September 2, 2025 • 39 mins
Tuesday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, it’s a Tuesday that feels like a Monday - so Robert Earl Keen will go” Swerving’ In Your Lane”.. - With all of the kiddies back in school, we’ll pull out a classic Playhouse, “Dub Goes Back To School”.. - Fall is just around the corner - so you know the folks at JD’s 24-Hour Stores have got a Super End of Summer Sale for you.. - Not to be outdone, Tacky Jackie’s Clothes for Hoes is throwing down a sale of their own.. - Rev. Billy Ray Collins takes the pulpit and jumps in on the back to school theme.. - Marci will perform “I’m a Delusional Girl”, by request.. - and Phil McCracken locks up with his “So Hot” and “So Cold” one-liners…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning. You got the big show on the radio.
More chance for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Ut Mama, all I wanted to do was have a
let us sandwich on gluten bread, a tall glass of buttermilk,
and crawl under a bearskin rug. Why do I have
to listen to that John Boy person and Billy whoever
on that noisy big shoe button.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Mama got up and out them. It's Tuesday, September twoth,
(01:12):
twenty and twenty five. Hope y'all had a good labor
day Monday. You got to pace yourself and rest from
some labor. Y'all looking nice and relaxed, ready to get
it off in the fall. Yeah, we always do our
annual back to school show the Tuesday after labor days.
That is what we're gonna do today. You don't have
(01:35):
fun with it?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Right?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
All the wonderful things you did this summer? Ooh, wonderful things.
I got a brand new wonderful thing. This is number
one hundred and fifty five if you're keeping score at home.
It's a Costa Rican peddler's bracelet that I am modeling there. Yeah,
I got that little coach ring kid, come up. They
got all this stuff they trying to sell you. They'll
(02:00):
chase you around all over the place when you're coming
in the marina getting off the boat. Yeah, that's the way.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
This one's made out of what's called coco bolo wood.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Uh. Pretty nice, huh for the Swede. Sharp sharing my
summer bounty with you guys. Get you in the half.
Check it out you see. Uh, you can't zee them
up on it. Maybe order to do a close up
on it too, right, not me go back off, back
way off? All right, probably bring more. Oh wait, you're
(02:30):
giving it away? All right, Well here we are. Glad
you with us. We're gonna get that winning begin to
get the first prize pack out in minutes. All right,
we're wake big shows on a radio. Good morning, Big
shows on a radio. First prize package this morning. Oh,
our buds from Law Tiger has got a cool hat,
(02:51):
t shirt or tumbler. Even though twenty five dollars gas card.
Fill up your motorsacle from Law Tigers. Motorcycle lawyers who
ride represent again your drivers for over two decades with
Lord Tigers. You never ride alone. Go on to Banner
when you hit the big show dot com find out
all about it. Listen up here, winning the package three
(03:12):
dates in history. Well, we're going to categories. In nineteen
seventy eight, at the wedding of Emilio Estevan and Gloria Fajardo,
arriving guests had to do the conga on the way
to their seats, like something you'd do, right, Well, I
made you do the hokey pokey did. Yeah, that was
after the let's move up to.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
What Sorry, that's the Miami sound machine. Gloria Stefan.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah, oh is that her? Yeah, Gloria Fojardo was her
maiden name. There. Huh, how about that?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
All right?
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
That take all right. Two thoy eleven, the Federal Housing
Finance Agency announce it would take a legal action against
seventeen major banks that believe contributed to the financial collects
through losses in subprime mortgages. Some of the banks had
plans on so include Goldman, Sucks, Bank of America, and HSBC,
(04:11):
HSBZ High School.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
Comity.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
All right, finally, he's just worry about three banks for
that kind of going. And then twenty twenty four, a
new world record for eating eighty three hot dogs was
sent by guess who Oh, Joey Chestnut. It was in
Netflix's unfinished Beef Labor Day Showdown. That's when he couldn't
compete at the Nathan's Hot Dog getting because of what
(04:38):
he's sponsored by, like a meatless wany or something. Hey,
that was my nickname in high school. In fact, they anyway,
he ate eighty three over on netflixes that record. Oh joy,
we had him on The Big Show several times. Yeah,
you know he's bigger than the little you know Asian
(05:01):
girl weighs about eighty pounds.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Well, you don't need to do this, but there's a
lot of these competitive eaters on YouTube now and a
lot of them are you know, thin women, you know,
little shorts. How in the world did you eat nine
hundred pizzas?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well, let's just deal with one hot dog. Let's just
think about a hot dog here. That'll do for our
categories one eight hundred Big Show you told free line,
come on, play out birds next, Good morning, This is
(05:55):
a Big Show on the radio Tuesday mornings up to
a second twintae fi feature track for The Big Show.
Mid Bock Phil McCracken Summertime woes. Search for key words
woes here in the bed box at the Bigshow dot com.
I right now, that's.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Upburst.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
John Boy and Billy to give the prizes from the
big Prize being. Let's go ma contested number one. This
should really be a lot of fun when you're playing Upburst.
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
(06:39):
best time you have a big shots. Let's say, hey,
turn Loretta from Hollow Pond Alla bab we have a shot.
Good morning, Loretta, morning, hey baby, welcome. All right, let's
(07:04):
get you to these three categories Loretta, and get you
the prize pack. First thing you ready, I'm ready? Okay,
think about weddings. Here, three songs you would hear at
a wedding reception. Ready, go.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
And Macarina Turner and the Electricide.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
There's no all romantic ballad.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
All I will always love you.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
What's the name of that one?
Speaker 5 (07:37):
I will always love you?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Whitney? All right, Loretta, back to your baby. Give us
three banks ready, go okay, let's do chase.
Speaker 9 (07:56):
Bank of America and we'll.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
All right. You did it? Now around for the wind.
Three things you put on a hot dog? Ready?
Speaker 10 (08:09):
Go, messr and Onion.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
On that.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
They're on long Tiger's Prize Packlorada will give it to
you down beautiful Holly Pond. Yes all ride bottom of
the hour, on top of your news. Robert Rocaine Monday
Morning song.
Speaker 8 (08:40):
It's this Tuesday feels like a Monday, dude, we'll do it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Good morning. There's a big show on the radio. I
want to thank all you big show listeners who listen
to a Robert url Keane applause for the cause. Concert
for Texas Hill Country last week raised a bunch of money. Man,
it was very cool. Thank you so much. We thank
Robert Earl Keane right there help him founts. You know,
it's what he does man, right there in his hometown,
(09:40):
right in Texas. How about a little Robert Earl swerving
in a lane this morning. That's done by Robert Earl
Kean is being lying in.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
A bitch city.
Speaker 11 (09:51):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 12 (09:58):
Sometimes on my some days are filled with and rid
As I travel, I left some bad things ain't going
my way because there's always someone swarming in my life.
(10:19):
You keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 11 (10:23):
And it's causing lots of banger. I'm a honking on
my horror. I'm shooting you the flame. Keep switching on
my bride lights.
Speaker 13 (10:39):
To him.
Speaker 11 (10:42):
When you're swerving all lives pie by, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 12 (10:51):
The day Jove, Why I thought I never.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Never the looming there?
Speaker 12 (11:00):
How else could I feed? But nowing you run into me,
I can't believe I could not see her all tank.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Up, No one's at the waiting.
Speaker 11 (11:19):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bag.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
I'm a cussing out your name.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I'm shooting in the fine.
Speaker 11 (11:35):
I keep switching on my bride lights. But you're just
too dimpty. Now when you're swerving all lights, how way
you're running someone off the ride.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Driving a big show. Good morning, and it's a big
(12:23):
show on no radio. Here we go action, Hello.
Speaker 14 (12:30):
Friends, your old pal Burnt Burn Here with another breast
drooping edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode
It's the thought that counts. As our story opens and
old couple are getting ready to celebrate their golden anniversary.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Honey, dinner's ready.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Oh my, mister, fancy lobster tails and ribbi steak, asparagus
and garlic butter, caesar salad.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
And Cherry's Jubilee for dessert.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Herbert my favorite.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
Well, fifty years deserves something special.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
Well, I'll just say this wasn't necessary, but I love it.
Speaker 6 (13:08):
And the start us off a bottle of nineteen fifty
seven dom Perignon Beautiful. Did you think we'd make it
this far? Yes?
Speaker 5 (13:17):
I mean all couples have rough patches, but we both
hung in there.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
Honey. Now, I don't want to ruin the mood or anything.
What's wrong? Well, I just want to know if you
were ever you know, unfaithful to me.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Well, since you asked yes three times. Oh remember when
you needed money to start your business and no one
would help. Well, I slept with the bank manager just
cure alone.
Speaker 6 (13:43):
You made that sacrifice for me. What a wife.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
And remember that operation you needed that no one would
perform because it was too dangerous. Well, I slept with
the surgeon so he'd do it.
Speaker 6 (13:54):
Oh my god, honey, you saved my life. What was
the third time?
Speaker 15 (14:00):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Why bring up all those old memories? Dinner's getting cold.
Speaker 6 (14:03):
Well, I would just like to know.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
Well, all right, remember when you wanted to be president
of the golf club and you were fifty two votes short.
Speaker 16 (14:11):
Son of.
Speaker 9 (14:18):
Edw WE hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse
buttonos top two buttons you who tune in next time
when we'll hear the lucky ball washer at the.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Golf club say, hey, big man, let me.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Good morning everybody, if my Big Show family yours, thank
you for listening, your listen news? What a sports coming up? Eh?
Speaker 16 (14:43):
Hello listen Rickey bag Yark so sad? How about you
pot lickers are listen to that? A couple other pot
liquors noted John boyd Philly on the Big Show. You know,
I just a guest star on the Playhouse at the
official meskot from mister Populist to Pizzure run.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
That's just a tip of the iceberg.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
But this note from John Boy keep it short, shut.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Good morning. It's a big show on the radio. It's
all back to school show, all way doing day after
Labor Day, Monday. It usually lands on a Tuesday. How
about that. Look at ahead. They're already sept there on
the second to October. Fell our boys, the Southern rock
(16:06):
band Jive Mother Mary. They're gonna be hitting the roads.
Port of zz tops Elevation Tour this October. Jake about
the boys over to the zz Top. Also, Man, they're
gonna get open for skinners Leonard Skinner and rowing over
rapids on October to third, so right at the beginning
of the month. Man hitting it. You to follow him
(16:27):
on social media Jive Mother Mary. Check out Jivemothermary dot com.
You get tickets in tour days. You when to come
to lease. I'm boring all right. Back to school, get
hit with dub uh classic back to School Playhouse in minutes.
Big Show rolls on Good Morning, Big Shows on the radio.
(16:51):
Get the first pack out here. I got it World
on More's Park Prize Wag. I'm just gonna keep throwing
out syllables. Maybe get back to school. I should arrested
on Labor Day. Yeah, I was on that World Lawn
more Man got grass cut, but bore. The weather has
(17:13):
been awesome. You ready for you more well? World Lawn
the best value zero turn mores on the market. Got
a three year unlimited hours warranting commercial grade Kawasaki Engines
heavy duty fabricated decks starting at just thirty two ninety nine.
And then boys will scoot too and still cut good
(17:34):
and fast World, lawn, tough on grass, easy on your wallet.
Click on the link when you hit the Big Show
dot Com, hang on play four to ten minutes.
Speaker 17 (17:45):
Welcome to a John, Boy and Billy playhouse. Today's episode,
Dub goes back to school. Because our story opens, Dub
arrives at Brushywood Elementary School with his granddaughter, Missy.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
This is where I said, Grandpa, thanks for coming to
class with me today.
Speaker 13 (18:04):
Glad to do it, Sweetie?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Say is that your teacher? Yes, that's miss Craptree.
Speaker 13 (18:09):
She's a real cute. Do you know teachers don't look
like that when I was in school. If I was
about ten years younger, I might have to take out
after her.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Grandpa.
Speaker 6 (18:20):
Would you do me a big favor?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Please don't start hitting on my teacher. No ways, Sweetie.
I promised to be good.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
I feel better.
Speaker 10 (18:29):
Good morning, boys and girls. First of all, we want
to welcome our special guests that are here for Grandparents' Day.
We thank you all for coming and we hope you
enjoy your visit.
Speaker 13 (18:39):
Uh, thank you for having us. Excuse me, I said,
thank you for having us.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
My name is doub Well.
Speaker 10 (18:48):
It's very nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Doug.
Speaker 10 (18:51):
Okay, class. Today, we're going to talk about using the
right word when we're speaking to someone. It's very important
to Yes, Doub, did you have a question?
Speaker 13 (19:02):
Can I borrow a pencil?
Speaker 10 (19:05):
A pencil? Well, I believe I have one right here, Scooter,
would you pass that pencil to mister Dub.
Speaker 13 (19:12):
Thank you, ma'am, Grandpa, you promised. All I did was
ask her for a pencil.
Speaker 10 (19:29):
All right, now, using the right word, if you want
to be clearly understood, you have to pick the right
word to describe. Yes, Dub, you have another question.
Speaker 13 (19:41):
Anybody got a sheet of paper I can borrow?
Speaker 5 (19:46):
Sir?
Speaker 10 (19:46):
The grandparents don't actually have to do any of the
class work. You just are supposed to sit and observe.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Oh pardon me, now.
Speaker 10 (19:57):
Where were we?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (19:58):
Yes, using the right word today, let's talk about the
word tragedy. Can anyone describe a situation that would be
a tragedy?
Speaker 18 (20:07):
Yes, Scooter, Yeah, save me and my brother were playing
baseball and he hit the ball and it knocked one
of my teeth out.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
That would be a tragedy.
Speaker 10 (20:17):
Well, not exactly, Scooter. That sounds more like an accident.
Anyone else, Yes, Travis.
Speaker 19 (20:24):
Okay, it'd be like if you bought like a really
cool game for like your sony PlayStation and junk, and
you know, you're like, you know you're going to be
like taking it over to a friend's house, you know,
and all the way you like dropped it into like
the storm drain and junk.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
That now, now that would be like a tragedy.
Speaker 10 (20:43):
Well, Travis, that wouldn't really be a tragedy either, that
would be what we might call a great loss.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Man, I'm like stupid, he's like bummer man.
Speaker 10 (21:00):
All right, does anyone else want to give it a shot?
Anyone at all? Okay, how about some of our special guests.
Would any of you grandparents like to describe a tragedy
for us? Yes, mister dub.
Speaker 13 (21:13):
Sure, Bill and Hillary Clinton got on airplane. A lot
after it took off, it blew into amazing pieces. That
that would be a tragedy.
Speaker 10 (21:23):
Very good, mister Dubb. Could you explain to the class
exactly why it would be a tragedy?
Speaker 13 (21:31):
Well, because it probably wouldn't be an accident. It sure
wouldn't be a great helloss.
Speaker 17 (21:47):
We hope you've enjoyed John boyn Bully Playhouse. Tune in
again next time when we'll hear mister Dubb say.
Speaker 13 (21:54):
Well, missus Crabtree, I guess you'll have to make me
stay after school.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I don't get it. He's he's an like it wouldn't
be an accident like Johnny blew him up and stuff.
So this is Jesus as if earth to dub All right, alright,
more back to school funds throughout the morning. First, we're
(22:24):
gonna play us some john Boy Jeopardy. Maybe learn something.
Let's jump right in here. Even if they do stop
making these, we shouldn't run out of them for a while.
In fact, it's estimated that they are an average of
six pounds of them in every American home.
Speaker 5 (22:42):
What are empty Amazon boxes?
Speaker 14 (22:44):
That?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
That's about?
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (22:47):
What y'all? God one eight hundred big show you told
free line. We play john Boy Jeopardy next, Good Tuesday
(23:18):
morning and this is a big show on the radio,
back to school show for the septembery. Second, we got
our future track with a big show bit box film
a crack in summertime woes. I'm no film this summer
that much. Check it out keyword woes hit the big
box at the Big Show dot Com. Right now, let's play.
Speaker 8 (23:38):
Oh yeah, let's play.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now your host. He really
does believe that laughter is the best medicine unless you
have diarrhea. Well then not so much.
Speaker 6 (23:53):
Peas John boyd.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Roads say hey to Jack had a Canton, North Carolina.
Good morning, Jack, Good morning. How are you John boy? Man?
We good body? How you up there in the high country.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
We are doing great.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'll tell you what.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
It's just got a little cool this morning.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Man. That is nice. I know, even down here in
the in the city, it felt.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Good that time I got the first time, called her.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
All right, let's get out with Jack. All right, well
you got the first shot out of this morning. Jack.
Even if they do stop making these, we shouldn't run
out of them for a while. In fact, it is
estimated that they were an average of six pounds of
them in every American home. And from the question, it
sounds like maybe they're talking about stopping making them. If
(24:48):
that helps Jack, what you got?
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Let me think, Oh wait a minute, yeah, what what
are Let's see? What are pennies?
Speaker 6 (24:58):
He was thinking?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Grand No, his acting just about as heavily as you. Well,
let's see if Jack is right, show us pennies. Yeah
all right, yeah, I ain't nobody gonna hand out no
awards for this way to go. Jack, You got the
(25:23):
big old old lawnmower's prize bag. It up counting for you.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Okay, Hey, I need to give a couple of shout outs.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Okay, well of course you can. You go ahead, all right.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
I like to shout out to all my union brothers
c W A thirty six oh one, and also all
my brothers and sisters in Allen's Creek Baptist Church.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Well, there you go, Jack, appreciate you and yours, all
your brothers and your sisters. Listen to the Big show man.
Got all right?
Speaker 6 (25:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I hang on, why the money? Hoar a jobbi you
On the other side, we have I remembering Rayford for
our Tuesday morning m can good morning. The Big Show's
(26:49):
on the radio. Another chance to join the winners is
coming up. You don't see what's up in rape studio.
Just what is a college degree worth? Rayford says. And
there's no check to a job. But what it.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
Means to you over the years.
Speaker 7 (27:05):
Yeah, you see it over and over again. These days,
many with new college degrees find the job market humbling.
New evidence is emerging that the damage wrought by the
sour economy is more widespread than just a few careers
let astray or postpone. Even for college graduates, the people
who were most protected from the slings and arrows of recession,
(27:28):
the outlook is rather bleak. What's more, only half the
jobs landed by these new graduates even require a college degree,
reviving debates about whether higher education is worth it. After all,
I'll admit that the less schooling you have, the more
likely you are to get thrown out of the better
labor market altogether. However, just how many jobs really require
(27:51):
a degree? Other professional positions usually requiring graduate study that
the government or professional organizations require documentation that you are
indeed qualified to perform that job or service. But don't
ever say that the college degree is wasted. After all,
it's a learning experience, learning about life, not to cope
(28:12):
with it, not how to perform a specific task. Think
of it that way. Spend your daddy's money somewhere else
about a trade school. Robert d Rafer, John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Show, Good Morning, It's a Big Shower, Radios are Back
(28:51):
to School show about twenty minutes. Tagger Jaggie's back to
school sale just a few minutes, shall I read some
actual essays from actual school students to show how much
help we need Right now we're in the end of
summer at j D's.
Speaker 18 (29:10):
Howdy Friends, Well, there ain't but a few weeks left
the summer, but there's still plenty of time to have
lots of outdoor fund and at JD's twenty four air
drive through, pont and gunauto parts, pharmaceutical adul't gift, bait
and tackle, discount cigarette out let, we can make a
second half of summer more fun than a six pack
of beer and a truckload of AMMO. We got fireworks,
jungle juice, spinner baits, hogjaws, potted meat, fake winners, and
the greatest new production of the summer, JD's Chinese Fortune
(29:31):
livers Now catfishing is twice the fun went inside every
chicken liveries you lucky lottery numbers and a dirty joke
we got in since Houstem's air filters, offensive t shirts,
krill guards, spark peels, fetish wearing. For a limited time only,
JD's two hundred proof corn Bred mixed never before as
a bubble of suit beans, knocked you flat of you ass,
and don't forget to come by this Tuesday night in
our air condition back room and giggle like a schoolgirl
(29:53):
when we tie up three peeda freaks and make them
watch us eat barbecue. And the fun never stops cause
on Thursday night we turn loose a busload of unarmed
anti gun activists in the mountains of eastern Kentucky next
to well hidden pot patches.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Oh, run for your lives. We got spray paint saddle.
Speaker 18 (30:06):
So if under our icy hot truck hitches buck spray
pro paine body condoms and a selection at you in
the backer covering six acres at ever store, Hey, try
some of our own flavors a backer like slobbering fits,
throat choke chew and cheek writing plush. So come on down,
what are you waiting for? Don't make this August as
born as one of them wood chopping competitions on ESPN two.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Orry, I'm down to.
Speaker 18 (30:24):
JD's twenty four hour drive through Ponting, Gato Parts, Pharmaceutical
Du't Gift, Bait and Tackle.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Discal cigarette outlets.
Speaker 18 (30:28):
Stop by our new location in Deep Gap, North Carolina,
next to one Eyed Charlie's Bald, peanuts and paving service.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Y other boy means good morning, you got the big
show on the radio. More chances for you to win
coming up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 15 (30:48):
Good morning, Thissious Cornery Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just a lot of sophisticated, get rugged Scottish
movie star, and you'd be right. Watch my sh grets.
The truth is I can't stop my day without listening
to the Big Show with John Boy and Billy trush me.
They're a lot funnier than Doctor Noan Blofeld.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Really
do you Tuesday Morning? Back to School Show? That September
second and now the following are winners of the worst
analogies ever written in a high school essay contest, continuing
kids are stupid. He spoke. This is from Joseph Rahm Washington.
(32:09):
Joseph wrote, he spoke with a wisdom that can only
come from experience, like a guy who went blind because
he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it, and now goes around
the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of
looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it.
Speaker 20 (32:26):
Alrighty then, Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station writes, she caught your
eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used
to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever
you banged the door open.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Again.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
That's a pretty woman.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Paul Siborn from Silver Spring. McBride fell twelve stories, hitting
the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
Speaker 20 (32:54):
I'm guessing that was a detective story of said so
I got like that mc russell feeling of Springfield. John
and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
who had also never met.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Barbara Featherall from Alexandria, Virginia. The thunder was ominous sounding ominous, ominous, ominous.
The thunder was ominous. Kids are love things. The thunder
was ominous, sounding much like the sound of a thin
(33:32):
sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene
in a play Hello Boy.
Speaker 20 (33:43):
Jack Bross from Chevy Chase, Maryland. He was as tall
as a six foot three inch tree.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Gary Hell from Silver Spring. The Hellstones leaped from the
pavement just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Speaker 20 (34:04):
Jennifer Hart from Arlington, Virginia. Long separated by cruel faith,
these star cross lovers raced across the grassy field towards
each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland
at six thirty six pm, traveling at fifty five miles
an hour, the other from Topeka at four nineteen at
a speed of thirty five miles an hour.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I know what she means, and here's our favorite from
author unknown. Her vocabulary was as bad as like whatever,
Good morning, big shows on the radio. Hang on with
tager Jackets. First, I'm gonna tell you what you can
(34:43):
win if you can beat the Blonde. It's a big
old Blue Emu prize. Back includes two jars of blue
Emu pain Relief Cream. Blue Emu works fast and won't
make you stink. Also a tube of pb CEO TC
itch relief Cream You'd fast safe ittrylief from insect bikes,
Boys and I Moore pbz O TC available now without
a prescription. Available in store and online at Walmart, Amazon,
(35:07):
nother fond retailers. Hang I'll play four to ten minutes.
Speaker 16 (35:14):
Hello friends, your old pal bertburn here hits that time
of year again when parents can breathe a sigh of relief,
get a little me time, and push the care and
feeding of their horrible offspring on the state. That's right
back to school, so ring the bell and send them
back to hell in style thanks to the big back
to school sale at Tacky Jackie's Close for hose, does
(35:36):
your daughter dress like a crackhead? Does your closet look
like Lindsay Lohan's laundry hamper? Is your lint trap full
of sequins and glitter? To your friends, think you've adopted
Miley Cyrus? To your nosy neighbors give you a sympathetic
pat on the back while handing you a gift certificate
for planned parenthood?
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Is that the state of affairs in your household? Snookums,
We'll guess what.
Speaker 16 (35:56):
Despite your best attempts to dress your little darling as
a treasure, tarted up like total trash, and no amount
of complaining tears and empty threats are going to change it,
she's drissing like a hoe. So go with the flow
in style and Tacky Jackie's she.
Speaker 7 (36:14):
Your money.
Speaker 15 (36:15):
Yummy.
Speaker 16 (36:17):
Tacky jackie S Carry's all the top dings for school
age sartorial trappery brands like Stakin Skank, Tammy Millfiger, George,
Your Harmony, a Legro for slutty, and of course via
wag My Joy.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
They're all friendly and they're red.
Speaker 16 (36:39):
They're all here at Colossal Savings over regular retail because
with a moral direction of your child, you'll need all
your available money to bail out your honey. Be sure
to check out our quirky teenage on site bail bondsman,
mister Dinky. Just remember, if your daughter's kinky and the
situation's hanky, it's time to shake hands with mister Dan,
(37:00):
and you'll only find him here at Tacky Jackie's Clothes
for Hose. Tacky Jackie has something for everyone. Preteens, post
tings in betweens, prom queens, drama, queens, closet queens, tweakers, sneakers, debate,
club speakers, tweeters, cheaters, tarti bell beaters, geeks, freaks, chubby cheeks, snoozers, boozers,
chess club losers, crunkers, punkers, amateur spelunkers, fruities, beauties, girls
(37:24):
with cooties, jewelers, poolers, above ground poolers, goobs, noobs, dudes, duds,
and then one kid with a six hair mustache, peer
styled and crooked mullet that keeps inviting you on a snipepunk.
We've got you all covered at Tacky Jackie's, and don't worry, guys,
we haven't forgotten you. This weekend only, we've got a
humungus fifty percent off sale on our entire line of
(37:46):
pine sized, pip and puty playoff fashions. Neon green, pink
and orange polyester bell bottoms with a fur lined athletics
supporter on the outside, Paisley overalls with comfy spandex crunch
so you can boogle at platform Sneakers with optional training wheels.
All purchases over seventy five dollars will receive absolutely free
(38:06):
a complimentary chest hair wig for all you virgins and
late bloomers only at Tacki Jackies.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Clothes for hose stuff and Saturday only.
Speaker 16 (38:17):
Be sure to come hungry to get you ready for
the school year. The lunch room gals from Grizzly Stump
Elementary will be serving free grub cafeteria style from eleven
am to noon. They'll have all your favorites heaping, steaming,
bubbling ladles, of the green stuff, the brown stuff.
Speaker 20 (38:34):
I don't have some of the yell, and the all
new blue.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Stuff don't get cheap.
Speaker 16 (38:39):
Only all one is approved by Michelle Obama. Whatever you do,
don't miss the big back to school sale at Taki
Jackie's Clothes for Hose.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
And here we grow again with a brand new location.
Speaker 16 (38:53):
Look for the hand painted sign on Seventh Street, right
behind Jews and Jugs, coach er Strip Parlor and across
the street from Captain his hands on.
Speaker 6 (39:00):
Piercings and Lasik eye surgery.
Speaker 16 (39:03):
Knock on the door and marked livestock and asked for
Shecky Galecki, the world's funniest dark eleptic. And if he
doesn't fall asleep, he'll let you into a wonderland of savings,
the kind of savings you'll only find that tacky Jackie's
Clothes for Hose.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
This is your old Pelbert Fern saying see you there,
all right, I'm taking there and just get in there
and go around a little bit there, ready for beating
the blonde for the big old blue EMU prize pack.
Will let's do it one eight hundred big show you
told free Line. We'll get a contestant and play next
Good morning. You got the big show on the radio.
More chance for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Ut Mama, all I wanted to do was have a
let us sandwich on gluten bread, a tall glass of buttermilk,
and crawl under a bearskin rug. Why do I have
to listen to that John Boy person and Billy whoever
on that noisy big shoe button.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Mama got up and out them. It's Tuesday, September twoth,
(01:12):
twenty and twenty five. Hope y'all had a good labor
day Monday. You got to pace yourself and rest from
some labor. Y'all looking nice and relaxed, ready to get
it off in the fall. Yeah, we always do our
annual back to school show the Tuesday after labor days.
That is what we're gonna do today. You don't have
(01:35):
fun with it?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Right?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
All the wonderful things you did this summer? Ooh, wonderful things.
I got a brand new wonderful thing. This is number
one hundred and fifty five if you're keeping score at home.
It's a Costa Rican peddler's bracelet that I am modeling there. Yeah,
I got that little coach ring kid, come up. They
got all this stuff they trying to sell you. They'll
(02:00):
chase you around all over the place when you're coming
in the marina getting off the boat. Yeah, that's the way.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
This one's made out of what's called coco bolo wood.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Uh. Pretty nice, huh for the Swede. Sharp sharing my
summer bounty with you guys. Get you in the half.
Check it out you see. Uh, you can't zee them
up on it. Maybe order to do a close up
on it too, right, not me go back off, back
way off? All right, probably bring more. Oh wait, you're
(02:30):
giving it away? All right, Well here we are. Glad
you with us. We're gonna get that winning begin to
get the first prize pack out in minutes. All right,
we're wake big shows on a radio. Good morning, Big
shows on a radio. First prize package this morning. Oh,
our buds from Law Tiger has got a cool hat,
(02:51):
t shirt or tumbler. Even though twenty five dollars gas card.
Fill up your motorsacle from Law Tigers. Motorcycle lawyers who
ride represent again your drivers for over two decades with
Lord Tigers. You never ride alone. Go on to Banner
when you hit the big show dot com find out
all about it. Listen up here, winning the package three
(03:12):
dates in history. Well, we're going to categories. In nineteen
seventy eight, at the wedding of Emilio Estevan and Gloria Fajardo,
arriving guests had to do the conga on the way
to their seats, like something you'd do, right, Well, I
made you do the hokey pokey did. Yeah, that was
after the let's move up to.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
What Sorry, that's the Miami sound machine. Gloria Stefan.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Yeah, oh is that her? Yeah, Gloria Fojardo was her
maiden name. There. Huh, how about that?
Speaker 3 (03:47):
All right?
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
That take all right. Two thoy eleven, the Federal Housing
Finance Agency announce it would take a legal action against
seventeen major banks that believe contributed to the financial collects
through losses in subprime mortgages. Some of the banks had
plans on so include Goldman, Sucks, Bank of America, and HSBC,
(04:11):
HSBZ High School.
Speaker 6 (04:15):
Comity.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
All right, finally, he's just worry about three banks for
that kind of going. And then twenty twenty four, a
new world record for eating eighty three hot dogs was
sent by guess who Oh, Joey Chestnut. It was in
Netflix's unfinished Beef Labor Day Showdown. That's when he couldn't
compete at the Nathan's Hot Dog getting because of what
(04:38):
he's sponsored by, like a meatless wany or something. Hey,
that was my nickname in high school. In fact, they anyway,
he ate eighty three over on netflixes that record. Oh joy,
we had him on The Big Show several times. Yeah,
you know he's bigger than the little you know Asian
(05:01):
girl weighs about eighty pounds.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
Well, you don't need to do this, but there's a
lot of these competitive eaters on YouTube now and a
lot of them are you know, thin women, you know,
little shorts. How in the world did you eat nine
hundred pizzas?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well, let's just deal with one hot dog. Let's just
think about a hot dog here. That'll do for our
categories one eight hundred Big Show you told free line,
come on, play out birds next, Good morning, This is
(05:55):
a Big Show on the radio Tuesday mornings up to
a second twintae fi feature track for The Big Show.
Mid Bock Phil McCracken Summertime woes. Search for key words
woes here in the bed box at the Bigshow dot com.
I right now, that's.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
Upburst.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Let's play Upburst. It's the game that anyone can win.
John Boy and Billy to give the prizes from the
big Prize being. Let's go ma contested number one. This
should really be a lot of fun when you're playing Upburst.
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
(06:39):
best time you have a big shots. Let's say, hey,
turn Loretta from Hollow Pond Alla bab we have a shot.
Good morning, Loretta, morning, hey baby, welcome. All right, let's
(07:04):
get you to these three categories Loretta, and get you
the prize pack. First thing you ready, I'm ready? Okay,
think about weddings. Here, three songs you would hear at
a wedding reception. Ready, go.
Speaker 7 (07:21):
And Macarina Turner and the Electricide.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
There's no all romantic ballad.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
All I will always love you.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
What's the name of that one?
Speaker 5 (07:37):
I will always love you?
Speaker 1 (07:42):
Whitney? All right, Loretta, back to your baby. Give us
three banks ready, go okay, let's do chase.
Speaker 9 (07:56):
Bank of America and we'll.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
All right. You did it? Now around for the wind.
Three things you put on a hot dog? Ready?
Speaker 10 (08:09):
Go, messr and Onion.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
On that.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
They're on long Tiger's Prize Packlorada will give it to
you down beautiful Holly Pond. Yes all ride bottom of
the hour, on top of your news. Robert Rocaine Monday
Morning song.
Speaker 8 (08:40):
It's this Tuesday feels like a Monday, dude, we'll do it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Good morning. There's a big show on the radio. I
want to thank all you big show listeners who listen
to a Robert url Keane applause for the cause. Concert
for Texas Hill Country last week raised a bunch of money. Man,
it was very cool. Thank you so much. We thank
Robert Earl Keane right there help him founts. You know,
it's what he does man, right there in his hometown,
(09:40):
right in Texas. How about a little Robert Earl swerving
in a lane this morning. That's done by Robert Earl
Kean is being lying in.
Speaker 6 (09:49):
A bitch city.
Speaker 11 (09:51):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 12 (09:58):
Sometimes on my some days are filled with and rid
As I travel, I left some bad things ain't going
my way because there's always someone swarming in my life.
(10:19):
You keep swerving in my life.
Speaker 11 (10:23):
And it's causing lots of banger. I'm a honking on
my horror. I'm shooting you the flame. Keep switching on
my bride lights.
Speaker 13 (10:39):
To him.
Speaker 11 (10:42):
When you're swerving all lives pie by, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 12 (10:51):
The day Jove, Why I thought I never.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Never the looming there?
Speaker 12 (11:00):
How else could I feed? But nowing you run into me,
I can't believe I could not see her all tank.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Up, No one's at the waiting.
Speaker 11 (11:19):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bag.
Speaker 6 (11:27):
I'm a cussing out your name.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I'm shooting in the fine.
Speaker 11 (11:35):
I keep switching on my bride lights. But you're just
too dimpty. Now when you're swerving all lights, how way
you're running someone off the ride.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Driving a big show. Good morning, and it's a big
(12:23):
show on no radio. Here we go action, Hello.
Speaker 14 (12:30):
Friends, your old pal Burnt Burn Here with another breast
drooping edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode
It's the thought that counts. As our story opens and
old couple are getting ready to celebrate their golden anniversary.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Honey, dinner's ready.
Speaker 5 (12:50):
Oh my, mister, fancy lobster tails and ribbi steak, asparagus
and garlic butter, caesar salad.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
And Cherry's Jubilee for dessert.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
Herbert my favorite.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
Well, fifty years deserves something special.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
Well, I'll just say this wasn't necessary, but I love it.
Speaker 6 (13:08):
And the start us off a bottle of nineteen fifty
seven dom Perignon Beautiful. Did you think we'd make it
this far? Yes?
Speaker 5 (13:17):
I mean all couples have rough patches, but we both
hung in there.
Speaker 6 (13:21):
Honey. Now, I don't want to ruin the mood or anything.
What's wrong? Well, I just want to know if you
were ever you know, unfaithful to me.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Well, since you asked yes three times. Oh remember when
you needed money to start your business and no one
would help. Well, I slept with the bank manager just
cure alone.
Speaker 6 (13:43):
You made that sacrifice for me. What a wife.
Speaker 5 (13:47):
And remember that operation you needed that no one would
perform because it was too dangerous. Well, I slept with
the surgeon so he'd do it.
Speaker 6 (13:54):
Oh my god, honey, you saved my life. What was
the third time?
Speaker 15 (14:00):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Why bring up all those old memories? Dinner's getting cold.
Speaker 6 (14:03):
Well, I would just like to know.
Speaker 5 (14:05):
Well, all right, remember when you wanted to be president
of the golf club and you were fifty two votes short.
Speaker 16 (14:11):
Son of.
Speaker 9 (14:18):
Edw WE hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse
buttonos top two buttons you who tune in next time
when we'll hear the lucky ball washer at the.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Golf club say, hey, big man, let me.
Speaker 6 (14:31):
Hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Good morning everybody, if my Big Show family yours, thank
you for listening, your listen news? What a sports coming up? Eh?
Speaker 16 (14:43):
Hello listen Rickey bag Yark so sad? How about you
pot lickers are listen to that? A couple other pot
liquors noted John boyd Philly on the Big Show. You know,
I just a guest star on the Playhouse at the
official meskot from mister Populist to Pizzure run.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
That's just a tip of the iceberg.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
But this note from John Boy keep it short, shut.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Good morning. It's a big show on the radio. It's
all back to school show, all way doing day after
Labor Day, Monday. It usually lands on a Tuesday. How
about that. Look at ahead. They're already sept there on
the second to October. Fell our boys, the Southern rock
(16:06):
band Jive Mother Mary. They're gonna be hitting the roads.
Port of zz tops Elevation Tour this October. Jake about
the boys over to the zz Top. Also, Man, they're
gonna get open for skinners Leonard Skinner and rowing over
rapids on October to third, so right at the beginning
of the month. Man hitting it. You to follow him
(16:27):
on social media Jive Mother Mary. Check out Jivemothermary dot com.
You get tickets in tour days. You when to come
to lease. I'm boring all right. Back to school, get
hit with dub uh classic back to School Playhouse in minutes.
Big Show rolls on Good Morning, Big Shows on the radio.
(16:51):
Get the first pack out here. I got it World
on More's Park Prize Wag. I'm just gonna keep throwing
out syllables. Maybe get back to school. I should arrested
on Labor Day. Yeah, I was on that World Lawn
more Man got grass cut, but bore. The weather has
(17:13):
been awesome. You ready for you more well? World Lawn
the best value zero turn mores on the market. Got
a three year unlimited hours warranting commercial grade Kawasaki Engines
heavy duty fabricated decks starting at just thirty two ninety nine.
And then boys will scoot too and still cut good
(17:34):
and fast World, lawn, tough on grass, easy on your wallet.
Click on the link when you hit the Big Show
dot Com, hang on play four to ten minutes.
Speaker 17 (17:45):
Welcome to a John, Boy and Billy playhouse. Today's episode,
Dub goes back to school. Because our story opens, Dub
arrives at Brushywood Elementary School with his granddaughter, Missy.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
This is where I said, Grandpa, thanks for coming to
class with me today.
Speaker 13 (18:04):
Glad to do it, Sweetie?
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Say is that your teacher? Yes, that's miss Craptree.
Speaker 13 (18:09):
She's a real cute. Do you know teachers don't look
like that when I was in school. If I was
about ten years younger, I might have to take out
after her.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Grandpa.
Speaker 6 (18:20):
Would you do me a big favor?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Please don't start hitting on my teacher. No ways, Sweetie.
I promised to be good.
Speaker 6 (18:27):
I feel better.
Speaker 10 (18:29):
Good morning, boys and girls. First of all, we want
to welcome our special guests that are here for Grandparents' Day.
We thank you all for coming and we hope you
enjoy your visit.
Speaker 13 (18:39):
Uh, thank you for having us. Excuse me, I said,
thank you for having us.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
My name is doub Well.
Speaker 10 (18:48):
It's very nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Doug.
Speaker 10 (18:51):
Okay, class. Today, we're going to talk about using the
right word when we're speaking to someone. It's very important
to Yes, Doub, did you have a question?
Speaker 13 (19:02):
Can I borrow a pencil?
Speaker 10 (19:05):
A pencil? Well, I believe I have one right here, Scooter,
would you pass that pencil to mister Dub.
Speaker 13 (19:12):
Thank you, ma'am, Grandpa, you promised. All I did was
ask her for a pencil.
Speaker 10 (19:29):
All right, now, using the right word, if you want
to be clearly understood, you have to pick the right
word to describe. Yes, Dub, you have another question.
Speaker 13 (19:41):
Anybody got a sheet of paper I can borrow?
Speaker 5 (19:46):
Sir?
Speaker 10 (19:46):
The grandparents don't actually have to do any of the
class work. You just are supposed to sit and observe.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Oh pardon me, now.
Speaker 10 (19:57):
Where were we?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (19:58):
Yes, using the right word today, let's talk about the
word tragedy. Can anyone describe a situation that would be
a tragedy?
Speaker 18 (20:07):
Yes, Scooter, Yeah, save me and my brother were playing
baseball and he hit the ball and it knocked one
of my teeth out.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
That would be a tragedy.
Speaker 10 (20:17):
Well, not exactly, Scooter. That sounds more like an accident.
Anyone else, Yes, Travis.
Speaker 19 (20:24):
Okay, it'd be like if you bought like a really
cool game for like your sony PlayStation and junk, and
you know, you're like, you know you're going to be
like taking it over to a friend's house, you know,
and all the way you like dropped it into like
the storm drain and junk.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
That now, now that would be like a tragedy.
Speaker 10 (20:43):
Well, Travis, that wouldn't really be a tragedy either, that
would be what we might call a great loss.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Man, I'm like stupid, he's like bummer man.
Speaker 10 (21:00):
All right, does anyone else want to give it a shot?
Anyone at all? Okay, how about some of our special guests.
Would any of you grandparents like to describe a tragedy
for us? Yes, mister dub.
Speaker 13 (21:13):
Sure, Bill and Hillary Clinton got on airplane. A lot
after it took off, it blew into amazing pieces. That
that would be a tragedy.
Speaker 10 (21:23):
Very good, mister Dubb. Could you explain to the class
exactly why it would be a tragedy?
Speaker 13 (21:31):
Well, because it probably wouldn't be an accident. It sure
wouldn't be a great helloss.
Speaker 17 (21:47):
We hope you've enjoyed John boyn Bully Playhouse. Tune in
again next time when we'll hear mister Dubb say.
Speaker 13 (21:54):
Well, missus Crabtree, I guess you'll have to make me
stay after school.
Speaker 6 (21:57):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I don't get it. He's he's an like it wouldn't
be an accident like Johnny blew him up and stuff.
So this is Jesus as if earth to dub All right, alright,
more back to school funds throughout the morning. First, we're
(22:24):
gonna play us some john Boy Jeopardy. Maybe learn something.
Let's jump right in here. Even if they do stop
making these, we shouldn't run out of them for a while.
In fact, it's estimated that they are an average of
six pounds of them in every American home.
Speaker 5 (22:42):
What are empty Amazon boxes?
Speaker 14 (22:44):
That?
Speaker 1 (22:45):
That's about?
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (22:47):
What y'all? God one eight hundred big show you told
free line. We play john Boy Jeopardy next, Good Tuesday
(23:18):
morning and this is a big show on the radio,
back to school show for the septembery. Second, we got
our future track with a big show bit box film
a crack in summertime woes. I'm no film this summer
that much. Check it out keyword woes hit the big
box at the Big Show dot Com. Right now, let's play.
Speaker 8 (23:38):
Oh yeah, let's play.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
It's John Boy Jeopardy and now your host. He really
does believe that laughter is the best medicine unless you
have diarrhea. Well then not so much.
Speaker 6 (23:53):
Peas John boyd.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Roads say hey to Jack had a Canton, North Carolina.
Good morning, Jack, Good morning. How are you John boy? Man?
We good body? How you up there in the high country.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
We are doing great.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'll tell you what.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
It's just got a little cool this morning.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Man. That is nice. I know, even down here in
the in the city, it felt.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Good that time I got the first time, called her.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
All right, let's get out with Jack. All right, well
you got the first shot out of this morning. Jack.
Even if they do stop making these, we shouldn't run
out of them for a while. In fact, it is
estimated that they were an average of six pounds of
them in every American home. And from the question, it
sounds like maybe they're talking about stopping making them. If
(24:48):
that helps Jack, what you got?
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Let me think, Oh wait a minute, yeah, what what
are Let's see? What are pennies?
Speaker 6 (24:58):
He was thinking?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Grand No, his acting just about as heavily as you. Well,
let's see if Jack is right, show us pennies. Yeah
all right, yeah, I ain't nobody gonna hand out no
awards for this way to go. Jack, You got the
(25:23):
big old old lawnmower's prize bag. It up counting for you.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Okay, Hey, I need to give a couple of shout outs.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Okay, well of course you can. You go ahead, all right.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
I like to shout out to all my union brothers
c W A thirty six oh one, and also all
my brothers and sisters in Allen's Creek Baptist Church.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Well, there you go, Jack, appreciate you and yours, all
your brothers and your sisters. Listen to the Big show man.
Got all right?
Speaker 6 (25:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I hang on, why the money? Hoar a jobbi you
On the other side, we have I remembering Rayford for
our Tuesday morning m can good morning. The Big Show's
(26:49):
on the radio. Another chance to join the winners is
coming up. You don't see what's up in rape studio.
Just what is a college degree worth? Rayford says. And
there's no check to a job. But what it.
Speaker 6 (27:01):
Means to you over the years.
Speaker 7 (27:05):
Yeah, you see it over and over again. These days,
many with new college degrees find the job market humbling.
New evidence is emerging that the damage wrought by the
sour economy is more widespread than just a few careers
let astray or postpone. Even for college graduates, the people
who were most protected from the slings and arrows of recession,
(27:28):
the outlook is rather bleak. What's more, only half the
jobs landed by these new graduates even require a college degree,
reviving debates about whether higher education is worth it. After all,
I'll admit that the less schooling you have, the more
likely you are to get thrown out of the better
labor market altogether. However, just how many jobs really require
(27:51):
a degree? Other professional positions usually requiring graduate study that
the government or professional organizations require documentation that you are
indeed qualified to perform that job or service. But don't
ever say that the college degree is wasted. After all,
it's a learning experience, learning about life, not to cope
(28:12):
with it, not how to perform a specific task. Think
of it that way. Spend your daddy's money somewhere else
about a trade school. Robert d Rafer, John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Show, Good Morning, It's a Big Shower, Radios are Back
(28:51):
to School show about twenty minutes. Tagger Jaggie's back to
school sale just a few minutes, shall I read some
actual essays from actual school students to show how much
help we need Right now we're in the end of
summer at j D's.
Speaker 18 (29:10):
Howdy Friends, Well, there ain't but a few weeks left
the summer, but there's still plenty of time to have
lots of outdoor fund and at JD's twenty four air
drive through, pont and gunauto parts, pharmaceutical adul't gift, bait
and tackle, discount cigarette out let, we can make a
second half of summer more fun than a six pack
of beer and a truckload of AMMO. We got fireworks,
jungle juice, spinner baits, hogjaws, potted meat, fake winners, and
the greatest new production of the summer, JD's Chinese Fortune
(29:31):
livers Now catfishing is twice the fun went inside every
chicken liveries you lucky lottery numbers and a dirty joke
we got in since Houstem's air filters, offensive t shirts,
krill guards, spark peels, fetish wearing. For a limited time only,
JD's two hundred proof corn Bred mixed never before as
a bubble of suit beans, knocked you flat of you ass,
and don't forget to come by this Tuesday night in
our air condition back room and giggle like a schoolgirl
(29:53):
when we tie up three peeda freaks and make them
watch us eat barbecue. And the fun never stops cause
on Thursday night we turn loose a busload of unarmed
anti gun activists in the mountains of eastern Kentucky next
to well hidden pot patches.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Oh, run for your lives. We got spray paint saddle.
Speaker 18 (30:06):
So if under our icy hot truck hitches buck spray
pro paine body condoms and a selection at you in
the backer covering six acres at ever store, Hey, try
some of our own flavors a backer like slobbering fits,
throat choke chew and cheek writing plush. So come on down,
what are you waiting for? Don't make this August as
born as one of them wood chopping competitions on ESPN two.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Orry, I'm down to.
Speaker 18 (30:24):
JD's twenty four hour drive through Ponting, Gato Parts, Pharmaceutical
Du't Gift, Bait and Tackle.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Discal cigarette outlets.
Speaker 18 (30:28):
Stop by our new location in Deep Gap, North Carolina,
next to one Eyed Charlie's Bald, peanuts and paving service.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Y other boy means good morning, you got the big
show on the radio. More chances for you to win
coming up after your news, weather and sports.
Speaker 15 (30:48):
Good morning, Thissious Cornery Sean Connery. And you might think
that I'm just a lot of sophisticated, get rugged Scottish
movie star, and you'd be right. Watch my sh grets.
The truth is I can't stop my day without listening
to the Big Show with John Boy and Billy trush me.
They're a lot funnier than Doctor Noan Blofeld.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Really
do you Tuesday Morning? Back to School Show? That September
second and now the following are winners of the worst
analogies ever written in a high school essay contest, continuing
kids are stupid. He spoke. This is from Joseph Rahm Washington.
(32:09):
Joseph wrote, he spoke with a wisdom that can only
come from experience, like a guy who went blind because
he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those
boxes with a pinhole in it, and now goes around
the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of
looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
with a pinhole in it.
Speaker 20 (32:26):
Alrighty then, Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station writes, she caught your
eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used
to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever
you banged the door open.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Again.
Speaker 6 (32:42):
That's a pretty woman.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Paul Siborn from Silver Spring. McBride fell twelve stories, hitting
the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
Speaker 20 (32:54):
I'm guessing that was a detective story of said so
I got like that mc russell feeling of Springfield. John
and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
who had also never met.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Barbara Featherall from Alexandria, Virginia. The thunder was ominous sounding ominous, ominous, ominous.
The thunder was ominous. Kids are love things. The thunder
was ominous, sounding much like the sound of a thin
(33:32):
sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene
in a play Hello Boy.
Speaker 20 (33:43):
Jack Bross from Chevy Chase, Maryland. He was as tall
as a six foot three inch tree.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Gary Hell from Silver Spring. The Hellstones leaped from the
pavement just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Speaker 20 (34:04):
Jennifer Hart from Arlington, Virginia. Long separated by cruel faith,
these star cross lovers raced across the grassy field towards
each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland
at six thirty six pm, traveling at fifty five miles
an hour, the other from Topeka at four nineteen at
a speed of thirty five miles an hour.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I know what she means, and here's our favorite from
author unknown. Her vocabulary was as bad as like whatever,
Good morning, big shows on the radio. Hang on with
tager Jackets. First, I'm gonna tell you what you can
(34:43):
win if you can beat the Blonde. It's a big
old Blue Emu prize. Back includes two jars of blue
Emu pain Relief Cream. Blue Emu works fast and won't
make you stink. Also a tube of pb CEO TC
itch relief Cream You'd fast safe ittrylief from insect bikes,
Boys and I Moore pbz O TC available now without
a prescription. Available in store and online at Walmart, Amazon,
(35:07):
nother fond retailers. Hang I'll play four to ten minutes.
Speaker 16 (35:14):
Hello friends, your old pal bertburn here hits that time
of year again when parents can breathe a sigh of relief,
get a little me time, and push the care and
feeding of their horrible offspring on the state. That's right
back to school, so ring the bell and send them
back to hell in style thanks to the big back
to school sale at Tacky Jackie's Close for hose, does
(35:36):
your daughter dress like a crackhead? Does your closet look
like Lindsay Lohan's laundry hamper? Is your lint trap full
of sequins and glitter? To your friends, think you've adopted
Miley Cyrus? To your nosy neighbors give you a sympathetic
pat on the back while handing you a gift certificate
for planned parenthood?
Speaker 1 (35:51):
Is that the state of affairs in your household? Snookums,
We'll guess what.
Speaker 16 (35:56):
Despite your best attempts to dress your little darling as
a treasure, tarted up like total trash, and no amount
of complaining tears and empty threats are going to change it,
she's drissing like a hoe. So go with the flow
in style and Tacky Jackie's she.
Speaker 7 (36:14):
Your money.
Speaker 15 (36:15):
Yummy.
Speaker 16 (36:17):
Tacky jackie S Carry's all the top dings for school
age sartorial trappery brands like Stakin Skank, Tammy Millfiger, George,
Your Harmony, a Legro for slutty, and of course via
wag My Joy.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
They're all friendly and they're red.
Speaker 16 (36:39):
They're all here at Colossal Savings over regular retail because
with a moral direction of your child, you'll need all
your available money to bail out your honey. Be sure
to check out our quirky teenage on site bail bondsman,
mister Dinky. Just remember, if your daughter's kinky and the
situation's hanky, it's time to shake hands with mister Dan,
(37:00):
and you'll only find him here at Tacky Jackie's Clothes
for Hose. Tacky Jackie has something for everyone. Preteens, post
tings in betweens, prom queens, drama, queens, closet queens, tweakers, sneakers, debate,
club speakers, tweeters, cheaters, tarti bell beaters, geeks, freaks, chubby cheeks, snoozers, boozers,
chess club losers, crunkers, punkers, amateur spelunkers, fruities, beauties, girls
(37:24):
with cooties, jewelers, poolers, above ground poolers, goobs, noobs, dudes, duds,
and then one kid with a six hair mustache, peer
styled and crooked mullet that keeps inviting you on a snipepunk.
We've got you all covered at Tacky Jackie's, and don't worry, guys,
we haven't forgotten you. This weekend only, we've got a
humungus fifty percent off sale on our entire line of
(37:46):
pine sized, pip and puty playoff fashions. Neon green, pink
and orange polyester bell bottoms with a fur lined athletics
supporter on the outside, Paisley overalls with comfy spandex crunch
so you can boogle at platform Sneakers with optional training wheels.
All purchases over seventy five dollars will receive absolutely free
(38:06):
a complimentary chest hair wig for all you virgins and
late bloomers only at Tacki Jackies.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Clothes for hose stuff and Saturday only.
Speaker 16 (38:17):
Be sure to come hungry to get you ready for
the school year. The lunch room gals from Grizzly Stump
Elementary will be serving free grub cafeteria style from eleven
am to noon. They'll have all your favorites heaping, steaming,
bubbling ladles, of the green stuff, the brown stuff.
Speaker 20 (38:34):
I don't have some of the yell, and the all
new blue.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Stuff don't get cheap.
Speaker 16 (38:39):
Only all one is approved by Michelle Obama. Whatever you do,
don't miss the big back to school sale at Taki
Jackie's Clothes for Hose.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
And here we grow again with a brand new location.
Speaker 16 (38:53):
Look for the hand painted sign on Seventh Street, right
behind Jews and Jugs, coach er Strip Parlor and across
the street from Captain his hands on.
Speaker 6 (39:00):
Piercings and Lasik eye surgery.
Speaker 16 (39:03):
Knock on the door and marked livestock and asked for
Shecky Galecki, the world's funniest dark eleptic. And if he
doesn't fall asleep, he'll let you into a wonderland of savings,
the kind of savings you'll only find that tacky Jackie's
Clothes for Hose.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
This is your old Pelbert Fern saying see you there,
all right, I'm taking there and just get in there
and go around a little bit there, ready for beating
the blonde for the big old blue EMU prize pack.
Will let's do it one eight hundred big show you
told free Line. We'll get a contestant and play next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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