February 10, 2025 • 42 mins
Monday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, got a case of the Mondays? - Robert Earl Keen sums up that feeling with his song, “Swerving’ In My Lane”.. - It’s Chronic Lyricosis Awareness Day and we’ve got the perfect spokesman.. - Oliver explains why he thinks Valentine’s Day is just a Scam.. - Mad Max has had it with tipping.. - Jive Mother Mary has a new single - we’ll give it a spin.. - and Mr. Rhubarb will finish up the day for us…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's a big show on the radio. I can't be
read this all right, sir, I'll read it. Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
This is Nigel Cadbury, Master Boys, Faithful Gentleman's Gentlemen, and
you're listening to Master Boy and young Sir William on
the Big Show. It's my responsibility to make sure that
Master Boy gets up and gets to work on time.
So when he's laid, it's my fault.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Oh sir, I feel so you.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Can do the.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
New up and that on.
Speaker 6 (01:08):
It is Monday, the day after Super Bowl Monday.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
The wee man was talking.
Speaker 6 (01:17):
About I'm going to make a national holiday. The closest
we got to it is National Football Hangover Day. So
I'm just being honest about it.
Speaker 7 (01:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
So let's see if any other national days jive. By
the way, give Mother Mary my favorite Southern rock bands
having a radio premiere later this morning when I wake up, turn.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It up all back to night day back. There's National Football.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Hangover Day, Baby, National cream Cheese Brownie Day, Old greasy
cheese murger better.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, football hangover there and.
Speaker 6 (01:59):
If you're going to house there they put us they
slapped a surcharge on their eggs.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Third charge on the eggs.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Every egg get you an extra fifty cents on the bill.
Speaker 7 (02:09):
How about that?
Speaker 6 (02:11):
All right?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Well, uh, aren't you full of good noise?
Speaker 8 (02:14):
Yeah, thank you for jumping in.
Speaker 6 (02:15):
They're making our day is National Umbrella Day, National Home
Warranty Day, and National clean out your Computer Day.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
There's all the other national days. You do that with
a hangover. So that's a great up there, all right.
Speaker 6 (02:31):
What we gonna do is celebrate our our album songs
we love to sing. That's what we're gonna do. I'm
not threatening, I'm serious. This Monday, we jumping in for
the whole work week. Head first, Big shows on the radio,
Good morning, Big shows on a radio. First prize pack
we played for today, a hardcovered copy of James Gregory's
(02:55):
autobiography It's a Bushel of Beans and a peck of Tomatoes,
The Life and Time of the Funniest Man in America,
includes a bookmark autograph by James, available now at Funniestman
dot com wherever books are sold. Listen up right here,
we're gonna do three dates in history where we're gonna
have three categories which she threw them here in a
second nineteen fifty seven, the stifoam cooler was invented. I'm
(03:19):
going to the day after the Super Bowl, but before
the Daytona five hundred.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
All right, we're not good.
Speaker 6 (03:28):
Nineteen ninety eight, AOL raised their monthly flat rate for
internet access from nineteen ninety five to twenty one dollars
in ninety five cent. What is it now like basically
for AOL, No, just for oh internet service. High speed
internet runs around one hundred dollars now, I mean the
company selling it will tell you it's less.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
But in the end, after taxes and all that is
AOL still around.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
They are, but they're owned by I think MSNBC now,
but another company owns them, and it's you know, they
don't make real good care of their servers, so you'll
forget them. Twenty one bucks they were, they're arou out
in ninety eight.
Speaker 9 (04:06):
Yeah, it's not dial up anymore either, so it's all good.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Oh they still do offer dial up, honestly.
Speaker 6 (04:11):
Yeah, twenty one bucks sounded like a deal.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
All right, Well, there you go. Things on the Internet.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
And finally, in seven in Fairfax, Virginia's sixty thousand eggs
were smashed on the highway when an eighteen wheeler overturned.
Freezing weather prevented a rancid smell on the beltway and
circling the nation's capital, So the unidentified driver fled the
scene rather than explained the mess. They was freezing, but
(04:41):
the megs getting slick when they freeze. U. Yeah, that
could be a multimillion dollar accident these days.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
All right, that's right.
Speaker 6 (04:48):
We talked about the eggs at one whiles early well
eight all times together. This here do good word one
eight hundred big shows. You were toll free line. Come on,
play out birds next, Good morning. This is a big
(05:25):
show on the radio. Super Bowl Monday. No, I'm sorry,
National Hangover Monday.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Who's the official name of DGA.
Speaker 10 (05:35):
We gotta feature Dragon the Big Show Ben bog Yes,
we got unknown history featuring al Capone, the Valentine's Day massacre.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Key word as Clyde for Clyde the Camel.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
I know these are the big.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Bugs at the Big Shows dot com.
Speaker 8 (05:55):
And right now, let's play uppers.
Speaker 11 (06:02):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 8 (06:05):
John Boys Billy to give you.
Speaker 12 (06:08):
Prizes from the big prize being.
Speaker 8 (06:11):
Let's go contested number one. This should really be a
lot of fun.
Speaker 11 (06:17):
When you're playing uppers, have the Marie up and guest
time you love the best time you have a big shots.
Speaker 8 (06:26):
Let's say hid.
Speaker 6 (06:28):
John from wichardal Falls, Texas, we have shots.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Good morning, John Roight.
Speaker 13 (06:46):
How are you doing, sir man?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
We are all away, Yes, good man, I hope you
are as well. John.
Speaker 13 (06:56):
I just want to tell you real quick that Richard
Bowden is from my hometown and text oh.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Man, oh so we were just stalked by Richard. Have
you seen him at the Walmart?
Speaker 4 (07:07):
No?
Speaker 13 (07:08):
I hadn't in a while. Don Henley is from there too.
I never got to meet Don, but I did get
to meet Richard. He's really a humble guy.
Speaker 14 (07:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
He is man, you know, and that's something he is
so Don Henley, of course, formerly the Eagles and solo career.
Speaker 13 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
Yeah, Richard said he talked Don out and said, look,
if you're gonna get any girls, you're gonna have to
put that trombone down and learn to play the drums.
He was playing the trombone. I know it's hard to kiss. See,
that's why I had to give up the trumpet.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
When you're playing.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
All right, I'm glad you made it in here, buddy.
Let's see when you get you through these three categories
and get you that prize pack.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
He ready to go.
Speaker 13 (07:55):
I'm ready, sir.
Speaker 6 (07:56):
Five seconds. Three things made out of styrofoam, Ready go.
Speaker 13 (08:01):
Starfron starfron cops, beer coolers, and those packing peanuts that
are very annoying when you open the box and they
go everywhere.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
You got it with a commentary, thank you very much.
And now John, Three things on the internet, Ready go.
Speaker 13 (08:17):
Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and way too much.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Taylor's with yeah, hey you better watch it. Talk about
missus Kelsey coming in a John, Yeah, I.
Speaker 13 (08:29):
Better need to get a barter guard.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Now for the wind. Give us three things you can
make with eggs? Ready go?
Speaker 13 (08:38):
How about omelet deviled eggs? And how about eggs salad?
Speaker 8 (08:41):
Tam Well all sounds.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Let me ask you right quick?
Speaker 6 (08:50):
Do you put the little ghurkins pickles in your egg
salad that you make?
Speaker 8 (08:55):
John?
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Actually, yeah, everybody's think is that the same thing?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Else? Just in some little pickles?
Speaker 10 (09:06):
The same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
It's the same thing. Well, don't go, I can eliminate
the step you could.
Speaker 13 (09:13):
Well, I've been listening to you. I've been listening y'all
for twenty five years. I want to This is the
first time called her. I want to give out a
shout to Keith Vaughan, the DJ here one oh four
Steven the bear.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
Well all right, John, good deal there that John Egle,
John and Keith Baic.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Y'all Texas Boys came the Big Show rolling.
Speaker 13 (09:31):
Yes, sir, every day, all.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
Right, We're gonna jump out and find out what went
on around you. Specifically Robert Earl King speaking the Texas Boys,
we got.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
One coming up.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Good.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Monday Morning, February tenth, Big Shoe is on the radio.
Robert Earl Keane without Monday Morning Song as done by
Robert Earl Keane is being lying in the Big Shoe studio.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. Come on, Jack
and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 14 (10:43):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right as I
travel down left of bad things ain't going my way
because there's always some want swarming in my life.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
You keep swerving in my.
Speaker 14 (11:06):
Life and it's causing lots of thanger.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
I'm a honking on my horror line. I'm shooting you
the fling keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
To him.
Speaker 14 (11:27):
When you're swerving all lives highway, you're running someone.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
Off the ride the day Joe Way, I thought I
never never could love another. How else could I feed?
Speaker 14 (11:50):
But bowing you run into me, I can't believe I
could not see her.
Speaker 8 (11:58):
I'll tank up the only ones at the body.
Speaker 14 (12:04):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bands.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting you the fine.
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 14 (12:23):
But you're just too dimpty Now when you're swerving all lights?
Oh why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Driving a big show?
Speaker 5 (13:07):
You more radio?
Speaker 8 (13:11):
Come on, less act, Hello friends, you're old pal. Burt
Bird here with another Moeller mangling.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode The Toothache.
As our story opens, Mavis Deetwater is paying a visit
to the dentist. Okay, come on in, missus Teetwater.
Speaker 15 (13:32):
It's deep water.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I don't care. I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place.
What do you mean? You're a dentist, right, so they
tell me.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
But looking at your chart, it says you hear about
your toot hatch, you know, being a dentist. I am
not a rectal technician or in medical terminology.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
A button.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Doctor, Let me see that. Start it says, toothache?
Speaker 8 (13:52):
Idiot?
Speaker 5 (13:53):
How about that?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So do you still want to do this?
Speaker 15 (13:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
My tooth is killing me? Okay, so when did this start?
Speaker 7 (14:00):
Yesterday?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Hasn't even been twenty four hours.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
You're a real candy.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Ass, aren't you.
Speaker 15 (14:04):
Can we please focus on the tooth?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Oh yes, ma'am.
Speaker 7 (14:07):
Your husband must be miserable.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
What was that?
Speaker 5 (14:12):
I mean, let's have a look.
Speaker 8 (14:14):
Oh wow, wow, wow, that is gross?
Speaker 6 (14:19):
Is it that bad?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I just found a big piece of roast beef lodged
back here. Here's a tip, chew your food.
Speaker 7 (14:25):
Is that all it is?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Nope, it's obsessed and infected.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
It's got to come out.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
And since you're such as I assume you'll still want
the gas?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
How much is all of this gonna cost me?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Really?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
How about free? Why all you have to do is
scream your head off? Why my waiting room is full?
And I have a tea time in thirty minutes? And
how we hope you enjoyed John Bully and Billy Playhouse.
(14:57):
If you wake up and your top two buttons are undone,
it wasn't me unless you're into it, and then yes,
it was tune in next time when we'll hear the
laughing gas delivery guy say.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good more
than everybody more big show to come.
Speaker 8 (15:13):
Hang where you are, yo?
Speaker 11 (15:15):
What's up?
Speaker 8 (15:17):
This is ike and for all of five one one
you need on all things Redneck.
Speaker 16 (15:24):
Just check out my two favorite crackers, John bro and
Bitley right here on the Big Show. I listened to
something else my own self, but white Boy Patrick Dunn
broke off.
Speaker 8 (15:34):
The knob in the Cadile Act. Patrick never mind piece
out good mornn.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
It's a big show on the radio. Shuman Pratt the
Big Show Brad. We're so proud of him playing bass
for my favorite southern rock band on next Generation This Job,
Mother Mary release their newest single. We will have a
radio premiere right after we cook off a final hour
in a big show later this morning. It's all about
music from our John Boyn billy album songs.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
We love to sing. Oh, helping a lot of people
with us.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
One said on a knife, I was downtown woman cutting India.
Speaker 17 (16:53):
Yeah, yeah, that's Saturday night. I was downtown working for
the FBI. Really, No, that's the Oh you were No,
I didn't think you were working for the equa.
Speaker 12 (17:03):
John Boy has an embarrassing problem.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Hurricane love song, Hurricane Hurricane.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Lo, Hurricane Lo song, ten feed long Johnny, that's heard
it in a love song, can't be wrong?
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Huh.
Speaker 12 (17:32):
He appears normal, but he's actually the victim of a
debilitating disease.
Speaker 18 (17:40):
Rocking Donnah Harvey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey,
rocking Donnah Harvey.
Speaker 9 (17:49):
Not rocking Donna Harvey. It's rocking down the.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Highway, ah rocking Donnah huh.
Speaker 12 (17:55):
He thinks he knows the lyrics to popular songs, but
he's actually the victim of chronic lyricosis.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
So hold on, Lucy, don't let go.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
If you dream to night lay, you're gonna lose your tone.
Speaker 17 (18:19):
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny Johnny. Hold on loosely, don't let go.
If you clean too tightly, you're gonna lose control. To control, control, control.
Speaker 12 (18:32):
Chronic Lyricosis affects thousands of Americans each year. And now
there's hope your contribution to the American chronic Lyricosas society
can help end this dreaded crippler of would be karaoke
singers everywhere.
Speaker 9 (18:45):
Live in way they're drug put your foot on, Hey, hey, Hey, hey,
Imminent front.
Speaker 8 (18:49):
It's a put on.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
Yeah yeah, yeah, living way.
Speaker 12 (18:52):
They're drug Send you a text deductible contribution to the
American Chronic Lyricosis Society. Nine to fifteen East fourth Street, Charlotte,
two eight two o four.
Speaker 5 (19:02):
Don't go around your wives.
Speaker 18 (19:04):
Let me take your knife.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
There's a bathroom on the ride.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
Huh, good morning. Got the Big Show on the radio
for my album songs we love to sing. Of course,
the Clinton Mambo one of the most requested ever here
on the Big Show. Hang on, we'll go roll in
the second. First, let me tell you what you can
win if you win John Boy Jeopardy and we will
all play that in minutes. Is one hundred and twenty
(19:33):
dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made of good
old USA truck drivers keep America moving and bullsnot make
sure they look good doing it. And you can find
bull Snot at truck stops across America. Download the app
when you hit the Big Show dot com. Hang on,
win you some in minutes. Let's do it.
Speaker 15 (19:53):
Uh, mister President, your West called. She's busy in New York.
She won't be coming home to.
Speaker 11 (19:58):
Speak in Thanks, okay, Fellers it's party time. One, two, three, four, five,
everybody in the limo. Come on, let's ride to the
let a store around the corner the wife's.
Speaker 8 (20:11):
Side of town.
Speaker 11 (20:12):
So I think I really won'ta call some names from
my little black book guaranteed to make this party cook.
We'll call Angela and Pamela and Buffy and Vicki, and
for you know it, everything will be freaky.
Speaker 8 (20:25):
We're gonna throw it down, then we're gonna pick it up.
These girls a cue. That's a little speckle puff. I
know I said that.
Speaker 11 (20:31):
I learned my lesson, but I just can't keep from
messing a little bit of.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Monica in my life.
Speaker 8 (20:37):
A little bit of Erica.
Speaker 11 (20:39):
By my side, A little bit of Rita if you please,
a little bit of Teena she's a sleeze. A little
bit of Sandra she's so funky. A little bit of
Mary she's kind of chunky. A little bit of Jess
because what I see a little bit of break from he'llovery.
Speaker 15 (21:00):
And mister President, the Joe from coolers right here, I say.
Speaker 11 (21:04):
All right, setting them right in. Hey, girls, come on in,
y'all are look kidd and go? Hey those chicken wings? Yeah,
put them on the conference table right over there. Hey,
y'all want to see the war root, jump up and
down and move it all around. Put your hands in
the air. Ifo you clothes on the ground, then climb
(21:25):
on board.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
And we'll have fun. Wanna take a ride on Air
Force one.
Speaker 11 (21:30):
We'll fly so high we'll touch the sky, and if
we get caught, we'll lie. A little bit of sandy
on my lap. A little bit of Tiffany she likes wrap.
A little bit of red up if you please, a little.
Speaker 8 (21:44):
Bit of team up. She's a sleeze.
Speaker 11 (21:46):
A little bit of sandrup on the fly, A little
bit of Mary on the sly, A little bit of
Jessica raising cane, a little break from.
Speaker 8 (21:55):
That old ball and chain.
Speaker 15 (22:00):
And mister President diplomatic house from Jamaica, just to ride
so all right?
Speaker 8 (22:07):
What that baby up?
Speaker 18 (22:08):
Hey?
Speaker 8 (22:08):
Want to see me in hell.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Smooth?
Speaker 8 (22:28):
A little bit of Monica in the house.
Speaker 11 (22:30):
A little bit of something on her blouse, a little
bit of red she's a gold.
Speaker 8 (22:36):
A little bit of Tina she's a hoe, A little
bit to.
Speaker 11 (22:39):
Sign up on the desk, A little bit of Marry.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
She's the best. A little bit of Jessica in my life,
a great.
Speaker 11 (22:47):
Big secret from my wife. Hey, girls, me and you,
I can get you all a job at Revlon too.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
You know me.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
I love the freak. See you the same time next week.
Speaker 15 (23:09):
Just call you will be arriving after all.
Speaker 11 (23:12):
Go okay, everybody crafts mode, cross this mode, treat this place.
Speaker 8 (23:21):
Hey honey, welcome home.
Speaker 6 (23:28):
Yes, a more than com including chroniclercosis two. Next hour, Well,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Let's just jump right in
here on a brand new week's worth of trivial according
to Jason great, yeah, at least you turned away from.
(23:50):
According to the statistics, New Year's Eve is the most
popular day of the year to get married in Las Vegas.
We're looking for number two.
Speaker 9 (24:01):
What is get a divorce?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Probably, but no, not exactly what we're looking for here.
What y'all got one?
Speaker 8 (24:08):
Eight hundred?
Speaker 6 (24:09):
Big Show you told free line? We go, do we
get a winner? We play John boyd Jeopardy next.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 8 (24:41):
The Big Show's on the radio.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
When I pictured track from The.
Speaker 6 (24:44):
Big Show Big Box unknown history al capone is a
Valentine's Day massacre. Search for keyword claude. You're a Big
Box at the Big Show dot.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Com right now, let's play Yells live across America. HiT's
Jongboy Chapley and now your host.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
He knows a guy who went to Vegas in a
three thousand dollars Honda and drove home in a three
hundred thousand dollars bus.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
He's young boy.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
Then bag.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
Say Chris out of Tupelo, Mississippi. Good morning, Chris, Good morning,
Hey buddy. You know our musical buddy Paul Thorne out
of Tupelo.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Chris, Hey, hey, we do it's that's a good.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Day, man.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Awesome. He's another musician friend of ours that he's really
just a humble guy.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
He is.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
He's wonderful. Still got very good stuff, man, I just
heard him.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
By the day.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
You want to go, Paul, Go Paul. We need to
get him back on the show.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
All right.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Well Chris, Hey, your work's done here.
Speaker 8 (25:53):
See you bout it?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Just kidding.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
You got the first shot of John Boy Jeopardy coming
out of Tupelo this morning, Chris. According to the stats,
New Year's Eve is the most popular day of the
year to get married in Las Vegas, and this is
number two. Now Tator said get divorced, but I don't
think she was paying attention.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Understand, So what have you got?
Speaker 11 (26:21):
Hey?
Speaker 8 (26:21):
I think it's probably gonna be Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
It's got to be Valentine's Day after New Year's Eve.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Let's see, Well, how do you would think Valentine's Day
would be first?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I don't guess.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
Maybe you hammered before midnight? Yeah, all right, we'll find
out later about that.
Speaker 13 (26:48):
Chris.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
In the meantime, one and twenty dollars worth of bull
snot cleaning products. Head down to two plow four you
But congratulations.
Speaker 15 (26:56):
Hey, thank y'all very much.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
You got it money?
Speaker 8 (27:05):
All right?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Here it is your news, a time capsule for Monday morning.
Speaker 6 (27:10):
Right on the other side, talk about Valentine's over says
it's a scam. This is the award winning John Boy
(27:45):
and Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Yo, man, what's up?
Speaker 13 (27:58):
He do?
Speaker 4 (27:59):
He?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I was in the waffle house.
Speaker 11 (28:01):
Other night, about two o'clock in the morning, of course,
I mean that's when most people end up in the
waffle house. You know what I mean. I mean it's
like they got this thing on the menu says call
ahead and your order will be ready when you arrive.
But like nobody ever plans to go to the waffle house.
It just kind of happens, you know. I Mean, it's
not the kind of thing you think about when you're
having like a big dinner party for somebody. Honey, I
(28:21):
was thinking about having waffle house, Kate of that big
cotillion we got coming up. We in the delivery area,
Like that sign they have on the door says we
have menus in braille. You ever think about that? I mean,
the only people in the world that need to see
that sign can't see that sign.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
You know.
Speaker 11 (28:38):
What is it with the coffee in the waffle house?
Who who was the last fresh part of coffee? They
brewted this place when they were welcoming home the troops
on V Day. Tastes like some big truck pulls up
pumps it in the big underground tanks like they got
at the gas station. You know, they got it in bulk.
I mean even Elim Clampitt wouldn't drink this stuff, you
know what I mean? Because houses like soul food for
(29:01):
white people. I mean, white people go in there. But
I think I'm the only black dude ever been in
this one. You know, know, it's never any black people
at the waffle house except maybe that brother in the
paper hat behind the counter with the bad attitude. Of course,
if I was working at the waffle house, I might
have an attitude.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
Too, you know.
Speaker 11 (29:16):
And then there's Bernice. I love her, the three hundred
pounds waitress. Saure's always working in there. You know, she
got that hairdo look like somebody stuck a funnel up
a button blew up her head. She kept trying to
shoot the breeze with me, so she knew me thought
I was somebody named sweetie. I don't even know you
ever noticed that they like assign your nickname while you're there.
If you don't have one, they'll let you borrow one
(29:37):
for a little while you're sweety sweety as this and
sweety of that. I mean, I kind of felt like
an outcast in there anyway, because like I was the
only dude in there, didn't know everybody else in there
by name. I guess when like when you hang out
at the waffle house, you people had to stick together,
you know. I mean, I'm sorry to me going in
the waffle house, it's kind of like going in an
adult bookstore or something, and know it's like, look, baby,
(30:00):
I'm embarrassed enough about just being in here. Don't make
me talk to you too. And I think they only
got six people that worked for the entire company at
the waffle house, and they just like move them around
from location to location. Because I was another other night,
I swear the same waitress waited on me. They waited
on me at the one in Myrtle Beach like three
months ago, you know, because I guess it's kind of
(30:20):
hard to recruit people for the waffle house. And it
was like, your career got to be in sad shape
if you think the waffle house would be like a
good move for it. Oh, but here's the kapital about
the whole trip. I went in this one, I said,
give me two waffles. Bernice looked at me like I
was crazet. She said, we ain't got no waffles. She said,
the waffle line been broke for two years. And I
started thinking about it. Yeah, you don't never see nobody
(30:41):
go in the waffle house and actually order waffles, you know,
I've never seen that. And I was like, why did
they even call it the waffle house? What was like
the runny eggs, burnt hash browns, and toxic coffee house
was like too long to fit.
Speaker 8 (30:53):
On the sign on the front of the building or something.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
I don't y'all think about it.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I'm out, Webster.
Speaker 7 (31:00):
Boy and Billy.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
Oh there you are, Darling.
Speaker 9 (31:03):
I thought you'd never get here.
Speaker 7 (31:05):
Good morning radio, done right, Good morning.
Speaker 8 (31:34):
It's a big Shaw on the radio. Of course, every.
Speaker 6 (31:37):
Only wonderful music we were treated to during Super Bowl Sunday.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
We decided to have a songs we love to sing Monday.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
That's what we're doing.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
Chronic lyricosist too is coming up in minutes. Makes oh
Headley Lamar looked like Hendrick, Yeah, Rick, Hendrick, Hendrick.
Speaker 13 (31:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
It was wonderfulness. Was glued to the TV. Yeah, okay,
right now, where is the love?
Speaker 6 (32:07):
Well, it's coming in four days, but right now it's
time for Oliver.
Speaker 15 (32:18):
Well.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Well, well.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
It's that time of year again.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Spring is about to be sprung. Love is in the air,
and a woman's fancy turns to thoughts of how she's
going to soak her man out of every spaed diamon
in his pocket. That's right, it's Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day
(32:46):
is a scam, a holiday created by and four women,
just like every other holiday. Why if there's a chance
to score some sort of gift by merely turning the
calendar page. Brother, you can vet your sweet life. A
(33:06):
woman will find it. She can't get inside your head,
so she does the next best thing. She gets into
your wallet. And it's painful to say, but the depth
of her love is only as deep as your pockets.
(33:28):
And Valentine's Day is the perfect example why time was
a beautiful card with thoughts of it deepest love and
devotion would bring a tear to her beautiful eyes. But today,
if you give her just a card, there'll be no tears,
(33:49):
whether it's hallmarker or not. Her eyes will only show
the fires of unspeakable rage and seething hatred for all
things men.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
And they'll be staring right at you.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
It used to be that a single simple red rose
was a blessed gesture of honest, heartfelt emotion that said
I love you. Now all it says is I'm a cheap,
good for nothing sob who never gave a tinker's damn
about you, and who no doubt gave the remaining eleven
(34:26):
roses to my other women, who, by the way, also
think I'm a cheap loser and a smelly.
Speaker 13 (34:34):
So and so.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Ah, the language of flowers, sweets for the sweet. Once
upon a time, a box of delicious gourmet candy was
the perfect key to your darling's heart. But now you're
just trying to make her fat, fat and unattractive, even
(35:00):
more than she is right now. And if you don't
give her candy, then you must think she's too fat already.
Speaker 8 (35:10):
And as much as you try.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
To explain, you can't win.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
So don't even try. Just nod and say you're right,
you are too fat. She's gonna clabber you one way
or the other. You might as well get a chuckle
out of it. Nowadays women want the world diamond tennis bracelets,
(35:35):
Caribbean cruises.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
And sports cars.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
It's what those stupid television commercials have led her to expect.
Always showing guys ten times better looking than you, lavishing
expensive gifts on girls you'll never be able to get.
The difference is as you stare at your television, you
(35:59):
realize that what you're looking at is pure fiction because
you're a man. But as she lays there on the sofa,
like she does most of the day every day, wearing
those same old sweatpants with the thighs worn thin by
numerous trips to the refrigerator, her hair a massive matted
(36:24):
rats nest, and the smoldering filter of her fifty third
cigarette of the morning hanging from the corner of her
cracked lips. She watches the exact same commercial you saw,
but she sees the two of you, and if he
(36:46):
can give those sports cars and cruises and bracelets to her,
you should be able to do it too. Welcome to
the warped, delusional mind of every woman in the world.
So men, do yourself a favor, not only this Valentine's Day,
but every holiday. Call her bluff, ignore her, give her nothing,
(37:15):
not even the time of day, or she'll be upset,
perhaps even angry, possibly violent. Maybe she'll even leave. But
as the old saying goes, if you love something, set
it free. If it comes back to you, think of
the money you've saved. And if it doesn't return, you'll
(37:40):
have absolutely no problem replacing that greedy, loud mouthed, trouble
making old bag with another one exactly like her.
Speaker 8 (37:58):
Good more than everybody to big shall is right here
on the radio.
Speaker 18 (38:04):
Saves me.
Speaker 8 (38:04):
Praised You're lifted.
Speaker 18 (38:06):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated to smile on
your face and a song in your heart as long
as you buying their Bloody gri Lill and Sauce, John
Boy and Billy on the Big Show, Faith and Begora,
(38:55):
Good Morning.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
Makes Shows on the radio, Dodgy National hang Over Monday.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
What a coincidence it falls right after the super Bowl.
Huh you're thinking about that?
Speaker 6 (39:12):
Love me God?
Speaker 4 (39:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (39:13):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:14):
More from our wonderful album chronic Lyricoses too, people.
Speaker 7 (39:21):
Can you feel it?
Speaker 18 (39:23):
Loves in my Heart?
Speaker 11 (39:26):
People?
Speaker 7 (39:26):
Can you feel it?
Speaker 11 (39:27):
No?
Speaker 9 (39:27):
No, no, no, Loves in my Heart love everywhere.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I gave new movie Loves in my.
Speaker 8 (39:35):
Love is everywhere. I love man.
Speaker 18 (39:38):
I love this.
Speaker 12 (39:39):
Chronic lyricosis. It can strike anyone at any age. It's
victims think they know the lyrics to popular songs, completely
unaware that they're completely clueless.
Speaker 8 (39:51):
Bring Me and I Heard Long, Bring Me and I Long.
Speaker 9 (39:58):
Iron No, no, no, it's in an accident. No, it's
a long higher loan.
Speaker 12 (40:05):
Chronic Lyricosis strikes its victims without warning, but it also
takes a terrible toll on friends and loved ones.
Speaker 8 (40:11):
Taking carrot biscuits every day?
Speaker 13 (40:14):
What bacon carrot biscuits.
Speaker 5 (40:17):
Making you wears making carrot biscuits.
Speaker 8 (40:20):
Hey, it's all.
Speaker 10 (40:21):
Right, making cart biscuits and waiting on a pipe.
Speaker 7 (40:26):
Look, no, no, take it?
Speaker 9 (40:27):
Hey, hey, hey, taking care of business?
Speaker 6 (40:30):
Shut out.
Speaker 5 (40:33):
I understand them.
Speaker 8 (40:35):
Back in the Jesus.
Speaker 13 (40:37):
I don't care if it gets me hard.
Speaker 8 (40:40):
No people living in constipation?
Speaker 5 (40:45):
How longest to have on bees up?
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Piece of mine?
Speaker 8 (40:55):
I know, I'm sure I'm lod it.
Speaker 12 (40:58):
There's make sure yet, But there is hope. Who was
search funded by your gifts to the American Chronic Lyricosis Society.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
Home Michosa Tony dance, what calt the head lies down?
Speaker 11 (41:13):
And hallwe.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
What lazer Donna?
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Sheet leaner?
Speaker 8 (41:21):
No, no, no, no sheets of Leonard. No business today.
You got it all wrong. I'm fairly tough man.
Speaker 5 (41:30):
No tiny dance.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
It's not a tiny dance. It's tiny dancer.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Got the head lies down?
Speaker 6 (41:42):
Marbll some day monkey play piano song, play piano song.
Speaker 9 (41:51):
No, No, it's something it's French French monkey.
Speaker 12 (41:58):
Say your tax deductable contribution to the American Chronic Lyricosis Society.
Nine to fifteen East Forth Street, Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 7 (42:06):
Two eight two oh four. Hurry an idiot, maybe waited
all that.
Speaker 5 (42:11):
Two chickens to peril, raw shoes, pack a bag.
Speaker 9 (42:16):
Of leaves tonight.
Speaker 13 (42:17):
I've got two.
Speaker 5 (42:19):
Chickens to par la. Raw juice.
Speaker 10 (42:22):
Pack a bath of leaves tonight.
Speaker 8 (42:25):
Chickens parrel life.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
Yeah no
It's a big show on the radio. I can't be
read this all right, sir, I'll read it. Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
This is Nigel Cadbury, Master Boys, Faithful Gentleman's Gentlemen, and
you're listening to Master Boy and young Sir William on
the Big Show. It's my responsibility to make sure that
Master Boy gets up and gets to work on time.
So when he's laid, it's my fault.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Oh sir, I feel so you.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Can do the.
Speaker 5 (01:06):
New up and that on.
Speaker 6 (01:08):
It is Monday, the day after Super Bowl Monday.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
The wee man was talking.
Speaker 6 (01:17):
About I'm going to make a national holiday. The closest
we got to it is National Football Hangover Day. So
I'm just being honest about it.
Speaker 7 (01:34):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
So let's see if any other national days jive. By
the way, give Mother Mary my favorite Southern rock bands
having a radio premiere later this morning when I wake up, turn.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
It up all back to night day back. There's National Football.
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Hangover Day, Baby, National cream Cheese Brownie Day, Old greasy
cheese murger better.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, football hangover there and.
Speaker 6 (01:59):
If you're going to house there they put us they
slapped a surcharge on their eggs.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Third charge on the eggs.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Every egg get you an extra fifty cents on the bill.
Speaker 7 (02:09):
How about that?
Speaker 6 (02:11):
All right?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Well, uh, aren't you full of good noise?
Speaker 8 (02:14):
Yeah, thank you for jumping in.
Speaker 6 (02:15):
They're making our day is National Umbrella Day, National Home
Warranty Day, and National clean out your Computer Day.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
There's all the other national days. You do that with
a hangover. So that's a great up there, all right.
Speaker 6 (02:31):
What we gonna do is celebrate our our album songs
we love to sing. That's what we're gonna do. I'm
not threatening, I'm serious. This Monday, we jumping in for
the whole work week. Head first, Big shows on the radio,
Good morning, Big shows on a radio. First prize pack
we played for today, a hardcovered copy of James Gregory's
(02:55):
autobiography It's a Bushel of Beans and a peck of Tomatoes,
The Life and Time of the Funniest Man in America,
includes a bookmark autograph by James, available now at Funniestman
dot com wherever books are sold. Listen up right here,
we're gonna do three dates in history where we're gonna
have three categories which she threw them here in a
second nineteen fifty seven, the stifoam cooler was invented. I'm
(03:19):
going to the day after the Super Bowl, but before
the Daytona five hundred.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
All right, we're not good.
Speaker 6 (03:28):
Nineteen ninety eight, AOL raised their monthly flat rate for
internet access from nineteen ninety five to twenty one dollars
in ninety five cent. What is it now like basically
for AOL, No, just for oh internet service. High speed
internet runs around one hundred dollars now, I mean the
company selling it will tell you it's less.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
But in the end, after taxes and all that is
AOL still around.
Speaker 6 (03:52):
They are, but they're owned by I think MSNBC now,
but another company owns them, and it's you know, they
don't make real good care of their servers, so you'll
forget them. Twenty one bucks they were, they're arou out
in ninety eight.
Speaker 9 (04:06):
Yeah, it's not dial up anymore either, so it's all good.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Oh they still do offer dial up, honestly.
Speaker 6 (04:11):
Yeah, twenty one bucks sounded like a deal.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
All right, Well, there you go. Things on the Internet.
Speaker 6 (04:18):
And finally, in seven in Fairfax, Virginia's sixty thousand eggs
were smashed on the highway when an eighteen wheeler overturned.
Freezing weather prevented a rancid smell on the beltway and
circling the nation's capital, So the unidentified driver fled the
scene rather than explained the mess. They was freezing, but
(04:41):
the megs getting slick when they freeze. U. Yeah, that
could be a multimillion dollar accident these days.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
All right, that's right.
Speaker 6 (04:48):
We talked about the eggs at one whiles early well
eight all times together. This here do good word one
eight hundred big shows. You were toll free line. Come on,
play out birds next, Good morning. This is a big
(05:25):
show on the radio. Super Bowl Monday. No, I'm sorry,
National Hangover Monday.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Who's the official name of DGA.
Speaker 10 (05:35):
We gotta feature Dragon the Big Show Ben bog Yes,
we got unknown history featuring al Capone, the Valentine's Day massacre.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Key word as Clyde for Clyde the Camel.
Speaker 5 (05:50):
I know these are the big.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Bugs at the Big Shows dot com.
Speaker 8 (05:55):
And right now, let's play uppers.
Speaker 11 (06:02):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 8 (06:05):
John Boys Billy to give you.
Speaker 12 (06:08):
Prizes from the big prize being.
Speaker 8 (06:11):
Let's go contested number one. This should really be a
lot of fun.
Speaker 11 (06:17):
When you're playing uppers, have the Marie up and guest
time you love the best time you have a big shots.
Speaker 8 (06:26):
Let's say hid.
Speaker 6 (06:28):
John from wichardal Falls, Texas, we have shots.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Good morning, John Roight.
Speaker 13 (06:46):
How are you doing, sir man?
Speaker 6 (06:47):
We are all away, Yes, good man, I hope you
are as well. John.
Speaker 13 (06:56):
I just want to tell you real quick that Richard
Bowden is from my hometown and text oh.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Man, oh so we were just stalked by Richard. Have
you seen him at the Walmart?
Speaker 4 (07:07):
No?
Speaker 13 (07:08):
I hadn't in a while. Don Henley is from there too.
I never got to meet Don, but I did get
to meet Richard. He's really a humble guy.
Speaker 14 (07:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
He is man, you know, and that's something he is
so Don Henley, of course, formerly the Eagles and solo career.
Speaker 13 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
Yeah, Richard said he talked Don out and said, look,
if you're gonna get any girls, you're gonna have to
put that trombone down and learn to play the drums.
He was playing the trombone. I know it's hard to kiss. See,
that's why I had to give up the trumpet.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
When you're playing.
Speaker 6 (07:46):
All right, I'm glad you made it in here, buddy.
Let's see when you get you through these three categories
and get you that prize pack.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
He ready to go.
Speaker 13 (07:55):
I'm ready, sir.
Speaker 6 (07:56):
Five seconds. Three things made out of styrofoam, Ready go.
Speaker 13 (08:01):
Starfron starfron cops, beer coolers, and those packing peanuts that
are very annoying when you open the box and they
go everywhere.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
You got it with a commentary, thank you very much.
And now John, Three things on the internet, Ready go.
Speaker 13 (08:17):
Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and way too much.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Taylor's with yeah, hey you better watch it. Talk about
missus Kelsey coming in a John, Yeah, I.
Speaker 13 (08:29):
Better need to get a barter guard.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Now for the wind. Give us three things you can
make with eggs? Ready go?
Speaker 13 (08:38):
How about omelet deviled eggs? And how about eggs salad?
Speaker 8 (08:41):
Tam Well all sounds.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Let me ask you right quick?
Speaker 6 (08:50):
Do you put the little ghurkins pickles in your egg
salad that you make?
Speaker 8 (08:55):
John?
Speaker 6 (08:57):
Actually, yeah, everybody's think is that the same thing?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Else? Just in some little pickles?
Speaker 10 (09:06):
The same thing.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
It's the same thing. Well, don't go, I can eliminate
the step you could.
Speaker 13 (09:13):
Well, I've been listening to you. I've been listening y'all
for twenty five years. I want to This is the
first time called her. I want to give out a
shout to Keith Vaughan, the DJ here one oh four
Steven the bear.
Speaker 6 (09:23):
Well all right, John, good deal there that John Egle,
John and Keith Baic.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Y'all Texas Boys came the Big Show rolling.
Speaker 13 (09:31):
Yes, sir, every day, all.
Speaker 6 (09:38):
Right, We're gonna jump out and find out what went
on around you. Specifically Robert Earl King speaking the Texas Boys,
we got.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
One coming up.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
Good.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
Monday Morning, February tenth, Big Shoe is on the radio.
Robert Earl Keane without Monday Morning Song as done by
Robert Earl Keane is being lying in the Big Shoe studio.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing. Come on, Jack
and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 14 (10:43):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right as I
travel down left of bad things ain't going my way
because there's always some want swarming in my life.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
You keep swerving in my.
Speaker 14 (11:06):
Life and it's causing lots of thanger.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
I'm a honking on my horror line. I'm shooting you
the fling keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
To him.
Speaker 14 (11:27):
When you're swerving all lives highway, you're running someone.
Speaker 5 (11:32):
Off the ride the day Joe Way, I thought I
never never could love another. How else could I feed?
Speaker 14 (11:50):
But bowing you run into me, I can't believe I
could not see her.
Speaker 8 (11:58):
I'll tank up the only ones at the body.
Speaker 14 (12:04):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bands.
Speaker 5 (12:12):
I'm cussing out your name. I'm shooting you the fine.
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 14 (12:23):
But you're just too dimpty Now when you're swerving all lights?
Oh why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Driving a big show?
Speaker 5 (13:07):
You more radio?
Speaker 8 (13:11):
Come on, less act, Hello friends, you're old pal. Burt
Bird here with another Moeller mangling.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
Edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse today's episode The Toothache.
As our story opens, Mavis Deetwater is paying a visit
to the dentist. Okay, come on in, missus Teetwater.
Speaker 15 (13:32):
It's deep water.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
I don't care. I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place.
What do you mean? You're a dentist, right, so they
tell me.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
But looking at your chart, it says you hear about
your toot hatch, you know, being a dentist. I am
not a rectal technician or in medical terminology.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
A button.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Doctor, Let me see that. Start it says, toothache?
Speaker 8 (13:52):
Idiot?
Speaker 5 (13:53):
How about that?
Speaker 1 (13:54):
So do you still want to do this?
Speaker 15 (13:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (13:56):
My tooth is killing me? Okay, so when did this start?
Speaker 7 (14:00):
Yesterday?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Hasn't even been twenty four hours.
Speaker 5 (14:02):
You're a real candy.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Ass, aren't you.
Speaker 15 (14:04):
Can we please focus on the tooth?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Oh yes, ma'am.
Speaker 7 (14:07):
Your husband must be miserable.
Speaker 4 (14:11):
What was that?
Speaker 5 (14:12):
I mean, let's have a look.
Speaker 8 (14:14):
Oh wow, wow, wow, that is gross?
Speaker 6 (14:19):
Is it that bad?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I just found a big piece of roast beef lodged
back here. Here's a tip, chew your food.
Speaker 7 (14:25):
Is that all it is?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Nope, it's obsessed and infected.
Speaker 5 (14:29):
It's got to come out.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
And since you're such as I assume you'll still want
the gas?
Speaker 1 (14:34):
How much is all of this gonna cost me?
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Really?
Speaker 3 (14:36):
How about free? Why all you have to do is
scream your head off? Why my waiting room is full?
And I have a tea time in thirty minutes? And
how we hope you enjoyed John Bully and Billy Playhouse.
(14:57):
If you wake up and your top two buttons are undone,
it wasn't me unless you're into it, and then yes,
it was tune in next time when we'll hear the
laughing gas delivery guy say.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good more
than everybody more big show to come.
Speaker 8 (15:13):
Hang where you are, yo?
Speaker 11 (15:15):
What's up?
Speaker 8 (15:17):
This is ike and for all of five one one
you need on all things Redneck.
Speaker 16 (15:24):
Just check out my two favorite crackers, John bro and
Bitley right here on the Big Show. I listened to
something else my own self, but white Boy Patrick Dunn
broke off.
Speaker 8 (15:34):
The knob in the Cadile Act. Patrick never mind piece
out good mornn.
Speaker 6 (16:16):
It's a big show on the radio. Shuman Pratt the
Big Show Brad. We're so proud of him playing bass
for my favorite southern rock band on next Generation This Job,
Mother Mary release their newest single. We will have a
radio premiere right after we cook off a final hour
in a big show later this morning. It's all about
music from our John Boyn billy album songs.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
We love to sing. Oh, helping a lot of people
with us.
Speaker 6 (16:43):
One said on a knife, I was downtown woman cutting India.
Speaker 17 (16:53):
Yeah, yeah, that's Saturday night. I was downtown working for
the FBI. Really, No, that's the Oh you were No,
I didn't think you were working for the equa.
Speaker 12 (17:03):
John Boy has an embarrassing problem.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Hurricane love song, Hurricane Hurricane.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Lo, Hurricane Lo song, ten feed long Johnny, that's heard
it in a love song, can't be wrong?
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Huh.
Speaker 12 (17:32):
He appears normal, but he's actually the victim of a
debilitating disease.
Speaker 18 (17:40):
Rocking Donnah Harvey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey,
rocking Donnah Harvey.
Speaker 9 (17:49):
Not rocking Donna Harvey. It's rocking down the.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Highway, ah rocking Donnah huh.
Speaker 12 (17:55):
He thinks he knows the lyrics to popular songs, but
he's actually the victim of chronic lyricosis.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
So hold on, Lucy, don't let go.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
If you dream to night lay, you're gonna lose your tone.
Speaker 17 (18:19):
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny Johnny. Hold on loosely, don't let go.
If you clean too tightly, you're gonna lose control. To control, control, control.
Speaker 12 (18:32):
Chronic Lyricosis affects thousands of Americans each year. And now
there's hope your contribution to the American chronic Lyricosas society
can help end this dreaded crippler of would be karaoke
singers everywhere.
Speaker 9 (18:45):
Live in way they're drug put your foot on, Hey, hey, Hey, hey,
Imminent front.
Speaker 8 (18:49):
It's a put on.
Speaker 5 (18:50):
Yeah yeah, yeah, living way.
Speaker 12 (18:52):
They're drug Send you a text deductible contribution to the
American Chronic Lyricosis Society. Nine to fifteen East fourth Street, Charlotte,
two eight two o four.
Speaker 5 (19:02):
Don't go around your wives.
Speaker 18 (19:04):
Let me take your knife.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
There's a bathroom on the ride.
Speaker 6 (19:13):
Huh, good morning. Got the Big Show on the radio
for my album songs we love to sing. Of course,
the Clinton Mambo one of the most requested ever here
on the Big Show. Hang on, we'll go roll in
the second. First, let me tell you what you can
win if you win John Boy Jeopardy and we will
all play that in minutes. Is one hundred and twenty
(19:33):
dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products made of good
old USA truck drivers keep America moving and bullsnot make
sure they look good doing it. And you can find
bull Snot at truck stops across America. Download the app
when you hit the Big Show dot com. Hang on,
win you some in minutes. Let's do it.
Speaker 15 (19:53):
Uh, mister President, your West called. She's busy in New York.
She won't be coming home to.
Speaker 11 (19:58):
Speak in Thanks, okay, Fellers it's party time. One, two, three, four, five,
everybody in the limo. Come on, let's ride to the
let a store around the corner the wife's.
Speaker 8 (20:11):
Side of town.
Speaker 11 (20:12):
So I think I really won'ta call some names from
my little black book guaranteed to make this party cook.
We'll call Angela and Pamela and Buffy and Vicki, and
for you know it, everything will be freaky.
Speaker 8 (20:25):
We're gonna throw it down, then we're gonna pick it up.
These girls a cue. That's a little speckle puff. I
know I said that.
Speaker 11 (20:31):
I learned my lesson, but I just can't keep from
messing a little bit of.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Monica in my life.
Speaker 8 (20:37):
A little bit of Erica.
Speaker 11 (20:39):
By my side, A little bit of Rita if you please,
a little bit of Teena she's a sleeze. A little
bit of Sandra she's so funky. A little bit of
Mary she's kind of chunky. A little bit of Jess
because what I see a little bit of break from he'llovery.
Speaker 15 (21:00):
And mister President, the Joe from coolers right here, I say.
Speaker 11 (21:04):
All right, setting them right in. Hey, girls, come on in,
y'all are look kidd and go? Hey those chicken wings? Yeah,
put them on the conference table right over there. Hey,
y'all want to see the war root, jump up and
down and move it all around. Put your hands in
the air. Ifo you clothes on the ground, then climb
(21:25):
on board.
Speaker 8 (21:26):
And we'll have fun. Wanna take a ride on Air
Force one.
Speaker 11 (21:30):
We'll fly so high we'll touch the sky, and if
we get caught, we'll lie. A little bit of sandy
on my lap. A little bit of Tiffany she likes wrap.
A little bit of red up if you please, a little.
Speaker 8 (21:44):
Bit of team up. She's a sleeze.
Speaker 11 (21:46):
A little bit of sandrup on the fly, A little
bit of Mary on the sly, A little bit of
Jessica raising cane, a little break from.
Speaker 8 (21:55):
That old ball and chain.
Speaker 15 (22:00):
And mister President diplomatic house from Jamaica, just to ride
so all right?
Speaker 8 (22:07):
What that baby up?
Speaker 18 (22:08):
Hey?
Speaker 8 (22:08):
Want to see me in hell.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
Smooth?
Speaker 8 (22:28):
A little bit of Monica in the house.
Speaker 11 (22:30):
A little bit of something on her blouse, a little
bit of red she's a gold.
Speaker 8 (22:36):
A little bit of Tina she's a hoe, A little
bit to.
Speaker 11 (22:39):
Sign up on the desk, A little bit of Marry.
Speaker 8 (22:43):
She's the best. A little bit of Jessica in my life,
a great.
Speaker 11 (22:47):
Big secret from my wife. Hey, girls, me and you,
I can get you all a job at Revlon too.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
You know me.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
I love the freak. See you the same time next week.
Speaker 15 (23:09):
Just call you will be arriving after all.
Speaker 11 (23:12):
Go okay, everybody crafts mode, cross this mode, treat this place.
Speaker 8 (23:21):
Hey honey, welcome home.
Speaker 6 (23:28):
Yes, a more than com including chroniclercosis two. Next hour, Well,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Let's just jump right in
here on a brand new week's worth of trivial according
to Jason great, yeah, at least you turned away from.
(23:50):
According to the statistics, New Year's Eve is the most
popular day of the year to get married in Las Vegas.
We're looking for number two.
Speaker 9 (24:01):
What is get a divorce?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Probably, but no, not exactly what we're looking for here.
What y'all got one?
Speaker 8 (24:08):
Eight hundred?
Speaker 6 (24:09):
Big Show you told free line? We go, do we
get a winner? We play John boyd Jeopardy next.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 8 (24:41):
The Big Show's on the radio.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
When I pictured track from The.
Speaker 6 (24:44):
Big Show Big Box unknown history al capone is a
Valentine's Day massacre. Search for keyword claude. You're a Big
Box at the Big Show dot.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Com right now, let's play Yells live across America. HiT's
Jongboy Chapley and now your host.
Speaker 6 (25:05):
He knows a guy who went to Vegas in a
three thousand dollars Honda and drove home in a three
hundred thousand dollars bus.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
He's young boy.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
Then bag.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
Say Chris out of Tupelo, Mississippi. Good morning, Chris, Good morning,
Hey buddy. You know our musical buddy Paul Thorne out
of Tupelo.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Chris, Hey, hey, we do it's that's a good.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
Day, man.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Awesome. He's another musician friend of ours that he's really
just a humble guy.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
He is.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
He's wonderful. Still got very good stuff, man, I just
heard him.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
By the day.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
You want to go, Paul, Go Paul. We need to
get him back on the show.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
All right.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Well Chris, Hey, your work's done here.
Speaker 8 (25:53):
See you bout it?
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Just kidding.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
You got the first shot of John Boy Jeopardy coming
out of Tupelo this morning, Chris. According to the stats,
New Year's Eve is the most popular day of the
year to get married in Las Vegas, and this is
number two. Now Tator said get divorced, but I don't
think she was paying attention.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Understand, So what have you got?
Speaker 11 (26:21):
Hey?
Speaker 8 (26:21):
I think it's probably gonna be Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
It's got to be Valentine's Day after New Year's Eve.
Speaker 6 (26:28):
Let's see, Well, how do you would think Valentine's Day
would be first?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
I don't guess.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
Maybe you hammered before midnight? Yeah, all right, we'll find
out later about that.
Speaker 13 (26:48):
Chris.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
In the meantime, one and twenty dollars worth of bull
snot cleaning products. Head down to two plow four you
But congratulations.
Speaker 15 (26:56):
Hey, thank y'all very much.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
You got it money?
Speaker 8 (27:05):
All right?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Here it is your news, a time capsule for Monday morning.
Speaker 6 (27:10):
Right on the other side, talk about Valentine's over says
it's a scam. This is the award winning John Boy
(27:45):
and Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Yo, man, what's up?
Speaker 13 (27:58):
He do?
Speaker 4 (27:59):
He?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
I was in the waffle house.
Speaker 11 (28:01):
Other night, about two o'clock in the morning, of course,
I mean that's when most people end up in the
waffle house. You know what I mean. I mean it's
like they got this thing on the menu says call
ahead and your order will be ready when you arrive.
But like nobody ever plans to go to the waffle house.
It just kind of happens, you know. I Mean, it's
not the kind of thing you think about when you're
having like a big dinner party for somebody. Honey, I
(28:21):
was thinking about having waffle house, Kate of that big
cotillion we got coming up. We in the delivery area,
Like that sign they have on the door says we
have menus in braille. You ever think about that? I mean,
the only people in the world that need to see
that sign can't see that sign.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
You know.
Speaker 11 (28:38):
What is it with the coffee in the waffle house?
Who who was the last fresh part of coffee? They
brewted this place when they were welcoming home the troops
on V Day. Tastes like some big truck pulls up
pumps it in the big underground tanks like they got
at the gas station. You know, they got it in bulk.
I mean even Elim Clampitt wouldn't drink this stuff, you
know what I mean? Because houses like soul food for
(29:01):
white people. I mean, white people go in there. But
I think I'm the only black dude ever been in
this one. You know, know, it's never any black people
at the waffle house except maybe that brother in the
paper hat behind the counter with the bad attitude. Of course,
if I was working at the waffle house, I might
have an attitude.
Speaker 8 (29:15):
Too, you know.
Speaker 11 (29:16):
And then there's Bernice. I love her, the three hundred
pounds waitress. Saure's always working in there. You know, she
got that hairdo look like somebody stuck a funnel up
a button blew up her head. She kept trying to
shoot the breeze with me, so she knew me thought
I was somebody named sweetie. I don't even know you
ever noticed that they like assign your nickname while you're there.
If you don't have one, they'll let you borrow one
(29:37):
for a little while you're sweety sweety as this and
sweety of that. I mean, I kind of felt like
an outcast in there anyway, because like I was the
only dude in there, didn't know everybody else in there
by name. I guess when like when you hang out
at the waffle house, you people had to stick together,
you know. I mean, I'm sorry to me going in
the waffle house, it's kind of like going in an
adult bookstore or something, and know it's like, look, baby,
(30:00):
I'm embarrassed enough about just being in here. Don't make
me talk to you too. And I think they only
got six people that worked for the entire company at
the waffle house, and they just like move them around
from location to location. Because I was another other night,
I swear the same waitress waited on me. They waited
on me at the one in Myrtle Beach like three
months ago, you know, because I guess it's kind of
(30:20):
hard to recruit people for the waffle house. And it
was like, your career got to be in sad shape
if you think the waffle house would be like a
good move for it. Oh, but here's the kapital about
the whole trip. I went in this one, I said,
give me two waffles. Bernice looked at me like I
was crazet. She said, we ain't got no waffles. She said,
the waffle line been broke for two years. And I
started thinking about it. Yeah, you don't never see nobody
(30:41):
go in the waffle house and actually order waffles, you know,
I've never seen that. And I was like, why did
they even call it the waffle house? What was like
the runny eggs, burnt hash browns, and toxic coffee house
was like too long to fit.
Speaker 8 (30:53):
On the sign on the front of the building or something.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
I don't y'all think about it.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I'm out, Webster.
Speaker 7 (31:00):
Boy and Billy.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
Oh there you are, Darling.
Speaker 9 (31:03):
I thought you'd never get here.
Speaker 7 (31:05):
Good morning radio, done right, Good morning.
Speaker 8 (31:34):
It's a big Shaw on the radio. Of course, every.
Speaker 6 (31:37):
Only wonderful music we were treated to during Super Bowl Sunday.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
We decided to have a songs we love to sing Monday.
Speaker 5 (31:45):
That's what we're doing.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
Chronic lyricosist too is coming up in minutes. Makes oh
Headley Lamar looked like Hendrick, Yeah, Rick, Hendrick, Hendrick.
Speaker 13 (31:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
It was wonderfulness. Was glued to the TV. Yeah, okay,
right now, where is the love?
Speaker 6 (32:07):
Well, it's coming in four days, but right now it's
time for Oliver.
Speaker 15 (32:18):
Well.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
Well, well.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
It's that time of year again.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Spring is about to be sprung. Love is in the air,
and a woman's fancy turns to thoughts of how she's
going to soak her man out of every spaed diamon
in his pocket. That's right, it's Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day
(32:46):
is a scam, a holiday created by and four women,
just like every other holiday. Why if there's a chance
to score some sort of gift by merely turning the
calendar page. Brother, you can vet your sweet life. A
(33:06):
woman will find it. She can't get inside your head,
so she does the next best thing. She gets into
your wallet. And it's painful to say, but the depth
of her love is only as deep as your pockets.
(33:28):
And Valentine's Day is the perfect example why time was
a beautiful card with thoughts of it deepest love and
devotion would bring a tear to her beautiful eyes. But today,
if you give her just a card, there'll be no tears,
(33:49):
whether it's hallmarker or not. Her eyes will only show
the fires of unspeakable rage and seething hatred for all
things men.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
And they'll be staring right at you.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
It used to be that a single simple red rose
was a blessed gesture of honest, heartfelt emotion that said
I love you. Now all it says is I'm a cheap,
good for nothing sob who never gave a tinker's damn
about you, and who no doubt gave the remaining eleven
(34:26):
roses to my other women, who, by the way, also
think I'm a cheap loser and a smelly.
Speaker 13 (34:34):
So and so.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Ah, the language of flowers, sweets for the sweet. Once
upon a time, a box of delicious gourmet candy was
the perfect key to your darling's heart. But now you're
just trying to make her fat, fat and unattractive, even
(35:00):
more than she is right now. And if you don't
give her candy, then you must think she's too fat already.
Speaker 8 (35:10):
And as much as you try.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
To explain, you can't win.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
So don't even try. Just nod and say you're right,
you are too fat. She's gonna clabber you one way
or the other. You might as well get a chuckle
out of it. Nowadays women want the world diamond tennis bracelets,
(35:35):
Caribbean cruises.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
And sports cars.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
It's what those stupid television commercials have led her to expect.
Always showing guys ten times better looking than you, lavishing
expensive gifts on girls you'll never be able to get.
The difference is as you stare at your television, you
(35:59):
realize that what you're looking at is pure fiction because
you're a man. But as she lays there on the sofa,
like she does most of the day every day, wearing
those same old sweatpants with the thighs worn thin by
numerous trips to the refrigerator, her hair a massive matted
(36:24):
rats nest, and the smoldering filter of her fifty third
cigarette of the morning hanging from the corner of her
cracked lips. She watches the exact same commercial you saw,
but she sees the two of you, and if he
(36:46):
can give those sports cars and cruises and bracelets to her,
you should be able to do it too. Welcome to
the warped, delusional mind of every woman in the world.
So men, do yourself a favor, not only this Valentine's Day,
but every holiday. Call her bluff, ignore her, give her nothing,
(37:15):
not even the time of day, or she'll be upset,
perhaps even angry, possibly violent. Maybe she'll even leave. But
as the old saying goes, if you love something, set
it free. If it comes back to you, think of
the money you've saved. And if it doesn't return, you'll
(37:40):
have absolutely no problem replacing that greedy, loud mouthed, trouble
making old bag with another one exactly like her.
Speaker 8 (37:58):
Good more than everybody to big shall is right here
on the radio.
Speaker 18 (38:04):
Saves me.
Speaker 8 (38:04):
Praised You're lifted.
Speaker 18 (38:06):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated to smile on
your face and a song in your heart as long
as you buying their Bloody gri Lill and Sauce, John
Boy and Billy on the Big Show, Faith and Begora,
(38:55):
Good Morning.
Speaker 6 (38:56):
Makes Shows on the radio, Dodgy National hang Over Monday.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
What a coincidence it falls right after the super Bowl.
Huh you're thinking about that?
Speaker 6 (39:12):
Love me God?
Speaker 4 (39:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (39:13):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 6 (39:14):
More from our wonderful album chronic Lyricoses too, people.
Speaker 7 (39:21):
Can you feel it?
Speaker 18 (39:23):
Loves in my Heart?
Speaker 11 (39:26):
People?
Speaker 7 (39:26):
Can you feel it?
Speaker 11 (39:27):
No?
Speaker 9 (39:27):
No, no, no, Loves in my Heart love everywhere.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
I gave new movie Loves in my.
Speaker 8 (39:35):
Love is everywhere. I love man.
Speaker 18 (39:38):
I love this.
Speaker 12 (39:39):
Chronic lyricosis. It can strike anyone at any age. It's
victims think they know the lyrics to popular songs, completely
unaware that they're completely clueless.
Speaker 8 (39:51):
Bring Me and I Heard Long, Bring Me and I Long.
Speaker 9 (39:58):
Iron No, no, no, it's in an accident. No, it's
a long higher loan.
Speaker 12 (40:05):
Chronic Lyricosis strikes its victims without warning, but it also
takes a terrible toll on friends and loved ones.
Speaker 8 (40:11):
Taking carrot biscuits every day?
Speaker 13 (40:14):
What bacon carrot biscuits.
Speaker 5 (40:17):
Making you wears making carrot biscuits.
Speaker 8 (40:20):
Hey, it's all.
Speaker 10 (40:21):
Right, making cart biscuits and waiting on a pipe.
Speaker 7 (40:26):
Look, no, no, take it?
Speaker 9 (40:27):
Hey, hey, hey, taking care of business?
Speaker 6 (40:30):
Shut out.
Speaker 5 (40:33):
I understand them.
Speaker 8 (40:35):
Back in the Jesus.
Speaker 13 (40:37):
I don't care if it gets me hard.
Speaker 8 (40:40):
No people living in constipation?
Speaker 5 (40:45):
How longest to have on bees up?
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Piece of mine?
Speaker 8 (40:55):
I know, I'm sure I'm lod it.
Speaker 12 (40:58):
There's make sure yet, But there is hope. Who was
search funded by your gifts to the American Chronic Lyricosis Society.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
Home Michosa Tony dance, what calt the head lies down?
Speaker 11 (41:13):
And hallwe.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
What lazer Donna?
Speaker 1 (41:19):
Sheet leaner?
Speaker 8 (41:21):
No, no, no, no sheets of Leonard. No business today.
You got it all wrong. I'm fairly tough man.
Speaker 5 (41:30):
No tiny dance.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
It's not a tiny dance. It's tiny dancer.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
Got the head lies down?
Speaker 6 (41:42):
Marbll some day monkey play piano song, play piano song.
Speaker 9 (41:51):
No, No, it's something it's French French monkey.
Speaker 12 (41:58):
Say your tax deductable contribution to the American Chronic Lyricosis Society.
Nine to fifteen East Forth Street, Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 7 (42:06):
Two eight two oh four. Hurry an idiot, maybe waited
all that.
Speaker 5 (42:11):
Two chickens to peril, raw shoes, pack a bag.
Speaker 9 (42:16):
Of leaves tonight.
Speaker 13 (42:17):
I've got two.
Speaker 5 (42:19):
Chickens to par la. Raw juice.
Speaker 10 (42:22):
Pack a bath of leaves tonight.
Speaker 8 (42:25):
Chickens parrel life.
Speaker 5 (42:37):
Yeah no
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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