October 23, 2025 • 44 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, it National Scary Movie Day, and turns out we have a butt-load of failed horror movies that never made it to theaters - like, “Mumbles the Maniac” - “Dr Jekyll & Mr. Clyde” - “Otis the Express Elevator to Hell” and “The Voting Dead” - they’re all there for your horrifying pleasure.. - Marvin Webster is not a fan of dressing up in a costume at work - even if it is Halloween.. - We’ll get back On Track with Doug Rice - with only one playoff race left, this weekend’s race at Martinsville should be some don’t miss TV! - Doug previews the race and looks ahead to the upcoming Championship on November 2.. - Oliver logs his review on France.. - and Lipless rounds out the show with more Halloween jokes…
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Good morning. You got a big show on the radio.
More chance for you to win coming up after your
news weather sports by This is Spanjordi arts in.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
All today from Hammer Langerford, Norway.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
After around to kick the Wolverine.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great big hairring
smoothie and listening to the big show with John Boy
and Beiley. There's a bond in this.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
One I can do to do up and at them.
(01:10):
It is Thursday morning, October you, twentyeth third, and all right,
it's starting today off with a big show on the radio.
Thank you so much for doing that. I can here
appreciate yea.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Everybody happy October twenty third, seven days to October thirtieth,
and then one more got to Halloween.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I got it. Now we're out in my head. Let's
see here always National Horror Movie Day. We're gonna celebrate
horror movies here headed toward Halloween. We got a bunch
of them over the years, including our first method acting
bit Me and Billy in an actual elevator see the
(02:04):
Home of Jefferson Pilot Insurance say with a pilot fall away,
I'm going back does what it was? What was the
name back in the day. Okay, so it's National Boston
Cream Pie Day. Were making the lunch, aby I, And
there's National Mold Day. I don't know if it's on
(02:27):
your phase or in your yard, but later.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Neither Actually in the chemistry lab, well, no wonder, I
didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
That's a special number in chemistry that says here. All right, well,
chemist and chemistry students mark the occasion each year. So
if you'll y'all market it, mark it down here, Happy
Mold Day for a big show name. I still like
the ones in the yard in uh, Julia Roberts move
(03:00):
all right there, I think it's happening now. They met
Sidney Crawfords. Yeah. Oh, let's get you mixed up.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Okay, see how that happened?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Ah okay, yeah it works. We're awake. Big shows on
the radio. Good morning, Big shows on the radio. All right,
it's hunting season, y'all, hunters up, you need you some
Happy herd. We got your big old Happy Herd prize package.
Of course, they make top quality attracting some minerals and
feed for deer, bear and hogs. It ain't too late, y'all.
(03:31):
Click on the Happy Herd banner. When you go to
the Big Show dot com, if you enter coach JBB
you get tam percent off of checkout. Listen up here
to the three days in history. Maybe win you some.
It was October twenty third, nineteen thirty three. Mandit John
Dillinger took seventy five grand and a little change from
(03:52):
the Central National Bank of Greencastle, Indiana. It was his
biggest halt, one of for sixteen murders. He was killed
in Chicago nine months later. Move up to nineteen sixty four.
The US's Joe Frazier won the gold in heavyweight boxing
the Tokyo Olympics by barely out pointing Germany's Hans Huber.
(04:17):
Remember ohons and after word Fraser admitted he fought the
bout with a broken right hand.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Wow, he eat him with one hand tied.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
He didn't let him know. I'm not gonna hit you
as hard with this one, Coach, it's broken. Finally, on
this date, nineteen eighty seven, the Texas burglar sent us
to seven years in prison, complaining that seven was his
unlucky number, so the judge raised it to eight years.
Go all right, dumb crook, hold something and there's that
(04:52):
category as one eight hundred big shows. She told free line.
Come on, we'll play out birds next.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Mmmm.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Come morning.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's a big show on the radiover on it to
your Thursday, October twenty third with our feature track from
the Big Show bid Box, Lipless got more Halloween jokes.
Don't worry, he'll run out sooner or later. Mean Tom
Halloween jokes. Your keywords at the bid box at the
Big Show. Dot com and.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
Uppers, Let's play upburst.
Speaker 7 (05:47):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
Shon boy Billy to give.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
The prizes from the Big Prize Pa. Let's go contested
number one.
Speaker 7 (06:00):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Plats have them movie up and guest time you have
the best time. You have a big shots. Let's say
Hanauh Stephen from Troy, all a Bama.
Speaker 8 (06:18):
We shot.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Here you are Stephen, Good morning, buddy, morning to man awsome,
welcome in here. All right? Okay, Tyner, Okay, yes he's fine.
All right, it was neighbor. Let's get you through these
three categories. Get you that happy herd on the way
down to Troy. You ready sounds good, brother? Five seconds.
(06:46):
We need three things in a bank. Ready to go?
Uh killer, a vault camera money, Yeah, yeah, you got
it all right? Save up. Now give us three boxers
ready to go, uh Mike Tyson, Joel Fraser and Mohammad
(07:11):
Ali mahma I. I's even here we go for the win.
Three things that are unlucky ready to go? Uh Black
Cat thirteen, my ex wife and Brokamir. There might be
the conset next night. I'm be a little workshopping there.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
Statement.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Well, Saby, you hang on, Jackie'll hook you up.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Thank y'all right, good.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Thanks for noticing. All right, we're gonna jump out cut
you up on your news right after this report. Our
time capsule five Early morning rising days ull be old
Man twenty minutes.
Speaker 9 (08:27):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 10 (08:42):
Hello, ladies, look at your man. Now, look at me.
Now back to your man, now back to me. Now,
let me take a look at your man. Your man
is actually not a bad looking oh man, But sadly
he's not me. He doesn't look like me, and he
doesn't smell like me. Say, is your man using one
of those ladies scented bodies washes?
Speaker 11 (09:01):
Really? You know?
Speaker 6 (09:02):
On him?
Speaker 10 (09:02):
It kind of works. Where are you now, I'm on
a boat. Does your man use sunscreen? He should? The
sun does terrible things to the skin. Of course, your
man's skin is actually quite nice. What's in my hand?
It's an oyster and inside two tickets to that thing
you love. Why don't you call one of your girlfriends
from work and the two of you have an evening
out on me. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds.
(09:25):
Maybe you and your girlfriend could sell a few and
tick up enough cash to pay for a real girl's
weekend in can cool. Oh, don't worry about leaving your
man behind. I'll be glad to keep him company. I'm
a man who enjoys hanging out with other men. Before
you go, tell me about you and your man. What's
your situation? Are the two of you you know, serious
or is this just a casual thing? My man and
(09:45):
I have what we call an understanding. We know that
a man can enjoy the company of another man without
there being any heavy emotional stuff. It's like two guys
going to the gym. Now your man and I are
in a gym. The whole place is full of men
who use lady scented body washes. Your man fits right in.
Would your man like to grab something to eat later?
I know a great little sushi place. Now your man
(10:05):
and I are in a great little sushi place. Your
man is freshly showered, but he still has the rosy
glow of a vigorous workout. Your man doesn't really want
to call it a night this early, does he? Does
your man like to dance?
Speaker 6 (10:16):
Come on?
Speaker 10 (10:16):
I can tell he's got some moves. Now your man
and I are in the nightclub. We're on the dance floor.
Your man is shaking it like a polaroid picture. Oh
by his phone rings, it's you calling from CanCon to
see how it's going. He lets the call go to voicemail.
I wouldn't read too much into that. Now your man
and I are doing yeager shots at the bar. Your
man says you're kind of stifling him lately. He says
(10:38):
he needs some space. He thinks once you get back
from Cankon, the two of you need to have a
serious talk. He's discovered things about himself he never knew before,
And to be perfectly honest, he's not sure you have
a place in the new life. He's planning there, he
said it. Now you're crying. Your man is apologizing. He
didn't plan this, It just kind of happened. He says,
it's not you, it's him. He's packing up stuff and
(11:00):
moving out. He thinks you're a great girl and you'll
find the right guy before you know it. Your man
hates that look in your eyes. He never meant for
this to happen. But if it wasn't me, it would
have been somebody else. Your man has to be true
to who he really is. Here, I'm giving you another
handful of diamonds to cheer you up. Your man and
I will never forget you. We're riding off together into
the sunset. We're on a horse. Jean Boy and Jilly.
(11:31):
Good morning rad yell dumb right.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Good morning. That's a big shan radio. And here we go.
And that's time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 12 (12:10):
Ah fleamity flu. I'm old and I hate holly weed.
In my day, we didn't have any punkin carbon costume wearing,
devil worshiping, monster mashing, tricker treating, candy, begging, bsery.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
There was only one.
Speaker 12 (12:30):
Thing we begged for and early death to escape on
miserable lives. Trigger treat smell my feet. Here's some buckshot
in your seat.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Wow.
Speaker 12 (12:45):
Every year, the peace and quiet of falling God's Country
is destroyed by a never ending passel of rotten little
snot gobblers dressed as superheroes and serial killers and spice girls,
parents parading their life's regrets door to door, asking other
(13:07):
folks to foot the bill for their spoiled little turn Sweet,
what next?
Speaker 13 (13:14):
Where does it end?
Speaker 12 (13:15):
You want a couple of bucks for their college duition,
pitch in for their new celliphone? How about a few
green bags so they can get some new fangled video
game to rock their brain and be an electronic babysitter.
So you can drink expensive liquor and bait you a
video girlfriend while your white plays Bouncy Bouncy with the
(13:37):
pool boy. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Who the hell do I
look like? Bernie Sanders climpery yippany ding dong do look
at me? I'm a rich, yuppie butthole pipping my youngins
out for a handful of Walnettos in Reese's cups.
Speaker 13 (14:00):
I get out a second.
Speaker 12 (14:01):
Mortgage for that get up so I can win a
pissing contest with all the other loser parents in the neighborhood.
Because this is really all about me and not these
financial burdens taking up space in my cargo. It's a
glorious age of enlightenment, all hail MasterCard.
Speaker 8 (14:20):
And they like it.
Speaker 12 (14:23):
They love it. In the old days, we didn't have
rich kinfolk with deep pockets to finance our hijinks. We
spend every nickel we had just to survive. So when
hallyween come around and we had to put to use
our god given imagination, missing fungal thumb, put a cock
(14:43):
on a nose and rolled in manure and win as
a prize breeding hog. Lloyd Featherswatch wrapped his body in
an old mattress stuffing, put a light of rope hanging
on his butt, and win as a feminine hygiene product.
But me, I went all out that year. I glued
(15:04):
righte per simmons all over my body and went.
Speaker 13 (15:07):
As the herpies.
Speaker 12 (15:15):
Too soon.
Speaker 13 (15:21):
I'm still waiting for them.
Speaker 12 (15:27):
And when we went out, we didn't get snick of
bars or skinners or zaggony nuts. When we went trick
or treating, we got stuff we needed. Ruderbaggers, half eaten
chicken legs, moonshine, sometimes we yelled, trick or treated the brothel.
They didn't have no candy, but they showed us a booby.
(15:49):
One year, when we were done in our neck of
the woods, we went to the fancy neighborhood electrical lighting
indoor toilets. They even had all their own teeth, lotty
freaking DoD It was like by God Xanadu, but it
wasn't all peppermints and popcorn balls. One creepy Guma invited
(16:13):
us in his house. He had a huge doll collection.
Everywhere you look there was dolls staring at us with
those dead eyes, and they looked so real and gave
us the willies. They all had their little arms untied
behind their backs and gags.
Speaker 13 (16:28):
In their mouths.
Speaker 12 (16:29):
But we were in red morons, too stupid to see
the morning signs, so we didn't hesitate. When he offered
us some punch out of a real glass bowl. We
woke up a couple days later, bound and gagged and
dressed in little dog clothes, and we stayed there for
fifty years. And because he never changed those doll clothes,
(16:50):
our bodies didn't grow right, except our heads. They blowed
up like Macy's parade blues trap for eternity, rest his
little lord faunt Leroy with a giant noggin. And when
we died, we went straight to hell. And the weight
of our giant heads caused us to roll downhill into
a big leg of fire. But at least it burnt
(17:12):
the doll clothes off. Buck naked with little torsos and
long arms and legs, with giant heads like the alien
at the end of Close Encounters, hid the late dude
Tito Burrito. Look at me, I'm a human bubblehead in
our psycho's doll collection. I should have just stayed in
the brothel. But I'm an uneducated mouth breather living my
(17:33):
best life in a size one panalon. Behold the Age
of Enlightenment, yippie, and we liked it. We loved it.
Oh flinky Deek, I hate Hollyfeeed.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Good morning. You got a big show on al radio.
More chance for you to win coming up after your news.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Wether and sports.
Speaker 14 (17:58):
Ah, you gonna have all of them goody two shoes
on the radio talking about their damn teeth and having babies.
They're nothing sexy as than a hot young man talking
trash on the radio. I like all them opinionated time men,
Rock Limball, Sean Hannity, Neil Board, They're snow on the roof.
(18:25):
There's a fire in the funny. It's getting hot in here.
I take off all my clothes. I feel so vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Good morning, it's a big se on the radio. All right,
is horror movie Day. Don't you gonna be celebrating. Let's
start from the bottom of the barrel.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Randy's character Muffles Lady.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
Tonight on cable TV a Friday the Thirteenth Movie special.
A movie so grotesque that we can't even tell you
what it's about, but we can tell you there's an
escaped lunatic from the insane asylum.
Speaker 9 (19:43):
In it.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
He has a knife, he wears a mask, a mask
he kills a lot of teenagers. Well, okay, they don't
look like teenagers, but really they are. Play along. Okay, okay.
We also can't tell.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
You how if you had a gun you would be
safe from this real madman boom, because he can't be killed.
It's a movie so realistically bloody that nine out of
ten doctors with heart patients recommend you not see it.
Bore so incredibly hideous that if you were to see it,
you probably wouldn't go to sleep while it was Oh
we repults of climax scenes will leave such an impression
(20:21):
on your memory that every time you use a knife
to slice.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
An onion, you'll cry.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
A movie so filled with grotesqueness, unsightly disfigurations, and horrifying
scenes of real looking.
Speaker 13 (20:32):
Violence that we may not even show it.
Speaker 7 (20:36):
Tonight on cable TV.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Good Morning, Big Hills on the radio. Hold on for
one of our faves. Nothing mumbles sitting right up there.
Hang off for Clyde starring here on horror movie Dave Hers.
Let me tell you what you can win if you
can score on John Boy Jeopardy in minutes. Big Ol'
LS Tractor prize pack include some cool swag of my
hat stainless steel insulated thunder key chain. You go to
(21:04):
LS Tractor USA dot com you can find your local
dealer Len why customers start blue and stay blue? Hang on,
Play for it ten minutes.
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Remco Embassy Pictures brings you Robert Lewis Stevenson's classic Tale
of Terror.
Speaker 13 (21:24):
My am, I well, I'll show you.
Speaker 15 (21:28):
I'll show you all This formula I've created will unleash
the beast and even the most timid man. And now
I'll crew it by testing it on myself.
Speaker 8 (21:45):
Good heavens, what happening to me?
Speaker 7 (22:02):
Say here, Jackyl? What's all this cacklewalling in here?
Speaker 16 (22:06):
Heah, you're not Doctor Jackyll, a brilliant man of science,
becomes a victim of his own twisted experiment on.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Me enough, inspector came from Scotland.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yard.
Speaker 7 (22:20):
Have you seen a tall bloke with a horse face
and two humps on his back?
Speaker 6 (22:23):
Kind of spits when he talks?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
Off with him?
Speaker 7 (22:28):
He leads a tormented double life. By day, a mild
mannered neighborhood doctor.
Speaker 13 (22:34):
Take two of these and call me in the morning.
Speaker 7 (22:36):
By night, a beast stalking the foggy streets of London
by moonlight.
Speaker 12 (22:41):
Hadow, as I've heard alabachiv on the other gals, you're
mistic Clyde, ain't jack you?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (22:49):
I love your hopski, Doctor Jekyll, and mister Clyde. It's
time to unleash the beast.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Oh well, the known back when I was just a
little kid in Graham, North Carolina, listening to Clyde on
Ray Stephens, Santa Claus's coming to town. I'll be still
having fun right before I retire fifty years later. Yea,
(23:18):
actually sixty five years later.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Okay, yeah, we're still waiting on that whole hackerage to kill.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Well, let's just get on with our job then, then
play John boyd Jeopardy for the LS Tractor Prize pack.
Need to review yesterday's question. We found out before nineteen
oh four this beverage was always served lukewarm or hot.
But in Saint Louis Fair, the Worldfair in Saint Louis,
a young Terry Hansen said, hey, let's save it cold,
(23:51):
and of course it was nice tea. All right, Today's
John Boy Jeopardy. Forty one percent of Americans they have
considered physically attacking one of these while at work, and
seven percent say they have actually done it. What is
Bob in accounting? He does get on your nerves? Where's
(24:14):
my check? What y'all got?
Speaker 9 (24:16):
One?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Eight hundred? Big Show you told? Free line? We play
John Boy jumpindad next Good Thursday Morning, there's a big
(24:48):
show on the radio. In our feature track for the
Big Show, Big Box, lett listen more Halloween jokes, Hey words,
Halloween jokes hit the Big Box at the Big Show
dot Com. Now let's play Yes live across America. It's
John boy Jeopany.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
And now your host.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Ironically, the only thing he's ever really considered physically attacking
at work is me. He's John Boy.
Speaker 9 (25:19):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Still got time now, Hey Scott out of Elizabethon, Tennessee.
Good morning, Scott. Oh were you there, buddy? I'm there
there you are? Hey Scott, Hey, Bonny welcome. All right,
let me mess it up. You've got first shot at
John boyd Jeopardy this morning. So forty one percent of
(25:42):
Americans they have considered physically attacking one of these while
at work, and seven percent say they have actually done it.
What's your thinking, Scott, I'm gonna go with.
Speaker 8 (25:56):
Probably not my first answer, but I'll go with computer maybe.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
All right, well let's see, is it maybe a computer?
And sure I hear they can be very annoying. I
would have said the copier copiers more.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I attacked a copier at work one time. Remember I
push it. I kept calling the man to come fix it,
and they just wouldn't send anybody. I pushed it out
in the parking lot.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
It was weird. You lost that time.
Speaker 8 (26:27):
I was the boss.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Well, good work on you in Scott. You got the
big old prize pack. Head over to Elizabeth, Congratulations.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Can I give a shout out, yes, sir, you go ahead.
I about to give a shout out to my beautiful
walk Bridget and my kids, Isaac, Jacob, Brooklyn and Jackson.
I love you guys very much. Well, there you go, Scott,
proud of you and yours. I can feel it ain't
going that buddy. All right, we're gonna go out your
news this Horror Movie Day. We already heard Mumbles Maniac.
(27:05):
Tomedy guy. We're right on the other side, another early
horror horror on the big show. Good morning, it's a
(27:48):
big show on the radio on National Horror Movie Day.
You know, rady about Mumbles Maniac. While I go here
and I was turning it on me and Billy here
a method acting. We were gone. The elevator said, otis
you know the elevator magazine? Hmm, how can we make
something funny other? It was right before Halloween. Oh the elevator.
(28:10):
It won't shop going down, It just goes down further.
Speaker 17 (28:14):
I don't spoil it.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Now, I haven't seen it.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Then Billy with a tape recorder in the Elevator method,
acting genius.
Speaker 18 (28:23):
Singing Francis Ford Owensby presents a terrifying new motion picture
based on yet another book by Stephen King.
Speaker 15 (28:32):
Ay, hold that elevator for me, Come on.
Speaker 7 (28:34):
In, chuck the office you said it.
Speaker 13 (28:37):
Hey, there's Nelson.
Speaker 7 (28:38):
Don't let the door close.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Let's take your hand in there.
Speaker 19 (28:40):
So okay, a new technological terror from the creator of
Christine Ogus Express Elevator from Hell?
Speaker 6 (28:50):
Is it my imagination?
Speaker 7 (28:51):
Or we've been going down for a long time. Ought
to be in the lobby by now? Is it getting
hot in near to you?
Speaker 20 (28:57):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 6 (28:58):
It's what the flames otis.
Speaker 18 (29:02):
Express Elevator from Hell from Repco Embassy making our.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Good ties in the morning. That's a big show on
the radio, rolling through your here in the October twentieth
and naw, I spend a few minutes with Marvin Webster.
Speaker 6 (29:45):
Yo, what's up? How are you all doing? Hey?
Speaker 10 (29:47):
Man, I got an email at work the other day.
We're han't costume day on Halloween again. Everybody's supposed to
come to work dressed up in a costume. May I
just say please? I'm a grown ass, grown ass man,
ain't got no business dressing up for Halloween. Okay, that's
for kids, of course. I got kind of a mixed
record when it comes to Halloween costumes over the years.
(30:09):
You know, back in the day, Halloween was easy. Mama,
take you to the kmart. You get one of them
ready made costumes in a box. You know, some cheap
ass Chinese looking jumpsuit thing with a string in the
back to tie around your neck and a mask with a.
Speaker 6 (30:23):
Rubber band to hold it on your head. You remember that.
Speaker 10 (30:25):
So one year, Mama bought me a Superman costume. It
had the suit, had a little cape, and it had
a Superman mask. Didn't look a whole lot like Superman though,
looked more like one of the guys on the Pep
Boys sign. End of the night, these two mean dudes
from down the block rolled up on me, whooped my
ass and took all my candy with something. So next year,
(30:49):
Mama bought me the six million dollar Man suit that
was my favorite TV show. I think it had the
same mask as the Superman costume, but his hair was
brown instead of blue. Anyway, end of the night, sure enough,
seen two dudes from last year whooped my ass and
took all my candy with Well. The next day, my
(31:09):
uncle Cedric pulled me to the side and said, boy,
let me tell you something. If you ever want to
get in with some candy in this neighborhood, you need
to quit going out for Halloween in a white boy many,
which I thought was a good point. So next year
I made my own costume, you know, something a little
more relevant to the black experience. I went as Jimmy
and JJ Walker from Good Time. I already had the hat.
(31:32):
I just threw dining on Mike. Then after the trick
or treat party.
Speaker 6 (31:35):
And I was get to go out. But after that
I kind of aged out of Halloween for a while.
Speaker 10 (31:40):
Then I got a job and I started dating this
smoking hot little girl at the place I worked at.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
She was from a real big family.
Speaker 10 (31:48):
Day before Halloween, she goes, get your costume, red at baby,
you and me's taking all the little nieces and nephews
out for trick or treat tomorrow night.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
See that.
Speaker 10 (31:57):
I ought to tell you how hot this girl was
taking a bunch of little kids out for trigger Street
and they ain't even mine. So I said, well, okay,
I'll go, but I ain't really got no costume. She said, Oh,
I don't worry about it. Come on over to Mama's house.
We'll make you up one from scratch. Well, this was
when Purple Rain had just come out, so Prince was
pretty hot back then. And she went in the closet
(32:19):
and pulled out this purple velvet jacket that her mama
used to wear the church on Sunday, and then a
little white blouse with a little ruffle thing on the neck.
Then she put some Jerry curle in my hair. Next
thing you know, I was Prince from Papa Rain. Okay,
I was more like Dave Chappelle, Prince from the Charlie
Murphy Basketball.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
You know, a guy do what he gotta do.
Speaker 10 (32:42):
I knew it was bad when the girl broke up
with me the day after Halloween and didn't even ask
me for the clothes.
Speaker 6 (32:49):
So about that time, my mama started trying to get
me to go back to church. As mama will do.
She brought me the shop looking jet black two piece suit.
Speaker 10 (32:58):
It was fine, So for costume day at work, I
started wearing a black suit with one of mama's church wigs.
I went as Samuel Jackson from Pulp Fiction. I had
a little trouble with that one too. I walked in
the door, I said, you know, the path of the
righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities
of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. All
(33:22):
the white dudes in the office said what I said, what?
Speaker 8 (33:25):
What?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Ain't no country I ever heard of?
Speaker 10 (33:27):
Say what again? I dare you, I double dare you?
Say what one more time? Then they all went, oh, yeah,
men in black.
Speaker 6 (33:35):
I got it.
Speaker 10 (33:37):
Then a couple of years ago, Prince died, and for
some reason, I guess I was going down memory lane.
I tried to do the purple rain thing for Halloween again,
so I dressed up, went into work in the purple
jacket and the wig.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
One of the white dudes goes, hey, I know you,
Rick James, bitch what you said?
Speaker 10 (33:56):
And that's when I quit dressing up for costume day altogether.
Now I just go to work in the street clothes,
and when somebody rolls up and says who you supposed
to be?
Speaker 6 (34:04):
I just go wasn't your wallet? Y'all? Think about it?
I'm nut about.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Good morning, The Big Show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 17 (34:16):
When I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit.
And I like listening to John Boy and Billy and
that they're big show. I like the way they talk.
They're a funny ha ha, not funny queers, that's what
they say. Anyhow, I figured out why John Boy has
a hard time getting started in the morning. Ain't gotten
(34:37):
the gaye.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Good morning? It's a mix Shaw on the radio National
horror movie. They were celebrating. Oh and coming up in November.
It's an election this year.
Speaker 11 (35:26):
The war doesn't been on hallow.
Speaker 13 (35:30):
Well, looks like he's about time to close the pulse.
Speaker 12 (35:32):
Yere.
Speaker 7 (35:33):
The people have spoken.
Speaker 6 (35:34):
It's been in November.
Speaker 10 (35:34):
They'll remember, all right.
Speaker 6 (35:36):
That's a fact.
Speaker 13 (35:36):
Nothing left to do now but count the votes.
Speaker 6 (35:40):
Wait a minute, listen hearn it?
Speaker 9 (35:42):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Holy crap, Zamy, What do they want?
Speaker 11 (35:54):
More bone chilling than the living dead, more blood curdling
than the walking dead. Nothing can be as terrifying as
the voting dead.
Speaker 18 (36:07):
It seems to have started in Chicago, but now it's
spread to.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
All over the country.
Speaker 17 (36:11):
Information not your snakes.
Speaker 10 (36:13):
Hard as it is to believe than are rising from
the grave and heading to the polls.
Speaker 9 (36:19):
We've often heard stories about the names of the dead
appearing on the voter rolls.
Speaker 7 (36:24):
But now it's happening.
Speaker 12 (36:25):
Because Chris, it appears the Republicans lead in this landslide
election is quickly disappearing.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
The zombies are voting Democrat.
Speaker 7 (36:31):
I repeat, the zombies are voting Democrat.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
Voting Democrat.
Speaker 11 (36:36):
Just when you thought your world couldn't get any more frightening,
Lobco Embassy Pictures presents an all new terror, ripped from
today's headlines, the voting dead.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Dog.
Speaker 6 (36:52):
Do you understand what's going on? In simple times?
Speaker 12 (36:55):
Lieutenants, the zombies and what you would call on automatic
pilots operating on instinct alone.
Speaker 7 (37:00):
Well, yeah, but why on earth will they vote Democrat?
Speaker 13 (37:03):
I think that's a parent. Yes, cerebral synapsis have stopped firing.
Speaker 12 (37:06):
They are operating solely from the ideological cortex of the
medulla oblongata.
Speaker 6 (37:11):
Speak English, doc. We ain't scientists.
Speaker 7 (37:14):
Why are they voting Democrat? To put it dicinctly, their
brains have ceased to function.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
Dead and and you can't stop them.
Speaker 12 (37:27):
Oo, Tony, look out, that zombie is coming right for you.
Speaker 7 (37:30):
That's no zombie is rhyma manual.
Speaker 13 (37:33):
How do you tell the.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
Difference it's not a bunch lard, it's fo.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. Coming up. We
played beat the Blonde for Big Old Bulls not Cleaning.
Prize back one hundred and twenty dollars of it. Go
to Big show dot com. Click on that bull snot Bound.
Get all the info need, hang on win it in minutes.
Let's find out who's winning right here. Our winner, mister
Doug Rice is joining us as he does every Thursday
(38:09):
morning to talk about our NASCAR sport. Good morning, Doug, Well,
what a.
Speaker 13 (38:15):
Pleasure to be here, Johnny.
Speaker 20 (38:17):
Just two races left to go, two spots opening the
final playoff race out in Phoenix, and right now it's
good to be Joe Gibbs.
Speaker 13 (38:25):
He has two of those four spots locked up.
Speaker 20 (38:27):
Denny Hamlin did it by winning out at Las Vegas,
and then this past weekend Chase Briscoe down at Talladega.
So two Joe Gibbs toyotas in and that is half
of the final playoff feel locked in place.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
I both. That is Chase Briscoe's third win this year.
You know, we always talk about it is whoever gets
hot right here during these playoffs is what is all
about Doug and.
Speaker 20 (38:54):
We've talked a lot about that, and the last few
years it's been Team Pinsk. Right now, they are not
so hot. Joey Logano is thirty eight points below the
cut line. Ryan Blaney his teammate, minus forty seven. That's
not totally insurmountable, but they no longer are in charge
of their destiny. They would need other people to have
(39:16):
really bad days to fall back, and.
Speaker 13 (39:18):
Then they would probably have to come on now.
Speaker 20 (39:20):
If either one of them win at Martinsville, they would
automatically get in.
Speaker 13 (39:24):
But the road's pretty tough right now for the defenning champion.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
And I was teasing our listeners when we was talking
about I was going to talk to you today, Yes
and day, I said, the Chase one. We'll find out
which one, but dog on it. The Chase Briscoe is
a winner and the most popular driver. Chase Elliott is
kind of up against a wall.
Speaker 13 (39:42):
Yeah he is.
Speaker 20 (39:43):
He finished fortieth and there were only forty cars in
the race, So if you'd like to say, that's not
too good. So he finished fortieth on the day. He
is absolutely in a must win situation. The only way
Chase Elliott goes to Phoenix and Races for the championship
is to win at Martinsville.
Speaker 13 (40:01):
It's as simple as that.
Speaker 20 (40:02):
There are other wild combos for Blaney and Logano and
William Byron who are all below the cut line to
get in, but they need help.
Speaker 13 (40:11):
They need the people in front of.
Speaker 20 (40:12):
Them to have a really bad day, and they've got
to have an exceptional day.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
That's so what happened Doug did he Chase Elliott finishing last.
I didn't get the seat in.
Speaker 20 (40:22):
He got caught up in a crash that he had
nothing to do with, but that happens at Talladega and
messed up his car. I think it was on lap
fifty one early on in the race, and he was
the most disabled car in the crash. So he is
credited with last place. So no place for Chase Elliot
to go. And now he has won. He has won
(40:43):
a race at Martinsville, so he does know how to
get it done there, and you know he might have
a shot. SODA's Blainey and Logano they've won there before too,
So we'll see how this plays out the way I'm
looking at it right now, I think that the four
drivers above the cut line, it's easy to say Christopher
Bell at plus thirty seven, also at Joe Gibbs Toyota,
(41:04):
and Kyle Larson Hendrick Chevrolet at plus thirty six.
Speaker 13 (41:08):
Odds are that they make it.
Speaker 20 (41:10):
Unless they go up there and just have a disastrous
day or somebody like Logano or Blaney wins, then I
feel like they're going to get in. It will be
one of the eight drivers above the cutoff line that wins.
Because there's a strange thing that happens in these playoffs.
The other drivers don't They don't want to be the
(41:31):
guy that causes somebody to not get into the playoffs, right,
And you'll see this if they don't do something to
themselves halfway through the race, that eight playoff drivers will
have eight of the top ten positions. It just works
that way, and I think part of it's a respect
from the other drivers that don't want to be the
driver that knocks somebody out of the playoffs.
Speaker 6 (41:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
So with Vegas, Denny Hamlin, Tyladega, Chase Briscoe, We've got
Martin phil this weekend, so we laid that out about
who needs to win and then Phoenix for the championship.
So it'll only be four drivers running for the championship.
Speaker 20 (42:10):
When we get to Phoenix, four drivers and whoever finishes
the best, they don't have to win, They just have
to beat the other three drivers that are running for
the title. A couple of years ago, when Blainey won it,
he didn't win the race. Bross Testain went out and
won the race and Blainey finished second, but that was
good enough to win the championship.
Speaker 13 (42:29):
So that's all you've got to do. I feel like,
and we've talked about this.
Speaker 20 (42:34):
Before, Johnny, that this will be the last year we
come down to the last race winner take off. I
just think there's gonna be a change. There's been too
much chatter about changing the way the championship is decided
and how the points are going to be divvied out.
I think where there's that much smoke, there is definitely
something that's going to be done to change the way
(42:54):
we crown the champion. But that'll be next year. This year,
four drivers, two of them we know will be from
Joe Gibbs. Good chance Christopher Bell will make up a
third one from that team.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
All right, then, so look at Martinville the paper clip.
How are you approaching this raise? Doug who you got.
Speaker 20 (43:12):
Well, you know, Denny Hamlin's good there, but I don't
know that he's got I don't know he has anything
to gain by trying to win, unless he's just so good.
Ryan Blaney's worth watching. He's won there twice in recent memory.
He's actually won this fall race the last two years.
So even though he's well behind the cut line, if
(43:34):
they go up there with a really quick car, he
could win and get in. So Blainey right now is
kind of my sleeper favorite. And you know, I never
count out Kyle Larson, and Larson needs a good day,
he does not need. They don't need to go up there.
Speaker 13 (43:50):
And have a disaster day.
Speaker 20 (43:51):
I have a feeling that these teams that are this
close will play it kind of safe and just count
on the other teams not having a great day and
coming on to win it.
Speaker 13 (44:00):
It's it's it's a little tricky.
Speaker 17 (44:02):
It is.
Speaker 20 (44:02):
It is a little tricky, but I'm just gonna go
right now. I think Belle and Larson grab those last
two spots.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
All right, Buddy, I think you might be on the
something there. And I'm glad you pointed out about do
you know the Hamling and the and the drivers who
don't want to be the guy to take somebody out
of the playoff.
Speaker 13 (44:21):
You no, don'g.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
That's it, man, You that in mind, all I dog
you the man. Enjoy your weekend. We'll meet here next
week again, all right, take care, thanks about Thank you
so much as I man Doug Reich and can follow
him on x at a rice Man sixty one. Right now,
let's play be the Blonde one eight hundred big show.
You told free line you're the contestant, and play next
Good morning. You got a big show on the radio.
More chance for you to win coming up after your
news weather sports by This is Spanjordi arts in.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
All today from Hammer Langerford, Norway.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
After around to kick the Wolverine.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great big hairring
smoothie and listening to the big show with John Boy
and Beiley. There's a bond in this.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
One I can do to do up and at them.
(01:10):
It is Thursday morning, October you, twentyeth third, and all right,
it's starting today off with a big show on the radio.
Thank you so much for doing that. I can here
appreciate yea.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Everybody happy October twenty third, seven days to October thirtieth,
and then one more got to Halloween.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
I got it. Now we're out in my head. Let's
see here always National Horror Movie Day. We're gonna celebrate
horror movies here headed toward Halloween. We got a bunch
of them over the years, including our first method acting
bit Me and Billy in an actual elevator see the
(02:04):
Home of Jefferson Pilot Insurance say with a pilot fall away,
I'm going back does what it was? What was the
name back in the day. Okay, so it's National Boston
Cream Pie Day. Were making the lunch, aby I, And
there's National Mold Day. I don't know if it's on
(02:27):
your phase or in your yard, but later.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Neither Actually in the chemistry lab, well, no wonder, I
didn't know what it was.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
That's a special number in chemistry that says here. All right, well,
chemist and chemistry students mark the occasion each year. So
if you'll y'all market it, mark it down here, Happy
Mold Day for a big show name. I still like
the ones in the yard in uh, Julia Roberts move
(03:00):
all right there, I think it's happening now. They met
Sidney Crawfords. Yeah. Oh, let's get you mixed up.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Okay, see how that happened?
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Ah okay, yeah it works. We're awake. Big shows on
the radio. Good morning, Big shows on the radio. All right,
it's hunting season, y'all, hunters up, you need you some
Happy herd. We got your big old Happy Herd prize package.
Of course, they make top quality attracting some minerals and
feed for deer, bear and hogs. It ain't too late, y'all.
(03:31):
Click on the Happy Herd banner. When you go to
the Big Show dot com, if you enter coach JBB
you get tam percent off of checkout. Listen up here
to the three days in history. Maybe win you some.
It was October twenty third, nineteen thirty three. Mandit John
Dillinger took seventy five grand and a little change from
(03:52):
the Central National Bank of Greencastle, Indiana. It was his
biggest halt, one of for sixteen murders. He was killed
in Chicago nine months later. Move up to nineteen sixty four.
The US's Joe Frazier won the gold in heavyweight boxing
the Tokyo Olympics by barely out pointing Germany's Hans Huber.
(04:17):
Remember ohons and after word Fraser admitted he fought the
bout with a broken right hand.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Wow, he eat him with one hand tied.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
He didn't let him know. I'm not gonna hit you
as hard with this one, Coach, it's broken. Finally, on
this date, nineteen eighty seven, the Texas burglar sent us
to seven years in prison, complaining that seven was his
unlucky number, so the judge raised it to eight years.
Go all right, dumb crook, hold something and there's that
(04:52):
category as one eight hundred big shows. She told free line.
Come on, we'll play out birds next.
Speaker 5 (05:00):
Mmmm.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Come morning.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's a big show on the radiover on it to
your Thursday, October twenty third with our feature track from
the Big Show bid Box, Lipless got more Halloween jokes.
Don't worry, he'll run out sooner or later. Mean Tom
Halloween jokes. Your keywords at the bid box at the
Big Show. Dot com and.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
Uppers, Let's play upburst.
Speaker 7 (05:47):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 6 (05:50):
Shon boy Billy to give.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
The prizes from the Big Prize Pa. Let's go contested
number one.
Speaker 7 (06:00):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Plats have them movie up and guest time you have
the best time. You have a big shots. Let's say
Hanauh Stephen from Troy, all a Bama.
Speaker 8 (06:18):
We shot.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Here you are Stephen, Good morning, buddy, morning to man awsome,
welcome in here. All right? Okay, Tyner, Okay, yes he's fine.
All right, it was neighbor. Let's get you through these
three categories. Get you that happy herd on the way
down to Troy. You ready sounds good, brother? Five seconds.
(06:46):
We need three things in a bank. Ready to go?
Uh killer, a vault camera money, Yeah, yeah, you got
it all right? Save up. Now give us three boxers
ready to go, uh Mike Tyson, Joel Fraser and Mohammad
(07:11):
Ali mahma I. I's even here we go for the win.
Three things that are unlucky ready to go? Uh Black
Cat thirteen, my ex wife and Brokamir. There might be
the conset next night. I'm be a little workshopping there.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
Statement.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Well, Saby, you hang on, Jackie'll hook you up.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Thank y'all right, good.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Thanks for noticing. All right, we're gonna jump out cut
you up on your news right after this report. Our
time capsule five Early morning rising days ull be old
Man twenty minutes.
Speaker 9 (08:27):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 10 (08:42):
Hello, ladies, look at your man. Now, look at me.
Now back to your man, now back to me. Now,
let me take a look at your man. Your man
is actually not a bad looking oh man, But sadly
he's not me. He doesn't look like me, and he
doesn't smell like me. Say, is your man using one
of those ladies scented bodies washes?
Speaker 11 (09:01):
Really? You know?
Speaker 6 (09:02):
On him?
Speaker 10 (09:02):
It kind of works. Where are you now, I'm on
a boat. Does your man use sunscreen? He should? The
sun does terrible things to the skin. Of course, your
man's skin is actually quite nice. What's in my hand?
It's an oyster and inside two tickets to that thing
you love. Why don't you call one of your girlfriends
from work and the two of you have an evening
out on me. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds.
(09:25):
Maybe you and your girlfriend could sell a few and
tick up enough cash to pay for a real girl's
weekend in can cool. Oh, don't worry about leaving your
man behind. I'll be glad to keep him company. I'm
a man who enjoys hanging out with other men. Before
you go, tell me about you and your man. What's
your situation? Are the two of you you know, serious
or is this just a casual thing? My man and
(09:45):
I have what we call an understanding. We know that
a man can enjoy the company of another man without
there being any heavy emotional stuff. It's like two guys
going to the gym. Now your man and I are
in a gym. The whole place is full of men
who use lady scented body washes. Your man fits right in.
Would your man like to grab something to eat later?
I know a great little sushi place. Now your man
(10:05):
and I are in a great little sushi place. Your
man is freshly showered, but he still has the rosy
glow of a vigorous workout. Your man doesn't really want
to call it a night this early, does he? Does
your man like to dance?
Speaker 6 (10:16):
Come on?
Speaker 10 (10:16):
I can tell he's got some moves. Now your man
and I are in the nightclub. We're on the dance floor.
Your man is shaking it like a polaroid picture. Oh
by his phone rings, it's you calling from CanCon to
see how it's going. He lets the call go to voicemail.
I wouldn't read too much into that. Now your man
and I are doing yeager shots at the bar. Your
man says you're kind of stifling him lately. He says
(10:38):
he needs some space. He thinks once you get back
from Cankon, the two of you need to have a
serious talk. He's discovered things about himself he never knew before,
And to be perfectly honest, he's not sure you have
a place in the new life. He's planning there, he
said it. Now you're crying. Your man is apologizing. He
didn't plan this, It just kind of happened. He says,
it's not you, it's him. He's packing up stuff and
(11:00):
moving out. He thinks you're a great girl and you'll
find the right guy before you know it. Your man
hates that look in your eyes. He never meant for
this to happen. But if it wasn't me, it would
have been somebody else. Your man has to be true
to who he really is. Here, I'm giving you another
handful of diamonds to cheer you up. Your man and
I will never forget you. We're riding off together into
the sunset. We're on a horse. Jean Boy and Jilly.
(11:31):
Good morning rad yell dumb right.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Good morning. That's a big shan radio. And here we go.
And that's time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 12 (12:10):
Ah fleamity flu. I'm old and I hate holly weed.
In my day, we didn't have any punkin carbon costume wearing,
devil worshiping, monster mashing, tricker treating, candy, begging, bsery.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
There was only one.
Speaker 12 (12:30):
Thing we begged for and early death to escape on
miserable lives. Trigger treat smell my feet. Here's some buckshot
in your seat.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Wow.
Speaker 12 (12:45):
Every year, the peace and quiet of falling God's Country
is destroyed by a never ending passel of rotten little
snot gobblers dressed as superheroes and serial killers and spice girls,
parents parading their life's regrets door to door, asking other
(13:07):
folks to foot the bill for their spoiled little turn Sweet,
what next?
Speaker 13 (13:14):
Where does it end?
Speaker 12 (13:15):
You want a couple of bucks for their college duition,
pitch in for their new celliphone? How about a few
green bags so they can get some new fangled video
game to rock their brain and be an electronic babysitter.
So you can drink expensive liquor and bait you a
video girlfriend while your white plays Bouncy Bouncy with the
(13:37):
pool boy. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Who the hell do I
look like? Bernie Sanders climpery yippany ding dong do look
at me? I'm a rich, yuppie butthole pipping my youngins
out for a handful of Walnettos in Reese's cups.
Speaker 13 (14:00):
I get out a second.
Speaker 12 (14:01):
Mortgage for that get up so I can win a
pissing contest with all the other loser parents in the neighborhood.
Because this is really all about me and not these
financial burdens taking up space in my cargo. It's a
glorious age of enlightenment, all hail MasterCard.
Speaker 8 (14:20):
And they like it.
Speaker 12 (14:23):
They love it. In the old days, we didn't have
rich kinfolk with deep pockets to finance our hijinks. We
spend every nickel we had just to survive. So when
hallyween come around and we had to put to use
our god given imagination, missing fungal thumb, put a cock
(14:43):
on a nose and rolled in manure and win as
a prize breeding hog. Lloyd Featherswatch wrapped his body in
an old mattress stuffing, put a light of rope hanging
on his butt, and win as a feminine hygiene product.
But me, I went all out that year. I glued
(15:04):
righte per simmons all over my body and went.
Speaker 13 (15:07):
As the herpies.
Speaker 12 (15:15):
Too soon.
Speaker 13 (15:21):
I'm still waiting for them.
Speaker 12 (15:27):
And when we went out, we didn't get snick of
bars or skinners or zaggony nuts. When we went trick
or treating, we got stuff we needed. Ruderbaggers, half eaten
chicken legs, moonshine, sometimes we yelled, trick or treated the brothel.
They didn't have no candy, but they showed us a booby.
(15:49):
One year, when we were done in our neck of
the woods, we went to the fancy neighborhood electrical lighting
indoor toilets. They even had all their own teeth, lotty
freaking DoD It was like by God Xanadu, but it
wasn't all peppermints and popcorn balls. One creepy Guma invited
(16:13):
us in his house. He had a huge doll collection.
Everywhere you look there was dolls staring at us with
those dead eyes, and they looked so real and gave
us the willies. They all had their little arms untied
behind their backs and gags.
Speaker 13 (16:28):
In their mouths.
Speaker 12 (16:29):
But we were in red morons, too stupid to see
the morning signs, so we didn't hesitate. When he offered
us some punch out of a real glass bowl. We
woke up a couple days later, bound and gagged and
dressed in little dog clothes, and we stayed there for
fifty years. And because he never changed those doll clothes,
(16:50):
our bodies didn't grow right, except our heads. They blowed
up like Macy's parade blues trap for eternity, rest his
little lord faunt Leroy with a giant noggin. And when
we died, we went straight to hell. And the weight
of our giant heads caused us to roll downhill into
a big leg of fire. But at least it burnt
(17:12):
the doll clothes off. Buck naked with little torsos and
long arms and legs, with giant heads like the alien
at the end of Close Encounters, hid the late dude
Tito Burrito. Look at me, I'm a human bubblehead in
our psycho's doll collection. I should have just stayed in
the brothel. But I'm an uneducated mouth breather living my
(17:33):
best life in a size one panalon. Behold the Age
of Enlightenment, yippie, and we liked it. We loved it.
Oh flinky Deek, I hate Hollyfeeed.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Good morning. You got a big show on al radio.
More chance for you to win coming up after your news.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
Wether and sports.
Speaker 14 (17:58):
Ah, you gonna have all of them goody two shoes
on the radio talking about their damn teeth and having babies.
They're nothing sexy as than a hot young man talking
trash on the radio. I like all them opinionated time men,
Rock Limball, Sean Hannity, Neil Board, They're snow on the roof.
(18:25):
There's a fire in the funny. It's getting hot in here.
I take off all my clothes. I feel so vulnerable.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Good morning, it's a big se on the radio. All right,
is horror movie Day. Don't you gonna be celebrating. Let's
start from the bottom of the barrel.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Randy's character Muffles Lady.
Speaker 5 (19:31):
Tonight on cable TV a Friday the Thirteenth Movie special.
A movie so grotesque that we can't even tell you
what it's about, but we can tell you there's an
escaped lunatic from the insane asylum.
Speaker 9 (19:43):
In it.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
He has a knife, he wears a mask, a mask
he kills a lot of teenagers. Well, okay, they don't
look like teenagers, but really they are. Play along. Okay, okay.
We also can't tell.
Speaker 5 (19:58):
You how if you had a gun you would be
safe from this real madman boom, because he can't be killed.
It's a movie so realistically bloody that nine out of
ten doctors with heart patients recommend you not see it.
Bore so incredibly hideous that if you were to see it,
you probably wouldn't go to sleep while it was Oh
we repults of climax scenes will leave such an impression
(20:21):
on your memory that every time you use a knife
to slice.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
An onion, you'll cry.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
A movie so filled with grotesqueness, unsightly disfigurations, and horrifying
scenes of real looking.
Speaker 13 (20:32):
Violence that we may not even show it.
Speaker 7 (20:36):
Tonight on cable TV.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Good Morning, Big Hills on the radio. Hold on for
one of our faves. Nothing mumbles sitting right up there.
Hang off for Clyde starring here on horror movie Dave Hers.
Let me tell you what you can win if you
can score on John Boy Jeopardy in minutes. Big Ol'
LS Tractor prize pack include some cool swag of my
hat stainless steel insulated thunder key chain. You go to
(21:04):
LS Tractor USA dot com you can find your local
dealer Len why customers start blue and stay blue? Hang on,
Play for it ten minutes.
Speaker 7 (21:12):
Remco Embassy Pictures brings you Robert Lewis Stevenson's classic Tale
of Terror.
Speaker 13 (21:24):
My am, I well, I'll show you.
Speaker 15 (21:28):
I'll show you all This formula I've created will unleash
the beast and even the most timid man. And now
I'll crew it by testing it on myself.
Speaker 8 (21:45):
Good heavens, what happening to me?
Speaker 7 (22:02):
Say here, Jackyl? What's all this cacklewalling in here?
Speaker 16 (22:06):
Heah, you're not Doctor Jackyll, a brilliant man of science,
becomes a victim of his own twisted experiment on.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Me enough, inspector came from Scotland.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yard.
Speaker 7 (22:20):
Have you seen a tall bloke with a horse face
and two humps on his back?
Speaker 6 (22:23):
Kind of spits when he talks?
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, all right.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
Off with him?
Speaker 7 (22:28):
He leads a tormented double life. By day, a mild
mannered neighborhood doctor.
Speaker 13 (22:34):
Take two of these and call me in the morning.
Speaker 7 (22:36):
By night, a beast stalking the foggy streets of London
by moonlight.
Speaker 12 (22:41):
Hadow, as I've heard alabachiv on the other gals, you're
mistic Clyde, ain't jack you?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (22:49):
I love your hopski, Doctor Jekyll, and mister Clyde. It's
time to unleash the beast.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Oh well, the known back when I was just a
little kid in Graham, North Carolina, listening to Clyde on
Ray Stephens, Santa Claus's coming to town. I'll be still
having fun right before I retire fifty years later. Yea,
(23:18):
actually sixty five years later.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Okay, yeah, we're still waiting on that whole hackerage to kill.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Well, let's just get on with our job then, then
play John boyd Jeopardy for the LS Tractor Prize pack.
Need to review yesterday's question. We found out before nineteen
oh four this beverage was always served lukewarm or hot.
But in Saint Louis Fair, the Worldfair in Saint Louis,
a young Terry Hansen said, hey, let's save it cold,
(23:51):
and of course it was nice tea. All right, Today's
John Boy Jeopardy. Forty one percent of Americans they have
considered physically attacking one of these while at work, and
seven percent say they have actually done it. What is
Bob in accounting? He does get on your nerves? Where's
(24:14):
my check? What y'all got?
Speaker 9 (24:16):
One?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Eight hundred? Big Show you told? Free line? We play
John Boy jumpindad next Good Thursday Morning, there's a big
(24:48):
show on the radio. In our feature track for the
Big Show, Big Box, lett listen more Halloween jokes, Hey words,
Halloween jokes hit the Big Box at the Big Show
dot Com. Now let's play Yes live across America. It's
John boy Jeopany.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
And now your host.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Ironically, the only thing he's ever really considered physically attacking
at work is me. He's John Boy.
Speaker 9 (25:19):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Still got time now, Hey Scott out of Elizabethon, Tennessee.
Good morning, Scott. Oh were you there, buddy? I'm there
there you are? Hey Scott, Hey, Bonny welcome. All right,
let me mess it up. You've got first shot at
John boyd Jeopardy this morning. So forty one percent of
(25:42):
Americans they have considered physically attacking one of these while
at work, and seven percent say they have actually done it.
What's your thinking, Scott, I'm gonna go with.
Speaker 8 (25:56):
Probably not my first answer, but I'll go with computer maybe.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
All right, well let's see, is it maybe a computer?
And sure I hear they can be very annoying. I
would have said the copier copiers more.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
I attacked a copier at work one time. Remember I
push it. I kept calling the man to come fix it,
and they just wouldn't send anybody. I pushed it out
in the parking lot.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
It was weird. You lost that time.
Speaker 8 (26:27):
I was the boss.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
Well, good work on you in Scott. You got the
big old prize pack. Head over to Elizabeth, Congratulations.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Can I give a shout out, yes, sir, you go ahead.
I about to give a shout out to my beautiful
walk Bridget and my kids, Isaac, Jacob, Brooklyn and Jackson.
I love you guys very much. Well, there you go, Scott,
proud of you and yours. I can feel it ain't
going that buddy. All right, we're gonna go out your
news this Horror Movie Day. We already heard Mumbles Maniac.
(27:05):
Tomedy guy. We're right on the other side, another early
horror horror on the big show. Good morning, it's a
(27:48):
big show on the radio on National Horror Movie Day.
You know, rady about Mumbles Maniac. While I go here
and I was turning it on me and Billy here
a method acting. We were gone. The elevator said, otis
you know the elevator magazine? Hmm, how can we make
something funny other? It was right before Halloween. Oh the elevator.
(28:10):
It won't shop going down, It just goes down further.
Speaker 17 (28:14):
I don't spoil it.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Now, I haven't seen it.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Then Billy with a tape recorder in the Elevator method,
acting genius.
Speaker 18 (28:23):
Singing Francis Ford Owensby presents a terrifying new motion picture
based on yet another book by Stephen King.
Speaker 15 (28:32):
Ay, hold that elevator for me, Come on.
Speaker 7 (28:34):
In, chuck the office you said it.
Speaker 13 (28:37):
Hey, there's Nelson.
Speaker 7 (28:38):
Don't let the door close.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
Let's take your hand in there.
Speaker 19 (28:40):
So okay, a new technological terror from the creator of
Christine Ogus Express Elevator from Hell?
Speaker 6 (28:50):
Is it my imagination?
Speaker 7 (28:51):
Or we've been going down for a long time. Ought
to be in the lobby by now? Is it getting
hot in near to you?
Speaker 20 (28:57):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 6 (28:58):
It's what the flames otis.
Speaker 18 (29:02):
Express Elevator from Hell from Repco Embassy making our.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Good ties in the morning. That's a big show on
the radio, rolling through your here in the October twentieth
and naw, I spend a few minutes with Marvin Webster.
Speaker 6 (29:45):
Yo, what's up? How are you all doing? Hey?
Speaker 10 (29:47):
Man, I got an email at work the other day.
We're han't costume day on Halloween again. Everybody's supposed to
come to work dressed up in a costume. May I
just say please? I'm a grown ass, grown ass man,
ain't got no business dressing up for Halloween. Okay, that's
for kids, of course. I got kind of a mixed
record when it comes to Halloween costumes over the years.
(30:09):
You know, back in the day, Halloween was easy. Mama,
take you to the kmart. You get one of them
ready made costumes in a box. You know, some cheap
ass Chinese looking jumpsuit thing with a string in the
back to tie around your neck and a mask with a.
Speaker 6 (30:23):
Rubber band to hold it on your head. You remember that.
Speaker 10 (30:25):
So one year, Mama bought me a Superman costume. It
had the suit, had a little cape, and it had
a Superman mask. Didn't look a whole lot like Superman though,
looked more like one of the guys on the Pep
Boys sign. End of the night, these two mean dudes
from down the block rolled up on me, whooped my
ass and took all my candy with something. So next year,
(30:49):
Mama bought me the six million dollar Man suit that
was my favorite TV show. I think it had the
same mask as the Superman costume, but his hair was
brown instead of blue. Anyway, end of the night, sure enough,
seen two dudes from last year whooped my ass and
took all my candy with Well. The next day, my
(31:09):
uncle Cedric pulled me to the side and said, boy,
let me tell you something. If you ever want to
get in with some candy in this neighborhood, you need
to quit going out for Halloween in a white boy many,
which I thought was a good point. So next year
I made my own costume, you know, something a little
more relevant to the black experience. I went as Jimmy
and JJ Walker from Good Time. I already had the hat.
(31:32):
I just threw dining on Mike. Then after the trick
or treat party.
Speaker 6 (31:35):
And I was get to go out. But after that
I kind of aged out of Halloween for a while.
Speaker 10 (31:40):
Then I got a job and I started dating this
smoking hot little girl at the place I worked at.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
She was from a real big family.
Speaker 10 (31:48):
Day before Halloween, she goes, get your costume, red at baby,
you and me's taking all the little nieces and nephews
out for trick or treat tomorrow night.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
See that.
Speaker 10 (31:57):
I ought to tell you how hot this girl was
taking a bunch of little kids out for trigger Street
and they ain't even mine. So I said, well, okay,
I'll go, but I ain't really got no costume. She said, Oh,
I don't worry about it. Come on over to Mama's house.
We'll make you up one from scratch. Well, this was
when Purple Rain had just come out, so Prince was
pretty hot back then. And she went in the closet
(32:19):
and pulled out this purple velvet jacket that her mama
used to wear the church on Sunday, and then a
little white blouse with a little ruffle thing on the neck.
Then she put some Jerry curle in my hair. Next
thing you know, I was Prince from Papa Rain. Okay,
I was more like Dave Chappelle, Prince from the Charlie
Murphy Basketball.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
You know, a guy do what he gotta do.
Speaker 10 (32:42):
I knew it was bad when the girl broke up
with me the day after Halloween and didn't even ask
me for the clothes.
Speaker 6 (32:49):
So about that time, my mama started trying to get
me to go back to church. As mama will do.
She brought me the shop looking jet black two piece suit.
Speaker 10 (32:58):
It was fine, So for costume day at work, I
started wearing a black suit with one of mama's church wigs.
I went as Samuel Jackson from Pulp Fiction. I had
a little trouble with that one too. I walked in
the door, I said, you know, the path of the
righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities
of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. All
(33:22):
the white dudes in the office said what I said, what?
Speaker 8 (33:25):
What?
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Ain't no country I ever heard of?
Speaker 10 (33:27):
Say what again? I dare you, I double dare you?
Say what one more time? Then they all went, oh, yeah,
men in black.
Speaker 6 (33:35):
I got it.
Speaker 10 (33:37):
Then a couple of years ago, Prince died, and for
some reason, I guess I was going down memory lane.
I tried to do the purple rain thing for Halloween again,
so I dressed up, went into work in the purple
jacket and the wig.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
One of the white dudes goes, hey, I know you,
Rick James, bitch what you said?
Speaker 10 (33:56):
And that's when I quit dressing up for costume day altogether.
Now I just go to work in the street clothes,
and when somebody rolls up and says who you supposed
to be?
Speaker 6 (34:04):
I just go wasn't your wallet? Y'all? Think about it?
I'm nut about.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Good morning, The Big Show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 17 (34:16):
When I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit.
And I like listening to John Boy and Billy and
that they're big show. I like the way they talk.
They're a funny ha ha, not funny queers, that's what
they say. Anyhow, I figured out why John Boy has
a hard time getting started in the morning. Ain't gotten
(34:37):
the gaye.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Good morning? It's a mix Shaw on the radio National
horror movie. They were celebrating. Oh and coming up in November.
It's an election this year.
Speaker 11 (35:26):
The war doesn't been on hallow.
Speaker 13 (35:30):
Well, looks like he's about time to close the pulse.
Speaker 12 (35:32):
Yere.
Speaker 7 (35:33):
The people have spoken.
Speaker 6 (35:34):
It's been in November.
Speaker 10 (35:34):
They'll remember, all right.
Speaker 6 (35:36):
That's a fact.
Speaker 13 (35:36):
Nothing left to do now but count the votes.
Speaker 6 (35:40):
Wait a minute, listen hearn it?
Speaker 9 (35:42):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Holy crap, Zamy, What do they want?
Speaker 11 (35:54):
More bone chilling than the living dead, more blood curdling
than the walking dead. Nothing can be as terrifying as
the voting dead.
Speaker 18 (36:07):
It seems to have started in Chicago, but now it's
spread to.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
All over the country.
Speaker 17 (36:11):
Information not your snakes.
Speaker 10 (36:13):
Hard as it is to believe than are rising from
the grave and heading to the polls.
Speaker 9 (36:19):
We've often heard stories about the names of the dead
appearing on the voter rolls.
Speaker 7 (36:24):
But now it's happening.
Speaker 12 (36:25):
Because Chris, it appears the Republicans lead in this landslide
election is quickly disappearing.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
The zombies are voting Democrat.
Speaker 7 (36:31):
I repeat, the zombies are voting Democrat.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
Voting Democrat.
Speaker 11 (36:36):
Just when you thought your world couldn't get any more frightening,
Lobco Embassy Pictures presents an all new terror, ripped from
today's headlines, the voting dead.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Dog.
Speaker 6 (36:52):
Do you understand what's going on? In simple times?
Speaker 12 (36:55):
Lieutenants, the zombies and what you would call on automatic
pilots operating on instinct alone.
Speaker 7 (37:00):
Well, yeah, but why on earth will they vote Democrat?
Speaker 13 (37:03):
I think that's a parent. Yes, cerebral synapsis have stopped firing.
Speaker 12 (37:06):
They are operating solely from the ideological cortex of the
medulla oblongata.
Speaker 6 (37:11):
Speak English, doc. We ain't scientists.
Speaker 7 (37:14):
Why are they voting Democrat? To put it dicinctly, their
brains have ceased to function.
Speaker 11 (37:22):
Dead and and you can't stop them.
Speaker 12 (37:27):
Oo, Tony, look out, that zombie is coming right for you.
Speaker 7 (37:30):
That's no zombie is rhyma manual.
Speaker 13 (37:33):
How do you tell the.
Speaker 6 (37:34):
Difference it's not a bunch lard, it's fo.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. Coming up. We
played beat the Blonde for Big Old Bulls not Cleaning.
Prize back one hundred and twenty dollars of it. Go
to Big show dot com. Click on that bull snot Bound.
Get all the info need, hang on win it in minutes.
Let's find out who's winning right here. Our winner, mister
Doug Rice is joining us as he does every Thursday
(38:09):
morning to talk about our NASCAR sport. Good morning, Doug, Well,
what a.
Speaker 13 (38:15):
Pleasure to be here, Johnny.
Speaker 20 (38:17):
Just two races left to go, two spots opening the
final playoff race out in Phoenix, and right now it's
good to be Joe Gibbs.
Speaker 13 (38:25):
He has two of those four spots locked up.
Speaker 20 (38:27):
Denny Hamlin did it by winning out at Las Vegas,
and then this past weekend Chase Briscoe down at Talladega.
So two Joe Gibbs toyotas in and that is half
of the final playoff feel locked in place.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
I both. That is Chase Briscoe's third win this year.
You know, we always talk about it is whoever gets
hot right here during these playoffs is what is all
about Doug and.
Speaker 20 (38:54):
We've talked a lot about that, and the last few
years it's been Team Pinsk. Right now, they are not
so hot. Joey Logano is thirty eight points below the
cut line. Ryan Blaney his teammate, minus forty seven. That's
not totally insurmountable, but they no longer are in charge
of their destiny. They would need other people to have
(39:16):
really bad days to fall back, and.
Speaker 13 (39:18):
Then they would probably have to come on now.
Speaker 20 (39:20):
If either one of them win at Martinsville, they would
automatically get in.
Speaker 13 (39:24):
But the road's pretty tough right now for the defenning champion.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
And I was teasing our listeners when we was talking
about I was going to talk to you today, Yes
and day, I said, the Chase one. We'll find out
which one, but dog on it. The Chase Briscoe is
a winner and the most popular driver. Chase Elliott is
kind of up against a wall.
Speaker 13 (39:42):
Yeah he is.
Speaker 20 (39:43):
He finished fortieth and there were only forty cars in
the race, So if you'd like to say, that's not
too good. So he finished fortieth on the day. He
is absolutely in a must win situation. The only way
Chase Elliott goes to Phoenix and Races for the championship
is to win at Martinsville.
Speaker 13 (40:01):
It's as simple as that.
Speaker 20 (40:02):
There are other wild combos for Blaney and Logano and
William Byron who are all below the cut line to
get in, but they need help.
Speaker 13 (40:11):
They need the people in front of.
Speaker 20 (40:12):
Them to have a really bad day, and they've got
to have an exceptional day.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
That's so what happened Doug did he Chase Elliott finishing last.
I didn't get the seat in.
Speaker 20 (40:22):
He got caught up in a crash that he had
nothing to do with, but that happens at Talladega and
messed up his car. I think it was on lap
fifty one early on in the race, and he was
the most disabled car in the crash. So he is
credited with last place. So no place for Chase Elliot
to go. And now he has won. He has won
(40:43):
a race at Martinsville, so he does know how to
get it done there, and you know he might have
a shot. SODA's Blainey and Logano they've won there before too,
So we'll see how this plays out the way I'm
looking at it right now, I think that the four
drivers above the cut line, it's easy to say Christopher
Bell at plus thirty seven, also at Joe Gibbs Toyota,
(41:04):
and Kyle Larson Hendrick Chevrolet at plus thirty six.
Speaker 13 (41:08):
Odds are that they make it.
Speaker 20 (41:10):
Unless they go up there and just have a disastrous
day or somebody like Logano or Blaney wins, then I
feel like they're going to get in. It will be
one of the eight drivers above the cutoff line that wins.
Because there's a strange thing that happens in these playoffs.
The other drivers don't They don't want to be the
(41:31):
guy that causes somebody to not get into the playoffs, right,
And you'll see this if they don't do something to
themselves halfway through the race, that eight playoff drivers will
have eight of the top ten positions. It just works
that way, and I think part of it's a respect
from the other drivers that don't want to be the
driver that knocks somebody out of the playoffs.
Speaker 6 (41:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
So with Vegas, Denny Hamlin, Tyladega, Chase Briscoe, We've got
Martin phil this weekend, so we laid that out about
who needs to win and then Phoenix for the championship.
So it'll only be four drivers running for the championship.
Speaker 20 (42:10):
When we get to Phoenix, four drivers and whoever finishes
the best, they don't have to win, They just have
to beat the other three drivers that are running for
the title. A couple of years ago, when Blainey won it,
he didn't win the race. Bross Testain went out and
won the race and Blainey finished second, but that was
good enough to win the championship.
Speaker 13 (42:29):
So that's all you've got to do. I feel like,
and we've talked about this.
Speaker 20 (42:34):
Before, Johnny, that this will be the last year we
come down to the last race winner take off. I
just think there's gonna be a change. There's been too
much chatter about changing the way the championship is decided
and how the points are going to be divvied out.
I think where there's that much smoke, there is definitely
something that's going to be done to change the way
(42:54):
we crown the champion. But that'll be next year. This year,
four drivers, two of them we know will be from
Joe Gibbs. Good chance Christopher Bell will make up a
third one from that team.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
All right, then, so look at Martinville the paper clip.
How are you approaching this raise? Doug who you got.
Speaker 20 (43:12):
Well, you know, Denny Hamlin's good there, but I don't
know that he's got I don't know he has anything
to gain by trying to win, unless he's just so good.
Ryan Blaney's worth watching. He's won there twice in recent memory.
He's actually won this fall race the last two years.
So even though he's well behind the cut line, if
(43:34):
they go up there with a really quick car, he
could win and get in. So Blainey right now is
kind of my sleeper favorite. And you know, I never
count out Kyle Larson, and Larson needs a good day,
he does not need. They don't need to go up there.
Speaker 13 (43:50):
And have a disaster day.
Speaker 20 (43:51):
I have a feeling that these teams that are this
close will play it kind of safe and just count
on the other teams not having a great day and
coming on to win it.
Speaker 13 (44:00):
It's it's it's a little tricky.
Speaker 17 (44:02):
It is.
Speaker 20 (44:02):
It is a little tricky, but I'm just gonna go
right now. I think Belle and Larson grab those last
two spots.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
All right, Buddy, I think you might be on the
something there. And I'm glad you pointed out about do
you know the Hamling and the and the drivers who
don't want to be the guy to take somebody out
of the playoff.
Speaker 13 (44:21):
You no, don'g.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
That's it, man, You that in mind, all I dog
you the man. Enjoy your weekend. We'll meet here next
week again, all right, take care, thanks about Thank you
so much as I man Doug Reich and can follow
him on x at a rice Man sixty one. Right now,
let's play be the Blonde one eight hundred big show.
You told free line you're the contestant, and play next
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Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.