December 12, 2024 • 46 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, JD’s 24-hour Stores have unwrapped their Christmas Blow Out Sale.. - Married Man contemplates his own existence.. - Comedian Joe Denim calls in from the road to talk about his Christmas song, “Yes, Dear Season”.. - Little Sammy the Jokester gets some life coaching from Tim Wilson.. - and we’ll hear the trailer for the Holiday special, “John Boy’s Chronic Lyrichosis Christmas Special”…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Good morning. You got the Big Joe on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
More chances for the wind coming up after your news
weathers Mart.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Yeah, this is your old pals.
Speaker 4 (00:12):
You stand La Black when I'm not mooching some of
that fine Jacques Danielle Whiskey and I play the right
fine gumbo off my best friend Woodrow Boodrow and that
sassy sack of wife and he is on Lizbeth. I'm
listening to those tool wacky Cajun John Boy and Philly
right there on that they're.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Big Shoe Woe. There's funny I Guary on Pete.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
We're rocking into December to twelfth here in the Big
Show on the radio. Gary Ho Ho Hoy rocking some
Hey nuts Christmas music there.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
He's very popular. It's music we listen to.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
It's just anoy.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Remind you to get set up.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
You might win that autograph ender guitar Gary gives away
every Christmas.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Garyhoha dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Where will you make your day to visit to the
Big Show dot com and I featured track of the
day Jo Boys chronic Lyricosist Christmas TV special. Oh yeah, alright,
then they come a few nights days. Excuse me National
Ambrosia Day. Yeah, that's a salad right.
Speaker 6 (02:06):
Well, kind of cold technically is called a salad, but
it's like fruit stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
National Dingling Day, My dang a ling want of Juck
Barry's biggest his bless his heart, about half invented rock
and roll. He knows for his dingling. Actually dinglings on
this today called the people that hadn't heard from in
a while.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
You like, give them a dingling. Okay, Gingerbread House Day.
We'll get Marty in the judge some later. We always
used to you know him who.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Would judge the gingerbread houses at the Grove Park in
John Boy Billy comedy classes.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I remember very prestigials. Yes, in that picture when he
looked like he's coming out of the closet. That's just
what am I going to do about it? I like it?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
National point set of Day, and I learned, do not
eat these Christmas.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Flowers you or your dog? Yeah, keep them away from
dogs and I don't. Little cats catch.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
Are more likely to eat your house plants than your dog.
But it starts are smarter, you know that's why.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Well, happy points of today. Don't eat them?
Speaker 7 (03:14):
Right?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Three days and this are saved up.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
We got our first prize pack out and get the
winning beginning for this December the twelfth, Big Shows on
the Radio.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
All right, look at our first prize pack today headed
toward Christmas time and a sworm of the small batch
hand cooked peanuts from bird Tea County Peanuts, Southern tradition
for over one hundred years. We want you to get
to know our boys in Eastern Carolina where I grow
peanuts like nobody else. If you enter code JB be
(03:47):
a checkout, you get twenty five percent off and we're
talking about you and you can do everybody on your
Christmas gift list. Still time to do family, friends, clients.
You got the business. They'll be talking about you for
a while. So inter coach j abb at checkout twenty
five percent off plus free shipping. Click on the link
Bertie County Peanuts dot net. They're going to win you
(04:07):
at the Big Show dot com and that'll work right now.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Let's get you set up to win it.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Three dates in history where we'll get our category all right.
December twelfth, eighteen ninety nine, the US Patent Office issued
patent number to George F. Grant Boston for his invention
of the golf tea. Before that, golfers placed a ball
on a small mound of dirt.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Called a tee. You have to make your own small
mount of dirt we have there on the I bet
the golf courses love that.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
That was eighteen ninety nine. Where we goes George.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Nineteen twenty five the world's first motel open in Saint
Luis Obispo, California.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
It was called the motel End.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Finally, on this date in forty six, after twenty years
of research, Cincinnati's Proctering Gamble introduced Tide, the detergent, with
a complex chemical compound that actually pulled oil and grease
out of clothes, and the solved that wise.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Wide eye here.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Gurgled with some Oh man, was I finished?
Speaker 8 (05:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Kind of?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Oh so no, I got four more hours of this job.
So tied Tide, Yeah, detergent. Think about that?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
All right?
Speaker 7 (05:25):
There you go?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Where's there? Three categories? One ain't on the Biggeshow you
don't free lit? You said, we'll get the winning beginning.
(05:56):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It's to make sure on the radio to do your Thursday,
December the twelve, with our featured track from the Big
Show bed Box A musk for your John Mobilly Christmas album.
John Moy's chronic Lyricosis Christmas TV specialal hear those chipmunks
roasting on an open fire with key your Words Christmas
TV The MT I fin.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
Upburst. Let's play Outburst. That's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
John Boys and Billy.
Speaker 9 (06:31):
He gave the prizes from the Big Prize be Let's
go contested number one.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You're playing Outburst.
Speaker 9 (06:44):
Have a hurry up and guest, time you love the
best time you love a big shots.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Let's say, heard a Rusty from Bristow Wild and Yard.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
We have shots.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Good morning, rust Day, Hey, good morning they After twenty
years of calling in, I probably got into you and
I've been lucky twice in a year. No, I hate
you Rusday. Do we owe you move or do we
take care of that? In your first time?
Speaker 10 (07:21):
You took care of that?
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Oh right, I love you here?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Oh no, I'm sorry? Oh no, is the only one move?
Oh no, only one?
Speaker 10 (07:31):
Only one?
Speaker 11 (07:32):
Okay, it's nearly got one hand fighting the other hand.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
The resident. We're glad you didn't here.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
By let's get you through these three categories and get
you those bird Tea County peanuts.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
You ready, yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Five seconds? Give us three sports that use a T.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Ready go.
Speaker 10 (07:56):
Football, no ball, golf and kids tea ball?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
All right, well you were ready for the old T thing.
Mindy tell you that little googer joke when I was
going through the drive through wait sports my live anyway
and I coached bow and anyway. Well, let's well, let's
say how many motels you've been to? We need three
of them? Ready, go.
Speaker 10 (08:19):
A motel Chick Chick ray red riffion.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
No, right, there.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
A lot of motels in my live, like yeah, after
each category.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Hell, you did it.
Speaker 12 (08:37):
That.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Let's uh, well, let's see if you spend their time
in laundry. Give us three closed detrotions. I'll try three
closed three clo.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yes, you know what's coming.
Speaker 10 (08:52):
Now? You said five seconds.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I was trying to hurry. Oh yeah, there's nine the clock. Yeah,
three detertions, okay, start five now go all right, ted
tear game.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I got that, and now we're Worthey Brti County Peanuts
priest package to Rusty from Bristol.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I love you all, love.
Speaker 10 (09:16):
You, chris My mornings every day. Boomer, Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
All right, now it is your news right on the
other side of this report. You know what we do
early Thursday time capsule, Get us a lot.
Speaker 13 (10:11):
This is the award winning Jah Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export. Nobody covers weather like the
Weather Channel, the satellite maps, the live reports, and everyone's favorite,
(10:33):
the local forecast. Music Now, Montavanni Records presents The Weather
Channel the original soundtrack album thirty two all time Weather
Channel favorites, including but wait, you also get and Weather
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Speaker 14 (11:39):
A cock custom of Call Toell three one one hundred
and five to fivey five Schmaltz The Other Channel The
Original soundtrack Order today.
Speaker 15 (11:46):
John William Dilly Dad, I've never seen you so happy?
Does this have something to do with the naked lady
you were.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
In bed with morning radio.
Speaker 15 (11:55):
Done right, Good morning.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
That's a big show on the radio, about twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Away from a married man Christmas.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Right now, it's time for an American minute with Tank Hogard.
Speaker 16 (12:36):
Thanks Red, Hey America, Tank Hogarth, there got a minute.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
You know.
Speaker 16 (12:42):
I thought, with the country taking a new direction, our
beloved star spangled Republic could pull out of this national nose,
dive into the abyss at intolerance and ignorance, and ascend
to the red, white and blue righteousness we used to know.
There's just one little obstacle to hurdle, one more bump
in the road to navigate, one more partially moist dog log,
(13:05):
to scrape off the shoe of hope and change, to
make America great again. That's right, the holidays. So zip
your yapper and plant that wide load for two shakes,
and there's a real possibility that maybe, just maybe you'll
go away a little bit smarter, which, judging from some
of you dim bulbs, is a real damn stretch. Afterwards,
(13:28):
you can write your complaints on a card, roll it
into a ball, and stick it up your dumper. There's
a nice spot right to the left next to your head. Well, kitties,
it's that time of year again, Christmas, the Yule Tide,
a time for marshmallow dreams and kids high pitched screams.
(13:49):
Remember the good old days when the ho ho hose
used to come from the north pole instead of the
Kardashian family tree, When everybody love going to the manger
to see maybe Jesus instead of giving automatic citizenship to Babyjesus.
When cities went all out decorating the streets with millions
of lights because no one had started a cry and
(14:12):
a fit about global warming yet, and there was so
much by God tinsel that you were picking it out
of the dog's crap till June, and everyone was saying
Merry Christmas instead of Hey, jackass, I saw that flat
screen TV first, and if you want to go home
with all your damn teeth, you'll step off. I don't know.
(14:35):
Maybe I'm living in the past. Maybe I'm not with
this new scene man. Maybe I think stocking should be
hung by the chimney with care instead of hung next
to your boyfriend's pantyhose in the shower, next to his
loofah sponge and his shower crocs. But I'll tell you
this much. If your butt pucker's when somebody says Merry Christmas,
and you should probably stock your advent calendar with XANDIX.
(15:00):
What the hell have you done to Christmas America? Christmas
in America used to be a time to look forward to.
You couldn't wait until Thanksgiving because you knew the very
next day the stores would reopen, glistening and glittering with
all that seasonal do dads and geegaws that made you
want to buy some new rabbit ears for the old
black and white idiot bucks so you could clearly see
(15:22):
all the gin blossoms on Bing Crosby's nose. Now you
can barely get to the Freddy Krueger mask and rubber
guts because of all the cheap led made in China
Christmas lights in the way. And if there's anything worse
than those godless heathens, there's another dingleberry hanging on the
old Bacchanalia butt hair. Come on, you know who I'm
(15:44):
talking about? Those smug snootye no it alls to spend
their time telling you how smart they are and how
stupid you are. I'm talking about the atheists, Their sole
purpose in life is to be pissed off that you
dare believe in something they don't. And I'll be damned
if I can understand how me saying Merry Christmas is
(16:05):
enough to send them screaming on tippy toes to the
legal system like some panny waste. I will offer a
disclaimer the aforementioned jerks on all intolerant America, hating, judgmental,
pushy cornhole sniffers, just most of them. Look, they're entitled
to their opinions, but that's all they're entitled to. These
people will represent a fraction of the citizen of this
(16:26):
great country. But every time we bow and scrape and
call Christmas vacation a winter holiday and dismantle some Nativity
scene because it's some sort of trigger, the USA dies
a little bit inside, which reminds me of a poem
my father used to read the name jingle Bells Batman
Smells Robin was killed by the joker. If you say
(16:51):
Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, I'm gonna beat you
with a fireplace poker. Oh dear, look at the time,
I've overstayed my welcome once again. Tough crap, and you're
welcome until next time. This is thank ho gard.
Speaker 17 (17:11):
Stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Good morning, you got a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
More chances for you to win coming up after your
news weathers parts.
Speaker 18 (17:34):
I stand on the hill, but not for a thrill,
for the breath of a fresh keel. And never mind
the man who contemplates doing away with license plates. He
stands alone anyhow, Bacon the cookies of discontent by the
heat of the londermnvent leaving his soul and then like
(17:59):
in portr Ragle dot dot dot, you know, kind of
host set.
Speaker 19 (18:02):
Up leaving a soul hearten the waters of the Medulla
oblong gy with John Boy and Billy on the big
show like that one, John Boy, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Good morning. It's will make Shaw on the radio. It's
a wonderful life.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It's a married man. Christmas in minutes right now? Is they?
What's happening to A JD's.
Speaker 20 (19:03):
Oh howdy friends, it's been a while because I've been
sigger than Hillary Clinton's by weekly got of colleges.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
You can just feel the life dream right out of
you now here.
Speaker 20 (19:16):
It turns out old JD has a bad case of
the diabetes. And I still ain't found that swamp scank
up knob holler, what give it to me? Anyway? Christmas
is a running right up, you britches, leg and right
here at JD's twenty four hour drive through ponting on
auto parts pharmaceutical don't give bait and tackle discount cigarette
out like we're catering to you fellers. What still ain't
got no more shopping done than a flat broke midget
with a busted transmission.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I can't get it out of first year.
Speaker 20 (19:36):
So from now until Christmas Eve, it's the JD's Procrastination liquidation,
sell and if and you first think all the good
stuff has gonne plumb.
Speaker 15 (19:42):
Off the shelves.
Speaker 20 (19:45):
This year JD's is fully stocked with high quality merchandise
that even your severely bipolar brother in law will enjoy
until his next bout of chronic depression. Oh God, and
Trims I cansact now get four free passes to the
Traveling Baked Beans and fried Tator's Traveling Museum. Redeem a
until twenty twenty five, or the Bills win the Super Bowl,
whichever comes first.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
You've going over the cheers of the crowd. You can
hear the Buffalo Bills choking.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
On the sidelines as they lose their fourth consecutive Super Bowl.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
But wait, friends, there's more.
Speaker 20 (20:15):
Don't be left out in the damn cold this Saturday
night at our Yazoo City, Mississippi location for an evening
of full metal jacket holiday cheer. Sergeant Hartman will be
there to do all out complimentary ass kickens to anybody
man enough to challenge his love for all of God's
children waiting for you, You little burger and friends. Visit
any JD's location and donate an off brand cannamackerel and
be automatically registered to win tickets to Howard the Town
Drunk on Ice, a tribute to Pepper Mitch snucks HiT's
(20:37):
the JD Procrastination Liquidation Cell.
Speaker 21 (20:40):
Oh yeah, so come on.
Speaker 20 (20:41):
Down and bring the wife, the kids, and even that
toothless skunkcape. You've been fooling around with them. Find better
deals than a Michael Vick prison sens. Come visit our
new location in Farmersville, Kentucky, across from Chisel Chuck Carner's
Infant Clothing outlet and drive through sobriety checkpoint.
Speaker 22 (20:53):
Good today, Dady Dade, Why aside, boy?
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Good morning?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Got the big show on the radio. Coming up, we
played John Boyd Jeopardy for a Happy Herd prize. Pag
hev you heard makes top quality attractings, minerals and feed
for deer, bear and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd,
you better hope your neighbors aren't really going to Happy
Herd Banter The Big Show dot Com. You interercoche JBB
you'll get tim percent off. Check out hang onna play
(21:25):
for it. Ten minutes the first of Christmas classic.
Speaker 23 (21:36):
My Readmind, My Readman Drive, surrounding a minivan, God, my
wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids.
Hey there it goes to My read Man housey Field. Listen, dude,
this part, guys.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Really screwed hanging on. Buy a thread, cord of milk,
loaf of bread.
Speaker 23 (22:00):
There goes the married man, got a big gas grow, buys.
Speaker 9 (22:06):
His clothes at the gap, and he's just about had
enough for this car.
Speaker 23 (22:13):
Married man, marry man, friendly neighborhood, married man.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Hie for him, has nothing life.
Speaker 9 (22:20):
I'll let him do what she says.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
It's about time he grew up. There's a screw you
don't find the married man.
Speaker 14 (22:31):
Our story opens on a cold, cloudy Christmas Eve, the
winter wind whips around a small bridge over a dark
and icy river. Our hero married man sits atop the
guardrail with his Powell College buddy.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I can't believe your mini van ran out of gas.
Speaker 14 (22:47):
I told you the wife had some last minute errands
to run. She must have just forgotten to go by
the service stack.
Speaker 16 (22:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, all I know is should have laughing it up
in the office Christmas party at the country club. We're
sitting here waiting for somebody to bring us a care
a gas. Of course, it could be worse. At least
this didn't turn out to be another parody of it.
It's a wonderful life. I don't know what you mean.
You know, it's a wonderful life. Jimmy Stewart's getting ready
to kill himself. Clarencey Angel comes by, shows him what
(23:13):
his life would be like if he never was born.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Huh, Well that's not me.
Speaker 14 (23:17):
I mean, let me tell you something, college buddy, I
already have a wonderful life.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Oh well, excuse me just a minute.
Speaker 14 (23:26):
Hello, hi, honey, what you need me to pick up
a can of cranberry sauce for Christmas dinner? And you
called the country club. They said I wasn't there, and
you were wondering where I was. Well, the mini van
kind of ran out of gas, and college buddy called
a friend of his. He's bringing us some What why
(23:49):
was the line busy when you called just a moment ago? Well,
probably because I let college buddy use my phone to
call his friend. Yes, I know, we only get so
much minutes a month. This was kind of an emergency. Honey,
how did it happen?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Well?
Speaker 14 (24:05):
I think you may have forgotten to fill up the
tank when you were out yesterday. No, I think you
were the last one to drive, don't you remember? But well,
well you may be right. Yes, it's probably my fault. Yeah,
he's on his way right now. I'm not really sure. Yeah,
(24:26):
I could ask you how long will it take your
friend to get here? About fifteen more minutes? Probably about
fifteen more minutes or so, honey, Yes, I'll call you
when he gets here.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Okay, bye? Sorry, So what were we talking about. It's
a wonderful line. Oh yeah, So Jimmy Stewart.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Was in that huh yeah, he say he was ready
to commit suicide because.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Excuse me again?
Speaker 14 (24:50):
Hello, yes, dear, No, dear, I won't forget the can
of cranberry sauce.
Speaker 15 (24:56):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
What's that?
Speaker 14 (24:58):
Mother Fletcher is in town and she's going to be
spending the whole week with us. Well, yes, that is
great news. I'll tell her I look forward to seeing her. Okay, goodbye.
So Jimmy Stewart was.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, Jimmy Stewart was damn hello, Yes, honey, what's that?
Speaker 14 (25:19):
Mother Fletcher wants to know if college buddy's friend could
stop by a convenience store and pick up what. I
don't know if Reesu's makes peanut butter Christmas reads.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
She's sure she.
Speaker 14 (25:31):
Saw them last year. Well, I guess I could check
into that. Okay, No, college buddy's friend. He really hasn't
had time to get here yet. Han, Yes, i'll call
you soon. Goodbye. So suicide huh.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, he got this idea that, Hey, married man, you're
not thinking of jumping off this bridge, are you?
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 14 (25:55):
Sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels here.
You know, every moment of my life is laid off
for me. She never stopped every hour of every day.
It's always something. Sometimes I feel like I'm.
Speaker 24 (26:06):
Gonna Hey, guys, I got your gas right here.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Hey, Randy, boy, we're starting to wonder if you were
gonna show up married man's wife's worried sick.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yeah, I'm sorry it took so long.
Speaker 25 (26:19):
I had to finish up my annual two hour Merry
Christmas Darling tape to my wife, and all the way
over here I realized, I, well, I'd already gotten the
mystery gift lined up, but I didn't have anything in
case she picked the standard gift.
Speaker 24 (26:31):
Now, granted she never picks the standard gift. But what
am I gonna do if I get caught by surprise?
You know, I remember Christmas in eighty seven. That's when
I hey, hey guys, Hey married man, Hey, hey, what
are you guys doing?
Speaker 5 (26:43):
Put me down.
Speaker 24 (27:00):
Better?
Speaker 14 (27:00):
Well, you know that's the magic of the holiday season.
No matter how little you have, some people have even less.
You know, college buddy, it may not be a wonderful life,
but it could always be worse. From all of us,
have to all of you now, best wishes for a
happy and blessed holiday season.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Man, look at this, Randy sure have a lot of
stuff in his car. Hey, Reece's peanut butter reads. I
didn't know they still made these.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Hey, I'll split us with you.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
You're own, big man.
Speaker 17 (27:31):
You don't find the money?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
No Ah, Well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Yesterday's question.
We found out every language on earth is got a
cowgoing move, you know, cuckoo going cuckoo. But we found
out dogs have different languages China wang wang, Greece gab, gab,
(27:53):
Ukrainians off off just bow wow over here. Okay, those
are dogs? Yes as what today is John Boy Jeopardy.
During his mission to chart the coast of South America,
Charles Darwin also reported the discovery of more than fifteen
hundred new animal species. But he didn't just observe and
(28:15):
report on the animals he found. He often would also
do this to him and wrote about that as well.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
What does take them on long walks? Whatever that is?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
No, Charles ain't gonna do that. What y'all got one
eight hundred big show you told freelane across America?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
We played John boyd Jeopardy.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Next Good Thursday Morning, It is the Big Show on
(29:07):
the radio. Today's feature track from The Big Show bed Box,
John Boy's chronic Lyricosis Christmas TV specials.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
There's for keywords Christmas TV.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Get to know yourself with the bit box at the
Big show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
There right now.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Well that's why yehs live across America.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
It's John Boy Jumper and now your host.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
Before beating chronic lyricosis, he was addicted to the hoky oki,
but he managed to put his whole self in and
turn himself about. He's John Boy and that.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
There's a hay to Josh out of Elizabethan, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Good morning, Josh, Good morning, John Boy. Hello Boddy, how
are you today?
Speaker 10 (29:56):
I'm doing all right?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
All right? Sounds like in a big old old rum,
I like.
Speaker 10 (30:04):
Speaker.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
That's all good.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Josh, Well you got first shot at John Boy jepardy,
however you relay it to us. So, during his mission
to chart the coast of South America, Charles Darwin reported
the discovery more than fifteen hundred new animal species. But
he didn't just observe and the report on the animals
he found. He often would also do this to him
and wrote about that as well, What did old Darwin
(30:29):
do there?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Josh them? He would eat them. Let's say you, old Charles,
I like you. Yep, he was voids.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
The HMS beagle was so he wrote about eating armadillos,
which he said taste and look like duck. You know
we call those here, you know, uh, posamon, a halfshell,
a twenty pound guinea pig like rodent that he said
was the best meat I ever tasted. I'm gonna figure
(31:10):
out what that is. A puma, which he thought tasted
like veal the names.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Just a few.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
While on the Galoppolis Islands, Darwin reported eating iguana, lots
of birds, and many of the giant tortoises.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
In fact, they were leaving the Galoppolos Islands, they rounded
up about fifty of those giant tortoises and had a
big party on the boat.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I've did it good and no recipes.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Did eat anything like that?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Well, Josh, you just want you bunch of hay heard you.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Can call up some good tasting animals with that, buddy,
good luck?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
All right, thank you, John boy very much. All right,
my boy, hang on, all right, here's a plan.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
We're gonna jump out and catch you up on on
your news, catburry fun and Christmas time riding on the
other side.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
We call our agent Murray.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Listen twenty minute, Thursday morning, December the twelfth, Big shows
(32:47):
on the radio heading toward Christmas time.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Come on, cad Bury, everybody's waiting. What's taking so long?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
This red suit makes me look fat, so.
Speaker 26 (32:57):
You're supposed to look fat, cat Bear, your Santa Claus
boy stomach padding looks real.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I'm not wearing the stomach paddings.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
You're right, cat Berry, it does make you look fat.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I'm going home, so hey, at least.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
You're not dressed up like an alf like me and Billy.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Stupid hat, gooby looking pants, funky shoes.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yes, it's a very becoming outfits.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
H Well, I left that at home. These are my
regular clothes.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Perhaps you should come with me.
Speaker 26 (33:21):
So come on, Barry, can't just point all these kids
are killed on us, your Santa Claus.
Speaker 27 (33:26):
Oh, sir, I fear I just don't fit the Santa
Claus mold.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I don't get on well with children.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
You kidding My kids, Billy's kids, they love you, man,
they love it when.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
You babysit them.
Speaker 27 (33:37):
That's because they torture me, sir, really unmercifles.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Well, why didn't you ever say anything?
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Well, I believe the phrase is I need the gigs.
Speaker 14 (33:50):
Hey, mister French, what's a hold up? These nerve racking
brats are turning into a mob here. Hey, nice fat suit.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
That's it. Good nights.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Wait to go, Billy.
Speaker 14 (33:58):
Hey, at least you're not dressed like an elf tried down.
Speaker 27 (34:01):
Now, if you excuse me, sirs, I'd like to change
out of my fat suit.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Oh boy, Johnny, you gotta do something. We're about to
have a melt down here.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
All right, Cadbury, gonna go, But first I want you
to look at those faces.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yes, sir, I've seen better heads on boils.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Don't come on, Cadbury, look at him. Remember how you
felt when you were a kid.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
It's too late, sir. My hot strings are untuggable.
Speaker 26 (34:25):
Remember back when you were just a little Cadbury, the excitement,
the anticipation, trying to decide what you wanted for Christmas,
and just waiting for the day you got the chance
to line up to see Santa Claus.
Speaker 27 (34:37):
Yes I do, indeed, sir. It was the happiest time
of the year. I'll always remember the way my father
would come into my room and say it's time. He'd
put me up on Father Christmas's knee, all the time
holding my hands so I wouldn't be frightened. Oh, you
shamed me, sir, I've been such an old scrooge. What
(34:59):
must you and as to William think of me? Then
you'll do it for an extra hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
H all right, here you go have aneezer merry Christmas?
Speaker 19 (35:07):
Up?
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Oh ho ho hello children? Well, well, who's going to
be the first? Yes? Hello, young man?
Speaker 28 (35:14):
Cut the small talk, jug head? Where have you been
making a sandwich?
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Excuse me?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Go, Easy Cadburry. Yeah, that's that's will low It's Ed Lowe's.
Speaker 28 (35:23):
Boy who stuck a corner on your butt, Tinker Bow.
I don't remember asking you what thing?
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Oh man? You need to respect your elders.
Speaker 28 (35:31):
Yeah, well respect this. You need to shut up and
write this stuff down. I don't want any mistakes like
last year.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
What why you impertinent?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Little easy Cadbury?
Speaker 16 (35:43):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I like where this is going.
Speaker 28 (35:45):
Oh first, I want to PlayStation two and I don't
want to hear a lot of crap about it being
too hard to punk you sant a clause for Pete's sake.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
If you can't.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Find one, make what man? Stuff right there?
Speaker 28 (36:01):
What's the matter your BRONI am I talking to first?
Maybe you need a secretary?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Well, We'll just be patient. Please, is other kids waiting?
Speaker 28 (36:10):
Hey, Peter Pan, why don't you and the lost boy here.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Take a house?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Nothing off my lap?
Speaker 5 (36:17):
What laugh?
Speaker 28 (36:18):
Your stomach's in the way, Oh dagy tonzo fun. You're
supposed to be writing this stuff down.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
Try to keep up.
Speaker 27 (36:28):
Oh, Santa has just the thing for you, young man,
a shiny leather belt.
Speaker 5 (36:34):
Yo.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Do first, not listening?
Speaker 29 (36:37):
I don't need a bell, you do right across your backside?
Speaker 28 (36:44):
Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?
Speaker 27 (36:48):
Santa Clause is bringing you some much needed discipline for Christmas,
and that goes for the rest of you on grateful
little monsters?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Oh dam whoa no too late? Here comes Eddie man.
Speaker 29 (37:02):
You are what sam Billy's going over here? Are you
the father of this unruly demon spawn? I'll tell you
what I want to know. Where do you get off
whooping my bowl? Who are you? Santa clser tony damn soprano?
That's what I want to know. Somebody needs to beat
some manners into this middle practice. Why don't you try
that on me? Poor John?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
With a lot of that fat suit, you can give
me a try their wide load.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
I'm not wearing a fat suit.
Speaker 29 (37:30):
Come out.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
All right, we're gonna try and stop him.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Oh that's a boy. He's some eggnogy spike.
Speaker 14 (37:39):
Don't ye, Hey, many Christmas, Jongle.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Merry Christmas, Billy five bucks on the fat guy you're on?
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Don't you run for me? Fancy boy, She's gonna make
it worse when I can't.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Good morning, it's a bike show on the radio. Gonna
share with all a cool video and song about.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Deer season and then the Deer at Home.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Comedy You deer Hunter Joe Denham go join us in
about twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
It makes sense out of all that. Right now, let's
see who's on the desk. You're red Hot, Hello, red Hot,
trying to cook.
Speaker 7 (38:45):
Merry Christmas. Happy Honeka, Happy holidays. And for our atheist
friends share you're going to hell?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Your call they sail Jamonbella.
Speaker 7 (38:57):
Here, excuse me while I googloo.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
They having good holidays?
Speaker 7 (39:02):
Do you care? Or are you just being polite?
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I'm just being ply there see how it's time that
it did work? Can wait out to murray even me?
Speaker 7 (39:11):
Hold on, I'll paging to you you murray here boy,
Bobby on, Joe, thank it out.
Speaker 6 (39:21):
With you, Thank you.
Speaker 12 (39:23):
Jump out.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, Murray, just checking in to see we got any
gigs lined up for the holidays.
Speaker 12 (39:30):
Well let me check. Uh, nope, you're totally open.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Really, Christmas nothing.
Speaker 12 (39:36):
That showbiz, babe. Hey, this time of year when people
want a jolly, fat guy with a tiny little pepper,
you're just not their first choice.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yeah, there's that holiday Joe Guy was waiting for.
Speaker 12 (39:46):
Doesn't seem like Christmas without.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
So what are you working on?
Speaker 12 (39:51):
We brainstorming the next Black Friday.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So what does that mean?
Speaker 12 (39:56):
Well, you know about Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving
and Cyber Monday, the only day of the year anybody
uses the word cyber. We're trying to come up with
themes for other holiday shopping promotions.
Speaker 7 (40:09):
Ah, such as Sabadoo Myron.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Who's that?
Speaker 12 (40:13):
It's not a who, it's a what. Sabadoo Maron is
Spanish for brown Saturday. It's a day especially for Hispanic shoppers.
Spanish speaking employees help non English speakers buy gifts for
the people on their list, or least, as they call it.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I don't know where is brown Saturday? Tad racist kimbo?
Speaker 12 (40:36):
If we like their race, how could that be racing?
We're also working on an evening promotion where we bring
in a Mexican improv team and they do bad comedy
sketches that don't really have an ending. It's called Sabado
Night Live.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Else.
Speaker 12 (40:55):
Yes, there's Yellow Sunday let Me.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Go Today just for Asian people.
Speaker 12 (41:00):
No, a day when all products that are yellow are
an extra twenty percent off. And by the way, now,
who sounds rape? We also have Pink Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Ah, just for guys.
Speaker 12 (41:12):
No, it's a Susan G. Coleman promotion. You are just
eat up with bigotry.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
You giving me much of go on here?
Speaker 12 (41:20):
Hey, I've also got a promotion for convenience stores where
they bring in people who are fluent in English, but
their pronunciation makes it hard to figure out what they're saying.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Now, what's that one called regular business album?
Speaker 12 (41:33):
Okay, that one may be a bad race. Oh oh,
I do have a client that might want to book
you for a Valentine's Day promotion. Oh yeah, yeah. Two questions,
have you ever shot a bow and arrow? And what
size adult diaper do you wear?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
I doing that one?
Speaker 12 (41:51):
Shoot yourself, mister Olivier. Hold I'm a bigger name. On
the other line, Hell tell Porsche, I'll call her right back.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Porsia. Is that the porscha that's married to Ellen DeGeneres.
Speaker 12 (42:03):
No, this is a Porsha that sells cars. I'm trying
to book an appointment for an oil chance, do you machine?
Call my machine and give my Bobby.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
That's Bailly him too, and.
Speaker 12 (42:13):
Jimbo what call me?
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Good morning?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
You got the big show on the radio. More chances
you to win coming up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Mama.
Speaker 11 (42:26):
All I wanted to do was have a let us
sandwich on gluten bread, a tall glass of buttermilk, and
crawl under a bearskin rug. Why do I have to
listen to that John Boyd person and Billy whoever.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
On that noisy big shoe button?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Mama, Good morning, it's a make showing. The radio comedian
(43:19):
dear Hunter Joe Dunham joins us.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
In minutes. It all makes sense.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
He got the video and everything we tell you about
you do it less than thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Oh there, kind of get you in a spirit.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
This works out great because some of these fake Christmas
songs we got, we get requests for them.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yeah, they're playing them all these years, so we owe
you at least one plague. What do you mean fake? Well,
real Christmas songs are just parodies. Uh well, sing along
then if you know the words.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
There right.
Speaker 21 (44:00):
I came aupon a road killed you A sorrowful sight
to behold.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
He lay upon the high raised, his body was stiff
and cold.
Speaker 7 (44:25):
I bad.
Speaker 21 (44:27):
He never saw the car careening through the snow.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
The light shone broadly his eyes, and then they laid
him lowd I came a mon a road killed.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
Him and lifted him.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
Will him joy.
Speaker 8 (45:11):
Snus feast of bad the slowby.
Speaker 7 (45:17):
Joy, be care for.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Those grad Will this there really get stuck in your cheek?
Will please?
Speaker 8 (45:34):
The adler strong his head upon.
Speaker 5 (45:41):
A read.
Speaker 8 (45:54):
County s sit Aca is old to bring gache.
Speaker 5 (46:10):
As bud the so
Good morning. You got the Big Joe on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
More chances for the wind coming up after your news
weathers Mart.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Yeah, this is your old pals.
Speaker 4 (00:12):
You stand La Black when I'm not mooching some of
that fine Jacques Danielle Whiskey and I play the right
fine gumbo off my best friend Woodrow Boodrow and that
sassy sack of wife and he is on Lizbeth. I'm
listening to those tool wacky Cajun John Boy and Philly
right there on that they're.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Big Shoe Woe. There's funny I Guary on Pete.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
We're rocking into December to twelfth here in the Big
Show on the radio. Gary Ho Ho Hoy rocking some
Hey nuts Christmas music there.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
He's very popular. It's music we listen to.
Speaker 5 (01:32):
It's just anoy.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Remind you to get set up.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
You might win that autograph ender guitar Gary gives away
every Christmas.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Garyhoha dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Where will you make your day to visit to the
Big Show dot com and I featured track of the
day Jo Boys chronic Lyricosist Christmas TV special. Oh yeah, alright,
then they come a few nights days. Excuse me National
Ambrosia Day. Yeah, that's a salad right.
Speaker 6 (02:06):
Well, kind of cold technically is called a salad, but
it's like fruit stuff.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
National Dingling Day, My dang a ling want of Juck
Barry's biggest his bless his heart, about half invented rock
and roll. He knows for his dingling. Actually dinglings on
this today called the people that hadn't heard from in
a while.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
You like, give them a dingling. Okay, Gingerbread House Day.
We'll get Marty in the judge some later. We always
used to you know him who.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Would judge the gingerbread houses at the Grove Park in
John Boy Billy comedy classes.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I remember very prestigials. Yes, in that picture when he
looked like he's coming out of the closet. That's just
what am I going to do about it? I like it?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
National point set of Day, and I learned, do not
eat these Christmas.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Flowers you or your dog? Yeah, keep them away from
dogs and I don't. Little cats catch.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
Are more likely to eat your house plants than your dog.
But it starts are smarter, you know that's why.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Well, happy points of today. Don't eat them?
Speaker 7 (03:14):
Right?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Three days and this are saved up.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
We got our first prize pack out and get the
winning beginning for this December the twelfth, Big Shows on
the Radio.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
All right, look at our first prize pack today headed
toward Christmas time and a sworm of the small batch
hand cooked peanuts from bird Tea County Peanuts, Southern tradition
for over one hundred years. We want you to get
to know our boys in Eastern Carolina where I grow
peanuts like nobody else. If you enter code JB be
(03:47):
a checkout, you get twenty five percent off and we're
talking about you and you can do everybody on your
Christmas gift list. Still time to do family, friends, clients.
You got the business. They'll be talking about you for
a while. So inter coach j abb at checkout twenty
five percent off plus free shipping. Click on the link
Bertie County Peanuts dot net. They're going to win you
(04:07):
at the Big Show dot com and that'll work right now.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Let's get you set up to win it.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Three dates in history where we'll get our category all right.
December twelfth, eighteen ninety nine, the US Patent Office issued
patent number to George F. Grant Boston for his invention
of the golf tea. Before that, golfers placed a ball
on a small mound of dirt.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Called a tee. You have to make your own small
mount of dirt we have there on the I bet
the golf courses love that.
Speaker 5 (04:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
That was eighteen ninety nine. Where we goes George.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Nineteen twenty five the world's first motel open in Saint
Luis Obispo, California.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
It was called the motel End.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Finally, on this date in forty six, after twenty years
of research, Cincinnati's Proctering Gamble introduced Tide, the detergent, with
a complex chemical compound that actually pulled oil and grease
out of clothes, and the solved that wise.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Wide eye here.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Gurgled with some Oh man, was I finished?
Speaker 8 (05:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Kind of?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Oh so no, I got four more hours of this job.
So tied Tide, Yeah, detergent. Think about that?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
All right?
Speaker 7 (05:25):
There you go?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Where's there? Three categories? One ain't on the Biggeshow you
don't free lit? You said, we'll get the winning beginning.
(05:56):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It's to make sure on the radio to do your Thursday,
December the twelve, with our featured track from the Big
Show bed Box A musk for your John Mobilly Christmas album.
John Moy's chronic Lyricosis Christmas TV specialal hear those chipmunks
roasting on an open fire with key your Words Christmas
TV The MT I fin.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
Upburst. Let's play Outburst. That's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
John Boys and Billy.
Speaker 9 (06:31):
He gave the prizes from the Big Prize be Let's
go contested number one.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
You're playing Outburst.
Speaker 9 (06:44):
Have a hurry up and guest, time you love the
best time you love a big shots.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Let's say, heard a Rusty from Bristow Wild and Yard.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
We have shots.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Good morning, rust Day, Hey, good morning they After twenty
years of calling in, I probably got into you and
I've been lucky twice in a year. No, I hate
you Rusday. Do we owe you move or do we
take care of that? In your first time?
Speaker 10 (07:21):
You took care of that?
Speaker 3 (07:22):
Oh right, I love you here?
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Oh no, I'm sorry? Oh no, is the only one move?
Oh no, only one?
Speaker 10 (07:31):
Only one?
Speaker 11 (07:32):
Okay, it's nearly got one hand fighting the other hand.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
The resident. We're glad you didn't here.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
By let's get you through these three categories and get
you those bird Tea County peanuts.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
You ready, yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Five seconds? Give us three sports that use a T.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Ready go.
Speaker 10 (07:56):
Football, no ball, golf and kids tea ball?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
All right, well you were ready for the old T thing.
Mindy tell you that little googer joke when I was
going through the drive through wait sports my live anyway
and I coached bow and anyway. Well, let's well, let's
say how many motels you've been to? We need three
of them? Ready, go.
Speaker 10 (08:19):
A motel Chick Chick ray red riffion.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
No, right, there.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
A lot of motels in my live, like yeah, after
each category.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Hell, you did it.
Speaker 12 (08:37):
That.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Let's uh, well, let's see if you spend their time
in laundry. Give us three closed detrotions. I'll try three
closed three clo.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yes, you know what's coming.
Speaker 10 (08:52):
Now? You said five seconds.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
I was trying to hurry. Oh yeah, there's nine the clock. Yeah,
three detertions, okay, start five now go all right, ted
tear game.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I got that, and now we're Worthey Brti County Peanuts
priest package to Rusty from Bristol.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I love you all, love.
Speaker 10 (09:16):
You, chris My mornings every day. Boomer, Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
All right, now it is your news right on the
other side of this report. You know what we do
early Thursday time capsule, Get us a lot.
Speaker 13 (10:11):
This is the award winning Jah Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export. Nobody covers weather like the
Weather Channel, the satellite maps, the live reports, and everyone's favorite,
(10:33):
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Speaker 14 (11:39):
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Speaker 15 (11:46):
John William Dilly Dad, I've never seen you so happy?
Does this have something to do with the naked lady
you were.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
In bed with morning radio.
Speaker 15 (11:55):
Done right, Good morning.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
That's a big show on the radio, about twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Away from a married man Christmas.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Right now, it's time for an American minute with Tank Hogard.
Speaker 16 (12:36):
Thanks Red, Hey America, Tank Hogarth, there got a minute.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
You know.
Speaker 16 (12:42):
I thought, with the country taking a new direction, our
beloved star spangled Republic could pull out of this national nose,
dive into the abyss at intolerance and ignorance, and ascend
to the red, white and blue righteousness we used to know.
There's just one little obstacle to hurdle, one more bump
in the road to navigate, one more partially moist dog log,
(13:05):
to scrape off the shoe of hope and change, to
make America great again. That's right, the holidays. So zip
your yapper and plant that wide load for two shakes,
and there's a real possibility that maybe, just maybe you'll
go away a little bit smarter, which, judging from some
of you dim bulbs, is a real damn stretch. Afterwards,
(13:28):
you can write your complaints on a card, roll it
into a ball, and stick it up your dumper. There's
a nice spot right to the left next to your head. Well, kitties,
it's that time of year again, Christmas, the Yule Tide,
a time for marshmallow dreams and kids high pitched screams.
(13:49):
Remember the good old days when the ho ho hose
used to come from the north pole instead of the
Kardashian family tree, When everybody love going to the manger
to see maybe Jesus instead of giving automatic citizenship to Babyjesus.
When cities went all out decorating the streets with millions
of lights because no one had started a cry and
(14:12):
a fit about global warming yet, and there was so
much by God tinsel that you were picking it out
of the dog's crap till June, and everyone was saying
Merry Christmas instead of Hey, jackass, I saw that flat
screen TV first, and if you want to go home
with all your damn teeth, you'll step off. I don't know.
(14:35):
Maybe I'm living in the past. Maybe I'm not with
this new scene man. Maybe I think stocking should be
hung by the chimney with care instead of hung next
to your boyfriend's pantyhose in the shower, next to his
loofah sponge and his shower crocs. But I'll tell you
this much. If your butt pucker's when somebody says Merry Christmas,
and you should probably stock your advent calendar with XANDIX.
(15:00):
What the hell have you done to Christmas America? Christmas
in America used to be a time to look forward to.
You couldn't wait until Thanksgiving because you knew the very
next day the stores would reopen, glistening and glittering with
all that seasonal do dads and geegaws that made you
want to buy some new rabbit ears for the old
black and white idiot bucks so you could clearly see
(15:22):
all the gin blossoms on Bing Crosby's nose. Now you
can barely get to the Freddy Krueger mask and rubber
guts because of all the cheap led made in China
Christmas lights in the way. And if there's anything worse
than those godless heathens, there's another dingleberry hanging on the
old Bacchanalia butt hair. Come on, you know who I'm
(15:44):
talking about? Those smug snootye no it alls to spend
their time telling you how smart they are and how
stupid you are. I'm talking about the atheists, Their sole
purpose in life is to be pissed off that you
dare believe in something they don't. And I'll be damned
if I can understand how me saying Merry Christmas is
(16:05):
enough to send them screaming on tippy toes to the
legal system like some panny waste. I will offer a
disclaimer the aforementioned jerks on all intolerant America, hating, judgmental,
pushy cornhole sniffers, just most of them. Look, they're entitled
to their opinions, but that's all they're entitled to. These
people will represent a fraction of the citizen of this
(16:26):
great country. But every time we bow and scrape and
call Christmas vacation a winter holiday and dismantle some Nativity
scene because it's some sort of trigger, the USA dies
a little bit inside, which reminds me of a poem
my father used to read the name jingle Bells Batman
Smells Robin was killed by the joker. If you say
(16:51):
Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, I'm gonna beat you
with a fireplace poker. Oh dear, look at the time,
I've overstayed my welcome once again. Tough crap, and you're
welcome until next time. This is thank ho gard.
Speaker 17 (17:11):
Stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Good morning, you got a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
More chances for you to win coming up after your
news weathers parts.
Speaker 18 (17:34):
I stand on the hill, but not for a thrill,
for the breath of a fresh keel. And never mind
the man who contemplates doing away with license plates. He
stands alone anyhow, Bacon the cookies of discontent by the
heat of the londermnvent leaving his soul and then like
(17:59):
in portr Ragle dot dot dot, you know, kind of
host set.
Speaker 19 (18:02):
Up leaving a soul hearten the waters of the Medulla
oblong gy with John Boy and Billy on the big
show like that one, John Boy, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Good morning. It's will make Shaw on the radio. It's
a wonderful life.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
It's a married man. Christmas in minutes right now? Is they?
What's happening to A JD's.
Speaker 20 (19:03):
Oh howdy friends, it's been a while because I've been
sigger than Hillary Clinton's by weekly got of colleges.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
You can just feel the life dream right out of
you now here.
Speaker 20 (19:16):
It turns out old JD has a bad case of
the diabetes. And I still ain't found that swamp scank
up knob holler, what give it to me? Anyway? Christmas
is a running right up, you britches, leg and right
here at JD's twenty four hour drive through ponting on
auto parts pharmaceutical don't give bait and tackle discount cigarette
out like we're catering to you fellers. What still ain't
got no more shopping done than a flat broke midget
with a busted transmission.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I can't get it out of first year.
Speaker 20 (19:36):
So from now until Christmas Eve, it's the JD's Procrastination liquidation,
sell and if and you first think all the good
stuff has gonne plumb.
Speaker 15 (19:42):
Off the shelves.
Speaker 20 (19:45):
This year JD's is fully stocked with high quality merchandise
that even your severely bipolar brother in law will enjoy
until his next bout of chronic depression. Oh God, and
Trims I cansact now get four free passes to the
Traveling Baked Beans and fried Tator's Traveling Museum. Redeem a
until twenty twenty five, or the Bills win the Super Bowl,
whichever comes first.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
You've going over the cheers of the crowd. You can
hear the Buffalo Bills choking.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
On the sidelines as they lose their fourth consecutive Super Bowl.
Speaker 5 (20:13):
But wait, friends, there's more.
Speaker 20 (20:15):
Don't be left out in the damn cold this Saturday
night at our Yazoo City, Mississippi location for an evening
of full metal jacket holiday cheer. Sergeant Hartman will be
there to do all out complimentary ass kickens to anybody
man enough to challenge his love for all of God's
children waiting for you, You little burger and friends. Visit
any JD's location and donate an off brand cannamackerel and
be automatically registered to win tickets to Howard the Town
Drunk on Ice, a tribute to Pepper Mitch snucks HiT's
(20:37):
the JD Procrastination Liquidation Cell.
Speaker 21 (20:40):
Oh yeah, so come on.
Speaker 20 (20:41):
Down and bring the wife, the kids, and even that
toothless skunkcape. You've been fooling around with them. Find better
deals than a Michael Vick prison sens. Come visit our
new location in Farmersville, Kentucky, across from Chisel Chuck Carner's
Infant Clothing outlet and drive through sobriety checkpoint.
Speaker 22 (20:53):
Good today, Dady Dade, Why aside, boy?
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Good morning?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Got the big show on the radio. Coming up, we
played John Boyd Jeopardy for a Happy Herd prize. Pag
hev you heard makes top quality attractings, minerals and feed
for deer, bear and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd,
you better hope your neighbors aren't really going to Happy
Herd Banter The Big Show dot Com. You interercoche JBB
you'll get tim percent off. Check out hang onna play
(21:25):
for it. Ten minutes the first of Christmas classic.
Speaker 23 (21:36):
My Readmind, My Readman Drive, surrounding a minivan, God, my
wife and some kids. His whole life's on the skids.
Hey there it goes to My read Man housey Field. Listen, dude,
this part, guys.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Really screwed hanging on. Buy a thread, cord of milk,
loaf of bread.
Speaker 23 (22:00):
There goes the married man, got a big gas grow, buys.
Speaker 9 (22:06):
His clothes at the gap, and he's just about had
enough for this car.
Speaker 23 (22:13):
Married man, marry man, friendly neighborhood, married man.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Hie for him, has nothing life.
Speaker 9 (22:20):
I'll let him do what she says.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
It's about time he grew up. There's a screw you
don't find the married man.
Speaker 14 (22:31):
Our story opens on a cold, cloudy Christmas Eve, the
winter wind whips around a small bridge over a dark
and icy river. Our hero married man sits atop the
guardrail with his Powell College buddy.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I can't believe your mini van ran out of gas.
Speaker 14 (22:47):
I told you the wife had some last minute errands
to run. She must have just forgotten to go by
the service stack.
Speaker 16 (22:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Yeah, all I know is should have laughing it up
in the office Christmas party at the country club. We're
sitting here waiting for somebody to bring us a care
a gas. Of course, it could be worse. At least
this didn't turn out to be another parody of it.
It's a wonderful life. I don't know what you mean.
You know, it's a wonderful life. Jimmy Stewart's getting ready
to kill himself. Clarencey Angel comes by, shows him what
(23:13):
his life would be like if he never was born.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Huh, Well that's not me.
Speaker 14 (23:17):
I mean, let me tell you something, college buddy, I
already have a wonderful life.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Oh well, excuse me just a minute.
Speaker 14 (23:26):
Hello, hi, honey, what you need me to pick up
a can of cranberry sauce for Christmas dinner? And you
called the country club. They said I wasn't there, and
you were wondering where I was. Well, the mini van
kind of ran out of gas, and college buddy called
a friend of his. He's bringing us some What why
(23:49):
was the line busy when you called just a moment ago? Well,
probably because I let college buddy use my phone to
call his friend. Yes, I know, we only get so
much minutes a month. This was kind of an emergency. Honey,
how did it happen?
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Well?
Speaker 14 (24:05):
I think you may have forgotten to fill up the
tank when you were out yesterday. No, I think you
were the last one to drive, don't you remember? But well,
well you may be right. Yes, it's probably my fault. Yeah,
he's on his way right now. I'm not really sure. Yeah,
(24:26):
I could ask you how long will it take your
friend to get here? About fifteen more minutes? Probably about
fifteen more minutes or so, honey, Yes, I'll call you
when he gets here.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Okay, bye? Sorry, So what were we talking about. It's
a wonderful line. Oh yeah, So Jimmy Stewart.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Was in that huh yeah, he say he was ready
to commit suicide because.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Excuse me again?
Speaker 14 (24:50):
Hello, yes, dear, No, dear, I won't forget the can
of cranberry sauce.
Speaker 15 (24:56):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
What's that?
Speaker 14 (24:58):
Mother Fletcher is in town and she's going to be
spending the whole week with us. Well, yes, that is
great news. I'll tell her I look forward to seeing her. Okay, goodbye.
So Jimmy Stewart was.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Yeah, Jimmy Stewart was damn hello, Yes, honey, what's that?
Speaker 14 (25:19):
Mother Fletcher wants to know if college buddy's friend could
stop by a convenience store and pick up what. I
don't know if Reesu's makes peanut butter Christmas reads.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
She's sure she.
Speaker 14 (25:31):
Saw them last year. Well, I guess I could check
into that. Okay, No, college buddy's friend. He really hasn't
had time to get here yet. Han, Yes, i'll call
you soon. Goodbye. So suicide huh.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, he got this idea that, Hey, married man, you're
not thinking of jumping off this bridge, are you?
Speaker 1 (25:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 14 (25:55):
Sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels here.
You know, every moment of my life is laid off
for me. She never stopped every hour of every day.
It's always something. Sometimes I feel like I'm.
Speaker 24 (26:06):
Gonna Hey, guys, I got your gas right here.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Hey, Randy, boy, we're starting to wonder if you were
gonna show up married man's wife's worried sick.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yeah, I'm sorry it took so long.
Speaker 25 (26:19):
I had to finish up my annual two hour Merry
Christmas Darling tape to my wife, and all the way
over here I realized, I, well, I'd already gotten the
mystery gift lined up, but I didn't have anything in
case she picked the standard gift.
Speaker 24 (26:31):
Now, granted she never picks the standard gift. But what
am I gonna do if I get caught by surprise?
You know, I remember Christmas in eighty seven. That's when
I hey, hey guys, Hey married man, Hey, hey, what
are you guys doing?
Speaker 5 (26:43):
Put me down.
Speaker 24 (27:00):
Better?
Speaker 14 (27:00):
Well, you know that's the magic of the holiday season.
No matter how little you have, some people have even less.
You know, college buddy, it may not be a wonderful life,
but it could always be worse. From all of us,
have to all of you now, best wishes for a
happy and blessed holiday season.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Man, look at this, Randy sure have a lot of
stuff in his car. Hey, Reece's peanut butter reads. I
didn't know they still made these.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Hey, I'll split us with you.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
You're own, big man.
Speaker 17 (27:31):
You don't find the money?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
No Ah, Well, let's play John Boy Jeopardy. Yesterday's question.
We found out every language on earth is got a
cowgoing move, you know, cuckoo going cuckoo. But we found
out dogs have different languages China wang wang, Greece gab, gab,
(27:53):
Ukrainians off off just bow wow over here. Okay, those
are dogs? Yes as what today is John Boy Jeopardy.
During his mission to chart the coast of South America,
Charles Darwin also reported the discovery of more than fifteen
hundred new animal species. But he didn't just observe and
(28:15):
report on the animals he found. He often would also
do this to him and wrote about that as well.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
What does take them on long walks? Whatever that is?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
No, Charles ain't gonna do that. What y'all got one
eight hundred big show you told freelane across America?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
We played John boyd Jeopardy.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Next Good Thursday Morning, It is the Big Show on
(29:07):
the radio. Today's feature track from The Big Show bed Box,
John Boy's chronic Lyricosis Christmas TV specials.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
There's for keywords Christmas TV.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Get to know yourself with the bit box at the
Big show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
There right now.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Well that's why yehs live across America.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
It's John Boy Jumper and now your host.
Speaker 6 (29:30):
Before beating chronic lyricosis, he was addicted to the hoky oki,
but he managed to put his whole self in and
turn himself about. He's John Boy and that.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
There's a hay to Josh out of Elizabethan, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Good morning, Josh, Good morning, John Boy. Hello Boddy, how
are you today?
Speaker 10 (29:56):
I'm doing all right?
Speaker 1 (29:58):
All right? Sounds like in a big old old rum,
I like.
Speaker 10 (30:04):
Speaker.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
That's all good.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Josh, Well you got first shot at John Boy jepardy,
however you relay it to us. So, during his mission
to chart the coast of South America, Charles Darwin reported
the discovery more than fifteen hundred new animal species. But
he didn't just observe and the report on the animals
he found. He often would also do this to him
and wrote about that as well, What did old Darwin
(30:29):
do there?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Josh them? He would eat them. Let's say you, old Charles,
I like you. Yep, he was voids.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
The HMS beagle was so he wrote about eating armadillos,
which he said taste and look like duck. You know
we call those here, you know, uh, posamon, a halfshell,
a twenty pound guinea pig like rodent that he said
was the best meat I ever tasted. I'm gonna figure
(31:10):
out what that is. A puma, which he thought tasted
like veal the names.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Just a few.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
While on the Galoppolis Islands, Darwin reported eating iguana, lots
of birds, and many of the giant tortoises.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
In fact, they were leaving the Galoppolos Islands, they rounded
up about fifty of those giant tortoises and had a
big party on the boat.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I've did it good and no recipes.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Did eat anything like that?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Well, Josh, you just want you bunch of hay heard you.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Can call up some good tasting animals with that, buddy,
good luck?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
All right, thank you, John boy very much. All right,
my boy, hang on, all right, here's a plan.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
We're gonna jump out and catch you up on on
your news, catburry fun and Christmas time riding on the
other side.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
We call our agent Murray.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Listen twenty minute, Thursday morning, December the twelfth, Big shows
(32:47):
on the radio heading toward Christmas time.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Come on, cad Bury, everybody's waiting. What's taking so long?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
This red suit makes me look fat, so.
Speaker 26 (32:57):
You're supposed to look fat, cat Bear, your Santa Claus
boy stomach padding looks real.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I'm not wearing the stomach paddings.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
You're right, cat Berry, it does make you look fat.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I'm going home, so hey, at least.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
You're not dressed up like an alf like me and Billy.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Stupid hat, gooby looking pants, funky shoes.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yes, it's a very becoming outfits.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
H Well, I left that at home. These are my
regular clothes.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Perhaps you should come with me.
Speaker 26 (33:21):
So come on, Barry, can't just point all these kids
are killed on us, your Santa Claus.
Speaker 27 (33:26):
Oh, sir, I fear I just don't fit the Santa
Claus mold.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
I don't get on well with children.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
You kidding My kids, Billy's kids, they love you, man,
they love it when.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
You babysit them.
Speaker 27 (33:37):
That's because they torture me, sir, really unmercifles.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Well, why didn't you ever say anything?
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Well, I believe the phrase is I need the gigs.
Speaker 14 (33:50):
Hey, mister French, what's a hold up? These nerve racking
brats are turning into a mob here. Hey, nice fat suit.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
That's it. Good nights.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Wait to go, Billy.
Speaker 14 (33:58):
Hey, at least you're not dressed like an elf tried down.
Speaker 27 (34:01):
Now, if you excuse me, sirs, I'd like to change
out of my fat suit.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Oh boy, Johnny, you gotta do something. We're about to
have a melt down here.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
All right, Cadbury, gonna go, But first I want you
to look at those faces.
Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yes, sir, I've seen better heads on boils.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Don't come on, Cadbury, look at him. Remember how you
felt when you were a kid.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
It's too late, sir. My hot strings are untuggable.
Speaker 26 (34:25):
Remember back when you were just a little Cadbury, the excitement,
the anticipation, trying to decide what you wanted for Christmas,
and just waiting for the day you got the chance
to line up to see Santa Claus.
Speaker 27 (34:37):
Yes I do, indeed, sir. It was the happiest time
of the year. I'll always remember the way my father
would come into my room and say it's time. He'd
put me up on Father Christmas's knee, all the time
holding my hands so I wouldn't be frightened. Oh, you
shamed me, sir, I've been such an old scrooge. What
(34:59):
must you and as to William think of me? Then
you'll do it for an extra hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
H all right, here you go have aneezer merry Christmas?
Speaker 19 (35:07):
Up?
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Oh ho ho hello children? Well, well, who's going to
be the first? Yes? Hello, young man?
Speaker 28 (35:14):
Cut the small talk, jug head? Where have you been
making a sandwich?
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Excuse me?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Go, Easy Cadburry. Yeah, that's that's will low It's Ed Lowe's.
Speaker 28 (35:23):
Boy who stuck a corner on your butt, Tinker Bow.
I don't remember asking you what thing?
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Oh man? You need to respect your elders.
Speaker 28 (35:31):
Yeah, well respect this. You need to shut up and
write this stuff down. I don't want any mistakes like
last year.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
What why you impertinent?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Little easy Cadbury?
Speaker 16 (35:43):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
I like where this is going.
Speaker 28 (35:45):
Oh first, I want to PlayStation two and I don't
want to hear a lot of crap about it being
too hard to punk you sant a clause for Pete's sake.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
If you can't.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Find one, make what man? Stuff right there?
Speaker 28 (36:01):
What's the matter your BRONI am I talking to first?
Maybe you need a secretary?
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Well, We'll just be patient. Please, is other kids waiting?
Speaker 28 (36:10):
Hey, Peter Pan, why don't you and the lost boy here.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Take a house?
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Nothing off my lap?
Speaker 5 (36:17):
What laugh?
Speaker 28 (36:18):
Your stomach's in the way, Oh dagy tonzo fun. You're
supposed to be writing this stuff down.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
Try to keep up.
Speaker 27 (36:28):
Oh, Santa has just the thing for you, young man,
a shiny leather belt.
Speaker 5 (36:34):
Yo.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Do first, not listening?
Speaker 29 (36:37):
I don't need a bell, you do right across your backside?
Speaker 28 (36:44):
Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?
Speaker 27 (36:48):
Santa Clause is bringing you some much needed discipline for Christmas,
and that goes for the rest of you on grateful
little monsters?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Oh dam whoa no too late? Here comes Eddie man.
Speaker 29 (37:02):
You are what sam Billy's going over here? Are you
the father of this unruly demon spawn? I'll tell you
what I want to know. Where do you get off
whooping my bowl? Who are you? Santa clser tony damn soprano?
That's what I want to know. Somebody needs to beat
some manners into this middle practice. Why don't you try
that on me? Poor John?
Speaker 1 (37:21):
With a lot of that fat suit, you can give
me a try their wide load.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
I'm not wearing a fat suit.
Speaker 29 (37:30):
Come out.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
All right, we're gonna try and stop him.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Oh that's a boy. He's some eggnogy spike.
Speaker 14 (37:39):
Don't ye, Hey, many Christmas, Jongle.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Merry Christmas, Billy five bucks on the fat guy you're on?
Speaker 3 (37:48):
Don't you run for me? Fancy boy, She's gonna make
it worse when I can't.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Good morning, it's a bike show on the radio. Gonna
share with all a cool video and song about.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
Deer season and then the Deer at Home.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Comedy You deer Hunter Joe Denham go join us in
about twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
It makes sense out of all that. Right now, let's
see who's on the desk. You're red Hot, Hello, red Hot,
trying to cook.
Speaker 7 (38:45):
Merry Christmas. Happy Honeka, Happy holidays. And for our atheist
friends share you're going to hell?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Your call they sail Jamonbella.
Speaker 7 (38:57):
Here, excuse me while I googloo.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
They having good holidays?
Speaker 7 (39:02):
Do you care? Or are you just being polite?
Speaker 1 (39:05):
I'm just being ply there see how it's time that
it did work? Can wait out to murray even me?
Speaker 7 (39:11):
Hold on, I'll paging to you you murray here boy,
Bobby on, Joe, thank it out.
Speaker 6 (39:21):
With you, Thank you.
Speaker 12 (39:23):
Jump out.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, Murray, just checking in to see we got any
gigs lined up for the holidays.
Speaker 12 (39:30):
Well let me check. Uh, nope, you're totally open.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Really, Christmas nothing.
Speaker 12 (39:36):
That showbiz, babe. Hey, this time of year when people
want a jolly, fat guy with a tiny little pepper,
you're just not their first choice.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yeah, there's that holiday Joe Guy was waiting for.
Speaker 12 (39:46):
Doesn't seem like Christmas without.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
So what are you working on?
Speaker 12 (39:51):
We brainstorming the next Black Friday.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So what does that mean?
Speaker 12 (39:56):
Well, you know about Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving
and Cyber Monday, the only day of the year anybody
uses the word cyber. We're trying to come up with
themes for other holiday shopping promotions.
Speaker 7 (40:09):
Ah, such as Sabadoo Myron.
Speaker 1 (40:12):
Who's that?
Speaker 12 (40:13):
It's not a who, it's a what. Sabadoo Maron is
Spanish for brown Saturday. It's a day especially for Hispanic shoppers.
Spanish speaking employees help non English speakers buy gifts for
the people on their list, or least, as they call it.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
I don't know where is brown Saturday? Tad racist kimbo?
Speaker 12 (40:36):
If we like their race, how could that be racing?
We're also working on an evening promotion where we bring
in a Mexican improv team and they do bad comedy
sketches that don't really have an ending. It's called Sabado
Night Live.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Else.
Speaker 12 (40:55):
Yes, there's Yellow Sunday let Me.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Go Today just for Asian people.
Speaker 12 (41:00):
No, a day when all products that are yellow are
an extra twenty percent off. And by the way, now,
who sounds rape? We also have Pink Tuesday.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Ah, just for guys.
Speaker 12 (41:12):
No, it's a Susan G. Coleman promotion. You are just
eat up with bigotry.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
You giving me much of go on here?
Speaker 12 (41:20):
Hey, I've also got a promotion for convenience stores where
they bring in people who are fluent in English, but
their pronunciation makes it hard to figure out what they're saying.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Now, what's that one called regular business album?
Speaker 12 (41:33):
Okay, that one may be a bad race. Oh oh,
I do have a client that might want to book
you for a Valentine's Day promotion. Oh yeah, yeah. Two questions,
have you ever shot a bow and arrow? And what
size adult diaper do you wear?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
I doing that one?
Speaker 12 (41:51):
Shoot yourself, mister Olivier. Hold I'm a bigger name. On
the other line, Hell tell Porsche, I'll call her right back.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Porsia. Is that the porscha that's married to Ellen DeGeneres.
Speaker 12 (42:03):
No, this is a Porsha that sells cars. I'm trying
to book an appointment for an oil chance, do you machine?
Call my machine and give my Bobby.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
That's Bailly him too, and.
Speaker 12 (42:13):
Jimbo what call me?
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Good morning?
Speaker 2 (42:18):
You got the big show on the radio. More chances
you to win coming up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 3 (42:24):
Mama.
Speaker 11 (42:26):
All I wanted to do was have a let us
sandwich on gluten bread, a tall glass of buttermilk, and
crawl under a bearskin rug. Why do I have to
listen to that John Boyd person and Billy whoever.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
On that noisy big shoe button?
Speaker 2 (42:42):
Mama, Good morning, it's a make showing. The radio comedian
(43:19):
dear Hunter Joe Dunham joins us.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
In minutes. It all makes sense.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
He got the video and everything we tell you about
you do it less than thirty minutes.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Oh there, kind of get you in a spirit.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
This works out great because some of these fake Christmas
songs we got, we get requests for them.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yeah, they're playing them all these years, so we owe
you at least one plague. What do you mean fake? Well,
real Christmas songs are just parodies. Uh well, sing along
then if you know the words.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
There right.
Speaker 21 (44:00):
I came aupon a road killed you A sorrowful sight
to behold.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
He lay upon the high raised, his body was stiff
and cold.
Speaker 7 (44:25):
I bad.
Speaker 21 (44:27):
He never saw the car careening through the snow.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
The light shone broadly his eyes, and then they laid
him lowd I came a mon a road killed.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
Him and lifted him.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
Will him joy.
Speaker 8 (45:11):
Snus feast of bad the slowby.
Speaker 7 (45:17):
Joy, be care for.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Those grad Will this there really get stuck in your cheek?
Will please?
Speaker 8 (45:34):
The adler strong his head upon.
Speaker 5 (45:41):
A read.
Speaker 8 (45:54):
County s sit Aca is old to bring gache.
Speaker 5 (46:10):
As bud the so
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