March 18, 2024 • 38 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Married Man reveals his master plan.. - Gary Busey makes a post-Saint Patrick’s Day entry into his diary.. - The Crocodile Stalker goes in search of the Taliban.. - We do some cooking with Raiford.. - and Murray tells us about some corporate mergers we’d like to see..
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, and you got the Big Show on al Rady.
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Thisious Connery, Sean Connery, And you might think that I'm
just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star, and you'd
be right. What's my secret? The truth is I can't
stop my day without listening to the Big Show with
John Boy and Billy crush me. They're a lot funnier
than Doctor Noan blofeld.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Ooh got a noodle do lovanandum.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Pardo, don't worry.
Speaker 6 (01:11):
That's we usually play this when I'm giving away my
wonderful thing of the week. Just maybe a reminder get
at the Big Show dot com and get your name
in the hat to win a sunglass holder pair of
chord hobout.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
What's that part of the shot doing the shell called
that was.
Speaker 7 (01:30):
One there the chapter primer I could be the part
that goes boom before and is tucked in a leather
cigar case.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You can win both out in the woods from the
son out of us.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
I want to keep your cigars dry.
Speaker 8 (01:49):
Okay, yes, okay, quick National Days, National Awkward Moments Day
like this, that's an Lacey oatmeal cookie day.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
What's a lacey oat mill cookie?
Speaker 9 (02:09):
They're really hard and uh and and thin. You see
those you'll around holiday holiday times and stuff. Okay, crunchy, they're.
Speaker 6 (02:19):
Good National Sloppy Joe Day, all right, Sloppy Joe.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Man, which is a mugger branch beef. How do you
get that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I am bringing some eggs to work about every week.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
They are good stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I can't be giving away steaks.
Speaker 10 (02:47):
I don't blame.
Speaker 11 (02:49):
Understood.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Playing a little burger enough for a sloppy Joe, all right.
Well I'll have a Sloppy Joe Sloppy Joe.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Day, all right, And we got three days and this
are saved up.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
We'll get first prize pack out and get to win
and begin and all right, we're gonna give.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
It away, give it away for contest to day. Start
right now. Big Shoe's on the radio. Good morning, Big
Show's on the radio.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
Coming up, we play outburs Winter gets a Southern East
Pets pack.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
We all love our dogs.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
And if yours has anxiety issues like during a thunderstorm
or many burrow for some reason, when I get.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
A text see hello that it breaks out. Bro Wow
all right, so leend me give me a pack of
them bacon flavored pets CBD gummies from Southern East Pets
A first loser, I'm taking them home, all right? Right,
southerneaspets dot com look for their link of the Big
Show dot com. Use coch JBB get an exclusive offer.
(03:48):
Maybe I'll try that, alright, Dia, let's look at that
three days.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
In history where we'll get our categories. It was March eighteenth,
nineteen sixty one, popping Fresh the Pillsbury.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
No boy was born. What was he like a little
donut hole? At first? I Didnz's baby pictures?
Speaker 7 (04:09):
I have no.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Idea popping pressure all right?
Speaker 6 (04:13):
Move up to nineteen seventy the NFL adopted a rule
that required all players' names to appear on the back
of their jerseys. The rule had been borrowed from the
merging AFL. Wow, let's put.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
First put names on a jersey? What they think of next?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Two thousand and one, workers equipped with a bulldozer, face
mask and a court order have removed one hundred and
fifty four tons of garbage from a man's home he
was living outside Madrid, Spain. The job took two weeks,
with thirty truckloads of trash all the way from the
house and surrounding lot. Alisa, the fifty eight year old
(04:51):
resident who repeatedly refused request to clean up the place,
lived in a tiny compartment in the back and reached
it through a tunnel carved out of the garbage.
Speaker 9 (05:01):
Now, it's a very popular show on cable.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
That's been true. A lot of people have that have
that problem.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, it's called Randy's Wife.
Speaker 11 (05:10):
Man.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
He's arounded by of course, all the stuff I've said.
At least I'm giving it away.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Now, well, I mean your wife takes care of it
a lot. Then I don't know about you, just like
y'all at work about right. Well, there he goes.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
There's our categories one eight hundred big shows you told
free line across America. We play out birds next, Good morning,
(05:57):
it's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Runn do your Monday March eighteen.
Speaker 10 (06:01):
And you're getting to work with go tomorrow.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
It will be officially spring time, right man, Hey, check
out our feature track for The Big Show.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Big Box and Day Murray corporate mergers. We'd like to see.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Search your keyword merger.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Hit the Big Box app, The Big Show Dot com out.
Speaker 12 (06:21):
That's Upburst. Let's play upburst. It's the game that anyone
can win. John Boy and Billy give the prizes from
the big Prize be let's go contested number one.
Speaker 10 (06:38):
This should really be a lot of fun.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
When you're playing Upburst.
Speaker 10 (06:44):
Have a hurry up and.
Speaker 12 (06:45):
Guest time you love the best time you have a
big shots.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
Let's say, hey, the quick from Mount Carmel till.
Speaker 13 (06:55):
I say, wait, good morning.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Greg, good morning.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
I think some guys would pay to have Tater scream
there now, I think some guys have.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Good that Barry in the booth. Can't you go over
to areas? Just talking about in my headphones? All right, Craig,
we'll welcome in here. Barty, glad you made it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
We're all good. It's okay.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Well you ready to go.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Do it?
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Let's do it?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Then, first category give us three food mascots ready go
uh Jelly Green, Giant, Tony Tiger and Pietersburg dough boars.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Where are three good?
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Alright, Craig, Now in five seconds, three parts of an
NFL uniform ready to go.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Helmet yep, the helmet, shoulder pads man, ma'am, ma'am, And
for the wind three things you throw in the garbage.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
Ready go.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Paper cows, bad food and empty suitcanes, rock some soup.
Speaker 6 (08:18):
Well, Craig, you got the Southern East Pets pack. I
hope you got a dog or something that you love
over there in Mount Carmel.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
What if don't I know plenty of people do.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
He's just assuming you live alone because of the soup
can thing.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
I like my suit.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
I'm wining you, Craig. All right, my boy, you hang on,
jack can hook you up.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
All right?
Speaker 5 (08:48):
All right, tell me your news on the other side.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
On Monday morning, song from the Pride of East Texas
and be Robert Earl Keane.
Speaker 10 (08:56):
You know you know to be swerving.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
First thing Monday morning.
Speaker 12 (09:03):
M h.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Good morning, Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 6 (09:37):
Back to Big Show member Robert arl Keane and the
band driving It Squirming this Monday Morning.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
In it that's done by Robert Earl Kean his band lying.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
In the ben Shall.
Speaker 14 (09:50):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 10 (09:55):
Come on, Jackie, get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 15 (09:57):
Sometimes on my days build with and rid as I
traveled and left bad things.
Speaker 16 (10:09):
Ain't going my way because there's always someone swarming in
my life.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
You keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 15 (10:22):
And it's causing lots of Thinginger.
Speaker 10 (10:26):
I'm a honking on my horror. I'm shooting you the phone.
Speaker 16 (10:33):
Keep switching on my bride lines him. When you're swerving
all lives pie By, you're running someone off the ride.
The day jove way, I thought I never never.
Speaker 14 (10:58):
Another Holly else could I feed. But nowing you run
into me, I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 17 (11:12):
All tank up, No one's at the wooding. You keep
swimming in my life, just causing.
Speaker 10 (11:23):
Lots of bags. I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting
you the fine.
Speaker 16 (11:34):
I keep switching on my briding lights, but you're just
too dimpty. Now when you're swerving all lights, how By,
you're running someone off the ride.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Driving a big show.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Good morning Masha on the radio, it was the Monday Morning.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
Breakfast Theater Action. Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Today's episode The Patient.
Speaker 18 (12:36):
As our story opens, a barefoot man wearing a loose
hospital gown and dragging an IV stand slowly enters Tater
O'Malley's Irish Pub.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
In Dublin, Georgia. That's Dublin, Georgia.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Beautiful Georgia.
Speaker 19 (12:56):
Or my word, you.
Speaker 9 (12:57):
Part man, let me have your choice seat there.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Right neighborly, have you miss? It's nice to find somebody
with a little sympathy.
Speaker 9 (13:06):
Precious mother Mary, you wouldn't be coming from the emergency
word next door, now, would you?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (13:11):
They I mean cooped up over for about a week, folking,
prodding me and running all sorts of tests, And about
a half hour ago some dang fool doctor finally came
in told me there was nothing they could do for me.
Speaker 9 (13:25):
Merciful sins, your part man, But that just sounds wowful.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
It was I said, I know something I can do
for me. Leave So I didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I saw this place and I vered if I was
done for I might as well have would drink? May?
Speaker 9 (13:41):
Are you sure that's a good idea?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
It a skippy I do? In fact, I think it's
a real good idea. So bring me six shots of
jameson Rare, four shots of Pappy van Winkle, and a
pint aguinness.
Speaker 9 (13:54):
Oo, did you want to be a fan of h me?
He's standing between a day and man and he's final wishes.
I'll get started on the shore.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Right.
Speaker 18 (14:04):
The bartender pours the man's shonets then sets him down
in front of him one by one, then turns to
the guinness tap and fills his mug.
Speaker 9 (14:15):
Alrighty, now one kind of guinness and all my stars?
Have you already down all those ten shots?
Speaker 5 (14:22):
I have, Missy, With what I got, I'll shooting have lookie.
Speaker 9 (14:27):
Here, friend, I don't think Saint Peter would be denying
entrance to a poor soul because of his final wish.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You wouldn't say that if you knowed what I got.
Speaker 9 (14:37):
Tell me Tell me then, friend, what exactly is it
that you've got two dollars?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Hanaba?
Speaker 5 (14:49):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yes, mister Fazley, we've seen a bottle of jameson RABBI
for just not want.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Stuck up there.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Tune in again next time and we'll hear the crusty
old male nurse say, hey, big man, let me hold
a dollar.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Good morning, and you got the Big Show on already
have more chances for you to win coming up after
your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 10 (15:15):
Oh oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 14 (15:17):
I didn't see you.
Speaker 20 (15:19):
This is Professor Mulvin handed Day, head of hey ah oh,
ahead of Big Show Science and History Division and you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Benny on the Big Show.
Speaker 21 (15:35):
Yo.
Speaker 20 (15:36):
When I say there'll be history, I didn't mean to
apply a negative.
Speaker 19 (15:39):
I simply meant that they they Oh what did I mean?
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Good morning? It's a big showing the radio.
Speaker 6 (16:22):
Alright, today's one of those John boyn Billy album mondays
we getting that cuts off.
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Our rough cuts.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Album was backing old two when we was hunting down
and taking out the Taliban. As always, we were keeping
spirits high right here in the great United States of America.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Keidan, what's going on over there?
Speaker 10 (16:45):
Hit it.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Three things, true believers. I am big al Qaida and
I am big al Jaziah.
Speaker 11 (16:51):
And went the co managers of Taliban Motors in Kabu,
and have we got to sell for you? As we
all know, during the current emergency, Mullah Omar has encouraged
us all to get out and spend some shekels to
get our nation's economy moving again.
Speaker 22 (17:04):
Taliman Motors is doing our part by declaring holy war
against high automobile prices.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Y y yea yea yea yeah, yea yay.
Speaker 11 (17:10):
Come on up this Saturday for the Mother of all
emergency inventory clearance events.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
We have almost seven.
Speaker 22 (17:17):
Make that almost six good clean pre all vehicles on
the lot right.
Speaker 11 (17:21):
Now, and they've all got to go to somebody at
some price.
Speaker 22 (17:24):
Nineteen eighty two chryst La Cortoba just one hundred and
seventy five thousand shekels.
Speaker 11 (17:28):
Nineteen sixty nine Road Rather Reddition Dodge Charger.
Speaker 22 (17:31):
Price to move now, Come on down for the lowest
price is ever on your next car.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Or Dark you mean no, I mean Dark is coming.
Speaker 11 (17:43):
Plus meet the wacky wake up guy from Taliban Radio
Momar in the morning. He will be broadcasting live Saturday
from two to four pm. Plus will day last three
Peter Bargers.
Speaker 22 (17:53):
We will be here to the last customers served, or
until the Tomahawk missiles from the Invaders destroyed the show room.
Speaker 11 (17:58):
Taliban Motors on the Jihad by passing at the railroad treasting.
Speaker 22 (18:05):
Make that on did you hid bypasswad the railroad trestle used.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
To be nipty thick cloud of black smoke.
Speaker 22 (18:10):
Caliban Motor no shut, no shoes, no problem, shoesday only.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Shot, Good morning, got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
We got tracks off of our album Rough Cuts and
Yeah married man featured on that album.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Hang on, we'll get that episode the second. First, you're
gonna give away a bull snot price back on John
Boyjepary here in minutes. Truck drivers keep America moving and
bulls not make sure they look good doing it. Looper
bulls not at drug stops across America and go to
Brownhox dot com. So click on the banner when you
hit the Big Show dot com. Alright, I ain't gonna
(18:52):
blaybard minutes right now, let's do it.
Speaker 10 (19:02):
Married man.
Speaker 21 (19:03):
Married man drives around in a mini van, god a
wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man.
Speaker 10 (19:16):
How's he feel?
Speaker 21 (19:17):
Listen, dude, this poor guy's really screwed, hanging on by
a thread cord of milk, loaf of bread.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Hey, there there goes the married man.
Speaker 12 (19:29):
Got a big gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap,
and he's just about hanging on this crime.
Speaker 21 (19:39):
Married man, married man, friendly neighborhood, married man.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
Life for him has nothing.
Speaker 21 (19:46):
Wife or let him do what they she says, it's
about timing groove up.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
Wherever there's a screw up, you'll.
Speaker 10 (19:55):
Find the married man.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
As our story opens, the office idiots gathered around the
coffee machine at the start of another grueling day at
Smith's Industries.
Speaker 10 (20:05):
And so the lone Ranger says, Panto, you idiot, I said,
go to town and bring back a passy.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
Morning guys.
Speaker 10 (20:14):
Morning Bernie A did you hear the one about the
Lord Ranger?
Speaker 9 (20:17):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Uh, sorry, Fred, I'm a little busy right now. College buddy,
Can I see you in my office for just a second?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Sure?
Speaker 10 (20:22):
Excuse me, Fred?
Speaker 12 (20:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 23 (20:23):
Later?
Speaker 5 (20:25):
So, uh, what's up close the door? I've got some
big news. You and I have been invited to join
the NUBAPC.
Speaker 10 (20:33):
We have, but we're white guys.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
No, no, no.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
The naa PC.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
The National Association of Action Packed Crime Fighters, the most
influential superhero interest group in America, very elite membership Superman, Batman,
Captain America, Spider Man. So how did we get in?
I saw an ad in the newspaper last week. The
NBAPC is opening a new chapter and they're inviting all
local superheroes to apply.
Speaker 24 (20:59):
Man Besides us, there aren't any local superheroes unless you
count that little redheaded Wagers that works at Al Sports Connection.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Exactly where's shoe win. How much does it cost? Two
hundred dollars?
Speaker 10 (21:10):
Two hundred dollars for what?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Well, we get discount admission to the annual convention. There's
a quarterly newsletter, a member's only website. Oh and we
get a really cool window sticker that lets us park
our crime fighting vehicle and handicap spaces without being told.
Of course, we have to actually be investigating a crime.
Speaker 10 (21:26):
Yeah, but two hundred bucks.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Hey, there's two of us. That's only like one hundred bucks.
Apiece comes out to twenty seven cents a day.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
What do you say you win? Well, it would be
cool to park in a handicap space every once.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
In a while. Okay, the audition is tonight at eight o'clock.
I'll pick you up around seven thirty.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Okay, do I have to wear the suit?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
It's a superhero meeting. Of course you have to wear
the suit. Well, can I wear my regular clothes? And
changing the minivan on the way over?
Speaker 5 (21:51):
What the old lady in apartment next door looks at me?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Funny?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Sometime, college buddy with great power comes great responsibility. That evening,
married man and college buddy arrived for the meeting had
a rundown warehouse on the CD side of town.
Speaker 11 (22:08):
This is it?
Speaker 10 (22:09):
What a dump?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Hey, a superhero group can exactly book the Magnolia room
at the Holiday Inn.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Why not insurance? Huh, think about it.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I mean one of the X Men gets hammered, fires
a plasma bolt at some loudmouth at the bar.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Instant lawsuit. Yeah, good point. So which way do we go? Well, look,
there's a sign superhero meeting first door on the left.
Let's try that.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
So they have a big convention every year. Huh yeah,
this year it's in Los Angeles.
Speaker 10 (22:36):
Oh yeah, you think we'll get to meet teen queen?
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Who?
Speaker 10 (22:39):
Teen queen?
Speaker 24 (22:40):
Teenage superhero out in LA. She's a pop singer by day,
superhero by night? Killer bod where's his short little top?
Shows off for belly buttons?
Speaker 5 (22:49):
College buddy? Sometimes you are such a perm Welcome, married man,
weilcome to your doom. Great Caesar's goat. It's my arch
me divorced man. Yes, it's been a while.
Speaker 25 (23:03):
What have you been up too lately? Wait, let me
guess nothing. What a dusty old dump?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
What's a foul evildoer like you? Do I get a
meeting of a superhero group. It was a trap you
idiot a trap? Holy hoodwink, Holy hoodwink. Look, first you
call me an idiot, now you make fun of my
colorful ad libs. Do you want to be my partner
or not?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Tylight?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
See you fools, I want you an undivided attention when
I destroy you now, then.
Speaker 10 (23:38):
Prepare to.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
H Could you excuse me for just a second? Hello, Hi, honey, bunny.
What's that?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Pick up a couple of things at the quick mart
on the way home? Uh, listen, sweetie, I'm kind of
tied up right now. Can I call you right back?
Holy hoodwink? Indeed, married man and the clutches of his
odd enemy had on a school night, no less ten
n Next time when we'll hair college buddy, say.
Speaker 10 (24:05):
Married man, I told you I didn't want to wear
my outfit. My tights keep riding up and I think
I got prickly heat.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
And devost man say, well, you know I use gold bot.
Oh you shut out golf.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Mess on next tightening adventure, same married time, same married channel.
Speaker 5 (24:22):
There's a school Look you'll find the.
Speaker 21 (24:24):
Married mine.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
All ride off rough guts Teleman motors too will be
coming up at this top of the hour. About a word,
all right, well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Jump right
in here. Good luck googling, this says Randy said night yea, yeah,
problems here. You'll have to learn how to spell it. Okay,
(24:48):
So this is what Jime no sophieus I should have
read a head. Uh, Jim no sophis jymnosophist.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
There you go.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
This is what jimnosifists. Where there's to work? Good luck
any idea?
Speaker 9 (25:06):
I know that's an athletic supporter.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
I don't want to think about it.
Speaker 6 (25:12):
What y'all got one? Ain't under the Big Show? You
told free line. We played John Boydgepardy. Next, Good Morning,
(25:43):
It's super Big Joe.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
On the radio and get confused.
Speaker 6 (25:48):
Today's feature track from The Big Show. Bit Box I
r Agent Murray Corporate Mergers. We'd like to see church
for keyword mergers when you hit the Big Box.
Speaker 23 (25:59):
At the show dot com there right now, let's play
Yes live across America. It's John Boy Jeopardy and now
a man who once came to work wearing pajama bottoms,
a Daha T shirt, flip flops, and a cake he
borrowed from Rick Flare.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
It was picture day. Here's John boy a good memories.
Thank you all right.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
Let's say that Thomas out of Greenwood, South Carolina. Good morning, Thomas, Hey,
John Boy and game, Hey buddy, welcome. All right, well,
Randy says, good luck googling this. This is what gymnosifist
wears to work. John Boy, I'm going with button naked in.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
You say they wear nothing to work.
Speaker 10 (26:53):
Let's say.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Thomas, damn you spell check? All right, Thomas, way to go.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah, Actually they are philosophers that work in the nude.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
That is right. Philosophers, Yes, philosophers thinker. Yes, he looked
like he was nagga, did it? Thomas? Thomas might be
one many people know that. How are you doing? How
you doing? Thomas?
Speaker 15 (27:27):
Hey baby?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (27:29):
Oh well, oh on Thomas, Jackie, get that bulls Nott
Prize BacT did you just want Buddyngratulations?
Speaker 21 (27:37):
Thank you very much, Toma Way.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Way how many hours on top of your news twenty
minutes away, we got an entry into the diary of
Gary Busey.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Oh day after.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export. It's late at night, you're
fast asleep, and a shut away figure is about to
break into your home, but you're protected.
Speaker 26 (28:47):
Yeah, it's the James Brown home security alone. The hat
is working along in the sleepy business designed by the
godfather of home protection himself. But James Brown alaw protects
you from Burglaw's vandals peeping tall and if you act
(29:12):
now will included no extra cost. The patterner James Brown
hotpants far along. So put the soul patrol on your keyhole.
With a James Brown home security system, you'll say.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
John Boy and dilly ladies and gentlemen. Mister James Brown.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yeah that doesn't want to tell people, you know.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
Thank God, take out to be that easy eques. It's
all my little us badges and live in the living room.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
This morning radio done right, good morning.
Speaker 6 (30:21):
This will make show on the radio for you Monday,
March eighteenth, or off the John boydn Billy album rough
cuts at the top of the hour, when I met
and women of the US Militaris hunting down to Tyler
ban I'm backing old too, right, here's important.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
I boys around the world, you killed it? Oh right,
all right?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
That beausy.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
I come on, here we go. It's time for the
Diary of Gary Busey.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Dear diary. This is Gary.
Speaker 27 (31:01):
Obucy. At least that was I was calling myself. Over
the weekend, Crazy Frankie and I celebrated Saint Patrick's Day
like never before. Usually I saved myself for Sinko Demayo. Well,
this year I was sweet on this little Irish chikita
named the Lassie mckhaygis. I had my heart set on
(31:24):
sham rocking her world, but I didn't have her number
or her address. But I knew she was going to
be partying in the neighborhood. So the crazy One and
I went on a pub crawl in West Hollywood emphasis
on crawl.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Green bear, green beer, sticking in your green rear, feeling frisken,
give me whiskey, payon in the bushes. First stop on
the list was Little Wee Willie Whiskers, owned by a
buddy of mine Irish Jewish little person named Willie O'weintraub.
He was a stunt man for them Lord of the
(32:00):
Rings Pictures and was a stand in for Stuart Little.
He was selling half pints for a half buck and
had a bunch of the tables in the place. Pulled
back and Leprechaun wrastling set up in the middle. We
decided to take a gander while I was scoping the
room for my future ex Missus Musty. First match was
(32:24):
Dinky o Tripod squaring off against Shardy mixed kid marks.
It wasn't a fair fright from the get go. Shardi
kept grabbing his shelley and poking Dinky in the dinky
The old ref was about as useless as a condom
in a convent, so I had to step in. And
(32:46):
I had just enough logger in my tank to feel froggy,
so I jumped in the ring to lay down the law. Unfortunately,
Shardi was less than reasonable. The last thing I remember
was him using my pot of gold as a speed
I took that as a sign to move on. Come here,
(33:08):
little feller, gonna teach you a lesson. I'm the wrong
feller to be messing. Next thing, you know, I'm a
sopraner because a munchkin is wailing on my manner. Once
my voice come down back to normal, we walked a
couple of blocks over to Rosie o'wads, an Irish pub
for big girls. Sign in the window said happy Saint
(33:32):
Fatty's Day.
Speaker 27 (33:34):
When I burst in the door, I suddenly forgot about
Lassie Mick what's her nubbins? It was like I died
and gone to fair skinned, red haired, freckled cleavage heaven.
They was all out there on the floor doing Irish
jigs in that river dance, high stepping and I don't
know what all. It was a perfect time to unleash
the legendary beauty boogie. I was gyrating and toad tapping
(33:58):
and singing along with the music, and.
Speaker 10 (34:03):
We was a hit.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
We was riding the herd on a bevy of beefy
beauties from the Emerald Isle.
Speaker 10 (34:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 27 (34:12):
On the way off the door, I finally saw my
fair lady, Laslie mckaigis making out with Shardy mcskid marks
between shots of Glen Livid out of his curly toad shoe.
So to get even, I went back to Deadie Kennedy's
and hooked up with some walleyed Irish vampire was fair
tires in her ear lobes and a tattoo of a
(34:32):
naked Liam neeson Field dressing a clown.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Well Diary, I got this ski doe.
Speaker 27 (34:44):
Crazy Frankie and I are going to sneak into Colin
Farrell's trailer and put exploding caps in his lucky strikes.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Until next time. Diary x'es and o's gary.
Speaker 27 (34:58):
Obucye.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Good morning to make show us on the radio. Hang
over your local news weather sports.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
This was Royal.
Speaker 19 (35:10):
That is the King Vedo, slayer of the Visigals, destroyer
of the Mongol, and aggravator of the Ottomanivea. All listening
to my two royal jesers, those gap toothed barbarians, John
Boy and Billyard Old Big show A rise a loyal
(35:31):
of beef, A rise, Duke of Ellington, A rise, water
of ten, essence of marp.
Speaker 10 (35:40):
Look back, leave you.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Good morning.
Speaker 6 (36:15):
It's big showing the radio tracks all fine, John Boyneville's
Rough Cuts album. When we were chasing down the Taliban,
we were here bugs Bunny in them.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
You know, we always said that we treat our enemy
like bugs. Bunny used to treat Hitler in the Nazis
back in the day.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You know, you gotta do it like this.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Thank you for the inspiration.
Speaker 5 (36:41):
All right, here we go, green things, true believers.
Speaker 11 (36:47):
I'm Big Alkaia and i am Big Jazia, and we're
the co managers of Taliban Motors and Cabul and if
we had a sand for you looking for a good
clean use car for the little woman.
Speaker 22 (36:57):
But stopped that.
Speaker 5 (36:58):
You know, women are not allowed to drive cars.
Speaker 11 (37:01):
If you've been putting off that new Cara truck, now
is the time to move.
Speaker 22 (37:04):
It is our The boss has fled across the border
into Pakistan. They have all got to go sales. Event
we still have almost six, make that almost five go
clean preor vehicles on the lot right now, nineteen seventy four.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
For must tank two GT. Just four hundred eighty seven,
six hundred and ninety nine sheckles.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
And remember we thought the no Saturday from two to
four meat American imperialist sponsor Monger Manroe Fisher, he'll be
signing copies of his new book, Hails from Underneath the
Surface plus three feet.
Speaker 10 (37:33):
The Burgers, one of the last Caliban.
Speaker 22 (37:35):
Motors on the G hot Bypass had three heels road.
Make that on the G heart Bypass had two hills road.
Speaker 10 (37:42):
Alba motors, The Walking Man's Friend.
Speaker 5 (37:45):
No shirt, no shoes, no problem, y y yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:54):
Good morning, got a big zone. The radio the two
was hunt Down the Taliban. When this album Rough Cut
came out, we got the Crockstogger hunting down Taliban right here,
don't move, coming up.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
Just let me tell you right quick about our prize pack.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
A Southern East Pets pack is like you know the
dogs when you have anxiety issues, like during a thunderstorm,
Well you gotta try these bacon flavored pets CBD gummies
from Southern East Pets. Just click on the link at
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exclusive offer all right play for in minutes.
Good morning, and you got the Big Show on al Rady.
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Thisious Connery, Sean Connery, And you might think that I'm
just another sophisticated yet rugged Scottish movie star, and you'd
be right. What's my secret? The truth is I can't
stop my day without listening to the Big Show with
John Boy and Billy crush me. They're a lot funnier
than Doctor Noan blofeld.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Ooh got a noodle do lovanandum.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Pardo, don't worry.
Speaker 6 (01:11):
That's we usually play this when I'm giving away my
wonderful thing of the week. Just maybe a reminder get
at the Big Show dot com and get your name
in the hat to win a sunglass holder pair of
chord hobout.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
What's that part of the shot doing the shell called
that was.
Speaker 7 (01:30):
One there the chapter primer I could be the part
that goes boom before and is tucked in a leather
cigar case.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
You can win both out in the woods from the
son out of us.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
I want to keep your cigars dry.
Speaker 8 (01:49):
Okay, yes, okay, quick National Days, National Awkward Moments Day
like this, that's an Lacey oatmeal cookie day.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
What's a lacey oat mill cookie?
Speaker 9 (02:09):
They're really hard and uh and and thin. You see
those you'll around holiday holiday times and stuff. Okay, crunchy, they're.
Speaker 6 (02:19):
Good National Sloppy Joe Day, all right, Sloppy Joe.
Speaker 5 (02:26):
Man, which is a mugger branch beef. How do you
get that? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I am bringing some eggs to work about every week.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
They are good stuff.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
I can't be giving away steaks.
Speaker 10 (02:47):
I don't blame.
Speaker 11 (02:49):
Understood.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Playing a little burger enough for a sloppy Joe, all right.
Well I'll have a Sloppy Joe Sloppy Joe.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
Day, all right, And we got three days and this
are saved up.
Speaker 6 (02:59):
We'll get first prize pack out and get to win
and begin and all right, we're gonna give.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
It away, give it away for contest to day. Start
right now. Big Shoe's on the radio. Good morning, Big
Show's on the radio.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
Coming up, we play outburs Winter gets a Southern East
Pets pack.
Speaker 5 (03:18):
We all love our dogs.
Speaker 6 (03:20):
And if yours has anxiety issues like during a thunderstorm
or many burrow for some reason, when I get.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
A text see hello that it breaks out. Bro Wow
all right, so leend me give me a pack of
them bacon flavored pets CBD gummies from Southern East Pets
A first loser, I'm taking them home, all right? Right,
southerneaspets dot com look for their link of the Big
Show dot com. Use coch JBB get an exclusive offer.
(03:48):
Maybe I'll try that, alright, Dia, let's look at that
three days.
Speaker 6 (03:51):
In history where we'll get our categories. It was March eighteenth,
nineteen sixty one, popping Fresh the Pillsbury.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
No boy was born. What was he like a little
donut hole? At first? I Didnz's baby pictures?
Speaker 7 (04:09):
I have no.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Idea popping pressure all right?
Speaker 6 (04:13):
Move up to nineteen seventy the NFL adopted a rule
that required all players' names to appear on the back
of their jerseys. The rule had been borrowed from the
merging AFL. Wow, let's put.
Speaker 5 (04:27):
First put names on a jersey? What they think of next?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Two thousand and one, workers equipped with a bulldozer, face
mask and a court order have removed one hundred and
fifty four tons of garbage from a man's home he
was living outside Madrid, Spain. The job took two weeks,
with thirty truckloads of trash all the way from the
house and surrounding lot. Alisa, the fifty eight year old
(04:51):
resident who repeatedly refused request to clean up the place,
lived in a tiny compartment in the back and reached
it through a tunnel carved out of the garbage.
Speaker 9 (05:01):
Now, it's a very popular show on cable.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
That's been true. A lot of people have that have
that problem.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, it's called Randy's Wife.
Speaker 11 (05:10):
Man.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
He's arounded by of course, all the stuff I've said.
At least I'm giving it away.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Now, well, I mean your wife takes care of it
a lot. Then I don't know about you, just like
y'all at work about right. Well, there he goes.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
There's our categories one eight hundred big shows you told
free line across America. We play out birds next, Good morning,
(05:57):
it's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Runn do your Monday March eighteen.
Speaker 10 (06:01):
And you're getting to work with go tomorrow.
Speaker 6 (06:03):
It will be officially spring time, right man, Hey, check
out our feature track for The Big Show.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
Big Box and Day Murray corporate mergers. We'd like to see.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Search your keyword merger.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Hit the Big Box app, The Big Show Dot com out.
Speaker 12 (06:21):
That's Upburst. Let's play upburst. It's the game that anyone
can win. John Boy and Billy give the prizes from
the big Prize be let's go contested number one.
Speaker 10 (06:38):
This should really be a lot of fun.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
When you're playing Upburst.
Speaker 10 (06:44):
Have a hurry up and.
Speaker 12 (06:45):
Guest time you love the best time you have a
big shots.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
Let's say, hey, the quick from Mount Carmel till.
Speaker 13 (06:55):
I say, wait, good morning.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Greg, good morning.
Speaker 6 (07:09):
I think some guys would pay to have Tater scream
there now, I think some guys have.
Speaker 5 (07:21):
Good that Barry in the booth. Can't you go over
to areas? Just talking about in my headphones? All right, Craig,
we'll welcome in here. Barty, glad you made it.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
We're all good. It's okay.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
Well you ready to go.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Do it?
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Let's do it?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Then, first category give us three food mascots ready go
uh Jelly Green, Giant, Tony Tiger and Pietersburg dough boars.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Where are three good?
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Alright, Craig, Now in five seconds, three parts of an
NFL uniform ready to go.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Helmet yep, the helmet, shoulder pads man, ma'am, ma'am, And
for the wind three things you throw in the garbage.
Speaker 5 (08:07):
Ready go.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Paper cows, bad food and empty suitcanes, rock some soup.
Speaker 6 (08:18):
Well, Craig, you got the Southern East Pets pack. I
hope you got a dog or something that you love
over there in Mount Carmel.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
What if don't I know plenty of people do.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
He's just assuming you live alone because of the soup
can thing.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
I like my suit.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
I'm wining you, Craig. All right, my boy, you hang on,
jack can hook you up.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
All right?
Speaker 5 (08:48):
All right, tell me your news on the other side.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
On Monday morning, song from the Pride of East Texas
and be Robert Earl Keane.
Speaker 10 (08:56):
You know you know to be swerving.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
First thing Monday morning.
Speaker 12 (09:03):
M h.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Good morning, Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 6 (09:37):
Back to Big Show member Robert arl Keane and the
band driving It Squirming this Monday Morning.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
In it that's done by Robert Earl Kean his band lying.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
In the ben Shall.
Speaker 14 (09:50):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 10 (09:55):
Come on, Jackie, get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 15 (09:57):
Sometimes on my days build with and rid as I
traveled and left bad things.
Speaker 16 (10:09):
Ain't going my way because there's always someone swarming in
my life.
Speaker 5 (10:18):
You keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 15 (10:22):
And it's causing lots of Thinginger.
Speaker 10 (10:26):
I'm a honking on my horror. I'm shooting you the phone.
Speaker 16 (10:33):
Keep switching on my bride lines him. When you're swerving
all lives pie By, you're running someone off the ride.
The day jove way, I thought I never never.
Speaker 14 (10:58):
Another Holly else could I feed. But nowing you run
into me, I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 17 (11:12):
All tank up, No one's at the wooding. You keep
swimming in my life, just causing.
Speaker 10 (11:23):
Lots of bags. I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting
you the fine.
Speaker 16 (11:34):
I keep switching on my briding lights, but you're just
too dimpty. Now when you're swerving all lights, how By,
you're running someone off the ride.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Driving a big show.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Good morning Masha on the radio, it was the Monday Morning.
Speaker 5 (12:26):
Breakfast Theater Action. Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Today's episode The Patient.
Speaker 18 (12:36):
As our story opens, a barefoot man wearing a loose
hospital gown and dragging an IV stand slowly enters Tater
O'Malley's Irish Pub.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
In Dublin, Georgia. That's Dublin, Georgia.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Beautiful Georgia.
Speaker 19 (12:56):
Or my word, you.
Speaker 9 (12:57):
Part man, let me have your choice seat there.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Right neighborly, have you miss? It's nice to find somebody
with a little sympathy.
Speaker 9 (13:06):
Precious mother Mary, you wouldn't be coming from the emergency
word next door, now, would you?
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (13:11):
They I mean cooped up over for about a week, folking,
prodding me and running all sorts of tests, And about
a half hour ago some dang fool doctor finally came
in told me there was nothing they could do for me.
Speaker 9 (13:25):
Merciful sins, your part man, But that just sounds wowful.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
It was I said, I know something I can do
for me. Leave So I didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
I saw this place and I vered if I was
done for I might as well have would drink? May?
Speaker 9 (13:41):
Are you sure that's a good idea?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
It a skippy I do? In fact, I think it's
a real good idea. So bring me six shots of
jameson Rare, four shots of Pappy van Winkle, and a
pint aguinness.
Speaker 9 (13:54):
Oo, did you want to be a fan of h me?
He's standing between a day and man and he's final wishes.
I'll get started on the shore.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Right.
Speaker 18 (14:04):
The bartender pours the man's shonets then sets him down
in front of him one by one, then turns to
the guinness tap and fills his mug.
Speaker 9 (14:15):
Alrighty, now one kind of guinness and all my stars?
Have you already down all those ten shots?
Speaker 5 (14:22):
I have, Missy, With what I got, I'll shooting have lookie.
Speaker 9 (14:27):
Here, friend, I don't think Saint Peter would be denying
entrance to a poor soul because of his final wish.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You wouldn't say that if you knowed what I got.
Speaker 9 (14:37):
Tell me Tell me then, friend, what exactly is it
that you've got two dollars?
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Hanaba?
Speaker 5 (14:49):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Yes, mister Fazley, we've seen a bottle of jameson RABBI
for just not want.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Stuck up there.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Tune in again next time and we'll hear the crusty
old male nurse say, hey, big man, let me hold
a dollar.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Good morning, and you got the Big Show on already
have more chances for you to win coming up after
your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 10 (15:15):
Oh oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 14 (15:17):
I didn't see you.
Speaker 20 (15:19):
This is Professor Mulvin handed Day, head of hey ah oh,
ahead of Big Show Science and History Division and you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Benny on the Big Show.
Speaker 21 (15:35):
Yo.
Speaker 20 (15:36):
When I say there'll be history, I didn't mean to
apply a negative.
Speaker 19 (15:39):
I simply meant that they they Oh what did I mean?
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Good morning? It's a big showing the radio.
Speaker 6 (16:22):
Alright, today's one of those John boyn Billy album mondays
we getting that cuts off.
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Our rough cuts.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Album was backing old two when we was hunting down
and taking out the Taliban. As always, we were keeping
spirits high right here in the great United States of America.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Keidan, what's going on over there?
Speaker 10 (16:45):
Hit it.
Speaker 5 (16:47):
Three things, true believers. I am big al Qaida and
I am big al Jaziah.
Speaker 11 (16:51):
And went the co managers of Taliban Motors in Kabu,
and have we got to sell for you? As we
all know, during the current emergency, Mullah Omar has encouraged
us all to get out and spend some shekels to
get our nation's economy moving again.
Speaker 22 (17:04):
Taliman Motors is doing our part by declaring holy war
against high automobile prices.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Y y yea yea yea yeah, yea yay.
Speaker 11 (17:10):
Come on up this Saturday for the Mother of all
emergency inventory clearance events.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
We have almost seven.
Speaker 22 (17:17):
Make that almost six good clean pre all vehicles on
the lot right.
Speaker 11 (17:21):
Now, and they've all got to go to somebody at
some price.
Speaker 22 (17:24):
Nineteen eighty two chryst La Cortoba just one hundred and
seventy five thousand shekels.
Speaker 11 (17:28):
Nineteen sixty nine Road Rather Reddition Dodge Charger.
Speaker 22 (17:31):
Price to move now, Come on down for the lowest
price is ever on your next car.
Speaker 5 (17:35):
Or Dark you mean no, I mean Dark is coming.
Speaker 11 (17:43):
Plus meet the wacky wake up guy from Taliban Radio
Momar in the morning. He will be broadcasting live Saturday
from two to four pm. Plus will day last three
Peter Bargers.
Speaker 22 (17:53):
We will be here to the last customers served, or
until the Tomahawk missiles from the Invaders destroyed the show room.
Speaker 11 (17:58):
Taliban Motors on the Jihad by passing at the railroad treasting.
Speaker 22 (18:05):
Make that on did you hid bypasswad the railroad trestle used.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
To be nipty thick cloud of black smoke.
Speaker 22 (18:10):
Caliban Motor no shut, no shoes, no problem, shoesday only.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
Shot, Good morning, got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 6 (18:25):
We got tracks off of our album Rough Cuts and
Yeah married man featured on that album.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Hang on, we'll get that episode the second. First, you're
gonna give away a bull snot price back on John
Boyjepary here in minutes. Truck drivers keep America moving and
bulls not make sure they look good doing it. Looper
bulls not at drug stops across America and go to
Brownhox dot com. So click on the banner when you
hit the Big Show dot com. Alright, I ain't gonna
(18:52):
blaybard minutes right now, let's do it.
Speaker 10 (19:02):
Married man.
Speaker 21 (19:03):
Married man drives around in a mini van, god a
wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man.
Speaker 10 (19:16):
How's he feel?
Speaker 21 (19:17):
Listen, dude, this poor guy's really screwed, hanging on by
a thread cord of milk, loaf of bread.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Hey, there there goes the married man.
Speaker 12 (19:29):
Got a big gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap,
and he's just about hanging on this crime.
Speaker 21 (19:39):
Married man, married man, friendly neighborhood, married man.
Speaker 5 (19:44):
Life for him has nothing.
Speaker 21 (19:46):
Wife or let him do what they she says, it's
about timing groove up.
Speaker 5 (19:52):
Wherever there's a screw up, you'll.
Speaker 10 (19:55):
Find the married man.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
As our story opens, the office idiots gathered around the
coffee machine at the start of another grueling day at
Smith's Industries.
Speaker 10 (20:05):
And so the lone Ranger says, Panto, you idiot, I said,
go to town and bring back a passy.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
Morning guys.
Speaker 10 (20:14):
Morning Bernie A did you hear the one about the
Lord Ranger?
Speaker 9 (20:17):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Uh, sorry, Fred, I'm a little busy right now. College buddy,
Can I see you in my office for just a second?
Speaker 4 (20:22):
Sure?
Speaker 10 (20:22):
Excuse me, Fred?
Speaker 12 (20:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 23 (20:23):
Later?
Speaker 5 (20:25):
So, uh, what's up close the door? I've got some
big news. You and I have been invited to join
the NUBAPC.
Speaker 10 (20:33):
We have, but we're white guys.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
No, no, no.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
The naa PC.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
The National Association of Action Packed Crime Fighters, the most
influential superhero interest group in America, very elite membership Superman, Batman,
Captain America, Spider Man. So how did we get in?
I saw an ad in the newspaper last week. The
NBAPC is opening a new chapter and they're inviting all
local superheroes to apply.
Speaker 24 (20:59):
Man Besides us, there aren't any local superheroes unless you
count that little redheaded Wagers that works at Al Sports Connection.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
Exactly where's shoe win. How much does it cost? Two
hundred dollars?
Speaker 10 (21:10):
Two hundred dollars for what?
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Well, we get discount admission to the annual convention. There's
a quarterly newsletter, a member's only website. Oh and we
get a really cool window sticker that lets us park
our crime fighting vehicle and handicap spaces without being told.
Of course, we have to actually be investigating a crime.
Speaker 10 (21:26):
Yeah, but two hundred bucks.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Hey, there's two of us. That's only like one hundred bucks.
Apiece comes out to twenty seven cents a day.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
What do you say you win? Well, it would be
cool to park in a handicap space every once.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
In a while. Okay, the audition is tonight at eight o'clock.
I'll pick you up around seven thirty.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Okay, do I have to wear the suit?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
It's a superhero meeting. Of course you have to wear
the suit. Well, can I wear my regular clothes? And
changing the minivan on the way over?
Speaker 5 (21:51):
What the old lady in apartment next door looks at me?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Funny?
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Sometime, college buddy with great power comes great responsibility. That evening,
married man and college buddy arrived for the meeting had
a rundown warehouse on the CD side of town.
Speaker 11 (22:08):
This is it?
Speaker 10 (22:09):
What a dump?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Hey, a superhero group can exactly book the Magnolia room
at the Holiday Inn.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
Why not insurance? Huh, think about it.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I mean one of the X Men gets hammered, fires
a plasma bolt at some loudmouth at the bar.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Instant lawsuit. Yeah, good point. So which way do we go? Well, look,
there's a sign superhero meeting first door on the left.
Let's try that.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
So they have a big convention every year. Huh yeah,
this year it's in Los Angeles.
Speaker 10 (22:36):
Oh yeah, you think we'll get to meet teen queen?
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Who?
Speaker 10 (22:39):
Teen queen?
Speaker 24 (22:40):
Teenage superhero out in LA. She's a pop singer by day,
superhero by night? Killer bod where's his short little top?
Shows off for belly buttons?
Speaker 5 (22:49):
College buddy? Sometimes you are such a perm Welcome, married man,
weilcome to your doom. Great Caesar's goat. It's my arch
me divorced man. Yes, it's been a while.
Speaker 25 (23:03):
What have you been up too lately? Wait, let me
guess nothing. What a dusty old dump?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
What's a foul evildoer like you? Do I get a
meeting of a superhero group. It was a trap you
idiot a trap? Holy hoodwink, Holy hoodwink. Look, first you
call me an idiot, now you make fun of my
colorful ad libs. Do you want to be my partner
or not?
Speaker 4 (23:30):
Tylight?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
See you fools, I want you an undivided attention when
I destroy you now, then.
Speaker 10 (23:38):
Prepare to.
Speaker 5 (23:40):
H Could you excuse me for just a second? Hello, Hi, honey, bunny.
What's that?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
Pick up a couple of things at the quick mart
on the way home? Uh, listen, sweetie, I'm kind of
tied up right now. Can I call you right back?
Holy hoodwink? Indeed, married man and the clutches of his
odd enemy had on a school night, no less ten
n Next time when we'll hair college buddy, say.
Speaker 10 (24:05):
Married man, I told you I didn't want to wear
my outfit. My tights keep riding up and I think
I got prickly heat.
Speaker 5 (24:11):
And devost man say, well, you know I use gold bot.
Oh you shut out golf.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Mess on next tightening adventure, same married time, same married channel.
Speaker 5 (24:22):
There's a school Look you'll find the.
Speaker 21 (24:24):
Married mine.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
All ride off rough guts Teleman motors too will be
coming up at this top of the hour. About a word,
all right, well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Jump right
in here. Good luck googling, this says Randy said night yea, yeah,
problems here. You'll have to learn how to spell it. Okay,
(24:48):
So this is what Jime no sophieus I should have
read a head. Uh, Jim no sophis jymnosophist.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
There you go.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
This is what jimnosifists. Where there's to work? Good luck
any idea?
Speaker 9 (25:06):
I know that's an athletic supporter.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
I don't want to think about it.
Speaker 6 (25:12):
What y'all got one? Ain't under the Big Show? You
told free line. We played John Boydgepardy. Next, Good Morning,
(25:43):
It's super Big Joe.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
On the radio and get confused.
Speaker 6 (25:48):
Today's feature track from The Big Show. Bit Box I
r Agent Murray Corporate Mergers. We'd like to see church
for keyword mergers when you hit the Big Box.
Speaker 23 (25:59):
At the show dot com there right now, let's play
Yes live across America. It's John Boy Jeopardy and now
a man who once came to work wearing pajama bottoms,
a Daha T shirt, flip flops, and a cake he
borrowed from Rick Flare.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
It was picture day. Here's John boy a good memories.
Thank you all right.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
Let's say that Thomas out of Greenwood, South Carolina. Good morning, Thomas, Hey,
John Boy and game, Hey buddy, welcome. All right, well,
Randy says, good luck googling this. This is what gymnosifist
wears to work. John Boy, I'm going with button naked in.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
You say they wear nothing to work.
Speaker 10 (26:53):
Let's say.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Thomas, damn you spell check? All right, Thomas, way to go.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah, Actually they are philosophers that work in the nude.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
That is right. Philosophers, Yes, philosophers thinker. Yes, he looked
like he was nagga, did it? Thomas? Thomas might be
one many people know that. How are you doing? How
you doing? Thomas?
Speaker 15 (27:27):
Hey baby?
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Okay?
Speaker 6 (27:29):
Oh well, oh on Thomas, Jackie, get that bulls Nott
Prize BacT did you just want Buddyngratulations?
Speaker 21 (27:37):
Thank you very much, Toma Way.
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Way how many hours on top of your news twenty
minutes away, we got an entry into the diary of
Gary Busey.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
Oh day after.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export. It's late at night, you're
fast asleep, and a shut away figure is about to
break into your home, but you're protected.
Speaker 26 (28:47):
Yeah, it's the James Brown home security alone. The hat
is working along in the sleepy business designed by the
godfather of home protection himself. But James Brown alaw protects
you from Burglaw's vandals peeping tall and if you act
(29:12):
now will included no extra cost. The patterner James Brown
hotpants far along. So put the soul patrol on your keyhole.
With a James Brown home security system, you'll say.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
John Boy and dilly ladies and gentlemen. Mister James Brown.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Yeah that doesn't want to tell people, you know.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
Thank God, take out to be that easy eques. It's
all my little us badges and live in the living room.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
This morning radio done right, good morning.
Speaker 6 (30:21):
This will make show on the radio for you Monday,
March eighteenth, or off the John boydn Billy album rough
cuts at the top of the hour, when I met
and women of the US Militaris hunting down to Tyler
ban I'm backing old too, right, here's important.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
I boys around the world, you killed it? Oh right,
all right?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
That beausy.
Speaker 5 (30:48):
I come on, here we go. It's time for the
Diary of Gary Busey.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Dear diary. This is Gary.
Speaker 27 (31:01):
Obucy. At least that was I was calling myself. Over
the weekend, Crazy Frankie and I celebrated Saint Patrick's Day
like never before. Usually I saved myself for Sinko Demayo. Well,
this year I was sweet on this little Irish chikita
named the Lassie mckhaygis. I had my heart set on
(31:24):
sham rocking her world, but I didn't have her number
or her address. But I knew she was going to
be partying in the neighborhood. So the crazy One and
I went on a pub crawl in West Hollywood emphasis
on crawl.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Green bear, green beer, sticking in your green rear, feeling frisken,
give me whiskey, payon in the bushes. First stop on
the list was Little Wee Willie Whiskers, owned by a
buddy of mine Irish Jewish little person named Willie O'weintraub.
He was a stunt man for them Lord of the
(32:00):
Rings Pictures and was a stand in for Stuart Little.
He was selling half pints for a half buck and
had a bunch of the tables in the place. Pulled
back and Leprechaun wrastling set up in the middle. We
decided to take a gander while I was scoping the
room for my future ex Missus Musty. First match was
(32:24):
Dinky o Tripod squaring off against Shardy mixed kid marks.
It wasn't a fair fright from the get go. Shardi
kept grabbing his shelley and poking Dinky in the dinky
The old ref was about as useless as a condom
in a convent, so I had to step in. And
(32:46):
I had just enough logger in my tank to feel froggy,
so I jumped in the ring to lay down the law. Unfortunately,
Shardi was less than reasonable. The last thing I remember
was him using my pot of gold as a speed
I took that as a sign to move on. Come here,
(33:08):
little feller, gonna teach you a lesson. I'm the wrong
feller to be messing. Next thing, you know, I'm a
sopraner because a munchkin is wailing on my manner. Once
my voice come down back to normal, we walked a
couple of blocks over to Rosie o'wads, an Irish pub
for big girls. Sign in the window said happy Saint
(33:32):
Fatty's Day.
Speaker 27 (33:34):
When I burst in the door, I suddenly forgot about
Lassie Mick what's her nubbins? It was like I died
and gone to fair skinned, red haired, freckled cleavage heaven.
They was all out there on the floor doing Irish
jigs in that river dance, high stepping and I don't
know what all. It was a perfect time to unleash
the legendary beauty boogie. I was gyrating and toad tapping
(33:58):
and singing along with the music, and.
Speaker 10 (34:03):
We was a hit.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
We was riding the herd on a bevy of beefy
beauties from the Emerald Isle.
Speaker 10 (34:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 27 (34:12):
On the way off the door, I finally saw my
fair lady, Laslie mckaigis making out with Shardy mcskid marks
between shots of Glen Livid out of his curly toad shoe.
So to get even, I went back to Deadie Kennedy's
and hooked up with some walleyed Irish vampire was fair
tires in her ear lobes and a tattoo of a
(34:32):
naked Liam neeson Field dressing a clown.
Speaker 5 (34:39):
Well Diary, I got this ski doe.
Speaker 27 (34:44):
Crazy Frankie and I are going to sneak into Colin
Farrell's trailer and put exploding caps in his lucky strikes.
Speaker 5 (34:52):
Until next time. Diary x'es and o's gary.
Speaker 27 (34:58):
Obucye.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Good morning to make show us on the radio. Hang
over your local news weather sports.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
This was Royal.
Speaker 19 (35:10):
That is the King Vedo, slayer of the Visigals, destroyer
of the Mongol, and aggravator of the Ottomanivea. All listening
to my two royal jesers, those gap toothed barbarians, John
Boy and Billyard Old Big show A rise a loyal
(35:31):
of beef, A rise, Duke of Ellington, A rise, water
of ten, essence of marp.
Speaker 10 (35:40):
Look back, leave you.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Good morning.
Speaker 6 (36:15):
It's big showing the radio tracks all fine, John Boyneville's
Rough Cuts album. When we were chasing down the Taliban,
we were here bugs Bunny in them.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
You know, we always said that we treat our enemy
like bugs. Bunny used to treat Hitler in the Nazis
back in the day.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You know, you gotta do it like this.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Thank you for the inspiration.
Speaker 5 (36:41):
All right, here we go, green things, true believers.
Speaker 11 (36:47):
I'm Big Alkaia and i am Big Jazia, and we're
the co managers of Taliban Motors and Cabul and if
we had a sand for you looking for a good
clean use car for the little woman.
Speaker 22 (36:57):
But stopped that.
Speaker 5 (36:58):
You know, women are not allowed to drive cars.
Speaker 11 (37:01):
If you've been putting off that new Cara truck, now
is the time to move.
Speaker 22 (37:04):
It is our The boss has fled across the border
into Pakistan. They have all got to go sales. Event
we still have almost six, make that almost five go
clean preor vehicles on the lot right now, nineteen seventy four.
Speaker 5 (37:18):
For must tank two GT. Just four hundred eighty seven,
six hundred and ninety nine sheckles.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
And remember we thought the no Saturday from two to
four meat American imperialist sponsor Monger Manroe Fisher, he'll be
signing copies of his new book, Hails from Underneath the
Surface plus three feet.
Speaker 10 (37:33):
The Burgers, one of the last Caliban.
Speaker 22 (37:35):
Motors on the G hot Bypass had three heels road.
Make that on the G heart Bypass had two hills road.
Speaker 10 (37:42):
Alba motors, The Walking Man's Friend.
Speaker 5 (37:45):
No shirt, no shoes, no problem, y y yeah.
Speaker 6 (37:54):
Good morning, got a big zone. The radio the two
was hunt Down the Taliban. When this album Rough Cut
came out, we got the Crockstogger hunting down Taliban right here,
don't move, coming up.
Speaker 5 (38:06):
Just let me tell you right quick about our prize pack.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
A Southern East Pets pack is like you know the
dogs when you have anxiety issues, like during a thunderstorm,
Well you gotta try these bacon flavored pets CBD gummies
from Southern East Pets. Just click on the link at
the Big Show dot Com use code JBB get an
exclusive offer all right play for in minutes.
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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