April 29, 2025 • 45 mins
Tuesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Willie P. calls about something in his freezer.. - Tater runs down this week’s “What to Watch”.. - Barry White shows up at Jackie’s at 2:00am - and is turned down.. - Astronerd - aka Jokenerd workshops his ‘Wife Jokes”.. - The Mayor of Dismal Seepage is planning a “Yankee Go Home” Festival.. - Mark Packer checks in with this weeks update on the world of sports.. - Oliver goes to the beach with John Boy and Mad Max goes to a gay Mexican wedding…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'll wait here up my live don't hot ve herd hot,
it's home. I love ho hold I was hond God.
Everyone knows that's lad list is lud list is let
listen my god, hoado six, it's loud listen, it's left list.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Po Honey's Noah, God.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm coming up ring you No I know? Oh what
(01:00):
aga Ulu up and add them. Welcome to Tuesday, April
twenty ninth, thirty days has September, April, June in November.
All right, Tomorrow will be our last day of April.
You will celebrate May the first May day. Get the
poll out data on Thursday.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You don't know how you know? I have a pole.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
One if it ties in with National Zipper Day, that
we're gonna celebrate Yay day. That was first in eighteen
fifty one that Elias Howell, the inventor of the sewing machine,
received a patent for him has he named it Automatic
Continuous Clothing Closure. I think maybe the name didn't work
(01:49):
out for him, that he didn't get really credit for
his invention of the zipper. Well.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
In his defense, at that time, when you submitted a patent,
you had to be very speci about what it did
and what its function was, otherwise somebody.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Might Okay, he said he did not market it and
missed the recognition that he may have received for his invention. Yeah,
the automatic, I call it the automatic continuous clothing closure.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Eh, boys and girls.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Ah right.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
For the Zipper's national piece Rose Day, it's the light
yellow to large cream colored flowers. The peace rose have
slightly flushed crimson pink petal edges. Anybody follow that. They're
very pretty flowers. All right, I got it all. And
(02:49):
then when you get behind National Shrimp Scampy Day, we
under the delicious dish of shrimp cooked with butter, garlic,
lemon juice and white wine. I got a little shrimp
by put in the freezer when I got my sum
down the beats though, Sure, go ahead, peguard all this.
(03:10):
Let's do that. Well they're small, okay, Happy shrimps Campy Day.
We got three days in this ster saved up. We'll
get the winning beginning with those dates. Yeah, we're wake
big show's on the radio. Good morning, Big shows on
the radio. First prize package from the law Tigers. We
(03:30):
got a hat, t shirt, tumbler and a twenty five
dollars gas card. Lawd Tigers, motorcycle lawyers who ride representing
injured riders for over two decades. With Lord Tigers, you
never ride alone. Just click on the banner the Big
Show dot Com. Check them out. Listen up here win
you of this package. April twenty ninth, it was nineteen
(03:51):
thirteen Swedish born engineer getting in sundaybike of a Hoobocon.
He was a Hoboken, New Jersey. We just oh man,
he said, he patented the zipper. This is Swedish born
and we just hurt. Somebody will steal it. Know howse
here man stole his invention.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Lookay, we're gonna find out he didn't do the zipper,
he did the continuous closure.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I guess you're right. Well, let's move up to twenty eighteen.
Animated series The Simpsons surpasses six hundred and thirty five
episode count of gun Smoke, the highest number of episodes
of any series on TV. Homer beats Matt Dillon oh Right. Finally,
(04:39):
twenty twenty three, country singer Willie Nelson hosted the first
of two night ninetieth birthday concerts for himself the Hollywood
Bowl in LA. Guest performers included ly Love and Neil
young Snoop Dog, George Strait, Roseanne Cash, Chris Chris Starverson,
Nora Jones as she getting there, Chris Stableton' Tom Jones
(05:02):
and Ziggy Marley, among others.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Through him a party. That's what he said ninety two.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now then well yeah, that was twenty three that night.
Well there you go. There's that three categories one eight
hundred big shows you told free line use it. We
play out Birds next, Good morning, that's a big show
(05:46):
on the radio for you Tuesday. Our feature track for
the Big Show bed box headed towards Sinko, Tomayo. We
got mad Max on the Mexican Wedding. He Viggy words
Mexican Wedding. Run out Upburst. Let's play Upburst. It's the
(06:11):
game that anyone can win. John Boys and Billy to
give the prizes from the big prize being. Let's go
ma contested number one. This should really be a lot of.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
Funs when you're playing upberst have a hurry up and.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Guest time you love the best time. You love a
big shots. Let's say and from Boiling Springs South Caroling.
Speaker 8 (06:41):
Up we have a shots.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Good morning, Andy, good morning, how you doing so far today.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
It's fixing to be a better day.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I like your attitude. Well let's get into it, dear,
in five seconds, three items with a zipper, ready go.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Jeans, a backpack and a purse.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
There you go and there now give us three characters
from the Simpsons. Ready go, Homer, Lisa and Bert. Oh my,
and now Andy with and I. Three things you see
at a birthday party, Ready go the.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Obvious, three blues presents and a cake.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Look at you, the ball and springs, grabbing a big
old lord, tiger's crosspack, gash card, tumblers and cool swag
all headed down for you. And congratulations, awesome, thank you?
(07:58):
Buy how many hour? Top of you? And taxa's small
breaks to Willie Pee, Gonna yank somebody's chain. Per se
this morning we'll all enjoy.
Speaker 8 (08:11):
H m hm hm h m hmmm mm hm h h.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Good Tuesday morning. That's a big show on the radio.
All right, this has some fun.
Speaker 9 (08:51):
Well it be all just a funeral home, Yes it is, Yes, sir,
I was wanting to know the price of a real
good funeral.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
Well the prices range for around twelve hundred up to seven.
Speaker 9 (09:01):
Thousand, say they do, yes, Well, I always been thinking
about being my wife.
Speaker 6 (09:07):
Yes, sir, were you interested in one of our pre
planned funerals? You know that's the best thing you can do.
It sure relieves a lot of stress when the time comes.
Speaker 8 (09:15):
A Nasa.
Speaker 9 (09:15):
She already did, sir, Yes, so she already did. She
died about three weeks ago.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Three weeks ago, and you haven't had a.
Speaker 8 (09:23):
Funeral yet, a Nasa.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Well, where is your wife located?
Speaker 8 (09:28):
Well, I got it right here in the freezer. The freezer, sir.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
You can't keep her in the freezer?
Speaker 8 (09:33):
Well why not?
Speaker 6 (09:35):
When a person dies, if they die at home, you're
supposed to contact the authorities and an inquest should be
held by the justice.
Speaker 8 (09:41):
Of the peace. Sure now, yes, sir?
Speaker 6 (09:43):
Did she die of natural cause?
Speaker 8 (09:45):
Yes? I guess you could call it natural cause.
Speaker 9 (09:47):
Her sister was over here one night a two week
about three weeks ago, and cooked some poke chops and we.
Speaker 8 (09:53):
All got real sick.
Speaker 9 (09:54):
But my old lady passed during the night, and I
found her dead the next morning when I woke up,
and I didn't know what to do because I didn't
want to get a sister. No trouble for feeding it
in bad foak, y'all killing us, So I just put
it here in the freezer till I figured out what
to do with her.
Speaker 6 (10:07):
Well, so you need to call the justice of the
peace in your area right now. Well, you can't keep
a body in your home that's against the law.
Speaker 9 (10:15):
Say it is, yes, sir, Well, we ain't got but
about nine hundred dollars together? Could y'all go ahead and
bury you think? And then we could pay you the
rest later on?
Speaker 6 (10:23):
What did she have insurance?
Speaker 8 (10:25):
Yes, she got some inchance on a old car.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
Out here, I'm type of life insurance or a burial policy.
Speaker 8 (10:31):
Not that I knows of.
Speaker 9 (10:32):
She had some, but we had to cash it in
last year to get one of her grandsons after jail.
Speaker 8 (10:38):
And I don't think she ever did what you call
renewal it or nothing.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
Well, we don't have any type of financing. We require
payment for it before we can complete the service.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
Yes, sir, Well, could y'all you think y'all could just
store down there until we get the rest of money
to get How much rent would y'all charge just to
keep a you know, storager down there? If y'all and
if y'all, if y'all was keep I probably wouldn't get
in no trouble with.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
No, sir, we're unable to do that for any extended
period of time.
Speaker 8 (11:04):
Extended period of time.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
No, sir, we just can't do that.
Speaker 8 (11:08):
Well, I guess I'll just keep you here in the
freezer til we get all the.
Speaker 9 (11:10):
Money together, and then I'll call you back and maybe
we can have the funeral after that.
Speaker 6 (11:14):
Sir, you really can't do that. Maybe you should contact
another funeral home, maybe one in your area.
Speaker 8 (11:20):
Well I didn't call it.
Speaker 9 (11:21):
All of them right around here, and they all taught me,
told me to call you, that you was the best
around here.
Speaker 6 (11:26):
Well, I'm sorry, I don't think we can help you
at this time, but you do need to contact the authority.
Speaker 8 (11:31):
Well, you done got me scared and worried. Now what
am I supposed to do? You know?
Speaker 9 (11:36):
You tell me that you got to have all the
money and I ain't got all the money, and that
you want store and I can't store. You said you
got funerals starting at what twelve hundred dollars? And I
got nine hundred dollars? And I was wondering, why can't
I just thaw out and I bring on down there
y'all fix up and put it in you. Maybe your
cheapest casket down there, y'all could just let her take
in the back of my pickup truck and bury somewhere.
(11:56):
I would sell it that way. You know that ought
to cut some of the price off of it.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Sir, you can't conduct a funeral, your thumb. That's illegal.
What's your name, sir?
Speaker 8 (12:05):
Well looking, I got to goo. I don't want to
get the money to.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Get good morning. This will make Shaw on the radio
(12:39):
cries you guys for it. Here we'll go. It is
time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Wow, flibbity fluid. I'm old and I hate prom. Back
in my day, we didn't have no fancy corsage pinn
rented limousine riding stupid DJ jabberin slowed dancing but grabbing
high school foolishness. When I was a boy, prom was
(13:09):
a thing of myth and legend, meant for folks who
had all their teeth and only two eyes, and whose
parents weren't first cousins. The only time we had something
to dance about was when your pet badger Willie didn't
give you rabies, or by some miracle, nobody Peede and
your rain barrel, or that it was okay to butcher
(13:30):
the hogs because they aren't blood relatives, like last season
when Uncle Elma got licked up and got frisky with
the sow. It's prop time, It's prop time, it's moch off,
Dan and mob time. Oh, shut your pukes about your
piply face social leech home. Everyone knows that proming nothing
(13:52):
but a bunch of puberty poppin' hormone hot footing two
point five grade point average horn dogs, all gussied up
in rended clothes from the strip mall had fancy eating
on mommy and Daddy's nickel at the red labster. Well,
Ladie freakin' da, don't forget your glass slipper, Cinderella. Then
(14:17):
after the feedbag's been licked clean, it's off to the
main event. The warehouse behind the hardware store, all decorated
up to look like a grand ballroom if that ballroom
had been in some half assed carpenter's wet dream. And
the band plays songs no one can recognize because they
(14:38):
e't had time to practice on account of the all
been in county lock up for being perverts, And in
between songs you don't recognize your feast on unimaginable delicacies
like stale store brand bagel bites and expired vegan meatballs,
(14:58):
and you keep from hurland just long enough to drink
some raisin wine the chemistry whiz made in the back
of his toilet, and before you know it, in the
granddaddy of all ironies, your date gets pregnant on a palette.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Of Saltpeter.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Whoop ding dang do look at me, I've a spoiled
brat from yuppies spawn, eating out of the trash and
dancing the cover tunes from Peeping Tom and the butt Sniffers.
I can't wait to name my kids snap on tools.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And we like it. We loved it. In my day
that went no such a thing as.
Speaker 7 (15:36):
A prom, but we did have a big shin dig
for all the gradiots, and it was called that you
better enjoy tonight because tomorrow you're gonna wake up and
find out the real world sucks.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Dance.
Speaker 7 (15:51):
Someone's pappy would let us have it in the barn,
and we were too lazy and stupid to clean it first,
so all night long we were ankle deep in ransom
animal waste, which wasn't the worst thing in the world
because it kept you from smelling the food, which was
usually poorly clean chitlins and spoiled cheese that was left
over from the county fair the year before. We didn't
(16:13):
have no high Waiian punch to drink, just the spittoon
from the slaughterhouse with a bunch of straws in it.
We couldn't afford a fancy suit, so we wore the
one our grand pappy was buried in. But the funeral
parlor was cheap, so it wasn't the whole suit, just
the front pot. So we spent the whole night with
(16:35):
our pimply butts hanging out and yelling to close the
door because I feel a breeze. The band was just
your uncle toty tooton on a moonshine jug while his
fat wife kept time slapping a belly like a big
toothless walrus. And we danced all night like hillbilly lunatics,
(16:55):
until our bare feet bled and they got infected from
all the crap on the floor, and the smell drove
the hogs crazy, and they chased us down and ate
our legs off, and you had to crawl home on
your belly like a craw daddy all the time talking
about how much you loved the band. Wappity Wahoo, Willie wee.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Look at me.
Speaker 7 (17:16):
I'm a shoeless, genetic freak, wearing half a dead man's suit,
slapping my first cousin on the court hoole and sipping
stranger's stock through a used straw, dancing the poop foot
shuffle to the belly Bongo. I kicked my own stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Ass, but the hogs ate my legs.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Oh, happy day, and we liked it, we loved it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Uh gigglespit, I.
Speaker 10 (17:40):
Hate brom.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Good morning, Big Show's on a radio and more big
show right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Good morning, this is big show, Plastic Thurgeon, Doctor Harlan
p Win.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I fixed the Jackie.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Twins, Randy Butt and Smarty Marty's mad the man hooded.
Next up on the John Boy and Billy Big Show Life.
Oh for John Boy Ship extensions for Billy and Tata. Sorry,
but I brain transplanted a little lot of my league.
(18:17):
But I'll take a work at it.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I mean, what could it hurt? Go my man. Let's
(18:55):
make Sean Radio'll until you Tuesday. You can win John
Boys Wonderful Thing Number one hundred and forty Bill Belichick's girlfriend.
Speaker 8 (19:08):
Now, I.
Speaker 11 (19:11):
She can be a little pushy sores on TV. I mean, honey,
I don't know about you, but I'll put up with it.
Come on, man, Pat Man of.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
The ACC Network Big ESPN, of course, where Belichick is
coaching the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, A
little not along with his girlfriend as she was coming,
kind of been close.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
With Oh, she'll be there. She's shown up a couple
of times already.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
We'll get to that. The pack in the final hour
of The Big Show. Now my real wonderful thing. It's
a hard back copy of the book The Hold Truth
about Spring Turkey Hunting. According to ronnic Couz, strictly a
hero from mass Oaks gets your name in a hat
and we'll give it away as we get into Oh,
this final hour of the Big Shows. Hit it right now,
(20:03):
The Big Show dot Com, Good Morning, got the Big
Show on the radio coming up. We played John boyd
Jevity for a big Old World Lawnmoors prize pack. Hey man,
y'all check me out on my World Lawnmower at the farm.
Huh you got them up on the Facebook page sir,
all right, check them out.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
Man.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
We talking, We talked.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
About Yeah, I work on weekends. The best value zero
turned moores on the market. We're talking a three year,
unlimited hours warning commercial grade Kawasaki Engines, heavy dudey fabricated
deck starting at just twenty nine to nine nine, world long,
tough phone, grass, easy on your wallet. Look for the
link at the Big Show dot com. Check me out
(20:45):
of my world lawn at the John Boynbillie Facebook page.
All right, hang on and play for it in minutes.
Where right now from the desk of Taylor Tainment News
is what to watch. Here's our girl, Marcia TAYTORURM my ram.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
Let's see what people were watching at the box office
the top five movies from this weekend. Sinners dominated the
box office for its second weekend in a row.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
You might be thinking, what is Sinners?
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Well, Sinners is a horror movie that has stars Michael B.
Jordan and Hailey Steinfeld. And she's from She was in
the True Grit movie the remake.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
She was the girl girl.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Yes, well she's all grown up now she's engaged to
Josh Allen and the movie was about.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
A quarterback bills.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Yeah, they're a thing.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Well, Sinners is about brothers who returned to their hometown
in Mississippi to start over and run into a bunch
of vampires.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So I was wonder about us A Michael Jordan movie.
They're trying to kill him somewhere or the.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Other, right, So this is yeah, I mean, I'm sure
he has his shirt off at some point.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Too lucky.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
All right.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Meanwhile, Disney's re release of Star Wars Episode three, Revenge.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Of the Sith Sith.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
The twentieth Anniversary, came in second place, barely, I mean
only by a couple hundred thousand feet out The Accountant two,
which debuted a number three. A Minecraft movie, What's supposed
to be a pause there? A Minecraft movie came in
fourth place, and rounding out the top five was the
movie Until Dawn, which was about you know, Clover, that
(22:20):
girl and her friends who go to the remote area
where her sister disappeared and they run into a mass
killer and he starts picking them off one by one.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, that movie came in fifth. All right, what's coming
out this Friday?
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Thunderbolts.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
This stars Florence Pugh, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Wyatt Russell, and
David Harbor. It's a world without the Avengers, don't you know.
And we have a new group of superheroes. Maybe it's
a group of supervillains, super villains from the I know
I'm talking too fast, a group of supervillains from the
Marvel Cinematic universe. And they are recruited to go on
(22:59):
missions for the government, and Mayhem ensues. It's it's kind
of a comedy action movie. Yeah, she plays the agent
to charge. But yeah, David Ferber, he's very funny. He's
from Stranger Things. He played the sheriff, Yeah, and Stranger
Things that he's very funny.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
It's bad Santam all right.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
Also out this weekend, The Surfer. It's a psychological thriller.
It stars Nicholas Cage and he's a man who returns
to his childhood beach with his son to go surfing
and they run into locals that don't want their.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Kind on their turf.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
It escalates and he snaps and mayhem and follows.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
So all right, I want to make one suggestion for you, Johnny.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
You've got Hulu, So go to Hulu. My name is Earl.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
All seasons you can sit and binge watching It's held
out really well?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Feel funny for you?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
And that his hot girlfriend from went to East Carolina
University the early years. She's much hot.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Yeah, five years ago, wasn't it?
Speaker 8 (23:56):
Like?
Speaker 12 (23:58):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Streaming, I mean I been covered up, you know, just
kind of getting over jetlag from bringing the floods to
Italy and Lioness Special Ops. Lioness is two seasons are
streaming on Paramount Plus. It's a tailor sharedan series, So
I wanted to let you know about that. It has
always selled Donna in it, Nicole Kidman, Morgan Freeman, they're
fighting the war on terror.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
It's pretty good. Perty good.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Tady Charny got him some stuff out.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Then K been busy. So y'all go watch something.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yeah, well, thank you very much, jam Mark. Well, let's
get us a winner. Let's play a John Boy jepary
review yesterday's question. We found out there around two hundred
and fifty different performers currently on the contract to portray
this well known corporate mascot. Every performer must have greated
some very strict rules, like they cannot hug children, they
cannot promote any food products, they can never ever reveal
(24:50):
their out of costume identity.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
Oh, who is Ronald McDonald?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Ronald McDonald and a whole list of other things as
he can do when you're dressed up like that clown.
Today's John Moore Jeopardy. With an average lifespan of up
to fifty years, this modern household device holds a title
as the longest lasting part of your home.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
Eh, what is the garbage disposal? I have no reason
for that. I just wanted to guess.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Okay, well, no, what's y'all got one eight hundred? Big Shaw?
You told free Line, we go to we get a winter,
We play John Bore Jeopardy. I got it? Okay? Next,
(26:02):
Good morning. That's a Big show on the radio. We
are rolling through your Tuesday, April twenty ninth, our feature
track from The Big Show, bid Box Mad Max on
the Mexican Wedding. There's a key words Mexican wedding. When
he hit the bed box at the Big Show dot
comy right now, let's play Yes live across America. It's
(26:23):
John Boyjevity and now your host.
Speaker 13 (26:27):
From what he's seen, about ninety percent of being married
is just yelling what from another room he's John Boyd.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, and I worked sunder Lady. Let's say hey to
Aubrey at a Ridgeway, Virginia. Good morning, Aubrey, Good morning, sir,
Hey buddy, welcome. Alright, Ho, you got the first shot
at John boyjevity this morning. With an average lifespan up
to fifty years, this modern household of ice holds a
(26:59):
time was the longest lasting part of your home. What
was you thinking, Aubrey?
Speaker 6 (27:05):
Well, uh, cast iron skill.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
It cast iron skillet, I hear you. Let's say that
was very specific. I don't think everybody has a cast
iron skillet. Certainly modern, you know, ye modern? Yeah, we
(27:29):
lock him. Hey, Aubrey, we appreciate you playing, buddy. You
have a great.
Speaker 8 (27:32):
Day, all right, sir, first time?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Oh man, Thank you buddy.
Speaker 12 (27:39):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Let's go to Scott. He's in Bobby Tennessee. Good morning, Scott, morning,
big show. No, buddy, what you say Jackie? Oh I
thought Jackie hollered from I said, oh ty, don't you hollered? What? What? Alright? Scott?
You up there? Buddy, household device, modern household device and
(28:04):
last up to fifty years, longest part of your home.
What you got? I'm gonna guess a toilet. You are
guessing a toilet and you are got your toilet there
(28:29):
fifty years. You got your refrigerator last about eighteen years.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
It's this itason on my SAMSUNGR loven Or stove seventeen years,
dishwasher twelve years should last, and then freezer.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Coming in about twenty years on the old freezer. Nice. Okay,
y'all got that? Yeah, okay, you'll be testing on this
material later. Scott, you hang right where you are, buddy.
Jackie gonna hook you up with a big old world
long prize pack cornor I get a shot out?
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Oh yeah, cash, Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
The air bike knows me at the big show? And
if I give you my phone number, can you get it.
Speaker 12 (29:11):
The whole Because I work in a body shop too.
Speaker 11 (29:13):
He may be needing a good body or another.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
If you hadn't jumped him. Yeah, we can hook you
up on that. Jackie. You got this, I Scott, and
you hang on, Buddy. I appreciate it. Why the oney
hour drop of your news yesterday? Deal with Ronald McDonald,
(29:38):
Gonna deal with Berry White narbage, Jackie h Good morning
(30:18):
This Week show on the radio, All I learned a
lot about Ronald McDonald lost God for McDonald. Remember when
Verry White, you know, briefly, was doing commercials me and
an Arby spokesperson. I wonder why that didn't last? And
then I think about this.
Speaker 14 (30:43):
Wow, look who decided to finally pay a visit the
round mound of sound?
Speaker 8 (30:50):
What did you do?
Speaker 14 (30:51):
Come by to pick up your mail?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Oh lord, here we go next to me.
Speaker 14 (30:58):
You want to lie down, get a big ass out
on the sofa and lie down in the living room.
Don't be coming in here with that, oh baby stuff
with me.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You hear what I'm saying.
Speaker 14 (31:10):
Yeah, you got no idea how it feels. Either you
ain't been hearing so long, or you could just keep
your big, old, nasty ass hands to yourself. No, no, no,
I ain't trying to hear that. You think you can
just come in here with that. I love you, and
everything's gonna be all right.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Whatever.
Speaker 14 (31:34):
Run your fingers through your own hair, Betty, Yet, how
about running some shampoo through that nasty hair. That stuff's
so greasy it looks like it's got about eleven herbs
and spices. And speaking of food, did you bring me
some Arby's coupon?
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Could you do that for your wife?
Speaker 14 (31:48):
I saw your new video on bet I saw that
little tramp singing ooh baby baby. I bet you bought
her some Arvey's coupon. You better ease up out of
my face before something.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Bad happen to you. Closer.
Speaker 14 (32:02):
What is that nasty smelling stuff you're wearing. Hey, it's
called cologne, not marinate. You're choky, all right, that's it.
Take your very white ass down to the holidays and
don't come back up here. So you got some Arby's
kupons and some rent money, Okay, then get the funk
out of my face.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Good morning. That's a big showing a radio right then.
I don't know about twenty minutes, Mayor of Dismal sabers
a big Yankee go home festival right now. Alright, he's
back with some new material. Please stay tuned anyway and
(33:11):
we'll all suffer along together. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
your headliner, joke Nerd with wit. What's the HAPs my nestles?
And I'm gonna try the urban comic thing? Are you
no seet? John Boy?
Speaker 7 (33:28):
In the comedy business, you have to reach out to
the young people. Through the language they most easily understand.
I'm merely employing the lingo do shore word, damn play
a well done? AnyWho, Hey, folks, it's great to be here.
I gotta go somewhere. Yeah, my marriage is on the
(33:49):
rocks again. My wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
That timing was spot on. A friend asked me, my
wife and I fight all the time. I said, I
don't know. She never tells me a little late.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
You know, I thought I married miss right. I just
didn't know.
Speaker 7 (34:12):
Her first name was always that is all the money.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Keep with that.
Speaker 7 (34:19):
I guess it's not all her fault, you know. She
asked me, will you still love me when my hair
is gray? I said, why not? I've made it through
the other forty three colors. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Friends say you should take her out more. No thanks.
Speaker 7 (34:33):
Going to a party with your wife is like going
fishing with a game warden.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Shut up, I know what I said.
Speaker 7 (34:41):
That's kind of true, thank you. That's where comedy comes from,
John boy, there's truth in it. I live like I'm
going back to my self. I live like a medieval night.
Every night I go to sleep with a battle axe
by my side, turn into a feminist. Now she's always
(35:03):
trying to change me. She says, you need to get
in touch with your feminine side. So I wrecked the car.
Speaker 8 (35:10):
Hio.
Speaker 7 (35:13):
I've always managed to keep my trim figure over the years.
I wish I could say the same for my wife.
When she said she believed in love at first sight,
I didn't know she was talking about the dessert menu
and we go. You know, I took my wife to
the Super Bowl once she brought a spoon. My wife's
(35:39):
got someone, thank you. My wife's got so many double chins.
It looks like she's looking at you over a stack
of pancakes. Shut up, Pater, I thought you're on my side.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
I'm not saying my wife is fat.
Speaker 7 (35:52):
But when we go to the opera, no one will
leave until she's saying, because.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
It's not over until. So is this your wife said?
Speaker 8 (36:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (36:05):
This just my warm up. I got like twenty minutes
of the church bulletin. Bloopers is great stuff. I'm sure
it might have been mailed and drums. I had to
try it. How about just give us your best joke
as a closer.
Speaker 7 (36:19):
That's tough, John boy got so much rich material to
mine here, Okay, there's these two non binary albino aborigines
that are ordering at Chipotle. No, oh, wouch, let's see here. Okay,
try this one. A communist goes into Starbucks and peas
in the corner.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
No, don't you have anything that isn't offensive? Fine, all right.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
I was walking down the street with my friend and
there's an Italian organ grinder with a monkey, and my
friend puts a twenty dollars bill in his cup. I said, hey,
I thought you didn't like Italians, and he said, I don't,
but they're so adorable when they're.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Little something that some offensive? Are you Italian?
Speaker 8 (37:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Now, what's your beat? I put a monkey in it
for you? Damn it, damn play out? Well done day,
Good morning everybody. The Big Show is on the radio. Hangout.
We're gonna show our acting jobs coming up.
Speaker 15 (37:23):
I'm not an actor, damn you. I'm a movie stop.
I did one play in summer stuff. I have one line.
I forgot it.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Thank god I can write down old my beats.
Speaker 10 (37:41):
I'm the dump Boy and Billy big Shoe.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Good morning, It's Big Show on the radio. You having
a birthday today, Happy birthday. You are sharing one with
Willy Nelson, Willie a little bit ago Willen ninety two
years old today. If you want to preserve something, either
smoking or soaking an alcohol.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
I saw a thing on social media that said, huh,
I rethought this. I follow Richard Simmons who's already passed away.
Or I could live like Keith Richards and Willie Nelson
lived in my nineties.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That's crazy, not the picture of health.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
But sure are outliving a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Is he like?
Speaker 8 (38:53):
All right?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Has he got.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Anything nothing reported?
Speaker 14 (38:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:57):
I know he's still doing shows and.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
With comedian Jerry SimPEL is seventy one years old today?
Speaker 8 (39:06):
What's up with that?
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Michelle five for sixty seven years old today?
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Still looking good?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Uma Thurman got to kill Bill Fame? Fit your five
old number, Nichols see Jay Cartler retired quarterback for the
Chicago Bears forty two, Dwayne Allen No, Gridgemore is eighty two? Wow?
Jan Brady eve Plum sixty seven years old today? March Yeah?
(39:38):
Who is Marsha? I don't know what about Kate Mulgrew.
Who's that that? Somebody? Ol Star Trek? I just don't
order up there. Tommy James? Is that Tommy James and
Shandale seventy eight years old. He owns says he owns
his old record label should be uh all right bo
(40:02):
and seven time NASCAR champion Dale earn Hart would have
been seventy four years old today. So young. I know
that's something man. That final that wreck Daytona that was
two thousand and one. About that, all right, y'all? Well,
mainly happy birthday? Do you hang on? Big Show? Rolls
(40:23):
on the Mayor Dismal seepinge in minutes. Good morning, I
got the Big Show on the radio coming up. We
played Beat the Blonde. You can win one hundred and
twenty dollars worth of Bullsnot cleaning products made in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving and bullsnot make sure they
look good doing it. Look for Bullsnoping truck stops across
America or download the bullsnotapp. Go to the Big Show
(40:46):
dot com. Click on that banner, get you all the
info you need. Hang on win it in minutes. Well,
there's always something exciting happening in Dismal seep in South Carolina.
Here to tell us all about it, as the honorable
Mayor himself. When coup Fiddle swoop. Good morning, mister Mayor.
Speaker 12 (41:03):
Good morning John Boy at all your wonderful listeners. Well,
this weekend we're really pulling out all the stops with
an all new, all exciting event. It's the first annual
Dismal Seepach Yankee Go Home Festival.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Wow, that was what was the inspiration for this one, Mayor?
Speaker 12 (41:20):
Well, you know, life experience. I think all of us
here in the South have suffered from Northerner exposure. They
come down here in droves like rats, abandoning a sinking
shit and then tell everyone how they did things up north.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Well, how do you respond when they say that?
Speaker 12 (41:35):
I say, well, if it's so great, what the hell
are you doing down here? And it's in the spirit
of that well crafted retort that we're celebrating this weekend.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
So exactly what happens at a Yankee Go Home Festival?
Speaker 12 (41:49):
That's a great question, John Boy. Well, the weekend kicks
off with a big parade guaranteed to horrify and repel
any and every Yankee. We'll have marching bands playing Leonard's Kinnard.
We'll have the Shriners displaying their driving skills in little
tricked out General Lee's and Our Grand Marshal is Colonel
Harlan Slanders.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Colonel Sanders, No, no.
Speaker 12 (42:10):
Colonel Slanders. All along the parade, Rowdy screams the most horrible,
terrible insults about Yankees in between bites of fried chicken
heath hilarios.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Come in.
Speaker 12 (42:20):
We'll have some great games for folks to play. We
finally found a use for New York pizza. We'll be
using them to play a version of cornhole.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Well, what do you get if you win?
Speaker 12 (42:28):
You don't have to eat the pizza. And speaking of food,
we'll have a couple of food trucks from Grits and
Giggles with all kinds of innovative Southern delicacies. After all,
whoever heard anyone say, boy, I sure could go for
some Northern food. You know, stuff short to repel most
Yankee taste buds, chicken fried squirrel, squirrel fried chicken, squirrely
(42:52):
chicken fries, you name it. Oh, and save roupe for dessert.
Be sure to try the refreshing potted meat ice cream.
And for the kids, Banana Live.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Well that's different.
Speaker 12 (43:03):
And how All weekend long, we'll have an immersive interactive
attraction going twenty four hours a day, it's called the
New York Experience.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Interesting. Is it like a little Times Square or something?
Speaker 12 (43:17):
Not a sort of. It's just a big, poorly lit
tent full of junk cars, live rats, hookers, and junkies,
all in an authentic ripe urinal smell. Hang on to
your wallet, Pickpocket Pete could be anywhere.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
So how about entertainment.
Speaker 12 (43:33):
Well, if hookers and rats fighting over a rotten sausage
sandwich isn't enough for you, Saturday, We've got a big
night of comedy and music. Kicking off the evening is
the presidential impersonator, Moe Biden. Watch out, guys, if you're
setting in the first three rows, he might just sniff
your hair. That's creepy, just like the real thing. Then
(43:54):
you can sit back, relax and watch sweaty cleavage.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I can do that here.
Speaker 12 (43:58):
No, no, no, no no. This is an all girl
bluegrass band.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Ah weird name.
Speaker 12 (44:04):
What can I tell you? The Butthole Surfers were booked.
Then on Sunday morning, the kids from Foster Brooks Middle
School will be presenting a Broadway.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Musical Let Me get this, Damn Yankees.
Speaker 12 (44:16):
No, it's Door of the Greek. Our sponsor is mister
run to populis from the owner of Pizza.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Run Ah, the damn Yankees would have been better noted.
Speaker 12 (44:27):
Then. The entire Yankee Go Home Festival wraps up with
the Running of the Bolinskis.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
The Running of the Bolinskis.
Speaker 12 (44:34):
Yeah, we got this family down here annoying people. The
Bolinski's Bernie signs in their yard, complains about people grilling
out a real pain in the poof shoot, trying to
cram their Yankee values on the good people at dismal
Seep and yeah, we've had enough. So what we're gonna do.
We're gonna pull them out of their house and chase
them up the interstate with pitchforks and torches. Pitchforks and
(44:55):
torches provided by medieval Mics Renaissance rentals.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
This is out really somewhere, But I have just one question. Shoot,
aren't you from New Jersey?
Speaker 12 (45:07):
So come on down, y'all.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Thank you man. I love the way you talk. All right,
let's play Beat the Blonde one eight hundred big show.
You told free line. We'll get a contestant play next
I'll wait here up my live don't hot ve herd hot,
it's home. I love ho hold I was hond God.
Everyone knows that's lad list is lud list is let
listen my god, hoado six, it's loud listen, it's left list.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Po Honey's Noah, God.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm coming up ring you No I know? Oh what
(01:00):
aga Ulu up and add them. Welcome to Tuesday, April
twenty ninth, thirty days has September, April, June in November.
All right, Tomorrow will be our last day of April.
You will celebrate May the first May day. Get the
poll out data on Thursday.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
You don't know how you know? I have a pole.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
One if it ties in with National Zipper Day, that
we're gonna celebrate Yay day. That was first in eighteen
fifty one that Elias Howell, the inventor of the sewing machine,
received a patent for him has he named it Automatic
Continuous Clothing Closure. I think maybe the name didn't work
(01:49):
out for him, that he didn't get really credit for
his invention of the zipper. Well.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
In his defense, at that time, when you submitted a patent,
you had to be very speci about what it did
and what its function was, otherwise somebody.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Might Okay, he said he did not market it and
missed the recognition that he may have received for his invention. Yeah,
the automatic, I call it the automatic continuous clothing closure.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Eh, boys and girls.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
Ah right.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
For the Zipper's national piece Rose Day, it's the light
yellow to large cream colored flowers. The peace rose have
slightly flushed crimson pink petal edges. Anybody follow that. They're
very pretty flowers. All right, I got it all. And
(02:49):
then when you get behind National Shrimp Scampy Day, we
under the delicious dish of shrimp cooked with butter, garlic,
lemon juice and white wine. I got a little shrimp
by put in the freezer when I got my sum
down the beats though, Sure, go ahead, peguard all this.
(03:10):
Let's do that. Well they're small, okay, Happy shrimps Campy Day.
We got three days in this ster saved up. We'll
get the winning beginning with those dates. Yeah, we're wake
big show's on the radio. Good morning, Big shows on
the radio. First prize package from the law Tigers. We
(03:30):
got a hat, t shirt, tumbler and a twenty five
dollars gas card. Lawd Tigers, motorcycle lawyers who ride representing
injured riders for over two decades. With Lord Tigers, you
never ride alone. Just click on the banner the Big
Show dot Com. Check them out. Listen up here win
you of this package. April twenty ninth, it was nineteen
(03:51):
thirteen Swedish born engineer getting in sundaybike of a Hoobocon.
He was a Hoboken, New Jersey. We just oh man,
he said, he patented the zipper. This is Swedish born
and we just hurt. Somebody will steal it. Know howse
here man stole his invention.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Lookay, we're gonna find out he didn't do the zipper,
he did the continuous closure.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
I guess you're right. Well, let's move up to twenty eighteen.
Animated series The Simpsons surpasses six hundred and thirty five
episode count of gun Smoke, the highest number of episodes
of any series on TV. Homer beats Matt Dillon oh Right. Finally,
(04:39):
twenty twenty three, country singer Willie Nelson hosted the first
of two night ninetieth birthday concerts for himself the Hollywood
Bowl in LA. Guest performers included ly Love and Neil
young Snoop Dog, George Strait, Roseanne Cash, Chris Chris Starverson,
Nora Jones as she getting there, Chris Stableton' Tom Jones
(05:02):
and Ziggy Marley, among others.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Through him a party. That's what he said ninety two.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Now then well yeah, that was twenty three that night.
Well there you go. There's that three categories one eight
hundred big shows you told free line use it. We
play out Birds next, Good morning, that's a big show
(05:46):
on the radio for you Tuesday. Our feature track for
the Big Show bed box headed towards Sinko, Tomayo. We
got mad Max on the Mexican Wedding. He Viggy words
Mexican Wedding. Run out Upburst. Let's play Upburst. It's the
(06:11):
game that anyone can win. John Boys and Billy to
give the prizes from the big prize being. Let's go
ma contested number one. This should really be a lot of.
Speaker 7 (06:25):
Funs when you're playing upberst have a hurry up and.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Guest time you love the best time. You love a
big shots. Let's say and from Boiling Springs South Caroling.
Speaker 8 (06:41):
Up we have a shots.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Good morning, Andy, good morning, how you doing so far today.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
It's fixing to be a better day.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I like your attitude. Well let's get into it, dear,
in five seconds, three items with a zipper, ready go.
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Jeans, a backpack and a purse.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
There you go and there now give us three characters
from the Simpsons. Ready go, Homer, Lisa and Bert. Oh my,
and now Andy with and I. Three things you see
at a birthday party, Ready go the.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Obvious, three blues presents and a cake.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Look at you, the ball and springs, grabbing a big
old lord, tiger's crosspack, gash card, tumblers and cool swag
all headed down for you. And congratulations, awesome, thank you?
(07:58):
Buy how many hour? Top of you? And taxa's small
breaks to Willie Pee, Gonna yank somebody's chain. Per se
this morning we'll all enjoy.
Speaker 8 (08:11):
H m hm hm h m hmmm mm hm h h.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Good Tuesday morning. That's a big show on the radio.
All right, this has some fun.
Speaker 9 (08:51):
Well it be all just a funeral home, Yes it is, Yes, sir,
I was wanting to know the price of a real
good funeral.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
Well the prices range for around twelve hundred up to seven.
Speaker 9 (09:01):
Thousand, say they do, yes, Well, I always been thinking
about being my wife.
Speaker 6 (09:07):
Yes, sir, were you interested in one of our pre
planned funerals? You know that's the best thing you can do.
It sure relieves a lot of stress when the time comes.
Speaker 8 (09:15):
A Nasa.
Speaker 9 (09:15):
She already did, sir, Yes, so she already did. She
died about three weeks ago.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Three weeks ago, and you haven't had a.
Speaker 8 (09:23):
Funeral yet, a Nasa.
Speaker 6 (09:25):
Well, where is your wife located?
Speaker 8 (09:28):
Well, I got it right here in the freezer. The freezer, sir.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
You can't keep her in the freezer?
Speaker 8 (09:33):
Well why not?
Speaker 6 (09:35):
When a person dies, if they die at home, you're
supposed to contact the authorities and an inquest should be
held by the justice.
Speaker 8 (09:41):
Of the peace. Sure now, yes, sir?
Speaker 6 (09:43):
Did she die of natural cause?
Speaker 8 (09:45):
Yes? I guess you could call it natural cause.
Speaker 9 (09:47):
Her sister was over here one night a two week
about three weeks ago, and cooked some poke chops and we.
Speaker 8 (09:53):
All got real sick.
Speaker 9 (09:54):
But my old lady passed during the night, and I
found her dead the next morning when I woke up,
and I didn't know what to do because I didn't
want to get a sister. No trouble for feeding it
in bad foak, y'all killing us, So I just put
it here in the freezer till I figured out what
to do with her.
Speaker 6 (10:07):
Well, so you need to call the justice of the
peace in your area right now. Well, you can't keep
a body in your home that's against the law.
Speaker 9 (10:15):
Say it is, yes, sir, Well, we ain't got but
about nine hundred dollars together? Could y'all go ahead and
bury you think? And then we could pay you the
rest later on?
Speaker 6 (10:23):
What did she have insurance?
Speaker 8 (10:25):
Yes, she got some inchance on a old car.
Speaker 6 (10:27):
Out here, I'm type of life insurance or a burial policy.
Speaker 8 (10:31):
Not that I knows of.
Speaker 9 (10:32):
She had some, but we had to cash it in
last year to get one of her grandsons after jail.
Speaker 8 (10:38):
And I don't think she ever did what you call
renewal it or nothing.
Speaker 6 (10:42):
Well, we don't have any type of financing. We require
payment for it before we can complete the service.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
Yes, sir, Well, could y'all you think y'all could just
store down there until we get the rest of money
to get How much rent would y'all charge just to
keep a you know, storager down there? If y'all and
if y'all, if y'all was keep I probably wouldn't get
in no trouble with.
Speaker 6 (11:01):
No, sir, we're unable to do that for any extended
period of time.
Speaker 8 (11:04):
Extended period of time.
Speaker 6 (11:05):
No, sir, we just can't do that.
Speaker 8 (11:08):
Well, I guess I'll just keep you here in the
freezer til we get all the.
Speaker 9 (11:10):
Money together, and then I'll call you back and maybe
we can have the funeral after that.
Speaker 6 (11:14):
Sir, you really can't do that. Maybe you should contact
another funeral home, maybe one in your area.
Speaker 8 (11:20):
Well I didn't call it.
Speaker 9 (11:21):
All of them right around here, and they all taught me,
told me to call you, that you was the best
around here.
Speaker 6 (11:26):
Well, I'm sorry, I don't think we can help you
at this time, but you do need to contact the authority.
Speaker 8 (11:31):
Well, you done got me scared and worried. Now what
am I supposed to do? You know?
Speaker 9 (11:36):
You tell me that you got to have all the
money and I ain't got all the money, and that
you want store and I can't store. You said you
got funerals starting at what twelve hundred dollars? And I
got nine hundred dollars? And I was wondering, why can't
I just thaw out and I bring on down there
y'all fix up and put it in you. Maybe your
cheapest casket down there, y'all could just let her take
in the back of my pickup truck and bury somewhere.
(11:56):
I would sell it that way. You know that ought
to cut some of the price off of it.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Sir, you can't conduct a funeral, your thumb. That's illegal.
What's your name, sir?
Speaker 8 (12:05):
Well looking, I got to goo. I don't want to
get the money to.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Get good morning. This will make Shaw on the radio
(12:39):
cries you guys for it. Here we'll go. It is
time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 7 (12:47):
Wow, flibbity fluid. I'm old and I hate prom. Back
in my day, we didn't have no fancy corsage pinn
rented limousine riding stupid DJ jabberin slowed dancing but grabbing
high school foolishness. When I was a boy, prom was
(13:09):
a thing of myth and legend, meant for folks who
had all their teeth and only two eyes, and whose
parents weren't first cousins. The only time we had something
to dance about was when your pet badger Willie didn't
give you rabies, or by some miracle, nobody Peede and
your rain barrel, or that it was okay to butcher
(13:30):
the hogs because they aren't blood relatives, like last season
when Uncle Elma got licked up and got frisky with
the sow. It's prop time, It's prop time, it's moch off,
Dan and mob time. Oh, shut your pukes about your
piply face social leech home. Everyone knows that proming nothing
(13:52):
but a bunch of puberty poppin' hormone hot footing two
point five grade point average horn dogs, all gussied up
in rended clothes from the strip mall had fancy eating
on mommy and Daddy's nickel at the red labster. Well,
Ladie freakin' da, don't forget your glass slipper, Cinderella. Then
(14:17):
after the feedbag's been licked clean, it's off to the
main event. The warehouse behind the hardware store, all decorated
up to look like a grand ballroom if that ballroom
had been in some half assed carpenter's wet dream. And
the band plays songs no one can recognize because they
(14:38):
e't had time to practice on account of the all
been in county lock up for being perverts, And in
between songs you don't recognize your feast on unimaginable delicacies
like stale store brand bagel bites and expired vegan meatballs,
(14:58):
and you keep from hurland just long enough to drink
some raisin wine the chemistry whiz made in the back
of his toilet, and before you know it, in the
granddaddy of all ironies, your date gets pregnant on a palette.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Of Saltpeter.
Speaker 7 (15:14):
Whoop ding dang do look at me, I've a spoiled
brat from yuppies spawn, eating out of the trash and
dancing the cover tunes from Peeping Tom and the butt Sniffers.
I can't wait to name my kids snap on tools.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And we like it. We loved it. In my day
that went no such a thing as.
Speaker 7 (15:36):
A prom, but we did have a big shin dig
for all the gradiots, and it was called that you
better enjoy tonight because tomorrow you're gonna wake up and
find out the real world sucks.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Dance.
Speaker 7 (15:51):
Someone's pappy would let us have it in the barn,
and we were too lazy and stupid to clean it first,
so all night long we were ankle deep in ransom
animal waste, which wasn't the worst thing in the world
because it kept you from smelling the food, which was
usually poorly clean chitlins and spoiled cheese that was left
over from the county fair the year before. We didn't
(16:13):
have no high Waiian punch to drink, just the spittoon
from the slaughterhouse with a bunch of straws in it.
We couldn't afford a fancy suit, so we wore the
one our grand pappy was buried in. But the funeral
parlor was cheap, so it wasn't the whole suit, just
the front pot. So we spent the whole night with
(16:35):
our pimply butts hanging out and yelling to close the
door because I feel a breeze. The band was just
your uncle toty tooton on a moonshine jug while his
fat wife kept time slapping a belly like a big
toothless walrus. And we danced all night like hillbilly lunatics,
(16:55):
until our bare feet bled and they got infected from
all the crap on the floor, and the smell drove
the hogs crazy, and they chased us down and ate
our legs off, and you had to crawl home on
your belly like a craw daddy all the time talking
about how much you loved the band. Wappity Wahoo, Willie wee.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Look at me.
Speaker 7 (17:16):
I'm a shoeless, genetic freak, wearing half a dead man's suit,
slapping my first cousin on the court hoole and sipping
stranger's stock through a used straw, dancing the poop foot
shuffle to the belly Bongo. I kicked my own stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Ass, but the hogs ate my legs.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Oh, happy day, and we liked it, we loved it.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Uh gigglespit, I.
Speaker 10 (17:40):
Hate brom.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
Good morning, Big Show's on a radio and more big
show right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Good morning, this is big show, Plastic Thurgeon, Doctor Harlan
p Win.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I fixed the Jackie.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Twins, Randy Butt and Smarty Marty's mad the man hooded.
Next up on the John Boy and Billy Big Show Life.
Oh for John Boy Ship extensions for Billy and Tata. Sorry,
but I brain transplanted a little lot of my league.
(18:17):
But I'll take a work at it.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I mean, what could it hurt? Go my man. Let's
(18:55):
make Sean Radio'll until you Tuesday. You can win John
Boys Wonderful Thing Number one hundred and forty Bill Belichick's girlfriend.
Speaker 8 (19:08):
Now, I.
Speaker 11 (19:11):
She can be a little pushy sores on TV. I mean, honey,
I don't know about you, but I'll put up with it.
Come on, man, Pat Man of.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
The ACC Network Big ESPN, of course, where Belichick is
coaching the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, A
little not along with his girlfriend as she was coming,
kind of been close.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
With Oh, she'll be there. She's shown up a couple
of times already.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
We'll get to that. The pack in the final hour
of The Big Show. Now my real wonderful thing. It's
a hard back copy of the book The Hold Truth
about Spring Turkey Hunting. According to ronnic Couz, strictly a
hero from mass Oaks gets your name in a hat
and we'll give it away as we get into Oh,
this final hour of the Big Shows. Hit it right now,
(20:03):
The Big Show dot Com, Good Morning, got the Big
Show on the radio coming up. We played John boyd
Jevity for a big Old World Lawnmoors prize pack. Hey man,
y'all check me out on my World Lawnmower at the farm.
Huh you got them up on the Facebook page sir,
all right, check them out.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
Man.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
We talking, We talked.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
About Yeah, I work on weekends. The best value zero
turned moores on the market. We're talking a three year,
unlimited hours warning commercial grade Kawasaki Engines, heavy dudey fabricated
deck starting at just twenty nine to nine nine, world long,
tough phone, grass, easy on your wallet. Look for the
link at the Big Show dot com. Check me out
(20:45):
of my world lawn at the John Boynbillie Facebook page.
All right, hang on and play for it in minutes.
Where right now from the desk of Taylor Tainment News
is what to watch. Here's our girl, Marcia TAYTORURM my ram.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
Let's see what people were watching at the box office
the top five movies from this weekend. Sinners dominated the
box office for its second weekend in a row.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
You might be thinking, what is Sinners?
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Well, Sinners is a horror movie that has stars Michael B.
Jordan and Hailey Steinfeld. And she's from She was in
the True Grit movie the remake.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
She was the girl girl.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
Yes, well she's all grown up now she's engaged to
Josh Allen and the movie was about.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
A quarterback bills.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
Yeah, they're a thing.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
Well, Sinners is about brothers who returned to their hometown
in Mississippi to start over and run into a bunch
of vampires.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So I was wonder about us A Michael Jordan movie.
They're trying to kill him somewhere or the.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Other, right, So this is yeah, I mean, I'm sure
he has his shirt off at some point.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Too lucky.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
All right.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Meanwhile, Disney's re release of Star Wars Episode three, Revenge.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Of the Sith Sith.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
The twentieth Anniversary, came in second place, barely, I mean
only by a couple hundred thousand feet out The Accountant two,
which debuted a number three. A Minecraft movie, What's supposed
to be a pause there? A Minecraft movie came in
fourth place, and rounding out the top five was the
movie Until Dawn, which was about you know, Clover, that
(22:20):
girl and her friends who go to the remote area
where her sister disappeared and they run into a mass
killer and he starts picking them off one by one.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah, that movie came in fifth. All right, what's coming
out this Friday?
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Thunderbolts.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
This stars Florence Pugh, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Wyatt Russell, and
David Harbor. It's a world without the Avengers, don't you know.
And we have a new group of superheroes. Maybe it's
a group of supervillains, super villains from the I know
I'm talking too fast, a group of supervillains from the
Marvel Cinematic universe. And they are recruited to go on
(22:59):
missions for the government, and Mayhem ensues. It's it's kind
of a comedy action movie. Yeah, she plays the agent
to charge. But yeah, David Ferber, he's very funny. He's
from Stranger Things. He played the sheriff, Yeah, and Stranger
Things that he's very funny.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
It's bad Santam all right.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
Also out this weekend, The Surfer. It's a psychological thriller.
It stars Nicholas Cage and he's a man who returns
to his childhood beach with his son to go surfing
and they run into locals that don't want their.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
Kind on their turf.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
It escalates and he snaps and mayhem and follows.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
So all right, I want to make one suggestion for you, Johnny.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
You've got Hulu, So go to Hulu. My name is Earl.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
All seasons you can sit and binge watching It's held
out really well?
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Is that right? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Feel funny for you?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
And that his hot girlfriend from went to East Carolina
University the early years. She's much hot.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Yeah, five years ago, wasn't it?
Speaker 8 (23:56):
Like?
Speaker 12 (23:58):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Streaming, I mean I been covered up, you know, just
kind of getting over jetlag from bringing the floods to
Italy and Lioness Special Ops. Lioness is two seasons are
streaming on Paramount Plus. It's a tailor sharedan series, So
I wanted to let you know about that. It has
always selled Donna in it, Nicole Kidman, Morgan Freeman, they're
fighting the war on terror.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
It's pretty good. Perty good.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Tady Charny got him some stuff out.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Then K been busy. So y'all go watch something.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yeah, well, thank you very much, jam Mark. Well, let's
get us a winner. Let's play a John Boy jepary
review yesterday's question. We found out there around two hundred
and fifty different performers currently on the contract to portray
this well known corporate mascot. Every performer must have greated
some very strict rules, like they cannot hug children, they
cannot promote any food products, they can never ever reveal
(24:50):
their out of costume identity.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
Oh, who is Ronald McDonald?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
Ronald McDonald and a whole list of other things as
he can do when you're dressed up like that clown.
Today's John Moore Jeopardy. With an average lifespan of up
to fifty years, this modern household device holds a title
as the longest lasting part of your home.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
Eh, what is the garbage disposal? I have no reason
for that. I just wanted to guess.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Okay, well, no, what's y'all got one eight hundred? Big Shaw?
You told free Line, we go to we get a winter,
We play John Bore Jeopardy. I got it? Okay? Next,
(26:02):
Good morning. That's a Big show on the radio. We
are rolling through your Tuesday, April twenty ninth, our feature
track from The Big Show, bid Box Mad Max on
the Mexican Wedding. There's a key words Mexican wedding. When
he hit the bed box at the Big Show dot
comy right now, let's play Yes live across America. It's
(26:23):
John Boyjevity and now your host.
Speaker 13 (26:27):
From what he's seen, about ninety percent of being married
is just yelling what from another room he's John Boyd.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah, and I worked sunder Lady. Let's say hey to
Aubrey at a Ridgeway, Virginia. Good morning, Aubrey, Good morning, sir,
Hey buddy, welcome. Alright, Ho, you got the first shot
at John boyjevity this morning. With an average lifespan up
to fifty years, this modern household of ice holds a
(26:59):
time was the longest lasting part of your home. What
was you thinking, Aubrey?
Speaker 6 (27:05):
Well, uh, cast iron skill.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
It cast iron skillet, I hear you. Let's say that
was very specific. I don't think everybody has a cast
iron skillet. Certainly modern, you know, ye modern? Yeah, we
(27:29):
lock him. Hey, Aubrey, we appreciate you playing, buddy. You
have a great.
Speaker 8 (27:32):
Day, all right, sir, first time?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Oh man, Thank you buddy.
Speaker 12 (27:39):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Let's go to Scott. He's in Bobby Tennessee. Good morning, Scott, morning,
big show. No, buddy, what you say Jackie? Oh I
thought Jackie hollered from I said, oh ty, don't you hollered? What? What? Alright? Scott?
You up there? Buddy, household device, modern household device and
(28:04):
last up to fifty years, longest part of your home.
What you got? I'm gonna guess a toilet. You are
guessing a toilet and you are got your toilet there
(28:29):
fifty years. You got your refrigerator last about eighteen years.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
It's this itason on my SAMSUNGR loven Or stove seventeen years,
dishwasher twelve years should last, and then freezer.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Coming in about twenty years on the old freezer. Nice. Okay,
y'all got that? Yeah, okay, you'll be testing on this
material later. Scott, you hang right where you are, buddy.
Jackie gonna hook you up with a big old world
long prize pack cornor I get a shot out?
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Oh yeah, cash, Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (29:05):
The air bike knows me at the big show? And
if I give you my phone number, can you get it.
Speaker 12 (29:11):
The whole Because I work in a body shop too.
Speaker 11 (29:13):
He may be needing a good body or another.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
If you hadn't jumped him. Yeah, we can hook you
up on that. Jackie. You got this, I Scott, and
you hang on, Buddy. I appreciate it. Why the oney
hour drop of your news yesterday? Deal with Ronald McDonald,
(29:38):
Gonna deal with Berry White narbage, Jackie h Good morning
(30:18):
This Week show on the radio, All I learned a
lot about Ronald McDonald lost God for McDonald. Remember when
Verry White, you know, briefly, was doing commercials me and
an Arby spokesperson. I wonder why that didn't last? And
then I think about this.
Speaker 14 (30:43):
Wow, look who decided to finally pay a visit the
round mound of sound?
Speaker 8 (30:50):
What did you do?
Speaker 14 (30:51):
Come by to pick up your mail?
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Oh lord, here we go next to me.
Speaker 14 (30:58):
You want to lie down, get a big ass out
on the sofa and lie down in the living room.
Don't be coming in here with that, oh baby stuff
with me.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You hear what I'm saying.
Speaker 14 (31:10):
Yeah, you got no idea how it feels. Either you
ain't been hearing so long, or you could just keep
your big, old, nasty ass hands to yourself. No, no, no,
I ain't trying to hear that. You think you can
just come in here with that. I love you, and
everything's gonna be all right.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Whatever.
Speaker 14 (31:34):
Run your fingers through your own hair, Betty, Yet, how
about running some shampoo through that nasty hair. That stuff's
so greasy it looks like it's got about eleven herbs
and spices. And speaking of food, did you bring me
some Arby's coupon?
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Could you do that for your wife?
Speaker 14 (31:48):
I saw your new video on bet I saw that
little tramp singing ooh baby baby. I bet you bought
her some Arvey's coupon. You better ease up out of
my face before something.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
Bad happen to you. Closer.
Speaker 14 (32:02):
What is that nasty smelling stuff you're wearing. Hey, it's
called cologne, not marinate. You're choky, all right, that's it.
Take your very white ass down to the holidays and
don't come back up here. So you got some Arby's
kupons and some rent money, Okay, then get the funk
out of my face.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Good morning. That's a big showing a radio right then.
I don't know about twenty minutes, Mayor of Dismal sabers
a big Yankee go home festival right now. Alright, he's
back with some new material. Please stay tuned anyway and
(33:11):
we'll all suffer along together. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
your headliner, joke Nerd with wit. What's the HAPs my nestles?
And I'm gonna try the urban comic thing? Are you
no seet? John Boy?
Speaker 7 (33:28):
In the comedy business, you have to reach out to
the young people. Through the language they most easily understand.
I'm merely employing the lingo do shore word, damn play
a well done? AnyWho, Hey, folks, it's great to be here.
I gotta go somewhere. Yeah, my marriage is on the
(33:49):
rocks again. My wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
That timing was spot on. A friend asked me, my
wife and I fight all the time. I said, I
don't know. She never tells me a little late.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
You know, I thought I married miss right. I just
didn't know.
Speaker 7 (34:12):
Her first name was always that is all the money.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Keep with that.
Speaker 7 (34:19):
I guess it's not all her fault, you know. She
asked me, will you still love me when my hair
is gray? I said, why not? I've made it through
the other forty three colors. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Friends say you should take her out more. No thanks.
Speaker 7 (34:33):
Going to a party with your wife is like going
fishing with a game warden.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Shut up, I know what I said.
Speaker 7 (34:41):
That's kind of true, thank you. That's where comedy comes from,
John boy, there's truth in it. I live like I'm
going back to my self. I live like a medieval night.
Every night I go to sleep with a battle axe
by my side, turn into a feminist. Now she's always
(35:03):
trying to change me. She says, you need to get
in touch with your feminine side. So I wrecked the car.
Speaker 8 (35:10):
Hio.
Speaker 7 (35:13):
I've always managed to keep my trim figure over the years.
I wish I could say the same for my wife.
When she said she believed in love at first sight,
I didn't know she was talking about the dessert menu
and we go. You know, I took my wife to
the Super Bowl once she brought a spoon. My wife's
(35:39):
got someone, thank you. My wife's got so many double chins.
It looks like she's looking at you over a stack
of pancakes. Shut up, Pater, I thought you're on my side.
Speaker 1 (35:51):
I'm not saying my wife is fat.
Speaker 7 (35:52):
But when we go to the opera, no one will
leave until she's saying, because.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
It's not over until. So is this your wife said?
Speaker 8 (36:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (36:05):
This just my warm up. I got like twenty minutes
of the church bulletin. Bloopers is great stuff. I'm sure
it might have been mailed and drums. I had to
try it. How about just give us your best joke
as a closer.
Speaker 7 (36:19):
That's tough, John boy got so much rich material to
mine here, Okay, there's these two non binary albino aborigines
that are ordering at Chipotle. No, oh, wouch, let's see here. Okay,
try this one. A communist goes into Starbucks and peas
in the corner.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
No, don't you have anything that isn't offensive? Fine, all right.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
I was walking down the street with my friend and
there's an Italian organ grinder with a monkey, and my
friend puts a twenty dollars bill in his cup. I said, hey,
I thought you didn't like Italians, and he said, I don't,
but they're so adorable when they're.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Little something that some offensive? Are you Italian?
Speaker 8 (37:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Now, what's your beat? I put a monkey in it
for you? Damn it, damn play out? Well done day,
Good morning everybody. The Big Show is on the radio. Hangout.
We're gonna show our acting jobs coming up.
Speaker 15 (37:23):
I'm not an actor, damn you. I'm a movie stop.
I did one play in summer stuff. I have one line.
I forgot it.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Thank god I can write down old my beats.
Speaker 10 (37:41):
I'm the dump Boy and Billy big Shoe.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Good morning, It's Big Show on the radio. You having
a birthday today, Happy birthday. You are sharing one with
Willy Nelson, Willie a little bit ago Willen ninety two
years old today. If you want to preserve something, either
smoking or soaking an alcohol.
Speaker 5 (38:35):
I saw a thing on social media that said, huh,
I rethought this. I follow Richard Simmons who's already passed away.
Or I could live like Keith Richards and Willie Nelson
lived in my nineties.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
That's crazy, not the picture of health.
Speaker 3 (38:49):
But sure are outliving a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
Is he like?
Speaker 8 (38:53):
All right?
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Has he got.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Anything nothing reported?
Speaker 14 (38:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:57):
I know he's still doing shows and.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
With comedian Jerry SimPEL is seventy one years old today?
Speaker 8 (39:06):
What's up with that?
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Michelle five for sixty seven years old today?
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Still looking good?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Uma Thurman got to kill Bill Fame? Fit your five
old number, Nichols see Jay Cartler retired quarterback for the
Chicago Bears forty two, Dwayne Allen No, Gridgemore is eighty two? Wow?
Jan Brady eve Plum sixty seven years old today? March Yeah?
(39:38):
Who is Marsha? I don't know what about Kate Mulgrew.
Who's that that? Somebody? Ol Star Trek? I just don't
order up there. Tommy James? Is that Tommy James and
Shandale seventy eight years old. He owns says he owns
his old record label should be uh all right bo
(40:02):
and seven time NASCAR champion Dale earn Hart would have
been seventy four years old today. So young. I know
that's something man. That final that wreck Daytona that was
two thousand and one. About that, all right, y'all? Well,
mainly happy birthday? Do you hang on? Big Show? Rolls
(40:23):
on the Mayor Dismal seepinge in minutes. Good morning, I
got the Big Show on the radio coming up. We
played Beat the Blonde. You can win one hundred and
twenty dollars worth of Bullsnot cleaning products made in the USA.
Truck drivers keep America moving and bullsnot make sure they
look good doing it. Look for Bullsnoping truck stops across
America or download the bullsnotapp. Go to the Big Show
(40:46):
dot com. Click on that banner, get you all the
info you need. Hang on win it in minutes. Well,
there's always something exciting happening in Dismal seep in South Carolina.
Here to tell us all about it, as the honorable
Mayor himself. When coup Fiddle swoop. Good morning, mister Mayor.
Speaker 12 (41:03):
Good morning John Boy at all your wonderful listeners. Well,
this weekend we're really pulling out all the stops with
an all new, all exciting event. It's the first annual
Dismal Seepach Yankee Go Home Festival.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Wow, that was what was the inspiration for this one, Mayor?
Speaker 12 (41:20):
Well, you know, life experience. I think all of us
here in the South have suffered from Northerner exposure. They
come down here in droves like rats, abandoning a sinking
shit and then tell everyone how they did things up north.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Well, how do you respond when they say that?
Speaker 12 (41:35):
I say, well, if it's so great, what the hell
are you doing down here? And it's in the spirit
of that well crafted retort that we're celebrating this weekend.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
So exactly what happens at a Yankee Go Home Festival?
Speaker 12 (41:49):
That's a great question, John Boy. Well, the weekend kicks
off with a big parade guaranteed to horrify and repel
any and every Yankee. We'll have marching bands playing Leonard's Kinnard.
We'll have the Shriners displaying their driving skills in little
tricked out General Lee's and Our Grand Marshal is Colonel
Harlan Slanders.
Speaker 1 (42:08):
Colonel Sanders, No, no.
Speaker 12 (42:10):
Colonel Slanders. All along the parade, Rowdy screams the most horrible,
terrible insults about Yankees in between bites of fried chicken
heath hilarios.
Speaker 1 (42:18):
Come in.
Speaker 12 (42:20):
We'll have some great games for folks to play. We
finally found a use for New York pizza. We'll be
using them to play a version of cornhole.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Well, what do you get if you win?
Speaker 12 (42:28):
You don't have to eat the pizza. And speaking of food,
we'll have a couple of food trucks from Grits and
Giggles with all kinds of innovative Southern delicacies. After all,
whoever heard anyone say, boy, I sure could go for
some Northern food. You know, stuff short to repel most
Yankee taste buds, chicken fried squirrel, squirrel fried chicken, squirrely
(42:52):
chicken fries, you name it. Oh, and save roupe for dessert.
Be sure to try the refreshing potted meat ice cream.
And for the kids, Banana Live.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Well that's different.
Speaker 12 (43:03):
And how All weekend long, we'll have an immersive interactive
attraction going twenty four hours a day, it's called the
New York Experience.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Interesting. Is it like a little Times Square or something?
Speaker 12 (43:17):
Not a sort of. It's just a big, poorly lit
tent full of junk cars, live rats, hookers, and junkies,
all in an authentic ripe urinal smell. Hang on to
your wallet, Pickpocket Pete could be anywhere.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
So how about entertainment.
Speaker 12 (43:33):
Well, if hookers and rats fighting over a rotten sausage
sandwich isn't enough for you, Saturday, We've got a big
night of comedy and music. Kicking off the evening is
the presidential impersonator, Moe Biden. Watch out, guys, if you're
setting in the first three rows, he might just sniff
your hair. That's creepy, just like the real thing. Then
(43:54):
you can sit back, relax and watch sweaty cleavage.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I can do that here.
Speaker 12 (43:58):
No, no, no, no no. This is an all girl
bluegrass band.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Ah weird name.
Speaker 12 (44:04):
What can I tell you? The Butthole Surfers were booked.
Then on Sunday morning, the kids from Foster Brooks Middle
School will be presenting a Broadway.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Musical Let Me get this, Damn Yankees.
Speaker 12 (44:16):
No, it's Door of the Greek. Our sponsor is mister
run to populis from the owner of Pizza.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Run Ah, the damn Yankees would have been better noted.
Speaker 12 (44:27):
Then. The entire Yankee Go Home Festival wraps up with
the Running of the Bolinskis.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
The Running of the Bolinskis.
Speaker 12 (44:34):
Yeah, we got this family down here annoying people. The
Bolinski's Bernie signs in their yard, complains about people grilling
out a real pain in the poof shoot, trying to
cram their Yankee values on the good people at dismal
Seep and yeah, we've had enough. So what we're gonna do.
We're gonna pull them out of their house and chase
them up the interstate with pitchforks and torches. Pitchforks and
(44:55):
torches provided by medieval Mics Renaissance rentals.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
This is out really somewhere, But I have just one question. Shoot,
aren't you from New Jersey?
Speaker 12 (45:07):
So come on down, y'all.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Thank you man. I love the way you talk. All right,
let's play Beat the Blonde one eight hundred big show.
You told free line. We'll get a contestant play next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!