October 31, 2024 • 43 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Happy Halloween!.. - Oliver goes candy shopping.. - Hoyt and the boys render their classic, “Trailer Park Halloween”.. - Doug Rice tells us why Martinsville is the perfect place for the Round of 8 finale and who it could favor among those still battling in the playoffs.. - we reanimate a Halloween themed John Boy & Billy Playhouse, featuring the late, great Dub Starnes.. - and we’ll round out the day with the Grumpy Old Man…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good more than everybody more big show to come. Hang
where you are, yo?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (00:07):
This is ike and for all of five one one
you need on all things redneck.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
Just check out my.
Speaker 5 (00:14):
Two favorite crackers, John bro and Bidley right here on
the Big Show. I listened to something else my own self,
but white boy Patrick Gunn broke off the.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Knob in the Cadillac. Never mind pets out.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Sugar down sugar now now how about Ogga Doodle Newssna
(01:11):
sugar now? Now, whatever it takes, it gets you away.
Let's work on it. It's October thirty first, so well,
no Halloween twenty four ready with the little trigger treaters
(01:32):
coming to your doors.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
November first is such an awesome day because the candy
is on.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Sale, that's right.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh man, Yeah, I thought that one.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
That'd be a good idea.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Let's just buy a bunch of candy at these great prices,
and what'll have it for next Halloween? Yeah, I know
what you're housing.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I'm gonna make you know, like Thursday.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I thought you were gonna go with.
Speaker 7 (01:58):
I buy the candy that I don't like, so I
won't eat it before Halloween.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
It works out like that.
Speaker 8 (02:05):
I don't think we've found a candy he won't eat
so far.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Well, we got through Candy corn Day yesterday. I still
like me some candy corn.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Let's say hear Halloween national days all artist Halloween. So
you got National doorbell Day, that makes sense. National Caramel
Apple Day. It's been a while since had a caramel
a candy that's different than the k are.
Speaker 6 (02:31):
I like that both messy.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Gotta go to the State Fair to get them. Make them.
National knock Knock Joke Day.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Everybody knows a knock knock joke, no matter how young
you are, you know, teaching.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Your little toddler or knock knock joke. It'll be one.
What's what's the first one that I got?
Speaker 6 (02:50):
What I don't know?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Dwayne?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yeah, Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne in the bathtub, I'm drowning.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
The cornist knock knock? Who's there? Boo boo? Why are
you crying? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I would go, well, if you're gonna cry about it,
I'm not gonna tell you. But that's your the that's
a lot better.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
That's why he gets the big.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Who was National Magic Day as well on this Halloween
and this Girl Scout's Founder Day. What those girl scout
cookies in there, but drinking treat that'll be good. I
wonder why, because I guess you buy them.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
You ain't gonna give him what well they frown on
unwrapped cookies. I guess you're right. Oh right.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
We got three days in this sort saved up. We'll
get the first prize back out. You know what we do,
we get the winning beginning. We're awake. Big Joe's on
the radio. Good morning, I got the Big Show on
the radio. Let's see what our first listener player can win.
Maybe I'll go back to Bend and start overloads.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Knock, knock, who's there?
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Prize bags? What I'm trying to get out of my mouth?
Tap down right with grease playing behind you. What can
we win?
Speaker 7 (04:13):
We can win one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull Snot cleaning products made right here in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving, and bull Snot makes sure
that they look good doing it. Look for Bullsnot at
truck stops across America, or you can download the Bullsnot app.
Go to the Big Show dot com click on the
Bullsnipe Bullsnut banner there for more information.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Always could be worse.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Knock knock, Thank you very bus bars and let's get
you set up with the categories. It was October thirty first,
nineteen eighty six, well the first time Universal Studios in
Hollywood opened at night.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Halloween.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Har Night featured Dracula, the Mummy, King Kong, the Creature
from the Black Lagoon, the Wolfman, and Rick dees Wreck
one of his had his disco duck outfit on.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Maybe that's what it was scary.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Oh nineteen ninety one, at their Halloween wedding Jane and
Dale Peters in the Madison, Wisconsin where Mary dressed is
Frankenstein in the Bride of Frankenstein. Very creative. At the reception,
the champagne was chilled in the coffin.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
You just go find this scoopy up a cup.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Alright.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Finally, nineteen ninety two, Regina Johnson, Michael Green, and Daniel
Salsado displayed history's largest jack O'Lantern in nut Tree, California.
It's about right, carved the day before from an eight
hundred and twenty seven pound punkin the previous records was
(05:54):
eight hundred and sixteen pounds.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
I'm amazed they were able to gut it and carve
it in a day.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Big put.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
You know I tried growing one of those on the farm,
right yeah, John Pumpkin and it got about as big
as a basketball.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And then it's like just deflated. Yeah, well that was closed.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
All right.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Well there you go.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
There's our categories one eight hundred big Shows, your toll
free line across America. We'll play out bursts next. Good morning,
(06:52):
that's a big show on the radio. Run to your
Thursday Halloween. Today's feature track from the Big Show bid
Box A grumby old man hates Halloween. Churgge you words
grumpy Halloween.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Hit the Big Box.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
At at the Big Show dot Com, roding by Lord
Tiger's Motorcycle Lawyers at ride he said, Lord Tigers, you
can win the Big Show custom Motorcycle. Well announced finalist
number five timorrow right toward the middle of the show.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
All right, gets your.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Naming a hat at Big Show Biden dot Com.
Speaker 9 (07:31):
Let's get that winning Upburst. Let's play Upburst. It's the
game that anyone can win. Shoon Boy Billy to give
the prizes from the Big.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Prize be.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Let's go contested number one. This should it be a
lot of fun playing Upburst. Haven against you have it
this time. You know the big shots. Let's say, hey,
the Mike.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
From Midible, New Bern, North Carolina.
Speaker 10 (08:09):
Shot we Hey Mike, you are buddy.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
You were up and at them first contestant. You got
the entire Big Show crew pulling for you right now, Mike,
go mine all right, body believe it. Let's do it
in five seconds. Give us three famous Halloween characters ready
to go.
Speaker 11 (08:37):
Uh drack you u Frankenstein, Witch.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Hitch witch witch.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Not that movie hit?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
What movie that's gonna be a character?
Speaker 10 (08:54):
All right?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
My good word, buddy, here we go, kind of going.
Number two. Three Halloween decoration, ready to go.
Speaker 11 (09:03):
Uh uh coffins.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Fighters come out, skelety there you go. Yeah, you can
just listed skeleton things we've been talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Those dog cat tatters showing me some pigs, snakes.
Speaker 11 (09:21):
They got skeletons for everything. He's got a skeleton.
Speaker 9 (09:24):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
There's You're right, all right, Mike. Well, here we go,
buddy for the win. Three uses of a pumpkin, ready
to go.
Speaker 11 (09:34):
Uh, Jack o' lannerds, punkin Pie and what they called
the swing shots Punky Chunky.
Speaker 9 (09:48):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
We'll good work, Mike.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
One hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull snot cleaning
products will come in handy if you start chunking some pumpkins.
All right, there's a plan gonna jump out and catch
you up on your news right on the other side
of our time capsule.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
But there's October thirty bird.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 8 (11:00):
Got a hankering for steak, but don't want to break
the bank to get it. Cowboy Greg Warren says, bring
the wife and dogies on down to one Star steakhouse
and saloon. You know, five star cuisine is highly overrated.
You gotta get all dressed up for it, and the
portions are ted skimpy, and they're always trying to push
(11:22):
something you never heard of on you, like chip boat
lay this or tilapia that. A good old medium rare
sirloin with a baked potato and a side of onion
rings was good enough for your daddy. Greg reckons, it's
good enough for you too, But don't take our word
for it. Listen to these marginally satisfied one star customers.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
It was okay, I guess I reckon, I've had worse.
Speaker 8 (11:45):
Come on out during our big brand open and celebration
this weekend. By one entree at regular price, get another
one for the price of another one. It's two for
the price of boat all weekend London and every one
star meal includes unlimited Country Croc spread and one star
is soon to be famous bottomless Creuton bowl on our
four item salad door. You're a one star guy, come
(12:09):
to the place and understand you One Star Steakhouse and Saloon,
one star food for one star people. Located on State
Road twenty three near the Frontage Road in the old
lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon. The fact hell, all we
did was take the L off the sign and print
up some new menus. So next time your bellies hollering
steak make it a one star night, one Star Steakhouse
(12:33):
and Saloon. When good enough is good enough, shad boy
and dilly, Good morning, rad yell done right.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Good morning, got a big showing the radio for your Thursday,
October thirty, first Halloween twenty and twenty four. Well, there's
always something exciting happening in beautiful dismal seep in South Carolina,
and here to tell us all about it is the
mayor himself, the Honorable Merwin Q fiddle Swoop. Good morning,
mister mayor, Good morning John Boy, and all your wonderful listeners.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Good to have you. So what's the buzz and dismal seepend.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Well, John Boy, it's election time and yours truly is
up for reelection, so we're throwing a big fiddle Swoop
media weekend.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
So how many terms have you served as mayor?
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Wrapping up my eleventh term as the guiding light of
our fair community, eleven terms? Don't you think it's time
to give somebody else a chance? Normally I run on
a pose, but this year I have a troublemaker opponent
by the name of Lloyd W.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Funkbinder. So what's the big difference between you two?
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Well, I was raised in a middle class family, John Blay.
Lloyd was born with a silver spoon in his butt.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Don't you mean his mouth?
Speaker 5 (14:23):
No, he's the heir to the funk Binder's repository fortune.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I got it. So what party are you representing? Well?
Speaker 5 (14:34):
I never cared much for labels, John Boy. I fancy
myself as an independent.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, but it not a label.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
The big parade down Main Street will be Saturday Morning,
featuring the Lindsey Graham Gender Uncertain Marching Band and the
Shriners will be on hand as usual. Half the cars
will look like elephants and the other half will be donkeys.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
So what are the independent cars?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
As we've got all sorts of fun activities for the
whole family, John boy. We'll have the opening of the
big dismal Seepach Corn Maze, and we have a special
guest on hand to be the first person brave enough
to give it a try.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
And who would that be?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
What a great looking question, John boy. In truth, we
have two special guests direct from our nation's capital, Joe
Biden and AOC will be racing to see who gets
out first.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I'm gonna be waiting a long time and how.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
And since it's Halloween, we'll be having our big political
pumpkin carving contest sponsored by Gord right ahead farm.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Well, that sounds like fun. Oh it will be, John boy.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
They're even delivering the older, wrinkled rotten pumpkins in case
someone wants to try their hand at Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Waters or Hillary Well it sounds hideous.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
You'll have the chance to play the Inconvenient Truth game
with Al Gore himself. You'll be able to ask him
questions about climate change, and if he's not able to answer,
you win a thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Well, it's a lot of money. I'm not too worried
about it.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
We'll be having all sorts of games like pin the
tail on the Pinhead, Red Rover, Red Rover, Send the
Illegals right over, and Kamala Harris's favorite game, Who's lie?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Is it anyway?
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Some food count on it, John Boy. We'll have the
Dead Beats Diner food truck. They'll be serving favorites like
beg rolls, shrimp and grifts and of course pe can't
pie for dessert. Then on Sunday night, the Big Concert
with Monica Lewinsky and the Blue Dress Blotches rocking all
night long, well at least till nine o'clock, and we'll
(16:38):
have early voting both set up all over.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
So what's the big campaign issue in Dismal Seep.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Well, I want to name the new toll road after
Francis Chubby Squatter. Lloyd wants to name it after I
don't know, some astronaut. The big difference being isn't chubby squatter,
a big campaign donor of yours. So come on down
to the big fidl Swoop media weekend, and remember, don't
be a stoop vote fiddle Swoop.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Will you be spending time with Monica Lewinsky.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Go to Hell?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Good more than everybody. The Big Show is right here
on the radio. Safe me praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
The two fine lads two Boite, dedicated to putting smile
on your.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Face and a song in your heart as long as.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
You're buying their bloody grilling sauce, Joy and Billy on
the Big Show, Faith and.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Begorah, Good morning, it's a big je on the radio.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Alright there get this bonus top ten Liz.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
All right, we're talking about the brand new Ken doll.
It's called ear Ring Magic Ken.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Now what is that?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
All?
Speaker 7 (18:27):
Like?
Speaker 8 (18:27):
Ken doesn't have enough image problems already.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Remember Jennifer brought a Ken doll in and you just
got recently glitter Magic Ken.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I said, come on, it's not helping.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
I mean, you know it used to be Ken. You know,
I mean Barbie's boyfriend. You know, it would hang out
and do stuff together.
Speaker 8 (18:44):
And if Barbie at least drives a Corvette. What does
Ken drive?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
You go, We're always worried about Ken, you know, but
now got Lee Glitter Magic ear Ring Magic Can. It's
even worse because gay guys are crossing miracle man are
buying this earring magic Can.
Speaker 8 (19:00):
Currently, gay guys are buying the earring Magic Can in
record numbers because they say this is the final confirmation
they've been looking for.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
There you go, that's right, there you go.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
They say, you know, and when somebody says, well, well,
you were saying that Ken is gay, you know, they
say they use my defense.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
What I was saying, Well look at him, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Man. Now they're doing it to Ken. But no, so
you say, well, earring Magic Can. Maybe that was a
bad idea. That was a bad idea.
Speaker 8 (19:29):
Imagine the ones that didn't make it to production there
at Mattel. We just happened to have a few of
them right here. Our top ten list today. Top ten
rejected ideas for the new Ken doll Number ten Haitian
junkie dentist Ken number nine, Ken Wayne Bobbitt with detachable
(19:49):
part number eight Clinton appointee Ken.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
See another image problem.
Speaker 8 (19:58):
Number seven neatly dressed unmarried Hairstylist, Mister Kenneth number six,
Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Ken number five, Act Up, Ken
number four, lifelong Bachelor would live in Longtime Companion, Ken.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Number three, Doctor Ken Vorkian.
Speaker 8 (20:26):
Number two, Lollapalooza Ken with Pierce Nipples and Cinderblock action
play set and the number one rejected Kendall Gerbil Magic Can.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Good Morning got Big Jon Radio.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
We got out of her taking the Big Girls Halloween
shopping for the Big Night to Night Hango. For that experience,
it's way to describe it. Okay, let me tell you
better prize pack somebody will win on John Boydjeopardy. Here
in minutes one of those Low Tiger prize packs hat,
t shirt, Tumblr and a twenty five dollars gas card,
(21:11):
and that will register you to win that one of
a kind Big Show motorcycle from Low Tigers, custom built
by Rick Bray of RKB Customs. Look for the link
at the Big Show dot Com. Make sure your name
is in the hat. Tomorrow we draw finalists number five
and then next week give it away from those five
finalists Big Show Bike dot Com. Check it out right now,
(21:36):
jag this out. It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, well, well, it's fall.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
The leaves a changing color, it's getting dark earlier, and
Panthers fans are always disappointed. Ooh, but the truth sign
that fall is here is hollow, A joyful time for
children to overdose on sugar and for their parents to
consider selling them to the gypsies. But let's not forget
(22:09):
that Halloween is also a time of sheer, unrelenting terror,
when beasts roam the foggy night looking for prey to
satisfy their monstrous hunger. In other words, it's time to
take my wife's family shopping for Halloween goodies. Let me
preach on it when people tell me about what scares
(22:33):
them spiders, snakes, zombies, vampires, werewolves, I laugh in their face.
Being locked in a closet with Freddy Krueger, leather Face
and Jason would be a vacation compared to a trip
to the Walsmot with the full figure gals in search
of a sugar rush. Oh, it's a whole big production. First,
(22:59):
I have to rent that flatbed truck. I tried farring
them in a hummer last year and it broke the axle.
Broke the axle. Then once there, I have to suffer
the lookie lose. As I unload them, they draw a
(23:20):
crowd like Sophia Virgara doing new jumping jacks with more
disappointed faces. Camera phones filled the air so their friends
can't call them liars when they tell them about it.
It's like a circus parade. Then, once the arduous task
(23:40):
of dismounting is conquered, there begins a furious war of
the waddles as they battle for position to get to
those motorized cats. And when they settled in and caught
their breath from that enormous twenty five foot race, they
(24:03):
unplug the power chords and off they go. It's like
someone drop the green flag on the fat tona five hundred.
God help anyone who gets in their way. Oh the humanity.
They speed off in every direction looking for sweet deals
like death Race two thousand if it was set at
(24:25):
Willie Wonker's. All three of them on cell phones conference
calling so they can alert the others to discovered bargains.
And don't think for a second that this quest is
spontaneous or unplanned.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
These gals do the math.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
They take the number of trigger treatis from last year,
add another fifty to it. Then they add a little
for themselves. Oh yes, you can forget the old one
for you, one for me. Method of divvying up the booty.
It's more like er maybe one for you and absolutely
thirty for me. They quickly fill up the carts with
(25:06):
bags of every sort of candy you can imagine, and
when they run out of cart space, they meet and
draw straws to see who has to go back to
the front of the store to get another cart, which
is hooked to the back of the Rascal like a trailer.
They put candy everywhere. One year, at the last moment,
(25:28):
they found a stash of popcorn balls. With no room
in the carts, they began stuffing them in their cheeks
like big fleshy chipmunks.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Storing food for a very long winter.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
It's a veritable sweet tooth SmackDown, a showdown at the
empty Calorie Corral. But the one place they never ventineer
in the entire store is the costume section. It brings
back too many bad memories, namely kids pointing in harm Mommy,
I want to be that for Halloween. The horror, the horror.
(26:09):
Upon returning to the homestead, the preparations begin for Halloween night,
because I'm the only one who can climb a ladder.
I decorate the house, usually like the witch's cottage in
Hansel and Gretel, seems somehow appropriate. Then the gals start
the ritual known as the separation, a grueling, detailed process
(26:30):
of dividing goodies by class and strata and its impeccable
fun sized candy bulls in this bowl, smarty sweet talks
nerds here, Caramel taffy there, hard candy here, Pails and
buckets and bowls and barrels of every type of sweety
imaginable more than they'll ever give away, right, so what
would be the harm of having one? Or two, or
(26:50):
ten or twenty. Before you know it, they've engaged in
an orgiastic feast, like big Norwegian white sharks. Once they
taste chocolate in the water, the feeding frenzy begins. Melted
chocolate covers their hands and faces until they look like
three Ralphie May's doing a minstrel show.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
You want Halloween horror nights? Brother, here it is.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
I have the unpleasant task of opening the front door
to display the nightmare scene to the public. Children and
adulter alike. Weep weep at the sight of the devastation.
Three behemoths sleeping off their feed like a pack of
sated kraken. It's monster island in moo moos, a wash
(27:43):
in a rainbow sea of empty candy wrappers, not a
morsel left in sight. The children, the poor children. But
it's Oliver to the rescue. A carefully hidden stash of
full size Snickers that I secreted away months ago, only
surviving the gluttony by hiding them in plain sight in
(28:06):
slim fast boxes. And when at last it's all gone,
I'll go the lights. Nothing left to do except let
the sugar bears hibernate. The next day, the real work begins,
taking the bagged up candy wrappers to the recycling center,
(28:28):
usually three trips with a truck and help. And the gals, well,
they finally get some R and R with a nice
bubble bath, which for them is working up a sweat
by walking ten feet and then rolling in some pop rocks.
(28:50):
Try getting that picture out of your head. I can't
happy Halloween.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Okay, that's a lot to digest in a lot of
different ways. Ah Yah, Well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy Review.
Yesterday's question so we found out, according to superstition, if
you look in a mirror at midnight on Halloween, this
is who you will see over your left shoulder.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
That is your h next your spouse, true love.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
That your future spouse, that's what you were so close there.
So Hillary Clinton Michelle Obama was two of the guests
we had. I don't know, that's kind of weird, but
all right, well let's go today's John Boy Jeopardy. For years,
candy corn has been the reigning champion of the Worst
Halloween Candy list, but this year it falls to number two,
(29:54):
and this other vintage candy is now America's worst Halloween handy.
Speaker 12 (30:00):
Uh no, what have y'all? God, that's just not sharp
this morning. I've noticed that. So we're going on here
one eight hundred Big Show. You're told, free line across America.
We go, do we get a winner? Start naming them?
Speaker 3 (30:15):
We played John Ward Jeverday Next, Good Morning, It's a
(30:43):
big show on the radio. Rolled into your Thursday, October Thursday.
First for today's feature track from the Big Show bid box,
A grubby old man hates Halloween. Thirds were keywords grumpy Halloween.
Add that to grumpies list.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Keyword. Yeah, I said Trump Halloween. I got sorry, I'm
looking at a list of candies.
Speaker 13 (31:05):
It's distract all right, Well, let's play yell slive across America.
It's John Boy Chaffin now and now, a man who
always helped his kids avoid bad Halloween candy by sorting
it out for him. Oh, recy cups, No, those are bad,
bas kit Cassy no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
No, snicker bars nuts for prisoners.
Speaker 13 (31:28):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
There I say that. Chris out of van Wick, South Carolina.
Speaker 11 (31:33):
Good morning, Chris, Good morning, John Boy, Good morning everybody.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Hey, you know, buddy, welcome alright, man got the first
shot at it. So candy corn been the raining champion
of the worst Halloween candy list this year it falls
to number two, behind this other vintage candy.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
What took over number one? Chris?
Speaker 11 (31:56):
All right, John boy? First of all, you got a movie.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
All right, Well, let's move you.
Speaker 11 (32:03):
Lot. John. You cannot stand this candy. It's gotta be
circus peanuts.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Got to be circus peanuts, and Chris doesn't like them.
Let's say play your right a.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Circus peanuts.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I don't really mind those because they don't get them
all the time, you know, they're really fun. If you
put them in a microwave, they blow up like, you know,
ten times their size. So anyway, the top ten words Circus, Peanuts, candy, corn,
Necko Wafers, peanut butter, kisses, wax, Cola bottles, Mary Jane's, Smarties, licorice,
(32:45):
been a Honey and tutsi roll is the top ten.
The top ten best Reese's Cups number one, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Em and M's Hot Tomali's. That's weird that that made
the list.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Huh getting the number three too, Skittles, South Patch Kids,
star Wars, Hershey Kisses, candy corn, the best to number
eight the best and the worst is crazy in Hershey
mini bars and the Snickers number ten.
Speaker 7 (33:11):
You know you are polling children, so that's you know. Well,
Sour Patch Kids is gonna be on that list.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Hi, Well, chrisy worked out for you, buddy, Big old
low Tiger's prize packing. You're naming the half with a
big show custom motorcycle.
Speaker 11 (33:27):
Awesome, John moy I appreciate you guys. Can I give
a couple of shout outs? Please?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Please do?
Speaker 11 (33:32):
I don't want to say give a shout out to
my kids. Brandy Christopher Cordy love you guys. Great job
growing up being adults, something I ain't get exactly to.
All my employees are sent off first Saint Safety, the
number one van delivered first a supplier in the country
and John Moo. Appreciate you guys everything you know. You
do not know how many smiles you got little faces in.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
The moment you the man. Chris proud to have you.
Listen my boy, and glad you won. You hang on
with jacket, all right, we jumping down, catching you.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Up on your news.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
O the Junior Nations Band, the Classic Halloween Twos.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
I'm good morning.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Let's make Shaw on the radio, Thursday, October thirty. First,
how about a Halloween tun the boys.
Speaker 8 (35:02):
A Halloween.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
Halloween, scariest night that's ever go send goblins to make
you scream on Halloween. Ooh, Halloween darkness falls, Pat's black Knight,
(35:33):
Drick a little looking for a neck to bite. That
boy's got quiet an apple tied on Halloween. Fly Halloween,
Halloween Halloween. It's a spooky scary scene. The wolf fans
(35:57):
out to treat you mean on Halloween Halloween. Ain't Frankenstein?
Why did the ghost go into the bear joint? He
wanted to get some blue get it. You see them
(36:25):
all on the movie Screams. They won't stop until you
pee your genius alas your labor with some fav up
beans on Halloween. Halloween, Halloween, it's a spooky scary scene.
(36:52):
Might run in the franking scene on Halloween Halloween. You
might run into Frank Unstein on Halloween.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Good Morning is a based on the radio A point
A Junior Nation Band some songs about holidays. Christmas comes
in number one, Halloween fast approaching number two.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Ladies and gentlemen, the Junior Nation Band would like to
share a special sound.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Of the season.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
And when I say the season, I mean the go
to Hell's season known as Halloween. And nowhere does it
go to Hell faster or harder than Cassidy Double Wide World,
Headquarters of the Junior Nation Band. This is another word
based on all our experiences and it goes exactly like
(38:24):
is these nerve frecking youngins live and then the trailer
park are about to make me lose my mind Halloween night.
They dress up and bag for candy. The troubles bore
what they got in mind. They used to beat cuter
in their little costumes back before they turn fifteen. Now
(38:49):
there's underage drinking and you can't tell what they're thinking.
It's a trailer park Plelloween trailer Park, Halloway Trailer Park
Plowens went all this mendoalism. They just mind end up
in prison. Traylor Park pal Aways. Now the irony of
(39:15):
the junior Nation man complaining about somebody running around wild
and drunk is not lost on us.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
However, that does not.
Speaker 4 (39:23):
Mean these kids ain't wild or drunk, which they are.
They make a lot of noise, raise a lot of ruckuses,
Kevin folks quiet scare. When they picked the wrong guy,
he runs out the door to chase them and kicks.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Them in the dairy.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Are they like the bullet caper with the roll of
toilet paper making feed down?
Speaker 7 (39:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Mean they're cruising for some trouble.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Then we're about the bustard bubble on the trailer park
pel Wais Trailer Park, hell Aways trailer Park Halloways too
old for trick or treating. Some of them can use
of beating trailer park Helloweens. It's a trailer park Halloways
(40:19):
Trailer Park, Halloways went all this vandalism, They just might
end up in prison trailer Park, Halloways. And there you
have it, our cautionary tail of the season for all
the pupping heads in the audience. Y'all act like you
(40:40):
got some smart have a safe and happy Halloween, and
Quitt running my life.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
This makes y'all. The radio John bop Been and.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Taylor Fellers Ready, Jackie and you listening?
Speaker 7 (40:56):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (40:57):
How you are listening to two of the funny It's
guys on the radio and my fraternity brothers at the
Raccoon Lodge, John Boy and Philly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Are they funny? Are they funny? Oh?
Speaker 10 (41:12):
Hello, good morning, It's a Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
We're rolling till your Thursday.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Halloween got a few minutes, dog right, and Naga finally
made it back to Vegas after he called his last
race last week.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Get Jerry bringing us a bunch of money if tot put.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Five dollars on red and yeah, well you know they
say whatever happens in Vegas states in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
We didn't mean for him.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Money as well, though.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Hey, y'all, this a heads up.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
In about twenty four hours we will announce finalists number
five for the Big Show. Custom Motorcycle Ron Thompson out
of Greenville, Tennessee, was finalist four earlier this week. He
joined Oh Dwayne from Onner Robins, Georgia Dave from Jasper, Alabama,
and Jean Rowano grappas North Carolina. And we will have
(42:43):
one more finalists. We will lod Tiger's gonna draw that
in about twenty four hours. Let us know, We will
tell you. And then next week, out of those five finalists,
somebody wins that Big Show Coastal Motors.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Whoo oh right, good deal, you got time.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Now, you got twenty four hours to get your name
and the hat. Go to Big showbike dot com. Other
Thing's NASCAR board Doug Rising minutes, Big Show rolls home
Good more than everybody more big show to come. Hang
where you are, yo?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
What's up?
Speaker 3 (00:07):
This is ike and for all of five one one
you need on all things redneck.
Speaker 4 (00:13):
Just check out my.
Speaker 5 (00:14):
Two favorite crackers, John bro and Bidley right here on
the Big Show. I listened to something else my own self,
but white boy Patrick Gunn broke off the.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Knob in the Cadillac. Never mind pets out.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Sugar down sugar now now how about Ogga Doodle Newssna
(01:11):
sugar now? Now, whatever it takes, it gets you away.
Let's work on it. It's October thirty first, so well,
no Halloween twenty four ready with the little trigger treaters
(01:32):
coming to your doors.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
November first is such an awesome day because the candy
is on.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Sale, that's right.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh man, Yeah, I thought that one.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
That'd be a good idea.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Let's just buy a bunch of candy at these great prices,
and what'll have it for next Halloween? Yeah, I know
what you're housing.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I'm gonna make you know, like Thursday.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I thought you were gonna go with.
Speaker 7 (01:58):
I buy the candy that I don't like, so I
won't eat it before Halloween.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
It works out like that.
Speaker 8 (02:05):
I don't think we've found a candy he won't eat
so far.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Well, we got through Candy corn Day yesterday. I still
like me some candy corn.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Let's say hear Halloween national days all artist Halloween. So
you got National doorbell Day, that makes sense. National Caramel
Apple Day. It's been a while since had a caramel
a candy that's different than the k are.
Speaker 6 (02:31):
I like that both messy.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Gotta go to the State Fair to get them. Make them.
National knock Knock Joke Day.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Everybody knows a knock knock joke, no matter how young
you are, you know, teaching.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Your little toddler or knock knock joke. It'll be one.
What's what's the first one that I got?
Speaker 6 (02:50):
What I don't know?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Dwayne?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yeah, Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne in the bathtub, I'm drowning.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
The cornist knock knock? Who's there? Boo boo? Why are
you crying? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
I would go, well, if you're gonna cry about it,
I'm not gonna tell you. But that's your the that's
a lot better.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
That's why he gets the big.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Who was National Magic Day as well on this Halloween
and this Girl Scout's Founder Day. What those girl scout
cookies in there, but drinking treat that'll be good. I
wonder why, because I guess you buy them.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
You ain't gonna give him what well they frown on
unwrapped cookies. I guess you're right. Oh right.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
We got three days in this sort saved up. We'll
get the first prize back out. You know what we do,
we get the winning beginning. We're awake. Big Joe's on
the radio. Good morning, I got the Big Show on
the radio. Let's see what our first listener player can win.
Maybe I'll go back to Bend and start overloads.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Knock, knock, who's there?
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Prize bags? What I'm trying to get out of my mouth?
Tap down right with grease playing behind you. What can
we win?
Speaker 7 (04:13):
We can win one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull Snot cleaning products made right here in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving, and bull Snot makes sure
that they look good doing it. Look for Bullsnot at
truck stops across America, or you can download the Bullsnot app.
Go to the Big Show dot com click on the
Bullsnipe Bullsnut banner there for more information.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Always could be worse.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Knock knock, Thank you very bus bars and let's get
you set up with the categories. It was October thirty first,
nineteen eighty six, well the first time Universal Studios in
Hollywood opened at night.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Halloween.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Har Night featured Dracula, the Mummy, King Kong, the Creature
from the Black Lagoon, the Wolfman, and Rick dees Wreck
one of his had his disco duck outfit on.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Maybe that's what it was scary.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Oh nineteen ninety one, at their Halloween wedding Jane and
Dale Peters in the Madison, Wisconsin where Mary dressed is
Frankenstein in the Bride of Frankenstein. Very creative. At the reception,
the champagne was chilled in the coffin.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
You just go find this scoopy up a cup.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Alright.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Finally, nineteen ninety two, Regina Johnson, Michael Green, and Daniel
Salsado displayed history's largest jack O'Lantern in nut Tree, California.
It's about right, carved the day before from an eight
hundred and twenty seven pound punkin the previous records was
(05:54):
eight hundred and sixteen pounds.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
I'm amazed they were able to gut it and carve
it in a day.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Big put.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
You know I tried growing one of those on the farm,
right yeah, John Pumpkin and it got about as big
as a basketball.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And then it's like just deflated. Yeah, well that was closed.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
All right.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Well there you go.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
There's our categories one eight hundred big Shows, your toll
free line across America. We'll play out bursts next. Good morning,
(06:52):
that's a big show on the radio. Run to your
Thursday Halloween. Today's feature track from the Big Show bid
Box A grumby old man hates Halloween. Churgge you words
grumpy Halloween.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Hit the Big Box.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
At at the Big Show dot Com, roding by Lord
Tiger's Motorcycle Lawyers at ride he said, Lord Tigers, you
can win the Big Show custom Motorcycle. Well announced finalist
number five timorrow right toward the middle of the show.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
All right, gets your.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Naming a hat at Big Show Biden dot Com.
Speaker 9 (07:31):
Let's get that winning Upburst. Let's play Upburst. It's the
game that anyone can win. Shoon Boy Billy to give
the prizes from the Big.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Prize be.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Let's go contested number one. This should it be a
lot of fun playing Upburst. Haven against you have it
this time. You know the big shots. Let's say, hey,
the Mike.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
From Midible, New Bern, North Carolina.
Speaker 10 (08:09):
Shot we Hey Mike, you are buddy.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
You were up and at them first contestant. You got
the entire Big Show crew pulling for you right now, Mike,
go mine all right, body believe it. Let's do it
in five seconds. Give us three famous Halloween characters ready
to go.
Speaker 11 (08:37):
Uh drack you u Frankenstein, Witch.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Hitch witch witch.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Not that movie hit?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
What movie that's gonna be a character?
Speaker 10 (08:54):
All right?
Speaker 1 (08:55):
My good word, buddy, here we go, kind of going.
Number two. Three Halloween decoration, ready to go.
Speaker 11 (09:03):
Uh uh coffins.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Fighters come out, skelety there you go. Yeah, you can
just listed skeleton things we've been talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Those dog cat tatters showing me some pigs, snakes.
Speaker 11 (09:21):
They got skeletons for everything. He's got a skeleton.
Speaker 9 (09:24):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
There's You're right, all right, Mike. Well, here we go,
buddy for the win. Three uses of a pumpkin, ready
to go.
Speaker 11 (09:34):
Uh, Jack o' lannerds, punkin Pie and what they called
the swing shots Punky Chunky.
Speaker 9 (09:48):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
We'll good work, Mike.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
One hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull snot cleaning
products will come in handy if you start chunking some pumpkins.
All right, there's a plan gonna jump out and catch
you up on your news right on the other side
of our time capsule.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
But there's October thirty bird.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 8 (11:00):
Got a hankering for steak, but don't want to break
the bank to get it. Cowboy Greg Warren says, bring
the wife and dogies on down to one Star steakhouse
and saloon. You know, five star cuisine is highly overrated.
You gotta get all dressed up for it, and the
portions are ted skimpy, and they're always trying to push
(11:22):
something you never heard of on you, like chip boat
lay this or tilapia that. A good old medium rare
sirloin with a baked potato and a side of onion
rings was good enough for your daddy. Greg reckons, it's
good enough for you too, But don't take our word
for it. Listen to these marginally satisfied one star customers.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
It was okay, I guess I reckon, I've had worse.
Speaker 8 (11:45):
Come on out during our big brand open and celebration
this weekend. By one entree at regular price, get another
one for the price of another one. It's two for
the price of boat all weekend London and every one
star meal includes unlimited Country Croc spread and one star
is soon to be famous bottomless Creuton bowl on our
four item salad door. You're a one star guy, come
(12:09):
to the place and understand you One Star Steakhouse and Saloon,
one star food for one star people. Located on State
Road twenty three near the Frontage Road in the old
lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon. The fact hell, all we
did was take the L off the sign and print
up some new menus. So next time your bellies hollering
steak make it a one star night, one Star Steakhouse
(12:33):
and Saloon. When good enough is good enough, shad boy
and dilly, Good morning, rad yell done right.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Good morning, got a big showing the radio for your Thursday,
October thirty, first Halloween twenty and twenty four. Well, there's
always something exciting happening in beautiful dismal seep in South Carolina,
and here to tell us all about it is the
mayor himself, the Honorable Merwin Q fiddle Swoop. Good morning,
mister mayor, Good morning John Boy, and all your wonderful listeners.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Good to have you. So what's the buzz and dismal seepend.
Speaker 5 (13:40):
Well, John Boy, it's election time and yours truly is
up for reelection, so we're throwing a big fiddle Swoop
media weekend.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
So how many terms have you served as mayor?
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Wrapping up my eleventh term as the guiding light of
our fair community, eleven terms? Don't you think it's time
to give somebody else a chance? Normally I run on
a pose, but this year I have a troublemaker opponent
by the name of Lloyd W.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Funkbinder. So what's the big difference between you two?
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Well, I was raised in a middle class family, John Blay.
Lloyd was born with a silver spoon in his butt.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Don't you mean his mouth?
Speaker 5 (14:23):
No, he's the heir to the funk Binder's repository fortune.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I got it. So what party are you representing? Well?
Speaker 5 (14:34):
I never cared much for labels, John Boy. I fancy
myself as an independent.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, but it not a label.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
The big parade down Main Street will be Saturday Morning,
featuring the Lindsey Graham Gender Uncertain Marching Band and the
Shriners will be on hand as usual. Half the cars
will look like elephants and the other half will be donkeys.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
So what are the independent cars?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
As we've got all sorts of fun activities for the
whole family, John boy. We'll have the opening of the
big dismal Seepach Corn Maze, and we have a special
guest on hand to be the first person brave enough
to give it a try.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
And who would that be?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
What a great looking question, John boy. In truth, we
have two special guests direct from our nation's capital, Joe
Biden and AOC will be racing to see who gets
out first.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I'm gonna be waiting a long time and how.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
And since it's Halloween, we'll be having our big political
pumpkin carving contest sponsored by Gord right ahead farm.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Well, that sounds like fun. Oh it will be, John boy.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
They're even delivering the older, wrinkled rotten pumpkins in case
someone wants to try their hand at Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Waters or Hillary Well it sounds hideous.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
You'll have the chance to play the Inconvenient Truth game
with Al Gore himself. You'll be able to ask him
questions about climate change, and if he's not able to answer,
you win a thousand dollars.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Well, it's a lot of money. I'm not too worried
about it.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
We'll be having all sorts of games like pin the
tail on the Pinhead, Red Rover, Red Rover, Send the
Illegals right over, and Kamala Harris's favorite game, Who's lie?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Is it anyway?
Speaker 5 (16:16):
Some food count on it, John Boy. We'll have the
Dead Beats Diner food truck. They'll be serving favorites like
beg rolls, shrimp and grifts and of course pe can't
pie for dessert. Then on Sunday night, the Big Concert
with Monica Lewinsky and the Blue Dress Blotches rocking all
night long, well at least till nine o'clock, and we'll
(16:38):
have early voting both set up all over.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
So what's the big campaign issue in Dismal Seep.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Well, I want to name the new toll road after
Francis Chubby Squatter. Lloyd wants to name it after I
don't know, some astronaut. The big difference being isn't chubby squatter,
a big campaign donor of yours. So come on down
to the big fidl Swoop media weekend, and remember, don't
be a stoop vote fiddle Swoop.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Will you be spending time with Monica Lewinsky.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Go to Hell?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Good more than everybody. The Big Show is right here
on the radio. Safe me praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
The two fine lads two Boite, dedicated to putting smile
on your.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Face and a song in your heart as long as.
Speaker 5 (17:27):
You're buying their bloody grilling sauce, Joy and Billy on
the Big Show, Faith and.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Begorah, Good morning, it's a big je on the radio.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Alright there get this bonus top ten Liz.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
All right, we're talking about the brand new Ken doll.
It's called ear Ring Magic Ken.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Now what is that?
Speaker 2 (18:27):
All?
Speaker 7 (18:27):
Like?
Speaker 8 (18:27):
Ken doesn't have enough image problems already.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Remember Jennifer brought a Ken doll in and you just
got recently glitter Magic Ken.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
I said, come on, it's not helping.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
I mean, you know it used to be Ken. You know,
I mean Barbie's boyfriend. You know, it would hang out
and do stuff together.
Speaker 8 (18:44):
And if Barbie at least drives a Corvette. What does
Ken drive?
Speaker 3 (18:48):
You go, We're always worried about Ken, you know, but
now got Lee Glitter Magic ear Ring Magic Can. It's
even worse because gay guys are crossing miracle man are
buying this earring magic Can.
Speaker 8 (19:00):
Currently, gay guys are buying the earring Magic Can in
record numbers because they say this is the final confirmation
they've been looking for.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
There you go, that's right, there you go.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
They say, you know, and when somebody says, well, well,
you were saying that Ken is gay, you know, they
say they use my defense.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
What I was saying, Well look at him, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Man. Now they're doing it to Ken. But no, so
you say, well, earring Magic Can. Maybe that was a
bad idea. That was a bad idea.
Speaker 8 (19:29):
Imagine the ones that didn't make it to production there
at Mattel. We just happened to have a few of
them right here. Our top ten list today. Top ten
rejected ideas for the new Ken doll Number ten Haitian
junkie dentist Ken number nine, Ken Wayne Bobbitt with detachable
(19:49):
part number eight Clinton appointee Ken.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
See another image problem.
Speaker 8 (19:58):
Number seven neatly dressed unmarried Hairstylist, Mister Kenneth number six,
Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Ken number five, Act Up, Ken
number four, lifelong Bachelor would live in Longtime Companion, Ken.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Number three, Doctor Ken Vorkian.
Speaker 8 (20:26):
Number two, Lollapalooza Ken with Pierce Nipples and Cinderblock action
play set and the number one rejected Kendall Gerbil Magic Can.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Good Morning got Big Jon Radio.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
We got out of her taking the Big Girls Halloween
shopping for the Big Night to Night Hango. For that experience,
it's way to describe it. Okay, let me tell you
better prize pack somebody will win on John Boydjeopardy. Here
in minutes one of those Low Tiger prize packs hat,
t shirt, Tumblr and a twenty five dollars gas card,
(21:11):
and that will register you to win that one of
a kind Big Show motorcycle from Low Tigers, custom built
by Rick Bray of RKB Customs. Look for the link
at the Big Show dot Com. Make sure your name
is in the hat. Tomorrow we draw finalists number five
and then next week give it away from those five
finalists Big Show Bike dot Com. Check it out right now,
(21:36):
jag this out. It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Well, well, well, it's fall.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
The leaves a changing color, it's getting dark earlier, and
Panthers fans are always disappointed. Ooh, but the truth sign
that fall is here is hollow, A joyful time for
children to overdose on sugar and for their parents to
consider selling them to the gypsies. But let's not forget
(22:09):
that Halloween is also a time of sheer, unrelenting terror,
when beasts roam the foggy night looking for prey to
satisfy their monstrous hunger. In other words, it's time to
take my wife's family shopping for Halloween goodies. Let me
preach on it when people tell me about what scares
(22:33):
them spiders, snakes, zombies, vampires, werewolves, I laugh in their face.
Being locked in a closet with Freddy Krueger, leather Face
and Jason would be a vacation compared to a trip
to the Walsmot with the full figure gals in search
of a sugar rush. Oh, it's a whole big production. First,
(22:59):
I have to rent that flatbed truck. I tried farring
them in a hummer last year and it broke the axle.
Broke the axle. Then once there, I have to suffer
the lookie lose. As I unload them, they draw a
(23:20):
crowd like Sophia Virgara doing new jumping jacks with more
disappointed faces. Camera phones filled the air so their friends
can't call them liars when they tell them about it.
It's like a circus parade. Then, once the arduous task
(23:40):
of dismounting is conquered, there begins a furious war of
the waddles as they battle for position to get to
those motorized cats. And when they settled in and caught
their breath from that enormous twenty five foot race, they
(24:03):
unplug the power chords and off they go. It's like
someone drop the green flag on the fat tona five hundred.
God help anyone who gets in their way. Oh the humanity.
They speed off in every direction looking for sweet deals
like death Race two thousand if it was set at
(24:25):
Willie Wonker's. All three of them on cell phones conference
calling so they can alert the others to discovered bargains.
And don't think for a second that this quest is
spontaneous or unplanned.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
These gals do the math.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
They take the number of trigger treatis from last year,
add another fifty to it. Then they add a little
for themselves. Oh yes, you can forget the old one
for you, one for me. Method of divvying up the booty.
It's more like er maybe one for you and absolutely
thirty for me. They quickly fill up the carts with
(25:06):
bags of every sort of candy you can imagine, and
when they run out of cart space, they meet and
draw straws to see who has to go back to
the front of the store to get another cart, which
is hooked to the back of the Rascal like a trailer.
They put candy everywhere. One year, at the last moment,
(25:28):
they found a stash of popcorn balls. With no room
in the carts, they began stuffing them in their cheeks
like big fleshy chipmunks.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Storing food for a very long winter.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
It's a veritable sweet tooth SmackDown, a showdown at the
empty Calorie Corral. But the one place they never ventineer
in the entire store is the costume section. It brings
back too many bad memories, namely kids pointing in harm Mommy,
I want to be that for Halloween. The horror, the horror.
(26:09):
Upon returning to the homestead, the preparations begin for Halloween night,
because I'm the only one who can climb a ladder.
I decorate the house, usually like the witch's cottage in
Hansel and Gretel, seems somehow appropriate. Then the gals start
the ritual known as the separation, a grueling, detailed process
(26:30):
of dividing goodies by class and strata and its impeccable
fun sized candy bulls in this bowl, smarty sweet talks
nerds here, Caramel taffy there, hard candy here, Pails and
buckets and bowls and barrels of every type of sweety
imaginable more than they'll ever give away, right, so what
would be the harm of having one? Or two, or
(26:50):
ten or twenty. Before you know it, they've engaged in
an orgiastic feast, like big Norwegian white sharks. Once they
taste chocolate in the water, the feeding frenzy begins. Melted
chocolate covers their hands and faces until they look like
three Ralphie May's doing a minstrel show.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
You want Halloween horror nights? Brother, here it is.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
I have the unpleasant task of opening the front door
to display the nightmare scene to the public. Children and
adulter alike. Weep weep at the sight of the devastation.
Three behemoths sleeping off their feed like a pack of
sated kraken. It's monster island in moo moos, a wash
(27:43):
in a rainbow sea of empty candy wrappers, not a
morsel left in sight. The children, the poor children. But
it's Oliver to the rescue. A carefully hidden stash of
full size Snickers that I secreted away months ago, only
surviving the gluttony by hiding them in plain sight in
(28:06):
slim fast boxes. And when at last it's all gone,
I'll go the lights. Nothing left to do except let
the sugar bears hibernate. The next day, the real work begins,
taking the bagged up candy wrappers to the recycling center,
(28:28):
usually three trips with a truck and help. And the gals, well,
they finally get some R and R with a nice
bubble bath, which for them is working up a sweat
by walking ten feet and then rolling in some pop rocks.
(28:50):
Try getting that picture out of your head. I can't
happy Halloween.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Okay, that's a lot to digest in a lot of
different ways. Ah Yah, Well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy Review.
Yesterday's question so we found out, according to superstition, if
you look in a mirror at midnight on Halloween, this
is who you will see over your left shoulder.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
That is your h next your spouse, true love.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
That your future spouse, that's what you were so close there.
So Hillary Clinton Michelle Obama was two of the guests
we had. I don't know, that's kind of weird, but
all right, well let's go today's John Boy Jeopardy. For years,
candy corn has been the reigning champion of the Worst
Halloween Candy list, but this year it falls to number two,
(29:54):
and this other vintage candy is now America's worst Halloween handy.
Speaker 12 (30:00):
Uh no, what have y'all? God, that's just not sharp
this morning. I've noticed that. So we're going on here
one eight hundred Big Show. You're told, free line across America.
We go, do we get a winner? Start naming them?
Speaker 3 (30:15):
We played John Ward Jeverday Next, Good Morning, It's a
(30:43):
big show on the radio. Rolled into your Thursday, October Thursday.
First for today's feature track from the Big Show bid box,
A grubby old man hates Halloween. Thirds were keywords grumpy Halloween.
Add that to grumpies list.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Keyword. Yeah, I said Trump Halloween. I got sorry, I'm
looking at a list of candies.
Speaker 13 (31:05):
It's distract all right, Well, let's play yell slive across America.
It's John Boy Chaffin now and now, a man who
always helped his kids avoid bad Halloween candy by sorting
it out for him. Oh, recy cups, No, those are bad,
bas kit Cassy no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
No, snicker bars nuts for prisoners.
Speaker 13 (31:28):
He's John Boy.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
There I say that. Chris out of van Wick, South Carolina.
Speaker 11 (31:33):
Good morning, Chris, Good morning, John Boy, Good morning everybody.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Hey, you know, buddy, welcome alright, man got the first
shot at it. So candy corn been the raining champion
of the worst Halloween candy list this year it falls
to number two, behind this other vintage candy.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
What took over number one? Chris?
Speaker 11 (31:56):
All right, John boy? First of all, you got a movie.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
All right, Well, let's move you.
Speaker 11 (32:03):
Lot. John. You cannot stand this candy. It's gotta be
circus peanuts.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Got to be circus peanuts, and Chris doesn't like them.
Let's say play your right a.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Circus peanuts.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I don't really mind those because they don't get them
all the time, you know, they're really fun. If you
put them in a microwave, they blow up like, you know,
ten times their size. So anyway, the top ten words Circus, Peanuts, candy, corn,
Necko Wafers, peanut butter, kisses, wax, Cola bottles, Mary Jane's, Smarties, licorice,
(32:45):
been a Honey and tutsi roll is the top ten.
The top ten best Reese's Cups number one, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Em and M's Hot Tomali's. That's weird that that made
the list.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
Huh getting the number three too, Skittles, South Patch Kids,
star Wars, Hershey Kisses, candy corn, the best to number
eight the best and the worst is crazy in Hershey
mini bars and the Snickers number ten.
Speaker 7 (33:11):
You know you are polling children, so that's you know. Well,
Sour Patch Kids is gonna be on that list.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Hi, Well, chrisy worked out for you, buddy, Big old
low Tiger's prize packing. You're naming the half with a
big show custom motorcycle.
Speaker 11 (33:27):
Awesome, John moy I appreciate you guys. Can I give
a couple of shout outs? Please?
Speaker 1 (33:30):
Please do?
Speaker 11 (33:32):
I don't want to say give a shout out to
my kids. Brandy Christopher Cordy love you guys. Great job
growing up being adults, something I ain't get exactly to.
All my employees are sent off first Saint Safety, the
number one van delivered first a supplier in the country
and John Moo. Appreciate you guys everything you know. You
do not know how many smiles you got little faces in.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
The moment you the man. Chris proud to have you.
Listen my boy, and glad you won. You hang on
with jacket, all right, we jumping down, catching you.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Up on your news.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
O the Junior Nations Band, the Classic Halloween Twos.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
I'm good morning.
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Let's make Shaw on the radio, Thursday, October thirty. First,
how about a Halloween tun the boys.
Speaker 8 (35:02):
A Halloween.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
Halloween, scariest night that's ever go send goblins to make
you scream on Halloween. Ooh, Halloween darkness falls, Pat's black Knight,
(35:33):
Drick a little looking for a neck to bite. That
boy's got quiet an apple tied on Halloween. Fly Halloween,
Halloween Halloween. It's a spooky scary scene. The wolf fans
(35:57):
out to treat you mean on Halloween Halloween. Ain't Frankenstein?
Why did the ghost go into the bear joint? He
wanted to get some blue get it. You see them
(36:25):
all on the movie Screams. They won't stop until you
pee your genius alas your labor with some fav up
beans on Halloween. Halloween, Halloween, it's a spooky scary scene.
(36:52):
Might run in the franking scene on Halloween Halloween. You
might run into Frank Unstein on Halloween.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Good Morning is a based on the radio A point
A Junior Nation Band some songs about holidays. Christmas comes
in number one, Halloween fast approaching number two.
Speaker 4 (37:56):
Ladies and gentlemen, the Junior Nation Band would like to
share a special sound.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Of the season.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
And when I say the season, I mean the go
to Hell's season known as Halloween. And nowhere does it
go to Hell faster or harder than Cassidy Double Wide World,
Headquarters of the Junior Nation Band. This is another word
based on all our experiences and it goes exactly like
(38:24):
is these nerve frecking youngins live and then the trailer
park are about to make me lose my mind Halloween night.
They dress up and bag for candy. The troubles bore
what they got in mind. They used to beat cuter
in their little costumes back before they turn fifteen. Now
(38:49):
there's underage drinking and you can't tell what they're thinking.
It's a trailer park Plelloween trailer Park, Halloway Trailer Park
Plowens went all this mendoalism. They just mind end up
in prison. Traylor Park pal Aways. Now the irony of
(39:15):
the junior Nation man complaining about somebody running around wild
and drunk is not lost on us.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
However, that does not.
Speaker 4 (39:23):
Mean these kids ain't wild or drunk, which they are.
They make a lot of noise, raise a lot of ruckuses,
Kevin folks quiet scare. When they picked the wrong guy,
he runs out the door to chase them and kicks.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Them in the dairy.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
Are they like the bullet caper with the roll of
toilet paper making feed down?
Speaker 7 (39:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Mean they're cruising for some trouble.
Speaker 4 (39:54):
Then we're about the bustard bubble on the trailer park
pel Wais Trailer Park, hell Aways trailer Park Halloways too
old for trick or treating. Some of them can use
of beating trailer park Helloweens. It's a trailer park Halloways
(40:19):
Trailer Park, Halloways went all this vandalism, They just might
end up in prison trailer Park, Halloways. And there you
have it, our cautionary tail of the season for all
the pupping heads in the audience. Y'all act like you
(40:40):
got some smart have a safe and happy Halloween, and
Quitt running my life.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
This makes y'all. The radio John bop Been and.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
Taylor Fellers Ready, Jackie and you listening?
Speaker 7 (40:56):
Hi?
Speaker 5 (40:57):
How you are listening to two of the funny It's
guys on the radio and my fraternity brothers at the
Raccoon Lodge, John Boy and Philly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
Are they funny? Are they funny? Oh?
Speaker 10 (41:12):
Hello, good morning, It's a Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
We're rolling till your Thursday.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Halloween got a few minutes, dog right, and Naga finally
made it back to Vegas after he called his last
race last week.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Get Jerry bringing us a bunch of money if tot put.
Speaker 3 (42:08):
Five dollars on red and yeah, well you know they
say whatever happens in Vegas states in Vegas.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
We didn't mean for him.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Money as well, though.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Hey, y'all, this a heads up.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
In about twenty four hours we will announce finalists number
five for the Big Show. Custom Motorcycle Ron Thompson out
of Greenville, Tennessee, was finalist four earlier this week. He
joined Oh Dwayne from Onner Robins, Georgia Dave from Jasper, Alabama,
and Jean Rowano grappas North Carolina. And we will have
(42:43):
one more finalists. We will lod Tiger's gonna draw that
in about twenty four hours. Let us know, We will
tell you. And then next week, out of those five finalists,
somebody wins that Big Show Coastal Motors.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Whoo oh right, good deal, you got time.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Now, you got twenty four hours to get your name
and the hat. Go to Big showbike dot com. Other
Thing's NASCAR board Doug Rising minutes, Big Show rolls home
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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