October 9, 2025 • 41 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Married Man scores with Honey Bunny - well - sort of.. - Cookie season is over for the Girl Scouts - just in time for us to get our hands on a list of their rejected flavors.. - It’s Cadbury’s birthday but the Tailor gets the presents.. - Doug Rice has this week’s On Track racing report as he and packs up and heads out for the city that never sleeps - Las Vegas.. - We’ll fill a request for “Little Miss Kiss My Butt”.. - We’ll call over to Red Hot Talent Agency for an update on Murray’s nephew, Sherman…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Gulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boyn Billy right here on
the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear the
Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
(01:01):
Do you know what the Russ says?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, I guess alright, let's ease in this Thursday morning.
Everybody a right. If we got the e's and part done, see,
we're gonna do. Oh, We're gonna have some fun.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Later on we get to catch up with our man
Doug Rise And was there the rovol Race Charlom Motor
Speedway watching my boys v. G Win, the fifth road
race in a row. It was like some of us
race car drivers, it's just something that we have a
natural night for It's a gift. You can't really take
(01:42):
take credit for it. You gotta save you and the
mic save your tires. That's what I was trying to
get to. So see if we can get around to that,
then all right, Okay, I ain't waiting on y'all. I'm
a laugh. Bench Shows on the radio, Good Morning, Big
Shows on the Radio. Hunting Season boys as happy herd time,
(02:06):
we got our first prize back A happy herd this
morning they make top quality of tracting some minerals and
feed for deer, bear and hogs. Even I using happy herd,
you better hope your neighbors aren't as where they going.
Click on a happy herd banner the Big Show dot
com in or coach JBB you get tempersent off a checkout.
Do three days in history where we got our three
(02:27):
categories and get that winning beginning all right. Eighteen fifty eight,
the first mail service by stage coach between San fran
and Saint Louis began. It took twenty three days four
hours to make the trip.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
How anything important about the.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
About takes that much time? Now you know they're raising
the postage again this year at Christmas time?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Oh really? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
I figure it must be to pay storage.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
What is it now? I can't remember everything I said.
Now goes by weight something like that one stamp go
for storage? Yeah? Move up to nineteen forty six, Americans
were introduced to electric blankets for the first time. The
(03:17):
electrified cover sold for about forty bucks. Right, that was
expensive in forty six. Finally, in twenty three, a world
record was set for the heaviest pumpkin a jack o'
lantern gord, weighing two thousand, seven hundred forty nine pounds.
You know Travis Genger from Anoka, Minnesota, NAS. Yeah, he
(03:41):
said he got six hundred and eighty seven piles out
of it.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Like the way you think you don't want to eat
a punkin that big all at once.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
There's a categories one eight hundred big shows. You told
free line, come on play out burst next.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Morning.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
It's a big show on the radio. Let's look did
our feature track this morning? All right? Our agent Murray
Sherman's big TV idea Lo sherm idea man keyword, big
idea in the big box at the big show dot com.
Speaker 6 (04:44):
Upburst, Let's be upburst.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
John Boy Billy give the.
Speaker 7 (04:53):
Prizes from the big prize.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Let's go contest the number one this shi.
Speaker 7 (05:00):
It be a lot of fun playing uppers. Have them
Mary up and guest.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Time you love the best time you love a big shot.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Say hey a Bennie from Faville on North Carolina.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
We shot morning, Benny wail up.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh right man, that like we all awake, So let's
just get you that prize pack. What you say, brother,
five seconds? Give us three things sent through the mail, ready.
Speaker 9 (05:45):
To go, build magazine, gift court.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Now we need three kinds of blankets ready to go.
Speaker 9 (06:00):
Quilty maybe electric.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I like it, Ben it for the wind, Three things
made with punkin ready to go.
Speaker 9 (06:14):
Punkin pie, punkin bread. Don't I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Getting pumping spies since that time of the year. Benny,
you did it, buddy. I can't wait to send you
out prize back over to Fanville.
Speaker 10 (06:29):
I may, I mean Jackie and Taylor.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
I can I give a quick shout out for.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You, of course you can.
Speaker 11 (06:39):
I want to give it to my wife for forty
two years, been fighting cancer for the last few months
and beating it fast.
Speaker 9 (06:46):
Thank you Lord.
Speaker 11 (06:48):
But I just want to just give her a shout
out and want to get another forty out of her
if I can.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Benny, her was her first name, family, all right, Pamilya.
I wanted to get that out there for the praying,
big show people. We appreciate you being good, buddy. I'm
glad you want man. You hang on and Jackie's gonna
hook you up.
Speaker 9 (07:09):
Okay, Yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
All right, boy, why buy him Onny Hour, top of
your news on the other side of our time caps
over by early morning rising. You're gonna a laugh on it.
October nine.
Speaker 12 (07:57):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 13 (08:13):
Thank you, John Boy, you're well. Good morning everybody. It's
mister Rubarb here for some heme, Good morning, mister, Good.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Morning, Randy.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Say you bye for Hume.
Speaker 13 (08:26):
Does your wife know you're wearing her shoes?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Actually?
Speaker 14 (08:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
What about the blouse?
Speaker 15 (08:33):
I laid it out last night. This is something my mother,
my mother says, you know, just like you like it?
Thanks mom, Now I'll make you laugh.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Why do termites?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I'll take that bit.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I mean, what do termites say?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
It works?
Speaker 3 (08:57):
What do they have for breakfast?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Oak meal?
Speaker 13 (09:04):
What kind of school does a carpenter go to? Boarding school?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
What are you buying? Bazooka bubblegum or something?
Speaker 13 (09:17):
No, but you know that Bazuka Joe's turtleneck that goes
up over his nose. That might be a good look
for you. That a man came round in hospital after
a serious accident. He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel
my legs. The doctor said, I know I've.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Cut your arms off. What do you call a cow
that lives in an igloo?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
An Eskie Moon.
Speaker 13 (09:46):
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off after the flash on his camera mountfunction.
What did Satan get back from the drug store? What
prints of darkness? Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
(10:12):
Why because the line was busy?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Get it? Are there blood banks in England? As you
don't know? Did you know?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I don't either, But there's a Liverpool.
Speaker 13 (10:35):
And what was on the license plate of the pickup
truck of the sheep farmer?
Speaker 12 (10:39):
What you haul?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Get it? That's a baby sheep.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
You've been buying Jeger Master again?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
No, but that's not a bad idea.
Speaker 13 (10:52):
Now, this is the story of Zeba Daiah, a farmer
who was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young laying hens called pullets, and eight or ten roosters.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Pullets got a funny thank you.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Roosters sounded kind of weird too.
Speaker 13 (11:08):
Yeah, the roosters haven't got me concentrating. It was their
job to fertilize the eggs. See when a rooster likes
a hen very very much. Well, Zeb kept careful records
in any rooster that didn't perform came out of the
starting lineup and went right into the soup pot. All
this record keeping took an awful lot of Zeb's time.
(11:31):
So Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached
them to his roosters. Now, each bell had a different tone,
so that Zeb could tell from a distance which rooster
was performing. Hit set on the porch and fill out
efficiency report.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Simply by listening to the bell.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Now, where were they working in the hotel lobby?
Speaker 13 (11:54):
You try to find a bell at six o'clock. Anyway,
Zeb's favorite rooster was Oldster, and a fine one.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
He was, too.
Speaker 9 (12:04):
Rooster.
Speaker 13 (12:05):
But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell
had not rung at all. So he went to investigate. Well,
the other roosters were chasing pullets. Bells are ringing. Well,
the pullets would hear the roosters coming and would run.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
For cover, and who can blame them?
Speaker 13 (12:24):
But to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak,
so it couldn't ring in his what beak his little
rooster lips?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
How does he go back if his mouth is full?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Shut up?
Speaker 13 (12:35):
Ring hit sneak up on a pullet, get busy and
walk on to the next one. Huh Zeb was so
proud of Brewster the Rooster that he entered him in
the County Fair, and Brewster was an overnight sensation. The
judges awarded him the no Bell Peace Prize and the
pullet Surprise Bullet Surprise, Yeah, get out, I'm getting I'm
(13:03):
mister Rubb saying I'm mister rub Hey.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
You wanna bor my blouse?
Speaker 9 (13:08):
You?
Speaker 12 (13:12):
Shawn Boy and Billy? Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Good morning.
Speaker 10 (13:45):
It's a make shaw on the radio.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
What about twenty minutes married man phone sex episode?
Speaker 6 (13:53):
A little earler.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Blood married bird? Hang over there of course, yeah, way
over this call over the hort and delberts Man.
Speaker 16 (14:08):
Hello, oh man, this heart man?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
It mad John Boy? Better here hoty man?
Speaker 16 (14:16):
Turn are you beg hey? No driving? Nose picking? N call, dragging,
boots cratching? Hee Hall looking for rom all?
Speaker 14 (14:24):
Not much?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
What's up with you?
Speaker 16 (14:26):
Oh? Got me a new girlfriend?
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Whall?
Speaker 16 (14:29):
Names jitdy? Wow?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Where do you guys meet?
Speaker 16 (14:31):
I run into her? At the food can Ah fell.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Love at the frozen food isle.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Huh No.
Speaker 16 (14:37):
When I say run into her, I mean in the
parking lot. I told her me and my partner on
the body shop and offered to fix her fender for free,
and we just kind of hit it off after that.
Speaker 13 (14:46):
Well, congratulations, heart hasn't been going No, her daddy.
Speaker 16 (14:51):
Has been sick. She just moved back home to take
care of him. He's one of them hardcore independent Baptist type.
Oh yeah, yeah, I just started. Don't like me? What
the Every time I come to pick Gdy up, he's
always asking me all kinds of questions about the Bible,
trying to trip me up. The other day he says, son,
have you spent any time studying the Bible? I said, well,
(15:11):
probably not as much as I should. Sir, he says, well,
how about reciting the ten commandments for me? And I'll
make it easy for you. You can name them in any order.
I says, ten commandments, any order. Let's see two, four
or five, nine, three eight?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Froze up a little bit.
Speaker 16 (15:33):
I tell you this here has got disaster wrote all.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Over pus already. Hear them. That reminds me what's Delbert
up to well.
Speaker 16 (15:40):
Speaking of looking at your sex relatives, Delvert has been
up in West Jefferson for the last two weeks taking
care of me.
Speaker 7 (15:47):
Ma.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh, man was wrong with me?
Speaker 16 (15:48):
Mom? Oh, she fell down hurt her knees.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh is you serious?
Speaker 16 (15:52):
No, it's just a slight spain. Doc says, she'll be
fine to come on week. But you know she's been
all alone up her since Pee Paul died and debts
some happening out around the farm.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Well, how's that going.
Speaker 16 (16:05):
Trouble with Ferdinand, this so called prize winning bull that
she bought to mate with the cows so called yeah never,
says Old Ferdinand wasn't showing no interest in his shall
we say, a work at all. So they went to
see the vet and said, what do you think of
herd to do?
Speaker 8 (16:22):
Dog?
Speaker 16 (16:22):
Give him these pills, said, make sure old Ferdinand tastes
one of these every day. Inside of a week, I
believe you see a dramatic change in his behavior. Well,
sure enough, a few days later, DoD calls back and
asks how it was going. Dever says, it's going great.
That old bull got plumb jinkye with it. After their
show took care of all the mem of Carols, busted
(16:42):
through the fence, took care of all the neighbors. Carows too. Whoa,
I says, Wow, Hey, what kind of pills did the
dog give him? Debor says, I ain't sure, but they
tasted carol like peppermint.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
To farms in such good hands.
Speaker 16 (16:59):
Oh yeah, he's Oliver a window down here. Yeah, well,
well you tell him, I said, he'll know what you mean.
I'll keep a shight up.
Speaker 10 (17:17):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
There's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 14 (17:20):
Helly, you lindsay premise here.
Speaker 17 (17:23):
When I'm on this side of the pond, I get
my daily dose of culture and edification every morning from
these two delightful lads, John Boy and Billy right here
on the big show. You know, I hate to break
it to you boys, but where I come from, you're
all Yankees.
Speaker 14 (17:39):
Who will? I thought it was Buddy.
Speaker 10 (17:46):
H Good morning, and it's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Max Tabat attention, Max Tabot at a grand view, Indiana.
Got your letter, got it right here? Of course, I
had all the letters from the US Postal Service there
was briefly turned it over to Jackie. During the anthrax
scare of twenty something like that, so mix Tabot and
(18:41):
Oh and Peggy as well as Max says. Just wanted
to let you people know how every day people appreciate
what you all do for us. We all got faces
for radio, so we have a lot of fun. You
let us win prizes and that's so cool. So I
thought I would return some John Boy, Winchester Dcal, Randy,
(19:07):
Lincoln Park Dcal, Jackie and Tater Racelets you all fight
over the rest. Love you mean it all this week
and nank you.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I picked the pink bracelet.
Speaker 10 (19:31):
Good morning, I got the be sh on the radio.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Coming up. We played John BOYD Jepardy We go. Do
we get a winner? Somebody's going to get the big
old LS Tractor prize pack includes hat, stainless steel, insulated Tumblr,
cool key Jane. You go to LS Tractor USA dot com,
find you local dealer, Larriwhite Customers, start blue and stay blue.
Hang on blaveboard a minute. Man, Yeah, I had to
come up with a good reason for married man. I
(19:54):
got one here.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Man.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It was eighteen seventy six. I don't have to go
back that far. Okay. The first two the way telephone
conversation occurred first over outdoor wires Yeah, they climbed a pole,
just like Oliver Douglas in Green Acres. All right, well
hang on, would you have any Meanwhile.
Speaker 7 (20:18):
My read man, my ried man drives around in a
minivan for him has no single wife. I'll let him
do what she says, it's about timing groove.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
Well there's a screw. Look you'll find the married man
as our story opens. Married man and Powell College buddy
heading home from work after a long, hard week. Hey,
thanks again for giving me a left home pow no
pra Bob.
Speaker 10 (20:45):
So, honey, bunny's got the minivan.
Speaker 6 (20:47):
Huh Yeah. The Neighborhood Canasta League went to Centerville for
the big Southeastern regionals. She volunteered to be the designated driver.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
How long is she going to be gone?
Speaker 6 (20:56):
Well, the finals are tonight, so winter loose. She'll be
back around the lunchtime tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh you're a bachelor.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Hey, me and some of the guys from office going
to Sporties to watch the game.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
You want to come, I don't know, I'm kind of
be Come on.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It'll be fun. You never do anything with me anymore.
Speaker 10 (21:12):
Hey, we might even make.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
A little side trip to the Kitcat Club.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
You're pervert? Is that all you ever think about?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Hey, my guy, you want to try it sometime?
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Yeah, yeah, listen, thanks, but no thanks.
Speaker 10 (21:24):
Suit yourself, give me coffee, change your mind.
Speaker 6 (21:26):
Okay, thanks again for the ride. After enjoying a zesty
lean cuisine for dinner, married man settles down in front
of the TV. Well, let's see what's on the old idiot.
Speaker 18 (21:39):
Box information not your naked dreams?
Speaker 6 (21:44):
Oh perfect, I love TV land. Hello. Oh hi Honeyboddy.
How'll the tournament go? Oh that's too bad? What do you?
Speaker 7 (22:00):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (22:00):
Woman got on tap for tonight?
Speaker 14 (22:02):
Huh?
Speaker 6 (22:03):
What's that food poisoning? Huh? Bad batch of Kung pow
chicken at the buffet? Everybody but you? Oh well, I
guess that Jenny Craig turned out to be your best
friend after all.
Speaker 14 (22:16):
Huh.
Speaker 6 (22:18):
So you're just gonna be kind of stuck there at
the hotel tonight. Huh. Gee, that's a shame. But oh
I'm just chilling in front of the TV. Yeah, honey,
could you excuse me for just a second. I've got
another call coming in. Hello, No, hello, mother Fletcher. How
are you? Oh that's a shame. We'll try soaking it
(22:43):
in some hot water. Maybe that would happen. What's that? Yes,
I was just talking to her. No, they lost. Yeah,
she's going to be back in the morning. I'll tell
her you called all right, goodbye? Hello, honey, that was
your mom. Toe is swelled up again. Yeah, that's what
I told her. Huh.
Speaker 16 (23:05):
I know.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
I wish you were here with me too. What's that?
What would I do if you were? Gee? I don't
know what. You want me to think about it and
then describe what I do and don't leave out any
juicy details. Are you asking me to do what I
(23:27):
think you're asking me to do? Well, I don't know.
I guess i'd start by turning off the TV. Hownyway?
Are you sure about this? I mean, I don't know
what to say. What? Well? Okay, what are you wearing? Really?
(23:51):
The one I gave you for your birthday? Why in
the world did you pack that for a trip to
the canasta tournament? What? Oh, it's just a fantasy. Sorry, okay,
go ahead, honey, there's the call waiting again. Excuse me
just a second. Hello, Yes, mother Fletcher? What's that? Yes,
I suppose some salt in the water might help. Yes, ma'am,
(24:13):
I'm sure the store brand kind is just as good
as Morton's. Yes, salt is salt, ma'am. Listen, it's not
that I don't want to help you, but honey, money
is calling long distance. Yes, ma'am, thank you, goodbye, Okay,
I'm back. What no, Listen, I just don't think I
can can can make nasty washty talk over the phone.
(24:34):
I just can't, just because what I don't have to
Thanks for understanding. I just what You'll do the talking
and I can can join in whenever I feel like it. Well, okay,
uh huh, uh huh. I knock on your door and
(24:58):
I'm dressed as who honey? Why would the pool man
be on the fifteenth floor of the hotel at nine
o'clock at night?
Speaker 12 (25:04):
What?
Speaker 6 (25:05):
Yes, I know what a fantasy is. Okay, I'm sorry,
go ahead, uh huh. And then what would you do? Really? Gee,
wouldn't that be a little bit awkward? It wouldn't matter
because by then you'd be totally naked. Ge whiz. What
(25:27):
would I say? Well, I guess i'd say, honey, I'm sorry,
could you hold on one more second? Hello? Yes, mother Fletcher, ma'ama,
I'm kind of in the middle of something right now,
I'll call you first thing in the morning, I promise. Okay, goodbye. Okay,
Now where were we? Oh yeah, maybe you'd like me
(25:50):
to cover you with this cup of chocolate pudding from
the mini bar and nibble on you until mother mother Fletcher.
I'm sorry, I thought you were somebody else. No, I
mean I thought you were Hello, Hello.
Speaker 16 (26:09):
Paul.
Speaker 6 (26:10):
He mistaken identity as married man's romantic moment goes swirling
down the toilet. We invite you to tune it again
for our next spring to titaning adventure, same married time,
same married channels.
Speaker 7 (26:24):
Look, you'll find them married none well worthy?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Thing is where's over?
Speaker 5 (26:31):
Well?
Speaker 2 (26:31):
All right, go, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. We need
to review yesterday's question. We found out when this was
first installed in a White House in eighteen ninety one,
President Benjamin Harrison was kind of afraid of it, kinda
He and his wife refused to use it unless a
servant activated it for him. And we talked about his
(26:53):
electricity had electric chairs, and back then he was a
little skintish. Okay, well, let's play today's John boyd Jeopardy.
Lots of familiar sayings are shortened over time. For example,
happy as a clam might sound a little half mad now,
(27:13):
but back when people said the whole phrase, it ended
with these three words, Ah, what is uh in a
pile of mud?
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Mud?
Speaker 18 (27:26):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
No, that's how slick you are. What y'all got?
Speaker 10 (27:30):
One ain't hundred?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Big show you told free line. We played John boyd
Jeopardy next, Good morning, and it's a big show on
(28:04):
the Radio five feature driving the Big Show, Big Box,
our ragin Murray Sherman's Big TV idea, keyword, big idea
when they hit the big box out of the Big
Show dot com there right now.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
Let's play yays live across America.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
It's John Boy jamming and now your host his latest
big idea.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Alarm clocks that make the.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Sound a dog makes when it's about to throw up,
because nobody can stay in.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Bed with that happening, pees John Boy, as I headed
Chris out of Stewart's Draft Virginia.
Speaker 10 (28:41):
Good morning, Chris, Good.
Speaker 19 (28:43):
Morning, John Boy, Good morning everybody.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Buddy. All right, you got the first shot out of
this morning, Chris. Let's see what you got. We're talking
about lots of familiar sayings or shortened over time, where
asaw Boy we're saying happy as a clam. It might
sound a little half big, now get it. But back
when people said the whole phrase happy as a clam,
it ended with these three words.
Speaker 19 (29:10):
Well, John boy, I gotta be honest with you. Papau
used to say this to me.
Speaker 9 (29:14):
All the time.
Speaker 19 (29:15):
I believe you who used to tell me that he
was happy as a clam at high tide.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Happy as a clam at high tide.
Speaker 10 (29:29):
Granddad knew what was up.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
That's it, man. And of course you're all white high
tide because people cannot dig clams then, so they're safe
and happy until low tide, when the breeding grounds are exposed.
Get that little clam right, That works for good point
to Chris. Good work, buddy, you got the prize pack.
Speaker 9 (29:53):
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 19 (29:54):
I just want to say, first time caller, I've been
trying to get through for many years. I love you guys,
show very much.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Awesome, Chris, Now you go water.
Speaker 9 (30:05):
I can give a shout out real quick, Yes you may.
Speaker 19 (30:08):
I'd like to give a shout out to my friends Quincy, Cameron,
Nate and Derek.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Well there you go. Appreciate you with you boys listening
to the big show.
Speaker 9 (30:19):
We appreciate it. Thank you so much, y'all.
Speaker 19 (30:21):
Y'all have a good day.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Find him on the hour and w and new fun
with Girl Scouts and Tater former Brownie.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
So good morning.
Speaker 10 (31:15):
It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
We honor a day in the history. October the ninth,
nineteen eighty three, an eighty six year old Helen Moss. So,
my sister England joined the Brownies. She's the oldest person
ever to join the girls organization.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I mean it one season, that was it.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
But we're talking about that. Yeah, Brownies were allowed to
sell Girls Scout cookies. That how you kind of made
your bones? Yeah, we did it.
Speaker 18 (31:46):
We were like, you know, a girl Scout some training.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
So we all sold the cookies and I had to
go door to door.
Speaker 18 (31:52):
Now let's take it to the office.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Your grandma sell it.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
This is too much work, man, I can tell you what.
All right, you've had some fun over the years with
Girl Scout cookies. How about this bornus top ten? Liz.
Speaker 6 (32:06):
Well, it's almost that time of year again, Girl Scout
cookie season, which means America is going to be buying
boxes of samoas and tagglongs and thin mints. And tree foils. Now,
great names like that don't just come off the top
of somebody's head. As you can imagine, for every catchy
cookie name that makes a big time there are dozens
more that actually get shot down during the brainstorming sessions,
(32:29):
such as I'm glad you asked here. They are the
top ten rejected Girl Scout cookie names number ten, Dutch
ovens number nine, reach around number eight, coconut dingleberries number seven,
(32:50):
dill holes number six, raspberry pissars number five, little drippies
number four, lemon cooters number three, skid marks number two,
numb nuts, and the number one rejected Girl Scout cookie
(33:15):
name fudge packers.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
How about monn that's amazing?
Speaker 5 (33:48):
On al radio.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
About then these celebrations began. Gentlemen's gentlemen high, No, cat, Mary,
this is gonna be the best birthday you've ever had.
Speaker 20 (34:04):
It has to be better than last year's birthday. Surprised
never been to a backshaving contest.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I didn't hear you complaining when we won, and you
healed up in no time, So quit squalkin.
Speaker 20 (34:17):
How do you tolerate me?
Speaker 16 (34:19):
Sir?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I went all out this year. Do you know the
kind of streets. I had a pulling at front row seats.
Speaker 20 (34:25):
Yes, I'd be more enthusiastic if we were at the
theater or the symphony, sir. But I can't say that
I'm abulliant to be front and center at M.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Biggins, which just happens to be the number one gentleman's
club in the truck County area.
Speaker 16 (34:40):
Sir?
Speaker 20 (34:42):
Don't you find it demeaning to yourself and these young
ladies by oogling them in a liquor saturated spectacle of
debauchery and hormonal agitation?
Speaker 6 (34:51):
Well, I might if I knew what that meant.
Speaker 18 (34:55):
I think youre.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I hope you don't mind hammerdis you're tagging along. He
doesn't get out much worries. You don't say I.
Speaker 20 (35:07):
Wouldn't mind, sir, But he's been quaffing libation after libation,
and if you don't mind my saying, he seems to
be becoming a tad excitable sir, What do you mean
this is gonna be great?
Speaker 18 (35:21):
We're gonna see joinkies, lots and lots of the joinkys,
we little cockles, Nelly, Honey, John boy? How many jesticles
do you think we're gonna see?
Speaker 7 (35:34):
To that?
Speaker 18 (35:35):
I hope it's a lot, and even numbers only get it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 18 (35:43):
You boys want another round?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Uh club soda for me, madam, I'll have a dot coke.
Speaker 6 (35:48):
I'll have another triple slowly with a splash of memory,
had a twist and don't forget to put splend on the.
Speaker 18 (35:54):
Real Yeah, I'll be right back.
Speaker 20 (36:00):
Mister Haberdasher. Perhaps you should pace yourself regarding your alcohol consumption.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
After all, the night is young.
Speaker 18 (36:07):
Oh, don't you.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Worry, church Hill.
Speaker 18 (36:10):
I can handle it, Helen her.
Speaker 6 (36:15):
Kenrick, because there's some sweeter puppies loosen here. So perhaps
we can move back a little.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Do we have to set so close? Well, I guess
we could move back a little.
Speaker 18 (36:29):
I can't see too far off out my glasses.
Speaker 20 (36:31):
Well, unless you hadn't noticed you're wearing your glasses, I'm.
Speaker 18 (36:35):
Gonna have to take them off with the fog up,
and they're gonna fall up. He's gonna get steam in here, gully.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
See Cadbury, this is the sort of thing you need
to be coming in with.
Speaker 10 (36:48):
Oh, sir, I have a bad.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
Feeling about this, the haberdasher.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Give me a break. The guy's harmless. Just don't let
him check your insamee if you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (36:58):
Here you go fellas soda water for the penguin, a
gay cola for Bigfoot, and a diabetic coma for the nerd.
Drink up. Okay, you horny juggalos, this time to welcome
our first lady to the stage this evening.
Speaker 18 (37:12):
Just in topose he bleserves my two favorite things. I'll
have my hord favorite things.
Speaker 19 (37:22):
I know.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Gully, put your sweaty little meat hooks together from miss
Minage Detroit.
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Oh, she is a big girl.
Speaker 20 (37:37):
Raw votes.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Like I said, Cadbury, the best birthday ever.
Speaker 18 (37:45):
Hi, Hi, their bottles of joy over here.
Speaker 20 (37:48):
It's easy there, Haberdasher, mister Haberdasha, fle sit down. You
are making a spectacle of yourself.
Speaker 18 (37:54):
No, not well, that's not all.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
The Hammerdasher is on stage and he's disrobing.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Golly, at least he left his boat town.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
Man.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
He can really move.
Speaker 20 (38:20):
Is here like a dollar to put in his goddess?
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Haberdasher, This is Cadbury's birthday.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
And you're ruining it.
Speaker 18 (38:33):
Okay, you clowns want to pull the six flags guy
off the stage.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Don't you have a bouncer? Come on, Cadbury, we need
to do something.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
Cadbury.
Speaker 20 (38:51):
We gotta stop him, really, sa You know, every time
we go out, I wind up in jail, in the hospital,
man handled by a run girl on packed by a
giant bird. What's your point? My point is, for once
it's not happening to me and I must say, it's
(39:14):
a wonderful feeling.
Speaker 10 (39:16):
Let's just sit here and be a family.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Best birthday ever.
Speaker 6 (39:26):
Best birthday ever?
Speaker 8 (39:27):
S sometimes.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Money, I'll big shows on your radio.
Speaker 21 (39:40):
Hello, you perky early Risers. Here's just the thing to
wake you up and get your blood pumping, the John
Boy and Billy Big Show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the wall.
Speaker 12 (40:01):
Just like me.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Oh see what I mean. There's a big showing a
(40:42):
radio and y'all you gotta make sure you got friends
and family out of the country around the world. Gorse
got a lot of military where you can get the
big show every Monday through Friday on the John Won
Billy Late Risers podcast. I want to make sure they
know you can do Dad's Got Away. You can't get
(41:03):
it on Terresto Radio. Got several wonderful radio stations. You
can stream the old live stream deal. You got a
lot of people doing that as well. Technocracy, Uncle George,
we like it.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
Hey, while you were out on Monday nursing your woes,
I put together a really old show. So if you
go back in the podcast, go back in history, back
to Monday, it's from like the early two thousands, the
whole show.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I didn't cut anything. Awesome, good, okay. Well, you make
it easy. Subscribe to us with a free iHeartRadio app.
It alerts you get to download every Monday through Friday.
The Big Show dot com
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Gulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boyn Billy right here on
the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear the
Big Show. Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
(01:01):
Do you know what the Russ says?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yeah, I guess alright, let's ease in this Thursday morning.
Everybody a right. If we got the e's and part done, see,
we're gonna do. Oh, We're gonna have some fun.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Man.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Later on we get to catch up with our man
Doug Rise And was there the rovol Race Charlom Motor
Speedway watching my boys v. G Win, the fifth road
race in a row. It was like some of us
race car drivers, it's just something that we have a
natural night for It's a gift. You can't really take
(01:42):
take credit for it. You gotta save you and the
mic save your tires. That's what I was trying to
get to. So see if we can get around to that,
then all right, Okay, I ain't waiting on y'all. I'm
a laugh. Bench Shows on the radio, Good Morning, Big
Shows on the Radio. Hunting Season boys as happy herd time,
(02:06):
we got our first prize back A happy herd this
morning they make top quality of tracting some minerals and
feed for deer, bear and hogs. Even I using happy herd,
you better hope your neighbors aren't as where they going.
Click on a happy herd banner the Big Show dot
com in or coach JBB you get tempersent off a checkout.
Do three days in history where we got our three
(02:27):
categories and get that winning beginning all right. Eighteen fifty eight,
the first mail service by stage coach between San fran
and Saint Louis began. It took twenty three days four
hours to make the trip.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
How anything important about the.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
About takes that much time? Now you know they're raising
the postage again this year at Christmas time?
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Oh really? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
I figure it must be to pay storage.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
What is it now? I can't remember everything I said.
Now goes by weight something like that one stamp go
for storage? Yeah? Move up to nineteen forty six, Americans
were introduced to electric blankets for the first time. The
(03:17):
electrified cover sold for about forty bucks. Right, that was
expensive in forty six. Finally, in twenty three, a world
record was set for the heaviest pumpkin a jack o'
lantern gord, weighing two thousand, seven hundred forty nine pounds.
You know Travis Genger from Anoka, Minnesota, NAS. Yeah, he
(03:41):
said he got six hundred and eighty seven piles out
of it.
Speaker 4 (03:46):
Like the way you think you don't want to eat
a punkin that big all at once.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
There's a categories one eight hundred big shows. You told
free line, come on play out burst next.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
Morning.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
It's a big show on the radio. Let's look did
our feature track this morning? All right? Our agent Murray
Sherman's big TV idea Lo sherm idea man keyword, big
idea in the big box at the big show dot com.
Speaker 6 (04:44):
Upburst, Let's be upburst.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
John Boy Billy give the.
Speaker 7 (04:53):
Prizes from the big prize.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Let's go contest the number one this shi.
Speaker 7 (05:00):
It be a lot of fun playing uppers. Have them
Mary up and guest.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Time you love the best time you love a big shot.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Say hey a Bennie from Faville on North Carolina.
Speaker 8 (05:17):
We shot morning, Benny wail up.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Oh right man, that like we all awake, So let's
just get you that prize pack. What you say, brother,
five seconds? Give us three things sent through the mail, ready.
Speaker 9 (05:45):
To go, build magazine, gift court.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Now we need three kinds of blankets ready to go.
Speaker 9 (06:00):
Quilty maybe electric.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I like it, Ben it for the wind, Three things
made with punkin ready to go.
Speaker 9 (06:14):
Punkin pie, punkin bread. Don't I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Getting pumping spies since that time of the year. Benny,
you did it, buddy. I can't wait to send you
out prize back over to Fanville.
Speaker 10 (06:29):
I may, I mean Jackie and Taylor.
Speaker 9 (06:35):
I can I give a quick shout out for.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
You, of course you can.
Speaker 11 (06:39):
I want to give it to my wife for forty
two years, been fighting cancer for the last few months
and beating it fast.
Speaker 9 (06:46):
Thank you Lord.
Speaker 11 (06:48):
But I just want to just give her a shout
out and want to get another forty out of her
if I can.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Benny, her was her first name, family, all right, Pamilya.
I wanted to get that out there for the praying,
big show people. We appreciate you being good, buddy. I'm
glad you want man. You hang on and Jackie's gonna
hook you up.
Speaker 9 (07:09):
Okay, Yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
All right, boy, why buy him Onny Hour, top of
your news on the other side of our time caps
over by early morning rising. You're gonna a laugh on it.
October nine.
Speaker 12 (07:57):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 13 (08:13):
Thank you, John Boy, you're well. Good morning everybody. It's
mister Rubarb here for some heme, Good morning, mister, Good.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Morning, Randy.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Say you bye for Hume.
Speaker 13 (08:26):
Does your wife know you're wearing her shoes?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Actually?
Speaker 14 (08:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
What about the blouse?
Speaker 15 (08:33):
I laid it out last night. This is something my mother,
my mother says, you know, just like you like it?
Thanks mom, Now I'll make you laugh.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
Why do termites?
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I'll take that bit.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
I mean, what do termites say?
Speaker 2 (08:54):
It works?
Speaker 3 (08:57):
What do they have for breakfast?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Oak meal?
Speaker 13 (09:04):
What kind of school does a carpenter go to? Boarding school?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
What are you buying? Bazooka bubblegum or something?
Speaker 13 (09:17):
No, but you know that Bazuka Joe's turtleneck that goes
up over his nose. That might be a good look
for you. That a man came round in hospital after
a serious accident. He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel
my legs. The doctor said, I know I've.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Cut your arms off. What do you call a cow
that lives in an igloo?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
An Eskie Moon.
Speaker 13 (09:46):
Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off after the flash on his camera mountfunction.
What did Satan get back from the drug store? What
prints of darkness? Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
(10:12):
Why because the line was busy?
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Get it? Are there blood banks in England? As you
don't know? Did you know?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
We don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I don't either, But there's a Liverpool.
Speaker 13 (10:35):
And what was on the license plate of the pickup
truck of the sheep farmer?
Speaker 12 (10:39):
What you haul?
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Get it? That's a baby sheep.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
You've been buying Jeger Master again?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
No, but that's not a bad idea.
Speaker 13 (10:52):
Now, this is the story of Zeba Daiah, a farmer
who was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young laying hens called pullets, and eight or ten roosters.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Pullets got a funny thank you.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Roosters sounded kind of weird too.
Speaker 13 (11:08):
Yeah, the roosters haven't got me concentrating. It was their
job to fertilize the eggs. See when a rooster likes
a hen very very much. Well, Zeb kept careful records
in any rooster that didn't perform came out of the
starting lineup and went right into the soup pot. All
this record keeping took an awful lot of Zeb's time.
(11:31):
So Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached
them to his roosters. Now, each bell had a different tone,
so that Zeb could tell from a distance which rooster
was performing. Hit set on the porch and fill out
efficiency report.
Speaker 3 (11:45):
Simply by listening to the bell.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Now, where were they working in the hotel lobby?
Speaker 13 (11:54):
You try to find a bell at six o'clock. Anyway,
Zeb's favorite rooster was Oldster, and a fine one.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
He was, too.
Speaker 9 (12:04):
Rooster.
Speaker 13 (12:05):
But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell
had not rung at all. So he went to investigate. Well,
the other roosters were chasing pullets. Bells are ringing. Well,
the pullets would hear the roosters coming and would run.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
For cover, and who can blame them?
Speaker 13 (12:24):
But to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak,
so it couldn't ring in his what beak his little
rooster lips?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
How does he go back if his mouth is full?
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Shut up?
Speaker 13 (12:35):
Ring hit sneak up on a pullet, get busy and
walk on to the next one. Huh Zeb was so
proud of Brewster the Rooster that he entered him in
the County Fair, and Brewster was an overnight sensation. The
judges awarded him the no Bell Peace Prize and the
pullet Surprise Bullet Surprise, Yeah, get out, I'm getting I'm
(13:03):
mister Rubb saying I'm mister rub Hey.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
You wanna bor my blouse?
Speaker 9 (13:08):
You?
Speaker 12 (13:12):
Shawn Boy and Billy? Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Good morning.
Speaker 10 (13:45):
It's a make shaw on the radio.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
What about twenty minutes married man phone sex episode?
Speaker 6 (13:53):
A little earler.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Blood married bird? Hang over there of course, yeah, way
over this call over the hort and delberts Man.
Speaker 16 (14:08):
Hello, oh man, this heart man?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
It mad John Boy? Better here hoty man?
Speaker 16 (14:16):
Turn are you beg hey? No driving? Nose picking? N call, dragging,
boots cratching? Hee Hall looking for rom all?
Speaker 14 (14:24):
Not much?
Speaker 2 (14:25):
What's up with you?
Speaker 16 (14:26):
Oh? Got me a new girlfriend?
Speaker 5 (14:28):
Whall?
Speaker 16 (14:29):
Names jitdy? Wow?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Where do you guys meet?
Speaker 16 (14:31):
I run into her? At the food can Ah fell.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Love at the frozen food isle.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Huh No.
Speaker 16 (14:37):
When I say run into her, I mean in the
parking lot. I told her me and my partner on
the body shop and offered to fix her fender for free,
and we just kind of hit it off after that.
Speaker 13 (14:46):
Well, congratulations, heart hasn't been going No, her daddy.
Speaker 16 (14:51):
Has been sick. She just moved back home to take
care of him. He's one of them hardcore independent Baptist type.
Oh yeah, yeah, I just started. Don't like me? What
the Every time I come to pick Gdy up, he's
always asking me all kinds of questions about the Bible,
trying to trip me up. The other day he says, son,
have you spent any time studying the Bible? I said, well,
(15:11):
probably not as much as I should. Sir, he says, well,
how about reciting the ten commandments for me? And I'll
make it easy for you. You can name them in any order.
I says, ten commandments, any order. Let's see two, four
or five, nine, three eight?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Froze up a little bit.
Speaker 16 (15:33):
I tell you this here has got disaster wrote all.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Over pus already. Hear them. That reminds me what's Delbert
up to well.
Speaker 16 (15:40):
Speaking of looking at your sex relatives, Delvert has been
up in West Jefferson for the last two weeks taking
care of me.
Speaker 7 (15:47):
Ma.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh, man was wrong with me?
Speaker 16 (15:48):
Mom? Oh, she fell down hurt her knees.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh is you serious?
Speaker 16 (15:52):
No, it's just a slight spain. Doc says, she'll be
fine to come on week. But you know she's been
all alone up her since Pee Paul died and debts
some happening out around the farm.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Well, how's that going.
Speaker 16 (16:05):
Trouble with Ferdinand, this so called prize winning bull that
she bought to mate with the cows so called yeah never,
says Old Ferdinand wasn't showing no interest in his shall
we say, a work at all. So they went to
see the vet and said, what do you think of
herd to do?
Speaker 8 (16:22):
Dog?
Speaker 16 (16:22):
Give him these pills, said, make sure old Ferdinand tastes
one of these every day. Inside of a week, I
believe you see a dramatic change in his behavior. Well,
sure enough, a few days later, DoD calls back and
asks how it was going. Dever says, it's going great.
That old bull got plumb jinkye with it. After their
show took care of all the mem of Carols, busted
(16:42):
through the fence, took care of all the neighbors. Carows too. Whoa,
I says, Wow, Hey, what kind of pills did the
dog give him? Debor says, I ain't sure, but they
tasted carol like peppermint.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
To farms in such good hands.
Speaker 16 (16:59):
Oh yeah, he's Oliver a window down here. Yeah, well,
well you tell him, I said, he'll know what you mean.
I'll keep a shight up.
Speaker 10 (17:17):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
There's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 14 (17:20):
Helly, you lindsay premise here.
Speaker 17 (17:23):
When I'm on this side of the pond, I get
my daily dose of culture and edification every morning from
these two delightful lads, John Boy and Billy right here
on the big show. You know, I hate to break
it to you boys, but where I come from, you're
all Yankees.
Speaker 14 (17:39):
Who will? I thought it was Buddy.
Speaker 10 (17:46):
H Good morning, and it's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Max Tabat attention, Max Tabot at a grand view, Indiana.
Got your letter, got it right here? Of course, I
had all the letters from the US Postal Service there
was briefly turned it over to Jackie. During the anthrax
scare of twenty something like that, so mix Tabot and
(18:41):
Oh and Peggy as well as Max says. Just wanted
to let you people know how every day people appreciate
what you all do for us. We all got faces
for radio, so we have a lot of fun. You
let us win prizes and that's so cool. So I
thought I would return some John Boy, Winchester Dcal, Randy,
(19:07):
Lincoln Park Dcal, Jackie and Tater Racelets you all fight
over the rest. Love you mean it all this week
and nank you.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I picked the pink bracelet.
Speaker 10 (19:31):
Good morning, I got the be sh on the radio.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
Coming up. We played John BOYD Jepardy We go. Do
we get a winner? Somebody's going to get the big
old LS Tractor prize pack includes hat, stainless steel, insulated Tumblr,
cool key Jane. You go to LS Tractor USA dot com,
find you local dealer, Larriwhite Customers, start blue and stay blue.
Hang on blaveboard a minute. Man, Yeah, I had to
come up with a good reason for married man. I
(19:54):
got one here.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
Man.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It was eighteen seventy six. I don't have to go
back that far. Okay. The first two the way telephone
conversation occurred first over outdoor wires Yeah, they climbed a pole,
just like Oliver Douglas in Green Acres. All right, well
hang on, would you have any Meanwhile.
Speaker 7 (20:18):
My read man, my ried man drives around in a
minivan for him has no single wife. I'll let him
do what she says, it's about timing groove.
Speaker 6 (20:30):
Well there's a screw. Look you'll find the married man
as our story opens. Married man and Powell College buddy
heading home from work after a long, hard week. Hey,
thanks again for giving me a left home pow no
pra Bob.
Speaker 10 (20:45):
So, honey, bunny's got the minivan.
Speaker 6 (20:47):
Huh Yeah. The Neighborhood Canasta League went to Centerville for
the big Southeastern regionals. She volunteered to be the designated driver.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
How long is she going to be gone?
Speaker 6 (20:56):
Well, the finals are tonight, so winter loose. She'll be
back around the lunchtime tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh you're a bachelor.
Speaker 5 (21:02):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Hey, me and some of the guys from office going
to Sporties to watch the game.
Speaker 6 (21:06):
You want to come, I don't know, I'm kind of
be Come on.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It'll be fun. You never do anything with me anymore.
Speaker 10 (21:12):
Hey, we might even make.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
A little side trip to the Kitcat Club.
Speaker 6 (21:15):
You're pervert? Is that all you ever think about?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Hey, my guy, you want to try it sometime?
Speaker 5 (21:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (21:20):
Yeah, yeah, listen, thanks, but no thanks.
Speaker 10 (21:24):
Suit yourself, give me coffee, change your mind.
Speaker 6 (21:26):
Okay, thanks again for the ride. After enjoying a zesty
lean cuisine for dinner, married man settles down in front
of the TV. Well, let's see what's on the old idiot.
Speaker 18 (21:39):
Box information not your naked dreams?
Speaker 6 (21:44):
Oh perfect, I love TV land. Hello. Oh hi Honeyboddy.
How'll the tournament go? Oh that's too bad? What do you?
Speaker 7 (22:00):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (22:00):
Woman got on tap for tonight?
Speaker 14 (22:02):
Huh?
Speaker 6 (22:03):
What's that food poisoning? Huh? Bad batch of Kung pow
chicken at the buffet? Everybody but you? Oh well, I
guess that Jenny Craig turned out to be your best
friend after all.
Speaker 14 (22:16):
Huh.
Speaker 6 (22:18):
So you're just gonna be kind of stuck there at
the hotel tonight. Huh. Gee, that's a shame. But oh
I'm just chilling in front of the TV. Yeah, honey,
could you excuse me for just a second. I've got
another call coming in. Hello, No, hello, mother Fletcher. How
are you? Oh that's a shame. We'll try soaking it
(22:43):
in some hot water. Maybe that would happen. What's that? Yes,
I was just talking to her. No, they lost. Yeah,
she's going to be back in the morning. I'll tell
her you called all right, goodbye? Hello, honey, that was
your mom. Toe is swelled up again. Yeah, that's what
I told her. Huh.
Speaker 16 (23:05):
I know.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
I wish you were here with me too. What's that?
What would I do if you were? Gee? I don't
know what. You want me to think about it and
then describe what I do and don't leave out any
juicy details. Are you asking me to do what I
(23:27):
think you're asking me to do? Well, I don't know.
I guess i'd start by turning off the TV. Hownyway?
Are you sure about this? I mean, I don't know
what to say. What? Well? Okay, what are you wearing? Really?
(23:51):
The one I gave you for your birthday? Why in
the world did you pack that for a trip to
the canasta tournament? What? Oh, it's just a fantasy. Sorry, okay,
go ahead, honey, there's the call waiting again. Excuse me
just a second. Hello, Yes, mother Fletcher? What's that? Yes,
I suppose some salt in the water might help. Yes, ma'am,
(24:13):
I'm sure the store brand kind is just as good
as Morton's. Yes, salt is salt, ma'am. Listen, it's not
that I don't want to help you, but honey, money
is calling long distance. Yes, ma'am, thank you, goodbye, Okay,
I'm back. What no, Listen, I just don't think I
can can can make nasty washty talk over the phone.
(24:34):
I just can't, just because what I don't have to
Thanks for understanding. I just what You'll do the talking
and I can can join in whenever I feel like it. Well, okay,
uh huh, uh huh. I knock on your door and
(24:58):
I'm dressed as who honey? Why would the pool man
be on the fifteenth floor of the hotel at nine
o'clock at night?
Speaker 12 (25:04):
What?
Speaker 6 (25:05):
Yes, I know what a fantasy is. Okay, I'm sorry,
go ahead, uh huh. And then what would you do? Really? Gee,
wouldn't that be a little bit awkward? It wouldn't matter
because by then you'd be totally naked. Ge whiz. What
(25:27):
would I say? Well, I guess i'd say, honey, I'm sorry,
could you hold on one more second? Hello? Yes, mother Fletcher, ma'ama,
I'm kind of in the middle of something right now,
I'll call you first thing in the morning, I promise. Okay, goodbye. Okay,
Now where were we? Oh yeah, maybe you'd like me
(25:50):
to cover you with this cup of chocolate pudding from
the mini bar and nibble on you until mother mother Fletcher.
I'm sorry, I thought you were somebody else. No, I
mean I thought you were Hello, Hello.
Speaker 16 (26:09):
Paul.
Speaker 6 (26:10):
He mistaken identity as married man's romantic moment goes swirling
down the toilet. We invite you to tune it again
for our next spring to titaning adventure, same married time,
same married channels.
Speaker 7 (26:24):
Look, you'll find them married none well worthy?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Thing is where's over?
Speaker 5 (26:31):
Well?
Speaker 2 (26:31):
All right, go, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. We need
to review yesterday's question. We found out when this was
first installed in a White House in eighteen ninety one,
President Benjamin Harrison was kind of afraid of it, kinda
He and his wife refused to use it unless a
servant activated it for him. And we talked about his
(26:53):
electricity had electric chairs, and back then he was a
little skintish. Okay, well, let's play today's John boyd Jeopardy.
Lots of familiar sayings are shortened over time. For example,
happy as a clam might sound a little half mad now,
(27:13):
but back when people said the whole phrase, it ended
with these three words, Ah, what is uh in a
pile of mud?
Speaker 5 (27:25):
Mud?
Speaker 18 (27:26):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
No, that's how slick you are. What y'all got?
Speaker 10 (27:30):
One ain't hundred?
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Big show you told free line. We played John boyd
Jeopardy next, Good morning, and it's a big show on
(28:04):
the Radio five feature driving the Big Show, Big Box,
our ragin Murray Sherman's Big TV idea, keyword, big idea
when they hit the big box out of the Big
Show dot com there right now.
Speaker 6 (28:17):
Let's play yays live across America.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
It's John Boy jamming and now your host his latest
big idea.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Alarm clocks that make the.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
Sound a dog makes when it's about to throw up,
because nobody can stay in.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Bed with that happening, pees John Boy, as I headed
Chris out of Stewart's Draft Virginia.
Speaker 10 (28:41):
Good morning, Chris, Good.
Speaker 19 (28:43):
Morning, John Boy, Good morning everybody.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Buddy. All right, you got the first shot out of
this morning, Chris. Let's see what you got. We're talking
about lots of familiar sayings or shortened over time, where
asaw Boy we're saying happy as a clam. It might
sound a little half big, now get it. But back
when people said the whole phrase happy as a clam,
it ended with these three words.
Speaker 19 (29:10):
Well, John boy, I gotta be honest with you. Papau
used to say this to me.
Speaker 9 (29:14):
All the time.
Speaker 19 (29:15):
I believe you who used to tell me that he
was happy as a clam at high tide.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Happy as a clam at high tide.
Speaker 10 (29:29):
Granddad knew what was up.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
That's it, man. And of course you're all white high
tide because people cannot dig clams then, so they're safe
and happy until low tide, when the breeding grounds are exposed.
Get that little clam right, That works for good point
to Chris. Good work, buddy, you got the prize pack.
Speaker 9 (29:53):
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 19 (29:54):
I just want to say, first time caller, I've been
trying to get through for many years. I love you guys,
show very much.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Awesome, Chris, Now you go water.
Speaker 9 (30:05):
I can give a shout out real quick, Yes you may.
Speaker 19 (30:08):
I'd like to give a shout out to my friends Quincy, Cameron,
Nate and Derek.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Well there you go. Appreciate you with you boys listening
to the big show.
Speaker 9 (30:19):
We appreciate it. Thank you so much, y'all.
Speaker 19 (30:21):
Y'all have a good day.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Find him on the hour and w and new fun
with Girl Scouts and Tater former Brownie.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
So good morning.
Speaker 10 (31:15):
It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
We honor a day in the history. October the ninth,
nineteen eighty three, an eighty six year old Helen Moss. So,
my sister England joined the Brownies. She's the oldest person
ever to join the girls organization.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
I mean it one season, that was it.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
But we're talking about that. Yeah, Brownies were allowed to
sell Girls Scout cookies. That how you kind of made
your bones? Yeah, we did it.
Speaker 18 (31:46):
We were like, you know, a girl Scout some training.
Speaker 3 (31:48):
So we all sold the cookies and I had to
go door to door.
Speaker 18 (31:52):
Now let's take it to the office.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Your grandma sell it.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
This is too much work, man, I can tell you what.
All right, you've had some fun over the years with
Girl Scout cookies. How about this bornus top ten? Liz.
Speaker 6 (32:06):
Well, it's almost that time of year again, Girl Scout
cookie season, which means America is going to be buying
boxes of samoas and tagglongs and thin mints. And tree foils. Now,
great names like that don't just come off the top
of somebody's head. As you can imagine, for every catchy
cookie name that makes a big time there are dozens
more that actually get shot down during the brainstorming sessions,
(32:29):
such as I'm glad you asked here. They are the
top ten rejected Girl Scout cookie names number ten, Dutch
ovens number nine, reach around number eight, coconut dingleberries number seven,
(32:50):
dill holes number six, raspberry pissars number five, little drippies
number four, lemon cooters number three, skid marks number two,
numb nuts, and the number one rejected Girl Scout cookie
(33:15):
name fudge packers.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
How about monn that's amazing?
Speaker 5 (33:48):
On al radio.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
About then these celebrations began. Gentlemen's gentlemen high, No, cat, Mary,
this is gonna be the best birthday you've ever had.
Speaker 20 (34:04):
It has to be better than last year's birthday. Surprised
never been to a backshaving contest.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
I didn't hear you complaining when we won, and you
healed up in no time, So quit squalkin.
Speaker 20 (34:17):
How do you tolerate me?
Speaker 16 (34:19):
Sir?
Speaker 2 (34:19):
I went all out this year. Do you know the
kind of streets. I had a pulling at front row seats.
Speaker 20 (34:25):
Yes, I'd be more enthusiastic if we were at the
theater or the symphony, sir. But I can't say that
I'm abulliant to be front and center at M.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Biggins, which just happens to be the number one gentleman's
club in the truck County area.
Speaker 16 (34:40):
Sir?
Speaker 20 (34:42):
Don't you find it demeaning to yourself and these young
ladies by oogling them in a liquor saturated spectacle of
debauchery and hormonal agitation?
Speaker 6 (34:51):
Well, I might if I knew what that meant.
Speaker 18 (34:55):
I think youre.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I hope you don't mind hammerdis you're tagging along. He
doesn't get out much worries. You don't say I.
Speaker 20 (35:07):
Wouldn't mind, sir, But he's been quaffing libation after libation,
and if you don't mind my saying, he seems to
be becoming a tad excitable sir, What do you mean
this is gonna be great?
Speaker 18 (35:21):
We're gonna see joinkies, lots and lots of the joinkys,
we little cockles, Nelly, Honey, John boy? How many jesticles
do you think we're gonna see?
Speaker 7 (35:34):
To that?
Speaker 18 (35:35):
I hope it's a lot, and even numbers only get it.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 18 (35:43):
You boys want another round?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Uh club soda for me, madam, I'll have a dot coke.
Speaker 6 (35:48):
I'll have another triple slowly with a splash of memory,
had a twist and don't forget to put splend on the.
Speaker 18 (35:54):
Real Yeah, I'll be right back.
Speaker 20 (36:00):
Mister Haberdasher. Perhaps you should pace yourself regarding your alcohol consumption.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
After all, the night is young.
Speaker 18 (36:07):
Oh, don't you.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Worry, church Hill.
Speaker 18 (36:10):
I can handle it, Helen her.
Speaker 6 (36:15):
Kenrick, because there's some sweeter puppies loosen here. So perhaps
we can move back a little.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Do we have to set so close? Well, I guess
we could move back a little.
Speaker 18 (36:29):
I can't see too far off out my glasses.
Speaker 20 (36:31):
Well, unless you hadn't noticed you're wearing your glasses, I'm.
Speaker 18 (36:35):
Gonna have to take them off with the fog up,
and they're gonna fall up. He's gonna get steam in here, gully.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
See Cadbury, this is the sort of thing you need
to be coming in with.
Speaker 10 (36:48):
Oh, sir, I have a bad.
Speaker 6 (36:50):
Feeling about this, the haberdasher.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
Give me a break. The guy's harmless. Just don't let
him check your insamee if you know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (36:58):
Here you go fellas soda water for the penguin, a
gay cola for Bigfoot, and a diabetic coma for the nerd.
Drink up. Okay, you horny juggalos, this time to welcome
our first lady to the stage this evening.
Speaker 18 (37:12):
Just in topose he bleserves my two favorite things. I'll
have my hord favorite things.
Speaker 19 (37:22):
I know.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
Gully, put your sweaty little meat hooks together from miss
Minage Detroit.
Speaker 6 (37:32):
Oh, she is a big girl.
Speaker 20 (37:37):
Raw votes.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Like I said, Cadbury, the best birthday ever.
Speaker 18 (37:45):
Hi, Hi, their bottles of joy over here.
Speaker 20 (37:48):
It's easy there, Haberdasher, mister Haberdasha, fle sit down. You
are making a spectacle of yourself.
Speaker 18 (37:54):
No, not well, that's not all.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
The Hammerdasher is on stage and he's disrobing.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Golly, at least he left his boat town.
Speaker 5 (38:18):
Man.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
He can really move.
Speaker 20 (38:20):
Is here like a dollar to put in his goddess?
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Haberdasher, This is Cadbury's birthday.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
And you're ruining it.
Speaker 18 (38:33):
Okay, you clowns want to pull the six flags guy
off the stage.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Don't you have a bouncer? Come on, Cadbury, we need
to do something.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
Cadbury.
Speaker 20 (38:51):
We gotta stop him, really, sa You know, every time
we go out, I wind up in jail, in the hospital,
man handled by a run girl on packed by a
giant bird. What's your point? My point is, for once
it's not happening to me and I must say, it's
(39:14):
a wonderful feeling.
Speaker 10 (39:16):
Let's just sit here and be a family.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
Best birthday ever.
Speaker 6 (39:26):
Best birthday ever?
Speaker 8 (39:27):
S sometimes.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Money, I'll big shows on your radio.
Speaker 21 (39:40):
Hello, you perky early Risers. Here's just the thing to
wake you up and get your blood pumping, the John
Boy and Billy Big Show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the wall.
Speaker 12 (40:01):
Just like me.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Oh see what I mean. There's a big showing a
(40:42):
radio and y'all you gotta make sure you got friends
and family out of the country around the world. Gorse
got a lot of military where you can get the
big show every Monday through Friday on the John Won
Billy Late Risers podcast. I want to make sure they
know you can do Dad's Got Away. You can't get
(41:03):
it on Terresto Radio. Got several wonderful radio stations. You
can stream the old live stream deal. You got a
lot of people doing that as well. Technocracy, Uncle George,
we like it.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
Hey, while you were out on Monday nursing your woes,
I put together a really old show. So if you
go back in the podcast, go back in history, back
to Monday, it's from like the early two thousands, the
whole show.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I didn't cut anything. Awesome, good, okay. Well, you make
it easy. Subscribe to us with a free iHeartRadio app.
It alerts you get to download every Monday through Friday.
The Big Show dot com
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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