April 28, 2025 • 47 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we pay tribute to our favorite super hero, Married Man, all morning long!.. - The Grumpy Old Man tells why he hates Prom Season.. - Marvin Webster wonders why car dealers are so hyped up.. - and Murray explains the benefits of hard times!…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning to make show us on the radio, hang
over your local news, weather, sports.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
This was Royal.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
That is the King Veto, slayer of the Visicals, destroyer of.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
The Mongol, and aggravator of the Ottoman Empact.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
All listening to my two royal jests, those gap toothed barbarians,
John Boy and Billy ad Old Big Show, A rise,
a loyd of beef, a rise Duke of Ellington, a rise,
water of ten, essence of marp, milk of.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Vcnisia, gotta doodle doo up and Adam, it is Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
But that's all right.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You're lucky enough to have the Big Show on the
radio waking you unless you're listening to us on the podcast,
and it's it could be anytime with the twenty four
hour day period.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
That we observe here on Earth. Good morning, thank.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
You when you got to the planet.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I tell you what, man, this show, this has been
the most well planned show we have had in years.
And Taylor, I know you were a gas when I
told you. You know, last week I said, hey man,
we need a married man Monday. And it turns out
I said, Taylor, look it's National super Hero Day and
of course married man has been our superhero blow these
(02:04):
many years.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
But then check this out.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yes, also we have our poet Laureate on the Tesla Trap. Yes,
today is National Great Poetry Reading Day.
Speaker 6 (02:18):
I can't I'm going I can't stand it.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So it's like, you know, I could have just you know,
lines in. I'm planned all this out over the weekend.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So old it's gonna be Superhero Day, both real and fictional.
Speaker 7 (02:32):
We gotta instead, you went with something more believable, National
Great Poetry Reading Day. So let's see how great it
is a little later this morning the aforementioned podcast if
you're not gonna be with us, and the next to
the last hour of the Big Show, you can hear
our poet laureate on the Tesla Trap at the John
(02:54):
Boy and Billy Late Risers podcast that tied together as well.
They're tie together right there.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I didn't know it.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I don't like you.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Okay, So there's two national days left. Let's see how
they tie in. National Brave Heart's Day. Well that's one
of my favorite movies, Brave Heart. Well, let's watch it later, okay,
all right? And this National Blueberry Pie Day.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Nope, doesn't fit at all.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I'd settle for a cobbler.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah, I love cobbler.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
No, no, I need a new pair of shoes. Okay, fun,
big big shows on the radio. We're gonna get to
U's gonna be good, laid down. Let me on the cobbler.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Oh hey, good morning, big shows on the radio. There's
gonna probbler.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Get our first prize back out one hundred and twenty
dollars worth of bullshot cleaning products made in the USA,
Fine bulls, nott and truck stops across America. Click on
that banner. We're so proud of our bulls not banner
hit at the Big Show dot Com. Here we go,
giving you three dates in history where we will get
our three categories for you to win the aforementioned prize package.
(04:13):
Nineteen twenty three, the ford Motor Company starts a partial
payment plan for car buyers. Couldn't Fordham when it's starting
in nineteen twenty three. Nineteen forty five, Italian dictator Benito
Mussolini was executed after he was shot. Mussolini and his
mistress were hung by their heels at a gas station.
(04:34):
You know the public could make fun of and abuse.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
The dictator.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Benito is quite a ladies man, says here, even though
he reportedly took a bath just once a week.
Speaker 8 (04:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
I was just over there, and they do not like him.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Oh, they do not like to bathe Mussolini.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Mussolini, Oh, the dictator. They still don't like him. The
way to research s. Wow, it's been a week over there.
Speaker 9 (05:04):
So everybody was pretty clean.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I smelled nothing, is that right? That's good?
Speaker 10 (05:09):
Right?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Well, this is the four five.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I smelt nothing, all right, So we learned some more
stuff about you, I mean about Italia.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Okay, where were we? Finally? Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Wait, the Supreme Court issued a decision to uphold an
Indiana law that required citizens to provide photo ID when voting.
It was hoped that this would guard against fraud. Oh eight,
all right, and then I don't know. I don't even
know where it is now they're fighting it and stuff
(05:41):
like that.
Speaker 6 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
No, it's so hard you need a photo ID to
take a dump, really strict.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I didn't plan that one either. I'm gonna be honest, alight, y'all.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
There you goers our categories one eight hundred big shows.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You told free luck come home.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
We'll play out birds next good morning, and it's a
(06:31):
big showing the radio rolling to you Monday A Bro
twenty eighth our feature track from The Big Show bit Box,
Our agent Murray on hard Times. He works hard times
at the Big Box at the Big Show, Dot.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Coming out, I got on their conde.
Speaker 11 (06:47):
You do start uppers. Let's play uppers. It's the game
that anyone can win. Shon, boy, bully, give the prizes
from the big prize be Let's go.
Speaker 12 (07:01):
Contested number one.
Speaker 11 (07:03):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 12 (07:08):
Ups. Have them hurry up and guess time till you
have the best time.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Till you have a big shot.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Let's say had a Bobby from Dear Martin's West Virginia.
Speaker 12 (07:24):
Shots.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Good morning, Bobby.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Hey, hey buddy, it is going fine. First thing, man,
you have first contestant this morning, were pulling for you
went one hundred and twenty dollars worth of Ball's not
you ready for it?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Already? All right? Five seconds? Three fords? Ready to go,
my fad.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Don't go right, maam. Now give us three things you
would do in a bath, or three things.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Don't forget that three things in a bath would be good.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, ready, got water, bubbles, bubbles alight, Bobby, now for
to win three things with your photo. Ready, God, there
(08:25):
you go.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
You work, Bobby one.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Twenty dollars worth of bullstop headed up de Barton for you.
Hey man, wait a minute, I got a question to
uh listen, let me address mister know it all here
in the room, Bobby.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
The the ID card? What's the new car?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
The real ID they're saying there's a big rush on
that you gotta get them or you won't be able
to do what word fly? Yes, domestically, like you're gonna
be able to fly without the real ID card.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Or enter any federal buildings.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Okay, what about the passport?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Can you use your passport in some cases?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So what about to fly?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
No, I don't think no, I'm gonna say no. You
looked at it.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Well, that's what I was wondering. That was a stickler.
Have you heard about that? The real I D Is
coming down to it, so you gotta have it to fly.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
But I think the passport is except.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Okay, well everybody has a passport, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's about Oh I know, yeah, So that's that's it
all right, That's why I was thinking. Probably the passport
work too.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
You'll do anything to get out.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
We got that right, all right, Well, Bobby, good work
on your and Boddy, you hang on, get your info
of Jackie and we'll.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Get it going. Hey first, well all right, body get
it out.
Speaker 8 (09:46):
Thank you boy boy.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
All right, hell National super Hero Day, I super married. Yeah,
we'll talk of our married man. My day, I figure new.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Thank
you for celebrating National super Hero Day with us.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Letsten get a good.
Speaker 11 (10:54):
My readmind, My readmind drives around in our many man, God,
my wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man.
Speaker 12 (11:08):
How's he feel?
Speaker 11 (11:09):
Listen, dude, this poor guy's really screwed hanging on. Buy
a thread, cord of milk, loaf of bread. Hay, There
there goes the married man. Got a big gas grill,
buys his clothes at the gap, and he's just about
hanging on for this grid married man, married man, friendly neighborhood,
(11:35):
married man life for him, has no single life or
let him do what they she says, it's about timing groove.
Wherever there's a screw of you'll find the married man.
Speaker 9 (11:49):
As our story opens, married man, the fellst defender of
traditional family values as an hot pisold. Two thousand flushes, all,
come on, two thousand flushes. It's gotta be here somewhere.
That's the last thing she said. Don't forget that. Two
thousand flushes.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Hey, married man, how's it hanging?
Speaker 9 (12:07):
Oh, how's what hanging?
Speaker 6 (12:09):
I mean, how's it going?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Oh hey, it's my old pal college buddy.
Speaker 13 (12:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Hey, we missed you in the county softball tournament last week.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
Man.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Oh yeah, well I was on a very important case.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
But what case.
Speaker 9 (12:21):
Well, actually the wife had robics that night. I kind
of had to watch the kids. You know, those women
can't live with them because they can be hard to
live with sometimes.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I see, marriage hasn't told your razor sharp wit.
Speaker 9 (12:35):
Oh no, hey, that was a little shot, wasn't it. Ah,
you can't fool me. Hey, beneath this tame, domesticated interior,
I'm still that hunk of burning love I was in college.
Oh yeah, I will prove it.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
What do you mean, Well, you see that little blond
work in the express lane.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
There's nobody in line. Walk up to her, see if
you can pick her up.
Speaker 9 (12:58):
Oh I couldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I don't mean really pick her up, just you know,
govern flirt with your a little bit.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
It'll be good for you.
Speaker 9 (13:05):
Come on, I don't know, I'm a little rusty.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Hey, I thought you were a hunk of burning love.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
I am.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah, right, you don't.
Speaker 9 (13:15):
You really don't think I can do it?
Speaker 11 (13:16):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Let's say I've got my dad.
Speaker 9 (13:18):
Well, stand back, mister skeptic. Observe the master in action.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Good afternoon, sir.
Speaker 9 (13:25):
How are you today married?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I'm happily married.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I've never cheated on my wife in twelve years of marriage.
Speaker 9 (13:31):
I've been absolutely faithful. I'm married.
Speaker 6 (13:33):
I tell you I'm married.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Boy, you are a little rusty.
Speaker 9 (13:40):
Well married man recover from his Freudi and faupa till
an end for the thrilling conclusion on our next episode,
Same Married Time, Same Married channels.
Speaker 12 (13:50):
The love You'll find the Married nine.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Good morning, here it is on the radio. Fe God,
just craps All right, action.
Speaker 14 (14:29):
Hello friends, your old pal Bertford here with another cornhold
chattering edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode
Mystery in the Morgue. As our story opens, a Morge
assistant is examining a freshly delivered corpse.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Thanks Sammy, I'll take it from here. Okay, let's see here,
Luke Lathan forty five years old cause of death, natural causes. Okay,
mister Lathan, let's get you in the cooler. I'll just
roll you over onto the tree. Hold on, what's this?
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Chief Chief?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Can you come here and look at this?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
It's better to be good.
Speaker 15 (15:07):
I'm watching my stories.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
We just got a fresh one in and I was
putting them on the tray. You know, see this?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
What am I supposed to be looking at?
Speaker 9 (15:15):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Look?
Speaker 5 (15:17):
The guy has a cork in his butt.
Speaker 15 (15:19):
There's a lot of weirdos out there. Kid, Make a
note of it and move on. I'm going back to
watch my stories.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Yeah, okay, I just can't imagine why someone would put
a cork in their butt. What's it hiding? What's it
holding in? And inquiring minds want to know? I'll just
pop it out.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
B double are you?
Speaker 12 (15:38):
And bear?
Speaker 4 (15:41):
B w doubl are you?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
And what in the world?
Speaker 5 (15:45):
Maybe it was just my imagination has to be only
one way to find out I've.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Got friends in low places.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Okay, that's not right, Chief Chief?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
What okay?
Speaker 5 (16:01):
My curiosity got the best of me, all right, and
I took the cork out of his butt, So.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
You're some kind of weirdo? Is that what you're trying
to tell me?
Speaker 13 (16:08):
Just listen to this, say good looking, what you got cooking?
How's about cooking something up with me?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
See?
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Every single song is a country tune.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
Isn't that amazing?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Not really?
Speaker 9 (16:26):
Not really?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Are you serious?
Speaker 5 (16:28):
This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 15 (16:30):
Come on, kid, any old butthole can sing country music,
son of um?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
And how y'all we hope you enjoyed John Boy and
Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 14 (16:53):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the cy old
butt cork collector say, hey, big man, let.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Me hold a dollar. You morning, every bouty. You got
a big show on the radio, right, big showing radio?
Speaker 12 (17:06):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Ah, that's like any news letter sports.
Speaker 6 (17:10):
It's just Spanky from the Yellow Rose.
Speaker 15 (17:12):
You're listening to the greatest morning show and recorded history
of broadcast radio, John Boy and Billy Big Show.
Speaker 6 (17:20):
How big is it? Bigger than my head? And that's big.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
There?
Speaker 6 (17:27):
Yeah, o, b I read it and I pay that
tabby a seat, dead.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Beat, good morning, make shows on the radio. A happy Monday.
(18:08):
Every body got the pride of bandar attentions without Monday
Morning too. Robert Urlcane, that's done by Robert url Keane
is being lying a bit your studio.
Speaker 16 (18:21):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 16 (18:28):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right.
Speaker 17 (18:35):
Els.
Speaker 12 (18:35):
I'm traveled down left surbud.
Speaker 16 (18:40):
Things ain't going my way because there's always someone.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Swirming in my life.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
To keep swirming in my line.
Speaker 9 (18:53):
And it's causing lots of thinger.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 16 (19:00):
I'm shooting you the fin.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Keep switching on my bride lights just too dem.
Speaker 16 (19:12):
When you're swerving all lives Pie Way, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 9 (19:21):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never.
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Never could love another. How else could I feed?
Speaker 16 (19:36):
But now when you run into me, I can't believe
I could not see her.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I'll take up the ones at the waiting to keep
swimming in my life, just causing lots of bab I'm
a cussing out your man.
Speaker 9 (20:01):
I'm shooting in the fire.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I keep switching on the bride lines.
Speaker 9 (20:09):
But you jest to Dampton.
Speaker 16 (20:13):
When you're swerving all lives by, you're on a summon
off the road.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Time of a big show.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Good Morning, got the Big Show on the radio, National
Superhero Day episodes of our superhero married Man. Hang on
for the drinking Buddy wins episode first day. You about
the prize pack you can win because we're gonna play
John Boy Jeopardy till we get a winner one of
them Happy Herd prize packs. Happy Herd makes top quality attractives,
minerals and feet for deer, bear and hogs. If you're
(20:54):
not using Happy Herd, better hope your neighbors aren't. Just
click on the Happy Herd banner the Big Show dot
coment or coach JBB get turn percent off the checkout.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Hang gonna play more than minutes. Let's do it, my
read man.
Speaker 11 (21:11):
My ried man drives around in a minivan, has no
single life. I'll let him do what a chee says,
it's about time he grew. There's a screw up you'll
find the married man.
Speaker 9 (21:28):
As our story opens, married man and his Powell College
buddy are on the way home in the money van
after pulling a little overtime at work.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Hey, married man, why do we put on our superhero
costumes when all we're doing is driving home?
Speaker 9 (21:41):
Because danger could be just around any corner, old chum.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yeah right, when's the last time we ran into a
super villain?
Speaker 9 (21:48):
Anyway? Well, let's see you got it ridden down right?
Here was a year ago next week, which means we're
due for some excitement any minute now. See Hello, alright,
honey bunny, Yes, we're all done. Yes, we're on the
way home.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
What's that?
Speaker 9 (22:03):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
What is it?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
Mana stat seven? Now?
Speaker 14 (22:08):
What is that?
Speaker 9 (22:08):
Exactly? I'm sorry I asked. Okay, I'll stop off at
the Food Genie and pick it up. Okay, hanh bye.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Man, you are right? Danger? What's just around the corner?
Let me guess? Tampons?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Two?
Speaker 9 (22:24):
Hello?
Speaker 4 (22:25):
What's this?
Speaker 9 (22:27):
Drinking? Buddy?
Speaker 4 (22:28):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (22:29):
What's that?
Speaker 11 (22:30):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (22:30):
Won't start?
Speaker 17 (22:31):
Huh?
Speaker 9 (22:31):
Well, I guess we could swing by there and give
you a ride home. One question. Don't you work at
a used car lot? We'll see you. Think there'd be
something there that you could drive home?
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (22:45):
If I was a manager, I wouldn't want you driving
the inventory around town either. Okay, we'll be there in
about five minutes.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Oh, man, ain't this daved long enough already?
Speaker 11 (22:55):
Hey?
Speaker 9 (22:55):
You know when we're at the Food genieing maybe we
can pick up some cheese to go with that wine.
Speaker 17 (23:00):
Ha ha.
Speaker 13 (23:03):
Mat.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
It's later our heroes pick up drinking Buddy at Smiley's
nearly new automall. I appreciate the ride, Rick guy, we
say they are drippy drawers.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Let furt, you're an idiot.
Speaker 9 (23:14):
Hey, I see y'all got you super deads on. Good
thing I got mine with me. Are we fixing to
have us adventure or something?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, we're stopping at the food Genie to pick up
some kind of embarrassing personal product for married man's wife.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
That'll work.
Speaker 9 (23:28):
Hey, big guy, can we make one more quick stop
along the way? And where would that be? Rowdy Ricks
raw bar. It's right on you. Wait.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Oh no, we're not gonna take you out drinking.
Speaker 9 (23:39):
No, no, no, I left my wallet in there last night.
Rick's got it in the lost and found box. I
need to run by and pick it up. Oh man,
Now now, college buddy, We've got to support our fellow
team member in his hour of need. Unbelievable moments later,
our heroes awrive at Rowdy Ricks.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Okay, guys, no cakes in the says, why I am
big guy, since you came in here last night.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
With one on drinking.
Speaker 9 (24:05):
Buddy. I've told you before, no costumes when you're off duty. Hey,
it's a bar ain't it? I thought that man I
was on duty. Hey, Ki Malalad is a big guy,
but there ain't no money in it.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Gee, there's a shocker.
Speaker 9 (24:20):
Hello, Hi, honey, bunny, what's that? No, the music isn't
usually this loud at the Iffy Food Genie. We're not
actually at the Food Genie right now. We're at Rowdy
Rick's Raw Bar. Well drinking Buddy called us on the
way home. He needed to ride. He left his wallet
here last night, and he asked if we'd stop off
(24:40):
so he could pick it up. No, I'm not kidding. Yes,
I realized how ridiculous that sounds. But if I was
going to make something up, don't you think I'd do
a little better than that. No, I'm not in the
habit of making things up. No, I suppose we didn't
really need to come inside with it. Look, honey, we're
(25:01):
leaving right now. I'll see you very soon.
Speaker 12 (25:03):
On Ronnie.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Okay, Why oh, you're the world famous married man.
Speaker 9 (25:08):
Huh, every day of my life.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Good evening.
Speaker 18 (25:11):
How's everybody doing out there? I'm need a night Shade
from Power one oh seven point two. Time for the
grand prize, drawing in the past Blue Living Power one
oh seven point two Who.
Speaker 10 (25:22):
Wants to Be a Movie Star Contest. One lucky listener
is going to get a trip to Hollywood, including airfare, hotel,
and an audition for a featured role in a real
live motion Picay.
Speaker 9 (25:33):
Big guy, I'm entered in that.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Oh come on, Ledford, you're not gonna win.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Just get your water. Let's go.
Speaker 10 (25:39):
If you were qualified on the Monkey in the Morning
Show this week, your name is gonna be in the
big hopper here.
Speaker 9 (25:45):
Let's give her us find Hey, that's me, by guy,
I was calling number twelve. I'm in there, and here
we go. The winner is Renee lafort Hey.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
That's me, by God, I won.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
What your name's Ronnie Ludford?
Speaker 9 (26:00):
Have you ever seen my handwriting?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Bigger?
Speaker 9 (26:02):
Hey, Nina, Nina?
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Over here is man. This is ridiculous. He's gonna go
up there and embarrass himself.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
You know, I'm not sure if that's actually possible.
Speaker 15 (26:10):
At this point, I still think having him on our
superhero team is a big mistake.
Speaker 9 (26:14):
Now, now we need him. We've almost got enough members
to get that super team group health plan from Northwestern.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I don't know about you, but I'd pay more not
to have to hang around him.
Speaker 9 (26:23):
Easy there, old chum. I still think a guy like
Ronnie might just be a diamond in the rock.
Speaker 10 (26:29):
Okay, everybody, here's our winner. Okay, Ronnie, you and three
of your friends are headed for Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
And he thought, uh who off.
Speaker 9 (26:39):
The bars the future movie stark f Jen and ger.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Gener Oh yeah, he's destined for greatness.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
Hey, Biger, you and man dripper George is headed for Hollywood.
Oh he wants us to go with him.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Oh yeah, I like this idea.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
Hey, Niner, you want to be a movie star? Toos,
we think, thanks, but I'm gonna pass you. Lick it up,
losing suit, your out? Hey what your marma looked like?
Married mine and friends Hollywood movie stars? Holy this has
disaster written all over it, don't damn? I saw next
(27:16):
chapter of this spinkta titening adventure, Same married time, same
married channel.
Speaker 12 (27:22):
There's a school you'll find the married mine.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Oh he's certainly a winnery good married man. Another episode
in about an hour. Right now, let's play John Boy Jeverley.
Let's jump right in here. There are around two hundred
and fifty different performers currently under contract to portray this
well known corporate mascot, and every performer must agree to
(27:49):
some very strict rules, like they cannot hug children, they
cannot promote any food products, and they can never ever
reveal their out of costume identity.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Who is astro neud What y'all got one? Ain't hundred
big shows?
Speaker 4 (28:15):
You told?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Free line across America. We go away and get a winner.
We play John Boy Jepity next.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Good Monday Morning. There's a Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
When our feature track from the Big Show bid Box,
our agent.
Speaker 12 (28:53):
Mert on the hard Time.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
There's were key.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Words hard times when you hit the Big Box the
Big Show dot com click out on their contest.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Bun you we need the website we can't get dude.
We'll call you specific game you'd.
Speaker 12 (29:09):
Like to play.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
We can make that happen too. It's about wrapping it
up there.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Ready, LA's way, yeses live across America.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's ton Boy, Jim.
Speaker 7 (29:24):
And now a man who finally gave up on getting
Jackie to understand why Chick fil A has the Eat
More Chicken Cows as their mascot.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Now they're moving on to the Musinix booger.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
As I hate a Chip out of Martinsville, Virginia. Good morning, Chip,
How you doing John Boy?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Well?
Speaker 12 (29:47):
I was doing good?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Randy whom my breakfast with a musinext booker?
Speaker 8 (29:53):
Right?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Well, yeah, all right, Jim doing good, buddy, welcome in here.
How's everything with you?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
So far? Doing good?
Speaker 8 (29:59):
Doing good?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
The first time I wrote it down for Chip there,
I'll say.
Speaker 8 (30:04):
Here you go, thank you, John Boy.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Say man, Well, you got first shot at John Boy Jeopardy.
So let's let's review the question here Chip. They're around
two hundred and fifty different performers currently under contract to
portray this well known corporate mascot. The list of rules
every performer got to agree. Cannot hug children, cannot promote
(30:26):
any food products. They can never ever reveal their out
of costume identity. Does that enough for you to know
who we're talking about?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Hip?
Speaker 8 (30:37):
I'm gonna take a guess with a guy. I'm gonna try.
How about Ronald McDonald.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Well, let's say is it Ronald McDonald's that some other clown?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
They got some stuff here? Man, Okay, not allowed to
hug kids? You probably see that. You know, you know,
Ronald looking pervy. Only Ronald can only do handshakes, fist bumps,
and gentle pats on the back at most. Uh. They
can't promote any I can't promote any food products, which
(31:19):
is odd since it's McDonald's.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
It's probably related to the FTC cracking down on marketing towards.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Kids, which focus cannot reveal the true identity we covered.
They can't uh cannot say that hamburgers are made from
cows or that any of McDonald's food products come from animals.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Don't do that because they're traumatizing kids.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Hamburgers grow on trees.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You see, Ronald hamburg a cow?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Here, Old Jackie, get them Chick fil a cow. See
if they're busy. Okay, stick to the script. They can
only answer the kinds of questions that are in character.
You know, Randy, you well, you were a mascot in
your early career.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
Yeah, I was a chicken for radio station.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Radio says, yeah, watch Chicken.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
And at one time I was Scooby Doo at Caro
Win's theme parks.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Uh huh were the kids meanor to you as Scooby
Doo or the BC watch chicken.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Absolutely worse at Scooby Doo.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
That's why they would pull your tail and kick you
in the nads, all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Now as the chicken, I will tell you women were
very attractive to the chicken. You're welcome, Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
That's how I met my wife. Good she wound up
with a peck her head.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Well, Chip, good work, buddy, your prize back, head up
to Martinsville for you.
Speaker 8 (32:58):
I will take it. Can I give a quick out out?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Please do, I'll do it.
Speaker 8 (33:03):
My wife Jeanie, oldest daughter Jessica, and my baby girl,
third one in the family, graduating Virginia Tech next month.
We could well there for Metallica's gonna be a big
week for it, so I can't wait to celeb.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Joy, that's lots of love to you and your family. Chip,
you got room for a chicken?
Speaker 8 (33:24):
Oh yeah, yeah, plenty.
Speaker 14 (33:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (33:26):
We live in the country up here with got room.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Just bring your own bucket.
Speaker 8 (33:31):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Why did by the many hour and.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Top of your news time capsule for a Monday morning
life right on the other side and a grumpy old
man a minute. This is the award winning joh Boy
(34:20):
and Billie Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (34:32):
Nobody covers weather like the Weather Channel, the satellite maps,
the live reports, and everyone's favorite, the local Forecast.
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Speaker 9 (34:45):
Now, Montavani Records presents The Weather Channel the original soundtrack album,
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(35:09):
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And many more.
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Two big albums, thirty six Weather Channel Favorites, The perfect
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Order today, John William Dilly, Yeah, I've never seen you
so happy?
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Does this have something to do with the naked Lady?
Speaker 9 (35:59):
You are?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Good morning radio, dumb right, good Monday morning. Make Shall's
(36:31):
on the radio?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Here we go. It is time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
A flimmity fluid I'm old and I hate prom.
Speaker 14 (36:47):
Back in my day, we didn't have no fancy corsage, pinning,
rented limousine riding, stupid dj jabberin slowed dancing but grabbing.
Speaker 6 (36:57):
High school foolishness. What I was a boy, prom was
a thing of.
Speaker 14 (37:01):
Myth and legend, meant for folks who had all their
teeth and only two eyes, and whose parents weren't first cousins.
The only time we had something to dance about was
when your pet badger Willie didn't give you rabies, or
by some miracle nobody Peede and your rain barrel, or
then it was okay to butcher the hogs because they
(37:23):
aren't blood relatives, like last season when Uncle Elma got
licked up and got frisky with the sow. It's prom time,
it's prom time. It's mooch off Dad and mob time. Oh,
shut your pukes about your piply face, social leech. Everyone
knows that prombing nothing but a bunch of puberty poppin' hormone,
(37:47):
hot footing two point five grade point average horn dogs,
all gussied up and rended clothes from the strip. Mall
had fancy eating on Mommy and Daddy's nickel at the
Red La Well lad, the Freakin' da don't forget your
glass slipper, Cinderella.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
Then after the feedbag's been licked clean.
Speaker 14 (38:11):
It's off to the main event, the warehouse behind the
hardware store.
Speaker 6 (38:18):
All decorated up to look like a.
Speaker 14 (38:20):
Grand ballroom if that ballroom had been in some half
assed carpenter's wet dream.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
And the band plays.
Speaker 14 (38:28):
Songs no one can recognize because they e't had time
to practice on account of they all been in county
lock up for being perverts. And in between songs you
don't recognize. Your feast on unimaginable delicacies like stale store
brand bagel bites and expired vegan meat balls, and you
(38:50):
keep from hurland just long enough to drink some raisin
wine the chemistry whiz made in the back of his toilet,
And before you know it, in the granddaddy of all ironies,
your date gets pregnant on a pallet of Saltpeter.
Speaker 6 (39:06):
Who didly ding dang? Do look at me?
Speaker 14 (39:08):
I have a spoiled brat from yuppies spawn, eating out
of the trash and dancing the cover tunes from Peeping
Tom and the Butt sniffers. I can't wait to name
my kids snap on tools, and we like it.
Speaker 6 (39:22):
We loved it.
Speaker 14 (39:25):
In my day, there went no such a thing as
a prom, but we did have a big shin dig
for all the gradiats, and it was called that you
better enjoy tonight because tomorrow you're gonna wake up and
find out the real world sucks dance. Someone's pappy would
let us have it in the barn, and we were
(39:46):
too lazy and stupid to clean it first, so all
night long we were ankle deep in ransom animal waste,
which wasn't the worst thing in the world because it
kept you from smelling the food, which was usually poorly
clean chitlings and spoiled cheese that was left over from
the county fair the year before. We didn't have no
high Waiian punch to drink, just the spittoon from the
(40:10):
slaughterhouse with a bunch of straws in it. We couldn't
afford a fancy suit, so we wore the one our
grand pappy was buried in. But the funeral parlor was cheap,
so it wasn't the whole suit, just the front pot,
so we spent the whole night with our pimply butts
hanging out and yelling to close the door because I
(40:30):
feel a breeze. The band was just your uncle toty
tooton on a moonshine jug while his fat wife kept
times slapping.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
A belly like a big toothless walrus.
Speaker 14 (40:44):
And we danced all night like hillbilly luna tics until
our bare feet bled and they got infected from all
the crap on the floor, and the smell drove the
hogs crazy, and they chased us down and ate our
legs off, and you had to crawl home on your
belly like a craw daddy, all the time talking about
how much you loved the band.
Speaker 6 (41:05):
Wappity wahoo, willie wee. Look at me.
Speaker 14 (41:07):
I'm a shoeless, genetic freak, wearing half a dead man's suit,
slapping my first cousin on the court hole and sipping
stranger's stock through a used straw, dancing the poop foot
shuffle to the belly bongo. I kicked my own stupid ass,
but the hogs eat my legs. Oh happy day, and
we like it.
Speaker 12 (41:28):
We loved it.
Speaker 6 (41:31):
Uh giggle spit, I hate problem.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
You got the big show on the radio, more chances
for you to win coming up after your news, wether
and sports.
Speaker 19 (41:43):
You come on me today because you know, no Sicilian
can refuse a request on the day of his daughter's wedding.
I shall grant your requests. Someday I may ask a
favor of you, maybe a haircut. Maybe I'll ask you
to lay down your life for me. Maybe I'll just
ask you to listen to John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. Would you rather wake up with a
(42:05):
horse's head? Are these two horses.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
As good Morning? It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
You get when John Boy's wonder wil Thing number one
hundred and forty The whole truth about spring turkey hunting
according to Cause Finally.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Cause Striggling from Massio go hardback cover pull of my
favorite books. As we celebrate turkey season and hear the
spring across the South, Thanks you a turk.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Bag, nou Superhero Money featuring married Man and Minutes says
a big show runs on.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Good Morning?
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Got a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Hang on back to married Man the second first tell
you about what you can win if you can beat
the blonde In minutes, we got a hat a t shirt,
a tumbler, and a twenty five dollars gas card from
LOWD Tigers that don't fill up your motorcycle. LOWD Tigers
and motorcycle lawyers who ride with Lord Tigers. You never
ride alon. Just go to Lowtigers dot com. Click on
the banner the Big Show dot com. Getting an accident,
(43:45):
call low Tigers before you do anything else.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
All hang on. We'll play for it the minutes.
Speaker 17 (43:51):
That's not.
Speaker 11 (44:00):
Married man drives around in a minivan god a wife
and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man. How's he feel? Listen, dude,
this four guys really screwed hanging on? Buy a bread
cord of milk, loaf of bread.
Speaker 8 (44:22):
Hay.
Speaker 12 (44:22):
There there goes the married man.
Speaker 11 (44:27):
Got a big gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap,
and he's just about hanging on for this card. Married man,
married man, friendly neighborhood, married man. Life for him has
no sing wife or let him do what they she says.
(44:47):
It's about timing groove up. Wherever there's a screw up.
Speaker 12 (44:52):
You'll find the married man.
Speaker 9 (44:54):
Last time married man encountered as all Powell College buddy
who suggested a hero have a little fo by flirting
with the attractive young lady at the grocery store check out.
Kata our Hell rolls to the occasion in his patented
married man style. Who married?
Speaker 6 (45:10):
I'm happily married. I've never cheated on my wife in
my entire life. I don't intend to start now. I'm married,
I tell you married.
Speaker 9 (45:19):
Excuse me, I just remembered a couple of things I
forgot to get.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Hell, well, very smooth. You were right, You've still got it.
Speaker 9 (45:28):
Hey, i may be a costume crusader, but I'm still
a human being.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
She tempted me with her feminine wilds. All she said
was paper or plastic.
Speaker 9 (45:37):
Yeah, well, with these women today, who knows what that
might Mirry.
Speaker 17 (45:40):
Not, come on, admit it, marry man, you've lost your touch.
Your wife runs your life. Man, it happens. It doesn't
mean your life is over. It just means it's not
that interesting anymore.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
That's not true.
Speaker 9 (45:53):
I run my own life. I don't let women push
me around.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Yeah right, I'll prove it.
Speaker 9 (45:58):
I'll go right back over there to register right now
and check out, and then I'm gonna go back home.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
And wat's the ball game. Yeah, that's it. I'm a man,
I spell m a child and n.
Speaker 9 (46:12):
Watch me work, mister skeptic.
Speaker 10 (46:16):
Hi find everything you needed?
Speaker 9 (46:17):
Oh yeah, sorry about that pathetic outburst a minute ago. Hm.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Did you see how much these were?
Speaker 15 (46:24):
They don't have a price.
Speaker 9 (46:26):
No, but I'll be glad to walk over and check
for you. Oh that's all right, I can check for you.
Speaker 12 (46:30):
Oh, no problem.
Speaker 9 (46:31):
I can be there and back in a flash.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Really No, No, that's all.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
The way in the back of the store.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I'll get somebody to run back there for you.
Speaker 9 (46:39):
Christ check twelve pack campac flush, super maxy oppads.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
With wings for the guy in the cave right here.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Sir, anything wrong?
Speaker 9 (46:49):
No, I was just watching what passes for my life
flash before my eyes. Well, married man be able to
survive the greatest humiliation of his costume care. Yeah, and
that thing with the ballgame was he just blowing smoke?
There too, answers In our next sphincter titaning adventure, Same
married time, Same married channel.
Speaker 12 (47:11):
There's a school you'll find them married nine.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Has a guy come a married man with the guys
at the office at the bottom of the hour. Right now,
let's play redld Tiger's Prize pagon beat the Blonde One.
Ain't hundred big show you told Free Line. We'll get
the contestant and play next
Good morning to make show us on the radio, hang
over your local news, weather, sports.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
This was Royal.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
That is the King Veto, slayer of the Visicals, destroyer of.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
The Mongol, and aggravator of the Ottoman Empact.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
All listening to my two royal jests, those gap toothed barbarians,
John Boy and Billy ad Old Big Show, A rise,
a loyd of beef, a rise Duke of Ellington, a rise,
water of ten, essence of marp, milk of.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Vcnisia, gotta doodle doo up and Adam, it is Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
But that's all right.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You're lucky enough to have the Big Show on the
radio waking you unless you're listening to us on the podcast,
and it's it could be anytime with the twenty four
hour day period.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
That we observe here on Earth. Good morning, thank.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
You when you got to the planet.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I tell you what, man, this show, this has been
the most well planned show we have had in years.
And Taylor, I know you were a gas when I
told you. You know, last week I said, hey man,
we need a married man Monday. And it turns out
I said, Taylor, look it's National super Hero Day and
of course married man has been our superhero blow these
(02:04):
many years.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
I can't believe it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
But then check this out.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yes, also we have our poet Laureate on the Tesla Trap. Yes,
today is National Great Poetry Reading Day.
Speaker 6 (02:18):
I can't I'm going I can't stand it.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
So it's like, you know, I could have just you know,
lines in. I'm planned all this out over the weekend.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
So old it's gonna be Superhero Day, both real and fictional.
Speaker 7 (02:32):
We gotta instead, you went with something more believable, National
Great Poetry Reading Day. So let's see how great it
is a little later this morning the aforementioned podcast if
you're not gonna be with us, and the next to
the last hour of the Big Show, you can hear
our poet laureate on the Tesla Trap at the John
(02:54):
Boy and Billy Late Risers podcast that tied together as well.
They're tie together right there.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I didn't know it.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
I don't like you.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Okay, So there's two national days left. Let's see how
they tie in. National Brave Heart's Day. Well that's one
of my favorite movies, Brave Heart. Well, let's watch it later, okay,
all right? And this National Blueberry Pie Day.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Nope, doesn't fit at all.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I'd settle for a cobbler.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
Yeah, I love cobbler.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
No, no, I need a new pair of shoes. Okay, fun,
big big shows on the radio. We're gonna get to
U's gonna be good, laid down. Let me on the cobbler.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Oh hey, good morning, big shows on the radio. There's
gonna probbler.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Get our first prize back out one hundred and twenty
dollars worth of bullshot cleaning products made in the USA,
Fine bulls, nott and truck stops across America. Click on
that banner. We're so proud of our bulls not banner
hit at the Big Show dot Com. Here we go,
giving you three dates in history where we will get
our three categories for you to win the aforementioned prize package.
(04:13):
Nineteen twenty three, the ford Motor Company starts a partial
payment plan for car buyers. Couldn't Fordham when it's starting
in nineteen twenty three. Nineteen forty five, Italian dictator Benito
Mussolini was executed after he was shot. Mussolini and his
mistress were hung by their heels at a gas station.
(04:34):
You know the public could make fun of and abuse.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
The dictator.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Benito is quite a ladies man, says here, even though
he reportedly took a bath just once a week.
Speaker 8 (04:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
I was just over there, and they do not like him.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Oh, they do not like to bathe Mussolini.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Mussolini, Oh, the dictator. They still don't like him. The
way to research s. Wow, it's been a week over there.
Speaker 9 (05:04):
So everybody was pretty clean.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I smelled nothing, is that right? That's good?
Speaker 10 (05:09):
Right?
Speaker 4 (05:09):
Well, this is the four five.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I smelt nothing, all right, So we learned some more
stuff about you, I mean about Italia.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Okay, where were we? Finally? Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Wait, the Supreme Court issued a decision to uphold an
Indiana law that required citizens to provide photo ID when voting.
It was hoped that this would guard against fraud. Oh eight,
all right, and then I don't know. I don't even
know where it is now they're fighting it and stuff
(05:41):
like that.
Speaker 6 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
No, it's so hard you need a photo ID to
take a dump, really strict.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I didn't plan that one either. I'm gonna be honest, alight, y'all.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
There you goers our categories one eight hundred big shows.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
You told free luck come home.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
We'll play out birds next good morning, and it's a
(06:31):
big showing the radio rolling to you Monday A Bro
twenty eighth our feature track from The Big Show bit Box,
Our agent Murray on hard Times. He works hard times
at the Big Box at the Big Show, Dot.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Coming out, I got on their conde.
Speaker 11 (06:47):
You do start uppers. Let's play uppers. It's the game
that anyone can win. Shon, boy, bully, give the prizes
from the big prize be Let's go.
Speaker 12 (07:01):
Contested number one.
Speaker 11 (07:03):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 12 (07:08):
Ups. Have them hurry up and guess time till you
have the best time.
Speaker 6 (07:12):
Till you have a big shot.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Let's say had a Bobby from Dear Martin's West Virginia.
Speaker 12 (07:24):
Shots.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Good morning, Bobby.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Hey, hey buddy, it is going fine. First thing, man,
you have first contestant this morning, were pulling for you
went one hundred and twenty dollars worth of Ball's not
you ready for it?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Already? All right? Five seconds? Three fords? Ready to go,
my fad.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Don't go right, maam. Now give us three things you
would do in a bath, or three things.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Don't forget that three things in a bath would be good.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, ready, got water, bubbles, bubbles alight, Bobby, now for
to win three things with your photo. Ready, God, there
(08:25):
you go.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
You work, Bobby one.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Twenty dollars worth of bullstop headed up de Barton for you.
Hey man, wait a minute, I got a question to
uh listen, let me address mister know it all here
in the room, Bobby.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
The the ID card? What's the new car?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
The real ID they're saying there's a big rush on
that you gotta get them or you won't be able
to do what word fly? Yes, domestically, like you're gonna
be able to fly without the real ID card.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Or enter any federal buildings.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Okay, what about the passport?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Can you use your passport in some cases?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
So what about to fly?
Speaker 4 (09:05):
No, I don't think no, I'm gonna say no. You
looked at it.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Well, that's what I was wondering. That was a stickler.
Have you heard about that? The real I D Is
coming down to it, so you gotta have it to fly.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
But I think the passport is except.
Speaker 5 (09:19):
Okay, well everybody has a passport, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's about Oh I know, yeah, So that's that's it
all right, That's why I was thinking. Probably the passport
work too.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
You'll do anything to get out.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
We got that right, all right, Well, Bobby, good work
on your and Boddy, you hang on, get your info
of Jackie and we'll.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Get it going. Hey first, well all right, body get
it out.
Speaker 8 (09:46):
Thank you boy boy.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
All right, hell National super Hero Day, I super married. Yeah,
we'll talk of our married man. My day, I figure new.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Thank
you for celebrating National super Hero Day with us.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Letsten get a good.
Speaker 11 (10:54):
My readmind, My readmind drives around in our many man, God,
my wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man.
Speaker 12 (11:08):
How's he feel?
Speaker 11 (11:09):
Listen, dude, this poor guy's really screwed hanging on. Buy
a thread, cord of milk, loaf of bread. Hay, There
there goes the married man. Got a big gas grill,
buys his clothes at the gap, and he's just about
hanging on for this grid married man, married man, friendly neighborhood,
(11:35):
married man life for him, has no single life or
let him do what they she says, it's about timing groove.
Wherever there's a screw of you'll find the married man.
Speaker 9 (11:49):
As our story opens, married man, the fellst defender of
traditional family values as an hot pisold. Two thousand flushes, all,
come on, two thousand flushes. It's gotta be here somewhere.
That's the last thing she said. Don't forget that. Two
thousand flushes.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Hey, married man, how's it hanging?
Speaker 9 (12:07):
Oh, how's what hanging?
Speaker 6 (12:09):
I mean, how's it going?
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Oh hey, it's my old pal college buddy.
Speaker 13 (12:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
Hey, we missed you in the county softball tournament last week.
Speaker 8 (12:16):
Man.
Speaker 9 (12:16):
Oh yeah, well I was on a very important case.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
But what case.
Speaker 9 (12:21):
Well, actually the wife had robics that night. I kind
of had to watch the kids. You know, those women
can't live with them because they can be hard to
live with sometimes.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I see, marriage hasn't told your razor sharp wit.
Speaker 9 (12:35):
Oh no, hey, that was a little shot, wasn't it. Ah,
you can't fool me. Hey, beneath this tame, domesticated interior,
I'm still that hunk of burning love I was in college.
Oh yeah, I will prove it.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
What do you mean, Well, you see that little blond
work in the express lane.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
There's nobody in line. Walk up to her, see if
you can pick her up.
Speaker 9 (12:58):
Oh I couldn't do that.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
I don't mean really pick her up, just you know,
govern flirt with your a little bit.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
It'll be good for you.
Speaker 9 (13:05):
Come on, I don't know, I'm a little rusty.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Hey, I thought you were a hunk of burning love.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
I am.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah, right, you don't.
Speaker 9 (13:15):
You really don't think I can do it?
Speaker 11 (13:16):
Do you?
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Let's say I've got my dad.
Speaker 9 (13:18):
Well, stand back, mister skeptic. Observe the master in action.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Good afternoon, sir.
Speaker 9 (13:25):
How are you today married?
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I'm happily married.
Speaker 6 (13:28):
I've never cheated on my wife in twelve years of marriage.
Speaker 9 (13:31):
I've been absolutely faithful. I'm married.
Speaker 6 (13:33):
I tell you I'm married.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Boy, you are a little rusty.
Speaker 9 (13:40):
Well married man recover from his Freudi and faupa till
an end for the thrilling conclusion on our next episode,
Same Married Time, Same Married channels.
Speaker 12 (13:50):
The love You'll find the Married nine.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Good morning, here it is on the radio. Fe God,
just craps All right, action.
Speaker 14 (14:29):
Hello friends, your old pal Bertford here with another cornhold
chattering edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode
Mystery in the Morgue. As our story opens, a Morge
assistant is examining a freshly delivered corpse.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
Thanks Sammy, I'll take it from here. Okay, let's see here,
Luke Lathan forty five years old cause of death, natural causes. Okay,
mister Lathan, let's get you in the cooler. I'll just
roll you over onto the tree. Hold on, what's this?
Speaker 4 (15:03):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Chief Chief?
Speaker 5 (15:05):
Can you come here and look at this?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
It's better to be good.
Speaker 15 (15:07):
I'm watching my stories.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
We just got a fresh one in and I was
putting them on the tray. You know, see this?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
What am I supposed to be looking at?
Speaker 9 (15:15):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Look?
Speaker 5 (15:17):
The guy has a cork in his butt.
Speaker 15 (15:19):
There's a lot of weirdos out there. Kid, Make a
note of it and move on. I'm going back to
watch my stories.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Yeah, okay, I just can't imagine why someone would put
a cork in their butt. What's it hiding? What's it
holding in? And inquiring minds want to know? I'll just
pop it out.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
B double are you?
Speaker 12 (15:38):
And bear?
Speaker 4 (15:41):
B w doubl are you?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
And what in the world?
Speaker 5 (15:45):
Maybe it was just my imagination has to be only
one way to find out I've.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
Got friends in low places.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Okay, that's not right, Chief Chief?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
What okay?
Speaker 5 (16:01):
My curiosity got the best of me, all right, and
I took the cork out of his butt, So.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
You're some kind of weirdo? Is that what you're trying
to tell me?
Speaker 13 (16:08):
Just listen to this, say good looking, what you got cooking?
How's about cooking something up with me?
Speaker 4 (16:20):
See?
Speaker 5 (16:21):
Every single song is a country tune.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
Isn't that amazing?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Not really?
Speaker 9 (16:26):
Not really?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Are you serious?
Speaker 5 (16:28):
This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen.
Speaker 15 (16:30):
Come on, kid, any old butthole can sing country music,
son of um?
Speaker 2 (16:40):
And how y'all we hope you enjoyed John Boy and
Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 14 (16:53):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the cy old
butt cork collector say, hey, big man, let.
Speaker 6 (16:58):
Me hold a dollar. You morning, every bouty. You got
a big show on the radio, right, big showing radio?
Speaker 12 (17:06):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Ah, that's like any news letter sports.
Speaker 6 (17:10):
It's just Spanky from the Yellow Rose.
Speaker 15 (17:12):
You're listening to the greatest morning show and recorded history
of broadcast radio, John Boy and Billy Big Show.
Speaker 6 (17:20):
How big is it? Bigger than my head? And that's big.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
There?
Speaker 6 (17:27):
Yeah, o, b I read it and I pay that
tabby a seat, dead.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Beat, good morning, make shows on the radio. A happy Monday.
(18:08):
Every body got the pride of bandar attentions without Monday
Morning too. Robert Urlcane, that's done by Robert url Keane
is being lying a bit your studio.
Speaker 16 (18:21):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 16 (18:28):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right.
Speaker 17 (18:35):
Els.
Speaker 12 (18:35):
I'm traveled down left surbud.
Speaker 16 (18:40):
Things ain't going my way because there's always someone.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
Swirming in my life.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
To keep swirming in my line.
Speaker 9 (18:53):
And it's causing lots of thinger.
Speaker 4 (18:57):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 16 (19:00):
I'm shooting you the fin.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Keep switching on my bride lights just too dem.
Speaker 16 (19:12):
When you're swerving all lives Pie Way, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 9 (19:21):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never.
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Never could love another. How else could I feed?
Speaker 16 (19:36):
But now when you run into me, I can't believe
I could not see her.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I'll take up the ones at the waiting to keep
swimming in my life, just causing lots of bab I'm
a cussing out your man.
Speaker 9 (20:01):
I'm shooting in the fire.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I keep switching on the bride lines.
Speaker 9 (20:09):
But you jest to Dampton.
Speaker 16 (20:13):
When you're swerving all lives by, you're on a summon
off the road.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Time of a big show.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Good Morning, got the Big Show on the radio, National
Superhero Day episodes of our superhero married Man. Hang on
for the drinking Buddy wins episode first day. You about
the prize pack you can win because we're gonna play
John Boy Jeopardy till we get a winner one of
them Happy Herd prize packs. Happy Herd makes top quality attractives,
minerals and feet for deer, bear and hogs. If you're
(20:54):
not using Happy Herd, better hope your neighbors aren't. Just
click on the Happy Herd banner the Big Show dot
coment or coach JBB get turn percent off the checkout.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Hang gonna play more than minutes. Let's do it, my
read man.
Speaker 11 (21:11):
My ried man drives around in a minivan, has no
single life. I'll let him do what a chee says,
it's about time he grew. There's a screw up you'll
find the married man.
Speaker 9 (21:28):
As our story opens, married man and his Powell College
buddy are on the way home in the money van
after pulling a little overtime at work.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Hey, married man, why do we put on our superhero
costumes when all we're doing is driving home?
Speaker 9 (21:41):
Because danger could be just around any corner, old chum.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Yeah right, when's the last time we ran into a
super villain?
Speaker 9 (21:48):
Anyway? Well, let's see you got it ridden down right?
Here was a year ago next week, which means we're
due for some excitement any minute now. See Hello, alright,
honey bunny, Yes, we're all done. Yes, we're on the
way home.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
What's that?
Speaker 9 (22:03):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
What is it?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
Mana stat seven? Now?
Speaker 14 (22:08):
What is that?
Speaker 9 (22:08):
Exactly? I'm sorry I asked. Okay, I'll stop off at
the Food Genie and pick it up. Okay, hanh bye.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Man, you are right? Danger? What's just around the corner?
Let me guess? Tampons?
Speaker 3 (22:23):
Two?
Speaker 9 (22:24):
Hello?
Speaker 4 (22:25):
What's this?
Speaker 9 (22:27):
Drinking? Buddy?
Speaker 4 (22:28):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (22:29):
What's that?
Speaker 11 (22:30):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (22:30):
Won't start?
Speaker 17 (22:31):
Huh?
Speaker 9 (22:31):
Well, I guess we could swing by there and give
you a ride home. One question. Don't you work at
a used car lot? We'll see you. Think there'd be
something there that you could drive home?
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (22:45):
If I was a manager, I wouldn't want you driving
the inventory around town either. Okay, we'll be there in
about five minutes.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Oh, man, ain't this daved long enough already?
Speaker 11 (22:55):
Hey?
Speaker 9 (22:55):
You know when we're at the Food genieing maybe we
can pick up some cheese to go with that wine.
Speaker 17 (23:00):
Ha ha.
Speaker 13 (23:03):
Mat.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
It's later our heroes pick up drinking Buddy at Smiley's
nearly new automall. I appreciate the ride, Rick guy, we
say they are drippy drawers.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Let furt, you're an idiot.
Speaker 9 (23:14):
Hey, I see y'all got you super deads on. Good
thing I got mine with me. Are we fixing to
have us adventure or something?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, we're stopping at the food Genie to pick up
some kind of embarrassing personal product for married man's wife.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
That'll work.
Speaker 9 (23:28):
Hey, big guy, can we make one more quick stop
along the way? And where would that be? Rowdy Ricks
raw bar. It's right on you. Wait.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Oh no, we're not gonna take you out drinking.
Speaker 9 (23:39):
No, no, no, I left my wallet in there last night.
Rick's got it in the lost and found box. I
need to run by and pick it up. Oh man,
Now now, college buddy, We've got to support our fellow
team member in his hour of need. Unbelievable moments later,
our heroes awrive at Rowdy Ricks.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Okay, guys, no cakes in the says, why I am
big guy, since you came in here last night.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
With one on drinking.
Speaker 9 (24:05):
Buddy. I've told you before, no costumes when you're off duty. Hey,
it's a bar ain't it? I thought that man I
was on duty. Hey, Ki Malalad is a big guy,
but there ain't no money in it.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Gee, there's a shocker.
Speaker 9 (24:20):
Hello, Hi, honey, bunny, what's that? No, the music isn't
usually this loud at the Iffy Food Genie. We're not
actually at the Food Genie right now. We're at Rowdy
Rick's Raw Bar. Well drinking Buddy called us on the
way home. He needed to ride. He left his wallet
here last night, and he asked if we'd stop off
(24:40):
so he could pick it up. No, I'm not kidding. Yes,
I realized how ridiculous that sounds. But if I was
going to make something up, don't you think I'd do
a little better than that. No, I'm not in the
habit of making things up. No, I suppose we didn't
really need to come inside with it. Look, honey, we're
(25:01):
leaving right now. I'll see you very soon.
Speaker 12 (25:03):
On Ronnie.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Okay, Why oh, you're the world famous married man.
Speaker 9 (25:08):
Huh, every day of my life.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Good evening.
Speaker 18 (25:11):
How's everybody doing out there? I'm need a night Shade
from Power one oh seven point two. Time for the
grand prize, drawing in the past Blue Living Power one
oh seven point two Who.
Speaker 10 (25:22):
Wants to Be a Movie Star Contest. One lucky listener
is going to get a trip to Hollywood, including airfare, hotel,
and an audition for a featured role in a real
live motion Picay.
Speaker 9 (25:33):
Big guy, I'm entered in that.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Oh come on, Ledford, you're not gonna win.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
Just get your water. Let's go.
Speaker 10 (25:39):
If you were qualified on the Monkey in the Morning
Show this week, your name is gonna be in the
big hopper here.
Speaker 9 (25:45):
Let's give her us find Hey, that's me, by guy,
I was calling number twelve. I'm in there, and here
we go. The winner is Renee lafort Hey.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
That's me, by God, I won.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
What your name's Ronnie Ludford?
Speaker 9 (26:00):
Have you ever seen my handwriting?
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Bigger?
Speaker 9 (26:02):
Hey, Nina, Nina?
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Over here is man. This is ridiculous. He's gonna go
up there and embarrass himself.
Speaker 9 (26:08):
You know, I'm not sure if that's actually possible.
Speaker 15 (26:10):
At this point, I still think having him on our
superhero team is a big mistake.
Speaker 9 (26:14):
Now, now we need him. We've almost got enough members
to get that super team group health plan from Northwestern.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
I don't know about you, but I'd pay more not
to have to hang around him.
Speaker 9 (26:23):
Easy there, old chum. I still think a guy like
Ronnie might just be a diamond in the rock.
Speaker 10 (26:29):
Okay, everybody, here's our winner. Okay, Ronnie, you and three
of your friends are headed for Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
And he thought, uh who off.
Speaker 9 (26:39):
The bars the future movie stark f Jen and ger.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
Gener Oh yeah, he's destined for greatness.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
Hey, Biger, you and man dripper George is headed for Hollywood.
Oh he wants us to go with him.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Oh yeah, I like this idea.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
Hey, Niner, you want to be a movie star? Toos,
we think, thanks, but I'm gonna pass you. Lick it up,
losing suit, your out? Hey what your marma looked like?
Married mine and friends Hollywood movie stars? Holy this has
disaster written all over it, don't damn? I saw next
(27:16):
chapter of this spinkta titening adventure, Same married time, same
married channel.
Speaker 12 (27:22):
There's a school you'll find the married mine.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Oh he's certainly a winnery good married man. Another episode
in about an hour. Right now, let's play John Boy Jeverley.
Let's jump right in here. There are around two hundred
and fifty different performers currently under contract to portray this
well known corporate mascot, and every performer must agree to
(27:49):
some very strict rules, like they cannot hug children, they
cannot promote any food products, and they can never ever
reveal their out of costume identity.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Who is astro neud What y'all got one? Ain't hundred
big shows?
Speaker 4 (28:15):
You told?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Free line across America. We go away and get a winner.
We play John Boy Jepity next.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Good Monday Morning. There's a Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
When our feature track from the Big Show bid Box,
our agent.
Speaker 12 (28:53):
Mert on the hard Time.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
There's were key.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Words hard times when you hit the Big Box the
Big Show dot com click out on their contest.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
Bun you we need the website we can't get dude.
We'll call you specific game you'd.
Speaker 12 (29:09):
Like to play.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
We can make that happen too. It's about wrapping it
up there.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Ready, LA's way, yeses live across America.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
It's ton Boy, Jim.
Speaker 7 (29:24):
And now a man who finally gave up on getting
Jackie to understand why Chick fil A has the Eat
More Chicken Cows as their mascot.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
Now they're moving on to the Musinix booger.
Speaker 6 (29:37):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
As I hate a Chip out of Martinsville, Virginia. Good morning, Chip,
How you doing John Boy?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Well?
Speaker 12 (29:47):
I was doing good?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Randy whom my breakfast with a musinext booker?
Speaker 8 (29:53):
Right?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Well, yeah, all right, Jim doing good, buddy, welcome in here.
How's everything with you?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
So far? Doing good?
Speaker 8 (29:59):
Doing good?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
The first time I wrote it down for Chip there,
I'll say.
Speaker 8 (30:04):
Here you go, thank you, John Boy.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Say man, Well, you got first shot at John Boy Jeopardy.
So let's let's review the question here Chip. They're around
two hundred and fifty different performers currently under contract to
portray this well known corporate mascot. The list of rules
every performer got to agree. Cannot hug children, cannot promote
(30:26):
any food products. They can never ever reveal their out
of costume identity. Does that enough for you to know
who we're talking about?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
Hip?
Speaker 8 (30:37):
I'm gonna take a guess with a guy. I'm gonna try.
How about Ronald McDonald.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Well, let's say is it Ronald McDonald's that some other clown?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
They got some stuff here? Man, Okay, not allowed to
hug kids? You probably see that. You know, you know,
Ronald looking pervy. Only Ronald can only do handshakes, fist bumps,
and gentle pats on the back at most. Uh. They
can't promote any I can't promote any food products, which
(31:19):
is odd since it's McDonald's.
Speaker 4 (31:21):
It's probably related to the FTC cracking down on marketing towards.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Kids, which focus cannot reveal the true identity we covered.
They can't uh cannot say that hamburgers are made from
cows or that any of McDonald's food products come from animals.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Don't do that because they're traumatizing kids.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
Hamburgers grow on trees.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You see, Ronald hamburg a cow?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Here, Old Jackie, get them Chick fil a cow. See
if they're busy. Okay, stick to the script. They can
only answer the kinds of questions that are in character.
You know, Randy, you well, you were a mascot in
your early career.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
Yeah, I was a chicken for radio station.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Radio says, yeah, watch Chicken.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
And at one time I was Scooby Doo at Caro
Win's theme parks.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Uh huh were the kids meanor to you as Scooby
Doo or the BC watch chicken.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Absolutely worse at Scooby Doo.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
That's why they would pull your tail and kick you
in the nads, all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
Now as the chicken, I will tell you women were
very attractive to the chicken. You're welcome, Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
That's how I met my wife. Good she wound up
with a peck her head.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Well, Chip, good work, buddy, your prize back, head up
to Martinsville for you.
Speaker 8 (32:58):
I will take it. Can I give a quick out out?
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Please do, I'll do it.
Speaker 8 (33:03):
My wife Jeanie, oldest daughter Jessica, and my baby girl,
third one in the family, graduating Virginia Tech next month.
We could well there for Metallica's gonna be a big
week for it, so I can't wait to celeb.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Joy, that's lots of love to you and your family. Chip,
you got room for a chicken?
Speaker 8 (33:24):
Oh yeah, yeah, plenty.
Speaker 14 (33:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (33:26):
We live in the country up here with got room.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Just bring your own bucket.
Speaker 8 (33:31):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Why did by the many hour and.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Top of your news time capsule for a Monday morning
life right on the other side and a grumpy old
man a minute. This is the award winning joh Boy
(34:20):
and Billie Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (34:32):
Nobody covers weather like the Weather Channel, the satellite maps,
the live reports, and everyone's favorite, the local Forecast.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
Music.
Speaker 9 (34:45):
Now, Montavani Records presents The Weather Channel the original soundtrack album,
thirty two all time Weather Channel favorites, including but wait
also get and seventeen other Weather Channel favorites. Get that
(35:09):
Great Weather Channel feeling anytime with the Weather Channel The
original soundtrack Order now, and We'll send you Volume two
featuring the Unforgettable, plus.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
And many more.
Speaker 9 (35:29):
Two big albums, thirty six Weather Channel Favorites, The perfect
edition to your music library. Two cassettes nineteen ninety five,
two CDs twenty one ninety five, two eight tracks six
fifteen The Weather Channel The original soundtrack Order now. Radic
Cock customers called Tell three one one hundred and five
to fivey five Schmaltz The Other Channel The original soundtrack
(35:50):
Order today, John William Dilly, Yeah, I've never seen you
so happy?
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Does this have something to do with the naked Lady?
Speaker 9 (35:59):
You are?
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Good morning radio, dumb right, good Monday morning. Make Shall's
(36:31):
on the radio?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Here we go. It is time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
A flimmity fluid I'm old and I hate prom.
Speaker 14 (36:47):
Back in my day, we didn't have no fancy corsage, pinning,
rented limousine riding, stupid dj jabberin slowed dancing but grabbing.
Speaker 6 (36:57):
High school foolishness. What I was a boy, prom was
a thing of.
Speaker 14 (37:01):
Myth and legend, meant for folks who had all their
teeth and only two eyes, and whose parents weren't first cousins.
The only time we had something to dance about was
when your pet badger Willie didn't give you rabies, or
by some miracle nobody Peede and your rain barrel, or
then it was okay to butcher the hogs because they
(37:23):
aren't blood relatives, like last season when Uncle Elma got
licked up and got frisky with the sow. It's prom time,
it's prom time. It's mooch off Dad and mob time. Oh,
shut your pukes about your piply face, social leech. Everyone
knows that prombing nothing but a bunch of puberty poppin' hormone,
(37:47):
hot footing two point five grade point average horn dogs,
all gussied up and rended clothes from the strip. Mall
had fancy eating on Mommy and Daddy's nickel at the
Red La Well lad, the Freakin' da don't forget your
glass slipper, Cinderella.
Speaker 6 (38:09):
Then after the feedbag's been licked clean.
Speaker 14 (38:11):
It's off to the main event, the warehouse behind the
hardware store.
Speaker 6 (38:18):
All decorated up to look like a.
Speaker 14 (38:20):
Grand ballroom if that ballroom had been in some half
assed carpenter's wet dream.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
And the band plays.
Speaker 14 (38:28):
Songs no one can recognize because they e't had time
to practice on account of they all been in county
lock up for being perverts. And in between songs you
don't recognize. Your feast on unimaginable delicacies like stale store
brand bagel bites and expired vegan meat balls, and you
(38:50):
keep from hurland just long enough to drink some raisin
wine the chemistry whiz made in the back of his toilet,
And before you know it, in the granddaddy of all ironies,
your date gets pregnant on a pallet of Saltpeter.
Speaker 6 (39:06):
Who didly ding dang? Do look at me?
Speaker 14 (39:08):
I have a spoiled brat from yuppies spawn, eating out
of the trash and dancing the cover tunes from Peeping
Tom and the Butt sniffers. I can't wait to name
my kids snap on tools, and we like it.
Speaker 6 (39:22):
We loved it.
Speaker 14 (39:25):
In my day, there went no such a thing as
a prom, but we did have a big shin dig
for all the gradiats, and it was called that you
better enjoy tonight because tomorrow you're gonna wake up and
find out the real world sucks dance. Someone's pappy would
let us have it in the barn, and we were
(39:46):
too lazy and stupid to clean it first, so all
night long we were ankle deep in ransom animal waste,
which wasn't the worst thing in the world because it
kept you from smelling the food, which was usually poorly
clean chitlings and spoiled cheese that was left over from
the county fair the year before. We didn't have no
high Waiian punch to drink, just the spittoon from the
(40:10):
slaughterhouse with a bunch of straws in it. We couldn't
afford a fancy suit, so we wore the one our
grand pappy was buried in. But the funeral parlor was cheap,
so it wasn't the whole suit, just the front pot,
so we spent the whole night with our pimply butts
hanging out and yelling to close the door because I
(40:30):
feel a breeze. The band was just your uncle toty
tooton on a moonshine jug while his fat wife kept
times slapping.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
A belly like a big toothless walrus.
Speaker 14 (40:44):
And we danced all night like hillbilly luna tics until
our bare feet bled and they got infected from all
the crap on the floor, and the smell drove the
hogs crazy, and they chased us down and ate our
legs off, and you had to crawl home on your
belly like a craw daddy, all the time talking about
how much you loved the band.
Speaker 6 (41:05):
Wappity wahoo, willie wee. Look at me.
Speaker 14 (41:07):
I'm a shoeless, genetic freak, wearing half a dead man's suit,
slapping my first cousin on the court hole and sipping
stranger's stock through a used straw, dancing the poop foot
shuffle to the belly bongo. I kicked my own stupid ass,
but the hogs eat my legs. Oh happy day, and
we like it.
Speaker 12 (41:28):
We loved it.
Speaker 6 (41:31):
Uh giggle spit, I hate problem.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
You got the big show on the radio, more chances
for you to win coming up after your news, wether
and sports.
Speaker 19 (41:43):
You come on me today because you know, no Sicilian
can refuse a request on the day of his daughter's wedding.
I shall grant your requests. Someday I may ask a
favor of you, maybe a haircut. Maybe I'll ask you
to lay down your life for me. Maybe I'll just
ask you to listen to John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. Would you rather wake up with a
(42:05):
horse's head? Are these two horses.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
As good Morning? It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (42:44):
You get when John Boy's wonder wil Thing number one
hundred and forty The whole truth about spring turkey hunting
according to Cause Finally.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Cause Striggling from Massio go hardback cover pull of my
favorite books. As we celebrate turkey season and hear the
spring across the South, Thanks you a turk.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Bag, nou Superhero Money featuring married Man and Minutes says
a big show runs on.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Good Morning?
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Got a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Hang on back to married Man the second first tell
you about what you can win if you can beat
the blonde In minutes, we got a hat a t shirt,
a tumbler, and a twenty five dollars gas card from
LOWD Tigers that don't fill up your motorcycle. LOWD Tigers
and motorcycle lawyers who ride with Lord Tigers. You never
ride alon. Just go to Lowtigers dot com. Click on
the banner the Big Show dot com. Getting an accident,
(43:45):
call low Tigers before you do anything else.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
All hang on. We'll play for it the minutes.
Speaker 17 (43:51):
That's not.
Speaker 11 (44:00):
Married man drives around in a minivan god a wife
and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man. How's he feel? Listen, dude,
this four guys really screwed hanging on? Buy a bread
cord of milk, loaf of bread.
Speaker 8 (44:22):
Hay.
Speaker 12 (44:22):
There there goes the married man.
Speaker 11 (44:27):
Got a big gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap,
and he's just about hanging on for this card. Married man,
married man, friendly neighborhood, married man. Life for him has
no sing wife or let him do what they she says.
(44:47):
It's about timing groove up. Wherever there's a screw up.
Speaker 12 (44:52):
You'll find the married man.
Speaker 9 (44:54):
Last time married man encountered as all Powell College buddy
who suggested a hero have a little fo by flirting
with the attractive young lady at the grocery store check out.
Kata our Hell rolls to the occasion in his patented
married man style. Who married?
Speaker 6 (45:10):
I'm happily married. I've never cheated on my wife in
my entire life. I don't intend to start now. I'm married,
I tell you married.
Speaker 9 (45:19):
Excuse me, I just remembered a couple of things I
forgot to get.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
Hell, well, very smooth. You were right, You've still got it.
Speaker 9 (45:28):
Hey, i may be a costume crusader, but I'm still
a human being.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
She tempted me with her feminine wilds. All she said
was paper or plastic.
Speaker 9 (45:37):
Yeah, well, with these women today, who knows what that
might Mirry.
Speaker 17 (45:40):
Not, come on, admit it, marry man, you've lost your touch.
Your wife runs your life. Man, it happens. It doesn't
mean your life is over. It just means it's not
that interesting anymore.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
That's not true.
Speaker 9 (45:53):
I run my own life. I don't let women push
me around.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Yeah right, I'll prove it.
Speaker 9 (45:58):
I'll go right back over there to register right now
and check out, and then I'm gonna go back home.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
And wat's the ball game. Yeah, that's it. I'm a man,
I spell m a child and n.
Speaker 9 (46:12):
Watch me work, mister skeptic.
Speaker 10 (46:16):
Hi find everything you needed?
Speaker 9 (46:17):
Oh yeah, sorry about that pathetic outburst a minute ago. Hm.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Did you see how much these were?
Speaker 15 (46:24):
They don't have a price.
Speaker 9 (46:26):
No, but I'll be glad to walk over and check
for you. Oh that's all right, I can check for you.
Speaker 12 (46:30):
Oh, no problem.
Speaker 9 (46:31):
I can be there and back in a flash.
Speaker 2 (46:33):
Really No, No, that's all.
Speaker 4 (46:35):
The way in the back of the store.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
I'll get somebody to run back there for you.
Speaker 9 (46:39):
Christ check twelve pack campac flush, super maxy oppads.
Speaker 5 (46:43):
With wings for the guy in the cave right here.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Sir, anything wrong?
Speaker 9 (46:49):
No, I was just watching what passes for my life
flash before my eyes. Well, married man be able to
survive the greatest humiliation of his costume care. Yeah, and
that thing with the ballgame was he just blowing smoke?
There too, answers In our next sphincter titaning adventure, Same
married time, Same married channel.
Speaker 12 (47:11):
There's a school you'll find them married nine.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Has a guy come a married man with the guys
at the office at the bottom of the hour. Right now,
let's play redld Tiger's Prize pagon beat the Blonde One.
Ain't hundred big show you told Free Line. We'll get
the contestant and play next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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