July 17, 2025 • 41 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll hook up with Lionel from Law Tigers to get his plans for this year’s Sturgis Motorcycle Rally.. - In honor of Art Linkletter’s birthday - we have a collection of things kids say.. - We’ll get back on track with NASCAR commentator Doug Rice as he foreshadows this weekend's race at Dover Motor Speedway.. - Arnold Schwarzenegger has numerous catchphrases - but not everything he suggests make it onto the big screen - we have a list of 10 that were rejected.. - Mary Jane will be bedazzled the few segments with some of her deep thoughts.. - and Mr. Sulu will take our last spot with his message about old spice…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
The Big Show's on the radio, and more big show
right around the corner.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listen to John Boyd and Billy and they're
big Show. I like the way they talk. They're funny
ha ha, not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John boy has a hard time
getting started in the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Ain't gotten the gaze?
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Got do well?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
By the way, it is a big show on the
radio where you wanted to be thinking about this first
I've ever heard the song. Remember the TV commercials. Sometimes
people do stupid things. It was just the background. Is
that perfect bumper music for the big Show? And it
has been over these years and us so get up
(01:25):
and read the day. We will probably do something stupid
at least once or twice. Do out these next four
hours of wonderful morning old school entertainment. Maybe the last
old school radio show in America. We were the first
(01:49):
to syndicate with music in several formats across this great
nation of ours. And they see the Big Show listeners,
A lot of you have been there with us since
the beginning.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
W will be there at the end.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
We gotta ease on the radio.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
You might have to widen your reach.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Get to know the John Wonmilly Late Risers podcast, John
Mobilly Facebook, Pagethebigshow dot Com. Good Morning, Big Shows on
a radio. First prize pack this morning. An assortment of
swag from World Lawnmowers. It's the best value zero turn
moores on the market. Got a three year unlimited hours
(02:38):
morning commercial grade Kawasaki Engines Heavy Do defabricated deck starting.
It's just twenty nine nine nine World Long, Tough on grass,
Easy on you wallet. Look for the link of the
Big Show dot Com. Listen up to three dates in
history where we're gonna categoriesh.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
And win that prize pot. It was nineteen ninety four.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Hank Hogan beat Rick Flair in one the wc W
Wrestling Championships around that time and sold Nature introduced me
and Billy to the Hoakster. I had a better handshake
than he did.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Oh Oh says he.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Might not have been tried. Twenty eighteen. The oldest food
discovery Sion has found evidence of bread, which was made
from wild grains and was discovered by archaeologists on a
dig fourteen thousand years old. In the black desert of Jordan.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
How in the world were they able to identify that
as a bread?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
They're crazy, crazy though scientists work, And finally, one year later,
twenty nineteen, an irrigation canal system collapsed near Fort Laramie, Wyoming,
was resulting in parching one hundred thousand acres of farmland
across Nebraska and Wyoming.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Then that water you got to have it out.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Wow, when one visit little buddy out there outside of
Sheridan was out. That's the whole thing, like you know,
that was the fights back there to get the rivers,
to get the creeks.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
It's just wow. They wasn't fighting.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
This was like you know, five years ago, look at Yeah,
I was still learning.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
So it was you and little buddy fighting number water.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Okay, all right, well there's that category is one eight
hundred Big shows your toll free line. Come on and
play out birds next Good morning, it's a big show
(05:03):
on the radio Thursday morning, go down of breath. Had
to run over get my water.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
We had a little fight.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well we got for our feature track from the Big
Show bit box always a good mister Sulu for old spice.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Remember that commercial He word old.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Spice hit the mid box at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Turn Outburst. Let's play Outburst. It's the game that anyone.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Can win, John Boy and Billy, we give the prizes
from the Big Prize per Let's go contested number one.
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing Outburst. Have a hurry up and guest time you
love the best time you love?
Speaker 4 (05:53):
What big shots.
Speaker 9 (05:55):
Let's say had.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
A rush from Matthews Carolina.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
What's up us?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Good morning rod other Day, Good morning Rezable. It's a
special day for us. You are hopefully kicking off the
winning beginning.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Man, I need to say that, better take it Rush,
he boy ah Man.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Let's say if we can get both of us SUI
three categories, get you the prize back. All right, okay,
in five seconds, we need three legendary pro wrestlers Ready.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
Go, Reckclaar Holgan and the Rock. Now we need three
kinds of bread ready to go.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Wheet, pumpernickel, sourdough.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Wow for the wind. Three things that need water to
survive ready to.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Go, humans, plants, animals.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
And then.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Winning the big old cries back from the world Lode.
Rush will get it to you over Matthews not far
from here. Buy all right, man, Thank you guys. Oh
god boy, hang on, I was just explaining. I'll go ahead,
sairy makes well when I break wind, it doesn't smell
(07:35):
that good breaking that's from.
Speaker 10 (08:02):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports.
Speaker 9 (08:16):
Thank you, John Boy. Good morning, boys and girls. I'm
mister Rubarb and it's time for another fun field episode
of mister Rubarb's story time.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 9 (08:33):
Free to bring the kids around the radio. This is
fun family stuff.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
Okay, what really?
Speaker 9 (08:44):
One day, Cowboy star Roy Rogers was walking past a
shoe store in Hollywood and saw a pair of fine
Italian loafers in the window. Roy was tired of wearing
cowboy boots all the time, so he went in and
tried them on. They were the most comfortable shoes he'd
(09:04):
ever worn. I'll take them, partner, he said, and wore
them out of the store. Well, just as Roy was
getting back to the Double R Ranch, a huge thunderstorm
came up. Roy ran up the driveway to his house,
but by the time he got to the porch, his
(09:25):
new Italian loafers were covered with mud. So he left
him out on the steps and went inside to eat dinner.
A few minutes later, a bobcat came down out of
the hills, snuck up onto the porch, and started chewing
on Roy's shoes, doing what chewing on them?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
My goodness, I know, sound like.
Speaker 9 (09:54):
Kind of like that Carolina Panther song. As luck would
have it, one of the farm hands was walking by
and saw the bobcat and frightened him away.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Now what did that sound like?
Speaker 9 (10:07):
Gee cat?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
See?
Speaker 9 (10:11):
But alas the beautiful Italian beautiful Italian loafers were completely
ruined shit. When he heard what happened, Roy was furious.
He grabbed his shotgun, whistled for his horse trigger, and
rode off into the hills in search of the bobcat.
(10:33):
An hour later, Roy and Trigger returned with a dead
bobcat slung over the back of his saddle. As Roy
rode up to the barn, the farm hand came out,
saw the dead bobcat and said, pardon me, Roy, is
that the cat that youed your new shoes? Maybe if
(10:55):
i'd have done it more like the song, I'll try
my pardon me, Growing.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Is that the cat cheating you?
Speaker 9 (11:04):
She's one more story. Since we've got all the family gathered.
A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that
read big lobster tails five dollars each. Amazed at the
great value, a man stopped in and asked the waitress
(11:28):
five dollars each for lobster tales? Is that correct?
Speaker 5 (11:33):
Yes, she said, it's our special, just for today.
Speaker 9 (11:37):
Well, they must be little lobster tales now, she replied,
it's the really big lobster, big red lobster tails five
dollars each. He said, amazed, they must be old lobster tales. No, night,
they're definitely today's. Today's big had lobster tails five dollars each,
(12:03):
he repeated, astounded, Yes, she insisted, well, here's my five dollars.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I'll take one.
Speaker 9 (12:12):
Well, she took the money and led him to a table,
where she invited him to sit down. She then sat
down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder,
leaned over very close to him, and said, once upon
a time there was a really big red lobster. Pardon me, rod,
(12:36):
I Cat, thank you for acting like you enjoyed mister
Rubarb's story time time. I'm mister Rubarb, saying I'm mister Rubarb,
John Boy.
Speaker 8 (12:50):
And Billy, you better wipe that smile off your face
or I'll do it for you.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Good morning radio, dumb right, good boy, man, that's a
(13:23):
big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
We'll get them to hands her over a temptation trailer.
Speaker 8 (13:29):
Man.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Hello, Hey, this hoint all my life on the final
at of Anyboddy, John boyn Billy here.
Speaker 11 (13:35):
I ain't say that, are you? Bagger all had old
driving knuckle dragon, heathol looking pervert?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Not much man, what's happening over at the trailer.
Speaker 11 (13:44):
Well, we went over to Delvert's mama's house last night.
It was her birthday party.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
He is Delbert's mama, says, I got Arthur.
Speaker 11 (13:54):
Ride, I sign you a side us and Ginger videing.
And if that ain't bad enough, every year I get
a mother they card from.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Delbord's only child.
Speaker 11 (14:04):
Oh, he's got a brother and a sister. They're both.
As a matter of fact, his brother duncan come in
from Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
What does he do for a living?
Speaker 11 (14:11):
He's uh, what's that? He called it a mechanical amusement
technician and what does that mean? He runs a tilto
world at wacky Land and Pigeon Port.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Well, what about his sister, you mean Punking Punkin.
Speaker 11 (14:27):
Well, her real name's Bernese, but everybody's been calling her
Punkin since she was a little kid.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Oh is that cause she's so key?
Speaker 11 (14:34):
No, it's cause she's got a big old round head
and two of her front teeth has knocked out. I
ain't to say it, but you know, Delbort got all
the looks in the family.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Uh, what does Punkin do for living?
Speaker 11 (14:48):
She's a ticket puncher at Reptile World in Panama City, Florida.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Well, actually, sunds like Delbert might be the successful one
of the buds.
Speaker 11 (14:55):
Ain't that a kick in the shore?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So it's Dunking and Punkin in. Delbert sound like a redneck.
Speaker 11 (15:01):
Nursery rhyme, don't it, And when you get all of
them together, it currently looks.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
Like one too.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
So how'd the party go?
Speaker 4 (15:11):
What happened?
Speaker 11 (15:11):
Well, we saw happy Birthday and she blowed up the candles,
and then she sat down and opened up what had
to be the sorriest bunch of birthday presents I ever
seen him alive?
Speaker 8 (15:22):
Like what?
Speaker 11 (15:23):
Well, Duncan said he wanted to give her a practical gift.
Something she could use every day. Yeah, what do you
get her a cart and advantage lights?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Big spender?
Speaker 11 (15:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
What did Punkin get.
Speaker 11 (15:34):
Her Irish tray from Reptile World.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
For a birthday present?
Speaker 8 (15:39):
All?
Speaker 11 (15:39):
It was the great old begging with Gary the Gator's
picture painted in the bottom of him.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I'm almost afraid to ask. But what did Delbert buyer
the gift of fine dining? And what would that be?
Speaker 11 (15:51):
A big old book of them McDonald's guest certificate. Of course,
as I know, he is a successful one.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Of the bums.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, so what did Mama say all about this?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Said?
Speaker 11 (16:00):
Well, she got real quiet there for a minute, and
finally she said, I got something to tell you, youngins.
It's been on my mind for quite a while now.
I found out about six months ago the man that
performed the ceremony at me and your daddy's wedding wasn't
really a preacher. He was studying to be one, but
he wasn't actually an ordained mister at the time. So
(16:22):
it turns out me and you daddy was never legally married. Well, hey,
I was up there and looked at one another for
a minute, and finally Debord says, well, Mama, does that
mean that all three of us are? She said, yep,
and cheap ones.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Too, poor ol Mama.
Speaker 11 (16:45):
She knew what she was in for where she invited
him to the party in the first play. Hey, let's
they're going hear me and the Hamburgler. It's fixing to
go to work? Are you gonna seek over later on?
Well you tell him, I said, Hell, know what you mean?
Y'all came straight a fire died.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Good morning, the big shows on the radio. Hang on,
all right, listen to you mog.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
It's time to button your yaps.
Speaker 12 (17:11):
Say, I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big, say, bigger than beg.
It's your normous Hey, he's adorable.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio for you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Thursday, you lot of seventeenth Dayton history was talking earlier
about old Hermit and Frog. Well it was on this
date in twenty seventeen the Muppet studio fired the voice
of Kermit. The fraud that was Steve Wittmar blamed his
unacceptable business conduct. Well, I'm glad I wasn't working for
(18:14):
the Muppets.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
Can you hear a guy going off on you know
it's co workers, Ask kermit the fraud this near.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It's biggy, What was he doing?
Speaker 5 (18:28):
It doesn't say yeah, he was doing.
Speaker 7 (18:30):
Unprofessional conduct, which typically means he's going off on the
other staffers or right, you know, like you want to.
Speaker 9 (18:37):
Back that ruppet industry is cut through.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
I've seen some.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
I've seen that movie.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I was making an unacceptable business conduct. We did a
remake to the old Muppet song from our own Terrence
Maurice Hansen.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
Manama, what.
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Manama?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
What Manama?
Speaker 8 (19:09):
What?
Speaker 12 (19:15):
When I was over and he called here, fucker, Melia's
capedy both you have the cab he be bopa.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Well, Manama?
Speaker 6 (19:28):
What Manama?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
What the hell?
Speaker 5 (19:32):
Banama?
Speaker 9 (19:33):
What Blona get store?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
While I was Manica rock baba her hell o h Manama?
What Manama?
Speaker 8 (19:58):
What?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Need a little about about?
Speaker 8 (20:02):
All?
Speaker 13 (20:02):
They that's gamedy back little Donald good lamas story.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Now we'll hear you o story.
Speaker 6 (20:17):
Man. I'm a what.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Man, I'm a white.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Man.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
I'm a believe the name when I.
Speaker 9 (20:30):
Tell me.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
Right of me.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
A man?
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Not my wife.
Speaker 9 (20:51):
Put up about I don't five gamedy done.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Man, my wife, good morning. I got the big show
on the radio coming up. We played John Boyd Jeopardy
for the Big Old Lord Tigers prize pack the best
swag in the biz, a hat, T shirt, tumbler, even
a twenty five dollars gas card. Philip at Motorcycle because
(21:17):
you might be winning the ultimate trip of a lifetime
styling in Sturges with over eighty five thousand dollars in prizes.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
And we got our man Lionel.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Lucky to have him partying with us at Booker Branch
Ranch last year and now getting ready to make somebody's
life even happier.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
I love when this happens. Good morning Lionel, Good morning five.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
Hey, I think my invitation got lost in the mail
because I'm trying to come back to the Booger Ranch
and I can't find it.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
It doesn't come up on the map anytime. Jackie, get
me there out of boy where you go have a
time of shirt.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
Go ahead, buddy, We're heading to Sturges again. And I
don't know if you realize this is the eighty Fish Annual.
This is the big Mama Jama. We're going all out
and I've pulled out all the stops. Not only are
we sending somebody styling and Sturgis. They're getting eighty five
thousand dollars worth of prizes. But I'm also hooking up everybody.
Listen very closely. I partnered with with Darren mctigg and
(22:16):
he is a world renowned tattoo artist. He has designed
us an eighty fifth annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally T shirt.
I'm not selling them, We're giving them away. The first
fifty people that come to the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum every day,
that's ten days of the rally, five hundred shirts. I'm
giving you all a free T shirt.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
An I know you're not coming.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
I know that you're not coming.
Speaker 6 (22:38):
I set your schedules. You got your work to do,
so I'm sending T shirts to the studio. I get
your mooint hooked up like we always do. But you
heard it. You come to the Sturgis Motorcycle Lot Tires
hooking you up with a once in a lifetime one
of one eighty fifth annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally shirt.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Man, that is awesome. Good work, Linels, so I don't
have to get my pace, go in there and bring one.
You'll take care of a second brand month.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
Well, I know you, I know your people, and I
don't want to deal with them this year, so I'm
gonna send it to you direct and make sure it's
handled that way. And I can't leave you out. I
really can't do that to a brother.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Thank you, body, We appreciate you. Well, that's that's awesome.
So I'll get eighty five thousand in prizes the eighty.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Fifth and we hat. I really didn't know it'd been
going that long. Man, that's awesome.
Speaker 6 (23:27):
Oh yeah, we're no joking this. I mean, this is
the real deal. We're going eighty five years this year
right now. We're a couple of weeks away too, so
make your plans.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
That's it man.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
So uh, y'all, we got prize packs of course who
are giving away. But you can also go right to
stylingin Sturgis dot com and of course we got it
fixed up on our website. Look for the Lowtiger's link
at the Big Show dot com and make sure your
name is in the hat. Even if you don't win
our trip, find the mayor of Sturgess as our boy
line will get you an absolutely free T shirt.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Man, that's awesome.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
We got you covered.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
All right Lyla, we'll.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
See you saying.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Man, We'll get you a new invitation booking brand Frances
this fall.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
We're having a.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Big shin dick buddy. All right, I'm on my way, buddy,
be careful love you mean it? Ah, y'all, Well, let's
play John boyd Jeopardy here, let's jump right in review
yesterday's question. According to the manufacturer, sales of this toy
increase by nearly fifty percent following the September eleventh terrorist attacks.
And that was g I Joe Today's John Boy Jeopardy.
(24:27):
When a waitress puts one of these on a customer's bill,
tips go up an average of eighteen percent, But when
a waiter does it, tips decrease by three percent.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Oh what is call me?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
You had been in the biz, Marsom, You're wrong. You
had to switch to Radio one eight hundred Big Show.
You told free line. See what you all got? We
go to we get a winner.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
We play next hurt me, Big guys.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Good Thursday morning, July you seventeenth Big shows on the radio.
Of course, we got a featured track for you for
the Big Show. Big Box is a good mister Sulu
for old spice. Search for keyword old spice. Hit the
Big Box at the Big Show dot comy right now,
let's play.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
Yes live across America.
Speaker 14 (25:43):
It's John Boyd Jeffardy now and now a man who
reminds you life is not a fairy tale. If you
lose one of your shoes while leaving a party, it's
not magic.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
You're drunk.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
I deal with it.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
He's John got I haven't.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
They hated Michael out of dunkin Oklahoma? Good morning, Michael.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Good morning?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
You got that man?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
We awsome here covering many states. You getting here on
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Michael.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Good to have you, buddy. So we'll let's get it
out Elsie. There you go, Michael, you are the family.
Speaker 8 (26:25):
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
So when a waitress puts one of these on your
customer's bill, so you got a bill, you're eating. Waitress
puts one of these, tips go up an average of
eighteen percent. But when a waiter does it, tips decrease
by three percent. Wondering Michael, what could it be.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
It's called cetuity.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
It's called gratuity. So when they write gratuity on the bill,
that's what happens.
Speaker 7 (26:56):
I don't know if he I don't know if he
totally understands, the whole thing would be similarity between tip
and gratuity.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Yeah, so, oh he's so, Michael, you're probably telling us
that a tip is known as a gratuity.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Is that what you're doing? Yes, sir, yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
So Jackie, well, she's she's got a lot on her
so she could have caught that, but obviously I tried.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
Yes, maybe she did. Well, let's well, let's see show
us gratuity.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Oh god, it if we still appreciate you spanning those
many states to get.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
In here, Michael, I hope you have a great day. Buddy.
Speaker 6 (27:40):
Hey, I listen to your show every morning, light clock work.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Oh manbody all right, yeah, alright, in to give my
all right, you answer your phone. Jackie's going to give
you another shot down the line. All right, Michael, all right, buddy,
thank you you all right, Let's go to Zach. He's
in Winchester for Gin. Good morning, Zach, Good morning, John boy,
(28:03):
how are you very good? Let me figure out. You know,
this is just one state beside of us, so we're
not going to a lot. Okay, Zach, what do you
think happens a waitress? I mean, what is a waitress
put on your bill? Older, you know what the heck
what you got him? I think Zach's got it. Let's
(28:25):
understand the other guys.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Zach, what is it on that bill?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
This is a tough one.
Speaker 8 (28:32):
But my fiance is a waitress.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I'm gonna say when he puts a smiley face on
someone's bill, all right, well let's see.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
Is it smiley face? You better grab her and marry
her quick. You got the big old prize packing coming
to you, Zach.
Speaker 6 (28:52):
Good deal.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
Hey, John boy, can I get out out?
Speaker 10 (28:55):
First time caller?
Speaker 5 (28:56):
Well, of course, you shout out and then we'll move you.
Speaker 7 (28:58):
I'm gonna give a shout out to my the Andy
Miller at Miller Home Service is keeping everybody.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Cool, all right? Is that the fair around Winchester? I
guess huh yes, sir? All right, good worry. I go
right now today, big show, buds, it's a bottle money hour.
Here comes on top of your news. Y'all remember Art
(29:24):
Link Clutter. He had a fun thing we all like.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Hang on, Well tell you back, good morning. It's a
(29:58):
big show on the radio. Ask you about Art Lean Kletter.
He would have been one hundred and thirteen years old today,
I still him as a kid. But Mom and dad
watch that show and the segment kids say the darn
to says that was a.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
Hot out of him, that he was great with them.
She was man, always had fun with kids.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
And I got something right here from Ralph Bradley tell
me about kids saying stuff. A small boy sent to
bed by his father. Five minutes later, Dad, what I'm thirsty?
Can you bring me a drink of water? No, you
had your chance, lights out. Five minutes later, Dad, what
I'm thirsty? Can I have a drink of water?
Speaker 5 (30:39):
I told you know.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
If yes again, I'll have to spank you. Five minutes later, Dad,
what when you come in to spank me?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Can you bring me a drink of water?
Speaker 9 (30:50):
Why'm not your father?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
An exasperated mother whose son was always getting in the
mischief finally asking him, how do you expect to get
into Heaven? It over and said, well, I run in
and out and in and out and keep slamming the
door until Saint Peter says, for having sake, Dylan, come
in or stay out. One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm,
my mother was tucking her son into bed. She was
(31:14):
about to turn off the light when he asked, with
a tremor in his voice, Mommy, will you sleep with
me tonight? Mother smiled and gave him reassuring hug. I can't, dear,
she said, I have to sleep in daddy's room. A
long silence was broken last by shaky little voice, the
big sissy.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
Let's see, I said.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
When I was six months pregnant with my third child,
my three year old came into the room when I
was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, Mommy,
you're getting fat. I thought, yes, honey, Remember mommy has
a baby growing in her tummy. She said, I know,
but what's growing in you butt?
Speaker 5 (32:24):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Win.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (32:29):
It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Well well well.
Speaker 12 (32:37):
Those of us who are starting to get on in
years are concerned with our health more and more these days.
The disastrous changes in healthcare costs and coverage are prompting
people to try and take better care of themselves. And
on that front, there's an amazing discovery making headlines across
the globe, a medical breakthrough that turns an average, every
(33:00):
day occurrence into a preventative health miracle. Brace yourself, According
to a study. Farts are good for you. Yeah, I
knew that.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Go over biggerness room.
Speaker 12 (33:17):
That's right. The fart, the barking spider, the slacks cackle,
the air breaks, the fanny fog, the moon yodel, the
beer echo, the bean sneeze, the cushion creeper, the cheese toast,
the taco torpedo, or the old Uncle Monty.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
Call it what you will.
Speaker 12 (33:44):
Researchers at Exeter University in England are alleging that your
garden variety stink whistles can fight a number of deadly diseases.
You see when you have you got an of course.
You see when you crack a rat, your body releases
a small amount of hydrogen sulfide. In small doses, the
(34:05):
health benefits are profound. In large doses, it leads to divorce.
But the inhalation of brown growlers is good for you
and those around you. The hard part is getting other
people to appreciate it. Shut up Tata. Sadly, for the squeamish,
(34:28):
this scientific revelation is an ironclad get out of jail
free card. For those with windy nether regions, your gassy
assi is no longer a public nuisance. It's now a
bona fide public service, a license to poot. In fact,
it's something you can brag about. It adds a whole
(34:50):
new meaning to the phrase tooting your own horn. I
will say that it's going to be difficult for people to,
how shall I say it, take their medicine. It's not
an urban myth that every skunk loves his own stink.
They're just not crazy about anyone else's admit it. Every
(35:12):
single person listening to the sound of my voice has,
at one time or another, busted a grumpy and was
instantly identified as the perpetrator. Why because you stood there
with a stupid smile on your face, breathing deeply like
you were passing a fancy bakery. Meanwhile everyone else in
(35:33):
the room scrambled for safety. It's ironic, isn't it That
all these years, as you sat in carpool or the
movie theater or the doctor's office and smiled with smug
satisfaction as those around you gagged and coughed, you were
actually doing them a favor. Sort of takes the fun
out of it. No pun intended, but it kind of stinks. Yes,
(35:59):
what was once can sit it rude childish and uncouth
is now the greatest thing next to pickled pigs feet.
So when your spouse complains that the sofa smells like
rotten eggs and dirty feet, you don't have to hang
your head in shame. You can remind her, with tears
in your eyes, that you're not doing it to them,
You're doing it for them. You're welcome now. When you're
(36:24):
in church and side cheek sneak happens, you're not just
sitting in your own pew. You're healing the sick. You're welcome.
When you're at the movies and that rancid popcorn and
you ate finally hits the ventilator button. You just saved
that poor couple in front of you from having to
(36:44):
sip through the last three hours of that stupid Quentin
Tarantino movie, and you help cure their sinus infection.
Speaker 5 (36:51):
You're welcome.
Speaker 12 (36:54):
When your wife cooks her eggplant surprise for your sick
neighbor and you just happen to launch a booty balloon
and put her off a meal. You spared her indigestion
and also helped devend off her scabies. You're welcome, So
stop blaming the dog hold your head high, proudly take
credit for those glorious stinkers.
Speaker 5 (37:17):
You're not cutting the cheese.
Speaker 12 (37:19):
You're saving the world.
Speaker 15 (37:25):
A lot better about myself, I know it. Good morning,
there's a big showl radio. Helly, you lindsay premise here.
Speaker 10 (37:39):
When I'm on this side of the pond, I get
my daily dose of culture and edification every morning from
these two delightful lands, John Boy and Billy right here
on the big show. You know, I hate to break
it to you boys, but where I come from, you're
all Yankees. Who will I thought it was Paddy.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Good morning, that's a big showing the radio. We've been
talking about birthdays. Well, Hartley Glater was talking about.
Speaker 5 (38:41):
Another birthday here.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Who oo.
Speaker 5 (38:46):
Phyllis Dillar would have been what you got a dater?
She would have been one hundred and eight today.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
She passed away in twenty twelve, and we we actually
got to spend some time with a great Phyllis Diller.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Was lucky, she gave back s true.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
We are lucky for Phyllis Diller's chili. There's one of
our studios who are uptown, Charlotte Jelly and ready, like
she said, up we went uptown like trade and try
on and set up and gave out free samples of
Phyllis Diller's chili.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
We had a big old crowd, yeah, and.
Speaker 7 (39:26):
I had the honor of picking her up at the
airport and being like a valet for her for the day.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
It was so awesome.
Speaker 7 (39:33):
But we get out of the car and we're walking
towards the crowd where John Boy and Billy already there.
They've already got a table set up and the big
giant fox and all this other. And she went, Lord,
I'm glad we're not going over there. Actually, that is
where we're going. And I've never had a woman grab
my arm as firmly and snuggled up to me and went, don't.
Speaker 5 (39:54):
You leave me.
Speaker 6 (39:56):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
She had a kind of a few of crowds, I
guess yeah about that.
Speaker 7 (40:00):
Yeah, but I took good care of her. She was
very happy as we left.
Speaker 5 (40:04):
His need sure it wasn't reversed.
Speaker 7 (40:14):
That's a great memory for.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Show this good times. Well another memory. Let's bring in
reb and goom hey, buddy, let's have to.
Speaker 13 (40:23):
Dare child Boy, Billy rad Dad. I see the boys
since since I was old, the squire eating Phyllis Diller's chili. Yeah,
that sounds like something you have to do if you
lose a bed.
Speaker 5 (40:36):
Yes, that's it.
Speaker 13 (40:38):
I'll eat Phyllis Diller's chili. Oh the Squire, they give
you thirty minutes to troll cry.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
We drew one too. We had boy, I'm glad it
wan't nobody rapped. Later that night I went out and
called her show John Boh she liked me, Oh she like.
We went back to her room. We went back to
her room.
Speaker 6 (40:55):
Kid.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
We had us a few of the office.
Speaker 13 (40:57):
You'll throw down though, Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
We started getting We start petting, we started getting.
Speaker 13 (41:03):
I start thinking myself, I might be able to get
this a little bit. Then, I mean, she ain't no queen,
but for goodness, say she's Philips Deeler.
Speaker 6 (41:10):
Here.
Speaker 13 (41:11):
We started getting it dared. We was on the couch,
always going to it hot and heavy. Clothes started coming off.
Clothes started coming off, and she started thinking to herself
to say she got a heart condition. She started thinking, well,
I believe I ought to tell Coober about my heart
condition in case we get into something real heavy here
and if something happens, always that bud. So she said, Coober,
(41:33):
hold it, stop right there. She said, I think I
ought to tell you that I got a cute Edgia,
And I said, why, I hope so, because he's the
ugliest breast. I've re seend him out here right quick.
Speaker 9 (41:50):
Joe can't got everybody laughing.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
I eat Phyllis Diller's chips.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
We got
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
The Big Show's on the radio, and more big show
right around the corner.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listen to John Boyd and Billy and they're
big Show. I like the way they talk. They're funny
ha ha, not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John boy has a hard time
getting started in the morning.
Speaker 4 (00:25):
Ain't gotten the gaze?
Speaker 5 (01:01):
Got do well?
Speaker 2 (01:04):
By the way, it is a big show on the
radio where you wanted to be thinking about this first
I've ever heard the song. Remember the TV commercials. Sometimes
people do stupid things. It was just the background. Is
that perfect bumper music for the big Show? And it
has been over these years and us so get up
(01:25):
and read the day. We will probably do something stupid
at least once or twice. Do out these next four
hours of wonderful morning old school entertainment. Maybe the last
old school radio show in America. We were the first
(01:49):
to syndicate with music in several formats across this great
nation of ours. And they see the Big Show listeners,
A lot of you have been there with us since
the beginning.
Speaker 5 (02:07):
W will be there at the end.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
We gotta ease on the radio.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
You might have to widen your reach.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Get to know the John Wonmilly Late Risers podcast, John
Mobilly Facebook, Pagethebigshow dot Com. Good Morning, Big Shows on
a radio. First prize pack this morning. An assortment of
swag from World Lawnmowers. It's the best value zero turn
moores on the market. Got a three year unlimited hours
(02:38):
morning commercial grade Kawasaki Engines Heavy Do defabricated deck starting.
It's just twenty nine nine nine World Long, Tough on grass,
Easy on you wallet. Look for the link of the
Big Show dot Com. Listen up to three dates in
history where we're gonna categoriesh.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
And win that prize pot. It was nineteen ninety four.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Hank Hogan beat Rick Flair in one the wc W
Wrestling Championships around that time and sold Nature introduced me
and Billy to the Hoakster. I had a better handshake
than he did.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Oh Oh says he.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Might not have been tried. Twenty eighteen. The oldest food
discovery Sion has found evidence of bread, which was made
from wild grains and was discovered by archaeologists on a
dig fourteen thousand years old. In the black desert of Jordan.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
How in the world were they able to identify that
as a bread?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
They're crazy, crazy though scientists work, And finally, one year later,
twenty nineteen, an irrigation canal system collapsed near Fort Laramie, Wyoming,
was resulting in parching one hundred thousand acres of farmland
across Nebraska and Wyoming.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Then that water you got to have it out.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Wow, when one visit little buddy out there outside of
Sheridan was out. That's the whole thing, like you know,
that was the fights back there to get the rivers,
to get the creeks.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
It's just wow. They wasn't fighting.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
This was like you know, five years ago, look at Yeah,
I was still learning.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
So it was you and little buddy fighting number water.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Okay, all right, well there's that category is one eight
hundred Big shows your toll free line. Come on and
play out birds next Good morning, it's a big show
(05:03):
on the radio Thursday morning, go down of breath. Had
to run over get my water.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
We had a little fight.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well we got for our feature track from the Big
Show bit box always a good mister Sulu for old spice.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Remember that commercial He word old.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Spice hit the mid box at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Turn Outburst. Let's play Outburst. It's the game that anyone.
Speaker 8 (05:32):
Can win, John Boy and Billy, we give the prizes
from the Big Prize per Let's go contested number one.
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing Outburst. Have a hurry up and guest time you
love the best time you love?
Speaker 4 (05:53):
What big shots.
Speaker 9 (05:55):
Let's say had.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
A rush from Matthews Carolina.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
What's up us?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Good morning rod other Day, Good morning Rezable. It's a
special day for us. You are hopefully kicking off the
winning beginning.
Speaker 5 (06:20):
Man, I need to say that, better take it Rush,
he boy ah Man.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Let's say if we can get both of us SUI
three categories, get you the prize back. All right, okay,
in five seconds, we need three legendary pro wrestlers Ready.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
Go, Reckclaar Holgan and the Rock. Now we need three
kinds of bread ready to go.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Wheet, pumpernickel, sourdough.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Wow for the wind. Three things that need water to
survive ready to.
Speaker 6 (07:04):
Go, humans, plants, animals.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
And then.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Winning the big old cries back from the world Lode.
Rush will get it to you over Matthews not far
from here. Buy all right, man, Thank you guys. Oh
god boy, hang on, I was just explaining. I'll go ahead,
sairy makes well when I break wind, it doesn't smell
(07:35):
that good breaking that's from.
Speaker 10 (08:02):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports.
Speaker 9 (08:16):
Thank you, John Boy. Good morning, boys and girls. I'm
mister Rubarb and it's time for another fun field episode
of mister Rubarb's story time.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 9 (08:33):
Free to bring the kids around the radio. This is
fun family stuff.
Speaker 5 (08:38):
Okay, what really?
Speaker 9 (08:44):
One day, Cowboy star Roy Rogers was walking past a
shoe store in Hollywood and saw a pair of fine
Italian loafers in the window. Roy was tired of wearing
cowboy boots all the time, so he went in and
tried them on. They were the most comfortable shoes he'd
(09:04):
ever worn. I'll take them, partner, he said, and wore
them out of the store. Well, just as Roy was
getting back to the Double R Ranch, a huge thunderstorm
came up. Roy ran up the driveway to his house,
but by the time he got to the porch, his
(09:25):
new Italian loafers were covered with mud. So he left
him out on the steps and went inside to eat dinner.
A few minutes later, a bobcat came down out of
the hills, snuck up onto the porch, and started chewing
on Roy's shoes, doing what chewing on them?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
My goodness, I know, sound like.
Speaker 9 (09:54):
Kind of like that Carolina Panther song. As luck would
have it, one of the farm hands was walking by
and saw the bobcat and frightened him away.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Now what did that sound like?
Speaker 9 (10:07):
Gee cat?
Speaker 4 (10:09):
See?
Speaker 9 (10:11):
But alas the beautiful Italian beautiful Italian loafers were completely
ruined shit. When he heard what happened, Roy was furious.
He grabbed his shotgun, whistled for his horse trigger, and
rode off into the hills in search of the bobcat.
(10:33):
An hour later, Roy and Trigger returned with a dead
bobcat slung over the back of his saddle. As Roy
rode up to the barn, the farm hand came out,
saw the dead bobcat and said, pardon me, Roy, is
that the cat that youed your new shoes? Maybe if
(10:55):
i'd have done it more like the song, I'll try
my pardon me, Growing.
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Is that the cat cheating you?
Speaker 9 (11:04):
She's one more story. Since we've got all the family gathered.
A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that
read big lobster tails five dollars each. Amazed at the
great value, a man stopped in and asked the waitress
(11:28):
five dollars each for lobster tales? Is that correct?
Speaker 5 (11:33):
Yes, she said, it's our special, just for today.
Speaker 9 (11:37):
Well, they must be little lobster tales now, she replied,
it's the really big lobster, big red lobster tails five
dollars each. He said, amazed, they must be old lobster tales. No, night,
they're definitely today's. Today's big had lobster tails five dollars each,
(12:03):
he repeated, astounded, Yes, she insisted, well, here's my five dollars.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I'll take one.
Speaker 9 (12:12):
Well, she took the money and led him to a table,
where she invited him to sit down. She then sat
down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder,
leaned over very close to him, and said, once upon
a time there was a really big red lobster. Pardon me, rod,
(12:36):
I Cat, thank you for acting like you enjoyed mister
Rubarb's story time time. I'm mister Rubarb, saying I'm mister Rubarb,
John Boy.
Speaker 8 (12:50):
And Billy, you better wipe that smile off your face
or I'll do it for you.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Good morning radio, dumb right, good boy, man, that's a
(13:23):
big show on the radio.
Speaker 5 (13:24):
We'll get them to hands her over a temptation trailer.
Speaker 8 (13:29):
Man.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Hello, Hey, this hoint all my life on the final
at of Anyboddy, John boyn Billy here.
Speaker 11 (13:35):
I ain't say that, are you? Bagger all had old
driving knuckle dragon, heathol looking pervert?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Not much man, what's happening over at the trailer.
Speaker 11 (13:44):
Well, we went over to Delvert's mama's house last night.
It was her birthday party.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
He is Delbert's mama, says, I got Arthur.
Speaker 11 (13:54):
Ride, I sign you a side us and Ginger videing.
And if that ain't bad enough, every year I get
a mother they card from.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Delbord's only child.
Speaker 11 (14:04):
Oh, he's got a brother and a sister. They're both.
As a matter of fact, his brother duncan come in
from Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
What does he do for a living?
Speaker 11 (14:11):
He's uh, what's that? He called it a mechanical amusement
technician and what does that mean? He runs a tilto
world at wacky Land and Pigeon Port.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Well, what about his sister, you mean Punking Punkin.
Speaker 11 (14:27):
Well, her real name's Bernese, but everybody's been calling her
Punkin since she was a little kid.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Oh is that cause she's so key?
Speaker 11 (14:34):
No, it's cause she's got a big old round head
and two of her front teeth has knocked out. I
ain't to say it, but you know, Delbort got all
the looks in the family.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Uh, what does Punkin do for living?
Speaker 11 (14:48):
She's a ticket puncher at Reptile World in Panama City, Florida.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Well, actually, sunds like Delbert might be the successful one
of the buds.
Speaker 11 (14:55):
Ain't that a kick in the shore?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So it's Dunking and Punkin in. Delbert sound like a redneck.
Speaker 11 (15:01):
Nursery rhyme, don't it, And when you get all of
them together, it currently looks.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
Like one too.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
So how'd the party go?
Speaker 4 (15:11):
What happened?
Speaker 11 (15:11):
Well, we saw happy Birthday and she blowed up the candles,
and then she sat down and opened up what had
to be the sorriest bunch of birthday presents I ever
seen him alive?
Speaker 8 (15:22):
Like what?
Speaker 11 (15:23):
Well, Duncan said he wanted to give her a practical gift.
Something she could use every day. Yeah, what do you
get her a cart and advantage lights?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Big spender?
Speaker 11 (15:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
What did Punkin get.
Speaker 11 (15:34):
Her Irish tray from Reptile World.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
For a birthday present?
Speaker 8 (15:39):
All?
Speaker 11 (15:39):
It was the great old begging with Gary the Gator's
picture painted in the bottom of him.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I'm almost afraid to ask. But what did Delbert buyer
the gift of fine dining? And what would that be?
Speaker 11 (15:51):
A big old book of them McDonald's guest certificate. Of course,
as I know, he is a successful one.
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Of the bums.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, so what did Mama say all about this?
Speaker 5 (16:00):
Said?
Speaker 11 (16:00):
Well, she got real quiet there for a minute, and
finally she said, I got something to tell you, youngins.
It's been on my mind for quite a while now.
I found out about six months ago the man that
performed the ceremony at me and your daddy's wedding wasn't
really a preacher. He was studying to be one, but
he wasn't actually an ordained mister at the time. So
(16:22):
it turns out me and you daddy was never legally married. Well, hey,
I was up there and looked at one another for
a minute, and finally Debord says, well, Mama, does that
mean that all three of us are? She said, yep,
and cheap ones.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Too, poor ol Mama.
Speaker 11 (16:45):
She knew what she was in for where she invited
him to the party in the first play. Hey, let's
they're going hear me and the Hamburgler. It's fixing to
go to work? Are you gonna seek over later on?
Well you tell him, I said, Hell, know what you mean?
Y'all came straight a fire died.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Good morning, the big shows on the radio. Hang on,
all right, listen to you mog.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
It's time to button your yaps.
Speaker 12 (17:11):
Say, I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big, say, bigger than beg.
It's your normous Hey, he's adorable.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio for you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Thursday, you lot of seventeenth Dayton history was talking earlier
about old Hermit and Frog. Well it was on this
date in twenty seventeen the Muppet studio fired the voice
of Kermit. The fraud that was Steve Wittmar blamed his
unacceptable business conduct. Well, I'm glad I wasn't working for
(18:14):
the Muppets.
Speaker 7 (18:16):
Can you hear a guy going off on you know
it's co workers, Ask kermit the fraud this near.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It's biggy, What was he doing?
Speaker 5 (18:28):
It doesn't say yeah, he was doing.
Speaker 7 (18:30):
Unprofessional conduct, which typically means he's going off on the
other staffers or right, you know, like you want to.
Speaker 9 (18:37):
Back that ruppet industry is cut through.
Speaker 6 (18:41):
I've seen some.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
I've seen that movie.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I was making an unacceptable business conduct. We did a
remake to the old Muppet song from our own Terrence
Maurice Hansen.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
Manama, what.
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Manama?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
What Manama?
Speaker 8 (19:09):
What?
Speaker 12 (19:15):
When I was over and he called here, fucker, Melia's
capedy both you have the cab he be bopa.
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Well, Manama?
Speaker 6 (19:28):
What Manama?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
What the hell?
Speaker 5 (19:32):
Banama?
Speaker 9 (19:33):
What Blona get store?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
While I was Manica rock baba her hell o h Manama?
What Manama?
Speaker 8 (19:58):
What?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Need a little about about?
Speaker 8 (20:02):
All?
Speaker 13 (20:02):
They that's gamedy back little Donald good lamas story.
Speaker 5 (20:09):
Now we'll hear you o story.
Speaker 6 (20:17):
Man. I'm a what.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Man, I'm a white.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Man.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
I'm a believe the name when I.
Speaker 9 (20:30):
Tell me.
Speaker 6 (20:32):
Right of me.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
A man?
Speaker 5 (20:43):
Not my wife.
Speaker 9 (20:51):
Put up about I don't five gamedy done.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Man, my wife, good morning. I got the big show
on the radio coming up. We played John Boyd Jeopardy
for the Big Old Lord Tigers prize pack the best
swag in the biz, a hat, T shirt, tumbler, even
a twenty five dollars gas card. Philip at Motorcycle because
(21:17):
you might be winning the ultimate trip of a lifetime
styling in Sturges with over eighty five thousand dollars in prizes.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
And we got our man Lionel.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Lucky to have him partying with us at Booker Branch
Ranch last year and now getting ready to make somebody's
life even happier.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
I love when this happens. Good morning Lionel, Good morning five.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
Hey, I think my invitation got lost in the mail
because I'm trying to come back to the Booger Ranch
and I can't find it.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
It doesn't come up on the map anytime. Jackie, get
me there out of boy where you go have a
time of shirt.
Speaker 6 (21:53):
Go ahead, buddy, We're heading to Sturges again. And I
don't know if you realize this is the eighty Fish Annual.
This is the big Mama Jama. We're going all out
and I've pulled out all the stops. Not only are
we sending somebody styling and Sturgis. They're getting eighty five
thousand dollars worth of prizes. But I'm also hooking up everybody.
Listen very closely. I partnered with with Darren mctigg and
(22:16):
he is a world renowned tattoo artist. He has designed
us an eighty fifth annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally T shirt.
I'm not selling them, We're giving them away. The first
fifty people that come to the Sturgis Motorcycle Museum every day,
that's ten days of the rally, five hundred shirts. I'm
giving you all a free T shirt.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
An I know you're not coming.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
I know that you're not coming.
Speaker 6 (22:38):
I set your schedules. You got your work to do,
so I'm sending T shirts to the studio. I get
your mooint hooked up like we always do. But you
heard it. You come to the Sturgis Motorcycle Lot Tires
hooking you up with a once in a lifetime one
of one eighty fifth annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally shirt.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Man, that is awesome. Good work, Linels, so I don't
have to get my pace, go in there and bring one.
You'll take care of a second brand month.
Speaker 6 (23:02):
Well, I know you, I know your people, and I
don't want to deal with them this year, so I'm
gonna send it to you direct and make sure it's
handled that way. And I can't leave you out. I
really can't do that to a brother.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Thank you, body, We appreciate you. Well, that's that's awesome.
So I'll get eighty five thousand in prizes the eighty.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Fifth and we hat. I really didn't know it'd been
going that long. Man, that's awesome.
Speaker 6 (23:27):
Oh yeah, we're no joking this. I mean, this is
the real deal. We're going eighty five years this year
right now. We're a couple of weeks away too, so
make your plans.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
That's it man.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
So uh, y'all, we got prize packs of course who
are giving away. But you can also go right to
stylingin Sturgis dot com and of course we got it
fixed up on our website. Look for the Lowtiger's link
at the Big Show dot com and make sure your
name is in the hat. Even if you don't win
our trip, find the mayor of Sturgess as our boy
line will get you an absolutely free T shirt.
Speaker 5 (23:56):
Man, that's awesome.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
We got you covered.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
All right Lyla, we'll.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
See you saying.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Man, We'll get you a new invitation booking brand Frances
this fall.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
We're having a.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Big shin dick buddy. All right, I'm on my way, buddy,
be careful love you mean it? Ah, y'all, Well, let's
play John boyd Jeopardy here, let's jump right in review
yesterday's question. According to the manufacturer, sales of this toy
increase by nearly fifty percent following the September eleventh terrorist attacks.
And that was g I Joe Today's John Boy Jeopardy.
(24:27):
When a waitress puts one of these on a customer's bill,
tips go up an average of eighteen percent, But when
a waiter does it, tips decrease by three percent.
Speaker 3 (24:39):
Oh what is call me?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
You had been in the biz, Marsom, You're wrong. You
had to switch to Radio one eight hundred Big Show.
You told free line. See what you all got? We
go to we get a winner.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
We play next hurt me, Big guys.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Good Thursday morning, July you seventeenth Big shows on the radio.
Of course, we got a featured track for you for
the Big Show. Big Box is a good mister Sulu
for old spice. Search for keyword old spice. Hit the
Big Box at the Big Show dot comy right now,
let's play.
Speaker 5 (25:41):
Yes live across America.
Speaker 14 (25:43):
It's John Boyd Jeffardy now and now a man who
reminds you life is not a fairy tale. If you
lose one of your shoes while leaving a party, it's
not magic.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
You're drunk.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
I deal with it.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
He's John got I haven't.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
They hated Michael out of dunkin Oklahoma? Good morning, Michael.
Speaker 6 (26:09):
Good morning?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
You got that man?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
We awsome here covering many states. You getting here on
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Michael.
Speaker 5 (26:16):
Good to have you, buddy. So we'll let's get it
out Elsie. There you go, Michael, you are the family.
Speaker 8 (26:25):
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
So when a waitress puts one of these on your
customer's bill, so you got a bill, you're eating. Waitress
puts one of these, tips go up an average of
eighteen percent. But when a waiter does it, tips decrease
by three percent. Wondering Michael, what could it be.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
It's called cetuity.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
It's called gratuity. So when they write gratuity on the bill,
that's what happens.
Speaker 7 (26:56):
I don't know if he I don't know if he
totally understands, the whole thing would be similarity between tip
and gratuity.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Yeah, so, oh he's so, Michael, you're probably telling us
that a tip is known as a gratuity.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Is that what you're doing? Yes, sir, yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
So Jackie, well, she's she's got a lot on her
so she could have caught that, but obviously I tried.
Speaker 5 (27:23):
Yes, maybe she did. Well, let's well, let's see show
us gratuity.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Oh god, it if we still appreciate you spanning those
many states to get.
Speaker 5 (27:36):
In here, Michael, I hope you have a great day. Buddy.
Speaker 6 (27:40):
Hey, I listen to your show every morning, light clock work.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Oh manbody all right, yeah, alright, in to give my
all right, you answer your phone. Jackie's going to give
you another shot down the line. All right, Michael, all right, buddy,
thank you you all right, Let's go to Zach. He's
in Winchester for Gin. Good morning, Zach, Good morning, John boy,
(28:03):
how are you very good? Let me figure out. You know,
this is just one state beside of us, so we're
not going to a lot. Okay, Zach, what do you
think happens a waitress? I mean, what is a waitress
put on your bill? Older, you know what the heck
what you got him? I think Zach's got it. Let's
(28:25):
understand the other guys.
Speaker 5 (28:29):
Zach, what is it on that bill?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
This is a tough one.
Speaker 8 (28:32):
But my fiance is a waitress.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
I'm gonna say when he puts a smiley face on
someone's bill, all right, well let's see.
Speaker 5 (28:38):
Is it smiley face? You better grab her and marry
her quick. You got the big old prize packing coming
to you, Zach.
Speaker 6 (28:52):
Good deal.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
Hey, John boy, can I get out out?
Speaker 10 (28:55):
First time caller?
Speaker 5 (28:56):
Well, of course, you shout out and then we'll move you.
Speaker 7 (28:58):
I'm gonna give a shout out to my the Andy
Miller at Miller Home Service is keeping everybody.
Speaker 5 (29:03):
Cool, all right? Is that the fair around Winchester? I
guess huh yes, sir? All right, good worry. I go
right now today, big show, buds, it's a bottle money hour.
Here comes on top of your news. Y'all remember Art
(29:24):
Link Clutter. He had a fun thing we all like.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
Hang on, Well tell you back, good morning. It's a
(29:58):
big show on the radio. Ask you about Art Lean Kletter.
He would have been one hundred and thirteen years old today,
I still him as a kid. But Mom and dad
watch that show and the segment kids say the darn
to says that was a.
Speaker 5 (30:12):
Hot out of him, that he was great with them.
She was man, always had fun with kids.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
And I got something right here from Ralph Bradley tell
me about kids saying stuff. A small boy sent to
bed by his father. Five minutes later, Dad, what I'm thirsty?
Can you bring me a drink of water? No, you
had your chance, lights out. Five minutes later, Dad, what
I'm thirsty? Can I have a drink of water?
Speaker 5 (30:39):
I told you know.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
If yes again, I'll have to spank you. Five minutes later, Dad,
what when you come in to spank me?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Can you bring me a drink of water?
Speaker 9 (30:50):
Why'm not your father?
Speaker 2 (30:53):
An exasperated mother whose son was always getting in the
mischief finally asking him, how do you expect to get
into Heaven? It over and said, well, I run in
and out and in and out and keep slamming the
door until Saint Peter says, for having sake, Dylan, come
in or stay out. One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm,
my mother was tucking her son into bed. She was
(31:14):
about to turn off the light when he asked, with
a tremor in his voice, Mommy, will you sleep with
me tonight? Mother smiled and gave him reassuring hug. I can't, dear,
she said, I have to sleep in daddy's room. A
long silence was broken last by shaky little voice, the
big sissy.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
Let's see, I said.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
When I was six months pregnant with my third child,
my three year old came into the room when I
was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, Mommy,
you're getting fat. I thought, yes, honey, Remember mommy has
a baby growing in her tummy. She said, I know,
but what's growing in you butt?
Speaker 5 (32:24):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Win.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Here we go.
Speaker 5 (32:29):
It is time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Well well well.
Speaker 12 (32:37):
Those of us who are starting to get on in
years are concerned with our health more and more these days.
The disastrous changes in healthcare costs and coverage are prompting
people to try and take better care of themselves. And
on that front, there's an amazing discovery making headlines across
the globe, a medical breakthrough that turns an average, every
(33:00):
day occurrence into a preventative health miracle. Brace yourself, According
to a study. Farts are good for you. Yeah, I
knew that.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Go over biggerness room.
Speaker 12 (33:17):
That's right. The fart, the barking spider, the slacks cackle,
the air breaks, the fanny fog, the moon yodel, the
beer echo, the bean sneeze, the cushion creeper, the cheese toast,
the taco torpedo, or the old Uncle Monty.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
Call it what you will.
Speaker 12 (33:44):
Researchers at Exeter University in England are alleging that your
garden variety stink whistles can fight a number of deadly diseases.
You see when you have you got an of course.
You see when you crack a rat, your body releases
a small amount of hydrogen sulfide. In small doses, the
(34:05):
health benefits are profound. In large doses, it leads to divorce.
But the inhalation of brown growlers is good for you
and those around you. The hard part is getting other
people to appreciate it. Shut up Tata. Sadly, for the squeamish,
(34:28):
this scientific revelation is an ironclad get out of jail
free card. For those with windy nether regions, your gassy
assi is no longer a public nuisance. It's now a
bona fide public service, a license to poot. In fact,
it's something you can brag about. It adds a whole
(34:50):
new meaning to the phrase tooting your own horn. I
will say that it's going to be difficult for people to,
how shall I say it, take their medicine. It's not
an urban myth that every skunk loves his own stink.
They're just not crazy about anyone else's admit it. Every
(35:12):
single person listening to the sound of my voice has,
at one time or another, busted a grumpy and was
instantly identified as the perpetrator. Why because you stood there
with a stupid smile on your face, breathing deeply like
you were passing a fancy bakery. Meanwhile everyone else in
(35:33):
the room scrambled for safety. It's ironic, isn't it That
all these years, as you sat in carpool or the
movie theater or the doctor's office and smiled with smug
satisfaction as those around you gagged and coughed, you were
actually doing them a favor. Sort of takes the fun
out of it. No pun intended, but it kind of stinks. Yes,
(35:59):
what was once can sit it rude childish and uncouth
is now the greatest thing next to pickled pigs feet.
So when your spouse complains that the sofa smells like
rotten eggs and dirty feet, you don't have to hang
your head in shame. You can remind her, with tears
in your eyes, that you're not doing it to them,
You're doing it for them. You're welcome now. When you're
(36:24):
in church and side cheek sneak happens, you're not just
sitting in your own pew. You're healing the sick. You're welcome.
When you're at the movies and that rancid popcorn and
you ate finally hits the ventilator button. You just saved
that poor couple in front of you from having to
(36:44):
sip through the last three hours of that stupid Quentin
Tarantino movie, and you help cure their sinus infection.
Speaker 5 (36:51):
You're welcome.
Speaker 12 (36:54):
When your wife cooks her eggplant surprise for your sick
neighbor and you just happen to launch a booty balloon
and put her off a meal. You spared her indigestion
and also helped devend off her scabies. You're welcome, So
stop blaming the dog hold your head high, proudly take
credit for those glorious stinkers.
Speaker 5 (37:17):
You're not cutting the cheese.
Speaker 12 (37:19):
You're saving the world.
Speaker 15 (37:25):
A lot better about myself, I know it. Good morning,
there's a big showl radio. Helly, you lindsay premise here.
Speaker 10 (37:39):
When I'm on this side of the pond, I get
my daily dose of culture and edification every morning from
these two delightful lands, John Boy and Billy right here
on the big show. You know, I hate to break
it to you boys, but where I come from, you're
all Yankees. Who will I thought it was Paddy.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Good morning, that's a big showing the radio. We've been
talking about birthdays. Well, Hartley Glater was talking about.
Speaker 5 (38:41):
Another birthday here.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Who oo.
Speaker 5 (38:46):
Phyllis Dillar would have been what you got a dater?
She would have been one hundred and eight today.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
She passed away in twenty twelve, and we we actually
got to spend some time with a great Phyllis Diller.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Was lucky, she gave back s true.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
We are lucky for Phyllis Diller's chili. There's one of
our studios who are uptown, Charlotte Jelly and ready, like
she said, up we went uptown like trade and try
on and set up and gave out free samples of
Phyllis Diller's chili.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
We had a big old crowd, yeah, and.
Speaker 7 (39:26):
I had the honor of picking her up at the
airport and being like a valet for her for the day.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
It was so awesome.
Speaker 7 (39:33):
But we get out of the car and we're walking
towards the crowd where John Boy and Billy already there.
They've already got a table set up and the big
giant fox and all this other. And she went, Lord,
I'm glad we're not going over there. Actually, that is
where we're going. And I've never had a woman grab
my arm as firmly and snuggled up to me and went, don't.
Speaker 5 (39:54):
You leave me.
Speaker 6 (39:56):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (39:56):
She had a kind of a few of crowds, I
guess yeah about that.
Speaker 7 (40:00):
Yeah, but I took good care of her. She was
very happy as we left.
Speaker 5 (40:04):
His need sure it wasn't reversed.
Speaker 7 (40:14):
That's a great memory for.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Show this good times. Well another memory. Let's bring in
reb and goom hey, buddy, let's have to.
Speaker 13 (40:23):
Dare child Boy, Billy rad Dad. I see the boys
since since I was old, the squire eating Phyllis Diller's chili. Yeah,
that sounds like something you have to do if you
lose a bed.
Speaker 5 (40:36):
Yes, that's it.
Speaker 13 (40:38):
I'll eat Phyllis Diller's chili. Oh the Squire, they give
you thirty minutes to troll cry.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
We drew one too. We had boy, I'm glad it
wan't nobody rapped. Later that night I went out and
called her show John Boh she liked me, Oh she like.
We went back to her room. We went back to
her room.
Speaker 6 (40:55):
Kid.
Speaker 5 (40:55):
We had us a few of the office.
Speaker 13 (40:57):
You'll throw down though, Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
We started getting We start petting, we started getting.
Speaker 13 (41:03):
I start thinking myself, I might be able to get
this a little bit. Then, I mean, she ain't no queen,
but for goodness, say she's Philips Deeler.
Speaker 6 (41:10):
Here.
Speaker 13 (41:11):
We started getting it dared. We was on the couch,
always going to it hot and heavy. Clothes started coming off.
Clothes started coming off, and she started thinking to herself
to say she got a heart condition. She started thinking, well,
I believe I ought to tell Coober about my heart
condition in case we get into something real heavy here
and if something happens, always that bud. So she said, Coober,
(41:33):
hold it, stop right there. She said, I think I
ought to tell you that I got a cute Edgia,
And I said, why, I hope so, because he's the
ugliest breast. I've re seend him out here right quick.
Speaker 9 (41:50):
Joe can't got everybody laughing.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
I eat Phyllis Diller's chips.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
We got
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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