take see and win right now,
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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