May 1, 2025 • 51 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, The Mayor of Dismal Seepage checks in with the details on their big Greek Festival.. - Mad Max has a lot of problems with having turned 60.. - Oliver has some examples of why learning English is so hard.. - Doug Rice is back with the details on the two drivers who were disqualified last weekend at Talladega - and a look ahead to this weekend's race at Texas Motor Speedway.. - We’ll replay a visit from Comedian Ritch Shydner discussing the movie “Titanic”.. - Gary Busey jott, another entry into his diary - this time pontificating on why he hates doctors.. - and will wrap up with the Not Ready For Drive Time Players as they take on the script - “A Mexican Walks Into A Toys "R" Us…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
That money y'all Big Show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hello a you perky early risers. Here's just the thing
to wake you up and get your blood pumping, the
John Boy and Billy Big Show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the walls just like me. Ooh
(00:27):
whah uh uh oh.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
See what I mean I can do to do? Loving
(01:09):
at them saying good morning to Thursday. It is the
first day of May. It is May Day. Hello, everybody,
happen may Day?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Why not?
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Sound like graded from sampon? So I don't know, I'm
about May Day?
Speaker 5 (01:36):
Can you do it?
Speaker 6 (01:36):
Really?
Speaker 7 (01:36):
Well?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Where's that may poll by?
Speaker 8 (01:39):
Here?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
About? Oh right, there's something to do with comedies, I
think too, right, May may Day? Is that right? Anybody
familiar with the Communist manifesto? Wow, I pull up California.
Speaker 9 (01:57):
That's what I had to do with the pole, That's
all I thought.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Day dance around a pole or something. Maybe it was
a Polish person.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It was celebrating spring out there.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
The commedies were attagging Poland at one time, wasn't it
in Russian Poland? Not getting long?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I go with that. You obviously don't want the truth.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
No you can't. I know it's National loyal To today,
so you concentrate on you'll be loyal. Okay. It's National
Chocolate parfait Day, right, A good deal. I love you.
You pick him up, but you're shopping the hairsteata. Do
you ever get my hair statter? They having a little
parfas already made up? Yeah, I get you one in
(02:37):
par faith. I like a pudding parfit. National Skilled Trades Day,
that would be nice. I don't have one. No National
Interpreter Appreciation Day. Yeah, I know, my bark. It's National
Mother Goose Day. But Mother Goose she'll she'll rhyme or
(03:01):
a story. Okay, three three days in history, yea, we're
moving on. Then three days in history left. We'll get
the winning beginning. We're awake. Big shows on the radio.
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. Get the first prize.
Pack out one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull
Snot cleaning products made in the USA. Truck drivers keep
(03:23):
America moving, the bull snot make sure they look good
doing it. You find bull Snout a truck stops across
America and download the Bullsnot app when you need to
click on the banner at the Big Show dot Com.
Listen right here, we'll get three categories out of our
three dates in history, and you can win it. It
was nineteen forty one cherios were introduced to supermarket shelves
(03:45):
in America. Nineteen forty one. Did cheerios ever have? What
was their big deal? When we were kids? They have
something to silk in yell's head.
Speaker 10 (03:54):
No, they didn't have any sugar on it, so we
didn't buy them, right.
Speaker 11 (03:59):
I don't.
Speaker 9 (04:00):
I don't remember jingle for cheerios.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
I sure don't.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
They wouldn't make you strong or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Just cheerio, cheerio.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay, they're heart healthy. I see these dudes.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, that's their that's their hook.
Speaker 12 (04:12):
That's a bee.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
All right, honey, cheerios here there you go. That's as
good food to give little kids. Just jump. Yeah, yeah,
come handy, I get all right, here's your tip. Move
up to nineteen sixty five, Missus Brown, You've Got a
Lovely Daughter by Herman's Hermits was a number one song
in America.
Speaker 12 (04:35):
It was your favorite, I know, gets snug in my head.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Finally, oh five, a tie fisherman caught a six hundred
and forty six pound catfish as the world's largest fresh
water fish ever recorded eight point nine feet meat cong
giant catfish added by villagers in chang Kong in northern
Thailand and waited by Thai Fisheries Department officials. So it
(05:06):
is official. Six hundred and forty six pound catfish.
Speaker 9 (05:10):
I think they threw it back.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
No wait, nobody, cob I'm under the bridge said, don't
matter how big catfish get all good. Imagine a filaise
out of that bad boy. There you go, whine. Then
there's a categories one eight hundred big shows. You told
free line, Come on and play out birds next?
Speaker 9 (05:58):
Ye like so hard to fine around.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Uppers.
Speaker 13 (06:06):
Let's play uppers. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
John Boy Billy gave the prizes from the big prize
being Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 9 (06:21):
This should really be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
When you're playing uppers.
Speaker 13 (06:26):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you have a big shot.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Let's say hi Gregory from Smyrna. Can I say we
have shots? Greg greg boris, good morning. I feel so welcome.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
You are.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
You won't do why Gregory? Glad you hear? What is
buddy Let's see if we can get that bull snot
headed out to you in five seconds. Give us three
cereals ready go Captain crutch raising bread apple dish apple jacks.
That's what they thought about lately, all right, thanks grec.
(07:18):
Now three things that are brown ready gold the truck,
uh dirt bound, Greg for the wind, three fish ready
(07:40):
go meadows gold fit cat pitch, and there is Greggy.
I to spurn the women. Good word, Greg, Grief, I
hain't gonna jag you'll hook you.
Speaker 14 (07:55):
Up, ok, get me wanting out this water, of course
you can't.
Speaker 11 (08:01):
I like.
Speaker 8 (08:01):
Good morning, miss Charlotte.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You have a nice day, and thank y'all very much. Well,
ain't you sweet? Agone record?
Speaker 11 (08:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Were jumping out catching you up on your news. Right
on the other side of this report our time capsule
about Thursday morning.
Speaker 9 (08:23):
Laugh.
Speaker 7 (08:52):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South snubernumber one Export.
Speaker 15 (09:09):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the Cave.
As our story opens, an unsavory cowboy calls down into
the mouth of a dark cave in the hills of
gold Rush Country near Dothan, California.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
All Right, sharp. You need to come on out of
there while you still can't get bet.
Speaker 8 (09:34):
You no good chirt par okay, girly.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Had time for you to do your thing. Uh you
sure about this?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Bell?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Lay out the deal and see what he.
Speaker 8 (09:45):
Says, Recky recke, Hello, sweet fancy Moses, What fresh hell
is it? Ricky?
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I need to talk to.
Speaker 8 (09:59):
You and me ain't got nothing to say to one another.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Curly Bill don't want to kill you.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
He just wants the gold.
Speaker 8 (10:08):
No way, Ie, the nuggets out of the ground with
my own two stubby little hands. I had handed it
over to that low down, no good man, killing woman
stealing jackass. I wouldn't even tell you where it was
that we was married.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Ricky, you love to be in purty mad shape.
Speaker 8 (10:25):
You think curly Bill's been chasing me for two solid days.
They got two broke garbs and a bullet hole in
my belly. Uh Old, Doc Weisser's up there at the
mouth of the cave with Bill right now. Is there
anybody in this town that Curry Bill ain't got this
yere pocket?
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Rickie, tell me where the gold's at, and I'll go back.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
And tell Bill and he'll send knock down to patch
you up.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I forget it.
Speaker 8 (10:48):
By the way, why would I tell you, of all people,
you're the hoarny little skeak of part of us that
run off with curly Bill last week?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Anyhow, what could I say?
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Things happened?
Speaker 11 (11:00):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Did you just undo my britches?
Speaker 9 (11:04):
And what you rolled me over?
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Up my belly?
Speaker 8 (11:06):
Purp woman, This ain't no time for one of your
dead gubs twisted little sex to Paine, Ricky, this hare's.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
A full stick of dynamite and I'm fixed to put
it up by that personal space.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Do what now? Uh?
Speaker 8 (11:24):
The other end of this wires up to a plunger
up at the mouth of the cave. If you don't
tell Bill where the gold is, Hey's gonna b live
you from here the kingdom cub.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Well, I got news for you.
Speaker 8 (11:35):
You and him could both go.
Speaker 12 (11:41):
I can't read.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
I can't read.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Where's the gold? That Ricky?
Speaker 8 (11:47):
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a second, I
feel like a dead corn dogs. All right, all right,
you got me. The gold is behind the house. Go
straight out the back door about one hundred yards over
the ridge. It's under that big rocket looks like an Indian.
(12:07):
If you get to the Indian, that looks like a rock.
You went too far.
Speaker 16 (12:11):
You done the right thing, Ricky, all.
Speaker 8 (12:13):
Right, now get up there and send that doctor down here.
How about taking a stick of dynamite with you?
Speaker 5 (12:18):
You just sit tied.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Loose at Dain't you better?
Speaker 8 (12:22):
Nick Darlade, you Judy is scariot. You broke my heart,
but I love you anyway.
Speaker 12 (12:30):
You don't know pare woman.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Okay, okay, I'm call Baddy.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
What do you say?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
He said?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
You're a shipless, goofy looking jackass if you ain't even
got the brains to push down on that plug.
Speaker 14 (12:41):
Jer We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 8 (12:53):
So it was only one stick a donaby.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
The burden killed in again next time when we're here.
Speaker 16 (13:01):
The crusty old gold buyer in Sacramento.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 12 (13:08):
I ain't do it take.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Too shun boyam delly. I tell you what man it
dang on in r's all rights. Man, who the insurance?
You get it with this member man? Not like that
you get a twenty thousand dollars. Just your arm blows
off man. Good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning, big
(13:53):
shows on the radio. And here we.
Speaker 13 (13:56):
Go and now it's story time with your host Carl Children's.
Speaker 17 (14:06):
I guess I ain't no spring chicken no more. I'm
pretty old and give out.
Speaker 12 (14:12):
Ain't gotten a gaze.
Speaker 17 (14:15):
I reckon that you get on in years arm. It's
a good idea to take care of yourself. I went
to the doctor last week, had me one of them
deals where the chick at your hind. Then they call
him something like a colon oscary. I can tell you
about it if you owed me to. If you don't,
(14:36):
I ain't got nothing.
Speaker 12 (14:39):
That you're like.
Speaker 17 (14:40):
Yes, it's based on all my experiences. First off, you
got to go in there and meet the doctor. Some
folks call him a physician. I called him a doctor.
I reckon they want to meet you on account. It's
a good idea to shake hands with him before he
gets started. I ain't gonna walk to afterward. I go
(15:03):
to that young fella, Doc Stevenson over there to the hospital.
He's a very handsome man, smiles a lot. I can't
figure out what makes a fellow decide he's gonna make
a living looking up folks backsides.
Speaker 12 (15:17):
Seems kindly funny to me. Not funny.
Speaker 17 (15:26):
That must be a pretty good wage in it. Or
maybe he just weren't smart enough to be a dentist.
I hear tell he pretty good at his job. I
know a fella named Royce from up better than nervous hospital.
He went to him, not for a colonoscaby. He swallowed
some car keys a couple of riding pins in a
(15:47):
tennis ball on account he's crazy, Doc Stevenson. He got
them out quick as a wink. Royce said he never
felt a thing. I can't ride to figure out how
he did that. You ever see a tennis ball? Maybe
it is magic, like your fancy boys in Las Vegas
(16:07):
do well, sir, I reckon. I didn't care nothing for
the part. Were you gonna get ready for the colony?
They give you this potion to drink care He said.
It was something called a laxative. He said, I want
to be sure to be close by the toilet when
I take it.
Speaker 12 (16:26):
Well, that ain't exactly right. You can't be close by,
you got to be right.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
There on it.
Speaker 17 (16:35):
It took me a second to figure that one out.
Out there laxative, plumb woe guitar out of me and
everything else. I tell you, I don't know where it
all came from. I was up all night flushing in shifts.
The next morning, you go in there to the hospital,
have that whole shebang done.
Speaker 12 (16:56):
You wander in this little room, Marm.
Speaker 17 (16:59):
They got a fifty foot coil of hose pipe hanging
on a wall and a big old' air compressor. I
asked Doc Stevenson what all that was for, Well, sir,
he said, they gonna put a camera on into that
hose pipe blow some marr up into my entards. Didn't
take pictures of the inside of behind end. I told
(17:23):
him I didn't need no pictures of that. I didn't
rightly care what it looked like.
Speaker 12 (17:27):
Anyhow.
Speaker 17 (17:29):
He said they had to look for all kinds of
warts and goblins and all sorts of stuff that might
be off kilter somewhere or another. They head he stripped
down barnacd. They give you this shirt with no back
on it, so your bottom sticks out. They lay it
down on your side on this table. Arm tell you
(17:49):
to sniff out of this cup. Well, I started to sniff,
and just as I was gonna tell him he didn't
have to use all fifty feet of that hose pipe.
I sorrety faded off.
Speaker 12 (18:03):
While I was out.
Speaker 17 (18:03):
I had me a nightmare where I was a glove
and this big old hand was chasing me.
Speaker 12 (18:09):
I didn't understand that part of it.
Speaker 17 (18:12):
I woke up all of a sudden, I couldn't feel
my backside.
Speaker 12 (18:16):
I said, what do you kill a feeling in my butt?
Speaker 11 (18:19):
Fern?
Speaker 12 (18:19):
What's you kill a feeling in my butt?
Speaker 17 (18:21):
Fern? I don't know what happened when I woke up.
There's a tennis ball sitting there. I reckon he didn't
find nothing, nothing bad anyhow.
Speaker 12 (18:36):
I hope I ain't got to do that again. Moral
of the story.
Speaker 17 (18:41):
If a fella's gonna put a hose pop in your backside,
make sure he been to school for it. And if
you do a good job, they might give you a
tennis ball.
Speaker 7 (18:51):
The end.
Speaker 13 (18:54):
Story time is brought to you by Hard Graves, potted
meat product, chalk full of peckers and lips. It's nineteen
thirty seven.
Speaker 12 (19:01):
I got some host pipe pat of the truck, Low Fuller.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Good morning, big shows on a radio. More big show
right around the corner.
Speaker 18 (19:12):
This is buzz nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I've never seen such carnage.
Speaker 18 (19:18):
And may I remind you that I was at the
Great Donna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle of nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
This is much much worse.
Speaker 18 (19:26):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses of
other morning shows lit at the battlefield. You're listening to
the victors in this morning radio war, John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show. Now, can I turn in
my expense receipts?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, morning, that's a big show on the radio for you. Thursday,
first day of May. A right, man got the package
in here. I want to thank Sergeant Jerry Smith and
the Mobile Police Department. Sergeant Jerry retired from the Mobile
Police Department. Man, and you got a box from oh
thanks for the patch mobile the City of Six Flags Police.
(20:36):
That's a cool patch. Man flipped up a bi collection.
Thank you very much. And Jerry, so I got a
picture it says, I want to put that up on
the John wore Miiller Facebook page. Day Uh a loving
memory of pearls. She got a picture of Pearl there
and the little older staying there. That's so awesome. We
you can see it. Uh gotta know, hey, John Boy
love you mean it and Bobby too so so I'm
(21:00):
sorry to hear about Pearl. Of those of you who
don't know Pearls. My dog is seventeen years has passed
away recently. Me and my family know all too well
the pain and sadness you feel whenever a beloved four
legged family member passes on. I've shed more tears over
my four legged family members and over my two legged
family members. John Boy and Clothes you will find a
(21:22):
little tribute to Pearl to me and my son Martin
put together for you and your family. We have done
many of these vinely inspired tributes for pets of family, friends,
and strangers we have never met. I pray the simple
heartfelt tribute to your beloved Pearl meets with your approval.
God bless the John Boy family. Jered smith Man, thank
(21:44):
you sing that all sign. It is so sweet man,
and I wanted to thank you. My wife tells us
to beat you and thank everybody all the listeners that
have posted a little deal about Pearl like It's a
link from the John Boy and Billy facebook page. Lapse
of of who we use over their pearls final deal there.
So yeah, and you can leave a little message at
(22:06):
his always took.
Speaker 15 (22:07):
Their time to leave a little thought and a kind
words to you, and it's very nice.
Speaker 10 (22:11):
All right.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
We'll put this little sergeant and this boy Martin what
they made for me. We'll put that up is John
Boy Billy facebook page. Right, Good morning, Big shows on
the radio coming up. We played John Boyjebty Winner gets
a hat, t shirt, tumbler and a twenty five dollars
gas card from Law Tigers. Law Tigers and motorcycle lawyers
who ride representing injured riders for over two decades. With
(22:35):
Law Tigers, you never ride alone. Just click on the
banner when you hit the Big show dot com. Hang on,
you went it in minutes. Well, there's always something exciting
happening in dismal Seep in South Carolina, and you're to
tell us all about it. As a mayor himself, the
Honorable Merwin Coo Fiddleswoop, Good morning, mister mayor.
Speaker 11 (22:54):
Yahsu Coley Merra, John Boy.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Are you spaking clean?
Speaker 17 (22:58):
On?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Is this your way of telling me you're having a
star Trek Convention.
Speaker 11 (23:03):
No, sorry to disappoint, that's hello. Good morning, John boy
in Greek in honor of our first annual Dismal Seepage
Greeking Out Greek Festival.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Oh got you. That's great, first year haunt. So what
made you decide to have a Greek festival?
Speaker 11 (23:18):
Oh yeah, there's a lot of contributing factors. We've done
just about every other nationality. It was down to a
toss up between Greece and Macedonia. Macedonia is just weird.
All they do is drive backwards and bet their paychecks
on sports. If I wanted to see that, I go
to Charleston.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Does Does themal Sevage have a big Greek population?
Speaker 11 (23:40):
Oh no, we've gotta truck them in from a rental place.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Ahit a second, you're you're renting Greeks.
Speaker 11 (23:46):
You know. There's a place in Georgia called we Reek
of Greek. It's like a one stop shop for all
things Greek. I've got their business cards right here.
Speaker 10 (23:54):
Hold on a second.
Speaker 11 (23:55):
Here it is when you're up a creek without a Greek,
don't freak it to us.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
You seek Well, that is catchy. So what's on the
docket for the big weekend.
Speaker 11 (24:06):
Oh, we've got all the traditional Greek festival stuff, you know,
the food, the culture. Men with excess body hair and
one eyebrow, women with excess.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Body hair and one eyebrow dancing.
Speaker 11 (24:20):
No, I'm setting in my chair.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Actually, no, no, no, will you have Greek dancing?
Speaker 11 (24:24):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (24:25):
Why?
Speaker 11 (24:25):
Thank you for reminding me, John boy. We've actually gone
one better. We've got the touring production of the musical Grease.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Well, how does that have anything to do with a
Greek festival? You know, that's all fifties music and rock
and roll.
Speaker 11 (24:43):
Well, it would be if it was spelled g r
e a s e. This, however, is spelled g r
e e Ce like the country. The all Greek version
of that show set in Greece in the fifties, and
it's even performed in Greek.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
How's that going to go?
Speaker 11 (25:01):
I'm sure it'll be fine. John Stamos is starring, so
all the house frozz will be there. You know, John boy,
the Greeks were quite the athletes, so we're excited to
welcome Achilles heels. It's an old woman Greco Roman wrestling exhibition,
just like in ancient times.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
You know, unless I'm mistaken Greco Roman wrestling was done
in the nude.
Speaker 11 (25:28):
Oh well, my weekend just got better. And we've got
a couple of streets for the kiddos absorb of the Greek.
The human sponge will.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Be on human sponge. So how's that work?
Speaker 11 (25:43):
Well, my understanding is he's like a roll of bounty
paper towels. He's an old guy with extremely dry skin,
and apparently he just soaks up the water. That's what
happens when you don't moisturize. You gotta moisturize, John boy,
do you moisturre eyes? No, I'm straight. We've also got
(26:03):
Gregorio's racing goats ah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Kind of like the pig races we have in our
county fairs.
Speaker 11 (26:09):
Well, if the losers get eaten, that's exactly what.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Well, speaking of food, I guess this is going to
be traditional Greek fair.
Speaker 11 (26:17):
Oh yeah, Bett's pie, stuffed grape leaves, bahkla bah, and
we have a special eating contest.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Euro's Gyro is it eros and Gyro's the same thing?
Speaker 11 (26:29):
Yes? And no, John boy, this is getting strapped into
one of those big gyroscopes you see at the fair,
and while it's spinning every which way, you have to
successfully eat a euro. It's hilariously messy and not coincidentally,
it's located right next to the Greek porta potties.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Greek porta potties, you bet.
Speaker 11 (26:51):
Oopers poopas they look like little parthenons. It's a door
I'll be and we'll have a special ribben cutting for
Dismal Seepage's newest eatery, Mister Nico Runtopopoulos will have the
grand opening of the newest Pizza Runt with a special
appearance by the Pizza Runt mascot himself.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Hey, we know him, Ricky Sharp.
Speaker 11 (27:14):
Yeah, he's uh, he's quite a character. Yeah, not the
tallest sprout in the garden. Did you know his pizza
run outfit is the size of an actual piece of pizza.
You know, I almost stepped on him a couple of times.
He kept yelling son of a and calling me a
cherry picker.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Whenever that Well, those are his catch phrases.
Speaker 11 (27:36):
Ah, I see, Well, I hope he makes it back
in time for the festival.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well where did it go?
Speaker 11 (27:41):
Long story? I was trying to take a promotional picture
for our paper, The Dismal Times, and I had him
sitting on one of the racing goats. A car back fired,
and the last time I saw him he was headed
south on a gray and white pigmy goat named Gigantics.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Nothing sound good.
Speaker 11 (27:59):
So come on down the first annual Dismal Seepage Greeking
Out Greek Festival. I'll see you there. And if you
if you see a slice of pizza riding a little ghost,
call my office.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
God.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Well, let's play John Boye with I lovely listeners. Well
they hello, tigers prize pack. Let's review yesterday's question. We
found out seventy four percent of Americans say they do
this household chore every day, while five percent admit they
never do it.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
And what does make their beds?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Make your babe all right today? John boyd Jepardy. This
word holds the record for appearing in more movie titles
than any other words. You're just qualified to Tatar Tamman News.
I'm sure you know one eight hundred Big Show told
(28:53):
free line we go, do we get a winter? We play?
John boy Jeparary. Next, good morning, it's a big show
(29:28):
on the radio. Were running to your Thursday morning. Our
feature track from the Big Show bed Box, it's a
playhouse entitled a Mexican walks into Toys r US, Mexican toys.
The keywords in the bed box is at the Big
Show dot Com. Right now, let's blave yes live across America.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
It's John boyd Jepino and now your host.
Speaker 10 (29:52):
He can't remember the punchline to the Mexican walking into
the toys r US joke, but he does know one
about a horse.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
That walks into a bar.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Why the long face? He's John Boy. I realized I
was going to be testing on my material very much.
Just say hey to Brandon out of Asheville, North Carolina.
Good morning, Brandon, John Boy, Hey buddy, welcome. You got
first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning. Buddy, all
(30:22):
you gotta do is tell us what word holds the
record for appearing in more movie titles than any other word.
THEE did you say? Thief?
Speaker 11 (30:36):
Now?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
He said the he said v the ah, the wow.
Look at Brandon, We'll let see. I don't know it
sounds like it, but I ain't got time to go
back and count right now.
Speaker 10 (30:52):
I did the same Google search that he came up with,
and I know why he.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Got it, and it's not the How about that all right, well,
well find out why you're wrong in in a couple
of minutes, Brandon, you'll see how we feel about every day.
All right, buddy boy, thank you, we appreciate you.
Speaker 12 (31:10):
Man.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
All right, well, let's go to Thomas. He's down in Marshall, Texas.
Good morning, Thomas money. Yeah, hey, buddy. So uh, Brandon
says THEE. Boy, that sure does sound like it ought
to be it. But Randy says, no, it is not.
What word does hold the record for appearing in more
movie titles. Thomas, I want to say, let's see show
(31:36):
us love. All right, So Randy, why isn't it THEE?
Speaker 11 (31:49):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Because it's not?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Okay, Well, you said you knew why Brandon got THEE.
Speaker 10 (31:56):
I know because there's an Instagram, i mean Reddit topic
on it and a lot of people were guessing THEE.
It was the first hit on a Google search. All right, okay,
all right, so love Thomas. Everything's cool.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Love. By the way, these second most use word night,
then dead, then man, then house. How about that? That
is up and that's the man gone get him.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
That's according to the list that was researched by IMDb.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
All right, so y'all take up your complains with Randy. Okay,
nice afternoon, Thomas. You hang on, my boy. You got
a big old Lord Tiger's Price pack. Head down to
Marshall for you.
Speaker 7 (32:38):
Thank you, sure.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
By him on the hour top of your news. Got
oh a treat right on the other side, called from
mad Mix coming in hotting. Good morning, big shows on
(33:32):
the radio. Get this call, Hello, big you John Boyn,
Billy Man, mad Man Here, how's it going?
Speaker 6 (33:40):
How's it going?
Speaker 11 (33:41):
Now?
Speaker 6 (33:41):
Well, let's see, I'm a sixty year old heterosexual American man,
and despite what you might have heard, every part of
that scenario has got a pretty big down side to it.
Number One, I'm sixty years old, which means everything I
got hurts. If something quit's hurting, it's usually causes quit
(34:05):
working all together. Right, I should probably check to make
sure it didn't fall off.
Speaker 11 (34:10):
Right.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
Thanks to modern medicine, we're living longer than ever. But
tay the truth. Some days I can't figure out why
anybody wants it man. Number two down that list, let's see,
I'm a head of row sexual, which at one time
was the hottest thing going. It was easy to figure
out when you need to use a bathroom, you match
(34:30):
the plumbing in the stall to the plumbing in your shorts.
Here lately, America's got more flavors and a basking Robbins
wirehouse Restaurants used to have signs on the door that
said pointers and centers are.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Buoys and gulls.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
But nowadays a sign is a stick figure with a
poodle skirt and a handlebar mustache, which is the international semaphore.
No use trying to figure it out, Just do your
business and let some then as a thing goes my
big old bunt, no pun intended. Why where are we?
(35:08):
Number three I'm American, wish to hear the rest of
the world tell it means I'm the source of every
spec of evil on the face of the earth, even
though in the last hundred years we've saved the rest
of y'all from having to learn how to speak Japanese once,
German twice, and right now we're doing the best we
can to keep it from having to learn Arabic.
Speaker 11 (35:30):
Two.
Speaker 6 (35:32):
They say the Arabic part is cause we're always running
around the world looking for more oil, which is true,
but unlike a lot of other countries, we're actually willing
to pay for it. Number four, I'm a man, which
means there ain't a one of y'all that would even
be here if it wasn't for me. Gender neutral might
(35:53):
work just dandy in a college lecture hall, but when
it comes to bringing a next generation of knuckle head
into the world, you're absolutely gonna have to bring a
man into the protest in some way at some point.
That ain't politics, it's basic biology, which if you're in
college nowadays, I ain't surprised you don't really understand it.
(36:18):
So chuckles answer your original question. I'm a sixty year
old hetero session American man. How you think it? So
at this point I'd like to segue into the actual
reason I called in, but at the moment I ain't
got a dad gum clue what it was. And by
the way, that's another downside of the whole sixty year
(36:40):
old thing. I'll tell you what I work on it
and get back to you. So for now, this is
mad Mit saying support the troops, spare newterter you pet
seeing inis twice a year, Sat down, shut up, quit
a word in my life, John Bobilly, y'all have a
nice day.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Good morning. It is Thursday, May first, twenty and twenty
five big shows on the radio. It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 8 (37:35):
Well, well, well, it seems you can't pick up a
phone these days without having to push a button just
to speak to someone in English. If you've ever called
an eight hundred number for tech support, you wind up
trying to figure out what gunga din is telling you.
(37:56):
I wish everyone would just learn to speak English. And
if you've ever read the Big Show Facebook page or
listen to wordy Word, you realize that's probably asking a lot,
in some cases, a whole lot. Perhaps the problem is
we real Americans just take English for granted. We've been
(38:19):
doing it for so long we've forgotten how dawning a
task it might be for someone to learn to speak English.
There's so many don rules to follow, most of which
just don't make any sense. A friend of mine found
this on the Internet and sent it to me. It
was on the internet, so you know it's true. He's
a French model. You'll begin with a box, and the
(38:46):
plural is boxes, but the plural of ox became oxen,
not oxes. One foul is a goose, but two are
called geese. Yet the plural of moose should never be
mease you may find one mouse or a nest full
of mice. Yet the plural of house is houses, not hee.
If the plural of man is always called men, why
(39:08):
shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I
spoke of a foot, and show you my feet, if
you gave me a boot, would a pair be called beat?
If one is a tooth and a whole set of teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then
one may be that, and three would be those. Yet
(39:31):
had in the plural would never be hoes. And the
plural of cat is cats.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Never cos.
Speaker 8 (39:38):
We speak of a brother and also a brethren, but
though we say mother, we never say methron. Then the
masculine pronouns he, his and him. But imagine the feminine she,
SiZ and shim in all fanners. I have seen a
few shim in my head, But you see what I mean.
(40:00):
Let's face it. English is a crazy language. But if
we explore its paradoxes, we find that, for example, quicksand
is actually quite slow, boxing rings are square, and a
guinea pig is neither from guinea or remotely related to
a pig. And why is it right us right, but
fingers don't fing to think about it.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
You can make amends, but not one single amend.
Speaker 8 (40:27):
If you have a big box of odds and ends
and throw all of them away except for one, what
do you call that?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Brother?
Speaker 8 (40:34):
If teach us taught, why don't preach us praught? If
a vegetarian needs vegetables, what does a humanitarian eaed? And
what other language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital. We ship by truck and sent
cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet
that smell. We park in the driveway and drive on
(40:56):
the parkway. And how in the world is a slim.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
Chance and a fat chain?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
It's the same thing.
Speaker 8 (41:03):
While wise men and wise guys are polar opposites, you
have to marvel at the unique insanity of English, where
your house can burn up as it burns down, and
you fill in a form while filling it out, and
an alarm goes off by going on And while I'm
thinking of it, if father is pop, how come mothers
(41:25):
not moped? Sometimes I think the folks who created this
mess should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
insane English.
Speaker 12 (41:35):
What a load of.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Who will good morning. You got the big show on
the radio. More chances for you to win coming up
after your news weather sports?
Speaker 8 (41:56):
Did this is fan your the arts in all today
Hammer Langerford.
Speaker 9 (42:02):
Norway after around to kick the Wolverine.
Speaker 18 (42:06):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great big hairring smoothie.
Speaker 12 (42:13):
And listening to.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
The Big Show with John Boy and Bay.
Speaker 9 (42:17):
There's a bond in this one.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Good morning, it's a big shawl. Radio Thursday made the first.
It was on this day in nineteen twelve, just days
after the Titanic sank, Federal Ships Safety regulation was as you,
requiring all steamships to carry enough life boats to hold
all passenger. Brilliant good idea, said everybody, of course, as
(43:13):
of having after the Titanic and then the movie release,
Oh new generation enjoys the story.
Speaker 16 (43:23):
The biggest motion picture in history is now the action
Place out of the year. Toyko presents titaneg Squad, Evil Cow,
The snaudy Aristocrat springs a deadly trap. Can Action Jack
escape the brig of Doom before it fills with icy
ocean water?
Speaker 13 (43:36):
You're finished?
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Third class scallywag.
Speaker 11 (43:39):
That's what is.
Speaker 16 (43:40):
But wait here comes Action Rose with Breakaway Bodis Wow,
do that hour? Can Rose and Jack escape before the
giant ship disappears beneath the waves? You decide with ty
tanneg Squad Action, Iceberg, Flooding, Grig of Doom and Draw
Me Naked Art Kit, each sold separately new from Toyko.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Good Morning, got a big show on the radio coming up.
We played Beat de Blonde for a Happy Herd prize bag.
Hang on, have fun with tat ear in a second.
Right now, it's fun with Doug Rice because it's on
track with Doug Rice every Thursday morning. About this time,
Doug experiencing his first year of retirement and we're not
letting him go. Good Morning again, Doug, thank you so much. Yeah,
(44:21):
I'm not really good.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
At this retiring thing. I keep finding more stuff. How
all this works out in the long.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Run, Well, gave me a couple of names. Man at
Talladegon Wow, as you're talking about the crap shooting, it
sure was. But there I had William Byron and Joey Logano.
There they are up front, all race like you said,
and then ooh Sindric he wins it. Lars and second
and they get shut out. And then Mayhemon sues after
(44:48):
the race, Doug, you take it from there, buddy, Well,
you pretty much got it there.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Austin Sindric was up toward the front in the last
portion of the race. He was never out of the
top four, so this wasn't a fluke win. He got
to the front, stayed up there, played it right, won
a close one at the end of the race, edging
out Ryan Priest at the time, and that's his third
career w his first win of this year. So that
(45:14):
means Austin Sindrick goes to the playoffs.
Speaker 6 (45:17):
Yay.
Speaker 5 (45:17):
Austin His two Penske teammates much better known and better
resumes that both have won championships Joey three and Ryan
Blaney won have yet to win this year. It got
worse for Joey. He had a top five finish, but
after the race disqualified for some discrepancies on the spoiler.
(45:38):
Apparently a nut came off of a screw that attaches
to the spoiler and NASCAR says, you can't have that.
Don't care if it fell off during the race or not,
it's not there now. So he gets penalized. He will
finish last. They also found some problems with Ryan Preeste's spoiler.
He was disqualified. He finished next to last, so a
(45:58):
big shuffle a few hours after the race was over.
These guys are de qued in their days. They might
as well not have gone to Texas. But for Austin Sindric,
big win for him. When you win in the first
ten races of the year, you can kind of coast
for the next sixteen to the regular season, knowing that
you've got a spot in the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Well, looking at that, that's only the second Ford that won.
It was Josh Berry in the number twenty one car
at Vegas. You were out there for that, So I
don't know if that means anything, but only second Ford win.
Speaker 9 (46:31):
Well, you know, I look at it.
Speaker 5 (46:32):
I look at it this way. I think that the
Fords have raced with a lot of tough luck this year.
Ryan Blaney, I think by now could have won three races,
Joey could have won one or two, and they just
have it. Things haven't played out well for him. I
wrote Ford off real early last year and wound up
Joey Logano won the title again. So I'm I'm gonna
(46:53):
be a little hesitant before I proclaimed that you know
the Fords can't get out of their own way right now,
I think they'll be okay. That seems to have been
the pattern the last couple of years, especially with the
Penske bunch. The later the season gets, the more knowledge
they accumulate, the better they run it.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
We always always followed Denny Hamlin against the world, and
Denny finished twenty first in Talladega.
Speaker 5 (47:18):
Yeah, Denny was not a non factor. He also got
shuffled back. He had some not so good things to
say about Ross Chastain for pulling up in front of
them and slowing the line of Toyotas down at Talladega,
and they never got up toward the front at the
end of the race. I think sometimes Ross is just
the whipping boy for a lot of the other drivers.
(47:40):
If they can find some way to tie him into something,
they sort of feel like it's free range chicken and
they can blame it on him for everything. The truth is,
I don't think Denny Hamlin or any of the other
Toyotas were going to be a factor that day.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
And what about Joey Logano Talking on the radio, Joey
says a lot and these drivers, you got to.
Speaker 5 (48:05):
Remember we're we're we're able to listen in on the
in car radio. I am never offended by anything anybody
says because I don't have to listen and we get
to hear it. It's like being in the huddler on
the sidelines of another game. You hear everything unaltered. Joey
God ferociously mad at his teammate and the eventual winner,
(48:26):
Austin Sindrick for helping a Toyota Bubba Wallace winstage one,
and he just goes off on his in car radio
about Austin and it's it's profanity laden. If you go
back and listen to the edited version, all.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
You hear are beats. Every other word gets beat out.
Speaker 5 (48:46):
It's it's awesome. If you listen to the unedited version. Uh,
it's what did Spock say? He uses a lot of
colorful metaphors.
Speaker 10 (48:56):
So are they all on the same radio even though
they're teammates.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Do they have different challenge?
Speaker 5 (49:02):
They all have different champion. But Austin found out about
it pretty quick. Fox even picked it up during the
race broadcast, and of course they ran the edited version
right back, not three minutes after.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Joey went on this rant. Of course he said.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
He's kind of said, you know, I've not changed how
I felt. I probably shouldn't have shared it with the world,
but you know, he was upset with his teammate for
helping out another make He helped the Toyota win and
not Afford, and Joey went off on that, and you
know it kind of had to live with the consequences.
But you know, we're inside the cockpit of these race
(49:37):
cars with these drivers and we get to hear it unedited,
so you don't don't get mad if you hear something
that you don't like because you don't have to listen.
It made for good conversation.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Heat of the moment. You know, it just went off
for Joey. Yeah, just imagine you, like in a five
o'clock in traffic, you know, yeah, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 5 (50:00):
Dad, I don't want anybody recording that.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
So Texas Motor Speedway, why are we looking at down
Texas this weekend?
Speaker 5 (50:09):
You know, Kyle Larson doesn't finish well there. I think
he's only finished in the top ten like a third
of the races.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
He's run there.
Speaker 5 (50:17):
But he always runs well there. He leads laps, he
qualifies well, he's fast, he has terrible luck at that place.
I could see Larson getting through this one if he
doesn't have that bad luck, and he's my Chevy to win,
either him or William Byron on the Ford side. And
I keep saying this every week. Brian Blaney's got to
(50:37):
win a race. His metrics this year look really good.
They're fast. He's the one car on the track a
lot of times that can actually pass other cars. He
makes up a lot of ground. They've had everything happen
to them, but a meteorite hit him. Just get through
a race and have a clean showing little footnote a
(51:00):
car to look for Sunday, you won't be able to
miss it is the defending race winner. Chase Elliott is
running a solid gold Chevrolet to commemorate one hundred years
of NAPA Auto Parts as sponsor. I saw some pictures online.
The thing looks stunning. I don't know if it's going
to be fast or not, but they're going to sell
a boatload of die casting sock.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Chase out came missing some luck with Kyle Larson and
Ryan Blaney could use it as well. All Right, Doug,
we got you, buddy. You have a great weekend man.
Speaker 5 (51:32):
All Right, guys, talk to you next Thursday.
Speaker 1 (51:34):
All right, we will see you right here. That's our man,
Doug Rice. Follow him on X Riceman sixty one. All right,
let's play Beat de Blonde. Come on one eight hundred,
big show. You told free Line. We'll do it next
That money y'all Big Show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hello a you perky early risers. Here's just the thing
to wake you up and get your blood pumping, the
John Boy and Billy Big Show. Why, before you know it,
you'll be bouncing off the walls just like me. Ooh
(00:27):
whah uh uh oh.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
See what I mean I can do to do? Loving
(01:09):
at them saying good morning to Thursday. It is the
first day of May. It is May Day. Hello, everybody,
happen may Day?
Speaker 3 (01:22):
Why not?
Speaker 4 (01:23):
Sound like graded from sampon? So I don't know, I'm
about May Day?
Speaker 5 (01:36):
Can you do it?
Speaker 6 (01:36):
Really?
Speaker 7 (01:36):
Well?
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Where's that may poll by?
Speaker 8 (01:39):
Here?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
About? Oh right, there's something to do with comedies, I
think too, right, May may Day? Is that right? Anybody
familiar with the Communist manifesto? Wow, I pull up California.
Speaker 9 (01:57):
That's what I had to do with the pole, That's
all I thought.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Day dance around a pole or something. Maybe it was
a Polish person.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It was celebrating spring out there.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
The commedies were attagging Poland at one time, wasn't it
in Russian Poland? Not getting long?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I go with that. You obviously don't want the truth.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
No you can't. I know it's National loyal To today,
so you concentrate on you'll be loyal. Okay. It's National
Chocolate parfait Day, right, A good deal. I love you.
You pick him up, but you're shopping the hairsteata. Do
you ever get my hair statter? They having a little
parfas already made up? Yeah, I get you one in
(02:37):
par faith. I like a pudding parfit. National Skilled Trades Day,
that would be nice. I don't have one. No National
Interpreter Appreciation Day. Yeah, I know, my bark. It's National
Mother Goose Day. But Mother Goose she'll she'll rhyme or
(03:01):
a story. Okay, three three days in history, yea, we're
moving on. Then three days in history left. We'll get
the winning beginning. We're awake. Big shows on the radio.
Good morning, Big Shows on the radio. Get the first prize.
Pack out one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull
Snot cleaning products made in the USA. Truck drivers keep
(03:23):
America moving, the bull snot make sure they look good
doing it. You find bull Snout a truck stops across
America and download the Bullsnot app when you need to
click on the banner at the Big Show dot Com.
Listen right here, we'll get three categories out of our
three dates in history, and you can win it. It
was nineteen forty one cherios were introduced to supermarket shelves
(03:45):
in America. Nineteen forty one. Did cheerios ever have? What
was their big deal? When we were kids? They have
something to silk in yell's head.
Speaker 10 (03:54):
No, they didn't have any sugar on it, so we
didn't buy them, right.
Speaker 11 (03:59):
I don't.
Speaker 9 (04:00):
I don't remember jingle for cheerios.
Speaker 5 (04:01):
I sure don't.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
They wouldn't make you strong or anything like that.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Just cheerio, cheerio.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay, they're heart healthy. I see these dudes.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, that's their that's their hook.
Speaker 12 (04:12):
That's a bee.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
All right, honey, cheerios here there you go. That's as
good food to give little kids. Just jump. Yeah, yeah,
come handy, I get all right, here's your tip. Move
up to nineteen sixty five, Missus Brown, You've Got a
Lovely Daughter by Herman's Hermits was a number one song
in America.
Speaker 12 (04:35):
It was your favorite, I know, gets snug in my head.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Finally, oh five, a tie fisherman caught a six hundred
and forty six pound catfish as the world's largest fresh
water fish ever recorded eight point nine feet meat cong
giant catfish added by villagers in chang Kong in northern
Thailand and waited by Thai Fisheries Department officials. So it
(05:06):
is official. Six hundred and forty six pound catfish.
Speaker 9 (05:10):
I think they threw it back.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
No wait, nobody, cob I'm under the bridge said, don't
matter how big catfish get all good. Imagine a filaise
out of that bad boy. There you go, whine. Then
there's a categories one eight hundred big shows. You told
free line, Come on and play out birds next?
Speaker 9 (05:58):
Ye like so hard to fine around.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Uppers.
Speaker 13 (06:06):
Let's play uppers. It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
John Boy Billy gave the prizes from the big prize
being Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 9 (06:21):
This should really be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
When you're playing uppers.
Speaker 13 (06:26):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you have a big shot.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Let's say hi Gregory from Smyrna. Can I say we
have shots? Greg greg boris, good morning. I feel so welcome.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
You are.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
You won't do why Gregory? Glad you hear? What is
buddy Let's see if we can get that bull snot
headed out to you in five seconds. Give us three
cereals ready go Captain crutch raising bread apple dish apple jacks.
That's what they thought about lately, all right, thanks grec.
(07:18):
Now three things that are brown ready gold the truck,
uh dirt bound, Greg for the wind, three fish ready
(07:40):
go meadows gold fit cat pitch, and there is Greggy.
I to spurn the women. Good word, Greg, Grief, I
hain't gonna jag you'll hook you.
Speaker 14 (07:55):
Up, ok, get me wanting out this water, of course
you can't.
Speaker 11 (08:01):
I like.
Speaker 8 (08:01):
Good morning, miss Charlotte.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You have a nice day, and thank y'all very much. Well,
ain't you sweet? Agone record?
Speaker 11 (08:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Were jumping out catching you up on your news. Right
on the other side of this report our time capsule
about Thursday morning.
Speaker 9 (08:23):
Laugh.
Speaker 7 (08:52):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South snubernumber one Export.
Speaker 15 (09:09):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the Cave.
As our story opens, an unsavory cowboy calls down into
the mouth of a dark cave in the hills of
gold Rush Country near Dothan, California.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
All Right, sharp. You need to come on out of
there while you still can't get bet.
Speaker 8 (09:34):
You no good chirt par okay, girly.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Had time for you to do your thing. Uh you
sure about this?
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Bell?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Lay out the deal and see what he.
Speaker 8 (09:45):
Says, Recky recke, Hello, sweet fancy Moses, What fresh hell
is it? Ricky?
Speaker 1 (09:57):
I need to talk to.
Speaker 8 (09:59):
You and me ain't got nothing to say to one another.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
Curly Bill don't want to kill you.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
He just wants the gold.
Speaker 8 (10:08):
No way, Ie, the nuggets out of the ground with
my own two stubby little hands. I had handed it
over to that low down, no good man, killing woman
stealing jackass. I wouldn't even tell you where it was
that we was married.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Ricky, you love to be in purty mad shape.
Speaker 8 (10:25):
You think curly Bill's been chasing me for two solid days.
They got two broke garbs and a bullet hole in
my belly. Uh Old, Doc Weisser's up there at the
mouth of the cave with Bill right now. Is there
anybody in this town that Curry Bill ain't got this
yere pocket?
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Rickie, tell me where the gold's at, and I'll go back.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
And tell Bill and he'll send knock down to patch
you up.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I forget it.
Speaker 8 (10:48):
By the way, why would I tell you, of all people,
you're the hoarny little skeak of part of us that
run off with curly Bill last week?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Anyhow, what could I say?
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Things happened?
Speaker 11 (11:00):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Did you just undo my britches?
Speaker 9 (11:04):
And what you rolled me over?
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Up my belly?
Speaker 8 (11:06):
Purp woman, This ain't no time for one of your
dead gubs twisted little sex to Paine, Ricky, this hare's.
Speaker 4 (11:13):
A full stick of dynamite and I'm fixed to put
it up by that personal space.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Do what now? Uh?
Speaker 8 (11:24):
The other end of this wires up to a plunger
up at the mouth of the cave. If you don't
tell Bill where the gold is, Hey's gonna b live
you from here the kingdom cub.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Well, I got news for you.
Speaker 8 (11:35):
You and him could both go.
Speaker 12 (11:41):
I can't read.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
I can't read.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Where's the gold? That Ricky?
Speaker 8 (11:47):
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Hold on a second, I
feel like a dead corn dogs. All right, all right,
you got me. The gold is behind the house. Go
straight out the back door about one hundred yards over
the ridge. It's under that big rocket looks like an Indian.
(12:07):
If you get to the Indian, that looks like a rock.
You went too far.
Speaker 16 (12:11):
You done the right thing, Ricky, all.
Speaker 8 (12:13):
Right, now get up there and send that doctor down here.
How about taking a stick of dynamite with you?
Speaker 5 (12:18):
You just sit tied.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Loose at Dain't you better?
Speaker 8 (12:22):
Nick Darlade, you Judy is scariot. You broke my heart,
but I love you anyway.
Speaker 12 (12:30):
You don't know pare woman.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Okay, okay, I'm call Baddy.
Speaker 6 (12:33):
What do you say?
Speaker 1 (12:34):
He said?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
You're a shipless, goofy looking jackass if you ain't even
got the brains to push down on that plug.
Speaker 14 (12:41):
Jer We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 8 (12:53):
So it was only one stick a donaby.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
The burden killed in again next time when we're here.
Speaker 16 (13:01):
The crusty old gold buyer in Sacramento.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 12 (13:08):
I ain't do it take.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Too shun boyam delly. I tell you what man it
dang on in r's all rights. Man, who the insurance?
You get it with this member man? Not like that
you get a twenty thousand dollars. Just your arm blows
off man. Good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning, big
(13:53):
shows on the radio. And here we.
Speaker 13 (13:56):
Go and now it's story time with your host Carl Children's.
Speaker 17 (14:06):
I guess I ain't no spring chicken no more. I'm
pretty old and give out.
Speaker 12 (14:12):
Ain't gotten a gaze.
Speaker 17 (14:15):
I reckon that you get on in years arm. It's
a good idea to take care of yourself. I went
to the doctor last week, had me one of them
deals where the chick at your hind. Then they call
him something like a colon oscary. I can tell you
about it if you owed me to. If you don't,
(14:36):
I ain't got nothing.
Speaker 12 (14:39):
That you're like.
Speaker 17 (14:40):
Yes, it's based on all my experiences. First off, you
got to go in there and meet the doctor. Some
folks call him a physician. I called him a doctor.
I reckon they want to meet you on account. It's
a good idea to shake hands with him before he
gets started. I ain't gonna walk to afterward. I go
(15:03):
to that young fella, Doc Stevenson over there to the hospital.
He's a very handsome man, smiles a lot. I can't
figure out what makes a fellow decide he's gonna make
a living looking up folks backsides.
Speaker 12 (15:17):
Seems kindly funny to me. Not funny.
Speaker 17 (15:26):
That must be a pretty good wage in it. Or
maybe he just weren't smart enough to be a dentist.
I hear tell he pretty good at his job. I
know a fella named Royce from up better than nervous hospital.
He went to him, not for a colonoscaby. He swallowed
some car keys a couple of riding pins in a
(15:47):
tennis ball on account he's crazy, Doc Stevenson. He got
them out quick as a wink. Royce said he never
felt a thing. I can't ride to figure out how
he did that. You ever see a tennis ball? Maybe
it is magic, like your fancy boys in Las Vegas
(16:07):
do well, sir, I reckon. I didn't care nothing for
the part. Were you gonna get ready for the colony?
They give you this potion to drink care He said.
It was something called a laxative. He said, I want
to be sure to be close by the toilet when
I take it.
Speaker 12 (16:26):
Well, that ain't exactly right. You can't be close by,
you got to be right.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
There on it.
Speaker 17 (16:35):
It took me a second to figure that one out.
Out there laxative, plumb woe guitar out of me and
everything else. I tell you, I don't know where it
all came from. I was up all night flushing in shifts.
The next morning, you go in there to the hospital,
have that whole shebang done.
Speaker 12 (16:56):
You wander in this little room, Marm.
Speaker 17 (16:59):
They got a fifty foot coil of hose pipe hanging
on a wall and a big old' air compressor. I
asked Doc Stevenson what all that was for, Well, sir,
he said, they gonna put a camera on into that
hose pipe blow some marr up into my entards. Didn't
take pictures of the inside of behind end. I told
(17:23):
him I didn't need no pictures of that. I didn't
rightly care what it looked like.
Speaker 12 (17:27):
Anyhow.
Speaker 17 (17:29):
He said they had to look for all kinds of
warts and goblins and all sorts of stuff that might
be off kilter somewhere or another. They head he stripped
down barnacd. They give you this shirt with no back
on it, so your bottom sticks out. They lay it
down on your side on this table. Arm tell you
(17:49):
to sniff out of this cup. Well, I started to sniff,
and just as I was gonna tell him he didn't
have to use all fifty feet of that hose pipe.
I sorrety faded off.
Speaker 12 (18:03):
While I was out.
Speaker 17 (18:03):
I had me a nightmare where I was a glove
and this big old hand was chasing me.
Speaker 12 (18:09):
I didn't understand that part of it.
Speaker 17 (18:12):
I woke up all of a sudden, I couldn't feel
my backside.
Speaker 12 (18:16):
I said, what do you kill a feeling in my butt?
Speaker 11 (18:19):
Fern?
Speaker 12 (18:19):
What's you kill a feeling in my butt?
Speaker 17 (18:21):
Fern? I don't know what happened when I woke up.
There's a tennis ball sitting there. I reckon he didn't
find nothing, nothing bad anyhow.
Speaker 12 (18:36):
I hope I ain't got to do that again. Moral
of the story.
Speaker 17 (18:41):
If a fella's gonna put a hose pop in your backside,
make sure he been to school for it. And if
you do a good job, they might give you a
tennis ball.
Speaker 7 (18:51):
The end.
Speaker 13 (18:54):
Story time is brought to you by Hard Graves, potted
meat product, chalk full of peckers and lips. It's nineteen
thirty seven.
Speaker 12 (19:01):
I got some host pipe pat of the truck, Low Fuller.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Good morning, big shows on a radio. More big show
right around the corner.
Speaker 18 (19:12):
This is buzz nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I've never seen such carnage.
Speaker 18 (19:18):
And may I remind you that I was at the
Great Donna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle of nineteen ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
This is much much worse.
Speaker 18 (19:26):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses of
other morning shows lit at the battlefield. You're listening to
the victors in this morning radio war, John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show. Now, can I turn in
my expense receipts?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, morning, that's a big show on the radio for you. Thursday,
first day of May. A right, man got the package
in here. I want to thank Sergeant Jerry Smith and
the Mobile Police Department. Sergeant Jerry retired from the Mobile
Police Department. Man, and you got a box from oh
thanks for the patch mobile the City of Six Flags Police.
(20:36):
That's a cool patch. Man flipped up a bi collection.
Thank you very much. And Jerry, so I got a
picture it says, I want to put that up on
the John wore Miiller Facebook page. Day Uh a loving
memory of pearls. She got a picture of Pearl there
and the little older staying there. That's so awesome. We
you can see it. Uh gotta know, hey, John Boy
love you mean it and Bobby too so so I'm
(21:00):
sorry to hear about Pearl. Of those of you who
don't know Pearls. My dog is seventeen years has passed
away recently. Me and my family know all too well
the pain and sadness you feel whenever a beloved four
legged family member passes on. I've shed more tears over
my four legged family members and over my two legged
family members. John Boy and Clothes you will find a
(21:22):
little tribute to Pearl to me and my son Martin
put together for you and your family. We have done
many of these vinely inspired tributes for pets of family, friends,
and strangers we have never met. I pray the simple
heartfelt tribute to your beloved Pearl meets with your approval.
God bless the John Boy family. Jered smith Man, thank
(21:44):
you sing that all sign. It is so sweet man,
and I wanted to thank you. My wife tells us
to beat you and thank everybody all the listeners that
have posted a little deal about Pearl like It's a
link from the John Boy and Billy facebook page. Lapse
of of who we use over their pearls final deal there.
So yeah, and you can leave a little message at
(22:06):
his always took.
Speaker 15 (22:07):
Their time to leave a little thought and a kind
words to you, and it's very nice.
Speaker 10 (22:11):
All right.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
We'll put this little sergeant and this boy Martin what
they made for me. We'll put that up is John
Boy Billy facebook page. Right, Good morning, Big shows on
the radio coming up. We played John Boyjebty Winner gets
a hat, t shirt, tumbler and a twenty five dollars
gas card from Law Tigers. Law Tigers and motorcycle lawyers
who ride representing injured riders for over two decades. With
(22:35):
Law Tigers, you never ride alone. Just click on the
banner when you hit the Big show dot com. Hang on,
you went it in minutes. Well, there's always something exciting
happening in dismal Seep in South Carolina, and you're to
tell us all about it. As a mayor himself, the
Honorable Merwin Coo Fiddleswoop, Good morning, mister mayor.
Speaker 11 (22:54):
Yahsu Coley Merra, John Boy.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Are you spaking clean?
Speaker 17 (22:58):
On?
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Is this your way of telling me you're having a
star Trek Convention.
Speaker 11 (23:03):
No, sorry to disappoint, that's hello. Good morning, John boy
in Greek in honor of our first annual Dismal Seepage
Greeking Out Greek Festival.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Oh got you. That's great, first year haunt. So what
made you decide to have a Greek festival?
Speaker 11 (23:18):
Oh yeah, there's a lot of contributing factors. We've done
just about every other nationality. It was down to a
toss up between Greece and Macedonia. Macedonia is just weird.
All they do is drive backwards and bet their paychecks
on sports. If I wanted to see that, I go
to Charleston.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Does Does themal Sevage have a big Greek population?
Speaker 11 (23:40):
Oh no, we've gotta truck them in from a rental place.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Ahit a second, you're you're renting Greeks.
Speaker 11 (23:46):
You know. There's a place in Georgia called we Reek
of Greek. It's like a one stop shop for all
things Greek. I've got their business cards right here.
Speaker 10 (23:54):
Hold on a second.
Speaker 11 (23:55):
Here it is when you're up a creek without a Greek,
don't freak it to us.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
You seek Well, that is catchy. So what's on the
docket for the big weekend.
Speaker 11 (24:06):
Oh, we've got all the traditional Greek festival stuff, you know,
the food, the culture. Men with excess body hair and
one eyebrow, women with excess.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Body hair and one eyebrow dancing.
Speaker 11 (24:20):
No, I'm setting in my chair.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Actually, no, no, no, will you have Greek dancing?
Speaker 11 (24:24):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (24:25):
Why?
Speaker 11 (24:25):
Thank you for reminding me, John boy. We've actually gone
one better. We've got the touring production of the musical Grease.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Well, how does that have anything to do with a
Greek festival? You know, that's all fifties music and rock
and roll.
Speaker 11 (24:43):
Well, it would be if it was spelled g r
e a s e. This, however, is spelled g r
e e Ce like the country. The all Greek version
of that show set in Greece in the fifties, and
it's even performed in Greek.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
How's that going to go?
Speaker 11 (25:01):
I'm sure it'll be fine. John Stamos is starring, so
all the house frozz will be there. You know, John boy,
the Greeks were quite the athletes, so we're excited to
welcome Achilles heels. It's an old woman Greco Roman wrestling exhibition,
just like in ancient times.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
You know, unless I'm mistaken Greco Roman wrestling was done
in the nude.
Speaker 11 (25:28):
Oh well, my weekend just got better. And we've got
a couple of streets for the kiddos absorb of the Greek.
The human sponge will.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Be on human sponge. So how's that work?
Speaker 11 (25:43):
Well, my understanding is he's like a roll of bounty
paper towels. He's an old guy with extremely dry skin,
and apparently he just soaks up the water. That's what
happens when you don't moisturize. You gotta moisturize, John boy,
do you moisturre eyes? No, I'm straight. We've also got
(26:03):
Gregorio's racing goats ah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Kind of like the pig races we have in our
county fairs.
Speaker 11 (26:09):
Well, if the losers get eaten, that's exactly what.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Well, speaking of food, I guess this is going to
be traditional Greek fair.
Speaker 11 (26:17):
Oh yeah, Bett's pie, stuffed grape leaves, bahkla bah, and
we have a special eating contest.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Euro's Gyro is it eros and Gyro's the same thing?
Speaker 11 (26:29):
Yes? And no, John boy, this is getting strapped into
one of those big gyroscopes you see at the fair,
and while it's spinning every which way, you have to
successfully eat a euro. It's hilariously messy and not coincidentally,
it's located right next to the Greek porta potties.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Greek porta potties, you bet.
Speaker 11 (26:51):
Oopers poopas they look like little parthenons. It's a door
I'll be and we'll have a special ribben cutting for
Dismal Seepage's newest eatery, Mister Nico Runtopopoulos will have the
grand opening of the newest Pizza Runt with a special
appearance by the Pizza Runt mascot himself.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Hey, we know him, Ricky Sharp.
Speaker 11 (27:14):
Yeah, he's uh, he's quite a character. Yeah, not the
tallest sprout in the garden. Did you know his pizza
run outfit is the size of an actual piece of pizza.
You know, I almost stepped on him a couple of times.
He kept yelling son of a and calling me a
cherry picker.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Whenever that Well, those are his catch phrases.
Speaker 11 (27:36):
Ah, I see, Well, I hope he makes it back
in time for the festival.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well where did it go?
Speaker 11 (27:41):
Long story? I was trying to take a promotional picture
for our paper, The Dismal Times, and I had him
sitting on one of the racing goats. A car back fired,
and the last time I saw him he was headed
south on a gray and white pigmy goat named Gigantics.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Nothing sound good.
Speaker 11 (27:59):
So come on down the first annual Dismal Seepage Greeking
Out Greek Festival. I'll see you there. And if you
if you see a slice of pizza riding a little ghost,
call my office.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
God.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Well, let's play John Boye with I lovely listeners. Well
they hello, tigers prize pack. Let's review yesterday's question. We
found out seventy four percent of Americans say they do
this household chore every day, while five percent admit they
never do it.
Speaker 5 (28:30):
And what does make their beds?
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Make your babe all right today? John boyd Jepardy. This
word holds the record for appearing in more movie titles
than any other words. You're just qualified to Tatar Tamman News.
I'm sure you know one eight hundred Big Show told
(28:53):
free line we go, do we get a winter? We play?
John boy Jeparary. Next, good morning, it's a big show
(29:28):
on the radio. Were running to your Thursday morning. Our
feature track from the Big Show bed Box, it's a
playhouse entitled a Mexican walks into Toys r US, Mexican toys.
The keywords in the bed box is at the Big
Show dot Com. Right now, let's blave yes live across America.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
It's John boyd Jepino and now your host.
Speaker 10 (29:52):
He can't remember the punchline to the Mexican walking into
the toys r US joke, but he does know one
about a horse.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
That walks into a bar.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Why the long face? He's John Boy. I realized I
was going to be testing on my material very much.
Just say hey to Brandon out of Asheville, North Carolina.
Good morning, Brandon, John Boy, Hey buddy, welcome. You got
first shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning. Buddy, all
(30:22):
you gotta do is tell us what word holds the
record for appearing in more movie titles than any other word.
THEE did you say? Thief?
Speaker 11 (30:36):
Now?
Speaker 1 (30:36):
He said the he said v the ah, the wow.
Look at Brandon, We'll let see. I don't know it
sounds like it, but I ain't got time to go
back and count right now.
Speaker 10 (30:52):
I did the same Google search that he came up with,
and I know why he.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Got it, and it's not the How about that all right, well,
well find out why you're wrong in in a couple
of minutes, Brandon, you'll see how we feel about every day.
All right, buddy boy, thank you, we appreciate you.
Speaker 12 (31:10):
Man.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
All right, well, let's go to Thomas. He's down in Marshall, Texas.
Good morning, Thomas money. Yeah, hey, buddy. So uh, Brandon
says THEE. Boy, that sure does sound like it ought
to be it. But Randy says, no, it is not.
What word does hold the record for appearing in more
movie titles. Thomas, I want to say, let's see show
(31:36):
us love. All right, So Randy, why isn't it THEE?
Speaker 11 (31:49):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Because it's not?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Okay, Well, you said you knew why Brandon got THEE.
Speaker 10 (31:56):
I know because there's an Instagram, i mean Reddit topic
on it and a lot of people were guessing THEE.
It was the first hit on a Google search. All right, okay,
all right, so love Thomas. Everything's cool.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Love. By the way, these second most use word night,
then dead, then man, then house. How about that? That
is up and that's the man gone get him.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
That's according to the list that was researched by IMDb.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
All right, so y'all take up your complains with Randy. Okay,
nice afternoon, Thomas. You hang on, my boy. You got
a big old Lord Tiger's Price pack. Head down to
Marshall for you.
Speaker 7 (32:38):
Thank you, sure.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
By him on the hour top of your news. Got
oh a treat right on the other side, called from
mad Mix coming in hotting. Good morning, big shows on
(33:32):
the radio. Get this call, Hello, big you John Boyn,
Billy Man, mad Man Here, how's it going?
Speaker 6 (33:40):
How's it going?
Speaker 11 (33:41):
Now?
Speaker 6 (33:41):
Well, let's see, I'm a sixty year old heterosexual American man,
and despite what you might have heard, every part of
that scenario has got a pretty big down side to it.
Number One, I'm sixty years old, which means everything I
got hurts. If something quit's hurting, it's usually causes quit
(34:05):
working all together. Right, I should probably check to make
sure it didn't fall off.
Speaker 11 (34:10):
Right.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
Thanks to modern medicine, we're living longer than ever. But
tay the truth. Some days I can't figure out why
anybody wants it man. Number two down that list, let's see,
I'm a head of row sexual, which at one time
was the hottest thing going. It was easy to figure
out when you need to use a bathroom, you match
(34:30):
the plumbing in the stall to the plumbing in your shorts.
Here lately, America's got more flavors and a basking Robbins
wirehouse Restaurants used to have signs on the door that
said pointers and centers are.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Buoys and gulls.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
But nowadays a sign is a stick figure with a
poodle skirt and a handlebar mustache, which is the international semaphore.
No use trying to figure it out, Just do your
business and let some then as a thing goes my
big old bunt, no pun intended. Why where are we?
(35:08):
Number three I'm American, wish to hear the rest of
the world tell it means I'm the source of every
spec of evil on the face of the earth, even
though in the last hundred years we've saved the rest
of y'all from having to learn how to speak Japanese once,
German twice, and right now we're doing the best we
can to keep it from having to learn Arabic.
Speaker 11 (35:30):
Two.
Speaker 6 (35:32):
They say the Arabic part is cause we're always running
around the world looking for more oil, which is true,
but unlike a lot of other countries, we're actually willing
to pay for it. Number four, I'm a man, which
means there ain't a one of y'all that would even
be here if it wasn't for me. Gender neutral might
(35:53):
work just dandy in a college lecture hall, but when
it comes to bringing a next generation of knuckle head
into the world, you're absolutely gonna have to bring a
man into the protest in some way at some point.
That ain't politics, it's basic biology, which if you're in
college nowadays, I ain't surprised you don't really understand it.
(36:18):
So chuckles answer your original question. I'm a sixty year
old hetero session American man. How you think it? So
at this point I'd like to segue into the actual
reason I called in, but at the moment I ain't
got a dad gum clue what it was. And by
the way, that's another downside of the whole sixty year
(36:40):
old thing. I'll tell you what I work on it
and get back to you. So for now, this is
mad Mit saying support the troops, spare newterter you pet
seeing inis twice a year, Sat down, shut up, quit
a word in my life, John Bobilly, y'all have a
nice day.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Good morning. It is Thursday, May first, twenty and twenty
five big shows on the radio. It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 8 (37:35):
Well, well, well, it seems you can't pick up a
phone these days without having to push a button just
to speak to someone in English. If you've ever called
an eight hundred number for tech support, you wind up
trying to figure out what gunga din is telling you.
(37:56):
I wish everyone would just learn to speak English. And
if you've ever read the Big Show Facebook page or
listen to wordy Word, you realize that's probably asking a lot,
in some cases, a whole lot. Perhaps the problem is
we real Americans just take English for granted. We've been
(38:19):
doing it for so long we've forgotten how dawning a
task it might be for someone to learn to speak English.
There's so many don rules to follow, most of which
just don't make any sense. A friend of mine found
this on the Internet and sent it to me. It
was on the internet, so you know it's true. He's
a French model. You'll begin with a box, and the
(38:46):
plural is boxes, but the plural of ox became oxen,
not oxes. One foul is a goose, but two are
called geese. Yet the plural of moose should never be
mease you may find one mouse or a nest full
of mice. Yet the plural of house is houses, not hee.
If the plural of man is always called men, why
(39:08):
shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I
spoke of a foot, and show you my feet, if
you gave me a boot, would a pair be called beat?
If one is a tooth and a whole set of teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then
one may be that, and three would be those. Yet
(39:31):
had in the plural would never be hoes. And the
plural of cat is cats.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Never cos.
Speaker 8 (39:38):
We speak of a brother and also a brethren, but
though we say mother, we never say methron. Then the
masculine pronouns he, his and him. But imagine the feminine she,
SiZ and shim in all fanners. I have seen a
few shim in my head, But you see what I mean.
(40:00):
Let's face it. English is a crazy language. But if
we explore its paradoxes, we find that, for example, quicksand
is actually quite slow, boxing rings are square, and a
guinea pig is neither from guinea or remotely related to
a pig. And why is it right us right, but
fingers don't fing to think about it.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
You can make amends, but not one single amend.
Speaker 8 (40:27):
If you have a big box of odds and ends
and throw all of them away except for one, what
do you call that?
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Brother?
Speaker 8 (40:34):
If teach us taught, why don't preach us praught? If
a vegetarian needs vegetables, what does a humanitarian eaed? And
what other language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital. We ship by truck and sent
cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet
that smell. We park in the driveway and drive on
(40:56):
the parkway. And how in the world is a slim.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
Chance and a fat chain?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
It's the same thing.
Speaker 8 (41:03):
While wise men and wise guys are polar opposites, you
have to marvel at the unique insanity of English, where
your house can burn up as it burns down, and
you fill in a form while filling it out, and
an alarm goes off by going on And while I'm
thinking of it, if father is pop, how come mothers
(41:25):
not moped? Sometimes I think the folks who created this
mess should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
insane English.
Speaker 12 (41:35):
What a load of.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Who will good morning. You got the big show on
the radio. More chances for you to win coming up
after your news weather sports?
Speaker 8 (41:56):
Did this is fan your the arts in all today
Hammer Langerford.
Speaker 9 (42:02):
Norway after around to kick the Wolverine.
Speaker 18 (42:06):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great big hairring smoothie.
Speaker 12 (42:13):
And listening to.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
The Big Show with John Boy and Bay.
Speaker 9 (42:17):
There's a bond in this one.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
Good morning, it's a big shawl. Radio Thursday made the first.
It was on this day in nineteen twelve, just days
after the Titanic sank, Federal Ships Safety regulation was as you,
requiring all steamships to carry enough life boats to hold
all passenger. Brilliant good idea, said everybody, of course, as
(43:13):
of having after the Titanic and then the movie release,
Oh new generation enjoys the story.
Speaker 16 (43:23):
The biggest motion picture in history is now the action
Place out of the year. Toyko presents titaneg Squad, Evil Cow,
The snaudy Aristocrat springs a deadly trap. Can Action Jack
escape the brig of Doom before it fills with icy
ocean water?
Speaker 13 (43:36):
You're finished?
Speaker 1 (43:37):
Third class scallywag.
Speaker 11 (43:39):
That's what is.
Speaker 16 (43:40):
But wait here comes Action Rose with Breakaway Bodis Wow,
do that hour? Can Rose and Jack escape before the
giant ship disappears beneath the waves? You decide with ty
tanneg Squad Action, Iceberg, Flooding, Grig of Doom and Draw
Me Naked Art Kit, each sold separately new from Toyko.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
Good Morning, got a big show on the radio coming up.
We played Beat de Blonde for a Happy Herd prize bag.
Hang on, have fun with tat ear in a second.
Right now, it's fun with Doug Rice because it's on
track with Doug Rice every Thursday morning. About this time,
Doug experiencing his first year of retirement and we're not
letting him go. Good Morning again, Doug, thank you so much. Yeah,
(44:21):
I'm not really good.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
At this retiring thing. I keep finding more stuff. How
all this works out in the long.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Run, Well, gave me a couple of names. Man at
Talladegon Wow, as you're talking about the crap shooting, it
sure was. But there I had William Byron and Joey Logano.
There they are up front, all race like you said,
and then ooh Sindric he wins it. Lars and second
and they get shut out. And then Mayhemon sues after
(44:48):
the race, Doug, you take it from there, buddy, Well,
you pretty much got it there.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Austin Sindric was up toward the front in the last
portion of the race. He was never out of the
top four, so this wasn't a fluke win. He got
to the front, stayed up there, played it right, won
a close one at the end of the race, edging
out Ryan Priest at the time, and that's his third
career w his first win of this year. So that
(45:14):
means Austin Sindrick goes to the playoffs.
Speaker 6 (45:17):
Yay.
Speaker 5 (45:17):
Austin His two Penske teammates much better known and better
resumes that both have won championships Joey three and Ryan
Blaney won have yet to win this year. It got
worse for Joey. He had a top five finish, but
after the race disqualified for some discrepancies on the spoiler.
(45:38):
Apparently a nut came off of a screw that attaches
to the spoiler and NASCAR says, you can't have that.
Don't care if it fell off during the race or not,
it's not there now. So he gets penalized. He will
finish last. They also found some problems with Ryan Preeste's spoiler.
He was disqualified. He finished next to last, so a
(45:58):
big shuffle a few hours after the race was over.
These guys are de qued in their days. They might
as well not have gone to Texas. But for Austin Sindric,
big win for him. When you win in the first
ten races of the year, you can kind of coast
for the next sixteen to the regular season, knowing that
you've got a spot in the playoffs.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Well, looking at that, that's only the second Ford that won.
It was Josh Berry in the number twenty one car
at Vegas. You were out there for that, So I
don't know if that means anything, but only second Ford win.
Speaker 9 (46:31):
Well, you know, I look at it.
Speaker 5 (46:32):
I look at it this way. I think that the
Fords have raced with a lot of tough luck this year.
Ryan Blaney, I think by now could have won three races,
Joey could have won one or two, and they just
have it. Things haven't played out well for him. I
wrote Ford off real early last year and wound up
Joey Logano won the title again. So I'm I'm gonna
(46:53):
be a little hesitant before I proclaimed that you know
the Fords can't get out of their own way right now,
I think they'll be okay. That seems to have been
the pattern the last couple of years, especially with the
Penske bunch. The later the season gets, the more knowledge
they accumulate, the better they run it.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
We always always followed Denny Hamlin against the world, and
Denny finished twenty first in Talladega.
Speaker 5 (47:18):
Yeah, Denny was not a non factor. He also got
shuffled back. He had some not so good things to
say about Ross Chastain for pulling up in front of
them and slowing the line of Toyotas down at Talladega,
and they never got up toward the front at the
end of the race. I think sometimes Ross is just
the whipping boy for a lot of the other drivers.
(47:40):
If they can find some way to tie him into something,
they sort of feel like it's free range chicken and
they can blame it on him for everything. The truth is,
I don't think Denny Hamlin or any of the other
Toyotas were going to be a factor that day.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
And what about Joey Logano Talking on the radio, Joey
says a lot and these drivers, you got to.
Speaker 5 (48:05):
Remember we're we're we're able to listen in on the
in car radio. I am never offended by anything anybody
says because I don't have to listen and we get
to hear it. It's like being in the huddler on
the sidelines of another game. You hear everything unaltered. Joey
God ferociously mad at his teammate and the eventual winner,
(48:26):
Austin Sindrick for helping a Toyota Bubba Wallace winstage one,
and he just goes off on his in car radio
about Austin and it's it's profanity laden. If you go
back and listen to the edited version, all.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
You hear are beats. Every other word gets beat out.
Speaker 5 (48:46):
It's it's awesome. If you listen to the unedited version. Uh,
it's what did Spock say? He uses a lot of
colorful metaphors.
Speaker 10 (48:56):
So are they all on the same radio even though
they're teammates.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Do they have different challenge?
Speaker 5 (49:02):
They all have different champion. But Austin found out about
it pretty quick. Fox even picked it up during the
race broadcast, and of course they ran the edited version
right back, not three minutes after.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Joey went on this rant. Of course he said.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
He's kind of said, you know, I've not changed how
I felt. I probably shouldn't have shared it with the world,
but you know, he was upset with his teammate for
helping out another make He helped the Toyota win and
not Afford, and Joey went off on that, and you
know it kind of had to live with the consequences.
But you know, we're inside the cockpit of these race
(49:37):
cars with these drivers and we get to hear it unedited,
so you don't don't get mad if you hear something
that you don't like because you don't have to listen.
It made for good conversation.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Heat of the moment. You know, it just went off
for Joey. Yeah, just imagine you, like in a five
o'clock in traffic, you know, yeah, yeah, Okay.
Speaker 5 (50:00):
Dad, I don't want anybody recording that.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
So Texas Motor Speedway, why are we looking at down
Texas this weekend?
Speaker 5 (50:09):
You know, Kyle Larson doesn't finish well there. I think
he's only finished in the top ten like a third
of the races.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
He's run there.
Speaker 5 (50:17):
But he always runs well there. He leads laps, he
qualifies well, he's fast, he has terrible luck at that place.
I could see Larson getting through this one if he
doesn't have that bad luck, and he's my Chevy to win,
either him or William Byron on the Ford side. And
I keep saying this every week. Brian Blaney's got to
(50:37):
win a race. His metrics this year look really good.
They're fast. He's the one car on the track a
lot of times that can actually pass other cars. He
makes up a lot of ground. They've had everything happen
to them, but a meteorite hit him. Just get through
a race and have a clean showing little footnote a
(51:00):
car to look for Sunday, you won't be able to
miss it is the defending race winner. Chase Elliott is
running a solid gold Chevrolet to commemorate one hundred years
of NAPA Auto Parts as sponsor. I saw some pictures online.
The thing looks stunning. I don't know if it's going
to be fast or not, but they're going to sell
a boatload of die casting sock.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Chase out came missing some luck with Kyle Larson and
Ryan Blaney could use it as well. All Right, Doug,
we got you, buddy. You have a great weekend man.
Speaker 5 (51:32):
All Right, guys, talk to you next Thursday.
Speaker 1 (51:34):
All right, we will see you right here. That's our man,
Doug Rice. Follow him on X Riceman sixty one. All right,
let's play Beat de Blonde. Come on one eight hundred,
big show. You told free Line. We'll do it next
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