December 5, 2023 • 43 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll follow along as Married Man and his sidekicks get some actual superpowers.. - John Boy claims he’s a card carrying member of Mensa - but we doubt it.. - The Rabbi reviews the new flick, “The Marvels”.. - and Lipless gets his turn at karaoke..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good barning Big Show listeners, this is the Honorable Mayor
Merwin Hugh fiddle swap Uh I'm missinggan oh fiddle swoop.
It's a beautiful day in Dismal seep Inch, South Carolina,
and it's even better when we're listening to the John
Boy and Billy Big Sal Mister Nage Big Show. But
that reminds me come on down for the forty second
(00:21):
annual Dismal Seepach Big Sal Festival.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah that one spelled correctly. Cogging doodle doo, having out them.
(01:04):
It is Monday, checking off the first full weekend December
to day we head toward Christmas time. The whole gang
is in here ready to go. Hang hole gang, I
mean okay, yeah, Well it's National Santa's List Day. Check out.
(01:25):
Who knowed it? In Nice, there's National Wildlife Conservation Day, Alise.
People don't know anything about hunters and hang you go
out there and getting ploms. Actually, the hunters do more
for wildlife conservation than anybody else because we buy license
and we help them. We want them to replenish, and
(01:46):
that's the way and that's the way it works there,
So be thankful for a hunters.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
You want to see more deer on the side of
the highway or in your windshield.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, I support your local hunter as a good eat too. Yeah, man,
I like that a lot of times. You know, you
put enough venison back for you and your family and
then you donate it to a food kitchens. You suit
kitchen stuff like that. You know a lot of boys
that do the very good stuff. All right, let's see
(02:15):
three more national days, National Sock Day, National Dice Day,
and National Cookie Day. So wear some socks, play some craps,
and eat a cookie, and don't shoot anything without a
hunting license. Okay, y'all get all that, yep, kind of
bossy first Thurday morning, All right, help, we got three
(02:39):
days in this received up. Get the first prize pack
out and get the winning beginning. That's a playing on outbursts,
because we're awaiting the big shows on a radio. Good morning,
big shows on a radio. First prize pack one hundred
and twenty dollars worth of bulls not cleaning products made
in the USA up for grabs. Truck drivers keep America moving,
(02:59):
and bulls not make sure they look good doing it.
Liver bulls not at truck stops across America. Go to
Brownox dot com. I was even just click at banner
at the bag show dot com. I have three dates
in history where we get our categories. Think along with us.
December fourth, it was eighteen twelve. The power more was
patented by Peter and Gilliard of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Now eighteen
(03:23):
twelve power more? Was it your own power? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
I mean many early.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I was in the sixties pushing one. It didn't have
a motor, you know that little Yeah, so you think.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
There would only be about four or five motors in
the world that long.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Wait a minute, battery power, I bet battery power? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
About that time they started having battery cars.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Is that?
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Man?
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Eighteen twelve?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I want to think, so I have to. I'll google it.
Check on this, all right, Well, think about some power
to power rangers or something. We'll get to it. Nineteen
fifty eight, a little Cessna one seventy two took off
from Lost, Vegas and didn't land until February seventh, nineteen
fifty nine. It was the world's longest airplane flight. Bob
(04:08):
tim and John Cook with continental mid air ref no
continual mid air refueling. That makes sense, I thought it
was an airlines right cotten a continuum mid air refueling. They
stayed up for sixty four days. Man as a small
plane man, why would you do something like it? Well,
we're talking about him.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Good work, boys, never mind. Finally, on this day in
nineteen ninety six, and Denison, Texas a bandit wearing pink
panties over his head, tried to rob a convenience store.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Now there's a why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, when he struck the clerk on the head, she
got up and started throwing Cansas spam at him. She
spammed him right out of the store, marking the first
every case of using spam as a weapon, and it worked.
Good work, all right.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
But there you go.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
There's our three categories one eight hundred Big Shows. You're
toll free live the outburst. We'll do it next. Good morning.
(05:27):
This Big Show on the Radio wrote it to you Monday,
December the fourth. Today is featured track from The Big Show,
Big Box Porky's Blue Christmas. Yes, the original John Boy
laugh session. Search for keywords Porky, I have had it
at the Big Show dot com and right now been
a wakes worth the wedding.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Upburst.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Let's play upburst.
Speaker 8 (05:51):
It's the game that anyone can be shon. Boy, give
the prizes from the big prize p Let's go contested
number one. This should really be a lot of fun
playing ups. Have a hurry up and guest, time you
(06:12):
love the best time you love.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
A big shots.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Let's say have the Michelle from sweet Water. Ten U says,
we have shots. Me shall my bell someday? Monkey play
piano song, piano song?
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Do what now?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I love you, I love you, I love you, you
love the start. Don't make miss Jack up the band.
I don't remember the rest of the words, but good
morning Michelle, A lot of the.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Words you actually say.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Good morning guys, hey by, welcome, all right, get in here,
and helpless. Let's get through these three categories and we'll
be all happy for Michelle and Sweetwater.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So here we go.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Babe. In five seconds, give us three power or landscape tools. Ready, go.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Lower, trimmer, edger, bam, bam.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Now give us three objects that require fuel, ready.
Speaker 9 (07:27):
Go airplane, lawnmower, and cart.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
And for the wind, three things you can put on
your head or even over your head. Ready, go.
Speaker 10 (07:44):
Helmet, bandana.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
And you were ready Foranana sham. One hundred and twenty
dollars of bulls not cleaning products made in the USA
headed to the sweet water for you. All right, by
you hang on. I'm glad you want Michelle. Thanks for
listening being active with us. You hang on, Jackie, hook
you up? All right?
Speaker 9 (08:05):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
If we can use that power more from eighteen twelve,
you found out what it was powered.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Well, my guess was electric. Maybe electric motor, and I'm close.
The first electric motor was eighteen twenty one. But this
power mower, I looked it up and they actually have
photos of it.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It was powered by a horse. I was wondering about that.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Kind of looked like one of those buggy things and
had a mower played on the back.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Man, then you have to dodge the horse duty. You
have one horse power. No, that's fertilizer.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Man, you're taking care of two things at once, blades
and bumba sling it.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Well, we'll work on that later.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Good Monday morning. There's a big show on the radio
now Monday Morning song Robert Earl Keane were going to
live in the Big Shoe Studio. Any boy, That's done
by Robert Earl Keane is being live in a big
show studio.
Speaker 11 (09:36):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
Come on, Jackie, get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 11 (09:43):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right, yes, I'm
tevn the left surbad. Things ain't going my way because
there's always someone swirming in my life.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
You keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 12 (10:08):
And it's causing.
Speaker 13 (10:10):
Lots of banger. I'm a honking on my horror. I'm
shooting you the flame. Keep switching on.
Speaker 7 (10:21):
My bride lines.
Speaker 12 (10:24):
To him.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
When you're swerving all lives high way. You're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 11 (10:36):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never never could
love another.
Speaker 7 (10:46):
How else could I feed? But bowing you run into me.
Speaker 11 (10:55):
I can't believe I could not see her all time
up the only ones.
Speaker 7 (11:02):
At the waiting.
Speaker 13 (11:05):
You keep swarming in my line, just causing lots of bags.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I'm cussing out your name.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
I'm shooting in the fine.
Speaker 13 (11:20):
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
But you're just too dimpty Now when you're swerving.
Speaker 7 (11:29):
All lights, Oh why.
Speaker 6 (11:32):
You're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Good Monday morning, there's a big show on the radio.
All right, there, we'll go.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Action Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode
Night of the Sneaks and Slime Balls. As our story opens,
Ricky b Sharp and his wife Lucy are making preparations
for a wedding reception at the home of Ricky's boss.
So what do you think?
Speaker 12 (12:34):
Wow? Looks great, sweetie, Fresh flowers all over the room,
nice fire in the fireplace. Ma'am, you have done a
bang up job.
Speaker 10 (12:41):
Well, I was glad to help.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Need anything else from me?
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Yup?
Speaker 12 (12:45):
You can park your fine little caboose on that couch
right there till this reception is overwhe do what now?
Speaker 4 (12:51):
I thought I was dead?
Speaker 10 (12:53):
You want me to sit here all evening?
Speaker 12 (12:55):
Yep? You have officially been promoted from gift room decorator
to gift room supervisor. See that fancy basket on the
gift table over there. The boss man's high dollar friends
are gonna fill that basket up with envelopes full of
cash for the big guy's daughter in her new hobby.
Now I need you to stay right here and keep
an eye on that basket.
Speaker 10 (13:14):
Oh how come you can't do it?
Speaker 7 (13:17):
Lucy?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Please?
Speaker 12 (13:21):
I am Dothan's most beloved fast food mascot, The one
and only Pizza Run. I am the public face of
the whole dang run Tipedy Popula's restaurant grew. The big
guy needs me out there, mixing and mingling with the
high rollers.
Speaker 10 (13:37):
Okay, I get confused. Are the high rollers the woods
that are gonna steal the buddy out of the gift basket?
Speaker 12 (13:44):
No, those are the low rollers, A bunch of no
good sneaks and slimeballs, every single one of them.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
What does the boss man know all them?
Speaker 10 (13:53):
Of course he does well if he knows they're no
good sneaks and sly balls. Why the world did he
invittom to the wedded honey? He had to invite him there?
Speaker 7 (14:05):
His family suck.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 12 (14:16):
I listen. If it gets sketchy, you have my permission.
Doesn't do the top two buttons.
Speaker 7 (14:20):
I don't run them off.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
You tune in again.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Next time.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
I'm gonna hear the sneaky slang ball say.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Hey, big Man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 12 (14:28):
No no, no, no, no, not three two, only two.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Dear Diary, this is Gary. Do you see that's the
weirdest dream.
Speaker 14 (14:41):
The other night I was duct taped to an examination
table while a bunch of metal patients were mumbling gibberish
into my ear. Yeah, yo yo, y'all. Turns out it
weren't no dream. I was just listening to wordy word
on the Big Show with John Boy and Billy. Someone
needs to heard those low. He's into the not Okay corral.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, good morning, that's a big show on the radio.
(15:40):
Wildlife Conservation Day all my wonderful thing Giveaway number eighty eight.
It's a broke in hunting cap from North Carolina. It's
the like the U n SEE logo, but just n C.
I don't think it's official. I can't remember where I
got it. Ooh, it's nice.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
We can did Were you wearing it when you got
your triple or whatever you call that?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
By a grand slam slam like that? That is why
with mossy okat Okay. By the looks of it, I'm
gonna guess excellent. Looks like the kind of service station
hat you'd have it a trucker stop. It's as good
as broke war there. It's pre Waller.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
It's the TERMINU.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
See the picture of it and register to win it.
Give it away on Friday make a visit to the
Big Show dot com. Is a married Man Monday, three
episodes of powers and things.
Speaker 12 (16:37):
Yes, this is a.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Little drinking Buddy got a superpower one of the funniest
moments in married man in history. Go through them all
episode one in minutes, Big Show rolls on Good Morning,
Got the Big Show on the radio? Coming up? We
played John Boy. Jeopardy Winter gives a Happy Herd prize pack.
Happy Herd makes the highest quality, attracting some minerals and
(16:59):
fees for deer, bear and hogs and a hunting industry.
You're not using a happy herd nutrition system. Better hope
your neighbors aren't either. Let's go to Big Show dot com.
Click on the Happy Herd link intercode jbb at, checkout
yout ten percent off, hang out and play for ten minutes. First,
let's get it going.
Speaker 8 (17:22):
My ried man, My ried man drives around in a
mini van.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
My follen has no single wife, will.
Speaker 8 (17:30):
Let him do with a sheepers. It's up our timing groove. Well,
there's a screw.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
You'll find the married mane as our story opens. Married Man,
College Buddy, Drinking Buddy and their new ally, Indigo Girl
have just arrived at the north entrance to Brushywood.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Mall and married Man.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Why are we here, well, pal, today is the tenth
Anniverse three of the day I first donned the colorful
garb of married Man. We're here to celebrate the occasion.
Speaker 15 (18:02):
You know, if you ask, maybe God, nothing says celebrate
like a lap dance at the Pink Pussycat Lounge.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
You know, I could go for some of that action,
my fell I like you, big girl drinking buddy. Take
the hint. She's not the least bit interested in you
are any other man.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
All right, settle down, friends. The modern supervillain is more
dangerous than ever before. What were the recent advances in
laser blasters, titanium battlesuits, and steroids. Today's evildoer can crush
an unprepared hero literally in seconds.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And that's us right.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Well, yes, and to take it to the next level,
we need real superpowers. That's why I brought you all
to the grand opening of this brand new store, Powers
and Things, yep, America's first superpower retail outlet. See, they've
got an extra large radiation chamber and they guarantee that
can give us superpowers in less than five minutes. Oh
(18:57):
and check this out, grand opening space.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
She'll buy one superpower, get a second of equal or
lesser value free. We're gonna use a coupon.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
He no sense to one money away. Come on in
meeting Heros. Welcome to powers and things, Balmer, What a
surprise to see you here. You're not working down at
the nuclear plant. Nah. Oh, the fun is going out
of it for me. You know how those public utilities
are and stuff about protective gear and safety regulations. I
(19:27):
like it much better here in the private sector where
everything's loosey goosey. So you guys ready to get some
real superpowers. Here's our product menu. Oh well, before I forget, uh,
let me give you this two for one.
Speaker 9 (19:40):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Well, now at the coupon price. You can only choose
your powers from group A, not the top of the line,
but still decent. And what does that mean exactly? Well,
you can't get in vulnerability, but you could get extremely
thick skin when being criticized by your spouse or about
ability to pick NASCAR race winners Bush series only. Oh
(20:02):
and here's a cool one, really bendy thumb. Yeah, I
mean not sound like much, but it's a lot of
fun At parties. Just but that one myself. Check it out.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Hey, heymry Man, most of these cheap powers sound kind
of lame.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Actually, I can't disagree with you, Homer. How much would
it cost to upgrade to Group B for four people? See?
That would be another two hundred bucks. Hmm. The team
checking account does have almost three hundred dollars in it. Okay,
Homer will take four of the Group B upgrade.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Coolio.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
If you'll just read me the power of your choice,
I'll punch the numbers into the computer here. Okay, I'm
gonna take flying Powers. That's number two three four one.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
College Buddy, I want super Strength number one two four seven.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Okay, drinking Buddy, X ray Vision big guy number fifteen hundred.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Let me guess you're gonna use it to see through
Indigo Girls costume.
Speaker 15 (21:00):
Juwie, George, you have worried about your powers, just worry
about mine and.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
The go girl.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I'll take elastic body stretching powers number four three oh seven.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I always wanted to be extra flexible.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Oh yeah, did I mention I like you?
Speaker 9 (21:14):
Big girl?
Speaker 7 (21:14):
Dude?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Play She's not interested in you.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Okie, jokie. Everybody signed the liability waivers and strap yourselves
into one of those chears inside this cyclic cride.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Did you say liability waiver?
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Don't worry, it's perfectly tape. Now excuse me while I
closed the giant lead line shafety door.
Speaker 9 (21:42):
Ok, we're almok ready in according to with federal regulations, David,
no smoking inside the nightlet rock turned off, papers and
telephone remain leading until the green safety light is illuminated
and daked. Were coming and power did.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Turn off my cell phone? Hello, Hi, honey, bunny. Yeah, listen,
I can't talk right now. We're about to be irradiated. No,
I don't. I don't think it'll take very long. There's
something up for dinner on the way home.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Married man, you better turn that off home, just through
the switch.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
Listen, Honey, I really have to run. I'll call you
after your gain.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And don't there figure, married man yourself? Want to short
now the machine?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Okaykay, everybody relaxed. Homer is a trained professional. I'm sure
if there's a problem, he'll shut down the machine. Meanwhile,
outside the cyclotron, don't nut. Holy, that's well and badly well.
A hero survive the coupon and handstripped through the cyclotron.
(22:51):
You know again. Next time when my head drinking buddy
say college buddy says, end a go guys, I'll say
that kind of sickle and home, I say, hey.
Speaker 9 (23:05):
Gay, everything of gay in there? Okay, Hello, oh man.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Don't mess. Next spank dot Tightening Adventure, Same married time,
same married channel.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
Well, there's a school you'll.
Speaker 7 (23:24):
Find the married mine.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Episode two. About an hour. Let's play John boyd Jeopardy. Y'all,
let's jump right in here. We're looking for the world's
most widely farmed crop. Hmm, the world.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
I would say horse crap, but please, that's more like
what you put on it to make it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Sure, you know we've been talking about there. Want to
power more than what what y'all got one eight hundred
Big show you told freeline across America. We played John
Board Jeopardy. Next, Good Morning, it's a big show on
(24:19):
the radio for you Monday. He's simming to four today's
feature track from the Big Show, Big Box, Parky's Blue Christmas.
It's the original John Boy laugh session. Search for keywords Parky.
Make you drift to the Big Show dot com And
right now, let's play.
Speaker 16 (24:38):
Yes Live for Cuffey Rick hets and now your host,
the proud inventor of something called the original laugh session
whatever that is.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
He's job and maga. Let's say hey to Chris out
of Pikeville, North Carolina. Good morning, Chris, Good morning, John
Boyd time caller. Glad to make it in. All right,
now you go, glad to have you.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Chris.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Well, let's see what you got, buddy. We're looking for
the world's most widely farmed crop. Well, I'm gonna I'm
gonna change my answers from what I gave Jackie. I'm
gonna try Barley, Try Barley. Then all right, is it Barley?
(25:31):
Oh you didn't change it from the ride. Answer Chris,
that sometimes had Barley Barry last week. I remember, Chris.
We appreciate you playing buddy. You try in the time, Buddie.
Thank you, ma'am, Thank you much.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
See.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Let's go to Tina in Knoxville, Tennessee. Good morning, Tina,
Good morning, John mor Good morning. I Tina. You're up.
We know it's not Barley marked that off the list.
What you got for the world's most widely farmed crop?
Speaker 4 (26:03):
What is onions?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
You say, onions?
Speaker 7 (26:09):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
How about that you would take corn. Yeah, yeah, all right,
well Tina, good word baby, you got a big old
happy herd price back head to Knoxville for you.
Speaker 11 (26:27):
Well, I appreciate you first time.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
All right up, Tina, yay potatoes corn. I know, but
we like onions. No, everybody likes.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
There's a whole lot of variety of species of onions
like that.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, good old ramps in North Carolina mountains like it
would to stay with you a while.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Yeah, we know.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
We're gonna kiss later, y'all. Marry something.
Speaker 7 (27:09):
Can.
Speaker 14 (27:28):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
It's late at night, you're fast asleep and a shut
away figure is about to break into your home.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
But you're protected.
Speaker 17 (27:53):
Yeah, it's the James Brown Home Security alone was working
alarm in the sleep, their business designed by the godfather
of home protection himself. The James Brown Alarm protects you
(28:14):
from burglars, van dolls, creeping tall and if you act
now will included no extra cost. The pattern of James
Brown hot parents far along. So put the soul patrol
on your keyhole. With a James Brown home security system,
(28:36):
you'll say.
Speaker 9 (28:41):
John boyan Dilly Ladies and gentlemen, mister James Brown, Yeah that.
Speaker 7 (28:47):
Isn't want to tell you.
Speaker 8 (28:48):
You know, thank god they that easy echoes.
Speaker 7 (28:51):
It's all us nice in the living.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
This morning radio dumb, Good morning. It's a big show
(29:29):
on the radio. We're gonna do you Monday morning, December.
The fourth utensil Town has started releasing what they hope
will be their big money makers. We all need somebody
who can cut through the nonsense and give us an
honest opinion, and we got that guy. Let's welcome back
Rabbi Myron Bergstein. Come on in, Rabbi.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
Sholl onw me homies.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
What's happening?
Speaker 4 (29:52):
John Bulliam and Billy Coyam.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
What's a good word from the local cinema?
Speaker 12 (29:57):
Good worry they still haven't caught me bringing in my
own The bad news is I got to eat it
watching some of this crap.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Oh well, this is a crucial time of year for
Hollywood box office. You know, they're they're putting out only
their best.
Speaker 12 (30:10):
You know, before you go shooting off your yap about
Hollywood putting off their best, maybe you're to go with
me and see some of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Will that'd be fun? Are you serious?
Speaker 12 (30:21):
No, you're painted the ass. I prefer to be miserable
all by myself a sense of story.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
So I'm going to the picture show.
Speaker 12 (30:29):
I got two still warm brisket sandwiches and a zip
lock bag of craplocks, and I decide to see this
thing called the Marbles.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
The Marbles, I think you mean the Marvels.
Speaker 12 (30:41):
I know that now it's another superhero picture O vague,
but I give it the shot.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I mean, I gotta eat, right.
Speaker 12 (30:49):
So it seems that these Captain Marbles beats the caddywhoppers
out of the bed guys, but it creates some sort
of a mess in the universe, and now she got
one more thing to do. She gets sucked down this
wime hole and winds up in a world with two
other Marbles, one of Jackie's people with a chip on
her shoulder, and some obnoxious girl who needs to take
(31:10):
an excitement down to a two or three instead of
a nerf rocking seventy two. I'm telling you I must
be getting old, you think, Hey, listen, uncle Jesse from
the Dutch of Hazardous. I don't need no age cracks
from you. I guess it wouldn't have been so bad
with a good script and some good acting. This lead girly,
I mean the Captain Marbles, she got one expression.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Who farted?
Speaker 12 (31:35):
That's it scanned, the death who farted the story and
the bad guy who farted. If she ever did a
movie where everyone farted she went and Oscar.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
May Was there anything good about it?
Speaker 12 (31:47):
Yeah? It's short, and the space cats steal the whole movie.
As far as humans go, I'm telling you you can't
beat that guy that plays what's his name, Rick Furious right,
actor Sam Cook.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Sam Cook was a king of soul. You don't look
like royalty. No, no, you're thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.
Speaker 12 (32:09):
I thought that was that the old cowboy all the
names getting moist over.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
That's Sam Elliott.
Speaker 12 (32:14):
I thought that was the guy from the prison picture
that just wanted some corn bread.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
That's Sam Rockwell.
Speaker 12 (32:22):
I thought that was the one eyed black guy who
married the Swedish girl in sang Candy Man.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
That's Sammy Davis Junior.
Speaker 12 (32:29):
I thought that was the funny guy who screamed all
his jokes.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
That's Sam Kennison.
Speaker 12 (32:34):
I thought that was the English singing girl who kept
taking a top off.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
That's Samantha Fox.
Speaker 12 (32:41):
I thought that was the wooly bully guy.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
That's sam the sham So, who the hell am I
thinking that's Samuel Jackson? What voiced on that guy? Beef?
Speaker 12 (32:52):
It's what for dinner, your bastard?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
What do you think? Oh you right now?
Speaker 12 (32:57):
I think if I had a voice like that, I
could get popcorn and the concession.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Girl fond number no, no no.
Speaker 12 (33:03):
The movie, Well, I give this turn one single yamaka,
and that's for the space Cats. I'm sure that's gonna
upset some people, raise a few hackles, put a burrow
under some folks, saddles, tough crap. The fact you like
something like this means I don't give a wet fot
and a rolling donut what you're thinking.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
Me.
Speaker 12 (33:24):
Let me tell you something, smart guy the Royal Dot,
there is a tough place. They ain't no super dame
with a bad case of renting, resting yet the face
to pull your butt out of the fire. You gotta
take care of yourself. You gotta look out for number
one so you don't step in number two. Go on,
college boy, you know so much. Good luck in the
real world. Watch a decent movie like Real Lobo or
(33:47):
The Green Berets. Those are real movies, your college educated jackass,
of course opinions very you do you and don't forget
see him at nay, it's chee.
Speaker 18 (34:02):
I stand on a hill, but not for a thrill,
but for the breath of a fresh kill. And never
mind the man who contemplates doing away with license plates.
He stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent from
(34:23):
the heat of the laundra back then.
Speaker 7 (34:27):
Leaving his soul.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
And then, like in poetry, I go dot dot dot,
you know, kind of off center. Then I drop down.
Speaker 18 (34:36):
And then I go leaving his soul, parting the waters
of the madula our blongota of.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
BNPID. You're like that job boy.
Speaker 7 (34:50):
Yeah, good morning.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
There's a big shon the radio. Monday, December four Yeah,
looking at days in history, it was on this date
in nineteen thirty the Vatican approved the rhythm method of
birth control.
Speaker 6 (35:42):
Free.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
I've been looking for it just to play this since
it was national. I know, I don't know why. It's
just hit me funny work, but I don't care. It's
because that's here.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
He you like that.
Speaker 7 (36:02):
Happy do we have that.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Gloria Estefron song. Rhythm is gonna get Let's not push
it down.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Good morning, got a big show on the radio. Hang
on episode two of our Married Powers and Things. Where's
some day we got a prize back? Somebody can win
an easy way take se get that John Boyn Brother
bucket with your liquid performance all the motive cleaning and detailing. Kid.
Need to check out the full line of appearance, maintenance
and performance products Liquid Performance dot com, Summit Racing dot com,
(36:39):
or go to Big Show dot com. Click on that
liquid performance better hang on playboard. In minutes.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
Here we go.
Speaker 8 (36:52):
My readmand, my redman drive surrounding a minivan.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
God, my wife and some kids. So life's on the skits.
Speaker 8 (37:01):
Here there goes the married man. How's he feel?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Listen, dude, this sport guy's.
Speaker 8 (37:10):
Really screwed hanging on. Buy a thread, cord of milk,
loaf of bread. Hang there, there goes the married man.
Got a big gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap,
and he's just about had enough.
Speaker 7 (37:28):
For this girl.
Speaker 8 (37:30):
Married man, manored man, friendly neighborhood, married man life for him,
has no single life or let him do what a
she says. It's about time he grew.
Speaker 7 (37:42):
Well.
Speaker 8 (37:43):
Wherever there's a screw, you'll find the married man.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Last time married man, College Buddy, Drinking Buddy, and Indigo
Girl stopped in to get some real superpowers from the
new Powers and Things store at Brushywood Mall. But after
home of the salesman strapped on heroes into the cyclotron,
mayhem and turn off my cellphone. Hello, Hi, honey, bunny,
(38:10):
there's something up for dinner on the way home.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Married man, you better turn that off, Homer, just through
the switch.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
Listen, Honey, I really have to run.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
I'll call you after your gift now.
Speaker 15 (38:23):
And don't there there, big Girl.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Now. Holma has finally shut down the malfunctioning machine and
opens the door to check on our heroes. Hey, didn't
the old super neighbors? Everybody okay? In here?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I feel really weird.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
I feel a bit strange myself.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Is it hot in here?
Speaker 5 (38:52):
It ain't just you.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
You look hot to me too.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Big Girl, Drinking Buddy, Please not now.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Wow, you guys don't look nearly as crispy as I
thought you'd be.
Speaker 7 (39:01):
How are you idiot? You could have killed.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
Us, easy, chump, It was my cell phone that caused
the cyclotron to malfunction.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Oh yeah, married man, you idiot, you could.
Speaker 9 (39:11):
Have killed us.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
So, Homer, what happened? Well, when the tyclotron zapped your telephone,
it caused a giant overload, and the powers apply. Apparently
the computer that controls everything automatically rebooted itself while the
ion gun was zapping you. Well that sounds rather dangerous. Nah,
those walls are a foot and a half stick and
lined with lead. I was never in any danger at all.
(39:34):
I meant dangerous for us.
Speaker 15 (39:36):
Hey, does this mean we didn't get our superpowers?
Speaker 5 (39:38):
My guest?
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Oh yo, you've got powers, they just might not be
the exact ones you signed up for. Let me just
lock up and put the back in five minutes. Sign
in the window and we'll get you guys checked out.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Married man, I feel kind of funny.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 15 (39:54):
Me three rega. My head's hurting, I'm dizzy, my stomach
is kind.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Of sin you always feel.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Call like everybody called down. We're all alive and we've
all got some kind of superpower. Let's not fly off
the handle here.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
So Homer, how can we tell which power we ended
up with?
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Well, normally, all you have to do is take a
deep breath and kind of relax, like the guy in
Caddyshack said, be the ball who wants to go Perry.
I'll give it a shot. Okay, now just relax. Try
to let your mind go completely blank.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Hey, drinking buddy, that part should be easy for you.
Speaker 4 (40:29):
You hurt me big as I try to focus on
anything new or unusual you might be feeling. Okay, Now
count backwards from five to zero. Okay, five four three two.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Married man, I thought the cyclotron fried your phone.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
It did. The ringing is coming from my right hand. Hello,
this is amazing. I can hear her voice inside my head. Wow,
the machine transferred to functions of his telephone directly into
his body. No, honey, we've had a bit of a
(41:12):
snag here. It might be a while yet. Yes, I'll
touch base with you in just a few minutes. Okay, Great.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
A human cell phone. Wow. That ought to strike fear
in the hearts of evildoers everywhere.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
All right, old chum, let's see what you ended up with.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Okay, Now what do I do again?
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Count backwards from five, five four three two. Suddenly college
Buddy's eyes and met a stream of greasy, hot dog
shaped object.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Great, Scott, dang, sound of what happened? Where'd all those
hot dogs come from.
Speaker 4 (41:52):
Actually, I believe they're broad words. Mighty Homer, what exactly
would you call that? It would appear to be the
power to shoot projectiles of ground animal protein from one's
eye sockets at will, ground animal protein. In other words,
he's got meat vision meat vision.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Oh man, this is the dumbest power ever.
Speaker 15 (42:14):
Hey, look at it this way, big guy, You'll never
be more than a good heart squint away from a
good hot breakfast.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
HOLLI didn't get that money's works. Could these be the
least useful superpowers in crime fighting history?
Speaker 12 (42:29):
Killed it again?
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Next time when we'll hear Homer say a meat vision, guy,
I'm kind of hungry. Drinking buddy say.
Speaker 15 (42:35):
Yeah, how about blinking us out a plate of them
little cocktail.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Winging and college buddy say, don't gown it?
Speaker 12 (42:49):
Dang it?
Speaker 4 (42:50):
Top best on next specta tightening Adventure, Same married times,
same married chand loves you'll find them.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Married right man, Episode three and about hours something special
at the bottom of the hour with married man. Now,
let's playing the current events quiz Bedley, what are we
dealing with? MENSA?
Speaker 4 (43:11):
Welcome's kind of surprising new member.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Ah, that's something because I was going through my stuff
and I found my old MENSA card. You had a card.
I'll bring it to those names on it. I pictured
my name Eddie. You thought you were the smart one
in high school.
Speaker 5 (43:29):
I was.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I was sliding.
Speaker 4 (43:31):
See this, I need to see how they spelled mensa.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Yeah, I bring it in tomorrow. Okay, all right, So
where were we? We were not believing you? Colona bitch
quiz We got all right, one ain't hundred big show
you told free line take see you will win. We
play next
Good barning Big Show listeners, this is the Honorable Mayor
Merwin Hugh fiddle swap Uh I'm missinggan oh fiddle swoop.
It's a beautiful day in Dismal seep Inch, South Carolina,
and it's even better when we're listening to the John
Boy and Billy Big Sal Mister Nage Big Show. But
that reminds me come on down for the forty second
(00:21):
annual Dismal Seepach Big Sal Festival.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah that one spelled correctly. Cogging doodle doo, having out them.
(01:04):
It is Monday, checking off the first full weekend December
to day we head toward Christmas time. The whole gang
is in here ready to go. Hang hole gang, I
mean okay, yeah, Well it's National Santa's List Day. Check out.
(01:25):
Who knowed it? In Nice, there's National Wildlife Conservation Day, Alise.
People don't know anything about hunters and hang you go
out there and getting ploms. Actually, the hunters do more
for wildlife conservation than anybody else because we buy license
and we help them. We want them to replenish, and
(01:46):
that's the way and that's the way it works there,
So be thankful for a hunters.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
You want to see more deer on the side of
the highway or in your windshield.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, I support your local hunter as a good eat too. Yeah, man,
I like that a lot of times. You know, you
put enough venison back for you and your family and
then you donate it to a food kitchens. You suit
kitchen stuff like that. You know a lot of boys
that do the very good stuff. All right, let's see
(02:15):
three more national days, National Sock Day, National Dice Day,
and National Cookie Day. So wear some socks, play some craps,
and eat a cookie, and don't shoot anything without a
hunting license. Okay, y'all get all that, yep, kind of
bossy first Thurday morning, All right, help, we got three
(02:39):
days in this received up. Get the first prize pack
out and get the winning beginning. That's a playing on outbursts,
because we're awaiting the big shows on a radio. Good morning,
big shows on a radio. First prize pack one hundred
and twenty dollars worth of bulls not cleaning products made
in the USA up for grabs. Truck drivers keep America moving,
(02:59):
and bulls not make sure they look good doing it.
Liver bulls not at truck stops across America. Go to
Brownox dot com. I was even just click at banner
at the bag show dot com. I have three dates
in history where we get our categories. Think along with us.
December fourth, it was eighteen twelve. The power more was
patented by Peter and Gilliard of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Now eighteen
(03:23):
twelve power more? Was it your own power? I don't know.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
I mean many early.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
I was in the sixties pushing one. It didn't have
a motor, you know that little Yeah, so you think.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
There would only be about four or five motors in
the world that long.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Wait a minute, battery power, I bet battery power? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
About that time they started having battery cars.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Is that?
Speaker 5 (03:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Man?
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Eighteen twelve?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I want to think, so I have to. I'll google it.
Check on this, all right, Well, think about some power
to power rangers or something. We'll get to it. Nineteen
fifty eight, a little Cessna one seventy two took off
from Lost, Vegas and didn't land until February seventh, nineteen
fifty nine. It was the world's longest airplane flight. Bob
(04:08):
tim and John Cook with continental mid air ref no
continual mid air refueling. That makes sense, I thought it
was an airlines right cotten a continuum mid air refueling. They
stayed up for sixty four days. Man as a small
plane man, why would you do something like it? Well,
we're talking about him.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Good work, boys, never mind. Finally, on this day in
nineteen ninety six, and Denison, Texas a bandit wearing pink
panties over his head, tried to rob a convenience store.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Now there's a why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Well, when he struck the clerk on the head, she
got up and started throwing Cansas spam at him. She
spammed him right out of the store, marking the first
every case of using spam as a weapon, and it worked.
Good work, all right.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
But there you go.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
There's our three categories one eight hundred Big Shows. You're
toll free live the outburst. We'll do it next. Good morning.
(05:27):
This Big Show on the Radio wrote it to you Monday,
December the fourth. Today is featured track from The Big Show,
Big Box Porky's Blue Christmas. Yes, the original John Boy
laugh session. Search for keywords Porky, I have had it
at the Big Show dot com and right now been
a wakes worth the wedding.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Upburst.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
Let's play upburst.
Speaker 8 (05:51):
It's the game that anyone can be shon. Boy, give
the prizes from the big prize p Let's go contested
number one. This should really be a lot of fun
playing ups. Have a hurry up and guest, time you
(06:12):
love the best time you love.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
A big shots.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Let's say have the Michelle from sweet Water. Ten U says,
we have shots. Me shall my bell someday? Monkey play
piano song, piano song?
Speaker 4 (06:40):
Do what now?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
I love you, I love you, I love you, you
love the start. Don't make miss Jack up the band.
I don't remember the rest of the words, but good
morning Michelle, A lot of the.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
Words you actually say.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Good morning guys, hey by, welcome, all right, get in here,
and helpless. Let's get through these three categories and we'll
be all happy for Michelle and Sweetwater.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So here we go.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Babe. In five seconds, give us three power or landscape tools. Ready, go.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Lower, trimmer, edger, bam, bam.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Now give us three objects that require fuel, ready.
Speaker 9 (07:27):
Go airplane, lawnmower, and cart.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
And for the wind, three things you can put on
your head or even over your head. Ready, go.
Speaker 10 (07:44):
Helmet, bandana.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
And you were ready Foranana sham. One hundred and twenty
dollars of bulls not cleaning products made in the USA
headed to the sweet water for you. All right, by
you hang on. I'm glad you want Michelle. Thanks for
listening being active with us. You hang on, Jackie, hook
you up? All right?
Speaker 9 (08:05):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
If we can use that power more from eighteen twelve,
you found out what it was powered.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Well, my guess was electric. Maybe electric motor, and I'm close.
The first electric motor was eighteen twenty one. But this
power mower, I looked it up and they actually have
photos of it.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
It was powered by a horse. I was wondering about that.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Kind of looked like one of those buggy things and
had a mower played on the back.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Man, then you have to dodge the horse duty. You
have one horse power. No, that's fertilizer.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Man, you're taking care of two things at once, blades
and bumba sling it.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Well, we'll work on that later.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Good Monday morning. There's a big show on the radio
now Monday Morning song Robert Earl Keane were going to
live in the Big Shoe Studio. Any boy, That's done
by Robert Earl Keane is being live in a big
show studio.
Speaker 11 (09:36):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
Come on, Jackie, get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 11 (09:43):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right, yes, I'm
tevn the left surbad. Things ain't going my way because
there's always someone swirming in my life.
Speaker 7 (10:05):
You keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 12 (10:08):
And it's causing.
Speaker 13 (10:10):
Lots of banger. I'm a honking on my horror. I'm
shooting you the flame. Keep switching on.
Speaker 7 (10:21):
My bride lines.
Speaker 12 (10:24):
To him.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
When you're swerving all lives high way. You're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 11 (10:36):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never never could
love another.
Speaker 7 (10:46):
How else could I feed? But bowing you run into me.
Speaker 11 (10:55):
I can't believe I could not see her all time
up the only ones.
Speaker 7 (11:02):
At the waiting.
Speaker 13 (11:05):
You keep swarming in my line, just causing lots of bags.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I'm cussing out your name.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
I'm shooting in the fine.
Speaker 13 (11:20):
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
But you're just too dimpty Now when you're swerving.
Speaker 7 (11:29):
All lights, Oh why.
Speaker 6 (11:32):
You're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Good Monday morning, there's a big show on the radio.
All right, there, we'll go.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
Action Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode
Night of the Sneaks and Slime Balls. As our story opens,
Ricky b Sharp and his wife Lucy are making preparations
for a wedding reception at the home of Ricky's boss.
So what do you think?
Speaker 12 (12:34):
Wow? Looks great, sweetie, Fresh flowers all over the room,
nice fire in the fireplace. Ma'am, you have done a
bang up job.
Speaker 10 (12:41):
Well, I was glad to help.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Need anything else from me?
Speaker 5 (12:45):
Yup?
Speaker 12 (12:45):
You can park your fine little caboose on that couch
right there till this reception is overwhe do what now?
Speaker 4 (12:51):
I thought I was dead?
Speaker 10 (12:53):
You want me to sit here all evening?
Speaker 12 (12:55):
Yep? You have officially been promoted from gift room decorator
to gift room supervisor. See that fancy basket on the
gift table over there. The boss man's high dollar friends
are gonna fill that basket up with envelopes full of
cash for the big guy's daughter in her new hobby.
Now I need you to stay right here and keep
an eye on that basket.
Speaker 10 (13:14):
Oh how come you can't do it?
Speaker 7 (13:17):
Lucy?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Please?
Speaker 12 (13:21):
I am Dothan's most beloved fast food mascot, The one
and only Pizza Run. I am the public face of
the whole dang run Tipedy Popula's restaurant grew. The big
guy needs me out there, mixing and mingling with the
high rollers.
Speaker 10 (13:37):
Okay, I get confused. Are the high rollers the woods
that are gonna steal the buddy out of the gift basket?
Speaker 12 (13:44):
No, those are the low rollers, A bunch of no
good sneaks and slimeballs, every single one of them.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
What does the boss man know all them?
Speaker 10 (13:53):
Of course he does well if he knows they're no
good sneaks and sly balls. Why the world did he
invittom to the wedded honey? He had to invite him there?
Speaker 7 (14:05):
His family suck.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 12 (14:16):
I listen. If it gets sketchy, you have my permission.
Doesn't do the top two buttons.
Speaker 7 (14:20):
I don't run them off.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
You tune in again.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Next time.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
I'm gonna hear the sneaky slang ball say.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Hey, big Man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 12 (14:28):
No no, no, no, no, not three two, only two.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Dear Diary, this is Gary. Do you see that's the
weirdest dream.
Speaker 14 (14:41):
The other night I was duct taped to an examination
table while a bunch of metal patients were mumbling gibberish
into my ear. Yeah, yo yo, y'all. Turns out it
weren't no dream. I was just listening to wordy word
on the Big Show with John Boy and Billy. Someone
needs to heard those low. He's into the not Okay corral.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Yeah, good morning, that's a big show on the radio.
(15:40):
Wildlife Conservation Day all my wonderful thing Giveaway number eighty eight.
It's a broke in hunting cap from North Carolina. It's
the like the U n SEE logo, but just n C.
I don't think it's official. I can't remember where I
got it. Ooh, it's nice.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
We can did Were you wearing it when you got
your triple or whatever you call that?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
By a grand slam slam like that? That is why
with mossy okat Okay. By the looks of it, I'm
gonna guess excellent. Looks like the kind of service station
hat you'd have it a trucker stop. It's as good
as broke war there. It's pre Waller.
Speaker 4 (16:22):
It's the TERMINU.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
See the picture of it and register to win it.
Give it away on Friday make a visit to the
Big Show dot com. Is a married Man Monday, three
episodes of powers and things.
Speaker 12 (16:37):
Yes, this is a.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Little drinking Buddy got a superpower one of the funniest
moments in married man in history. Go through them all
episode one in minutes, Big Show rolls on Good Morning,
Got the Big Show on the radio? Coming up? We
played John Boy. Jeopardy Winter gives a Happy Herd prize pack.
Happy Herd makes the highest quality, attracting some minerals and
(16:59):
fees for deer, bear and hogs and a hunting industry.
You're not using a happy herd nutrition system. Better hope
your neighbors aren't either. Let's go to Big Show dot com.
Click on the Happy Herd link intercode jbb at, checkout
yout ten percent off, hang out and play for ten minutes. First,
let's get it going.
Speaker 8 (17:22):
My ried man, My ried man drives around in a
mini van.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
My follen has no single wife, will.
Speaker 8 (17:30):
Let him do with a sheepers. It's up our timing groove. Well,
there's a screw.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
You'll find the married mane as our story opens. Married Man,
College Buddy, Drinking Buddy and their new ally, Indigo Girl
have just arrived at the north entrance to Brushywood.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Mall and married Man.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Why are we here, well, pal, today is the tenth
Anniverse three of the day I first donned the colorful
garb of married Man. We're here to celebrate the occasion.
Speaker 15 (18:02):
You know, if you ask, maybe God, nothing says celebrate
like a lap dance at the Pink Pussycat Lounge.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
You know, I could go for some of that action,
my fell I like you, big girl drinking buddy. Take
the hint. She's not the least bit interested in you
are any other man.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
All right, settle down, friends. The modern supervillain is more
dangerous than ever before. What were the recent advances in
laser blasters, titanium battlesuits, and steroids. Today's evildoer can crush
an unprepared hero literally in seconds.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And that's us right.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Well, yes, and to take it to the next level,
we need real superpowers. That's why I brought you all
to the grand opening of this brand new store, Powers
and Things, yep, America's first superpower retail outlet. See, they've
got an extra large radiation chamber and they guarantee that
can give us superpowers in less than five minutes. Oh
(18:57):
and check this out, grand opening space.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
She'll buy one superpower, get a second of equal or
lesser value free. We're gonna use a coupon.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
He no sense to one money away. Come on in
meeting Heros. Welcome to powers and things, Balmer, What a
surprise to see you here. You're not working down at
the nuclear plant. Nah. Oh, the fun is going out
of it for me. You know how those public utilities
are and stuff about protective gear and safety regulations. I
(19:27):
like it much better here in the private sector where
everything's loosey goosey. So you guys ready to get some
real superpowers. Here's our product menu. Oh well, before I forget, uh,
let me give you this two for one.
Speaker 9 (19:40):
Eh.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Well, now at the coupon price. You can only choose
your powers from group A, not the top of the line,
but still decent. And what does that mean exactly? Well,
you can't get in vulnerability, but you could get extremely
thick skin when being criticized by your spouse or about
ability to pick NASCAR race winners Bush series only. Oh
(20:02):
and here's a cool one, really bendy thumb. Yeah, I
mean not sound like much, but it's a lot of
fun At parties. Just but that one myself. Check it out.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Hey, heymry Man, most of these cheap powers sound kind
of lame.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
Actually, I can't disagree with you, Homer. How much would
it cost to upgrade to Group B for four people? See?
That would be another two hundred bucks. Hmm. The team
checking account does have almost three hundred dollars in it. Okay,
Homer will take four of the Group B upgrade.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Coolio.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
If you'll just read me the power of your choice,
I'll punch the numbers into the computer here. Okay, I'm
gonna take flying Powers. That's number two three four one.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
College Buddy, I want super Strength number one two four seven.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Okay, drinking Buddy, X ray Vision big guy number fifteen hundred.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Let me guess you're gonna use it to see through
Indigo Girls costume.
Speaker 15 (21:00):
Juwie, George, you have worried about your powers, just worry
about mine and.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
The go girl.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I'll take elastic body stretching powers number four three oh seven.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I always wanted to be extra flexible.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Oh yeah, did I mention I like you?
Speaker 9 (21:14):
Big girl?
Speaker 7 (21:14):
Dude?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Play She's not interested in you.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Okie, jokie. Everybody signed the liability waivers and strap yourselves
into one of those chears inside this cyclic cride.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Did you say liability waiver?
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Don't worry, it's perfectly tape. Now excuse me while I
closed the giant lead line shafety door.
Speaker 9 (21:42):
Ok, we're almok ready in according to with federal regulations, David,
no smoking inside the nightlet rock turned off, papers and
telephone remain leading until the green safety light is illuminated
and daked. Were coming and power did.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Turn off my cell phone? Hello, Hi, honey, bunny. Yeah, listen,
I can't talk right now. We're about to be irradiated. No,
I don't. I don't think it'll take very long. There's
something up for dinner on the way home.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Married man, you better turn that off home, just through
the switch.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
Listen, Honey, I really have to run. I'll call you
after your gain.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
And don't there figure, married man yourself? Want to short
now the machine?
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Okaykay, everybody relaxed. Homer is a trained professional. I'm sure
if there's a problem, he'll shut down the machine. Meanwhile,
outside the cyclotron, don't nut. Holy, that's well and badly well.
A hero survive the coupon and handstripped through the cyclotron.
(22:51):
You know again. Next time when my head drinking buddy
say college buddy says, end a go guys, I'll say
that kind of sickle and home, I say, hey.
Speaker 9 (23:05):
Gay, everything of gay in there? Okay, Hello, oh man.
Speaker 4 (23:15):
Don't mess. Next spank dot Tightening Adventure, Same married time,
same married channel.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
Well, there's a school you'll.
Speaker 7 (23:24):
Find the married mine.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Episode two. About an hour. Let's play John boyd Jeopardy. Y'all,
let's jump right in here. We're looking for the world's
most widely farmed crop. Hmm, the world.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
I would say horse crap, but please, that's more like
what you put on it to make it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Sure, you know we've been talking about there. Want to
power more than what what y'all got one eight hundred
Big show you told freeline across America. We played John
Board Jeopardy. Next, Good Morning, it's a big show on
(24:19):
the radio for you Monday. He's simming to four today's
feature track from the Big Show, Big Box, Parky's Blue Christmas.
It's the original John Boy laugh session. Search for keywords Parky.
Make you drift to the Big Show dot com And
right now, let's play.
Speaker 16 (24:38):
Yes Live for Cuffey Rick hets and now your host,
the proud inventor of something called the original laugh session
whatever that is.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
He's job and maga. Let's say hey to Chris out
of Pikeville, North Carolina. Good morning, Chris, Good morning, John
Boyd time caller. Glad to make it in. All right,
now you go, glad to have you.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
Chris.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Well, let's see what you got, buddy. We're looking for
the world's most widely farmed crop. Well, I'm gonna I'm
gonna change my answers from what I gave Jackie. I'm
gonna try Barley, Try Barley. Then all right, is it Barley?
(25:31):
Oh you didn't change it from the ride. Answer Chris,
that sometimes had Barley Barry last week. I remember, Chris.
We appreciate you playing buddy. You try in the time, Buddie.
Thank you, ma'am, Thank you much.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
See.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Let's go to Tina in Knoxville, Tennessee. Good morning, Tina,
Good morning, John mor Good morning. I Tina. You're up.
We know it's not Barley marked that off the list.
What you got for the world's most widely farmed crop?
Speaker 4 (26:03):
What is onions?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
You say, onions?
Speaker 7 (26:09):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (26:15):
How about that you would take corn. Yeah, yeah, all right,
well Tina, good word baby, you got a big old
happy herd price back head to Knoxville for you.
Speaker 11 (26:27):
Well, I appreciate you first time.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
All right up, Tina, yay potatoes corn. I know, but
we like onions. No, everybody likes.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
There's a whole lot of variety of species of onions
like that.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah, good old ramps in North Carolina mountains like it
would to stay with you a while.
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Yeah, we know.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
We're gonna kiss later, y'all. Marry something.
Speaker 7 (27:09):
Can.
Speaker 14 (27:28):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 4 (27:44):
It's late at night, you're fast asleep and a shut
away figure is about to break into your home.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
But you're protected.
Speaker 17 (27:53):
Yeah, it's the James Brown Home Security alone was working
alarm in the sleep, their business designed by the godfather
of home protection himself. The James Brown Alarm protects you
(28:14):
from burglars, van dolls, creeping tall and if you act
now will included no extra cost. The pattern of James
Brown hot parents far along. So put the soul patrol
on your keyhole. With a James Brown home security system,
(28:36):
you'll say.
Speaker 9 (28:41):
John boyan Dilly Ladies and gentlemen, mister James Brown, Yeah that.
Speaker 7 (28:47):
Isn't want to tell you.
Speaker 8 (28:48):
You know, thank god they that easy echoes.
Speaker 7 (28:51):
It's all us nice in the living.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
This morning radio dumb, Good morning. It's a big show
(29:29):
on the radio. We're gonna do you Monday morning, December.
The fourth utensil Town has started releasing what they hope
will be their big money makers. We all need somebody
who can cut through the nonsense and give us an
honest opinion, and we got that guy. Let's welcome back
Rabbi Myron Bergstein. Come on in, Rabbi.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
Sholl onw me homies.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
What's happening?
Speaker 4 (29:52):
John Bulliam and Billy Coyam.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
What's a good word from the local cinema?
Speaker 12 (29:57):
Good worry they still haven't caught me bringing in my
own The bad news is I got to eat it
watching some of this crap.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Oh well, this is a crucial time of year for
Hollywood box office. You know, they're they're putting out only
their best.
Speaker 12 (30:10):
You know, before you go shooting off your yap about
Hollywood putting off their best, maybe you're to go with
me and see some of this stuff.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Will that'd be fun? Are you serious?
Speaker 12 (30:21):
No, you're painted the ass. I prefer to be miserable
all by myself a sense of story.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
So I'm going to the picture show.
Speaker 12 (30:29):
I got two still warm brisket sandwiches and a zip
lock bag of craplocks, and I decide to see this
thing called the Marbles.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
The Marbles, I think you mean the Marvels.
Speaker 12 (30:41):
I know that now it's another superhero picture O vague,
but I give it the shot.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
I mean, I gotta eat, right.
Speaker 12 (30:49):
So it seems that these Captain Marbles beats the caddywhoppers
out of the bed guys, but it creates some sort
of a mess in the universe, and now she got
one more thing to do. She gets sucked down this
wime hole and winds up in a world with two
other Marbles, one of Jackie's people with a chip on
her shoulder, and some obnoxious girl who needs to take
(31:10):
an excitement down to a two or three instead of
a nerf rocking seventy two. I'm telling you I must
be getting old, you think, Hey, listen, uncle Jesse from
the Dutch of Hazardous. I don't need no age cracks
from you. I guess it wouldn't have been so bad
with a good script and some good acting. This lead girly,
I mean the Captain Marbles, she got one expression.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Who farted?
Speaker 12 (31:35):
That's it scanned, the death who farted the story and
the bad guy who farted. If she ever did a
movie where everyone farted she went and Oscar.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
May Was there anything good about it?
Speaker 12 (31:47):
Yeah? It's short, and the space cats steal the whole movie.
As far as humans go, I'm telling you you can't
beat that guy that plays what's his name, Rick Furious right,
actor Sam Cook.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Sam Cook was a king of soul. You don't look
like royalty. No, no, you're thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.
Speaker 12 (32:09):
I thought that was that the old cowboy all the
names getting moist over.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
That's Sam Elliott.
Speaker 12 (32:14):
I thought that was the guy from the prison picture
that just wanted some corn bread.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
That's Sam Rockwell.
Speaker 12 (32:22):
I thought that was the one eyed black guy who
married the Swedish girl in sang Candy Man.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
That's Sammy Davis Junior.
Speaker 12 (32:29):
I thought that was the funny guy who screamed all
his jokes.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
That's Sam Kennison.
Speaker 12 (32:34):
I thought that was the English singing girl who kept
taking a top off.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
That's Samantha Fox.
Speaker 12 (32:41):
I thought that was the wooly bully guy.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
That's sam the sham So, who the hell am I
thinking that's Samuel Jackson? What voiced on that guy? Beef?
Speaker 12 (32:52):
It's what for dinner, your bastard?
Speaker 2 (32:56):
What do you think? Oh you right now?
Speaker 12 (32:57):
I think if I had a voice like that, I
could get popcorn and the concession.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Girl fond number no, no no.
Speaker 12 (33:03):
The movie, Well, I give this turn one single yamaka,
and that's for the space Cats. I'm sure that's gonna
upset some people, raise a few hackles, put a burrow
under some folks, saddles, tough crap. The fact you like
something like this means I don't give a wet fot
and a rolling donut what you're thinking.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
Me.
Speaker 12 (33:24):
Let me tell you something, smart guy the Royal Dot,
there is a tough place. They ain't no super dame
with a bad case of renting, resting yet the face
to pull your butt out of the fire. You gotta
take care of yourself. You gotta look out for number
one so you don't step in number two. Go on,
college boy, you know so much. Good luck in the
real world. Watch a decent movie like Real Lobo or
(33:47):
The Green Berets. Those are real movies, your college educated jackass,
of course opinions very you do you and don't forget
see him at nay, it's chee.
Speaker 18 (34:02):
I stand on a hill, but not for a thrill,
but for the breath of a fresh kill. And never
mind the man who contemplates doing away with license plates.
He stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent from
(34:23):
the heat of the laundra back then.
Speaker 7 (34:27):
Leaving his soul.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
And then, like in poetry, I go dot dot dot,
you know, kind of off center. Then I drop down.
Speaker 18 (34:36):
And then I go leaving his soul, parting the waters
of the madula our blongota of.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
BNPID. You're like that job boy.
Speaker 7 (34:50):
Yeah, good morning.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
There's a big shon the radio. Monday, December four Yeah,
looking at days in history, it was on this date
in nineteen thirty the Vatican approved the rhythm method of
birth control.
Speaker 6 (35:42):
Free.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
I've been looking for it just to play this since
it was national. I know, I don't know why. It's
just hit me funny work, but I don't care. It's
because that's here.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
He you like that.
Speaker 7 (36:02):
Happy do we have that.
Speaker 4 (36:08):
Gloria Estefron song. Rhythm is gonna get Let's not push
it down.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Good morning, got a big show on the radio. Hang
on episode two of our Married Powers and Things. Where's
some day we got a prize back? Somebody can win
an easy way take se get that John Boyn Brother
bucket with your liquid performance all the motive cleaning and detailing. Kid.
Need to check out the full line of appearance, maintenance
and performance products Liquid Performance dot com, Summit Racing dot com,
(36:39):
or go to Big Show dot com. Click on that
liquid performance better hang on playboard. In minutes.
Speaker 5 (36:44):
Here we go.
Speaker 8 (36:52):
My readmand, my redman drive surrounding a minivan.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
God, my wife and some kids. So life's on the skits.
Speaker 8 (37:01):
Here there goes the married man. How's he feel?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Listen, dude, this sport guy's.
Speaker 8 (37:10):
Really screwed hanging on. Buy a thread, cord of milk,
loaf of bread. Hang there, there goes the married man.
Got a big gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap,
and he's just about had enough.
Speaker 7 (37:28):
For this girl.
Speaker 8 (37:30):
Married man, manored man, friendly neighborhood, married man life for him,
has no single life or let him do what a
she says. It's about time he grew.
Speaker 7 (37:42):
Well.
Speaker 8 (37:43):
Wherever there's a screw, you'll find the married man.
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Last time married man, College Buddy, Drinking Buddy, and Indigo
Girl stopped in to get some real superpowers from the
new Powers and Things store at Brushywood Mall. But after
home of the salesman strapped on heroes into the cyclotron,
mayhem and turn off my cellphone. Hello, Hi, honey, bunny,
(38:10):
there's something up for dinner on the way home.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Married man, you better turn that off, Homer, just through
the switch.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
Listen, Honey, I really have to run.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
I'll call you after your gift now.
Speaker 15 (38:23):
And don't there there, big Girl.
Speaker 4 (38:28):
Now. Holma has finally shut down the malfunctioning machine and
opens the door to check on our heroes. Hey, didn't
the old super neighbors? Everybody okay? In here?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
I feel really weird.
Speaker 4 (38:47):
I feel a bit strange myself.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Is it hot in here?
Speaker 5 (38:52):
It ain't just you.
Speaker 4 (38:53):
You look hot to me too.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Big Girl, Drinking Buddy, Please not now.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Wow, you guys don't look nearly as crispy as I
thought you'd be.
Speaker 7 (39:01):
How are you idiot? You could have killed.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
Us, easy, chump, It was my cell phone that caused
the cyclotron to malfunction.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Oh yeah, married man, you idiot, you could.
Speaker 9 (39:11):
Have killed us.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
So, Homer, what happened? Well, when the tyclotron zapped your telephone,
it caused a giant overload, and the powers apply. Apparently
the computer that controls everything automatically rebooted itself while the
ion gun was zapping you. Well that sounds rather dangerous. Nah,
those walls are a foot and a half stick and
lined with lead. I was never in any danger at all.
(39:34):
I meant dangerous for us.
Speaker 15 (39:36):
Hey, does this mean we didn't get our superpowers?
Speaker 5 (39:38):
My guest?
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Oh yo, you've got powers, they just might not be
the exact ones you signed up for. Let me just
lock up and put the back in five minutes. Sign
in the window and we'll get you guys checked out.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
Married man, I feel kind of funny.
Speaker 4 (39:53):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 15 (39:54):
Me three rega. My head's hurting, I'm dizzy, my stomach
is kind.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
Of sin you always feel.
Speaker 4 (40:01):
Call like everybody called down. We're all alive and we've
all got some kind of superpower. Let's not fly off
the handle here.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
So Homer, how can we tell which power we ended
up with?
Speaker 4 (40:12):
Well, normally, all you have to do is take a
deep breath and kind of relax, like the guy in
Caddyshack said, be the ball who wants to go Perry.
I'll give it a shot. Okay, now just relax. Try
to let your mind go completely blank.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Hey, drinking buddy, that part should be easy for you.
Speaker 4 (40:29):
You hurt me big as I try to focus on
anything new or unusual you might be feeling. Okay, Now
count backwards from five to zero. Okay, five four three two.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Married man, I thought the cyclotron fried your phone.
Speaker 4 (40:48):
It did. The ringing is coming from my right hand. Hello,
this is amazing. I can hear her voice inside my head. Wow,
the machine transferred to functions of his telephone directly into
his body. No, honey, we've had a bit of a
(41:12):
snag here. It might be a while yet. Yes, I'll
touch base with you in just a few minutes. Okay, Great.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
A human cell phone. Wow. That ought to strike fear
in the hearts of evildoers everywhere.
Speaker 4 (41:26):
All right, old chum, let's see what you ended up with.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Okay, Now what do I do again?
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Count backwards from five, five four three two. Suddenly college
Buddy's eyes and met a stream of greasy, hot dog
shaped object.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Great, Scott, dang, sound of what happened? Where'd all those
hot dogs come from.
Speaker 4 (41:52):
Actually, I believe they're broad words. Mighty Homer, what exactly
would you call that? It would appear to be the
power to shoot projectiles of ground animal protein from one's
eye sockets at will, ground animal protein. In other words,
he's got meat vision meat vision.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Oh man, this is the dumbest power ever.
Speaker 15 (42:14):
Hey, look at it this way, big guy, You'll never
be more than a good heart squint away from a
good hot breakfast.
Speaker 4 (42:22):
HOLLI didn't get that money's works. Could these be the
least useful superpowers in crime fighting history?
Speaker 12 (42:29):
Killed it again?
Speaker 4 (42:30):
Next time when we'll hear Homer say a meat vision, guy,
I'm kind of hungry. Drinking buddy say.
Speaker 15 (42:35):
Yeah, how about blinking us out a plate of them
little cocktail.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Winging and college buddy say, don't gown it?
Speaker 12 (42:49):
Dang it?
Speaker 4 (42:50):
Top best on next specta tightening Adventure, Same married times,
same married chand loves you'll find them.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Married right man, Episode three and about hours something special
at the bottom of the hour with married man. Now,
let's playing the current events quiz Bedley, what are we
dealing with? MENSA?
Speaker 4 (43:11):
Welcome's kind of surprising new member.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Ah, that's something because I was going through my stuff
and I found my old MENSA card. You had a card.
I'll bring it to those names on it. I pictured
my name Eddie. You thought you were the smart one
in high school.
Speaker 5 (43:29):
I was.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I was sliding.
Speaker 4 (43:31):
See this, I need to see how they spelled mensa.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Yeah, I bring it in tomorrow. Okay, all right, So
where were we? We were not believing you? Colona bitch
quiz We got all right, one ain't hundred big show
you told free line take see you will win. We
play next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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