January 2, 2025 • 45 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’re saluting our favorite Super Hero, Married Man all morning.. - Ricky B. Sharpe steps up to our Karaoke mic and performs “Punch Her Face”.. - Gary Busey jots his first entry into his diary for the New Year.. - Hoyt and the JuniorNation Band take us on a ride down Peckerhead Road.. -Carl Childers explains a holiday classic as only he can.. - and Marvin Webster weighs in on family plannimg…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
You got the big show on already, all more chances
for you to win coming up after your.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
News, weather and sports.
Speaker 4 (00:06):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve racking they are. I don't even complain when they
(00:28):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory foam pillow and
stop telling his kids that's where the comet hits.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Y'all can do the do up and Adam say Hey,
the Thursday, January second, twenty and twenty five.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
X s Fack Babes, we hot dogs, beat.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
We work.
Speaker 6 (01:36):
Let's celebrate twenty twenty five starting right now.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Alright, y'all National Buffet Day if you didn't get enough
to eat over the holidays, National Science Fiction Day. They
getting into that National Personal Trainer Awareness Day. Randy were
discussing you old, you want to lose weight in the
(02:01):
New Years, And Randy's trying to tell me that that
lifting weights are getting muscles doesn't help.
Speaker 7 (02:08):
It's not gonna help you lose weight.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You know, I'm gonna help.
Speaker 8 (02:11):
It will help your heart, and it'll help your attitude,
your brain, you're all that.
Speaker 7 (02:16):
And these are not my findings. These are scientific findings
I have seen.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well remember Pam and when I was on my kick,
when I was when I was lifting heavy things. Yeah, well,
hold on, this was his I'm scrolling back, his personal.
Speaker 7 (02:33):
Trainer that he gifted to me.
Speaker 9 (02:36):
I gut so.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Tired of her to get out house measures making me
eat all healthy food.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
My door.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Go well, Brandy, I'll get you started cooking for you.
That was like the best. But it did work.
Speaker 10 (02:55):
Man.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But you told me that muscles ate up fat, so
you know, she said yeah, yeah. So when I was
trying to argue with about I want to do this
my legs and my legs ain't fat, she said, well
you get them muscles in your thigh.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
She would have taken me more seriously if I had
to use a different.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Voice, the Hall of Fame radio boss.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Hey, wat's the monter with you to meet electos? Wait,
my legs were fired.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
The worst gonna have handsome legs.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
It was legs like that. I had a message Todd
turn the focus away from you.
Speaker 11 (03:37):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
That's where it works.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
On National Personal Trainer Awareness Day, be aware and like
move around them.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
National Cream Puff Day.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
What Barney was called the sign that letter to get
Ellie Walker elected if y'all missed that during the November elections.
So okay, so we got three days in history saved up.
Y'all wake up and catch up with me. I'm doing
some good stuff right here. Get the humor is over
twenty twenty five and we'll get the winning beginning in minutes.
(04:13):
Big shows on a radio. Good morning, Big Show is
on a radio. First prize pack here or twenty twenty five.
How about a bird tea County peanuts Southern tradition for
over one hundred years. Prize pack. We introduced these to
you before Christmas. So now if you didn't get around
(04:34):
to it, kind of busy, get to the Big Show
dot com. Click on that bird tea County Peanuts banner
intercode JBB. You check out, get twenty five percent off,
plus you still got that free shipping. All right. Listen,
numb right here. You got three dates in history, but
we got our categories. You canna win that High nineteen
(04:55):
twenty one, religious services were broadcast on radio for the time.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It was Katie Ka and Pittsburgh are the.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Regular Sunday service of the city's Cavalry Episcopal Church.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I was uh.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Broadcasting, let me say, I was running the first Presbyterian
Church of Burlington, North Carolina. Was my first official radio gig.
Is Honday morning doing that?
Speaker 7 (05:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Back in the day is what would deal?
Speaker 12 (05:20):
What?
Speaker 10 (05:21):
You know?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
What I ran on Sunday morning was Arthur Smith?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Oh man? Is that right?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's what I told you? As a family churs, as
a man, the all Presbyterians. I got no good music.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
My mama was a choir director Andrews Memorial Baptist Church
and lead singer Rainbow Trio. Man, y'all know my mama.
I'm telling everybody else beautiful voice. Okay, let's move up
to nineteen thirty six. Burmashave erected roadside signs out the
US promising free, free a trip to Mars for nine
hundred empty jars.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Now you're aware of this, you researched it. What was
the deal on that?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
So somebody finally set because he said he'd collected nine
hundred jars and wanted his free trip to Mars, and
then he settled when Burmasheave supplied a spacesuit and flew
him to Mars, Germany. Here you go, see, okay, No,
you had it all here, all right. I had a
little footnote there for you. And finally, in two thousand
(06:19):
and two, a robbery attempt ended abruptly in Brooklyn, New York.
Won suspects pulled a gun accidentally shot his partner in
the butt, all right, and they were attempting to rob
an insurance office.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
By the way, I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Know there's some link that's be funny in that, but
I just don't feel like searching shot in the butt,
he said, all right.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I think that was it, all right.
Speaker 12 (06:45):
Good.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
So there's our three dates and hits her our three
categories one eight hundred big shows, she told free Line.
We play outbursts next good Thursday morning, January is second
(07:23):
twenty and twenty five Big shows on the radio.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Build a New Year's John Bomilly album.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I've big show, Big Box featured track, Shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Got drink Goffer right Warver in the market.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oliver on Tator's New Year's Romance Hilarious.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
There's her keyword tator romance.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
There's a big box at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Let's get the.
Speaker 13 (07:51):
Uppers. Let's play uppers. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 10 (07:57):
Shon boys, bully, get prizes from the big Prize p
Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 13 (08:06):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing outbers. Have the murry up and guest time, you
have the best time. You have a big shots.
Speaker 14 (08:18):
Let's say, hey to Elise from Benwood, West Virginia, we
have shots.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Good morning Elise, Good morning guys.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Hello, welcome in here, happy near.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Alright, Elise, Well, let's say if you can claim the
first prize back of twenty twenty five that bird T
County paints. All right, let's focus in five seconds. Three
things you hear on the radio ready to.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Go, music, news and weather. Hello, you're talking.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
You could take but no man, now, yes, you got it.
It was hurting me personally for some reason, Lord Alisa,
in honor of the Burma shave, how about three things
you shave ready to go.
Speaker 15 (09:27):
Face, legs, and arm.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I'll take you word for it.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Oh you threw you that.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
It was just three things you shave. Well, right, So
for the wind. Let me see, uh Robert shot his
partner in the butt con They butt categories. It was
an insurance office. All right, there we go, three insurance
companies ready go.
Speaker 15 (10:00):
Off state nationwide in Geico.
Speaker 16 (10:03):
Look at you.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Le's the bird team counting Peanuts prize park. You are
gonna think about us for a long time after the
eating these bad boys.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Baby, congratulations, Thank you all.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Happy New Years, Happy New Year.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I ort to feel like mission accomplishes da bottom money hour. Oh,
Randy gets you say it's it's time for the news.
Speaker 13 (10:31):
That's helpful, Randys do that.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
We do a time cap on the other side of
the rum.
Speaker 17 (11:05):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It's time for dumb crook news, dumb kirch story's belief
The newspapers wire services across America senting by you the
Big Show listener and the address will follow this report.
Police in Garrisonville, Virginia arrested a cow for stealing milk
from a local walmart. Okay, it wasn't a real cow.
(11:43):
It was a guy in a cow suit. Oh that
makes sense.
Speaker 7 (11:48):
Made off with.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Twenty six gallons of milk from the store. When does
it say he left the store and began handing out
gallon jugs to people in the parking lot.
Speaker 15 (11:57):
So he's like the robin Hood of cows was.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
It was last scene by store employees kimping down the
side walking his cowsuit.
Speaker 7 (12:06):
Moo moo, moo.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Well he's responding to an unrelated call. Ran into the
suspect at a nearby McDonald's. He was back in people
closed by them, but the cowsuit was recovered from the
man's car.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Well ah utterly rediguous killer.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Clothes.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
At Okaloosa, Florida, man was arrested for visiting a local
strip club. The man had been banned for life from
Club fifty one over an incident back in February. When
they showed up again this month, the club's owner called
the cops. The man told police it was all a
big misunderstanding. He knew had been banned for life, but
thought the band was from Sammy's, a different local strip club.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know, I get around so much it's hard to remember.
It was arrested for trespassing anyway, keen one, you've seen
him all.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Wow. Every woman in Melbourne of Australia was arrested for
dui near the police station. She told the arrestling officer
she had decided to drive because she had just gotten
a new set of teeth and wanted to try him
out at a nearby KFC.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Could not resist that one.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
A man in Bridgeport, Connecticut was arrested in connection with
the theft of a fifty gallon drum of gasoline. The
suspect dumped the contents and tried to sell the empty
drum to a scrap metal dealer. His asking price for
the drum sixty dollars value of the gasoline he dumped
out of it two hundred dollars.
Speaker 7 (13:37):
Probably didn't keep up with the latest from apparently.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
A pharmacist in Pascal Goula, Mississippi says the guy who
broke into his drug store doesn't know beans about crime
or drugs. The thief grabbed what he thought was a
large bottle of the prescription pain reliever Lord Tab for
the drug store had been broken into several times in
recent months, and Lord Tab was always low the choice,
so the pharmacist replaced the pills and the bottle with
(14:04):
red kidney beans.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I'm not getting a buzz at all here, but I'm
getting regular. I got some guess I hear they're good
for your heart.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
A nurse at a Minneapolis hospital has resigned and faces
criminal charges for stealing a vial of IVY pain killers
while at a patient at the hospital was undergoing kidney
stone surgery. When the victim complained about the pain, the
nurse reporter that reportedly told him to man up.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Man oh Man, there ain't nothing funny about Kenney.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
A professor at George Washington University was honored at the
halftime of a recent basketball game for his financial generosity
to the school, but the guests of honor didn't make
it to the end of the game.
Speaker 7 (14:55):
He was thrown out of the arena in.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
The second half or harassing a referee over the qual
of his officiating.
Speaker 15 (15:01):
So well, you know what they say. Money hit by class.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And when an eighteen year old Massachusetts college student got
his laptop stolen, the computer savvy victim called the cops,
then decided to do a little high tech detective work
on his own. The student used a remote access program
to contact his laptop and search for clues to the crime.
One of the clues was a video of the thief
performing some pretty lame dance moves to a hip hop track.
(15:29):
The victim grabbed the video and posted it on YouTube
under the title don't steal computers from people who know
how to use computers. The clip racked up seven hundred
thousand hits along with an arrest warrant for the thief.
The victim reports of the thief is posted an online
apology begging him to take the video down, which I'm
(15:51):
not going to do. He's not in a position to
bargain now. Dumb political news. President Obama was recently presented
with an award, but you probably didn't hear about it
on the news. That's because the presentation was not on
the White House schedule for the day. There were no
photos or press releases issued, and no mention of the
(16:11):
ceremony on the official White House website. By the way,
the award was an honor of the President's commitment to
transparency and openness with members of the press.
Speaker 7 (16:23):
He can't make us.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
And finally, the manager of a grocery store in the
British territory of Jersey admitted the store had overcharged a
customer by five British pounds that's about eight US dollars,
and he was issuing a refund. The customer says that
while weighing up the vegetivals he was purchasing, the female
clerk had leaned over too far, causing her sizeable boobies
(16:48):
to press.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Down on the scale.
Speaker 7 (16:56):
Leave it alone, you got dumb.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Here is mailed to Dumb Court News, John Boy, Billy
and Pilbox seventy six sixty three, Charlotte, NC two eight
two four one, or email anybody but me at the
Big Show dot com.
Speaker 17 (17:11):
John Boyan Dilly, Good Morning Radio, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Well, good morning.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Here we are Thursday morning, January second, Lesac, Hello friends,
you're all palp bird Fern Here with another missiletone mangling
edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 12 (17:56):
Today's episode Christmas with the Sharps. As our story opens,
Ricky B. Sharp arrives home after a long Christmas Eve
shift at Pizza Runt Number one in Dothan, Alabama. I'd say,
and she's a big eater, but she ain't putting down
the fork.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Fork.
Speaker 12 (18:14):
Chout out, girl, go ahead, chout out so Lucy, Lucy,
I'm home.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Hi.
Speaker 12 (18:21):
What sort of greeting is that for your favorite celebrity
head of the household?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
Well, it's almost midnight. I had dinner ready at six
so we could have a nice Christmas Eve together.
Speaker 12 (18:37):
Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, When are you going to realize that,
as Dothan's most beloved fast food mascot, I have certain obligations.
Speaker 10 (18:47):
Now.
Speaker 12 (18:47):
It just so happens that Fatso Jackson oded on black
licorice and couldn't make it to play Santy Claus, so
I had to take a spot, and my legs are
killing me.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Well, of course they are all the kids sitting on
your lap or twice your size. Eh, another little lump
of old comedy coal in the stocking.
Speaker 12 (19:10):
But for your information, I finally got your Christmas present.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Oh brother, I can't wait.
Speaker 12 (19:18):
What the hell is that supposed to me?
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Ricky, no offense, but you're a terrible gift giver.
Speaker 12 (19:25):
What bigo?
Speaker 5 (19:27):
Since when three years ago I was complained about our appliances.
I told you I'd like to see something in the
kitchen I ain't seed before, and you got me a mirror.
Speaker 12 (19:39):
What hell?
Speaker 15 (19:41):
I ain't a mind reader.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
A year after that, I asked for something to worm
my heart. You got me a gift certificate to Greasy
Garry's Tacoteria.
Speaker 12 (19:50):
And you got heartburned to beat the man missing accomplished. Man,
You women are never happy.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
Okay, So this year you asked for my Christmas list,
I gave you a note with one said it sold.
Speaker 12 (20:04):
It did that, yes, ma'am, yes, and I got it
right here. It said nothing would make me happier than
a diamond necklace.
Speaker 15 (20:11):
And that's rot.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
But I got holded by breath.
Speaker 15 (20:14):
You won't have to, hod.
Speaker 12 (20:18):
Ricky, go on open it.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Oh it's so excited. Oh wait a second, that dad
good box is empty.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (20:30):
You said nothing would make you happier than a diamond necklace.
Speaker 15 (20:33):
So here nothing.
Speaker 12 (20:41):
And how we hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
I want a divorce.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
No way, that's too expensive.
Speaker 12 (20:50):
Tune in next time when we'll hear fatso Jackson at
the dollar lickorice store.
Speaker 15 (20:54):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Good morning, lot more, big show coming.
Speaker 15 (21:01):
Up, John Boy, Big Big Show, goes Picky. I'm Matthew.
Speaker 18 (21:04):
Oh, Marcel, you picked an awful time to call. Well,
listen to the radio. We're right in the middle of
a new intro. You boobe, no, no, not, you're racing
fat Boy pull up a couple of chairs and hit down.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
Listen. I gotta go make coffee for the boys.
Speaker 18 (21:21):
So they can go on making that audio magic known
as the John Boy Baby Big Show.
Speaker 11 (21:25):
Carry on, Drake Peepa, you're.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Going as to make show on the radio. Here we
are Thursday in January and the second College Football Playoffs,
well they might mean lord to you now, depending on
how your team's doing. And Bob Aybach told us about
the night Co Sports full sized football fully licensed limited
edition of five thousand for the twelve teams that begin
(22:29):
the CFP Playoffs, one of their full color logos of
each and then they got to listen to all the
twelve teams and the full color bowl logos for the
six bowls hosting playoffs. You just gotta look at it, man,
it's one of them them Nigo Sports footballs that we
give you a chance at. So a limited edition of
(22:51):
five thousand was made each fully and bossed football price
at one nineteen ninety five. There's fully licensed, the only
one there with that limited edition and the individually numbered.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Certificate of authenticity. Of course.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Okay, night GHO Sports. We got the link at the
Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Click on that.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Inn call eight hundred three four five twenty eight sixty eight,
eight hundred three four five twenty eight sixty eight. It
might be the last shot again them while they last.
I click the link at the Big Show dot Com.
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. We got us
a married Man first of the year. We go through
(23:34):
our most requested songs of the year and our most
requested character. Can you see my air quotes of the
Big Show? A married man wins some of the classic
married men episodes. Today, we're gonna get with one right here. First,
first prize pack we are gonna play for John Boydgepardy,
one of those Happy Herd packages. Of course, Happy Herd
(23:57):
makes top quality attractors, mentals.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And feed but dear bearing hogs.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Click on the abbey er at banner the Big Show
dot Com intercode JBB and you'll get Timmerson off of
check out.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Hi, let's get it going.
Speaker 10 (24:17):
My Redman, My Redman drives around in a minivan, god
a wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes to my red Man.
Speaker 13 (24:31):
House.
Speaker 10 (24:31):
He feeld listen, dude, this poor guy's really screaming hanging on.
Speaker 13 (24:37):
Buy a bread cord of milk, loaf of bread.
Speaker 10 (24:40):
Hey, there there goes for married man, got a big
gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap, and he's
just about hanging on this card.
Speaker 13 (24:54):
My redman, My redman, friendly neighborhood. Married man life has
nothing life. I'll let him do what they she says,
that's how about time he grew. Well, there's a screw you'll.
Speaker 19 (25:10):
Find them married nine last time married mine encountered as
all Powell college buddy who suggested our hero have a
little fun by flirting with the attractive young lady at
the grocery store check out Kata. Our hero rose to
the occasion in his patented married man style. Oo married,
I'm happily married. I've never cheated on my wife in
(25:30):
my entire life. I don't intend to start now. I'm married,
I tell you married.
Speaker 15 (25:36):
Excuse me.
Speaker 19 (25:37):
I just remembered a couple of things I forgot to get.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Hell.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Well, very smooth, you were right, you've still got it.
Speaker 19 (25:46):
Hey, I may be a costume crusader, but I'm still
a human being.
Speaker 15 (25:50):
She tempted me with her feminine wilds.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
All she said was paper or plastic.
Speaker 15 (25:55):
Yeah, Well, with these women today who knows what that
might mean.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Not come on, admitted, men, you've lost your touch. Your
wife runs your life. Man, it happens. It doesn't mean
your life is over. It just means it's not that
interesting anymore.
Speaker 15 (26:10):
That's not true. I run my own life. I don't
let women push me around. Yeah right, I'll prove it.
Speaker 19 (26:16):
I'll go right back over there to that register right
now and check out, and then I'm gonna.
Speaker 15 (26:21):
Go back home and watch the ball game. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 19 (26:25):
I'm a man, I spell m a child and nah,
watch me work, mister skeptic.
Speaker 12 (26:34):
Hi find everything you needed?
Speaker 19 (26:35):
Oh yeah, sorry about that pathetic outburst a minute ago.
Speaker 12 (26:40):
Did you see how much these were?
Speaker 8 (26:42):
They don't have a price.
Speaker 15 (26:44):
No, but I'll be glad to walk over and check
for you.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Oh that's all right, I can check for you.
Speaker 15 (26:48):
Oh, no problem. I can be there and back in
a flash. Really No, No, that's all the way in
the back of the store.
Speaker 12 (26:54):
I'll get somebody to run back there for you.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Christ check twelve pack.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Campac super Maxy open pads.
Speaker 14 (27:01):
With wings for the guy the cave right here, sir,
Anything wrong?
Speaker 17 (27:07):
Oh?
Speaker 19 (27:07):
I was just watching what passes for my life flash
before my eyes. Well, married man be able to survive
the greatest humiliation of his costume career. And that thing
with the ballgame, was he just blowing smoke? That too, answers.
In our next sphincter titaning adventure, Same married time, Same
married channel.
Speaker 13 (27:29):
There's a school you'll find the.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Married man, Yes he had the mand remains another episode
coming up. And then we go to one of the
most requested songs and look is our own tailor here?
Find out what that is the bottom of the hour.
Speaker 8 (27:48):
I bet it's not complimentary. I will see. Ah well,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy. According to a national survey,
this is the most popular New Year's resolution among Americans
for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
What does that start smoking?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I guess of the opposite out there?
Speaker 14 (28:11):
Now?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
What y'all got one? Eight hundred big show? You told
free line? We go to we get a winner. We
played John boyds epity. Next Good morning, there's a big
(28:46):
show on the radio. Thursday, January the second, twenty twenty five.
Our feature track went a big show bit bog all
of our on Tat's New Year's Romance. Search for keyword
tater romance. It's been at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
There right now, let's play Yes why across.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
America, It's John boy Te and now your host. He
didn't tune in for the Big Time Square rocking New
Year's Eve celebration.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
He says he's bored with it.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
He sees people at work drop the ball around him
all the time.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
He's John Hall maga as a head a Ron out
of Union Grove, Texas. Good morning, Run, Good morning.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Hellobody, welcome. All right, let's say we're doing good run.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
How are you? How's everything so far? Everything all right?
Good to hear?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Well, you got the first shot at John boy Jeopardy.
So we're looking at the national survey. This is the
most popular New Year's resolution among Americans for twenty twenty five.
You get the first shot out of Ron. What you think,
maybe look at one of yours?
Speaker 13 (29:59):
Stop smoking?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Stop smoking? Ah, so he said stop smokers at start.
Let's see.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
That wouldn't make more sense. I didn't mean to surprise you,
Taylor go back to what she was starting to look
it up.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
Ron.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Well, we appreciate you playing, buddy. You have a great day, y'all.
Speaker 7 (30:22):
Tell you that's the first time I've ever lost on y'all.
You know what I respect.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
You you lost.
Speaker 7 (30:31):
Honestly, I have respect that you lost without googling.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
You earned Randy's respect on your guests there, Ron, and
I'm sure you will win.
Speaker 13 (30:42):
Man.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's early this year that.
Speaker 5 (30:44):
Two times will get you a ball.
Speaker 7 (30:46):
Of gun where.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Oh, thank you, buddy, appreciate you who listens out there
hanging in with Let's go to uh Arthur.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
He's a brisk Tennessee. Good morning, Arthur.
Speaker 15 (31:03):
Oh, good morning John Moore.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
No Bundy, So Arthur, Old Ron down Union Grove with
little smoking. I'm sure that is still very popular. Matter
of fact, I'm looking that is that is number five
on the New Year's resolution list.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Is what they got?
Speaker 15 (31:17):
So I got one going right now?
Speaker 1 (31:20):
What do you think about number one there, Arthur?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Oh, save money saved, saving money, save money?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Better at that?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Okay, let's see look at you being in.
Speaker 12 (31:39):
Money?
Speaker 1 (31:43):
All right, good deal.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I might save some of the other lists to go
through them here at the first of the year.
Speaker 7 (31:49):
Yeah. I don't think they're gonna go away anytime.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
So, yeah, we know five was smogan one save more money?
Yeah we know. Bet all right, Well, let's hope everything
works out better this year.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
All right, I'd like to give a shout John boy
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yes, sir, go ahead, give a shout out.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
To John Boyne, Billy for forty years on the air,
coming up soon.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Well we appreciate you, are they glad you out there, buddy,
glad you want If you hang on, Jackie will hook
you up. I'll thank you, buddy.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Bottom of the hour, tell me your news.
Speaker 6 (32:27):
We look back in the most requesting songs and twenty
twenty boards.
Speaker 15 (32:31):
Know what Lucy are.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Top of the jars, ain't out? Good morning, it's a
(33:10):
big show on the radio. Then you into the diary
of Gary Musey's Here's New Year's Resolutions in less than
twenty minutes about some of our most requestioned tunes.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
That has to be one.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That is to be the wife of Dothan's most beloved
fast food mascot.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
She was very talented, Yeah, talented in.
Speaker 13 (33:33):
Her own roof.
Speaker 12 (33:34):
He's got skills.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Song, Yes, a bunch of faith.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
Look at those groupies that if that rab the pizza runt,
bunch of sorry cougars acting like they're on the hunts.
They know that he's spoken for, but they ain't got
no class. They keep getting hands in, then I'm going
over with their ass. They think they're hot, my baby,
(34:26):
they're not. They think they're hot, but they've got their shot,
and my god, that's got And if you touch him
out punch your faces.
Speaker 13 (34:44):
That's my guy. That's my guy.
Speaker 5 (34:46):
And if you touch him out, pound your face, Pa, Pa, Pa,
punch your face. Papa, punch your face. Pu punch your face,
Papa your face. They want to take them four a
roll between the sheets, they'll be disappointed. Just look at
(35:06):
those tiny feets. He's a celebrity. It must be lots
of fun. But if you come for my bad, honey,
better bring a gun. They think they're hot, but baby,
they're not. They think they're hot. They ain't got what
(35:30):
I got.
Speaker 13 (35:32):
That's not that's my guy.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
And if you touch them, O punch your face.
Speaker 13 (35:40):
That's my guy. That's not guy. And if you.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
Touch them, O punch your face.
Speaker 9 (35:48):
Huh, Papa, punch your face, pup, pup, punch your face,
Pa Pa, punch your face, Papa, punch your face.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
My my mother, so I know you plan on scoring.
You're just horrid, like a hunker. You're no looker. Keep
on trying you'll be crying in the gutter, diet. So
you chug with big lepido stepping off before I lay
you out. I promise you promise you my this fix
you idiot.
Speaker 13 (36:20):
That's my guy. That's my guy.
Speaker 11 (36:23):
Ed.
Speaker 5 (36:23):
If you touch them out, punch.
Speaker 7 (36:25):
Your face, that's my guy.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
That's my guy.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
And if you touch him out punch.
Speaker 13 (36:33):
Your face, you get.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
That is my little guy. And back in a punch
your face.
Speaker 15 (36:45):
That is my little guy.
Speaker 5 (36:47):
Get to step in out punch your face.
Speaker 17 (36:50):
We don't know.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
In your mouth or you're not, that's where they I'm
going to punch your face.
Speaker 15 (36:58):
You don't you cry or why?
Speaker 5 (37:03):
And if you do it, out punch your face.
Speaker 9 (37:09):
Pup, punch your face. Pop pu, punch your face, Pu Pu,
punch your face. Buck up, punch your face. Puck up,
punch your face by pup, punch your face, punch your facebook.
Punch your face, your face. Ba ba punch your face.
(37:29):
Punch your face. Pa Pa punched your face.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Okay, good morning. It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
World until your Thursday January. It is second. Let's do
it and now an entry into the Diary of Gary Busey.
Speaker 7 (38:18):
Dear Diary, this is Gary.
Speaker 12 (38:22):
Beauty Well, Diary, another year coming on, It's time to
reflect it, reassess one's personal life. Now being an Oscar
nominated Hollywood Luminario, I'm pretty perfect already, but there's always
a chance to get more perfect. So I've jotted down
(38:43):
a list of to dos to get done. Smoothing off
the rougher edges, no more pooping in shares hedges, no
more drugs or panty sniffing. I'll even be nice to
Kathy Griffin. Yeah, I'll be honest, Diary. I had a
(39:04):
hard time finding things to improve on. I had to
dig deep because that's what the great ones do. So
first off, I'm gonna stop being nice to Hollywood elites
that don't deserve it. No more of this gee that's
no white movie looks like a humdinger, Or I love
what you've done with the Star Wars franchise. In fact,
(39:28):
first the year, I'm gonna send Kursten Dunts to an
email fix the little baked bean teeth, you gobbling, getting honest,
getting true, giving warning to all of you. If you
stink or if you suck Gary's here, you're out of luck.
(39:51):
Not to brag, Diary, but I have a bit of
a reputation in Hollywood, a reputation of being morally flexible.
In my choice of female comp andion ship.
Speaker 15 (40:00):
Yeah yea, yea, yeah, yeah, yea yeah yeah, yet Hawk.
Speaker 12 (40:06):
My preferences do run a tad to the larger size ladies.
I see how to crush on Rebel Wilson, and she
went and got all spelt. So I started focusing on Lizzo, Lizzo, Lizo, and.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Then she went slim down. What the hell?
Speaker 12 (40:29):
How are all these heifers doing it? Wait a second,
I might be missing the point, Diary. Maybe it's me,
sweet fancy Moses Diary. I know what I'm gonna do.
By God, I need to start marketing myself as Hollywood's
weight loss secret. All utensil town heifers. Listen, watch them
extra pounds go missing, Mediam millennials and blubbery boomers. I
(40:52):
think I'll start with Amy Schumer. Hee. Oh no, bra,
Hollywood is a fickle mistress. Diary, You're only as good
as your last picture. Now, it's not well known that
I turned down several big roles like Chucky in Child's Play,
(41:14):
The State Puff marshmallow Man and Ghostbusters and the Horse
in the secretariat. Lots of reasons, not enough money, the
dialogue stunk, no makeouts with the leading lady meow, but
no more Diary, and I'm starting.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
This year off right.
Speaker 12 (41:34):
I just landed the lead in Sharknado ten Shark Nudo.
This can't miss Sharks in the nwdest Colony. Craziest thing
you ever did see. All that skin makes him even meaner.
Watch out, they don't bite that wiener. We're gonna need
a bigger shark, hardy, hard hard. Check out my scar.
(41:56):
Whoopsie Well, Diary, I gots the ski daddle. I'm having
a weight loss consultation with Melissa McCarthy. Another one bats
the dust. Until next time, Diary, x'es and o's Gary.
Speaker 9 (42:19):
Music.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Good day.
Speaker 16 (42:34):
You're old pal Stevie, No, not the former idiot intern,
the crocodile Stalker. And you're listening to my two favorite
bones of mates, John Boy and Billy on the big show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this neck of studio.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Hey, what's this wire for? Good morning? This will make
(43:28):
show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I just want to mind y'all the holidays, things settling
down there.
Speaker 7 (43:35):
What you want to do?
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I want reminds you about James Gregory, the late James Gregory.
His book is out, A Bushel of Beans and a
Peck of Tomatoes, The Life and Times of the Funniest
Man in America. Our Big Show listeners to James with
us many years. You'll I want to look at this
book man, Funniestman dot Com James website and uh, you
(43:58):
got something while they as got a bookmark that James
and autograph. He had a chance to read it and
even talk about the the forward of the book. But
Jim lay down and they got free shipping for you
as well. I think that's still going on.
Speaker 8 (44:13):
We've got copies of the book to start giving away
this year in the next few days that actually do
have the bookmark.
Speaker 7 (44:19):
With the autogram.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Okay, awesome. So if you want to go hang get yours.
Count on winning a game here on the Big Show,
Go the Funniestman dot Com. Married Man is in a
spotlight this morning. He's up next for We Beat the Blonde.
Big Show rolls on Good Morning, Got the Big Show
on the radio. Hang on for married Man First, let
me tell you about the prize back you can win
(44:42):
if you beat the Blonde. It's a big old Redmax
prize pack. Red Max got the best trimmers and blowers
and commercial zero turn moores out of two year unlimited
hours Warning Kawasaka Engines heavy dude who fabricated decks mode
like a pro with Red Maax. Hang on Playboar ten
minutes
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
You got the big show on already, all more chances
for you to win coming up after your.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
News, weather and sports.
Speaker 4 (00:06):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve racking they are. I don't even complain when they
(00:28):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory foam pillow and
stop telling his kids that's where the comet hits.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Y'all can do the do up and Adam say Hey,
the Thursday, January second, twenty and twenty five.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
X s Fack Babes, we hot dogs, beat.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
We work.
Speaker 6 (01:36):
Let's celebrate twenty twenty five starting right now.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Alright, y'all National Buffet Day if you didn't get enough
to eat over the holidays, National Science Fiction Day. They
getting into that National Personal Trainer Awareness Day. Randy were
discussing you old, you want to lose weight in the
(02:01):
New Years, And Randy's trying to tell me that that
lifting weights are getting muscles doesn't help.
Speaker 7 (02:08):
It's not gonna help you lose weight.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You know, I'm gonna help.
Speaker 8 (02:11):
It will help your heart, and it'll help your attitude,
your brain, you're all that.
Speaker 7 (02:16):
And these are not my findings. These are scientific findings
I have seen.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Well remember Pam and when I was on my kick,
when I was when I was lifting heavy things. Yeah, well,
hold on, this was his I'm scrolling back, his personal.
Speaker 7 (02:33):
Trainer that he gifted to me.
Speaker 9 (02:36):
I gut so.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Tired of her to get out house measures making me
eat all healthy food.
Speaker 7 (02:43):
My door.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Go well, Brandy, I'll get you started cooking for you.
That was like the best. But it did work.
Speaker 10 (02:55):
Man.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But you told me that muscles ate up fat, so
you know, she said yeah, yeah. So when I was
trying to argue with about I want to do this
my legs and my legs ain't fat, she said, well
you get them muscles in your thigh.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
She would have taken me more seriously if I had
to use a different.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Voice, the Hall of Fame radio boss.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Hey, wat's the monter with you to meet electos? Wait,
my legs were fired.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
The worst gonna have handsome legs.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
It was legs like that. I had a message Todd
turn the focus away from you.
Speaker 11 (03:37):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
That's where it works.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
On National Personal Trainer Awareness Day, be aware and like
move around them.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
National Cream Puff Day.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
What Barney was called the sign that letter to get
Ellie Walker elected if y'all missed that during the November elections.
So okay, so we got three days in history saved up.
Y'all wake up and catch up with me. I'm doing
some good stuff right here. Get the humor is over
twenty twenty five and we'll get the winning beginning in minutes.
(04:13):
Big shows on a radio. Good morning, Big Show is
on a radio. First prize pack here or twenty twenty five.
How about a bird tea County peanuts Southern tradition for
over one hundred years. Prize pack. We introduced these to
you before Christmas. So now if you didn't get around
(04:34):
to it, kind of busy, get to the Big Show
dot com. Click on that bird tea County Peanuts banner
intercode JBB. You check out, get twenty five percent off,
plus you still got that free shipping. All right. Listen,
numb right here. You got three dates in history, but
we got our categories. You canna win that High nineteen
(04:55):
twenty one, religious services were broadcast on radio for the time.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It was Katie Ka and Pittsburgh are the.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Regular Sunday service of the city's Cavalry Episcopal Church.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
I was uh.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Broadcasting, let me say, I was running the first Presbyterian
Church of Burlington, North Carolina. Was my first official radio gig.
Is Honday morning doing that?
Speaker 7 (05:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Back in the day is what would deal?
Speaker 12 (05:20):
What?
Speaker 10 (05:21):
You know?
Speaker 7 (05:21):
What I ran on Sunday morning was Arthur Smith?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Oh man? Is that right?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
That's what I told you? As a family churs, as
a man, the all Presbyterians. I got no good music.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
My mama was a choir director Andrews Memorial Baptist Church
and lead singer Rainbow Trio. Man, y'all know my mama.
I'm telling everybody else beautiful voice. Okay, let's move up
to nineteen thirty six. Burmashave erected roadside signs out the
US promising free, free a trip to Mars for nine
hundred empty jars.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Now you're aware of this, you researched it. What was
the deal on that?
Speaker 2 (05:57):
So somebody finally set because he said he'd collected nine
hundred jars and wanted his free trip to Mars, and
then he settled when Burmasheave supplied a spacesuit and flew
him to Mars, Germany. Here you go, see, okay, No,
you had it all here, all right. I had a
little footnote there for you. And finally, in two thousand
(06:19):
and two, a robbery attempt ended abruptly in Brooklyn, New York.
Won suspects pulled a gun accidentally shot his partner in
the butt, all right, and they were attempting to rob
an insurance office.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
By the way, I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Know there's some link that's be funny in that, but
I just don't feel like searching shot in the butt,
he said, all right.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
I think that was it, all right.
Speaker 12 (06:45):
Good.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
So there's our three dates and hits her our three
categories one eight hundred big shows, she told free Line.
We play outbursts next good Thursday morning, January is second
(07:23):
twenty and twenty five Big shows on the radio.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Build a New Year's John Bomilly album.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I've big show, Big Box featured track, Shouldn't.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Got drink Goffer right Warver in the market.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Oliver on Tator's New Year's Romance Hilarious.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
There's her keyword tator romance.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
There's a big box at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Let's get the.
Speaker 13 (07:51):
Uppers. Let's play uppers. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 10 (07:57):
Shon boys, bully, get prizes from the big Prize p
Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 13 (08:06):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing outbers. Have the murry up and guest time, you
have the best time. You have a big shots.
Speaker 14 (08:18):
Let's say, hey to Elise from Benwood, West Virginia, we
have shots.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Good morning Elise, Good morning guys.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Hello, welcome in here, happy near.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Alright, Elise, Well, let's say if you can claim the
first prize back of twenty twenty five that bird T
County paints. All right, let's focus in five seconds. Three
things you hear on the radio ready to.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Go, music, news and weather. Hello, you're talking.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
You could take but no man, now, yes, you got it.
It was hurting me personally for some reason, Lord Alisa,
in honor of the Burma shave, how about three things
you shave ready to go.
Speaker 15 (09:27):
Face, legs, and arm.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I'll take you word for it.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
Oh you threw you that.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
It was just three things you shave. Well, right, So
for the wind. Let me see, uh Robert shot his
partner in the butt con They butt categories. It was
an insurance office. All right, there we go, three insurance
companies ready go.
Speaker 15 (10:00):
Off state nationwide in Geico.
Speaker 16 (10:03):
Look at you.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Le's the bird team counting Peanuts prize park. You are
gonna think about us for a long time after the
eating these bad boys.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Baby, congratulations, Thank you all.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Happy New Years, Happy New Year.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
I ort to feel like mission accomplishes da bottom money hour. Oh,
Randy gets you say it's it's time for the news.
Speaker 13 (10:31):
That's helpful, Randys do that.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
We do a time cap on the other side of
the rum.
Speaker 17 (11:05):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It's time for dumb crook news, dumb kirch story's belief
The newspapers wire services across America senting by you the
Big Show listener and the address will follow this report.
Police in Garrisonville, Virginia arrested a cow for stealing milk
from a local walmart. Okay, it wasn't a real cow.
(11:43):
It was a guy in a cow suit. Oh that
makes sense.
Speaker 7 (11:48):
Made off with.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Twenty six gallons of milk from the store. When does
it say he left the store and began handing out
gallon jugs to people in the parking lot.
Speaker 15 (11:57):
So he's like the robin Hood of cows was.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
It was last scene by store employees kimping down the
side walking his cowsuit.
Speaker 7 (12:06):
Moo moo, moo.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Well he's responding to an unrelated call. Ran into the
suspect at a nearby McDonald's. He was back in people
closed by them, but the cowsuit was recovered from the
man's car.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Well ah utterly rediguous killer.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Clothes.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
At Okaloosa, Florida, man was arrested for visiting a local
strip club. The man had been banned for life from
Club fifty one over an incident back in February. When
they showed up again this month, the club's owner called
the cops. The man told police it was all a
big misunderstanding. He knew had been banned for life, but
thought the band was from Sammy's, a different local strip club.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
You know, I get around so much it's hard to remember.
It was arrested for trespassing anyway, keen one, you've seen
him all.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Wow. Every woman in Melbourne of Australia was arrested for
dui near the police station. She told the arrestling officer
she had decided to drive because she had just gotten
a new set of teeth and wanted to try him
out at a nearby KFC.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Could not resist that one.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
A man in Bridgeport, Connecticut was arrested in connection with
the theft of a fifty gallon drum of gasoline. The
suspect dumped the contents and tried to sell the empty
drum to a scrap metal dealer. His asking price for
the drum sixty dollars value of the gasoline he dumped
out of it two hundred dollars.
Speaker 7 (13:37):
Probably didn't keep up with the latest from apparently.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
A pharmacist in Pascal Goula, Mississippi says the guy who
broke into his drug store doesn't know beans about crime
or drugs. The thief grabbed what he thought was a
large bottle of the prescription pain reliever Lord Tab for
the drug store had been broken into several times in
recent months, and Lord Tab was always low the choice,
so the pharmacist replaced the pills and the bottle with
(14:04):
red kidney beans.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I'm not getting a buzz at all here, but I'm
getting regular. I got some guess I hear they're good
for your heart.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
A nurse at a Minneapolis hospital has resigned and faces
criminal charges for stealing a vial of IVY pain killers
while at a patient at the hospital was undergoing kidney
stone surgery. When the victim complained about the pain, the
nurse reporter that reportedly told him to man up.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Man oh Man, there ain't nothing funny about Kenney.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
A professor at George Washington University was honored at the
halftime of a recent basketball game for his financial generosity
to the school, but the guests of honor didn't make
it to the end of the game.
Speaker 7 (14:55):
He was thrown out of the arena in.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
The second half or harassing a referee over the qual
of his officiating.
Speaker 15 (15:01):
So well, you know what they say. Money hit by class.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And when an eighteen year old Massachusetts college student got
his laptop stolen, the computer savvy victim called the cops,
then decided to do a little high tech detective work
on his own. The student used a remote access program
to contact his laptop and search for clues to the crime.
One of the clues was a video of the thief
performing some pretty lame dance moves to a hip hop track.
(15:29):
The victim grabbed the video and posted it on YouTube
under the title don't steal computers from people who know
how to use computers. The clip racked up seven hundred
thousand hits along with an arrest warrant for the thief.
The victim reports of the thief is posted an online
apology begging him to take the video down, which I'm
(15:51):
not going to do. He's not in a position to
bargain now. Dumb political news. President Obama was recently presented
with an award, but you probably didn't hear about it
on the news. That's because the presentation was not on
the White House schedule for the day. There were no
photos or press releases issued, and no mention of the
(16:11):
ceremony on the official White House website. By the way,
the award was an honor of the President's commitment to
transparency and openness with members of the press.
Speaker 7 (16:23):
He can't make us.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
And finally, the manager of a grocery store in the
British territory of Jersey admitted the store had overcharged a
customer by five British pounds that's about eight US dollars,
and he was issuing a refund. The customer says that
while weighing up the vegetivals he was purchasing, the female
clerk had leaned over too far, causing her sizeable boobies
(16:48):
to press.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Down on the scale.
Speaker 7 (16:56):
Leave it alone, you got dumb.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Here is mailed to Dumb Court News, John Boy, Billy
and Pilbox seventy six sixty three, Charlotte, NC two eight
two four one, or email anybody but me at the
Big Show dot com.
Speaker 17 (17:11):
John Boyan Dilly, Good Morning Radio, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Well, good morning.
Speaker 6 (17:43):
Here we are Thursday morning, January second, Lesac, Hello friends,
you're all palp bird Fern Here with another missiletone mangling
edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 12 (17:56):
Today's episode Christmas with the Sharps. As our story opens,
Ricky B. Sharp arrives home after a long Christmas Eve
shift at Pizza Runt Number one in Dothan, Alabama. I'd say,
and she's a big eater, but she ain't putting down
the fork.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Fork.
Speaker 12 (18:14):
Chout out, girl, go ahead, chout out so Lucy, Lucy,
I'm home.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Hi.
Speaker 12 (18:21):
What sort of greeting is that for your favorite celebrity
head of the household?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
Well, it's almost midnight. I had dinner ready at six
so we could have a nice Christmas Eve together.
Speaker 12 (18:37):
Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, When are you going to realize that,
as Dothan's most beloved fast food mascot, I have certain obligations.
Speaker 10 (18:47):
Now.
Speaker 12 (18:47):
It just so happens that Fatso Jackson oded on black
licorice and couldn't make it to play Santy Claus, so
I had to take a spot, and my legs are
killing me.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Well, of course they are all the kids sitting on
your lap or twice your size. Eh, another little lump
of old comedy coal in the stocking.
Speaker 12 (19:10):
But for your information, I finally got your Christmas present.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
Oh brother, I can't wait.
Speaker 12 (19:18):
What the hell is that supposed to me?
Speaker 5 (19:21):
Ricky, no offense, but you're a terrible gift giver.
Speaker 12 (19:25):
What bigo?
Speaker 5 (19:27):
Since when three years ago I was complained about our appliances.
I told you I'd like to see something in the
kitchen I ain't seed before, and you got me a mirror.
Speaker 12 (19:39):
What hell?
Speaker 15 (19:41):
I ain't a mind reader.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
A year after that, I asked for something to worm
my heart. You got me a gift certificate to Greasy
Garry's Tacoteria.
Speaker 12 (19:50):
And you got heartburned to beat the man missing accomplished. Man,
You women are never happy.
Speaker 5 (19:57):
Okay, So this year you asked for my Christmas list,
I gave you a note with one said it sold.
Speaker 12 (20:04):
It did that, yes, ma'am, yes, and I got it
right here. It said nothing would make me happier than
a diamond necklace.
Speaker 15 (20:11):
And that's rot.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
But I got holded by breath.
Speaker 15 (20:14):
You won't have to, hod.
Speaker 12 (20:18):
Ricky, go on open it.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
Oh it's so excited. Oh wait a second, that dad
good box is empty.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 12 (20:30):
You said nothing would make you happier than a diamond necklace.
Speaker 15 (20:33):
So here nothing.
Speaker 12 (20:41):
And how we hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 5 (20:46):
I want a divorce.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
No way, that's too expensive.
Speaker 12 (20:50):
Tune in next time when we'll hear fatso Jackson at
the dollar lickorice store.
Speaker 15 (20:54):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Good morning, lot more, big show coming.
Speaker 15 (21:01):
Up, John Boy, Big Big Show, goes Picky. I'm Matthew.
Speaker 18 (21:04):
Oh, Marcel, you picked an awful time to call. Well,
listen to the radio. We're right in the middle of
a new intro. You boobe, no, no, not, you're racing
fat Boy pull up a couple of chairs and hit down.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
Listen. I gotta go make coffee for the boys.
Speaker 18 (21:21):
So they can go on making that audio magic known
as the John Boy Baby Big Show.
Speaker 11 (21:25):
Carry on, Drake Peepa, you're.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Going as to make show on the radio. Here we
are Thursday in January and the second College Football Playoffs,
well they might mean lord to you now, depending on
how your team's doing. And Bob Aybach told us about
the night Co Sports full sized football fully licensed limited
edition of five thousand for the twelve teams that begin
(22:29):
the CFP Playoffs, one of their full color logos of
each and then they got to listen to all the
twelve teams and the full color bowl logos for the
six bowls hosting playoffs. You just gotta look at it, man,
it's one of them them Nigo Sports footballs that we
give you a chance at. So a limited edition of
(22:51):
five thousand was made each fully and bossed football price
at one nineteen ninety five. There's fully licensed, the only
one there with that limited edition and the individually numbered.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Certificate of authenticity. Of course.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Okay, night GHO Sports. We got the link at the
Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Click on that.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Inn call eight hundred three four five twenty eight sixty eight,
eight hundred three four five twenty eight sixty eight. It
might be the last shot again them while they last.
I click the link at the Big Show dot Com.
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. We got us
a married Man first of the year. We go through
(23:34):
our most requested songs of the year and our most
requested character. Can you see my air quotes of the
Big Show? A married man wins some of the classic
married men episodes. Today, we're gonna get with one right here. First,
first prize pack we are gonna play for John Boydgepardy,
one of those Happy Herd packages. Of course, Happy Herd
(23:57):
makes top quality attractors, mentals.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
And feed but dear bearing hogs.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Click on the abbey er at banner the Big Show
dot Com intercode JBB and you'll get Timmerson off of
check out.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Hi, let's get it going.
Speaker 10 (24:17):
My Redman, My Redman drives around in a minivan, god
a wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes to my red Man.
Speaker 13 (24:31):
House.
Speaker 10 (24:31):
He feeld listen, dude, this poor guy's really screaming hanging on.
Speaker 13 (24:37):
Buy a bread cord of milk, loaf of bread.
Speaker 10 (24:40):
Hey, there there goes for married man, got a big
gas grill, buys his clothes at the gap, and he's
just about hanging on this card.
Speaker 13 (24:54):
My redman, My redman, friendly neighborhood. Married man life has
nothing life. I'll let him do what they she says,
that's how about time he grew. Well, there's a screw you'll.
Speaker 19 (25:10):
Find them married nine last time married mine encountered as
all Powell college buddy who suggested our hero have a
little fun by flirting with the attractive young lady at
the grocery store check out Kata. Our hero rose to
the occasion in his patented married man style. Oo married,
I'm happily married. I've never cheated on my wife in
(25:30):
my entire life. I don't intend to start now. I'm married,
I tell you married.
Speaker 15 (25:36):
Excuse me.
Speaker 19 (25:37):
I just remembered a couple of things I forgot to get.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Hell.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Well, very smooth, you were right, you've still got it.
Speaker 19 (25:46):
Hey, I may be a costume crusader, but I'm still
a human being.
Speaker 15 (25:50):
She tempted me with her feminine wilds.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
All she said was paper or plastic.
Speaker 15 (25:55):
Yeah, Well, with these women today who knows what that
might mean.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Not come on, admitted, men, you've lost your touch. Your
wife runs your life. Man, it happens. It doesn't mean
your life is over. It just means it's not that
interesting anymore.
Speaker 15 (26:10):
That's not true. I run my own life. I don't
let women push me around. Yeah right, I'll prove it.
Speaker 19 (26:16):
I'll go right back over there to that register right
now and check out, and then I'm gonna.
Speaker 15 (26:21):
Go back home and watch the ball game. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 19 (26:25):
I'm a man, I spell m a child and nah,
watch me work, mister skeptic.
Speaker 12 (26:34):
Hi find everything you needed?
Speaker 19 (26:35):
Oh yeah, sorry about that pathetic outburst a minute ago.
Speaker 12 (26:40):
Did you see how much these were?
Speaker 8 (26:42):
They don't have a price.
Speaker 15 (26:44):
No, but I'll be glad to walk over and check
for you.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Oh that's all right, I can check for you.
Speaker 15 (26:48):
Oh, no problem. I can be there and back in
a flash. Really No, No, that's all the way in
the back of the store.
Speaker 12 (26:54):
I'll get somebody to run back there for you.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Christ check twelve pack.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Campac super Maxy open pads.
Speaker 14 (27:01):
With wings for the guy the cave right here, sir,
Anything wrong?
Speaker 17 (27:07):
Oh?
Speaker 19 (27:07):
I was just watching what passes for my life flash
before my eyes. Well, married man be able to survive
the greatest humiliation of his costume career. And that thing
with the ballgame, was he just blowing smoke? That too, answers.
In our next sphincter titaning adventure, Same married time, Same
married channel.
Speaker 13 (27:29):
There's a school you'll find the.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Married man, Yes he had the mand remains another episode
coming up. And then we go to one of the
most requested songs and look is our own tailor here?
Find out what that is the bottom of the hour.
Speaker 8 (27:48):
I bet it's not complimentary. I will see. Ah well,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy. According to a national survey,
this is the most popular New Year's resolution among Americans
for twenty twenty five.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
What does that start smoking?
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I guess of the opposite out there?
Speaker 14 (28:11):
Now?
Speaker 2 (28:11):
What y'all got one? Eight hundred big show? You told
free line? We go to we get a winner. We
played John boyds epity. Next Good morning, there's a big
(28:46):
show on the radio. Thursday, January the second, twenty twenty five.
Our feature track went a big show bit bog all
of our on Tat's New Year's Romance. Search for keyword
tater romance. It's been at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
There right now, let's play Yes why across.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
America, It's John boy Te and now your host. He
didn't tune in for the Big Time Square rocking New
Year's Eve celebration.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
He says he's bored with it.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
He sees people at work drop the ball around him
all the time.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
He's John Hall maga as a head a Ron out
of Union Grove, Texas. Good morning, Run, Good morning.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Hellobody, welcome. All right, let's say we're doing good run.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
How are you? How's everything so far? Everything all right?
Good to hear?
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Well, you got the first shot at John boy Jeopardy.
So we're looking at the national survey. This is the
most popular New Year's resolution among Americans for twenty twenty five.
You get the first shot out of Ron. What you think,
maybe look at one of yours?
Speaker 13 (29:59):
Stop smoking?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Stop smoking? Ah, so he said stop smokers at start.
Let's see.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
That wouldn't make more sense. I didn't mean to surprise you,
Taylor go back to what she was starting to look
it up.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
Ron.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Well, we appreciate you playing, buddy. You have a great day, y'all.
Speaker 7 (30:22):
Tell you that's the first time I've ever lost on y'all.
You know what I respect.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
You you lost.
Speaker 7 (30:31):
Honestly, I have respect that you lost without googling.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
You earned Randy's respect on your guests there, Ron, and
I'm sure you will win.
Speaker 13 (30:42):
Man.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's early this year that.
Speaker 5 (30:44):
Two times will get you a ball.
Speaker 7 (30:46):
Of gun where.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Oh, thank you, buddy, appreciate you who listens out there
hanging in with Let's go to uh Arthur.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
He's a brisk Tennessee. Good morning, Arthur.
Speaker 15 (31:03):
Oh, good morning John Moore.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
No Bundy, So Arthur, Old Ron down Union Grove with
little smoking. I'm sure that is still very popular. Matter
of fact, I'm looking that is that is number five
on the New Year's resolution list.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Is what they got?
Speaker 15 (31:17):
So I got one going right now?
Speaker 1 (31:20):
What do you think about number one there, Arthur?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Oh, save money saved, saving money, save money?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Better at that?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Okay, let's see look at you being in.
Speaker 12 (31:39):
Money?
Speaker 1 (31:43):
All right, good deal.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I might save some of the other lists to go
through them here at the first of the year.
Speaker 7 (31:49):
Yeah. I don't think they're gonna go away anytime.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
So, yeah, we know five was smogan one save more money?
Yeah we know. Bet all right, Well, let's hope everything
works out better this year.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
All right, I'd like to give a shout John boy
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yes, sir, go ahead, give a shout out.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
To John Boyne, Billy for forty years on the air,
coming up soon.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Well we appreciate you, are they glad you out there, buddy,
glad you want If you hang on, Jackie will hook
you up. I'll thank you, buddy.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Bottom of the hour, tell me your news.
Speaker 6 (32:27):
We look back in the most requesting songs and twenty
twenty boards.
Speaker 15 (32:31):
Know what Lucy are.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Top of the jars, ain't out? Good morning, it's a
(33:10):
big show on the radio. Then you into the diary
of Gary Musey's Here's New Year's Resolutions in less than
twenty minutes about some of our most requestioned tunes.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
That has to be one.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
That is to be the wife of Dothan's most beloved
fast food mascot.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
She was very talented, Yeah, talented in.
Speaker 13 (33:33):
Her own roof.
Speaker 12 (33:34):
He's got skills.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Song, Yes, a bunch of faith.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
Look at those groupies that if that rab the pizza runt,
bunch of sorry cougars acting like they're on the hunts.
They know that he's spoken for, but they ain't got
no class. They keep getting hands in, then I'm going
over with their ass. They think they're hot, my baby,
(34:26):
they're not. They think they're hot, but they've got their shot,
and my god, that's got And if you touch him
out punch your faces.
Speaker 13 (34:44):
That's my guy. That's my guy.
Speaker 5 (34:46):
And if you touch him out, pound your face, Pa, Pa, Pa,
punch your face. Papa, punch your face. Pu punch your face,
Papa your face. They want to take them four a
roll between the sheets, they'll be disappointed. Just look at
(35:06):
those tiny feets. He's a celebrity. It must be lots
of fun. But if you come for my bad, honey,
better bring a gun. They think they're hot, but baby,
they're not. They think they're hot. They ain't got what
(35:30):
I got.
Speaker 13 (35:32):
That's not that's my guy.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
And if you touch them, O punch your face.
Speaker 13 (35:40):
That's my guy. That's not guy. And if you.
Speaker 5 (35:43):
Touch them, O punch your face.
Speaker 9 (35:48):
Huh, Papa, punch your face, pup, pup, punch your face,
Pa Pa, punch your face, Papa, punch your face.
Speaker 5 (36:00):
My my mother, so I know you plan on scoring.
You're just horrid, like a hunker. You're no looker. Keep
on trying you'll be crying in the gutter, diet. So
you chug with big lepido stepping off before I lay
you out. I promise you promise you my this fix
you idiot.
Speaker 13 (36:20):
That's my guy. That's my guy.
Speaker 11 (36:23):
Ed.
Speaker 5 (36:23):
If you touch them out, punch.
Speaker 7 (36:25):
Your face, that's my guy.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
That's my guy.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
And if you touch him out punch.
Speaker 13 (36:33):
Your face, you get.
Speaker 5 (36:37):
That is my little guy. And back in a punch
your face.
Speaker 15 (36:45):
That is my little guy.
Speaker 5 (36:47):
Get to step in out punch your face.
Speaker 17 (36:50):
We don't know.
Speaker 5 (36:53):
In your mouth or you're not, that's where they I'm
going to punch your face.
Speaker 15 (36:58):
You don't you cry or why?
Speaker 5 (37:03):
And if you do it, out punch your face.
Speaker 9 (37:09):
Pup, punch your face. Pop pu, punch your face, Pu Pu,
punch your face. Buck up, punch your face. Puck up,
punch your face by pup, punch your face, punch your facebook.
Punch your face, your face. Ba ba punch your face.
(37:29):
Punch your face. Pa Pa punched your face.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Okay, good morning. It's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
World until your Thursday January. It is second. Let's do
it and now an entry into the Diary of Gary Busey.
Speaker 7 (38:18):
Dear Diary, this is Gary.
Speaker 12 (38:22):
Beauty Well, Diary, another year coming on, It's time to
reflect it, reassess one's personal life. Now being an Oscar
nominated Hollywood Luminario, I'm pretty perfect already, but there's always
a chance to get more perfect. So I've jotted down
(38:43):
a list of to dos to get done. Smoothing off
the rougher edges, no more pooping in shares hedges, no
more drugs or panty sniffing. I'll even be nice to
Kathy Griffin. Yeah, I'll be honest, Diary. I had a
(39:04):
hard time finding things to improve on. I had to
dig deep because that's what the great ones do. So
first off, I'm gonna stop being nice to Hollywood elites
that don't deserve it. No more of this gee that's
no white movie looks like a humdinger, Or I love
what you've done with the Star Wars franchise. In fact,
(39:28):
first the year, I'm gonna send Kursten Dunts to an
email fix the little baked bean teeth, you gobbling, getting honest,
getting true, giving warning to all of you. If you
stink or if you suck Gary's here, you're out of luck.
(39:51):
Not to brag, Diary, but I have a bit of
a reputation in Hollywood, a reputation of being morally flexible.
In my choice of female comp andion ship.
Speaker 15 (40:00):
Yeah yea, yea, yeah, yeah, yea yeah yeah, yet Hawk.
Speaker 12 (40:06):
My preferences do run a tad to the larger size ladies.
I see how to crush on Rebel Wilson, and she
went and got all spelt. So I started focusing on Lizzo, Lizzo, Lizo, and.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Then she went slim down. What the hell?
Speaker 12 (40:29):
How are all these heifers doing it? Wait a second,
I might be missing the point, Diary. Maybe it's me,
sweet fancy Moses Diary. I know what I'm gonna do.
By God, I need to start marketing myself as Hollywood's
weight loss secret. All utensil town heifers. Listen, watch them
extra pounds go missing, Mediam millennials and blubbery boomers. I
(40:52):
think I'll start with Amy Schumer. Hee. Oh no, bra,
Hollywood is a fickle mistress. Diary, You're only as good
as your last picture. Now, it's not well known that
I turned down several big roles like Chucky in Child's Play,
(41:14):
The State Puff marshmallow Man and Ghostbusters and the Horse
in the secretariat. Lots of reasons, not enough money, the
dialogue stunk, no makeouts with the leading lady meow, but
no more Diary, and I'm starting.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
This year off right.
Speaker 12 (41:34):
I just landed the lead in Sharknado ten Shark Nudo.
This can't miss Sharks in the nwdest Colony. Craziest thing
you ever did see. All that skin makes him even meaner.
Watch out, they don't bite that wiener. We're gonna need
a bigger shark, hardy, hard hard. Check out my scar.
(41:56):
Whoopsie Well, Diary, I gots the ski daddle. I'm having
a weight loss consultation with Melissa McCarthy. Another one bats
the dust. Until next time, Diary, x'es and o's Gary.
Speaker 9 (42:19):
Music.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
Good day.
Speaker 16 (42:34):
You're old pal Stevie, No, not the former idiot intern,
the crocodile Stalker. And you're listening to my two favorite
bones of mates, John Boy and Billy on the big show.
I'll tell you it's nice to be high and dry
and safe and sound in this neck of studio.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Hey, what's this wire for? Good morning? This will make
(43:28):
show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
I just want to mind y'all the holidays, things settling
down there.
Speaker 7 (43:35):
What you want to do?
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I want reminds you about James Gregory, the late James Gregory.
His book is out, A Bushel of Beans and a
Peck of Tomatoes, The Life and Times of the Funniest
Man in America. Our Big Show listeners to James with
us many years. You'll I want to look at this
book man, Funniestman dot Com James website and uh, you
(43:58):
got something while they as got a bookmark that James
and autograph. He had a chance to read it and
even talk about the the forward of the book. But
Jim lay down and they got free shipping for you
as well. I think that's still going on.
Speaker 8 (44:13):
We've got copies of the book to start giving away
this year in the next few days that actually do
have the bookmark.
Speaker 7 (44:19):
With the autogram.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Okay, awesome. So if you want to go hang get yours.
Count on winning a game here on the Big Show,
Go the Funniestman dot Com. Married Man is in a
spotlight this morning. He's up next for We Beat the Blonde.
Big Show rolls on Good Morning, Got the Big Show
on the radio. Hang on for married Man First, let
me tell you about the prize back you can win
(44:42):
if you beat the Blonde. It's a big old Redmax
prize pack. Red Max got the best trimmers and blowers
and commercial zero turn moores out of two year unlimited
hours Warning Kawasaka Engines heavy dude who fabricated decks mode
like a pro with Red Maax. Hang on Playboar ten
minutes
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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