November 21, 2024 • 45 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, some flight attendants are trying to spice up their required instructional announcements and we have some examples.. - With the Holidays approaching, we figure now is a good time to remind everyone some of the bad gift ideas for women.. - Lipless comes in to try out some “new” material.. - We’ll revisit the true story of N.C. native, Tom Dooley.. - We’ll get another update on Operation Christmas Child with Randy Riddle from the Samaritan’s Purse.. - and today is National Smoke Out Day - and Mad Max is still not a fan!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning. This is George W.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Bush, former President of the United States of America, and
uh to the republic for which it stance. And uh,
let me just say this, John Boy and Billy I forgot.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
What they're on or something.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Listen to them the end.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio. But
it's Thursday, Thursday morning. Randy making fun of me wearing
my Carolina panthers no fishing, I sincerely with.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
My name on the back of it.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I sincerely meant I thought you looked nice in that.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Uh huh, Randy, you are going to get it.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Let's go watch some films of yesterday's big show and
I'll wait for one smart remark.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I said, I really think you know you pull that off.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I really do see athletic.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
I see you work out a lot and you've lost
a lot of weight.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
I thought you were being that that you know, cynical
smarty Randy.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
No, that was the I'm hitting on you, Randy, which
is scarier. Go back to me, sincy Randy.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
But uh, anyway, Yeah, hometown Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
What team y'all pull for across America?
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Don't matter because it probably ain't ours has some problems, man,
But I.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
Mean, you know, as a volatile said situation, it's volatile tempers.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
That's why I follow the college teams. John, all that money,
it changes things, don't you say? Yeah, that should throw
all that money in there. These attitudes come up on.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
That debate team. I mean, you know there were some
heated arguments there.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
The Chess club, thebate team would fight like girls.
Speaker 7 (02:19):
Yeah, and the av squad can be so caddy.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Some of those guys can slap pretty hard.
Speaker 5 (02:28):
Oh man say, and if you would have kept with it,
you could have been by now, you could have been
a master.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It could have been somebody I caught it. Noah, I
like them. Hang on there. We're gona give you legs
up playing out burst, your chance to win, fill the
thrill of victory, the agony of his feet. Hang on, good.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Morning, the Big Show was on the radio, and his
Thursday and no remember the twenty first here would go
giving you legs up for the categories.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
We're gonna have an outburst coming up next. If you
wish to play this along, as might help you. And
if not, just think along with us.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
It always helps it think first thing in the morning
I found on this day. In eighteen seventy one, Emilio
on Norah became the world's first human cannon ball. Whether
he liked jumping a pool or.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Something, well, that's all the details we have.
Speaker 8 (03:18):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Was it on purpose? Was it an accident? He did
it on purpose?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
And that's all I could find. I'll hear out the
whole web.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Wow, So soon as he comes down, we'll let you
know what happens. They can't find him, they would talk
to him more about it, all right, Emilio, all right
on the state.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
Six years later, in eighteen seventy seven, inventor Thomas Edison
announced the invention of his hand cranked tinfoil cylinder phonograph,
which he dubbed a talking machine. Edison had been working
on a way to record telegraph messages when he accidentally
discovered that the etchings produced on the wax cylinder reproduced
his voice. This led him to wonder if he could
(03:55):
record telephone messages instead, so on a whim, he spoke
the words to Mary had a little lamb into the
machine's mouthpiece, and was stunned to discover that his voice
was reproduced by the machine. Although the phonograph was in
part a happy accident, it was Edison's favorite invention, but
it was always peeve that he became primarily a source
(04:17):
for musical recordings, since he had marketed it to be
used as an educational device for the blind.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
So he was basically trying to invent the answering machine
and discovered it by accident.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Actually, well, he was trying to invent the telegraph I mean,
a way of recording telegraph signals so an operator could
leave the station from time to time.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
He accidentally discovered, hey, he recorded the voice. I wonder
if it.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
Would record telephone, And that's when he discovered it would
record voice.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I don't want the record player, I want the answering machine,
like you.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
That I actually I called the Thomas Edison Museum yesterday
and got a copy of the very first recording in.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
The original Mary had a little lamb.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
I know you're thinking, oh, John bonbelly, all right this.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
Time it it really is, because I was curious if
he might Okay, it's off in Stea's rooms.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Can see Can you play for me?
Speaker 9 (05:05):
Nelly, sleek FuG, I'm lovely. Well, the furry went more.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Sounds like a stanza from Seinfeld.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
That was the original. Really, that's Thomas Edison where the
original recording. That's the very first recording I ever met,
from eighteen seventy seven.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
That's what they say.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's the oldest thing I've ever heard in my life.
That is so cool. I have a message at the blurt. Okay,
we'll fix that later. Marry hot a little lamb as
fleece was white as snow. Wait again, lady Nellie, I'm lovely.
Well the furry went, oh no, no, no, babe. Look,
(05:45):
we're gonna have to get back to you. We maybe
have a midday spot open for you a little bit later.
All right, final leg up this state.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Nineteen seventy six, Vernon Bass of Sarasota, Florida, eight six
hundred eighty four oysters in twenty minutes. Yoh, you go
over to I don't have an need of us chance.
It was a world record back then, but volume oyster
eating is no longer a Guinness sanctioned record event.
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Now we know this, but we we only know the
guy's name that was the first human cannon band. Do
you think that would have gotten a ride up somewhere.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
The oyster thing because a guy died. Tommy, Oh, is
that right there? I'm sure you can't eat all that.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
My boy here danger and needs six hundred and eighty
four horses. What you have to say?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Six hundred eighty four folk, six hundred and eighty fours
in twenty minutes.
Speaker 10 (06:42):
Keep going, baby, We're gonna stretch that haul belly right out.
I know why they don't do it anymore because I've
to the guy just drinking them a big jar.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
All right, watch yeffish uncle George, Yeah I do, but
only six hundred eighty four might be a little all right,
you an tote your legs up, calling ninety big show.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
You'll play with his next Good morning. There's a big
(07:31):
show on the radio five the hour, and we're we
do this contact Outburst. Let's play Outburst.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
It's the game that anyone can win, John boy, and
really give.
Speaker 11 (07:46):
Your prizes from the big prize Pa.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Let's go he contested number one.
Speaker 11 (07:51):
Al.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
This should be a lot of funks when you're playing Outburst.
Have a hurry up and guests tongue. You want the best.
You love them big shots, all right, call them shot
at it's Joe, he need hello, Hello, Joe, how you
(08:20):
doing this morning?
Speaker 9 (08:21):
Mane?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
All right? Are you ready to jump on in here
and play?
Speaker 9 (08:25):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
We're gonna give a try ah, Joe like your attitude?
You mean?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
All right, Joe, it's a good price package. We're gonna
be strict, all right, Joe.
Speaker 9 (08:36):
You hear that.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I heard Brandy is gonna be strict, all right, Joe.
Three circus acts ready, go, Oh, I'm.
Speaker 9 (08:46):
About the elephants, the clowns and Nigo tigers, Oh.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
My ma and the boy Joe.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Four point two seconds, all right, Joe.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Three musical recordings ready?
Speaker 11 (08:58):
Go?
Speaker 9 (08:59):
Are you talking about reck?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I don't know. Is that a musical recording? A musical recording?
Speaker 11 (09:06):
Ready? Go?
Speaker 9 (09:07):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Tape CDs and nail peace.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well that works, okay. They don't have to be specific
like that. What a thing jumping?
Speaker 9 (09:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You don't get to be Joe bub being stupid, you know?
Speaker 9 (09:22):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Joe, here we go for the wind. Three shell fish ready, go?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Oh uh?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Flounder Oh no.
Speaker 7 (09:37):
No, hard to find a good flounder in the shell nowadays.
At least it's the pleiostacene era.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
Yeah yeah, Joe, No now, shrimp, yeah, oysters, gallery, clam scallops. Yeah, yeah,
but trounder, Joe, we're gonna need you to come in
on Saturday. Dr Flo.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
See they call them shellfish because they have a shell.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Hey with Joe, Well, you did win the prize baggage,
but you picked a good content to lose, because we
make all our losers of outbursts happy because we figure
that's the way to start out today.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Huh So that's what I've thought for two it's your
favorite trounder or float right, Joe? What's up? Filipidos?
Speaker 9 (10:34):
This child?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Two hundred pounds of twist and steel and sex appeal?
Speaker 12 (10:39):
The American dreams don't get us doing North Cakilaki, North Cakilak,
(11:15):
Good Martin.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
The big show is on the radio.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the in
flight safety lecture in their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
And here are some real examples that have been heard
and reported. There may be.
Speaker 5 (11:30):
Fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only
four ways out of this airplane after landing. Thank you
for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving
us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you
for a ride.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
As the plane landed.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
And was coming to a stop at Washington, National voice
came over the loudspeaker, WHOA big fella, WHOA After particularly
rough landing during thunderstorms and Memphis, the flight attendant on
a Northwest flight announced, please take care when opening the
over head compartments because after landing like that, sure as
hell everything has shifted. From a Southwest Airline employee, to
(12:08):
operate your seat belt and serve the metal tab into
the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every
other seat belt, and if you don't know how to
operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public on supervised.
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
oxygen mask will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab
the mask and pull it over your face. If you
have a small child traveling with you, secure your masks
before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two
(12:30):
or more small children, decide now which one you love more.
That weather at our destination is fifty degrees with some
broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before
we land. Thank you, and remember nobody loves you or
your money more than Southwest Airline.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Here's one.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Your seat cushions can be used for floatation and then
the event of an emergency water landing. Please take them
with our compliments. Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said,
we've reached our crew altitude now and I'm turning off
the seat belt sign. I'm switching to autopilot two so
I can come back there and visit with all of
you for the rest of the flight. Should the cabin
(13:09):
loose pressure, oxygen mask will drop from the overhead area.
Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose
before assisting children or adults acting like children. As you
exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Last one off the plane. Must clean it like that.
From the pilot during.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
His welcome message, we are pleased to have some of
the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of
them are on this flight. Herd Old Southwest Airlines. Just
after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City, the
flight attendant came on the intercom and said, that was
quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking,
I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault.
It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault,
(13:55):
It was the asphalt. Overheard on American Airlines flight Amarillo, Texas.
On a particularly windy and bumpy day. After an extremely
hard landing, the flight attendant came to the PA and announced,
ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your
seats with your seat bells fastened, while the Captain taxis
what's left of our airplane to the game. Another flight
(14:17):
attendant's comment on less than a perfect landing, we asked
you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us
to the terminal. An airline pilot wrote that on this
particular flight, he had hammered his ship into the runway
really hard. The airline had a policy which required the
first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited,
smile and give them a thanks for flying this airline.
(14:39):
He said that in light of his bad landing, he
had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye,
thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone
had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
She said, Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?
Why no, ma'am?
Speaker 8 (14:53):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Little old lady said? Did we land? Or were we shot?
Speaker 9 (14:57):
Now?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the
flight attendant came on with ladies and gentlemen, please remain
in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have
brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate.
And once the tire smoke is cleared and the warning
bells are silas, will open the door and you can
pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Is that Randy?
Speaker 5 (15:20):
And finally part of a flight attendants arrival announcement, we'd
like to thank you folks for flying with us today,
and the next time you get the urge to go
blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we
hope you'll think of us here at US Airway. Good morning,
(16:01):
the big show was on the radio. Yeah, go ahead,
about to die a little bad phone.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You know what we're doing. Let's see what never en
this morning?
Speaker 7 (16:11):
Man?
Speaker 9 (16:15):
Hell has this you?
Speaker 8 (16:19):
Oh my?
Speaker 9 (16:20):
I want to find about it?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
No man job here.
Speaker 9 (16:23):
Oh I said here you big old hey nold driving,
no picking nickel dragon garrulous garrulous that means given to
prosy rambling or tedious moneylog. In other words, motor.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Mount die new leaders died just here already.
Speaker 9 (16:41):
Yeah, I was just sitting here on the commode increasing
my words. Good for you.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Now, what's deb up too?
Speaker 9 (16:48):
I just got back in town last night. He been
going on a hunting trip for about a week.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Well where'd he go?
Speaker 9 (16:54):
Bad hunting in Canada?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Canada?
Speaker 8 (16:57):
Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 9 (16:57):
Remember all Honkey davenports out. We are superstore right there
on the bypass. We never bought that stupid deer costume
a while barre. Yeah, yeah, Well they give a lot
of this big prize. It's a week long spring bear
hunting trip up in Saskatchewan with old Honkey hisself.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And de one.
Speaker 9 (17:16):
Well, no, not head one, who's not head This buddy
Arnge He called deverd f mass him to go with him.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
They didn't invite you.
Speaker 9 (17:23):
Well, hey, we live together, we ain't married. Beside, there's
a trip for two.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Okay, what did they get any bears?
Speaker 8 (17:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (17:30):
I got one, but got killed doing it.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Oh boy, what's the deal.
Speaker 9 (17:35):
Well, there were, saysdays up for about four days. Didn't
see bear one the whole time. So that evening old
Honkey broke out this big old deep frat turkey fire
and some copper tubing, and hooked up a little makeshift
still cooked up about of homemade shine, and the three
of them commenced to sit there and get blissed. Roser
(17:57):
the liquor didn't get along too good with all Honkey's
original turkey jerkey they've been eating all day. Never says
he walked up about four o'clock in the morning and
felt the call of the wild so sweet. He gets
up and stumbles out of the little cabin there and
walks out in the woods a little ways. Take him
a squaw you know.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
What turn a phrase.
Speaker 9 (18:19):
I can't help it anyways, debt scratch down there next
to this big old tree. All of a sudden, here's
this low, puffy breathing sound coming from real close by.
A twig snaped right behind him. He turns around and
there stands a big old seven foot by. Oh, that's
what he says. So Never just kind of froze there
(18:40):
for a second, and that bear started in with this
real low growling sound, honkers his shoulder down and takes
off headed right for Dever. Well, he figures his only
chances to run for it, so he takes off toward
the cabin. The only thing is he didn't have time
to hitch up his breeches. He's kind of holding them
together while he runs. Well, that bear is closing fast,
(19:04):
so debris really pouring it all. But right as he
gets to the front porch of the cabin, reaches out
to open up the door. He had to turn loose
of his breches to do it. Well, they dropped down
around his ankles and he tripped and fell flat on
his face right in front of the door. Aw man,
that's what he said. Now, all the bar had done
built up so much speed. He tripped right over delbor
(19:25):
to land there and rolled right through the door of
the cabin where Honkey and notthead was. So what did
he do? The same thing I would have done. He
reached up and shut the door. Then he run around
and pecked on the winter and said, okay, y'all skin now,
and I'll bring you another.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
So Honky and Knothead killed a bear.
Speaker 9 (19:46):
Well, both of them got scratched up right fierce, but
old nighthead. He's a mean drunk. Take him about ten
minutes before he cleaned Old Yogie's client. Good Honky's having
him stuff. He's gonna put it up in the store.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Can't wait to see that.
Speaker 9 (19:59):
Yeah, he took a real good picture of Debritt laying
there with the bear. After his all over the bear,
they dragged him out on the porch and got Debritt
crashed down beside him with his britches pulled down over
his butt. I'll send you one. Hey, that's not right here, men,
Grizzly Adams is fixing to go to what you're gonna
see girl? Yeah, well, well you tell him. I said,
uh huh, he don't know what you mean.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Bye.
Speaker 9 (20:21):
Y'all keep saying up hi.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Ye, what's happening? What's going on? Rabby slowbo here? Listen there.
Then I'm in the kitchen.
Speaker 13 (20:34):
Ripping up some trip locks or shothing, get filthy fish
on a big part of those.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Hurt and slapping shaking.
Speaker 13 (20:44):
Nothing keeps a smile on my face like listening to
my favorite Schlameel and slimmozzles, John Boy and Billy Down
Regular Harsh and Fee Incorporated.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
See you guys on right necks? Huh, what's that like?
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Good morning? The Big Show is on the radio. Wait,
coming up on John Moore Jeopardy time.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
All right, let me get this car rut here. Hello
Big Show?
Speaker 8 (21:40):
Hello, Hello, hello, hello, you got time to talk? You
ain't got the Riddler on the other line. No, man,
is Ricky be sharp? From how you pot lickers doing
up there?
Speaker 9 (21:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
We away? Way man?
Speaker 5 (21:58):
What are you doing in doth And? I thought you
joined the army? Couldn't the doctor find his microscope for
the physical or.
Speaker 8 (22:08):
Uh another little figure in the old comedy proctology for
your information? There, doctor Killjoy, I passed the physical example
of flat colors. Huh, it doesn't blow it on the
written part.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Oh, I get it. Couldn't that balance? That big old
pencil on your shoulder? Not too bad? Lucy r Wasn't
that holding for you?
Speaker 9 (22:29):
Man?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It might have helped?
Speaker 8 (22:29):
Uh everybody? Ah, the little jab of the old comedy
bread bag. If I don't there general nuisance your information,
that's a victim of circumstance. Cherry picker, cherry picker. That
test is full of trick questions like like what well,
nosy Nate? If you got to know. The one that
really scotched it for me was this, Uh, do you
(22:52):
favor the overthrow of the United States government by forced
subversion or violence?
Speaker 9 (22:57):
Well?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You said no, right, Well, uh, not exactly.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
I thought he was a multiple choice.
Speaker 9 (23:04):
I said violence.
Speaker 8 (23:07):
I got the boot right quick man.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
How could you miss that one?
Speaker 8 (23:11):
I know, towards the bottom of the test there, and
I was getting tuckered.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
Out, specs sol, you had your work cut out for you,
poor little fellow like you, having to run back and
forth across the page just to read the questions.
Speaker 8 (23:24):
No more, I'm gonna get in with you for all
the time. You mark me. What you gonna do here?
Speaker 9 (23:31):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Hello, Hello, helloay lucy r. So our little soldier didn't
make it into the army huh no, sir, And he
was to be tied.
Speaker 14 (23:45):
And he picked a cuss of the blue streak so
bad I had to stick him in a mason jar,
put it on the back of porch.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Isn't that dangerous?
Speaker 14 (23:53):
No bunch of calls and the I'm goin to toss
in that half little glass of twigs? Why is that accidentally?
Cast it a big old caterpillar. I iver got him.
I had a could a bat of a cocoon.
Speaker 8 (24:11):
Don't tell him none of that stuff. He'll just turn
it against me.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Hell, that reggae bee, Now that you're out of that cocoon,
what kind of butterfly you gonna be?
Speaker 8 (24:21):
See what I told you? Stupid? I gotta go. I
gotta have a long talk with a legendary doping Why reggae?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
What talk do you say? Little money? Good Bye, bye,
good bye, good morning. The Big Show was on the radio. Unbelievable,
Come out of bathroom. Jackie is hiding under the table
and a lot outside the great room to scare me.
She's so pleased with herself. My protg was a good one.
(24:53):
And then yes, she was still talking about that, and
Randon got her when she from what are we doing
like children?
Speaker 5 (25:01):
The bathroom door open, I said, scaring pillars, and pillars
looked at me.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
So I slid under the table.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
You lift one leg like you're gonna.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
Fight in here.
Speaker 7 (25:10):
That's my lotus decision of the crane, it's natural he
goes for the oriental crane.
Speaker 9 (25:20):
Thing.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
It comes out like Frasier crane coming up.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
We'll hear about Ward Burton store YEP. About fifteen twenty
minutes right now is John Mojevitary time. Today's question. The
earliest models of vacuum cleaners did not run on electricity.
They were powered by.
Speaker 7 (25:38):
This little tiny elephant. He stuck his trunk out the hole,
didn't he? I saw it on the Flint Store.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
I love my job. That was pretty early of it.
I think.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
I don't think that was real life, much less like
the the bird that played the phonograph record.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I tried that.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
It's just the man who's been talking to a hell of.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
That's different. I'm talking to him. I expected nothing out
of it. We got a picture of that. Alright, what
y'all think? One eight hundred Big Show, you're tote free line.
We'll start with calling nine go to we get a winter.
Let's do it. Good morning. The Big Show is on
(26:45):
the radio, moving around the bottom of the hour, and
that is time.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
Yes live across on my rock hodeads jutting just forty
and now your host in the top five of my
adults twenty five to fifty four and a thirty share
with cows ages twelve and up.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
He's John Barr. Let's start.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
Let's start off with Trey out of Madison, Florida. Good morning,
tray morning, John boy, Now you thinking this morning?
Speaker 9 (27:18):
I'm doing really good today.
Speaker 8 (27:19):
Uh, first time caller.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
All right, welcome out, Trey Welder. All right, buddy, let's
see what you got. I'm gonna say, kerosene, show us kerosene.
Speaker 7 (27:34):
You know, make the inside your house too smoky? The
carpet would be clean, yeah, but yeah, you wouldn't be
able to see out the windows.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Alright, Trey, thanks for playing, buddy. Have a good day.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Alright, Dan, Tim out of Athens, Georgia. You are up, Tim, Hey,
how y'all doing good?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Man's they're looking for a winter? What you got?
Speaker 5 (27:52):
I think it was a Bellows type thing?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
A Bellows type thing? Show us Bellows? Now, do you
have any idea what he's talking about? Bellows? I think
it's a Manda Bellows my dreaming genie anytime.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
You know those things are kind of tear drop shape
that have the according in the middle and.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Use the thing you use.
Speaker 8 (28:17):
Using using the suck back.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh I see, So like we
had the Bellows, you put it down.
Speaker 9 (28:23):
The car and.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
That is the sound I have to figure out now.
I like the what you think? Tim?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I logical?
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Well man, dude, we got Ronnie out of Johnson City, Tennessee. Ronnie,
you are up, buddy.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yes, what do you think was the first vacuum cleaners
powered by?
Speaker 12 (28:44):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Would say, overhead lighting?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Show us overhead lighting? You mean like the bumper.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Cars, like solar power. I'm assuming to the roofs like
one Ali, Ronnie.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Thanks for playing man, alright, you too. Brian out of
rock Hill, South Carolina. Good morning, Brian.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Are you doing doing good man? What do you think?
Speaker 9 (29:12):
I just say it was some kind of like a
hand pump, some kind of like a hand.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Pump, so it would be powered by humans. Was thinking
about no, Brian, But thanks for playing with us.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
All right, thanks, all right, man, we're still going. We
got Gary out of Richmond, Virginia. Good morning, Gary, Good
morning John boy and Benny.
Speaker 8 (29:35):
What's up man?
Speaker 1 (29:36):
You are, Bunny? You okay this morning?
Speaker 9 (29:38):
Oh man?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I am doing fine.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
I cannot believe I got through to you guys.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Well here you are, Gary fine? Wrong answers so far?
Speaker 11 (29:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (29:47):
So uh so? Gary?
Speaker 11 (29:48):
What do you think I'm thinking?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
It's jazz show us gas o'lane. Well you're right on
in here. Gary. That sounds no fake.
Speaker 8 (30:00):
Believe it.
Speaker 5 (30:01):
That's a closer with kerosene than any one. Yeah, gasoline
powered vacuum cleaner.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Unbelievable. Got a wild isn't it.
Speaker 9 (30:08):
Now?
Speaker 1 (30:08):
That'd be fun. I could see like vacuuming like that
if you could like ride it like a ride.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
In a law.
Speaker 7 (30:13):
But you can only vacuum for like thirty seconds at
a time. Then you have to go outside or you'd
pass out.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I've always liked smell gas, ever since I was pumpa gas.
I like smell of gas.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Ah, that explains a lot.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
All right, Well Gary, you win, Buddy oh Man, that
is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Well, I'm glad you want to got through their girl
in beautiful Richmond, Virginia. Hold on, Garret Jacket gets your stuff.
Good morning, you got the Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 11 (30:40):
Hey, horses and horse sets. That's your old pel Garret busy.
I'm not working a lot over abusy Nissan or working
the fire over abusive burgers calling Gaylord Sartage two in
the morning to sing Buddy Hollo tunes. I'm listening to
my favorite fill of head injury patience tumble every morning
(31:01):
on the Big Show. Ben. When is the last time
I had hand?
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Good morning, you got the Big show on the radio.
Gifts women don't really won't y'all.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Just never learned, just never see. Any day is a
good gift day.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah whatever, there rose a week. I'm trying to help
get rows a week O'donald White.
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Woman doesn't love getting presents in general, this is true.
But if you get her the wrong gift, she insulted
or realized that you two just aren't shoppers from the
same great, big catalog that is life. If you want
your relationship to last and don't wrap any of these
items in a big bowl, she may not give you
a kiss his thanks, but rather the kiss off. Number
(32:15):
One bad gift a year's supply of bug spray for
those long backcountry camping trips you plan on taking with
her this summer.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
It sounds like a good idea, trying to keep bugs
off baby. Oh you love me after all? Huh have
you ever bought more than one can of bug spray
in your life? I got two in the truck. Okay,
one for you and one for Jackie.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
I hate to wreck of surprise since they're not rapped yet.
Bad gift of vacuum cleaner. Yes, I don't know those
things be expensive. I mean good vacuum cleaner. A mirror
installed in the ceiling of her bedroom.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
They say, is a bad I gave myself that President. No,
I don't need to be seeing all that I have.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
To stare at the ceiling.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Lingerie.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
That's five sizes too large, too large, Yeah, I think
anything too large.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
You never can win buying clothing for women.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Oh yeah, you think I'm fat.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (33:15):
If you buy it too small, they think they're fat.
If you buy it too large, they think you think.
Speaker 5 (33:22):
A frame photo of your mother, they're bads.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Never staring at me all the time. Stamps cash, they say,
cash is back. It's always a perfect Okay, Jackie, this
is putting a crible on me finding something for your birthday.
I don't have a mirror in my bedroom.
Speaker 10 (33:42):
Town.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Don't make him take that bucks breay back.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
I've already talked to Tay.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
She's got him covered.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Framed photo copies of your butt that they're framed a dog.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Be careful.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Birthday gifts. Women don't really want it, says oil of Olay.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
My mother begs for oil.
Speaker 11 (34:09):
I know they won't.
Speaker 13 (34:10):
Don't you want bet, I would guess just because it's
you know, it's not the retail it's not the department
store stuff.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
One of those mirrors from funhouses that makes her look obese.
A new sewing kit is a bad idea, says here.
An ankle bracelet like Martha Stewart's. Hey gift certificate for
five free rounds at the local shooting.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Range, Now, my wife, that's it.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Get a skilled that's good. A subscription to Field and Stream.
This guy has been thinking though. A beer brewing kit.
It's been regifted. I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Got you going to get me one?
Speaker 5 (34:56):
So this way you make your gonna have a mirror,
so and see it from the bed. Twenty four hour
access to tech support. Yeah, they gift certificate for light
bosunction brow sures, for breast implants, a padded bra a
copy of the South Beach Diet, a surprise dinner for
(35:19):
two at your favorite restaurant instead of hers.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I guess I see that one.
Speaker 5 (35:23):
And finally, bad gift idea for you woman, a three
pack of Granny underwear.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Well, especially when you can get them in bonus pats
where they throw in that.
Speaker 7 (35:33):
Extra pair exactly they come in six is actually me
You can buy them one with an.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Extra, not a big lot.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
All right, So hope we help. Good morning, a big show.
(36:09):
It's on the radio.
Speaker 5 (36:12):
All right, here's our first man in the hours. Ladies
and gentlemen, lipless come on here, lipless.
Speaker 11 (36:18):
Hey, y'all want he man?
Speaker 5 (36:19):
Hey ready, Hey, yacky you midy that hi heyler, I'll
shore all with her to thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Get into good huh personation Colonel shatter a Colonel white
Whiteley woke, woke, Look, he said, all right, jealous hockey,
I got with hoy here woy. How does white Titan cry?
Hat her?
Speaker 9 (36:48):
Heck?
Speaker 7 (36:48):
Why does Mike Tyson cry after sing? I'm guessing it's
the pepper spray.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
You can't called happy.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
Happy?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Why war? He feared he might never get.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Why what do a hazards hornado and hey no horse
haveing a column?
Speaker 7 (37:10):
A Kansas tornado and a Mississippi divorced have in common?
They both involve somebody losing a trailer.
Speaker 11 (37:19):
Right.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
I had somebody outside saying it sounded like a rane.
There's somebody outside.
Speaker 9 (37:27):
It sounded like.
Speaker 7 (37:29):
Remember this is a Mississippi and they possibly have here
shof well this way yeah, yeah. Why do chicken coop have?
Who do Why do chicken coops have two door bars?
Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedan.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Car, I had none. Show chickens cat door none, chickens
can't open door. Well, wait a minute, I want to say, yeah,
you didn't. Well, you don't argue with you? Are you
arguing with me or yourself? I don't argue with a
worse And isn't that a hopeful? Say, there's a difference.
(38:14):
What Hong on onion in a wan?
Speaker 7 (38:16):
Show the difference between an onion and a banjo. Nobody
cries when you cut up a banjo.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
You know what, Joe Lord, I had you can Hickey?
Whoa would only eat one? You can pick it both.
Speaker 7 (38:32):
Crew, Harry Honey, exactly what's the definition? And hurd on
what's the definition of an internal optimist? A banjo player
with a beeper?
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Why you get way up ahead?
Speaker 11 (38:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Somebody works at al Gore for hesitant. All can read
was right out of the Hey you know today.
Speaker 7 (39:00):
Headline wrapped right on the pages of today's Thank You
Understanding with Helen.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I don't go out here one, I say, hye, lovelas
he's gonna get on out of here. He cut up,
he said, shut up right, Hey, good morning. The big
shows on the radio.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Dippointed, miss man, I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
What come on?
Speaker 11 (39:30):
Bloody hell?
Speaker 5 (39:31):
Hello, this is Ozzie Osbourne and I hate bubbles, but
I love John Bo and Billy and the whole gang
at the big show.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Who are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Rocky roll?
Speaker 5 (39:53):
Mh good morning everybody. You got a big show on
(40:19):
the radio? John Jay there, Stevie ain't out here with
red the jacket. All right, hey man, this listen to
story fillers gave me. Y'all, y'all got to hear it
is from Northwest Florida Daily News, the story of a
(40:40):
Cresview couple who drove their car to Walmart, only to
have a car break down in the parking lot. The
man told his wife carry on with a shopping while
he fixed the car in the lot. Well, the rife
came back later, saw a small group of people near
the car, and on closer inspection, she saw a pair
of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Although the man was in shorts, his.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
Lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
So say, goodness, he's under the car.
Speaker 5 (41:09):
He's wearing short legs ticking out and his privates there
go ahead, tatter love stories like this. So his lack
of underpants, okay, was I so private parts there? Unable
to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put
her hand up his shorts and tucked everything back into place. Oh,
(41:34):
she regained her face. She stepped back up, looked across
the hood and saw her husband, who was standing idly by.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
The mechanic. However, had to have three stitches sewn into
his forehead.
Speaker 6 (41:56):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Randon said, he's seen this before, and I.
Speaker 5 (41:59):
Had heard this supposially a true story FBI agent's rate
of a psychiatric hospital San Diego under investigation for medical
insurance fraud, and after hours of reviewing thousands of medical
records of dozens of agents, had worked up an appetite.
So the agent in charge called a nearby pizza parlor
with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.
(42:20):
And this is the actual telephone conversation that took place
and was recorded by the FBI because they were taking
all conversations at the hospital.
Speaker 6 (42:28):
All right, So thank I say, before you read this,
I just went to snoops, the source for finding NFL
these sort of things are true or not Snape says,
this is.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
A true story.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Okay, all right, so FBI okay, age right here. It
is FBI agent.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Hello, I'd like to order nineteen large pizzas and three
cases of soda, Pizza man, and where would you like
them delivered? We're over at the psychiatric hospital, the psychiatric hospital.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
That's right. I'm an FBI agent. You're an FBI agent.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
That's correct. Just about everybody here is. And you're at
the psychiatric hospital, that's correct. And make sure you don't
go through the front doors. We have them locked. You'll
have to go around to the back of service entrance
to deliver the pizzas. And you say, you're all FBI agents.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
How soon can you have them here?
Speaker 5 (43:16):
Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
So how are you going to pay for all this?
Speaker 5 (43:25):
We collected a pool of cash and you're all FBI agents, yes,
with guns, that's right.
Speaker 11 (43:32):
Now?
Speaker 5 (43:33):
Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sold us
to the service interests in the rear? We have the
front doors locked. Pizza Man, no way.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Wow, And you've never heard that story?
Speaker 9 (43:46):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (43:47):
Wow, let me play you a little something right here.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Hey, this is pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Right here.
Speaker 5 (43:50):
Listen is FBI agents conducted at Charchiatric Hospital in San Diego,
those under investigations for medical and church brow So after
hours that we're viewing thousands of medical records, agents had
worked up an appetite.
Speaker 7 (44:01):
Never before he thinks, he thinks sometimes we're just giving
him a hard time about you.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Actually flat back what I'm just start calling you people?
Were you the one making the call?
Speaker 6 (44:17):
I think you're the guy who introduced Rayford with If
y'all didn't hear this the first five hundred times.
Speaker 7 (44:24):
I'm telling you, he's about two years away from being
able to hide his own Easter eggs.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
I ain't got time to listen to what I'm saying
that I'm busy. Oh bless you. Let me hear it again.
Speaker 9 (44:43):
You told so good.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
You want to hear them so good? I want to
hear it. This is pretty cool right here.
Speaker 9 (44:47):
Listen to this
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning. This is George W.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Bush, former President of the United States of America, and
uh to the republic for which it stance. And uh,
let me just say this, John Boy and Billy I forgot.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
What they're on or something.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
Listen to them the end.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio. But
it's Thursday, Thursday morning. Randy making fun of me wearing
my Carolina panthers no fishing, I sincerely with.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
My name on the back of it.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I sincerely meant I thought you looked nice in that.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Uh huh, Randy, you are going to get it.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Let's go watch some films of yesterday's big show and
I'll wait for one smart remark.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I said, I really think you know you pull that off.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
I really do see athletic.
Speaker 6 (01:27):
I see you work out a lot and you've lost
a lot of weight.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
I thought you were being that that you know, cynical
smarty Randy.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
No, that was the I'm hitting on you, Randy, which
is scarier. Go back to me, sincy Randy.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
But uh, anyway, Yeah, hometown Charlotte, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
What team y'all pull for across America?
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Don't matter because it probably ain't ours has some problems, man,
But I.
Speaker 5 (01:58):
Mean, you know, as a volatile said situation, it's volatile tempers.
Speaker 6 (02:02):
That's why I follow the college teams. John, all that money,
it changes things, don't you say? Yeah, that should throw
all that money in there. These attitudes come up on.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
That debate team. I mean, you know there were some
heated arguments there.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
The Chess club, thebate team would fight like girls.
Speaker 7 (02:19):
Yeah, and the av squad can be so caddy.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Some of those guys can slap pretty hard.
Speaker 5 (02:28):
Oh man say, and if you would have kept with it,
you could have been by now, you could have been
a master.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
It could have been somebody I caught it. Noah, I
like them. Hang on there. We're gona give you legs
up playing out burst, your chance to win, fill the
thrill of victory, the agony of his feet. Hang on, good.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
Morning, the Big Show was on the radio, and his
Thursday and no remember the twenty first here would go
giving you legs up for the categories.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
We're gonna have an outburst coming up next. If you
wish to play this along, as might help you. And
if not, just think along with us.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
It always helps it think first thing in the morning
I found on this day. In eighteen seventy one, Emilio
on Norah became the world's first human cannon ball. Whether
he liked jumping a pool or.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Something, well, that's all the details we have.
Speaker 8 (03:18):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Was it on purpose? Was it an accident? He did
it on purpose?
Speaker 3 (03:22):
And that's all I could find. I'll hear out the
whole web.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Wow, So soon as he comes down, we'll let you
know what happens. They can't find him, they would talk
to him more about it, all right, Emilio, all right
on the state.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
Six years later, in eighteen seventy seven, inventor Thomas Edison
announced the invention of his hand cranked tinfoil cylinder phonograph,
which he dubbed a talking machine. Edison had been working
on a way to record telegraph messages when he accidentally
discovered that the etchings produced on the wax cylinder reproduced
his voice. This led him to wonder if he could
(03:55):
record telephone messages instead, so on a whim, he spoke
the words to Mary had a little lamb into the
machine's mouthpiece, and was stunned to discover that his voice
was reproduced by the machine. Although the phonograph was in
part a happy accident, it was Edison's favorite invention, but
it was always peeve that he became primarily a source
(04:17):
for musical recordings, since he had marketed it to be
used as an educational device for the blind.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
So he was basically trying to invent the answering machine
and discovered it by accident.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Actually, well, he was trying to invent the telegraph I mean,
a way of recording telegraph signals so an operator could
leave the station from time to time.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
He accidentally discovered, hey, he recorded the voice. I wonder
if it.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
Would record telephone, And that's when he discovered it would
record voice.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
I don't want the record player, I want the answering machine,
like you.
Speaker 6 (04:46):
That I actually I called the Thomas Edison Museum yesterday
and got a copy of the very first recording in.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
The original Mary had a little lamb.
Speaker 5 (04:55):
I know you're thinking, oh, John bonbelly, all right this.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
Time it it really is, because I was curious if
he might Okay, it's off in Stea's rooms.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Can see Can you play for me?
Speaker 9 (05:05):
Nelly, sleek FuG, I'm lovely. Well, the furry went more.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Sounds like a stanza from Seinfeld.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
That was the original. Really, that's Thomas Edison where the
original recording. That's the very first recording I ever met,
from eighteen seventy seven.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
That's what they say.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's the oldest thing I've ever heard in my life.
That is so cool. I have a message at the blurt. Okay,
we'll fix that later. Marry hot a little lamb as
fleece was white as snow. Wait again, lady Nellie, I'm lovely.
Well the furry went, oh no, no, no, babe. Look,
(05:45):
we're gonna have to get back to you. We maybe
have a midday spot open for you a little bit later.
All right, final leg up this state.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Nineteen seventy six, Vernon Bass of Sarasota, Florida, eight six
hundred eighty four oysters in twenty minutes. Yoh, you go
over to I don't have an need of us chance.
It was a world record back then, but volume oyster
eating is no longer a Guinness sanctioned record event.
Speaker 7 (06:16):
Now we know this, but we we only know the
guy's name that was the first human cannon band. Do
you think that would have gotten a ride up somewhere.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
The oyster thing because a guy died. Tommy, Oh, is
that right there? I'm sure you can't eat all that.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
My boy here danger and needs six hundred and eighty
four horses. What you have to say?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Six hundred eighty four folk, six hundred and eighty fours
in twenty minutes.
Speaker 10 (06:42):
Keep going, baby, We're gonna stretch that haul belly right out.
I know why they don't do it anymore because I've
to the guy just drinking them a big jar.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
All right, watch yeffish uncle George, Yeah I do, but
only six hundred eighty four might be a little all right,
you an tote your legs up, calling ninety big show.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
You'll play with his next Good morning. There's a big
(07:31):
show on the radio five the hour, and we're we
do this contact Outburst. Let's play Outburst.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
It's the game that anyone can win, John boy, and
really give.
Speaker 11 (07:46):
Your prizes from the big prize Pa.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Let's go he contested number one.
Speaker 11 (07:51):
Al.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
This should be a lot of funks when you're playing Outburst.
Have a hurry up and guests tongue. You want the best.
You love them big shots, all right, call them shot
at it's Joe, he need hello, Hello, Joe, how you
(08:20):
doing this morning?
Speaker 9 (08:21):
Mane?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
All right? Are you ready to jump on in here
and play?
Speaker 9 (08:25):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
We're gonna give a try ah, Joe like your attitude?
You mean?
Speaker 3 (08:31):
All right, Joe, it's a good price package. We're gonna
be strict, all right, Joe.
Speaker 9 (08:36):
You hear that.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
I heard Brandy is gonna be strict, all right, Joe.
Three circus acts ready, go, Oh, I'm.
Speaker 9 (08:46):
About the elephants, the clowns and Nigo tigers, Oh.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
My ma and the boy Joe.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
Four point two seconds, all right, Joe.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Three musical recordings ready?
Speaker 11 (08:58):
Go?
Speaker 9 (08:59):
Are you talking about reck?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I don't know. Is that a musical recording? A musical recording?
Speaker 11 (09:06):
Ready? Go?
Speaker 9 (09:07):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Tape CDs and nail peace.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well that works, okay. They don't have to be specific
like that. What a thing jumping?
Speaker 9 (09:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
You don't get to be Joe bub being stupid, you know?
Speaker 9 (09:22):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Joe, here we go for the wind. Three shell fish ready, go?
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Oh uh?
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Flounder Oh no.
Speaker 7 (09:37):
No, hard to find a good flounder in the shell nowadays.
At least it's the pleiostacene era.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
Yeah yeah, Joe, No now, shrimp, yeah, oysters, gallery, clam scallops. Yeah, yeah,
but trounder, Joe, we're gonna need you to come in
on Saturday. Dr Flo.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
See they call them shellfish because they have a shell.
Speaker 5 (10:09):
Hey with Joe, Well, you did win the prize baggage,
but you picked a good content to lose, because we
make all our losers of outbursts happy because we figure
that's the way to start out today.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Huh So that's what I've thought for two it's your
favorite trounder or float right, Joe? What's up? Filipidos?
Speaker 9 (10:34):
This child?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Two hundred pounds of twist and steel and sex appeal?
Speaker 12 (10:39):
The American dreams don't get us doing North Cakilaki, North Cakilak,
(11:15):
Good Martin.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
The big show is on the radio.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the in
flight safety lecture in their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
And here are some real examples that have been heard
and reported. There may be.
Speaker 5 (11:30):
Fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only
four ways out of this airplane after landing. Thank you
for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving
us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you
for a ride.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
As the plane landed.
Speaker 5 (11:45):
And was coming to a stop at Washington, National voice
came over the loudspeaker, WHOA big fella, WHOA After particularly
rough landing during thunderstorms and Memphis, the flight attendant on
a Northwest flight announced, please take care when opening the
over head compartments because after landing like that, sure as
hell everything has shifted. From a Southwest Airline employee, to
(12:08):
operate your seat belt and serve the metal tab into
the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every
other seat belt, and if you don't know how to
operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public on supervised.
In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
oxygen mask will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab
the mask and pull it over your face. If you
have a small child traveling with you, secure your masks
before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two
(12:30):
or more small children, decide now which one you love more.
That weather at our destination is fifty degrees with some
broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before
we land. Thank you, and remember nobody loves you or
your money more than Southwest Airline.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Here's one.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Your seat cushions can be used for floatation and then
the event of an emergency water landing. Please take them
with our compliments. Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said,
we've reached our crew altitude now and I'm turning off
the seat belt sign. I'm switching to autopilot two so
I can come back there and visit with all of
you for the rest of the flight. Should the cabin
(13:09):
loose pressure, oxygen mask will drop from the overhead area.
Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose
before assisting children or adults acting like children. As you
exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Last one off the plane. Must clean it like that.
From the pilot during.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
His welcome message, we are pleased to have some of
the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of
them are on this flight. Herd Old Southwest Airlines. Just
after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City, the
flight attendant came on the intercom and said, that was
quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking,
I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault.
It wasn't the pilot's fault. It wasn't the flight attendant's fault,
(13:55):
It was the asphalt. Overheard on American Airlines flight Amarillo, Texas.
On a particularly windy and bumpy day. After an extremely
hard landing, the flight attendant came to the PA and announced,
ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your
seats with your seat bells fastened, while the Captain taxis
what's left of our airplane to the game. Another flight
(14:17):
attendant's comment on less than a perfect landing, we asked
you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us
to the terminal. An airline pilot wrote that on this
particular flight, he had hammered his ship into the runway
really hard. The airline had a policy which required the
first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited,
smile and give them a thanks for flying this airline.
(14:39):
He said that in light of his bad landing, he
had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye,
thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone
had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
She said, Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?
Why no, ma'am?
Speaker 8 (14:53):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Little old lady said? Did we land? Or were we shot?
Speaker 9 (14:57):
Now?
Speaker 5 (15:00):
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the
flight attendant came on with ladies and gentlemen, please remain
in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have
brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate.
And once the tire smoke is cleared and the warning
bells are silas, will open the door and you can
pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Is that Randy?
Speaker 5 (15:20):
And finally part of a flight attendants arrival announcement, we'd
like to thank you folks for flying with us today,
and the next time you get the urge to go
blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we
hope you'll think of us here at US Airway. Good morning,
(16:01):
the big show was on the radio. Yeah, go ahead,
about to die a little bad phone.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You know what we're doing. Let's see what never en
this morning?
Speaker 7 (16:11):
Man?
Speaker 9 (16:15):
Hell has this you?
Speaker 8 (16:19):
Oh my?
Speaker 9 (16:20):
I want to find about it?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
No man job here.
Speaker 9 (16:23):
Oh I said here you big old hey nold driving,
no picking nickel dragon garrulous garrulous that means given to
prosy rambling or tedious moneylog. In other words, motor.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Mount die new leaders died just here already.
Speaker 9 (16:41):
Yeah, I was just sitting here on the commode increasing
my words. Good for you.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Now, what's deb up too?
Speaker 9 (16:48):
I just got back in town last night. He been
going on a hunting trip for about a week.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Well where'd he go?
Speaker 9 (16:54):
Bad hunting in Canada?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Canada?
Speaker 8 (16:57):
Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 9 (16:57):
Remember all Honkey davenports out. We are superstore right there
on the bypass. We never bought that stupid deer costume
a while barre. Yeah, yeah, Well they give a lot
of this big prize. It's a week long spring bear
hunting trip up in Saskatchewan with old Honkey hisself.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And de one.
Speaker 9 (17:16):
Well, no, not head one, who's not head This buddy
Arnge He called deverd f mass him to go with him.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
They didn't invite you.
Speaker 9 (17:23):
Well, hey, we live together, we ain't married. Beside, there's
a trip for two.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Okay, what did they get any bears?
Speaker 8 (17:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (17:30):
I got one, but got killed doing it.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Oh boy, what's the deal.
Speaker 9 (17:35):
Well, there were, saysdays up for about four days. Didn't
see bear one the whole time. So that evening old
Honkey broke out this big old deep frat turkey fire
and some copper tubing, and hooked up a little makeshift
still cooked up about of homemade shine, and the three
of them commenced to sit there and get blissed. Roser
(17:57):
the liquor didn't get along too good with all Honkey's
original turkey jerkey they've been eating all day. Never says
he walked up about four o'clock in the morning and
felt the call of the wild so sweet. He gets
up and stumbles out of the little cabin there and
walks out in the woods a little ways. Take him
a squaw you know.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
What turn a phrase.
Speaker 9 (18:19):
I can't help it anyways, debt scratch down there next
to this big old tree. All of a sudden, here's
this low, puffy breathing sound coming from real close by.
A twig snaped right behind him. He turns around and
there stands a big old seven foot by. Oh, that's
what he says. So Never just kind of froze there
(18:40):
for a second, and that bear started in with this
real low growling sound, honkers his shoulder down and takes
off headed right for Dever. Well, he figures his only
chances to run for it, so he takes off toward
the cabin. The only thing is he didn't have time
to hitch up his breeches. He's kind of holding them
together while he runs. Well, that bear is closing fast,
(19:04):
so debris really pouring it all. But right as he
gets to the front porch of the cabin, reaches out
to open up the door. He had to turn loose
of his breches to do it. Well, they dropped down
around his ankles and he tripped and fell flat on
his face right in front of the door. Aw man,
that's what he said. Now, all the bar had done
built up so much speed. He tripped right over delbor
(19:25):
to land there and rolled right through the door of
the cabin where Honkey and notthead was. So what did
he do? The same thing I would have done. He
reached up and shut the door. Then he run around
and pecked on the winter and said, okay, y'all skin now,
and I'll bring you another.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
So Honky and Knothead killed a bear.
Speaker 9 (19:46):
Well, both of them got scratched up right fierce, but
old nighthead. He's a mean drunk. Take him about ten
minutes before he cleaned Old Yogie's client. Good Honky's having
him stuff. He's gonna put it up in the store.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Can't wait to see that.
Speaker 9 (19:59):
Yeah, he took a real good picture of Debritt laying
there with the bear. After his all over the bear,
they dragged him out on the porch and got Debritt
crashed down beside him with his britches pulled down over
his butt. I'll send you one. Hey, that's not right here, men,
Grizzly Adams is fixing to go to what you're gonna
see girl? Yeah, well, well you tell him. I said,
uh huh, he don't know what you mean.
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Bye.
Speaker 9 (20:21):
Y'all keep saying up hi.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Ye, what's happening? What's going on? Rabby slowbo here? Listen there.
Then I'm in the kitchen.
Speaker 13 (20:34):
Ripping up some trip locks or shothing, get filthy fish
on a big part of those.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Hurt and slapping shaking.
Speaker 13 (20:44):
Nothing keeps a smile on my face like listening to
my favorite Schlameel and slimmozzles, John Boy and Billy Down
Regular Harsh and Fee Incorporated.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
See you guys on right necks? Huh, what's that like?
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Good morning? The Big Show is on the radio. Wait,
coming up on John Moore Jeopardy time.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
All right, let me get this car rut here. Hello
Big Show?
Speaker 8 (21:40):
Hello, Hello, hello, hello, you got time to talk? You
ain't got the Riddler on the other line. No, man,
is Ricky be sharp? From how you pot lickers doing
up there?
Speaker 9 (21:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
We away? Way man?
Speaker 5 (21:58):
What are you doing in doth And? I thought you
joined the army? Couldn't the doctor find his microscope for
the physical or.
Speaker 8 (22:08):
Uh another little figure in the old comedy proctology for
your information? There, doctor Killjoy, I passed the physical example
of flat colors. Huh, it doesn't blow it on the
written part.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
Oh, I get it. Couldn't that balance? That big old
pencil on your shoulder? Not too bad? Lucy r Wasn't
that holding for you?
Speaker 9 (22:29):
Man?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It might have helped?
Speaker 8 (22:29):
Uh everybody? Ah, the little jab of the old comedy
bread bag. If I don't there general nuisance your information,
that's a victim of circumstance. Cherry picker, cherry picker. That
test is full of trick questions like like what well,
nosy Nate? If you got to know. The one that
really scotched it for me was this, Uh, do you
(22:52):
favor the overthrow of the United States government by forced
subversion or violence?
Speaker 9 (22:57):
Well?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You said no, right, Well, uh, not exactly.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
I thought he was a multiple choice.
Speaker 9 (23:04):
I said violence.
Speaker 8 (23:07):
I got the boot right quick man.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
How could you miss that one?
Speaker 8 (23:11):
I know, towards the bottom of the test there, and
I was getting tuckered.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
Out, specs sol, you had your work cut out for you,
poor little fellow like you, having to run back and
forth across the page just to read the questions.
Speaker 8 (23:24):
No more, I'm gonna get in with you for all
the time. You mark me. What you gonna do here?
Speaker 9 (23:31):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Hello, Hello, helloay lucy r. So our little soldier didn't
make it into the army huh no, sir, And he
was to be tied.
Speaker 14 (23:45):
And he picked a cuss of the blue streak so
bad I had to stick him in a mason jar,
put it on the back of porch.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Isn't that dangerous?
Speaker 14 (23:53):
No bunch of calls and the I'm goin to toss
in that half little glass of twigs? Why is that accidentally?
Cast it a big old caterpillar. I iver got him.
I had a could a bat of a cocoon.
Speaker 8 (24:11):
Don't tell him none of that stuff. He'll just turn
it against me.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Hell, that reggae bee, Now that you're out of that cocoon,
what kind of butterfly you gonna be?
Speaker 8 (24:21):
See what I told you? Stupid? I gotta go. I
gotta have a long talk with a legendary doping Why reggae?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
What talk do you say? Little money? Good Bye, bye,
good bye, good morning. The Big Show was on the radio. Unbelievable,
Come out of bathroom. Jackie is hiding under the table
and a lot outside the great room to scare me.
She's so pleased with herself. My protg was a good one.
(24:53):
And then yes, she was still talking about that, and
Randon got her when she from what are we doing
like children?
Speaker 5 (25:01):
The bathroom door open, I said, scaring pillars, and pillars
looked at me.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
So I slid under the table.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
You lift one leg like you're gonna.
Speaker 5 (25:08):
Fight in here.
Speaker 7 (25:10):
That's my lotus decision of the crane, it's natural he
goes for the oriental crane.
Speaker 9 (25:20):
Thing.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
It comes out like Frasier crane coming up.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
We'll hear about Ward Burton store YEP. About fifteen twenty
minutes right now is John Mojevitary time. Today's question. The
earliest models of vacuum cleaners did not run on electricity.
They were powered by.
Speaker 7 (25:38):
This little tiny elephant. He stuck his trunk out the hole,
didn't he? I saw it on the Flint Store.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
I love my job. That was pretty early of it.
I think.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
I don't think that was real life, much less like
the the bird that played the phonograph record.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I tried that.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
It's just the man who's been talking to a hell of.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
That's different. I'm talking to him. I expected nothing out
of it. We got a picture of that. Alright, what
y'all think? One eight hundred Big Show, you're tote free line.
We'll start with calling nine go to we get a winter.
Let's do it. Good morning. The Big Show is on
(26:45):
the radio, moving around the bottom of the hour, and
that is time.
Speaker 7 (26:48):
Yes live across on my rock hodeads jutting just forty
and now your host in the top five of my
adults twenty five to fifty four and a thirty share
with cows ages twelve and up.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
He's John Barr. Let's start.
Speaker 5 (27:10):
Let's start off with Trey out of Madison, Florida. Good morning,
tray morning, John boy, Now you thinking this morning?
Speaker 9 (27:18):
I'm doing really good today.
Speaker 8 (27:19):
Uh, first time caller.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
All right, welcome out, Trey Welder. All right, buddy, let's
see what you got. I'm gonna say, kerosene, show us kerosene.
Speaker 7 (27:34):
You know, make the inside your house too smoky? The
carpet would be clean, yeah, but yeah, you wouldn't be
able to see out the windows.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Alright, Trey, thanks for playing, buddy. Have a good day.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Alright, Dan, Tim out of Athens, Georgia. You are up, Tim, Hey,
how y'all doing good?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Man's they're looking for a winter? What you got?
Speaker 5 (27:52):
I think it was a Bellows type thing?
Speaker 1 (27:55):
A Bellows type thing? Show us Bellows? Now, do you
have any idea what he's talking about? Bellows? I think
it's a Manda Bellows my dreaming genie anytime.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
You know those things are kind of tear drop shape
that have the according in the middle and.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Use the thing you use.
Speaker 8 (28:17):
Using using the suck back.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh I see, So like we
had the Bellows, you put it down.
Speaker 9 (28:23):
The car and.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
That is the sound I have to figure out now.
I like the what you think? Tim?
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I logical?
Speaker 5 (28:32):
Well man, dude, we got Ronnie out of Johnson City, Tennessee. Ronnie,
you are up, buddy.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yes, what do you think was the first vacuum cleaners
powered by?
Speaker 12 (28:44):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (28:44):
Would say, overhead lighting?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Show us overhead lighting? You mean like the bumper.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Cars, like solar power. I'm assuming to the roofs like
one Ali, Ronnie.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Thanks for playing man, alright, you too. Brian out of
rock Hill, South Carolina. Good morning, Brian.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Are you doing doing good man? What do you think?
Speaker 9 (29:12):
I just say it was some kind of like a
hand pump, some kind of like a hand.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Pump, so it would be powered by humans. Was thinking
about no, Brian, But thanks for playing with us.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
All right, thanks, all right, man, we're still going. We
got Gary out of Richmond, Virginia. Good morning, Gary, Good
morning John boy and Benny.
Speaker 8 (29:35):
What's up man?
Speaker 1 (29:36):
You are, Bunny? You okay this morning?
Speaker 9 (29:38):
Oh man?
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I am doing fine.
Speaker 5 (29:40):
I cannot believe I got through to you guys.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Well here you are, Gary fine? Wrong answers so far?
Speaker 11 (29:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 9 (29:47):
So uh so? Gary?
Speaker 11 (29:48):
What do you think I'm thinking?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
It's jazz show us gas o'lane. Well you're right on
in here. Gary. That sounds no fake.
Speaker 8 (30:00):
Believe it.
Speaker 5 (30:01):
That's a closer with kerosene than any one. Yeah, gasoline
powered vacuum cleaner.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Unbelievable. Got a wild isn't it.
Speaker 9 (30:08):
Now?
Speaker 1 (30:08):
That'd be fun. I could see like vacuuming like that
if you could like ride it like a ride.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
In a law.
Speaker 7 (30:13):
But you can only vacuum for like thirty seconds at
a time. Then you have to go outside or you'd
pass out.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I've always liked smell gas, ever since I was pumpa gas.
I like smell of gas.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
Ah, that explains a lot.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
All right, Well Gary, you win, Buddy oh Man, that
is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Well, I'm glad you want to got through their girl
in beautiful Richmond, Virginia. Hold on, Garret Jacket gets your stuff.
Good morning, you got the Big Show on the radio.
Speaker 11 (30:40):
Hey, horses and horse sets. That's your old pel Garret busy.
I'm not working a lot over abusy Nissan or working
the fire over abusive burgers calling Gaylord Sartage two in
the morning to sing Buddy Hollo tunes. I'm listening to
my favorite fill of head injury patience tumble every morning
(31:01):
on the Big Show. Ben. When is the last time
I had hand?
Speaker 5 (31:35):
Good morning, you got the Big show on the radio.
Gifts women don't really won't y'all.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Just never learned, just never see. Any day is a
good gift day.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah whatever, there rose a week. I'm trying to help
get rows a week O'donald White.
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Woman doesn't love getting presents in general, this is true.
But if you get her the wrong gift, she insulted
or realized that you two just aren't shoppers from the
same great, big catalog that is life. If you want
your relationship to last and don't wrap any of these
items in a big bowl, she may not give you
a kiss his thanks, but rather the kiss off. Number
(32:15):
One bad gift a year's supply of bug spray for
those long backcountry camping trips you plan on taking with
her this summer.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
It sounds like a good idea, trying to keep bugs
off baby. Oh you love me after all? Huh have
you ever bought more than one can of bug spray
in your life? I got two in the truck. Okay,
one for you and one for Jackie.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
I hate to wreck of surprise since they're not rapped yet.
Bad gift of vacuum cleaner. Yes, I don't know those
things be expensive. I mean good vacuum cleaner. A mirror
installed in the ceiling of her bedroom.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
They say, is a bad I gave myself that President. No,
I don't need to be seeing all that I have.
Speaker 3 (33:01):
To stare at the ceiling.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Lingerie.
Speaker 5 (33:04):
That's five sizes too large, too large, Yeah, I think
anything too large.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
You never can win buying clothing for women.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Oh yeah, you think I'm fat.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (33:15):
If you buy it too small, they think they're fat.
If you buy it too large, they think you think.
Speaker 5 (33:22):
A frame photo of your mother, they're bads.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Never staring at me all the time. Stamps cash, they say,
cash is back. It's always a perfect Okay, Jackie, this
is putting a crible on me finding something for your birthday.
I don't have a mirror in my bedroom.
Speaker 10 (33:42):
Town.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Don't make him take that bucks breay back.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
I've already talked to Tay.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
She's got him covered.
Speaker 5 (33:50):
Framed photo copies of your butt that they're framed a dog.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
Be careful.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Birthday gifts. Women don't really want it, says oil of Olay.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
My mother begs for oil.
Speaker 11 (34:09):
I know they won't.
Speaker 13 (34:10):
Don't you want bet, I would guess just because it's
you know, it's not the retail it's not the department
store stuff.
Speaker 5 (34:18):
One of those mirrors from funhouses that makes her look obese.
A new sewing kit is a bad idea, says here.
An ankle bracelet like Martha Stewart's. Hey gift certificate for
five free rounds at the local shooting.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Range, Now, my wife, that's it.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Get a skilled that's good. A subscription to Field and Stream.
This guy has been thinking though. A beer brewing kit.
It's been regifted. I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Got you going to get me one?
Speaker 5 (34:56):
So this way you make your gonna have a mirror,
so and see it from the bed. Twenty four hour
access to tech support. Yeah, they gift certificate for light
bosunction brow sures, for breast implants, a padded bra a
copy of the South Beach Diet, a surprise dinner for
(35:19):
two at your favorite restaurant instead of hers.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
I guess I see that one.
Speaker 5 (35:23):
And finally, bad gift idea for you woman, a three
pack of Granny underwear.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Well, especially when you can get them in bonus pats
where they throw in that.
Speaker 7 (35:33):
Extra pair exactly they come in six is actually me
You can buy them one with an.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Extra, not a big lot.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
All right, So hope we help. Good morning, a big show.
(36:09):
It's on the radio.
Speaker 5 (36:12):
All right, here's our first man in the hours. Ladies
and gentlemen, lipless come on here, lipless.
Speaker 11 (36:18):
Hey, y'all want he man?
Speaker 5 (36:19):
Hey ready, Hey, yacky you midy that hi heyler, I'll
shore all with her to thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Get into good huh personation Colonel shatter a Colonel white
Whiteley woke, woke, Look, he said, all right, jealous hockey,
I got with hoy here woy. How does white Titan cry?
Hat her?
Speaker 9 (36:48):
Heck?
Speaker 7 (36:48):
Why does Mike Tyson cry after sing? I'm guessing it's
the pepper spray.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
You can't called happy.
Speaker 3 (36:59):
Happy?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Why war? He feared he might never get.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Why what do a hazards hornado and hey no horse
haveing a column?
Speaker 7 (37:10):
A Kansas tornado and a Mississippi divorced have in common?
They both involve somebody losing a trailer.
Speaker 11 (37:19):
Right.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
I had somebody outside saying it sounded like a rane.
There's somebody outside.
Speaker 9 (37:27):
It sounded like.
Speaker 7 (37:29):
Remember this is a Mississippi and they possibly have here
shof well this way yeah, yeah. Why do chicken coop have?
Who do Why do chicken coops have two door bars?
Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedan.
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Car, I had none. Show chickens cat door none, chickens
can't open door. Well, wait a minute, I want to say, yeah,
you didn't. Well, you don't argue with you? Are you
arguing with me or yourself? I don't argue with a
worse And isn't that a hopeful? Say, there's a difference.
(38:14):
What Hong on onion in a wan?
Speaker 7 (38:16):
Show the difference between an onion and a banjo. Nobody
cries when you cut up a banjo.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
You know what, Joe Lord, I had you can Hickey?
Whoa would only eat one? You can pick it both.
Speaker 7 (38:32):
Crew, Harry Honey, exactly what's the definition? And hurd on
what's the definition of an internal optimist? A banjo player
with a beeper?
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Why you get way up ahead?
Speaker 11 (38:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Somebody works at al Gore for hesitant. All can read
was right out of the Hey you know today.
Speaker 7 (39:00):
Headline wrapped right on the pages of today's Thank You
Understanding with Helen.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I don't go out here one, I say, hye, lovelas
he's gonna get on out of here. He cut up,
he said, shut up right, Hey, good morning. The big
shows on the radio.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Dippointed, miss man, I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
What come on?
Speaker 11 (39:30):
Bloody hell?
Speaker 5 (39:31):
Hello, this is Ozzie Osbourne and I hate bubbles, but
I love John Bo and Billy and the whole gang
at the big show.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
Who are we talking about?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Rocky roll?
Speaker 5 (39:53):
Mh good morning everybody. You got a big show on
(40:19):
the radio? John Jay there, Stevie ain't out here with
red the jacket. All right, hey man, this listen to
story fillers gave me. Y'all, y'all got to hear it
is from Northwest Florida Daily News, the story of a
(40:40):
Cresview couple who drove their car to Walmart, only to
have a car break down in the parking lot. The
man told his wife carry on with a shopping while
he fixed the car in the lot. Well, the rife
came back later, saw a small group of people near
the car, and on closer inspection, she saw a pair
of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Speaker 1 (40:59):
Although the man was in shorts, his.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
Lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Speaker 1 (41:07):
So say, goodness, he's under the car.
Speaker 5 (41:09):
He's wearing short legs ticking out and his privates there
go ahead, tatter love stories like this. So his lack
of underpants, okay, was I so private parts there? Unable
to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put
her hand up his shorts and tucked everything back into place. Oh,
(41:34):
she regained her face. She stepped back up, looked across
the hood and saw her husband, who was standing idly by.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
The mechanic. However, had to have three stitches sewn into
his forehead.
Speaker 6 (41:56):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Randon said, he's seen this before, and I.
Speaker 5 (41:59):
Had heard this supposially a true story FBI agent's rate
of a psychiatric hospital San Diego under investigation for medical
insurance fraud, and after hours of reviewing thousands of medical
records of dozens of agents, had worked up an appetite.
So the agent in charge called a nearby pizza parlor
with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.
(42:20):
And this is the actual telephone conversation that took place
and was recorded by the FBI because they were taking
all conversations at the hospital.
Speaker 6 (42:28):
All right, So thank I say, before you read this,
I just went to snoops, the source for finding NFL
these sort of things are true or not Snape says,
this is.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
A true story.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Okay, all right, so FBI okay, age right here. It
is FBI agent.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Hello, I'd like to order nineteen large pizzas and three
cases of soda, Pizza man, and where would you like
them delivered? We're over at the psychiatric hospital, the psychiatric hospital.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
That's right. I'm an FBI agent. You're an FBI agent.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
That's correct. Just about everybody here is. And you're at
the psychiatric hospital, that's correct. And make sure you don't
go through the front doors. We have them locked. You'll
have to go around to the back of service entrance
to deliver the pizzas. And you say, you're all FBI agents.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
How soon can you have them here?
Speaker 5 (43:16):
Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
So how are you going to pay for all this?
Speaker 5 (43:25):
We collected a pool of cash and you're all FBI agents, yes,
with guns, that's right.
Speaker 11 (43:32):
Now?
Speaker 5 (43:33):
Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sold us
to the service interests in the rear? We have the
front doors locked. Pizza Man, no way.
Speaker 3 (43:44):
Wow, And you've never heard that story?
Speaker 9 (43:46):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (43:47):
Wow, let me play you a little something right here.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Hey, this is pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Right here.
Speaker 5 (43:50):
Listen is FBI agents conducted at Charchiatric Hospital in San Diego,
those under investigations for medical and church brow So after
hours that we're viewing thousands of medical records, agents had
worked up an appetite.
Speaker 7 (44:01):
Never before he thinks, he thinks sometimes we're just giving
him a hard time about you.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Actually flat back what I'm just start calling you people?
Were you the one making the call?
Speaker 6 (44:17):
I think you're the guy who introduced Rayford with If
y'all didn't hear this the first five hundred times.
Speaker 7 (44:24):
I'm telling you, he's about two years away from being
able to hide his own Easter eggs.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
I ain't got time to listen to what I'm saying
that I'm busy. Oh bless you. Let me hear it again.
Speaker 9 (44:43):
You told so good.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
You want to hear them so good? I want to
hear it. This is pretty cool right here.
Speaker 9 (44:47):
Listen to this
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Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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