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August 25, 2025 39 mins

Monday (pt 2 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll explore a series of letters from one of our “captivated” fans who has plenty of time on his hands, so he’s been working on a big party for Richard Petty, aka: the King.. - Carl Childers tells the story of the Legend of Tarzan - from his perspective.. - We’ll fill a request for Tim Wilson’s “Uncle B.S.”.. - and we’ll lock up with Oliver addressing an unhappy karaoke contestant…

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Good morning.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
This is a Big Show on the radio, rolling through you, Monday,
August twenty fifth. Our feature track Win the Big Show
bit Box. Oliver response to the loser of the karaoke
contest s's your keywords? Contest loser, you hit the bit
box at the Big Show dot com right now, says he.
If we can get us a contest winner, beat the Blade.

(00:47):
Our contestant is Mark from Lilian Alafa Bama. Good morning, Mark,
Good morning, Hey Morningyboddy. Hi Mark, welcome in here with
as well ask tatters questions, might learn something well you
agree or disagree with her answer to Belles before two
buzzers and you win, just like that boy.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Marcy.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
In America, a grieving widow would traditionally wear black. But
what color do morning Japanese women wear Japan?

Speaker 3 (01:23):
You remember that time you guys went to Japan and
then he didn't take me.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
You had to stay here and not go and get
to hear all about it.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
I would have seen that the women in Japan wear
black as well well.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
It says the Japanese women wear black as well, Mark,
But I didn't go. Yes, guess do you agree or disagree?
I would agree?

Speaker 4 (01:51):
I mean I was free to go.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
It's I wasn't She would have known. Well, we didn't
attend many funerals while.

Speaker 4 (01:57):
We were walking around.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Morgan ally fun times.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
Oh yeah, okay, I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (02:02):
It was all fun.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
By the way they wear white in Japan.

Speaker 6 (02:08):
Is all right.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I'll go to Mark.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
There's one buzzer. Let's see what we can do here, Tanner.
Let's talk about pound cake. Pound cake got its name
from the original recipe used to make it. It called
for a pound of you're going way back? Uh huh,
A pound a flour. A pound of flour in the

(02:33):
pound cake? Mark, agree or disagree?

Speaker 1 (02:38):
I disagree?

Speaker 5 (02:40):
That was the thing to do.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yes, a pound of what would you guess, Mark Tyler,
were you just messing with it?

Speaker 7 (02:46):
Sugar?

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Butter? Butter?

Speaker 5 (02:50):
But sugar is a good gas.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, some sugar owners take of muter and we'll be.

Speaker 4 (02:57):
Joining a lot of butter.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
And she's right, it does go back back away.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
The first pound cake seventeen forty seven.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Make it needs more butter?

Speaker 8 (03:08):
All right?

Speaker 2 (03:09):
By good work, we got a full count going into
the final question.

Speaker 5 (03:13):
We're cooking.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
I hope no, this is something else it Well, let's
just see what does the g in g.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
Strings and for can I call a friend Jackie je.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
A pound of butter, a grab sugar.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
Well, the G in g string, John.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Stands for girdle, girdle.

Speaker 4 (03:46):
It's a girdle string.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Girdle string, Mark, what's you know?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
So?

Speaker 1 (03:54):
I'm sorry? Did you say you disagreed with the girdle?
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree disagree? All right?

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Well, good thing you didn't take Jackie's guests.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
She's thought giant.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
It's growing, growing the strange. Well, hey mar, good work, buddy,
you win a big old prize. Back had fun while
you did.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
It, buddy, Thank you, thank you, Thank you. Bottom of
the hour, top of your news.

Speaker 2 (04:41):
On the other side, our Monday, remembering your Rayford with
a Rayna wwenty minutes. Well ex, good morning to big

(05:25):
shows on the radio. Tom of Robert D. Rayvard says
the only good thing to ever come from tobacco was
tobacco tags, and he tells what they were good for.

Speaker 7 (05:38):
Yeah, I know, you young uns, you don't know what
tobacco tags are. Were I remember them as a boy
of four or five, when we played puff tobacco tags,
These little metal tags about an inch long, either rob
long oval, circular square, or in various geometrical shapes, were
stuck onto plugs of chewing tobacco tags embedded into the

(06:01):
plug with two or three pointed little progs bent downward.
These little spikes would either be flattened out or bent off.
Little boys would collect them, find them around the cotton
mills of the country stores where farmers and farm hands gathered.
These little tags were colorful too, usually with the picture
of the brand name, like brown Mule tag was a
little brown mule, chubby little boy with his dog at

(06:23):
his side. Red fox cut out of a red fox
with a bushy tail. There's another homemade made in Stateville,
North Carolina, picture of a maid with a garden hole,
not the kind of hole you might have thought. And
to increase and decrease our collection, we'd play puff tobacco tags,
laying flat, brand side up and puff on them like

(06:43):
that hard as we could, not getting too close. Had
to have our mouths at least six inches from them,
and see if in one puff we could flip it over.
He who could flip one over got to add that
tobacco tag to his collection.

Speaker 9 (06:56):
To see.

Speaker 7 (06:57):
Even little boys like the gamble big time gamblers probably
started off as tobacco tag puffers, and then on the
playing marbles for keeps, then at school matching for pennies,
and then nichols and dimes, and on the quarters, and
then to rolling dice, and then to playing blackjack and poker.
See even back then, a little boy could get off
on the wrong track puffing tobacco tags.

Speaker 9 (07:18):
At least that's the way it was with me.

Speaker 7 (07:20):
Robert d Rafer, John Boy and Billy Show.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Good morning.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
It's a big show on the radio, and here we go.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
It's time to act.

Speaker 5 (07:56):
Like yow, what's up?

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Come to Axe?

Speaker 10 (08:01):
Iike the place to go for all the far one
one you need for all yo u uh uh what
you call.

Speaker 5 (08:06):
Intro perspirational relations?

Speaker 10 (08:08):
Shrimp sy dig this ded ike, I just got divorced
and I'm looking for a girlfriend.

Speaker 5 (08:17):
If this is signed astron NERD, I'm getting the hell
out of.

Speaker 10 (08:21):
I just got rid of a real beast this last
time and don't want to make another mistake. What kind
of girlfriend do you think I should look for?

Speaker 5 (08:28):
Thanks?

Speaker 10 (08:29):
Divorced Dave from bat Cave. I have a feeling he
might be related to ASTRONRD.

Speaker 5 (08:37):
Did Dave?

Speaker 10 (08:38):
I gotta be honest, my brother. At some time or another,
they all a mistake, Like they say, no matter how
good she looks, someone is tired of putting up with
all her men.

Speaker 5 (08:50):
Now, despite what you might see.

Speaker 10 (08:51):
On them internethical ads, they ain't no perfect women's.

Speaker 5 (08:56):
If they was, they'd be men's. But you got know
you look at me like that.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Tell what the hell?

Speaker 5 (09:06):
Boot your boot puppets.

Speaker 10 (09:09):
But I'll tell you, Dave, you can narrow it down
a little and work with them, annihilating them perfections later on,
let me preach on it.

Speaker 5 (09:16):
Now.

Speaker 10 (09:17):
Here's the different types of girlfriends that I personally have
come across me. Is nice guy says stuff like tickets
to the wet t shirt contest for me, Oh, darling,
you shouldn't have. Also known as the doormat advantages, always happy,
nice to your friends. Lets you call the shots in

(09:39):
the boudoir. Disadvantages. She might wise up some days. Old
yeller says stuff like you low down, spineless, good for nothing,
drag ass, no talent, sob, can't you see your.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
Ruining my life?

Speaker 10 (09:56):
Also known as the Hillary advantages. Pays attention to you,
disadvantages pays attention to.

Speaker 5 (10:09):
The patient.

Speaker 10 (10:11):
Says stuff like, oh, my head, my feet, my crambs,
my cell, your light, I'm so cold? What's that bright light?
Also known as prognosis negative advantages, predictable disadvantages, contagious The

(10:35):
voss says stuff like stand up straight, put on a
different tie, get a hair cut, change your job, make
more money.

Speaker 5 (10:43):
Don't give me that look. There's a whole lot more there.
Also known as the sage disadvantages. Often right.

Speaker 10 (10:59):
The whiner says stuff like turn up the heat, I'm cold.
Do we have to watch this channel? This tile's too scratchy.
Also known as the buzz killer advantages, easily soothed disadvantages,
even easier to piss off. Wild woman says stuff like

(11:25):
let's get drunken dude in the front lawn.

Speaker 5 (11:27):
I did that last week with your brother. Also known
as john.

Speaker 10 (11:35):
Girl advantages a lot of fun disadvantages, drives off clips
and shoot squirrels at the bus stop?

Speaker 1 (11:47):
What I said that for?

Speaker 8 (11:48):
Man?

Speaker 5 (11:51):
The bitch tATu Jack you want to leave the room
when we.

Speaker 10 (11:54):
Talk about says stuff like I don't see anything funny
about that. Your friends bring out their than you. I'm
better than you, I'm smarter than you, I'm richer than you.
Also known as Nancy Pelosi advantages, your friends will feel
sorry for you. Disadvantages You ain't gonna have no damn friends.

(12:16):
Oh the chowhoun says stuff like you gonna eat that.
I'm gonna make another run at the ribs? Who ate
all the ice cream? Oh that's right idea, also known
as the land shark advantages, never have to clean out
the fridge disadvantages, spend a whole lot of money on baking.

(12:41):
And finally, the dream girl says stuff like, I am
totally happy when you just the way you are, my
handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think it's time for
us to get busy till we get dizzy, also known
as Hello gorgeous advantages, The perfect woman disadvantages. She ain't

(13:02):
gonna have a damn.

Speaker 5 (13:03):
Thing to do with. So that's the list.

Speaker 10 (13:07):
Dave my brother pick one and have it as long
as she heats up to Viennas and keeps that great
punker in stock.

Speaker 5 (13:13):
You on the right track.

Speaker 10 (13:14):
And remember, if it don't work out, your foot they're
ass is some assembly required.

Speaker 5 (13:20):
This is I peace out.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
You're the ice like mail The IX, John Boynvilly and
the Pillbox seventy six sixty three, Charlotte, don't see two
eight two four one.

Speaker 5 (13:30):
All right, let the bitches back in the room now,
good morning.

Speaker 2 (13:35):
The Big show's on the radio, and more big show
right around the corner.

Speaker 11 (13:40):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listen to John Boyd and Billy and they're
big show. I like the way they talk.

Speaker 12 (13:49):
They're funny ha ha, not funny queer, that's what they say.

Speaker 11 (13:55):
Anyhow, I've figured out what John boy had a hard
time getting started in the morning.

Speaker 12 (14:00):
Ain't gotten a gage.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Good Monday morning. There's a big shon on the radio.
Wait minute, Old Bradshold, I'm gonna wear Jack says. Aunt
Peggy is on the line. Hello, Hello, Hello, Aunt Peggy.

Speaker 8 (14:52):
Hello, Yes, is my crazy neph You've been bothering your
boys again.

Speaker 9 (14:58):
Just Bradshaw's pen pals.

Speaker 8 (15:00):
I started paying his cellmate to beat the tar. I
taught him less. He didn't break his hands like I
thought he would. Well, I apologize, that's all right, he
wanted to. I wanted to pay him for the for
the beating, but he said, oh law, I wouldn't know
what to charge for something like this. I think secretly

(15:25):
he's been wanting to beat him since they since they
moved in together. Well, I've gotta go. I've got grandpa.
Charlie steaked out in the yard.

Speaker 7 (15:35):
Morning.

Speaker 5 (15:37):
Wat's lucky you and yours good morning.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
I got the bags on the radio.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Back party for the King Monday, and says the second first,
tell you what you can win. If you can win,
wordy word, me and Tyl will give us some teams
here in a minute and play for an assortment of
swag from World Lawn Mowers is the best value zero
turned moores on the market, with a three year, unlimited
hours already commercial grade Kawasagi Engines, heavy dutey fabricated decks

(16:03):
starting at just thirty two nine to nine World Lawn
tup on grass, easy on your Walley'd look for the
length when you hit the Big show dot com. Hey, right,
remember the letters from the prisoner wanted to give King
surprise birthday party and give a million dollars. Wanted us
to help him do that. You know, it was his
idea for me to race Tanya Hardy.

Speaker 6 (16:24):
That's correct.

Speaker 5 (16:25):
That and how about that?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
And earlier this week it came out Tony said she
wanted to drive Winston Cup. So this got might been
a little bit ahead of his time.

Speaker 13 (16:31):
Maybe it looks like she's moving along a little quicker
in her career than you as far as racing.

Speaker 9 (16:35):
Now, so you got another letter from.

Speaker 6 (16:38):
Him, now, yeah, this was a little different. He starts
out in this one.

Speaker 5 (16:42):
How many pages?

Speaker 2 (16:43):
That looks like about seven pages front in file pages.

Speaker 6 (16:47):
Well, I tried to make it real.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
Brand in the Unibomber territory.

Speaker 13 (16:50):
At this point, there's just a couple of things he
said to you and Billy, and then I've got a
summarize real quick.

Speaker 11 (16:55):
All right.

Speaker 13 (16:56):
He wanted to thank y'all for sending him to the
emergency room. All he wanted to do was surprised the
king on his birthday. We sent in the room and
he said, y'all didn't write it. Well, his roommate beat
him up. He's watching the bud Pole on his TV.
His roommate said it was his TV. Tried to charge
me watch it. He wouldn't pay me and got beat up.

Speaker 5 (17:13):
Oh we're sorry.

Speaker 6 (17:14):
Going at the hospital.

Speaker 13 (17:17):
Uh, y'all didn't write him back, and now he's steaming inside.

Speaker 5 (17:22):
That's not good.

Speaker 6 (17:23):
Yeah, and uh, you know, because of all the fun
you made him on the radio.

Speaker 13 (17:26):
Nobody wants to help him again.

Speaker 10 (17:30):
We're sorry you got.

Speaker 13 (17:36):
You know you wouldn't you wouldn't give him a million
dollars to surprise the King on the sixty fifth birthday.

Speaker 6 (17:40):
And you call yourselves Nascar mans.

Speaker 13 (17:46):
Those guys are to Uh, he said, can you just
please stop messing up his party for a change. These
are just direct quotes from I got just a few here,
then I get leave you long here. Tany never wrote
him back because of y'all, and it is old letter
changes ton. He goes from being just hot as a
match to cooling off. And he apologizes and says he
all war's cars at John Boys Chevrolet for three.

Speaker 9 (18:09):
You know this sure's needs watching, So want you pick
him up?

Speaker 6 (18:11):
Running my parent? He war shorts today and he said
he can.

Speaker 13 (18:16):
He needs to help you guys and be your agent
because he's wondering if y'all have had.

Speaker 6 (18:20):
A paying gig.

Speaker 13 (18:26):
They said, y'all need to look past your horizons from
sea to shining sea.

Speaker 3 (18:30):
Right right.

Speaker 6 (18:31):
I mean he's he gets kind of mushy here at
the end.

Speaker 5 (18:34):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (18:34):
He can help y'all get some national recognition. You know
you're only in thirty steps.

Speaker 13 (18:37):
There's twenty more out there, boys, and he wants to
sing the ride By by David allen Coe on the radio.

Speaker 6 (18:46):
So I told him to send.

Speaker 13 (18:47):
Y'all CD and y'all play it in case the governor
doesn't let him out. Actually, there's there's just ten things
here because of you and Billy and Pillars and all
of y'all in here. And these are the ten things
that have happened to him because he got beat up,
ended up in the emergency room on a backboard. He's
steaming inside. Nobody wants to help him do anything. Y'all

(19:08):
messed up his party. Tanya won't even return his phone calls.
Grandpa and Juny are at each other's throat.

Speaker 5 (19:16):
An I hadn't even heard of them.

Speaker 6 (19:20):
I got Grandpa.

Speaker 13 (19:21):
He's he turned eighty five on the first August. We'll
wish him happy birthday right here to to remember to do.

Speaker 5 (19:26):
That, Mushy.

Speaker 13 (19:30):
You know the king didn't have his party, and you
know he's now he's not communicating with him. Ain't Peggy
who Pillers? She's hot as a match. Y'all make fun
of her call? Remember called her number?

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Uh?

Speaker 13 (19:42):
So we've got his aunt Peggy's number, and now we've
got uncle h granddaddy Charlie kid all right, got his
phone number two if y'all to give them call. The
governor will not pardon him now because of y'all, and
everybody thinks he's crazy.

Speaker 6 (19:55):
Hello, look at the.

Speaker 13 (19:57):
Marriage her and happy eighty fifth birthday to Charlie kill
from David.

Speaker 6 (20:01):
That's what was his main ranger for the letter.

Speaker 14 (20:03):
All right, A lot of time, a lot of time.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
Well, y'all, come on, let's play us, and I'm worry,
worry why we're hot one eight hundred, big show. You
told free line, Get a couple of contestants and play next.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, oh, you'll be a good game.

Speaker 14 (20:52):
I just nailed my left.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
Handed no loop shot and the trash can jack all right,
I could get.

Speaker 15 (21:00):
Plus he's wearing his Lucky Coral T shirt, so that's
a good too.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Without further ado, Yeah, I'm for your whip playing.

Speaker 12 (21:13):
Everybody's head about that bad word A word, a word,
the word.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Let's meet our contestants. Well, we have us a friendly game.
We got Houston from Greenville, South Carolina. Good morning Houston,
Good morning morning, Hey Morny. We got Rob from Jacksonville.
North Carolina. Good morning, Rob.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Hello, Hello, oh some boys, welcome in here.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
All right, Tanyer, you take Rob, I'll take the sad lapper.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Me on Holston to go correct.

Speaker 15 (21:45):
And if anyone's on a hands free or speakerphone, now's
the time too.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Okay, yeah, somebody on the speakerphone, don't do it because
it blocks out.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
That's the clock.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
Terrible ever been set?

Speaker 5 (22:01):
Trust us?

Speaker 2 (22:02):
All right, three letter words, boys, we're dealing with three
letter words, so trying to keep that in your.

Speaker 4 (22:08):
Head, and you think it's tasty.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
We go through some all right, houstin see what.

Speaker 5 (22:13):
We can do.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
You ready, buddy, Yeah, I am all right starting to clock.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
Now this is on your face and was also the
name of the shark. Leave off the as Yeah, okay,
I blank the pancake place.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
I uh huh okay.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
In baseball, you try to get a no with a
bat the ball, yes.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yes, okay. A chicken, a female chicken is an uh huh.
You chew this chewing gum, uh huh. You will put
this in your hair?

Speaker 16 (22:50):
Kill?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
Yeah, all right, good work, HOSTI put a six on
the board, and now Rob and Tater in your hair?

Speaker 1 (23:04):
You ready?

Speaker 3 (23:05):
Rob?

Speaker 4 (23:05):
Three letters?

Speaker 1 (23:07):
Ready?

Speaker 8 (23:08):
God?

Speaker 1 (23:08):
On and go.

Speaker 4 (23:10):
You get this shot right about now? The blank shot blue?

Speaker 15 (23:15):
Yep, chickens, ladies, Hey, this is the color. It's blank
white and blue.

Speaker 11 (23:24):
Red.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
A baby dog is a what?

Speaker 1 (23:28):
A single?

Speaker 4 (23:29):
One?

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yep? Who?

Speaker 2 (23:31):
Who?

Speaker 4 (23:32):
Who says the what?

Speaker 1 (23:34):
The bird? No?

Speaker 12 (23:36):
Who do?

Speaker 10 (23:36):
Who?

Speaker 7 (23:37):
Who?

Speaker 8 (23:40):
No?

Speaker 14 (23:40):
He's big and.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Oh god has the buzzer?

Speaker 2 (23:45):
All right, so let me say you find the show
had a four on the board.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
All right, it is six to four after round one.
Here we go hosting to see what we do for two?
Are you ready?

Speaker 8 (24:02):
Yep?

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Okay, start the clock? Now? Who who says the owl?

Speaker 3 (24:06):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (24:06):
Huh okay?

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Sometimes I feel like huh sometimes I don't.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
You eat an almond or a pe? Yeah? All right?

Speaker 2 (24:17):
You play in this a blank puddle when you're a kid.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah, uh huh okay.

Speaker 3 (24:23):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
The Abraham's brother and there's like an acre you buy
a piece of land.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
It's a little why acre?

Speaker 3 (24:31):
No?

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Why?

Speaker 11 (24:32):
Why?

Speaker 6 (24:32):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Uh huh you're next of h bam Ma. You put
him on that one, right, Babby? Alright? Pup six five.
That's eleven score.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
For me in all shun and now Taya and Rob
seven will tie this thing up.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
And force over time. Three yes, three letter words. Rob ready,
go little around.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
What it's like a jar, a blink band, a blink
of milk. She's got she's got big, she's got big ones.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
They call them one.

Speaker 14 (25:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:13):
All right, this is what's in a pen. You're right
with it.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yep.

Speaker 11 (25:19):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
This is what you do when you don't sing out loud.
You just kind of walk around in hum.

Speaker 15 (25:24):
You work out in this building, Jim you uh, this
is a coat made out of an animal.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
All right, Well that was a good little but yeah,
haws Wens is eleven to nine.

Speaker 14 (25:39):
All right, Sorry, I had a big like a guy.
I'm sorry about that.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Man hawzing you about jeling high?

Speaker 5 (25:47):
Rob all the way you.

Speaker 9 (25:48):
Get drugs, John boy, yeah, John boy?

Speaker 16 (25:52):
And if I can one second, yeah, just just because
you would you like to come over on my plate
for up tasting a glass of wine?

Speaker 4 (26:04):
Wow, he got.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Musty arms, all right?

Speaker 2 (26:11):
Man?

Speaker 12 (26:12):
All right?

Speaker 2 (26:12):
Boys and Jordas I I hain't on. We'll give me
shot down the road.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
Houston. You got the big old prize back of work.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Buddy, good morning, got the big show on the radio.
Bire request time, Kim Daring and Thomasson of a Raymond,
Mississippi Kim says, I request Uncle B as my boys said,
it helped them pass history. I can't you got it
coming up next, all right? They request time put this

(27:11):
over of the John Boy and Billy Facebook Paine, my
god girl, Kim down Raymond, Mississippi in some history over
the years with Uncle B S. Now, ladies and gentlemen,
let's meet one of Jim's family members, Uncle B S.

Speaker 9 (27:25):
So you ever have that relative in your family.

Speaker 16 (27:27):
Everybody's got that relative in their family just lives like
a dollar. You don't even believe they're a relative to
get say paperwork on it. That an uncle his name
was Benford Smith. Wilson called him Uncle B. S. Yeah,
he's one of those kind of guys that just smell good,
you know what I mean. You ever seen those guys
that hang around wymcas, those hotel wimcas, you know, and

(27:48):
and they looked like they were fought in a war somewhere.
But they're real pale, got arms that are pale, and
they drive like a sixty eight in Palla, you know,
and they button they wear a T shirt, you know,
and carry around a little duffel bag with shaven stuff.
You know, we're vitalis and the hair the smell real good.
Kind of like that James Earl Ray Phil you know
what I mean. They could be on a rooftop with

(28:08):
a rifle somewhere any minute.

Speaker 9 (28:11):
But anyway, that kind of guy, and he'd lie like
a dog.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
What about like Uncle b s h Where were you
November twenty second, nineteen sixty three, No vemb me get.

Speaker 9 (28:20):
Twenty second nineteen sixty three. Let me thank a second Actuiday.
Everybody's supposed to remember where they was.

Speaker 16 (28:28):
I'd working at a school buck depository in Dallas, touch
it Hawking in Mythland had just come out with that
new math and they had.

Speaker 9 (28:36):
Them real that math books.

Speaker 16 (28:38):
And it's hard to pick your math buck boxes up
by yourself. And I told them, y'all got to get
some many there to help me with these dad gum boxes.
And they hired a fella named Lee's huh, I can't
think of his name. He been in the Marine corn
I of course, in the Navy for five years. He
kept bragging about what a great shot your Marine Corps was,
as opposed to your navel for says, I said, I

(28:59):
tell you you what, you little pink cold communist, This
afternoon at lunch, I want you to go back to
your boarding house and bring back your rifle. I got
two tickets to the Texas Theater.

Speaker 9 (29:10):
Says you can't hit that man hole.

Speaker 5 (29:12):
Cover it down there by.

Speaker 16 (29:12):
That grassy know you know he cracked off four shots.
Damn for President of the United States. Didn't happen to
drive by at that exact moment.

Speaker 9 (29:21):
We felt bad about that.

Speaker 5 (29:28):
Uncle Bea.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Do you remember where you were? December twenty fourth, one
hour BC.

Speaker 9 (29:34):
They send me your twenty fourth one on our base.

Speaker 16 (29:38):
Working as a part time night desk clerk Bethle of Hem, Israel.
Please call the north Star Motor Launch. We's buked up
out the rear end. I'm trying to get my Caesar's
consensus for him filled out and stuck a.

Speaker 9 (29:52):
Coke machine all at the same time up to my
button night, Doctor Pepper.

Speaker 16 (29:58):
Some gartner strolls in the pregnant wife, a tired mule
and a bad attitude, trying to strong arm men to
throw in two Roman soldiers out of room one oh seven.

Speaker 9 (30:09):
I told him, Jesus christ Man, we're in the Papa
Place in.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Huncle bas What about June seventeenth, nineteen ninety four, Junior seventeenth,
nineteen ninety four, carpet cleaner, Los Angeles, California.

Speaker 9 (30:27):
I'm in the parking law the pole lace lab over there, vacuum.

Speaker 16 (30:30):
And gunpowder and some sweater lamp and some two pay
hair out of a menenda's throw rug.

Speaker 9 (30:36):
Hunked my button, strawberry shortcake and shotgun shell Onden.

Speaker 16 (30:41):
Two black fellows drive up in the white Bronco from
hurts runna car. I want to know how you get
bloodstains out of a steak knife, a driveway and a
pair of Converse tennisit. I told that good looking when
I said, go home and ask you wife if she's
got two leather gloves and a bottle of chloroe.

Speaker 9 (31:01):
Sorry, white boy to go out there on his knees
and scrubbed that thing up. Yeah, it's just history day today.
It's history day. Hey, I got a historical note for you.

Speaker 16 (31:14):
Thomas Edison, of course, worked twenty four hours a day,
never stopped, never slept, stayed in the laboratory, bill, never stopped,
never slept. A lot of people don't know it, but
missus Thomas Edison later invented the vibrator, and she never
stopped never slept. If Edison had known when he invented
the record player in the movie Cameras Gonna turn it
into Kirk Cobain and Nirvana.

Speaker 9 (31:34):
He said, forget it, I'll fix the toaster. Kirk Cobain.
You gotta figure he's right.

Speaker 16 (31:42):
Up there with Kat o'kalan as a waste of humanity.
I mean, here's a guy that couldn't play, couldn't sing,
never could deal with the fact they were paying him
to do it. Of course I don't play her sing
very well either, but you know Chris Christofferson didn't and
he's on Disney Channel this one.

Speaker 9 (32:00):
Here's a great singer, boy, Chris, why me, Lord?

Speaker 16 (32:04):
What did I I don't know, Chris, what did you?
Dylan honeys honey and great singers say morning Mima king'k
is shied off of mean, yeah.

Speaker 9 (32:30):
You can't touch this. Never heard country people do that.
You can't touch them.

Speaker 16 (32:38):
No, you can't touch them. If a country gal would
come out with that, people would want. That's dumb, to legit,
to quit, to quit, to look tula is that transactional?

Speaker 9 (32:57):
In England? Baby got back, Baby got Back?

Speaker 16 (33:05):
And of course won't there it is, won't there.

Speaker 9 (33:16):
It's a j thing.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah, there wasn't thinking out what was on the Big
Show this morning? Good morning, it's a big show on

(33:51):
the radio and Olivers are featured track from the Big Show.
Bit box for us keywords contest loser.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
See what I got here.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Dear John Boy, I'm writing to let you know the
results of the singing contests last night at the Rose.
First off, two girls tied for first, and now you
will have both of them on your show. You may
remember me from the night you judged the contest. I
sang Whole Lot of Love by Zeppelin. The winners of
that contest won because they have something I don't boobs,

(34:20):
John Boy. If the contest had been close, I would
have no problem saying they won. But last night I
absolutely nailed one of the greatest and best vocal songs
in the history of rock. The other two did some
lame country crap that hardly anyone knows. On top of that,
they didn't do it very well. Sorry, but that's the truth.
I absolutely, hands down crushed them. But to lose just
because of being a man, I think that would take

(34:42):
just about anyone off. Give his initials a w huh, Oliver.

Speaker 5 (34:51):
Aw, how appropriate.

Speaker 10 (34:54):
Ah, well, well, well for claiming to have lost because
you were a man, you sure do lose like a girl.
Not just a girl, but a little girl, a little

(35:16):
squealing girls. So far, the only thing you haven't done
is stomp your feet and scream mommy. They won because
they had boobs. Nonsense. That one hot little potato that
sang win beneath my Wings had the hottest rack in

(35:39):
the pack in a kaboosta match. But she chose to
sing a song about dying from that movie Beaches to
a guy. That's the equivalent of her taking off her
shirt to reveal a thick layer of coarse brown hair
all over her upper body. Hooters didn't save her from
the axe pally, you say, the girls who once sang

(36:02):
some lame country crap that no one has ever heard of,
No one that is, except all the rednecks in the
room and most importantly, the judges. Next time, it might
be smart to sing something a little less played than
a song that you have to hear thirty five thousand
times a day thanks to unimaginative programmers on classic rock stations.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
You know who you are.

Speaker 5 (36:31):
Other guys lost, didn't see them throw a hissy fit.

Speaker 10 (36:35):
Even that little Faye Asian guy in the lavender jacket
that sang that falsetto and did all those leftover pips choreographies.
And that big Italian guy that looked like Danny Iello
and sang like someone put his throat in a blender.

Speaker 5 (36:51):
He lost it.

Speaker 10 (36:51):
He didn't threaten to whack anyone. That funny black guy
that sang off key and danced on the chair didn't.
He didn't snap hiss in anyone's face and yell b
arch and accuse anyone of dissing him or be player hating.
And there you stand, a chubby, little white guy saying
he knows what it's like to be a black man

(37:13):
in the sixth the nerve, Well, I guess you have
to play the race card when the rest of your
hands sucks so bad. Surely a person of your talent
and ability will find other opportunities.

Speaker 5 (37:29):
After all, you've.

Speaker 10 (37:30):
You've worked sixteen years building a name for yourself. I
just wonder how smart it was to put all your
talented eggs in one basket. I saw the semi finals,
and I find it hard to believe that you've been
waiting your whole life for the day where you could
put your fate in the hands of a washed up
has been actor, a sports jock on a five AM station,

(37:55):
a barkeep with a great big.

Speaker 5 (37:57):
Head, and John Boy way to go genius.

Speaker 10 (38:08):
And if you still think you're such hot stuff, there's
always the Gong Show. Sounds like you use those sour
grapes to make a great, big bottle of Goollie wine.

Speaker 9 (38:23):
With an h.

Speaker 5 (38:23):
Get it.

Speaker 17 (38:27):
Big Boxes Here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine.

Speaker 9 (38:32):
Buy them once, play them anywhere.

Speaker 17 (38:34):
You can shop the Big Box online right now at
the Big Show dot Com ord a Big Show Stuff
I phone. The number is eight hundred and four to
seven one Stuff Online services by Anemic dot Com.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?

Speaker 2 (38:45):
You can hear it all the John Boy Milling Late
Risers podcast up next. Wherever you get your podcast, make
it easy. Subscribe to us with a free I Hard
Radio out I Love You mean It

Speaker 11 (39:00):
And
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Hosts And Creators

Billy James

Billy James

Johnny "John Boy" Isley

Johnny "John Boy" Isley

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