September 8, 2025 • 42 mins
Monday (pt 2 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we celebrate the return of the football season with some of our favorite football themed bits - like Ricky Tidwell’s Mama - the Backyard Bowl and Andy Griffith’s “What It Was Was Football”.. - Mr. Rhubarb gives us an in depth look at the differences between California and Wyoming.. - Terry Hanson pops out of a gopher hole and tells us about the time he pulled off a P.R. coup with a former Iranian hostage.. - The folks at One Star Steakhouse have a new ad campaign.. - and Carl and Melinda invite everyone to their new Country Day Spa…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Stand by for the classic Andy Griffin here on our
football Monday. Tell you what you can win if you
can beat the blonde in minutes, And so we go.
Lord Tiger's Prize by cool Swig, got hat t shirt, tumbler,
even the twenty five dollars gas card from Lord Tiger's motorcycle.
Lawyers who ride with Lord Tigers you never ride along
for two decades representing injured riders. Click on the banner
(00:26):
find out all about them when they hit the Big
Show dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
All right, let's do this.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
It was back last October, I believe it was. We
is are gonna hold a tent service off at this
college town. And we got there about dinner time on Saturday,
and different ones of us thought that we ought to
get us a mouthful to eat before that we set
up the tent. And so we got off of the
truck and followed this little bunch of people through this
(00:54):
small little bitty patch of woods there, and we come
up on a big sign it says get something to
eat here, And I went up and got me two
hot dogs and a big orange drink. And before that
I could take iremouthful of that food.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
This whole raft.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Of people come up around me and got me to
where I couldn't eat nothing up like, and I dropped.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
My big orange drink.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I did well.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Friends, they come in to move, and they want so
much that I could do but move well.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Well.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
We come in to go through all kinds of doors
and gates, and I don't know what all. And I
looked up over one of them and it says North Gate.
And we kept on going through there, and pretty soon
we come up on a young boy and he says,
ticket please, And I says, friend, I don't.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Have a ticket.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I don't even know where it is that I'm going.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I did well.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
He says, come out as quick as you can, and
I says, I'll do it. I'll turn right around the
first chance to get.
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Well.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
We kept on a moving through there, and pretty soon
everybody got where it was that there was a going,
because they parted and I could see pretty good. I could,
and what I seen was this whole raft of people
a setting on these two banks and looking at one
another across this pretty little green cow pasture.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, they was.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And somebody had tucked and drove white lines all over
it and drove posts in it, and I.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Don't know what all.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And I looked down there and I seen five or
six convicts are running up and down and a blowing
whistles they was. And then I looked down there and
I seen these pretty girls wearing these little bitty sharp
dresses and a dancing around. And so I sat down
and thought i'd see what it was that was going
to happen. I did, and about the time I got
(02:54):
set down good, I looked down there and I seen
thirty or forty men come out of one end of
a great big outhouse down there they did, and everybody
where I was a sitting got up and hollered. And
about that time thirty or forty come running out of
(03:15):
the other end of that outhouse, and the other bank full.
They got up and hollered. And I asked this fellow
that was setting beside of me. I says, friend, what
is it that they're hollering for? Well, he wopped me
on the back and he says, buddy, have a drunk. Well,
I says, I believe I will have another big orange.
(03:40):
And I got it and sat back down. And when
I got down there again, I seen that them men
had got in, two little bitty bunches down there, they
had railed close together, and they voted, they did, They
voted and elected one man a peace, and them two
men come out in the middle of that cow pasture
(04:02):
and shuck hands like they hadn't seen one another in
a long time. And then a convict come over to
where there was a standing and he took out a quarter,
and they come insto odd Man right back.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
They did.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Well.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
After a while, I seen what it.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Was that there's odd Man in fault. It was that
both bunches full of them men wanted this funny looking
little punkin to play with. They did, and I know, friends,
that they couldn't eat it because they kicked it the
whole evening.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
And it never busted.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
But tough anyhow, What I was telling was that both
bunches full wanted that thing, and one bunch got it,
and it made the other bunch just as mad as
they could be. And friends, I seen that evening the
awfulest fight that I have ever seen in my life.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I did.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
They would run at one another and kick one another,
and throw one another down, and stomp on one another
and grind their feet in one another and I don't
know what all, And just as fast as one of
them would get hurt, they'd told him off and running
over and on.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Well, they had done that as long as I sat there,
But pretty soon this boy that's had said ticket please,
he come up to me and he says, friends, you're
gonna have to leave because it is that you don't
have a ticket. And I says, well, all right, and
I got.
Speaker 7 (05:36):
Up and left.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
And I don't know, friends, to this day, what it
was that there's a doing down there, But I have
studied about it, and I think that it's some kindly
of a contest where they see which bunch full of
them men can take that punkin and run from one
end of that cow pasture to the oven without either
getting knocked down or stepping in something.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Good mornay, have a drunk.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
A lot of callbacks in that we've used over the years,
and not well, let's play Beating the Blonde and put
that punkin away over a retainer one eight hundred big shows.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
How you got two of them? We'll get a contestant
playing eggs.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Good morning, let's make show on the radio until your
Monday is September eighth. Today's feature track from the Big
Show bed Box, Carl and Melinda's Country day spot chech
for Keywords, day Spy, Oh Carl, Big girl from the
Dollar Store.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Fun when you hit.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The Big Shows dot com there right now?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Come on, ain't got time with this man? Beat the Blonde.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Let's meet our contestant, Douglas from Maynardville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Good morning, Douglas.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
How you saying here longer?
Speaker 8 (07:23):
You know?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Zimmon the Sam lives.
Speaker 6 (07:26):
I've been gunning very.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Give me a ticket, give me a whole bunch of
almost lurgeon.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yeah. Wow, this is what hell must be like. Good alright, Douglas.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Want to see if we can get you two bells
before two buzzers when you girl here and we'll get
you the prize.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Pick all.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Your yeah, here we go.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Now, Okay, I'm serious.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
This is my job.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oka raighten up excuses.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Aside, traffic is the number one actual reason for being
late to work.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
We're looking for number two, the number two reason.
Speaker 9 (08:27):
Let's see John Boys excuses alarmed.
Speaker 10 (08:31):
Didn't work on the road.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
I didn't have any.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
All right.
Speaker 8 (08:39):
But an actual reason I'm gonna say is overslept is
used a lot over over slept.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Right behind traffic. I agree, well that was yeah, it work.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And by the way, it's just so you'll know the
top five actual reason number one traffic, number two over sleeping,
number three procrastination.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Then I'll get around and go in the world. I
get damn. So that's why it's all this tailgating going
on out card.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Then household chores is number four and number five is
having sex.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, I'm five five.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Oh my boy, Douglas, you got one bail right there
was getting I'm late. I was having sex.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Actually you're a few minutes early.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Little boy.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Well you know you are more than sixty seconds late.
All right, right, where we well, let's talk about the King,
not Richard Petty, Elvis Presle. Okay, what was Elvis's favorite
amusement park ride?
Speaker 11 (10:10):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (10:10):
He was a thrill seeker.
Speaker 9 (10:11):
Was I believe him to be a Tilted World fan?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Tilted World World? Which one is that there's it's on
a flat spinny thing in the.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
In the cars go. It's a kind of like you know,
left and the right is like the half sea shale
thing that you know. That's that's the Alpine ride. What
about the Scrambler?
Speaker 8 (10:35):
Scrambler scrambler Sam and well, now you're making me want
to change my answer.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Let me say, all right, so Elvis a favorite ride now?
And what did you say?
Speaker 9 (10:46):
It was said a tilted world, but now tilt world.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I'm gonna stay with it. Okay. She doesn't sound real
sure about the Douglas. Do you agree or disagree?
Speaker 5 (10:56):
I believe I'll disagree, and that is anybody's by the way,
bumper cars.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Elvis loved a bumper cars. Yes, we all do that.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Well, good work, DoD unless you got the big old
Lord Tiger's prize pack and you amused us.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Thank you, thank you really much.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Here, John boy, I'll get a kick out of you
all every day.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
By a minty hour top of your news our Monday morning,
remembering rafers right.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
On the other side and far to the rain. Good morning,
(12:21):
any big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Do you ever wonder why the people who have the
dog that barks continuously apparently can't hear it? Rayford wonders
why the dogs don't get laryngitis from all that barking.
Speaker 7 (12:34):
Welcome to the politics free zone. You know radio talk
shows usually talk politics. One reason I don't get into
politics too much of it out there on the air.
Already one of the cable networks even prides itself on
and promotes itself as the place for politics. I think
we need a politics free zone. So I was delighted
(12:55):
to hear this subject come up on an out of
town call in show. Caller said, the dog next door,
left alone by his master, had been barking continuously for hours.
Why didn't it hurt the dog's throat at least as
much as the caller's ears. The talk master contacted a
veterinarian who explained that dogs do occasionally get laryngiis and
(13:17):
voice changes from excessive barking. It is not as common
in dogs as in people because the motor control of
the canine larynx is not as refined as that of
humans for sound production. Therefore, the voice range is narrower
and subsequent distress from phonation is probably not as severe.
So next question from the caller was why is it
(13:39):
when the dog is outside and its owners are at
home inside they apparently don't hear their own dog barking
continuously as everybody else in the neighborhood does. No answer
for that.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Robert D.
Speaker 7 (13:51):
Rayford passioned on for what it's worth in your neighborhood
on the John Boy and Billy Show.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio for
your Monday morning.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
All right, let's do it.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
It's time for the grumpy old man flaggery, flaggery flu.
I'm old and I hate foreigners. Back in my day,
we went up to our next in third world tax dodging,
law breaking, who's swilling, no driving, bo stinking insurance benefits, stealing,
(14:58):
illegal alien invader in our town. Everyone looked and talked
exactly like everyone else said. We liked it that way,
and let me write off. Kick the legs out from
under all you candy ass conclusion jumpers. We had plenty
of black folks in our town, so I don't want
to hear any of them whyy liberal accusations of racism.
(15:22):
And we didn't call him black or African American or
anything like that. We called him the Jeffersons because that
was their name, and they were as American as hot
dogs apple pie in the NBS. And we bent over
backwards to keep them folks happy, especially alligator Onnie Jefferson.
(15:45):
He had some creepy skin condition that made him look
like a cross between Wally gator and mister t and
we kept him happy because he had the best moonshine
and string of whos in the States. They had some
of their heath, most of their fingers and toes. Some
had lazy eyes, some wee walleyed, some even had little
(16:06):
tiny tails. But they were clean and they were Americans,
and that was what matted. And if you drank enough
of that moonshine, it wouldn't be long before they were
all looking like Dorothy Damn Lamore. Sure you got unspeakably
horrible diseases that made your privates puff up like a
jiffy pop, but at least you got them from an American, dammit,
(16:29):
and not a bunch of bought a hop and honyacks
that spoke in gibberish and smelled like them spicy hot dogs.
They smelled down town yippie doodled ingley doo. Look at me,
I'm a narrow minded xenophobe, out of my mind on
the illegal corn liquor in the clap Now thanks to
a crocodile of a mohawk, God bless America and keep
(16:51):
our country pure whippity woo.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
And we liked it.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
We didn't know nothing about no amnesty crap, all of neither.
Every time some green horde would come rolling into town,
the whole dad blade community would come out to greet
them to see if they passed the hat test, if
they were wearing a sombrero or a fars or a
beach towel or a cold bucket with horns on the side.
(17:19):
We automatically tied a bunch of rocks to them and
took them down to the river for a little swimming lesson,
and if they were lucky enough to make it, the
test number two, the talking test, and when they opened
their mouths, we had buy god better heard American ease,
because if those boobs started spouting all that blooperny bleepery
(17:40):
popperty clickingy, we'd get the pitchforks and torches out and
round them up. And we'd heard them down to the
town square, and then we'd ask them where they were from.
If they wouldn't talk, we'd stick a hunk of fat
back in their butts and toss them in the badger pin.
When those badges got a hold of that fat back,
those foreigners would start screaming for mercy in their native tongue.
(18:02):
That's when we bring in Timmy, the tongue tingleheiser, whose
old man was in the Navy and taught him a
few dirty words in every language known to man. And
when he figured out what ratfield sewer they crawled out of,
we tie him up, stack them like cordwood, and send
them back to Burrito Villa, hockey Town, or whatever third
world hell hole they were scaed in. And just before
(18:26):
they shoved off, they got to spend a few minutes
with the Muldoon Quinch, the five ugliest women in four states,
and each one of them had their lips swollen with
a terminal case of the herpies. They give them all
a great, big goodbye kiss, our hopes being they take
a mouthful of cold sauce back to google Land and
(18:46):
wipe out the entire population so we'd never have to
deal with them again. Hanker tea waggle t tee weee,
look at me, I'm an in bred mediac, putting fat
back in butt cracks and passing out court soress, parting gifts.
God bless America. And those were the good old days
(19:08):
when we liked it. We loved it to us. Flippery, fluid,
damn forties.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Good morning, and you got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
More chances for you to win coming up after your news.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Weather and sports.
Speaker 12 (19:28):
Ah, you gonna have all them good at two shoes
on the radio talking about their damn teith and having babies.
They're nothing sexy than a hot young man talking trash
on the radio. I like all them opinionated time men,
rock limball Yn Handy Neil Board. Yeah, snow on the roof.
(19:55):
They had a fire in the party. It's getting hot
in here. I take off all my clothes. Who I
feel so vulnerable?
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. We
can have us some fun on a Monday morning. Man,
all about sports this morning.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I miss my sports boy handsome as he retired on
a couple of years ago. It was back in the
sports agent world. I actually picking up some claims and said, man,
maybe better have a better call hands And I said, yeah,
I think I can pull a little Hanson out of
my butt.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Hell Ottle, gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Jackie.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
You'll tell me the truth? Is that as funny as
I think? My goodness, yes it is okay, don't ask me,
ask you. I was like, man, it's a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Man and pull out on any given moments. I'm in
the in the Hall of Fame, right, mumsy.
Speaker 13 (21:40):
Bugs, Yeah, what's up with that?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Alright, I'm doing it for now. Better call handsOn. Next,
we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Hang on, Good morning, make shows on the radio. First
round is a wordy word of the week coming up
in minutes. First we're gonna get back to our sports Monday.
You know, usually when with Doukins sports, I go to
my man Terry and Maurice Hanson. Of course you've well
documented his career. I said, man, sports without hands, and
(22:17):
I miss him. So let's call Hans and get him
off the couch. Good morning, Terry, Good morning guys.
Speaker 13 (22:23):
Has everybody there?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Man, everybody's good. Everybody's good.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I had Marcy tell you come up with a sports
or it's something to do with sports that you hadn't
told us yet, because I know we've covered a lot
over these years with you.
Speaker 13 (22:37):
We've covered a tremendous amount. And the coincidence like you
and Michael Jordan in your looking in your house at
the beach.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Michael Jorgan's house, yeah, and Michael Jordan's mama okay, so
are you go ahead?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Bring about good memories?
Speaker 13 (22:52):
So this one I've done a lot of things in
PR as you know, but this is the biggest PR
two I'd ever pulled off. And that's a lot to say.
But in nineteen eighty one, there were the Iranian hostages,
as you remember, they were incarcerated for four hundred and
(23:16):
forty four days, and there were ribbons on the trees
and people's hometown and it was we had one Colonel
Charles W. Scott was his name. So they let him
go in eighty one. They went over to westbott West Germany,
then West Point, and after that point they were going
(23:37):
to be on their way home. And nobody in Atlanta
knew the status. We didn't know where he was. So
on instinct I seen him a mail gram which you
get the next day to his house and I basically said, look,
Saturday night, we got an indoor soccer game, and like,
you kick out the first ball and I know to
(24:00):
do it. But so then Patty calls me the stadium
and says, who's Scott. I go, I don't know. Well
wait a minute, that's Colonel Scott. So I get him
a call and I said, hey, look, I know you
can't do this Saturday, but I really welcome home.
Speaker 11 (24:15):
Man.
Speaker 13 (24:16):
He goes, wait a minute, I'm an eleven year old
who watches you on television. He's a soccer fan. And
if I don't do this now, I ought to probably
go back to Iran. So I send a limo for him,
and I rode with him and picked them up the
family and we get in the back of the limo
and Colonel Scott says, so, anyway, my son says, you
(24:37):
were a college coach. I said, yeah, I was. He
said where. I said, in Kansas, in a small midwestern school.
He says which one. I said, Saint Benadict's and Access
in Kansas. He goes, I went there too. When did
you graduate? I said sixty nine. He said me too.
They were there were a day students. We never saw them. Okay,
(24:59):
So I don't want to sell any tickets because of
this situation. I just didn't want to do it. So
I put him in a holding room. When I got
down to the omni, they're in a home in this
kind of a room, and then I script my pr guide.
So we used to always knock the lights down at
the start when they bring out the Honor Guard and
(25:20):
all that stuff. So this night they're reading please welcome
the National Honor Guard from and also please welcome home
from Iran. And the place went nuts. I mean, TV
stations started rushing down there. Ted was at home. He
came rushing down there and it was just terrific. And
(25:41):
then so Ted says to me later on, can you ge,
can you bring into a Brave's game? I said, sure,
I'll bring him to a Brais game. So Ted makes
it a big deal at home plate with a microphone.
He gives them a lifetime pass for the Braves. Now,
they weren't doing very well in those days. And Furman Bisher,
(26:01):
the columnists from the Atlanta newspaper, said, hasn't he suffered enough?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I met Ted just loved you even more after that.
Speaker 13 (26:16):
Well, he certainly like that, And how could you not,
I mean, what a store a coincidence? And then I
called the college and I told him that the Iranians
had stole his classroom. So they invited him to come
out that summer in a ceremony to give it to him.
So he said, you're gonna come right and go no, no, no,
(26:37):
this is your weekend. I don't want to be anywhere
around him, so we kept in touch over the years.
He died a couple of years ago. Good man, good
guy and a hero.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Man as I am so glad I was thinking about
you about sports to call you and get that. So coincidence, man,
because we was just doing of course, September the eleventh
is this Thursday. Remember it's that we gotta never forget
coin and then tied in with the rainy and hostage situations.
You know we all lived through that eighties man, That
(27:09):
was that was something the way that worked out. Cool stuff, buddy,
appreciate you sharing that with us, man.
Speaker 13 (27:15):
My pleasure.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Guys. All right, my boy, we'll talk to you soon
when we better.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
All handsome god damn ol rae love you mean it
all right, Well, let's play a couple of rounds of
wordy word Tayner. Here's a microphone stand at home plate.
I need a victory this week. All we'll get a
couple of contestants at one eight hundred Big Show team
up and play next.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
You got the Big Show on the radio with our
feature track from the Big Show bit Box, Carl and
Melinda's Country Day Spog keywords day spog is my deals.
When you hit the Big Bogs app the Big Show
dot Com, you click out on their contest.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
But dang you do.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
We'll call you men on this game. Well the game
somebody you want to play? We can make that happen too.
Speaker 14 (28:24):
Like right now, I went to everybody's head about the bed.
Speaker 11 (28:29):
The word.
Speaker 14 (28:30):
We got some.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Work buddies, uh while from different states and see how
this works. We got Junior from Effingham, Illinois. A good morning, Junior,
Good morning buddy, welcome and got Spencer Dell Hi, Louisiana.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
That's you, Spencer.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Wait, yeah, I forgot to tell Barry remember my buttons sticky?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Hey Spencer you there now? Good morning, A good deal?
All right? So how y'all work buddies in different states?
Big company? Yeah, we're affing the pipeline. Oh awesome, man,
all right, right.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
We're big Greg, we're big grig drivers, John Boy.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Awesome man, awesome. We're proud to have y'all here on
this boys. Good, all right, Well let's do it. Uh Spencer,
you got Tater. I'll take Junior right off along with
a juniors and Tata. We know how Spencer. She is
with Astro nerd. All right, boys, it's a pole pirie
(29:37):
of words. Random words is what we're gonna do here
this morning. Spencer, you relax, Junior. Let's see what we
can put on the board.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
All right, alright, okay, all right, Dad is starting to clock. Now.
You put a message on these birds a carrier a board,
No message on the bird's leg that flyes a carrier.
Speaker 11 (30:01):
I uh I carry you?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, uh huh?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
All right, this erupts, this mountain erupts in love. Yeah,
uh huh? You eat you eat this bunny blank or
sunbeam watt make a sandwich out of bread? Yeah yeah,
Casper the friendly friendly goat.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Alright, we we got a little slow, but put it
on there, Junior of four on the board.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
All right there already, so Spencer and Tator, here comes
your thirty seconds.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Ready, Spencer, ready, Yeah, this morning I drank some of
that smart water, so I'm ready for you. You know,
this is a time to vent there, all right, start
the clock. Now.
Speaker 9 (30:50):
Are these are the kind of trees they have in
Miami in Florida?
Speaker 8 (30:55):
Yes, sir, this is what you have. An extension blank,
you plug it in an extension yep, you go to
this uh it's the service that they have when they
bury somebody. It's called a yep.
Speaker 10 (31:08):
You if you can't see, you are.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yep. Rise with it.
Speaker 9 (31:14):
You have a very sharp brain. You have very sharp
ye you can read read.
Speaker 7 (31:21):
Yes, all right, we.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
All put a five on the board to take the
lead by one. That's five to four.
Speaker 9 (31:28):
You're right, I do get along with spensers a junior.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Let's see what we can do. We need to get
some points right here. But dog gone and while we
always have arms. Okay, all right, there you go.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Do your food.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah, I'm looking at it. I know, I already got
it into my head. All right here, come on, junior
the show man. Start all right, start the clotting. Now
with your coffee beans. If you do them yourself, you
blame them, no, no, do you put them in the
machine gum?
Speaker 7 (31:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, okay, okay, blank sealed delivered. I'm yours. Your autograph document?
Yeah no, no, no, you you blanket your name? Yes, yes,
that's it. You get grapes off of a grape.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Rhymes with it. It's not yours, it is.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Other.
Speaker 5 (32:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Okay, what would do man? I know three on that
four a seven score.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
So Spencer and tater two to tie three to win
the Battle of the work buddies.
Speaker 9 (32:36):
Ready, okay, ready go at Valentine's Day? Will you be blank?
Speaker 8 (32:48):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (32:48):
Rhymes with it a blank tree makes blank cones?
Speaker 13 (32:54):
Fine, yep, all right.
Speaker 9 (32:56):
If you eat meat that's not cooked, we're not rhyming.
Eat meat that's not cooked. You're eating.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Roll for the wind as a matter of time, Junior
dog on it. Good money. We appreciate y'all.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Boys playing with us, and Junior will give you another
shot down the road. Well, you're going down the road.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Like a winner.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Appreciate exactly what a big honking horn there. Boy, Oh
my boy, Spencer, you hang on. You got your prize
pack coming to you, buddy, and.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
My buddy hasn't been on the show yet, so here
it's his first time.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
All right, cool man, cool well, way to spread the
word that spender.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Appreciate y'all. Yeah, it's been going to trust.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yead morning, I got the big show on the radio.
I hope y'all visit the John Boy and Billy Facebook
page whenever you think about it.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
We got some good connections with y'all. We should appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Oh, Luke Edd been getting his requests in there, he says,
one of my favorites one Star steak. Absolutely, Luke, thanks
to our buddy Greg Warren for the inspiration for that.
Coming up next, Good Morning, it's to.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
Make Shawl the radio.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
That request time, Luke and boy no John Moore Metal
Facebook paint here go.
Speaker 15 (34:41):
Luke got a hankering for steak, but don't want to
break the bank to get it. Cowboy Greg Warren says,
bring the wife and dogie's on down to One Star
Steakhouse and Saloon. You know, five star cuisine is highly overrated.
You gotta get all rest up for it. The portions
(35:02):
are tad skimpy, and they're always trying to push something
you never heard of on you, like chip boat lay this,
or a tilapia that. A good old medium rare sirloin
with a baked potato in the side of onion rings
was good enough for your daddy. Greg reckons it's good
enough for you too, but don't take our word for it.
Listen to these marginally satisfied one Star customers.
Speaker 9 (35:24):
It was okay, I guess I reckon.
Speaker 15 (35:27):
I've had worse come on out during our big brand
up and in celebration this weekend by one entree at
regular price, get another one for the price of another one.
It's two for the price of boat all weekend love
and every one star meal includes unlimited country croc spread
and one star is soon to be famous bottomless Creuton
bowl on our four item salad. Or you're a one
(35:51):
star gual, Come to the place that understand you. One
Star Steakhouse and Saloon, one star food for one Star people.
Located on State Road twenty three near the Frontage Road
in the old lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon. The fact
the hell, all we did was take the L off
the sign and print up some new menus. So next
time your belly's hollering steak make it a one star night.
(36:14):
One Star Steakhouse and Saloon. When good enough is good enough, Good.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Morning, Big shows on the radio, Billy and John Boy
and Billy Album. Here you go, Carl Melenda on our
Keywords Day spat Carl.
Speaker 14 (36:56):
Childern's here with Melinda, that big girl from a dollar. Hey,
you know the world today has gotten plumb ugly. Folks
all eat up with hating each other. The world's become
a kindly cruel place to live. Time to time, stress
can get right powerful.
Speaker 11 (37:13):
I get stressed out on stop day when I can't
find my price gun. I get so mad. Sometimes I
eat all the candy in the markdown Ben, and then
I get mad at myself.
Speaker 14 (37:26):
Yes, sir, it's a vicious circle, mister Bill Cox says,
and all that stress can float out kill ye. So
me and Melinda we decided to do something about it.
We just opened the doors to Carl and Melnda's down
home country day Spa.
Speaker 11 (37:41):
My feet hurt, Your feet hurt mine do all the time.
So at Carl and Melinda's feet are a top priority.
Speaker 14 (37:51):
Well, take good care of your feet like nobody else.
First off, you get a good old fashion foot massage.
Speaker 11 (37:58):
Nothing like a good pair of strong hands are rubbing
and a rubbing on your feet, especially when they hurt
like mine.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Dude, Well, sir, my grip ain't what it used to be.
Speaker 14 (38:09):
So we got a bunch of retired circus gyms from
Uncle Frisky's Homo Sapien haven off root three up there.
They can crack a coconut like a hen's egg. Them
sore feet, your it ain't nothing to them. And who
don't like a monkey?
Speaker 10 (38:22):
Don't be embarrassed if your fate stink. They like it.
Just don't make eye contact with them. They don't like that.
They'll bite your toes off.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
That only happened one time. Feller slready had it come.
Speaker 11 (38:36):
In looking back, it was kind of funny. It was
a big head on YouTube.
Speaker 14 (38:42):
What's your feet's all fixed up? It's time to get
rid of all that dead skin country style. We soak
your toes in a big, comfortable min a bucket. Them
little goomers will nibbling peck hole of dead skin off
them in no time flat.
Speaker 11 (38:56):
If them calluses are really bad, we take a wood
ass to them first. Mennows can't do everything, they're just minnows.
Speaker 14 (39:07):
Good feeling feet is just the first step. Now you're
ready for a good massage. Forget them high dollar places
and laying.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Hot rocks on your back.
Speaker 10 (39:17):
Whoop they do.
Speaker 14 (39:19):
Stretch out in the barnyard aarn. Let them little bitty
goats crawl on you. Them hoofs work all the knots
and tensions right out of your back.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
And they are plumb comical. I like the way they talk.
Speaker 11 (39:36):
Then it's time for a full body pamper and fill
your cares disappear as you soak your tired, sore, weary
old bones. In one of our deluxe troughs, choose either
barn mud or sausage gravy.
Speaker 14 (39:53):
The barn mud is chopped full of top soiling night crawlers.
All that wiggling and squiggling is downright relaxing.
Speaker 11 (40:00):
The cats use it as a litter box sometimes, but
we get most of it out, most of it.
Speaker 14 (40:07):
But the favorite is our homemade sausage gravy. It'stoc fresh
once a week. It's comfort food for theft side of
your body.
Speaker 11 (40:15):
I like the sausage gravy. I feel like a big
old biscuit.
Speaker 14 (40:20):
Just a bobbing in it is that fingernails, overgrowed, got
clothes like a bobcat. Then you must be hankering for
a manicure. That crazy cannibal feller from up a nervous
hospitable and all them things back to square at no time.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
You ain't gotta tip him, Just let him keep the clippings.
Speaker 11 (40:41):
We don't pick your pocket on good eats, complimentary potted
meat and soadi crackers, great pop and a handful of
them little mins from that moat tail.
Speaker 10 (40:52):
They'll close down.
Speaker 14 (40:53):
On the throughway and do yourself a favor and help
yourself to a big spoonful of honey from the Honey Waterfall.
Bunch of bees built a hive in the trailer wall,
and we didn't feel right about running them off.
Speaker 11 (41:05):
A man on the radio said local honey was good
for allergies. I ain't saying it's true, but I haven't
sneezed in over a month, just saying.
Speaker 14 (41:18):
Take the weekly turnpike past the funeral home where that
fella that likes other fellas works.
Speaker 11 (41:23):
I think everyone already knows.
Speaker 14 (41:26):
Look for the old ford Fair lane with a tree
growing through the hood, burning, a big, old double white
trailer with foil on the windows, and the old satellite
dish that the cow sleeps in.
Speaker 11 (41:37):
That's us park anywhere where something ain't and come on in, and.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
We guarantee you'll be saying, what'd you kill my stress? Fur?
What'd you kill my stress?
Speaker 11 (41:47):
Fir? Carl and Melinda's down home country day spall, Come
for the monkeys, stay for the pamper room.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Big box is here.
Speaker 15 (42:01):
All your favorites from four decades of The Big Show,
ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine. Buy
them once, play them anywhere you can shop the Big
Box online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Order a Big Show stuff by phone. The number is
eight hundred and four to seven one Stuff Online Services
by Enemy dot Com.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
If you missed any of the Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Bore Billy Lighton
Risers podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcast,
make it easy. Subscribe to us with a free I
Heart Radio app Love You Mean It
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Stand by for the classic Andy Griffin here on our
football Monday. Tell you what you can win if you
can beat the blonde in minutes, And so we go.
Lord Tiger's Prize by cool Swig, got hat t shirt, tumbler,
even the twenty five dollars gas card from Lord Tiger's motorcycle.
Lawyers who ride with Lord Tigers you never ride along
for two decades representing injured riders. Click on the banner
(00:26):
find out all about them when they hit the Big
Show dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
All right, let's do this.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
It was back last October, I believe it was. We
is are gonna hold a tent service off at this
college town. And we got there about dinner time on Saturday,
and different ones of us thought that we ought to
get us a mouthful to eat before that we set
up the tent. And so we got off of the
truck and followed this little bunch of people through this
(00:54):
small little bitty patch of woods there, and we come
up on a big sign it says get something to
eat here, And I went up and got me two
hot dogs and a big orange drink. And before that
I could take iremouthful of that food.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
This whole raft.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Of people come up around me and got me to
where I couldn't eat nothing up like, and I dropped.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
My big orange drink.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I did well.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Friends, they come in to move, and they want so
much that I could do but move well.
Speaker 5 (01:27):
Well.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
We come in to go through all kinds of doors
and gates, and I don't know what all. And I
looked up over one of them and it says North Gate.
And we kept on going through there, and pretty soon
we come up on a young boy and he says,
ticket please, And I says, friend, I don't.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Have a ticket.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I don't even know where it is that I'm going.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I did well.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
He says, come out as quick as you can, and
I says, I'll do it. I'll turn right around the
first chance to get.
Speaker 6 (02:00):
Well.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
We kept on a moving through there, and pretty soon
everybody got where it was that there was a going,
because they parted and I could see pretty good. I could,
and what I seen was this whole raft of people
a setting on these two banks and looking at one
another across this pretty little green cow pasture.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Well, they was.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
And somebody had tucked and drove white lines all over
it and drove posts in it, and I.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Don't know what all.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And I looked down there and I seen five or
six convicts are running up and down and a blowing
whistles they was. And then I looked down there and
I seen these pretty girls wearing these little bitty sharp
dresses and a dancing around. And so I sat down
and thought i'd see what it was that was going
to happen. I did, and about the time I got
(02:54):
set down good, I looked down there and I seen
thirty or forty men come out of one end of
a great big outhouse down there they did, and everybody
where I was a sitting got up and hollered. And
about that time thirty or forty come running out of
(03:15):
the other end of that outhouse, and the other bank full.
They got up and hollered. And I asked this fellow
that was setting beside of me. I says, friend, what
is it that they're hollering for? Well, he wopped me
on the back and he says, buddy, have a drunk. Well,
I says, I believe I will have another big orange.
(03:40):
And I got it and sat back down. And when
I got down there again, I seen that them men
had got in, two little bitty bunches down there, they
had railed close together, and they voted, they did, They
voted and elected one man a peace, and them two
men come out in the middle of that cow pasture
(04:02):
and shuck hands like they hadn't seen one another in
a long time. And then a convict come over to
where there was a standing and he took out a quarter,
and they come insto odd Man right back.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
They did.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Well.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
After a while, I seen what it.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Was that there's odd Man in fault. It was that
both bunches full of them men wanted this funny looking
little punkin to play with. They did, and I know, friends,
that they couldn't eat it because they kicked it the
whole evening.
Speaker 6 (04:36):
And it never busted.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
But tough anyhow, What I was telling was that both
bunches full wanted that thing, and one bunch got it,
and it made the other bunch just as mad as
they could be. And friends, I seen that evening the
awfulest fight that I have ever seen in my life.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
I did.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
They would run at one another and kick one another,
and throw one another down, and stomp on one another
and grind their feet in one another and I don't
know what all, And just as fast as one of
them would get hurt, they'd told him off and running
over and on.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Well, they had done that as long as I sat there,
But pretty soon this boy that's had said ticket please,
he come up to me and he says, friends, you're
gonna have to leave because it is that you don't
have a ticket. And I says, well, all right, and
I got.
Speaker 7 (05:36):
Up and left.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
And I don't know, friends, to this day, what it
was that there's a doing down there, But I have
studied about it, and I think that it's some kindly
of a contest where they see which bunch full of
them men can take that punkin and run from one
end of that cow pasture to the oven without either
getting knocked down or stepping in something.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Good mornay, have a drunk.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
A lot of callbacks in that we've used over the years,
and not well, let's play Beating the Blonde and put
that punkin away over a retainer one eight hundred big shows.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
How you got two of them? We'll get a contestant
playing eggs.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Good morning, let's make show on the radio until your
Monday is September eighth. Today's feature track from the Big
Show bed Box, Carl and Melinda's Country day spot chech
for Keywords, day Spy, Oh Carl, Big girl from the
Dollar Store.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Fun when you hit.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
The Big Shows dot com there right now?
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Come on, ain't got time with this man? Beat the Blonde.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Let's meet our contestant, Douglas from Maynardville, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Good morning, Douglas.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
How you saying here longer?
Speaker 8 (07:23):
You know?
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Zimmon the Sam lives.
Speaker 6 (07:26):
I've been gunning very.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Give me a ticket, give me a whole bunch of
almost lurgeon.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yeah. Wow, this is what hell must be like. Good alright, Douglas.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Want to see if we can get you two bells
before two buzzers when you girl here and we'll get
you the prize.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Pick all.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Your yeah, here we go.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Now, Okay, I'm serious.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
This is my job.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Oka raighten up excuses.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Aside, traffic is the number one actual reason for being
late to work.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
We're looking for number two, the number two reason.
Speaker 9 (08:27):
Let's see John Boys excuses alarmed.
Speaker 10 (08:31):
Didn't work on the road.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
I didn't have any.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
All right.
Speaker 8 (08:39):
But an actual reason I'm gonna say is overslept is
used a lot over over slept.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Right behind traffic. I agree, well that was yeah, it work.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And by the way, it's just so you'll know the
top five actual reason number one traffic, number two over sleeping,
number three procrastination.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Then I'll get around and go in the world. I
get damn. So that's why it's all this tailgating going
on out card.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
Then household chores is number four and number five is
having sex.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Okay, I'm five five.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Oh my boy, Douglas, you got one bail right there
was getting I'm late. I was having sex.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
Actually you're a few minutes early.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Little boy.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Well you know you are more than sixty seconds late.
All right, right, where we well, let's talk about the King,
not Richard Petty, Elvis Presle. Okay, what was Elvis's favorite
amusement park ride?
Speaker 11 (10:10):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (10:10):
He was a thrill seeker.
Speaker 9 (10:11):
Was I believe him to be a Tilted World fan?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Tilted World World? Which one is that there's it's on
a flat spinny thing in the.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
In the cars go. It's a kind of like you know,
left and the right is like the half sea shale
thing that you know. That's that's the Alpine ride. What
about the Scrambler?
Speaker 8 (10:35):
Scrambler scrambler Sam and well, now you're making me want
to change my answer.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Let me say, all right, so Elvis a favorite ride now?
And what did you say?
Speaker 9 (10:46):
It was said a tilted world, but now tilt world.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I'm gonna stay with it. Okay. She doesn't sound real
sure about the Douglas. Do you agree or disagree?
Speaker 5 (10:56):
I believe I'll disagree, and that is anybody's by the way,
bumper cars.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Elvis loved a bumper cars. Yes, we all do that.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Well, good work, DoD unless you got the big old
Lord Tiger's prize pack and you amused us.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Thank you, thank you really much.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
Here, John boy, I'll get a kick out of you
all every day.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
By a minty hour top of your news our Monday morning,
remembering rafers right.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
On the other side and far to the rain. Good morning,
(12:21):
any big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Do you ever wonder why the people who have the
dog that barks continuously apparently can't hear it? Rayford wonders
why the dogs don't get laryngitis from all that barking.
Speaker 7 (12:34):
Welcome to the politics free zone. You know radio talk
shows usually talk politics. One reason I don't get into
politics too much of it out there on the air.
Already one of the cable networks even prides itself on
and promotes itself as the place for politics. I think
we need a politics free zone. So I was delighted
(12:55):
to hear this subject come up on an out of
town call in show. Caller said, the dog next door,
left alone by his master, had been barking continuously for hours.
Why didn't it hurt the dog's throat at least as
much as the caller's ears. The talk master contacted a
veterinarian who explained that dogs do occasionally get laryngiis and
(13:17):
voice changes from excessive barking. It is not as common
in dogs as in people because the motor control of
the canine larynx is not as refined as that of
humans for sound production. Therefore, the voice range is narrower
and subsequent distress from phonation is probably not as severe.
So next question from the caller was why is it
(13:39):
when the dog is outside and its owners are at
home inside they apparently don't hear their own dog barking
continuously as everybody else in the neighborhood does. No answer
for that.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Robert D.
Speaker 7 (13:51):
Rayford passioned on for what it's worth in your neighborhood
on the John Boy and Billy Show.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio for
your Monday morning.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
All right, let's do it.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
It's time for the grumpy old man flaggery, flaggery flu.
I'm old and I hate foreigners. Back in my day,
we went up to our next in third world tax dodging,
law breaking, who's swilling, no driving, bo stinking insurance benefits, stealing,
(14:58):
illegal alien invader in our town. Everyone looked and talked
exactly like everyone else said. We liked it that way,
and let me write off. Kick the legs out from
under all you candy ass conclusion jumpers. We had plenty
of black folks in our town, so I don't want
to hear any of them whyy liberal accusations of racism.
(15:22):
And we didn't call him black or African American or
anything like that. We called him the Jeffersons because that
was their name, and they were as American as hot
dogs apple pie in the NBS. And we bent over
backwards to keep them folks happy, especially alligator Onnie Jefferson.
(15:45):
He had some creepy skin condition that made him look
like a cross between Wally gator and mister t and
we kept him happy because he had the best moonshine
and string of whos in the States. They had some
of their heath, most of their fingers and toes. Some
had lazy eyes, some wee walleyed, some even had little
(16:06):
tiny tails. But they were clean and they were Americans,
and that was what matted. And if you drank enough
of that moonshine, it wouldn't be long before they were
all looking like Dorothy Damn Lamore. Sure you got unspeakably
horrible diseases that made your privates puff up like a
jiffy pop, but at least you got them from an American, dammit,
(16:29):
and not a bunch of bought a hop and honyacks
that spoke in gibberish and smelled like them spicy hot dogs.
They smelled down town yippie doodled ingley doo. Look at me,
I'm a narrow minded xenophobe, out of my mind on
the illegal corn liquor in the clap Now thanks to
a crocodile of a mohawk, God bless America and keep
(16:51):
our country pure whippity woo.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
And we liked it.
Speaker 4 (16:58):
We didn't know nothing about no amnesty crap, all of neither.
Every time some green horde would come rolling into town,
the whole dad blade community would come out to greet
them to see if they passed the hat test, if
they were wearing a sombrero or a fars or a
beach towel or a cold bucket with horns on the side.
(17:19):
We automatically tied a bunch of rocks to them and
took them down to the river for a little swimming lesson,
and if they were lucky enough to make it, the
test number two, the talking test, and when they opened
their mouths, we had buy god better heard American ease,
because if those boobs started spouting all that blooperny bleepery
(17:40):
popperty clickingy, we'd get the pitchforks and torches out and
round them up. And we'd heard them down to the
town square, and then we'd ask them where they were from.
If they wouldn't talk, we'd stick a hunk of fat
back in their butts and toss them in the badger pin.
When those badges got a hold of that fat back,
those foreigners would start screaming for mercy in their native tongue.
(18:02):
That's when we bring in Timmy, the tongue tingleheiser, whose
old man was in the Navy and taught him a
few dirty words in every language known to man. And
when he figured out what ratfield sewer they crawled out of,
we tie him up, stack them like cordwood, and send
them back to Burrito Villa, hockey Town, or whatever third
world hell hole they were scaed in. And just before
(18:26):
they shoved off, they got to spend a few minutes
with the Muldoon Quinch, the five ugliest women in four states,
and each one of them had their lips swollen with
a terminal case of the herpies. They give them all
a great, big goodbye kiss, our hopes being they take
a mouthful of cold sauce back to google Land and
(18:46):
wipe out the entire population so we'd never have to
deal with them again. Hanker tea waggle t tee weee,
look at me, I'm an in bred mediac, putting fat
back in butt cracks and passing out court soress, parting gifts.
God bless America. And those were the good old days
(19:08):
when we liked it. We loved it to us. Flippery, fluid,
damn forties.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Good morning, and you got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
More chances for you to win coming up after your news.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Weather and sports.
Speaker 12 (19:28):
Ah, you gonna have all them good at two shoes
on the radio talking about their damn teith and having babies.
They're nothing sexy than a hot young man talking trash
on the radio. I like all them opinionated time men,
rock limball Yn Handy Neil Board. Yeah, snow on the roof.
(19:55):
They had a fire in the party. It's getting hot
in here. I take off all my clothes. Who I
feel so vulnerable?
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. We
can have us some fun on a Monday morning. Man,
all about sports this morning.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I miss my sports boy handsome as he retired on
a couple of years ago. It was back in the
sports agent world. I actually picking up some claims and said, man,
maybe better have a better call hands And I said, yeah,
I think I can pull a little Hanson out of
my butt.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Hell Ottle, gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Jackie.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
You'll tell me the truth? Is that as funny as
I think? My goodness, yes it is okay, don't ask me,
ask you. I was like, man, it's a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Man and pull out on any given moments. I'm in
the in the Hall of Fame, right, mumsy.
Speaker 13 (21:40):
Bugs, Yeah, what's up with that?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
Alright, I'm doing it for now. Better call handsOn. Next,
we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Hang on, Good morning, make shows on the radio. First
round is a wordy word of the week coming up
in minutes. First we're gonna get back to our sports Monday.
You know, usually when with Doukins sports, I go to
my man Terry and Maurice Hanson. Of course you've well
documented his career. I said, man, sports without hands, and
(22:17):
I miss him. So let's call Hans and get him
off the couch. Good morning, Terry, Good morning guys.
Speaker 13 (22:23):
Has everybody there?
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Man, everybody's good. Everybody's good.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
I had Marcy tell you come up with a sports
or it's something to do with sports that you hadn't
told us yet, because I know we've covered a lot
over these years with you.
Speaker 13 (22:37):
We've covered a tremendous amount. And the coincidence like you
and Michael Jordan in your looking in your house at
the beach.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Michael Jorgan's house, yeah, and Michael Jordan's mama okay, so
are you go ahead?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Bring about good memories?
Speaker 13 (22:52):
So this one I've done a lot of things in
PR as you know, but this is the biggest PR
two I'd ever pulled off. And that's a lot to say.
But in nineteen eighty one, there were the Iranian hostages,
as you remember, they were incarcerated for four hundred and
(23:16):
forty four days, and there were ribbons on the trees
and people's hometown and it was we had one Colonel
Charles W. Scott was his name. So they let him
go in eighty one. They went over to westbott West Germany,
then West Point, and after that point they were going
(23:37):
to be on their way home. And nobody in Atlanta
knew the status. We didn't know where he was. So
on instinct I seen him a mail gram which you
get the next day to his house and I basically said, look,
Saturday night, we got an indoor soccer game, and like,
you kick out the first ball and I know to
(24:00):
do it. But so then Patty calls me the stadium
and says, who's Scott. I go, I don't know. Well
wait a minute, that's Colonel Scott. So I get him
a call and I said, hey, look, I know you
can't do this Saturday, but I really welcome home.
Speaker 11 (24:15):
Man.
Speaker 13 (24:16):
He goes, wait a minute, I'm an eleven year old
who watches you on television. He's a soccer fan. And
if I don't do this now, I ought to probably
go back to Iran. So I send a limo for him,
and I rode with him and picked them up the
family and we get in the back of the limo
and Colonel Scott says, so, anyway, my son says, you
(24:37):
were a college coach. I said, yeah, I was. He
said where. I said, in Kansas, in a small midwestern school.
He says which one. I said, Saint Benadict's and Access
in Kansas. He goes, I went there too. When did
you graduate? I said sixty nine. He said me too.
They were there were a day students. We never saw them. Okay,
(24:59):
So I don't want to sell any tickets because of
this situation. I just didn't want to do it. So
I put him in a holding room. When I got
down to the omni, they're in a home in this
kind of a room, and then I script my pr guide.
So we used to always knock the lights down at
the start when they bring out the Honor Guard and
(25:20):
all that stuff. So this night they're reading please welcome
the National Honor Guard from and also please welcome home
from Iran. And the place went nuts. I mean, TV
stations started rushing down there. Ted was at home. He
came rushing down there and it was just terrific. And
(25:41):
then so Ted says to me later on, can you ge,
can you bring into a Brave's game? I said, sure,
I'll bring him to a Brais game. So Ted makes
it a big deal at home plate with a microphone.
He gives them a lifetime pass for the Braves. Now,
they weren't doing very well in those days. And Furman Bisher,
(26:01):
the columnists from the Atlanta newspaper, said, hasn't he suffered enough?
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I met Ted just loved you even more after that.
Speaker 13 (26:16):
Well, he certainly like that, And how could you not,
I mean, what a store a coincidence? And then I
called the college and I told him that the Iranians
had stole his classroom. So they invited him to come
out that summer in a ceremony to give it to him.
So he said, you're gonna come right and go no, no, no,
(26:37):
this is your weekend. I don't want to be anywhere
around him, so we kept in touch over the years.
He died a couple of years ago. Good man, good
guy and a hero.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Man as I am so glad I was thinking about
you about sports to call you and get that. So coincidence, man,
because we was just doing of course, September the eleventh
is this Thursday. Remember it's that we gotta never forget
coin and then tied in with the rainy and hostage situations.
You know we all lived through that eighties man, That
(27:09):
was that was something the way that worked out. Cool stuff, buddy,
appreciate you sharing that with us, man.
Speaker 13 (27:15):
My pleasure.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Guys. All right, my boy, we'll talk to you soon
when we better.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
All handsome god damn ol rae love you mean it
all right, Well, let's play a couple of rounds of
wordy word Tayner. Here's a microphone stand at home plate.
I need a victory this week. All we'll get a
couple of contestants at one eight hundred Big Show team
up and play next.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
You got the Big Show on the radio with our
feature track from the Big Show bit Box, Carl and
Melinda's Country Day Spog keywords day spog is my deals.
When you hit the Big Bogs app the Big Show
dot Com, you click out on their contest.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
But dang you do.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
We'll call you men on this game. Well the game
somebody you want to play? We can make that happen too.
Speaker 14 (28:24):
Like right now, I went to everybody's head about the bed.
Speaker 11 (28:29):
The word.
Speaker 14 (28:30):
We got some.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Work buddies, uh while from different states and see how
this works. We got Junior from Effingham, Illinois. A good morning, Junior,
Good morning buddy, welcome and got Spencer Dell Hi, Louisiana.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
That's you, Spencer.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Wait, yeah, I forgot to tell Barry remember my buttons sticky?
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Hey Spencer you there now? Good morning, A good deal?
All right? So how y'all work buddies in different states?
Big company? Yeah, we're affing the pipeline. Oh awesome, man,
all right, right.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
We're big Greg, we're big grig drivers, John Boy.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Awesome man, awesome. We're proud to have y'all here on
this boys. Good, all right, Well let's do it. Uh Spencer,
you got Tater. I'll take Junior right off along with
a juniors and Tata. We know how Spencer. She is
with Astro nerd. All right, boys, it's a pole pirie
(29:37):
of words. Random words is what we're gonna do here
this morning. Spencer, you relax, Junior. Let's see what we
can put on the board.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
All right, alright, okay, all right, Dad is starting to clock. Now.
You put a message on these birds a carrier a board,
No message on the bird's leg that flyes a carrier.
Speaker 11 (30:01):
I uh I carry you?
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, uh huh?
Speaker 2 (30:04):
All right, this erupts, this mountain erupts in love. Yeah,
uh huh? You eat you eat this bunny blank or
sunbeam watt make a sandwich out of bread? Yeah yeah,
Casper the friendly friendly goat.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Alright, we we got a little slow, but put it
on there, Junior of four on the board.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
All right there already, so Spencer and Tator, here comes
your thirty seconds.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Ready, Spencer, ready, Yeah, this morning I drank some of
that smart water, so I'm ready for you. You know,
this is a time to vent there, all right, start
the clock. Now.
Speaker 9 (30:50):
Are these are the kind of trees they have in
Miami in Florida?
Speaker 8 (30:55):
Yes, sir, this is what you have. An extension blank,
you plug it in an extension yep, you go to
this uh it's the service that they have when they
bury somebody. It's called a yep.
Speaker 10 (31:08):
You if you can't see, you are.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yep. Rise with it.
Speaker 9 (31:14):
You have a very sharp brain. You have very sharp
ye you can read read.
Speaker 7 (31:21):
Yes, all right, we.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
All put a five on the board to take the
lead by one. That's five to four.
Speaker 9 (31:28):
You're right, I do get along with spensers a junior.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Let's see what we can do. We need to get
some points right here. But dog gone and while we
always have arms. Okay, all right, there you go.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Do your food.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah, I'm looking at it. I know, I already got
it into my head. All right here, come on, junior
the show man. Start all right, start the clotting. Now
with your coffee beans. If you do them yourself, you
blame them, no, no, do you put them in the
machine gum?
Speaker 7 (31:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, okay, okay, blank sealed delivered. I'm yours. Your autograph document?
Yeah no, no, no, you you blanket your name? Yes, yes,
that's it. You get grapes off of a grape.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Rhymes with it. It's not yours, it is.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Other.
Speaker 5 (32:23):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Okay, what would do man? I know three on that
four a seven score.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
So Spencer and tater two to tie three to win
the Battle of the work buddies.
Speaker 9 (32:36):
Ready, okay, ready go at Valentine's Day? Will you be blank?
Speaker 8 (32:48):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (32:48):
Rhymes with it a blank tree makes blank cones?
Speaker 13 (32:54):
Fine, yep, all right.
Speaker 9 (32:56):
If you eat meat that's not cooked, we're not rhyming.
Eat meat that's not cooked. You're eating.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Roll for the wind as a matter of time, Junior
dog on it. Good money. We appreciate y'all.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Boys playing with us, and Junior will give you another
shot down the road. Well, you're going down the road.
Speaker 4 (33:15):
Like a winner.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Appreciate exactly what a big honking horn there. Boy, Oh
my boy, Spencer, you hang on. You got your prize
pack coming to you, buddy, and.
Speaker 5 (33:29):
My buddy hasn't been on the show yet, so here
it's his first time.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
All right, cool man, cool well, way to spread the
word that spender.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Appreciate y'all. Yeah, it's been going to trust.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yead morning, I got the big show on the radio.
I hope y'all visit the John Boy and Billy Facebook
page whenever you think about it.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
We got some good connections with y'all. We should appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Oh, Luke Edd been getting his requests in there, he says,
one of my favorites one Star steak. Absolutely, Luke, thanks
to our buddy Greg Warren for the inspiration for that.
Coming up next, Good Morning, it's to.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
Make Shawl the radio.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
That request time, Luke and boy no John Moore Metal
Facebook paint here go.
Speaker 15 (34:41):
Luke got a hankering for steak, but don't want to
break the bank to get it. Cowboy Greg Warren says,
bring the wife and dogie's on down to One Star
Steakhouse and Saloon. You know, five star cuisine is highly overrated.
You gotta get all rest up for it. The portions
(35:02):
are tad skimpy, and they're always trying to push something
you never heard of on you, like chip boat lay this,
or a tilapia that. A good old medium rare sirloin
with a baked potato in the side of onion rings
was good enough for your daddy. Greg reckons it's good
enough for you too, but don't take our word for it.
Listen to these marginally satisfied one Star customers.
Speaker 9 (35:24):
It was okay, I guess I reckon.
Speaker 15 (35:27):
I've had worse come on out during our big brand
up and in celebration this weekend by one entree at
regular price, get another one for the price of another one.
It's two for the price of boat all weekend love
and every one star meal includes unlimited country croc spread
and one star is soon to be famous bottomless Creuton
bowl on our four item salad. Or you're a one
(35:51):
star gual, Come to the place that understand you. One
Star Steakhouse and Saloon, one star food for one Star people.
Located on State Road twenty three near the Frontage Road
in the old lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon. The fact
the hell, all we did was take the L off
the sign and print up some new menus. So next
time your belly's hollering steak make it a one star night.
(36:14):
One Star Steakhouse and Saloon. When good enough is good enough, Good.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Morning, Big shows on the radio, Billy and John Boy
and Billy Album. Here you go, Carl Melenda on our
Keywords Day spat Carl.
Speaker 14 (36:56):
Childern's here with Melinda, that big girl from a dollar. Hey,
you know the world today has gotten plumb ugly. Folks
all eat up with hating each other. The world's become
a kindly cruel place to live. Time to time, stress
can get right powerful.
Speaker 11 (37:13):
I get stressed out on stop day when I can't
find my price gun. I get so mad. Sometimes I
eat all the candy in the markdown Ben, and then
I get mad at myself.
Speaker 14 (37:26):
Yes, sir, it's a vicious circle, mister Bill Cox says,
and all that stress can float out kill ye. So
me and Melinda we decided to do something about it.
We just opened the doors to Carl and Melnda's down
home country day Spa.
Speaker 11 (37:41):
My feet hurt, Your feet hurt mine do all the time.
So at Carl and Melinda's feet are a top priority.
Speaker 14 (37:51):
Well, take good care of your feet like nobody else.
First off, you get a good old fashion foot massage.
Speaker 11 (37:58):
Nothing like a good pair of strong hands are rubbing
and a rubbing on your feet, especially when they hurt
like mine.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
Dude, Well, sir, my grip ain't what it used to be.
Speaker 14 (38:09):
So we got a bunch of retired circus gyms from
Uncle Frisky's Homo Sapien haven off root three up there.
They can crack a coconut like a hen's egg. Them
sore feet, your it ain't nothing to them. And who
don't like a monkey?
Speaker 10 (38:22):
Don't be embarrassed if your fate stink. They like it.
Just don't make eye contact with them. They don't like that.
They'll bite your toes off.
Speaker 4 (38:33):
That only happened one time. Feller slready had it come.
Speaker 11 (38:36):
In looking back, it was kind of funny. It was
a big head on YouTube.
Speaker 14 (38:42):
What's your feet's all fixed up? It's time to get
rid of all that dead skin country style. We soak
your toes in a big, comfortable min a bucket. Them
little goomers will nibbling peck hole of dead skin off
them in no time flat.
Speaker 11 (38:56):
If them calluses are really bad, we take a wood
ass to them first. Mennows can't do everything, they're just minnows.
Speaker 14 (39:07):
Good feeling feet is just the first step. Now you're
ready for a good massage. Forget them high dollar places
and laying.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Hot rocks on your back.
Speaker 10 (39:17):
Whoop they do.
Speaker 14 (39:19):
Stretch out in the barnyard aarn. Let them little bitty
goats crawl on you. Them hoofs work all the knots
and tensions right out of your back.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
And they are plumb comical. I like the way they talk.
Speaker 11 (39:36):
Then it's time for a full body pamper and fill
your cares disappear as you soak your tired, sore, weary
old bones. In one of our deluxe troughs, choose either
barn mud or sausage gravy.
Speaker 14 (39:53):
The barn mud is chopped full of top soiling night crawlers.
All that wiggling and squiggling is downright relaxing.
Speaker 11 (40:00):
The cats use it as a litter box sometimes, but
we get most of it out, most of it.
Speaker 14 (40:07):
But the favorite is our homemade sausage gravy. It'stoc fresh
once a week. It's comfort food for theft side of
your body.
Speaker 11 (40:15):
I like the sausage gravy. I feel like a big
old biscuit.
Speaker 14 (40:20):
Just a bobbing in it is that fingernails, overgrowed, got
clothes like a bobcat. Then you must be hankering for
a manicure. That crazy cannibal feller from up a nervous
hospitable and all them things back to square at no time.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
You ain't gotta tip him, Just let him keep the clippings.
Speaker 11 (40:41):
We don't pick your pocket on good eats, complimentary potted
meat and soadi crackers, great pop and a handful of
them little mins from that moat tail.
Speaker 10 (40:52):
They'll close down.
Speaker 14 (40:53):
On the throughway and do yourself a favor and help
yourself to a big spoonful of honey from the Honey Waterfall.
Bunch of bees built a hive in the trailer wall,
and we didn't feel right about running them off.
Speaker 11 (41:05):
A man on the radio said local honey was good
for allergies. I ain't saying it's true, but I haven't
sneezed in over a month, just saying.
Speaker 14 (41:18):
Take the weekly turnpike past the funeral home where that
fella that likes other fellas works.
Speaker 11 (41:23):
I think everyone already knows.
Speaker 14 (41:26):
Look for the old ford Fair lane with a tree
growing through the hood, burning, a big, old double white
trailer with foil on the windows, and the old satellite
dish that the cow sleeps in.
Speaker 11 (41:37):
That's us park anywhere where something ain't and come on in, and.
Speaker 4 (41:42):
We guarantee you'll be saying, what'd you kill my stress? Fur?
What'd you kill my stress?
Speaker 11 (41:47):
Fir? Carl and Melinda's down home country day spall, Come
for the monkeys, stay for the pamper room.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Big box is here.
Speaker 15 (42:01):
All your favorites from four decades of The Big Show,
ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine. Buy
them once, play them anywhere you can shop the Big
Box online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Order a Big Show stuff by phone. The number is
eight hundred and four to seven one Stuff Online Services
by Enemy dot Com.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
If you missed any of the Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Bore Billy Lighton
Risers podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcast,
make it easy. Subscribe to us with a free I
Heart Radio app Love You Mean It
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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