July 8, 2025 • 39 mins
Tuesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Mad Max makes an early appearance to sound off about the banks charging for cash.. - We’ll dip back into the listener’s mailbag.. - John Boy gets his cell phone back and Randy fills him in on the calls he missed.. - We’ll give “Trailer Fabulous” a spin.. - John Boy complains about how much Randy’s daughter is charging for pet sitting.. - Buzz Nutley has to be rescued from a restaurant booth.. - Tim Wilson steps into the role of Uncle B.S. .. - and we’ll wrap up today with a letter from “an old guy”…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good barning Big Show listeners. This is the Honorable Mayor
Merwin H. Fiddle swap Uh. I'm missinggan oh fiddle swoop.
It's a beautiful day in dismal Seepach, South Carolina, and
it's even better when we're listening to the John Boy
and Billy Big soal a mister n H Big Show.
But that reminds me come on down for the forty
(00:21):
second annual dismal Seepach Big Sal Festival.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah that one spelled correctly.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Good morning, Big Show is on your radio Tuesday morning,
July the eighth John Mobile, Rene Pillars some studio right now.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Things and your maters are up on the website the
Big Show Dot.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, well blam, let's look at them. Will you go
out and look on the plant?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
I know, I want to.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
See what they look like on the webs, dupid. I
know what they look like in person. I just want
to make sure they were captured. I know what they
look like in person. I want to see a picture of.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
The box turtle threes all over it.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
That's wold man, y'all gonna see this. This turtle is
just threes all over it all right. So then now
you click on we got majors.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
All right, And there's Johnny's maters, there's me. I'm frond
of the major plant.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
And if you click on the picture of you with
your majors, should get a little movie of you talking
about it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Really, that's it. I know.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
There's your sign, the sign that's bilingual. Uh, there's you
grinning with your tomatoes.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
That was my first major. Yes, it wasn't as big.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
And for those of you without access to the internet, yes,
we're serious.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
I can't believe Mom was asking me if my major
place right outside the door.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yes, Mama, stupid ho Wait you did not, old man? Yeah, ol, buddy,
it's over.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
See they looked better in person. Say, I knew Jay
couldn't capture it right on field.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I don't have to go. I don't have to go
work with that boy.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Jay's busy taking pictures of restaurants sign. He's like a
chimp with a new toy. He's have to take pictures
of everything.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
He finally showed me something yesterday, some other picture that
he took off the back patio of his house or something.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
He just laid it in front of him.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Went huh, and I went your borderline astronis well.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Jay got a new digital camera and it's like a
film too.
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Big show cameraman Jay Nutley.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
All right, y'all, let's say tizy'd you like, we'll give
your legs up? First game gonna be outbirds. Yeah, Hey,
I'll give your legs up and play in minutes. That
morning is a big Jon the radio, Tuesday morning, julye
the eighth of y'all doing it. Here you go, listen
for your legs up. Is where we're getting our categories
with out birds getting ready to play. Anything about picking
up the phone, give us a call, listen up, thinking
(03:18):
along with us, see what we might use as a
category based on this date in history. Like TV executive
Rune Arledge, he created ABC's Wide World of Sports, which
premiered in nineteen sixty one. The series exposed viewers of
previously neglected games, including gymnastics and figure skating. Woo part
of the show's opening narration This.
Speaker 8 (03:39):
Weekend on ABC's Wide World of Sports, a special event
that marks the first of our history. Live from Caesar's
Palace in Las Vegas, Jim McKay brings you two white
guys boxing. It's an ABC exclusive. Two white guys boxing.
Then it's left to South Africa to see five white
guys playing basketball. Yes, you can count on ABC's Wide
World of Sports to bring the sports that don't interest
(04:01):
any other network.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Of course, the opening spanning the globe to bring in
the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, falling slope.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Here's a white guy finally, Actually that was a black guy.
And then we'll go to NBA All Stars take Home
World Cup. Yachtie. I don't know if you'll quit playing
(04:39):
that music. I'll just go through the agent. What do
you have your hand on my thing? I can't stop.
Excuse me? Wow, now there's something you don't offer seeing
you guys are supposed to do that in the Hoddels.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Anyway show's key host Jim McKay, Howard Cosel, Frank Gifford,
Alm and Heywood Hall brun Bruin whatever. Wide World Sports
wasn't an immediate hit, however, but it's soon caught on
and changed the away television.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Coverage sporting events.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Harlist died December fifth, two thousand and two, complications prostate shirt.
On this day in eighteen eighty one, Edward Berner of
Two Rivers Wisconsin served the world's first ice cream Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
He offered his Sunday concoction only on Sundays.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
One of the fellers from markets.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And finally Coca Cola inventor John Pemberton would have been
one hundred and seventy two today.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Billy's hero. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Yo, there go, we'll get that category's most states in history.
You want to play Dial one eight hundred big show,
Well that Colin nine.
Speaker 9 (05:47):
We'll do it next.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Good morning, a big shows on your radio. Moved around
about twenty hour. Come on, first game.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
In the morning.
Speaker 10 (06:18):
Always playing up Let's play Upburst. It's the game that
anyone can win, John Boy and Bully. We give the
prizes from the big Prize being. Let's go make contested
number one. This should really be a lot of fun
to win. You're playing Upburst. Have a hurry up and
(06:41):
guest time. You have the best time. You have a
big shots.
Speaker 11 (06:48):
First listener line, have a big show, Jamie, have a dog,
George Shots, Hey, Jamy.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
John Bow, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Bady? That man? What's going on with you?
Speaker 6 (07:05):
I'm just sitting here trying to get though. I noticed
the lady yesterday got doing her birthday, and I noticed
a lot of people get doing her birthday?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Is it your birthday?
Speaker 5 (07:14):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Well, just that just amused you for some reason.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
Well, yeah I did. I thought it was funny everything
we had.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
We had two people to soon ladies.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
The first one out birst yesterday, that's right, and then
the last stupid quiz.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
Well Randy. You know, Randy don't have much to do.
Maybe he can sit down and figure that out and
see what the odds are.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Realie, how about figuring that out? I'm getting up with Jamie. So, Jamie,
when is your birthday? Jamie?
Speaker 6 (07:39):
Actually two, the twenty first of this month.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Okay, we'll see you later. Okay, just get it.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Well, we had two callers yesterday, or four contests for
four total callers. Two callers were birthdays, so I'd say
the odds are two and four.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
There you go.
Speaker 9 (07:52):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Yeah, I admire Randy. He is a smart so.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Any yeah, he felt smart.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Waiting for waiting for it.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
All right, Jamie, Well, let's see if you can get
your birthday present two weeks early. All right, let's jump
on in here, buddy, give me three flavors of coke?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Ready?
Speaker 6 (08:11):
Go regular cove and then a cold period coke.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, all right, it's very good. Jamie. Give me three
televised sporting events, ready.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
Go, football, basketball, and baseball.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Randy thought for sure that would stump somebody.
Speaker 6 (08:28):
Well, there it is. I'm a little bit like Randy.
I'm not a big sports man at all.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
And then you just waited right through those, Buddy, We're
proud of you waiting waiting for an and it is here,
and Jamie.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
For the wind. Three ice cream toppings.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
Ready go, uh, sprinkle, peanut and touch.
Speaker 11 (08:49):
All right, that's yay, Randy, I thank you, and Jamie
get along.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
Yeah, Jimmy would I like cars a lot and don't
much for sports.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Car don't like sports.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
It's okay to be a guy and not like sports talk.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
As long as you like cars, that's right.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I got buddy likes horses and he and he doesn't
know a thing about sports any other sports at all. No, really, yeah,
I mean it is a lot of guys and more
and more that I get on Randy. You know you
get emails thisself. All the guys is just not that
interested in sporting activity.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Never have understood anybody wanting to sit in front of
a TV and watch other people do something.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Well, see now he's just talking crazy.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
Hey John, we'll get my move. The first time I
called in, I was like little Route on the Christmas
store House, too nervous to say anything, So holding.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
On you and Randy talks some on really dear Diary.
This is Gary beauty as the weirdest dream. The other night,
I was.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Duct taped to an ex ammination table while a bunch
of metal patients were mumbling gibberish into my ear.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
What y'all? Turns out it weren't no dream. I was
just listening to wordy word on the Big Show with
John Boy Billy. Someone needs to heard those losers into
the not okay corral.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the house number one exports.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Job on Beho, mad mash here, how's it going?
Speaker 5 (11:11):
They go wild?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yes, I'd say mad you.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Today, Skippy, I'm madded snot on a door knob. Wait,
that's how slick I am. Anyway. I just read what
might be the most brain damaged financial news story I've
ever seen in my life, And with some of the
crap been going on lately, that's saying something. This is
(11:35):
out of the Wall Street Journal. Bank of New York
Mellon Corporation has taken the extraordinary step of telling large
clients it will charge them to hold cash. The unusual
move means some US depositors will have to pay to
keep big chunks of money in the bank markin a
(11:57):
stark new phase of the long running glow financial crisis?
Did you catch that a bank is gonna start charging
people to putting money in it? The bank will begin
assessing the fee next week on customers that have been
flooding the bank with dollars. Oh, flooding the bank with dollars? Well,
(12:20):
I guess they had no choice, because the last thing
a bank expects is a bunch of dollars coming in
my big old broke buck. The bank said it can't
invest much of the new deposits because clients have the
ability to move the funds out at any moment. Well,
boo hooooo. Hey, you're a bank exactly Warren Buffet here.
(12:46):
But seems to me you want to have a plan
to deal with withdraw says here. The Bank of New
York specializes in handling funds for financial institutions and corporations.
Oh yeah, sounds like they kind of suck at it
to me. A blank spokesman said the vast majority of
(13:07):
clients will not be affected by the proposed fee, says
it only applies to major investors, their biggest customers, the
kind of people who tend to make deposit. If these
knobs can't figure out what they do when a guy
shows up the bank with the money, maybe they shouldn't
be in the banking business. Remember the good old days
(13:31):
you'd go to the bank to open an account. They
were tickled to death and give you a free toaster
of back rubbing, a calendar and Christmas time. Nowadays, the
guy says, I want a deposit ten million dollars. Girl
at the countar goes, oh great, that's all we need.
I mean, is it me? Am? I the only one
(13:52):
that Here's how anyoic can sound. We're pumping so much
money in the banks. They're a bounting to gold broke.
He geniuses didn't have trouble coming up in ways to
ride mortgages for a bunch of dumb goods. I ain't
got two Nichols to run together. I think that's how
all this great recession crap got started, ain't it? Maybe
(14:14):
y'aven putting the brain trust to work on how to
keep a bank from going out of business because somebody
makes it a positive shut down, shut up and quit
wearing my life, John Bournemill, y'all have a nice day,
John Boy and Billy. Tell Law you're great.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
Big one before moot.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Morning radio, dumb right, good morning, it's a big show
(15:04):
on the radio.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
It's time for dumb Crook news.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Tmcross, George Gleef news Babies and wire services across America.
Most of them sent it by you to be show
listener and the address we'll follow this report. A prisoner
walked away from a work release program in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania,
on July fourth, his Independence Days celebration into a short
time later when he checked into a nearby comfort inn.
(15:31):
When guests played with cash, they required to show photo identification. Well,
the man gave the desk clerk the only thing he had,
his prison ID card. Well, the clerk did a quick
crosscheck discovered her guest was the inmate who had walked
away from the halfway house. He was back there a
short time later. I guess Sir a policeman and Stuart
Florida who pulled over a twenty three year old man
(15:52):
for speeding, suspected the man who'd been drinking, and called
for a sheriff's deputy the helping perform a roadside sobriety test.
The driver to get out of the dui jars by
offering the cops a bribe, But not just any bribe,
A police spokesman says, the suspects tried to buy his
freedom by offering the cops a stack of discount coupons
from Dunkin Donuts, Blowing a superhuman display of willpower. The
(16:17):
officers managed to resist the offer and hauled the man
off to jail.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Good job guys.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
A petty thief spent the afternoon cruising the baggage claim
areas at London's Gatwick Airport in search of valuable luggage
to steal. He made possibly the worst possible choice by
stealing a bag that belonged to former world super middleweight
boxing champion Nigel Binn. The champ chased down the thief
and wrapped him in a firm headlock until police arrived.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
A police officer who stopped.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
A man in London for a minor traffic violation noticed
an accordion stash behind the driver's seat. When question, the
man told the officer he had been using the accordion
to perform on street corners for tips, but the cop
was a bit suspicious about the story since and still
had a price tag attached to it. But the officer
asked the driver to demonstrate his talent by playing a
few bars of Lady of Spain. Well, when the man
(17:09):
was unable to get anything even vaguely resembling music out
of the instrument, he was arrested for shoplifting. Geez, cop
ever pulled me when I had my trumpet in the river.
The mass man tried to rob a pharmacy in Marsville, Wisconsin,
using a classic finger as a gunploy and might have
worked better if it stuck the finger in his pocket
(17:29):
instead of simply pointing it at the man behind the counter.
So the cashier found himself staring down the barrel of
a bare finger. He said, you've got to be kidding,
then grabbed the man's finger and pulled his mask off.
Suspect who fled the scene was well known for several
previous attempts to forge prescriptions at the store, and he
(17:50):
was quickly tracked down by police.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Drop the finger and come out.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Three Canadian teenagers stole a boat from a dog in Bridgewater,
Nova Scotia, and took it for a joy ride. After
getting there Jolly's, the teens ran the boat of ground
and decided to set it on fire to destroy the evidence.
The trio apparently didn't know they had come ashore not
on the mainland, but on a small uninhabited island, and
that the only way back to civilation was there stolen boat,
(18:18):
which was by now completely engulfed in flames. Several hours later,
the teams were rescued, then arrested, and finally a shop
lifting hipster carefully removed the anti theft tags from a
dozen items of clothing at an Abercumbriy and Fitch store
in Tulsa, Oklahoma, then attempted a low key getaway that
(18:39):
would be thief was shocked when the store's alarm when
office he made his exit. At least after the man
pulled the tags off the clothing, he attempted to hide
them by sticking them in his pants pocket.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Good move, that's going there. Why on a you have
dumbcrut News.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Mail to dumb crut News, John Mooy Millet Fielbog's one
nine one one one Charlotte and see two eight two
one nine.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Man. Remember, criminals, it's time to turn, so you don't burn.
Speaker 12 (19:10):
I stand on a hill, but not for a thrill,
but for the breath of a fresh kill. And never
mind the man who contemplates doing away with license plates.
He stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent from
(19:32):
the heat of the laundra back.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Then leaving his soul.
Speaker 12 (19:38):
And then, like in poetry, I go dot dot dot, you.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Know, kind of horse center.
Speaker 9 (19:44):
Then I drop down, and then.
Speaker 12 (19:45):
I go leaving his soul, parting the waters. I've themadulla
ourve blocotta of mankind.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
If you're like that, job boy.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yeah, good morning to make shows on the radio. Come
(20:34):
in and let us look at your letters.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Oh, we get letters. We get your letters.
Speaker 13 (20:44):
Saturday n nail man, nails reach, try to bull what outlets.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I love those letters.
Speaker 11 (20:55):
But that's why I watch you got to say, Oh boy,
alrighty edgeule.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Some correspondence dumbos. Rain jokes today were not that good.
Brace yourself. Here are some of the ones. I grew
up with.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
It rained so much last night the creek got so
high you could see under it.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Now.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah now, rained so much last night, filled the truck
bed to the cab and the tailgate was down. Rained
so much last night. The frogs are screaming for sunshine.
Ranged so much yesterday. The ducks are wearing hip waiters.
If we go, if a wily POSTCRM Tech Incorporated, Environmental
Technologies International, Drive, Durham, North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
A note of some broch sures.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Hey, John Boy, heard you on the radio talking about
antler chandeliers. We'd love to help out with your wont list.
Custom Antler designs by Greg Kent, wilderness or arrangements and tyr.
I mean antlers, chandeliers, flooring table lamps, antler in coffee
(22:08):
and sofa tables, Antler chairs, mirrors and walls, cons's, antler
wine racks, utensils and candleholders, antler fireplace tool sculptures and
specialty items. Imagine the possibilities.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
You know what, Give me some. I bet they're real antlery.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Wilderness arrangements out of Columbus, Georgia.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
You were talking about anything fun, like you know Ferraris
or black Man.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
You take care of the little things, the big things
take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Isn't heat wonderful? There's antler Man.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Well, good morning, ey body, it's a big show on
the radio with this tuesdays you live the a that
is John Boycheviity time. By the way, Oliver, what you
want to send about fifteen minutes from then?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Alrighty?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
In thirteen forty seven, the Black Plague killed around twenty
five million people. Victims will develop round red rashes, high fevers,
and eventually death, often in their final hours of life.
Family members would place fresh flowers in the victims pockets.
The camouflage quote the aroma of death. But you already
(23:26):
knew all this because you sang this song as a kid.
What is ooh that smell? Can't you smell that smell?
The smell of death around a little bit earlier than
Skinnerd's covers, That's what I'll say. Well, y'all think one
eight hundred big show you tothy line across America will
star war calling nine go do we get a winter?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Let's do it? Good morning to make show us on.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
The radio moving around a bottom of the hour and it.
Speaker 7 (24:17):
Is time yes live, I've cross Holada heads st jump.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Forty and now your host who says for a death.
Speaker 7 (24:28):
Inspired kids song, You still can't beat the worms, crawl in,
the worms crawl out.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
He's John More, Hello the color nine. I'd be Vince
out of Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
How you doing, vincedy.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Good, Buddy good Well Vince thirteen forty seven. The Black
Plague killed around twenty five million people. Victims would have
been brown, red, rasius, high fevers, eventually death. Often in
the final hours of life. Family members would place fresh
flowers in the victims pockets, the camouflage the aroma of death.
But you already knew all this because you sing this
song as a kid.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
Ring around the Rosie.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Let's say, how about that, man?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Did you know that advance?
Speaker 5 (25:17):
Are?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Did you just figure it out?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Nah? I had read it in the trivia book years
and years ago.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
How about that it came in handy for you. Yeah, well,
let's thank you.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Randy has the words in it, so I'll play himsell
for Let's sing the almost singing the whole song for you.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
No, don't know the album version here later go off
there and get my music ready.
Speaker 13 (25:40):
Yeah, all right, Ring around down the rosees, pocket full
of posies, ashes, ashes all stand still, King.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And the King has said his adder to fetch up.
Bell of water.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Pashes, ashes all fall down.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
It's the bed nock.
Speaker 13 (26:12):
And bird upon the steeple, sits high above the people.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Ashes, ashes all kneel down.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
There you go, hat No Now, the wedding bells are ringing,
the boys and girls are singing.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Ashes, ashes all fall down.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Makes you long for the sweet release of death.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
The trap.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Hey, I haven't played down.
Speaker 7 (26:50):
Down and you can hear the long version on our
new album super Bad Sounds of the Thirteen Others.
Speaker 14 (26:58):
No greetings, All this is Big Show Legal counsel al
oficious Pete Bagel Hold, of the Buford Bagel Hold. Some
other shows have accused John Boy and Billy of creating
a morning radio monopoly, that it's profoundly illegal.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
All that's hog wash.
Speaker 15 (27:19):
It's all perfectly legal, just like The Big Show with
John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
The Morning The Big Shows on your radio Tuesday morning,
July the eighth. TV executive Rune Arliss created ABC's White
Worldless Sports, spanning the glow to bring here, the thrill
in victory, and the agony of defeat.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
As premiere nineteen sixty one.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
This area's exposed viewers to a previously neglected game and
games including gymnastics and figure skating.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
Now watch this guy follow up the ski sluff team.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
There.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Show's key hosts were Jim McKay, Hoighward, Coast Sun.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Frank Gifford, Al Michael and Heywood Hell Brun Brune whatever.
Wide World Sports wasn't an immediate hit, but it soon
caught on and changed away television covered sporting events, but
they might be running out of ideas.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Now, let's listen to a recent promo.
Speaker 8 (28:56):
This weekend on ABC's Wide World of Sports, a special
event that mark the first in our history. Live from
Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Jim McKay brings you two
white guys boxing. It's an ABC exclusive, two white guys boxing.
Then it's left to South Africa to see five white
guys playing basketball. Yes, you can count on ABC's Wide
World of Sports to bring you the sports that don't
(29:17):
interest any other network.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I tell you it's gonna work out shop and see.
I'm rhode O. Let's see running the Clowe. You dirty
your rack. I can't do it.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Judy, Judy, Judy, Good morning, A big show is on
(30:00):
the radio. It's time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Well Well Well the following is for men only. So ladies,
we'll give you a chance to leave the room there
now that those cows are gone, gather around boys. There's
(30:28):
five questions that a man doesn't ever want to hear
from a woman. One what are you thinking about?
Speaker 5 (30:38):
Two?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Do you love me?
Speaker 9 (30:44):
Three?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Do I look fat?
Speaker 5 (30:49):
Four?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Do you think she's prettier than me?
Speaker 10 (30:55):
And?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Five what would you do if I die?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
What makes these questions so unpleasant is that each one
is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the
man answers incorrectly, otherwise known as telling the truth. Therefore,
as a public service, let's examine each question and provide
(31:22):
some help in giving the correct responses.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Number one, what are you thinking about? The proper answer
to this.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Of course, is why I was just reflecting on what
a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are and
how lucky I am to have you. The true answer
to what are you thinking about? Is probably one of
the following baseball, football, How fat you are that little
(31:59):
blonde in the tube top over there? How glad I
am you're not wearing a tube top. Perhaps the truest
response to this question was offered by al Bundy, who
once told peg if I wanted you to know what
I was thinking, I'd be.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Talking to you.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Question number two, do you love me? The proper response
is yes, or if your butter's in a spling, in
a sling for that moment, a detailed answer is in
order with yes, dear, yes kitten, or yes, snooky wookie wookers.
(32:42):
Inappropriate responses include oh, yeah, a whole butt load. Would
it make you feel better if I said yes? That
depends on what you mean by love at this point,
does it really matter? Question number three? Do I look fat?
(33:09):
The correct answer is, of course not. Among the inappropriate
answers are compared to what I wouldn't call you fat,
but you're not exactly thin, A little extra weight looks
(33:30):
good on you, or my favorite, I've seen fatter? Question
number four, do you think she's prettier than me? Once again,
the proper response is an emphatic of course not. Inappropriate
(33:56):
responses include yes, but you have a better personality. She's
not prettier, but she's a whole lot thinner. You were
as pretty as her when you were her age, Ah,
(34:16):
define pretty? Question number five, what would you do if
I died? This is especially dangerous since it's usually asked
about thirty seconds after you turn out the lights to
go to sleep. Your best bet is to pretend you're
(34:36):
already in a deep slumber and didn't.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Hear the question.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
If you're forced to answer, you something like now, honey,
don't even talk that way, or my favorite, why I'd
probably die too of a broken heart. You'll want to
avoid things like what would I do? Probably the freaking
(35:02):
WATOUSI before or after I bought the new boat in
the Corvette? Yeah, like I'd ever get that luck, I'd
finally nail your buddy Susan Mark my weds Gentlemen, Sooner
(35:27):
or later these questions will come up, and, as the
boy Scouts say, be pre pay. This has been a
public affairs presentation of the John Boy and Billy Big Show,
helping regular guys cover their butt since nineteen eighty.
Speaker 16 (35:55):
This is Sower beat Jones the World, both political, rockler
and if you don't want our last night now going dumping,
you'll keep that dial too to the Big Show with
party about that half pot, tell him about it.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Twenty If you changed the channel, I'm gonna come to
your house and wash my song in your scene.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
You heard her right here on the big show.
Speaker 5 (36:45):
In the morning.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
A big show.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
It's a radio because after the hour those you've been
on the edge of your seats all day. Yes, I
didn't give up my cell phone to Randy who got
my numbers programmed?
Speaker 4 (36:57):
Didn't it read of the cell phone store and had
them program it because you wanted me to program him in.
And it takes like three hours to put the hundreds
of phone numbers that you never used.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
And I don't tell her how many calls I missed.
You leave my phone on?
Speaker 4 (37:11):
Yes, I left your phone on as instructed. You missed
a total of three calls. All right, Well, I was
careful to write down each of the calls. Came in
first from Eddie, all right, are you napping yet?
Speaker 5 (37:27):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
All right. Officer Thinky called.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
He said, thanks for saying on the air that you
did not blow up any quote confiscated fireworks while at
the beach. And by the way, meet him at the
police pistol range Friday night. He's got some more. And
the final call came in just before lunchtime. Henry Oboil,
your buddy. Henry wants to know did you try to
(37:50):
call him, because he's been sitting by the phone and
it hasn't rung yet. I told him now, by the
way from astro nerd, do you think mader Man is
prettier than me? Those are the important calls that you missed.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Well, I noticed that I have a message on my
answer machine, so I guess I better check that right now.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Huh, Jackie, got it up?
Speaker 17 (38:16):
Johnny. Uh, this is David. I'm sitting here. Listen to
this guy cal Morgan on the buzz who is whatever
he is? And he is landing on Kyle Eddy hard
heavy about Uh, you know what I'm saying, Jack whatever?
Speaker 5 (38:34):
Jack is?
Speaker 17 (38:34):
Jack though, you know whatever. But he's just a Yankee.
Am small time this jock?
Speaker 5 (38:42):
Is it?
Speaker 10 (38:43):
You know?
Speaker 5 (38:45):
I mean? Who is he?
Speaker 17 (38:46):
He's an idiot? The rail on him Railroad called me by.
He has just irritated me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
By good morning. It's a big show in the radio.
But it's Tuesday's julye the eighth. You realized it was
this date In nineteen thirty two, the low point and
the Great Depression came and the Dow Jones industrial average
(39:16):
bottomed out at forty one twenty two.
Speaker 9 (39:20):
Let's look at the.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Current event for their current events quiz What are we
dealing with?
Speaker 9 (39:24):
BILLIEZ?
Speaker 3 (39:25):
We got the results of a new British poll that
confirm a world famous stereotype, a world famous stereotype. Yes, okay,
how are you eating something?
Speaker 5 (39:34):
Why so?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
One eight hundred big show. You told Free Line we'll
take calling nine You should win next
Good barning Big Show listeners. This is the Honorable Mayor
Merwin H. Fiddle swap Uh. I'm missinggan oh fiddle swoop.
It's a beautiful day in dismal Seepach, South Carolina, and
it's even better when we're listening to the John Boy
and Billy Big soal a mister n H Big Show.
But that reminds me come on down for the forty
(00:21):
second annual dismal Seepach Big Sal Festival.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yeah that one spelled correctly.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Good morning, Big Show is on your radio Tuesday morning,
July the eighth John Mobile, Rene Pillars some studio right now.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Things and your maters are up on the website the
Big Show Dot.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, well blam, let's look at them. Will you go
out and look on the plant?
Speaker 5 (01:14):
I know, I want to.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
See what they look like on the webs, dupid. I
know what they look like in person. I just want
to make sure they were captured. I know what they
look like in person. I want to see a picture of.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
The box turtle threes all over it.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
That's wold man, y'all gonna see this. This turtle is
just threes all over it all right. So then now
you click on we got majors.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
All right, And there's Johnny's maters, there's me. I'm frond
of the major plant.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
And if you click on the picture of you with
your majors, should get a little movie of you talking
about it.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Really, that's it. I know.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
There's your sign, the sign that's bilingual. Uh, there's you
grinning with your tomatoes.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
That was my first major. Yes, it wasn't as big.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
And for those of you without access to the internet, yes,
we're serious.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
I can't believe Mom was asking me if my major
place right outside the door.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yes, Mama, stupid ho Wait you did not, old man? Yeah, ol, buddy,
it's over.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
See they looked better in person. Say, I knew Jay
couldn't capture it right on field.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I don't have to go. I don't have to go
work with that boy.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Jay's busy taking pictures of restaurants sign. He's like a
chimp with a new toy. He's have to take pictures
of everything.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
He finally showed me something yesterday, some other picture that
he took off the back patio of his house or something.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
He just laid it in front of him.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Went huh, and I went your borderline astronis well.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Jay got a new digital camera and it's like a
film too.
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Big show cameraman Jay Nutley.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
All right, y'all, let's say tizy'd you like, we'll give
your legs up? First game gonna be outbirds. Yeah, Hey,
I'll give your legs up and play in minutes. That
morning is a big Jon the radio, Tuesday morning, julye
the eighth of y'all doing it. Here you go, listen
for your legs up. Is where we're getting our categories
with out birds getting ready to play. Anything about picking
up the phone, give us a call, listen up, thinking
(03:18):
along with us, see what we might use as a
category based on this date in history. Like TV executive
Rune Arledge, he created ABC's Wide World of Sports, which
premiered in nineteen sixty one. The series exposed viewers of
previously neglected games, including gymnastics and figure skating. Woo part
of the show's opening narration This.
Speaker 8 (03:39):
Weekend on ABC's Wide World of Sports, a special event
that marks the first of our history. Live from Caesar's
Palace in Las Vegas, Jim McKay brings you two white
guys boxing. It's an ABC exclusive. Two white guys boxing.
Then it's left to South Africa to see five white
guys playing basketball. Yes, you can count on ABC's Wide
World of Sports to bring the sports that don't interest
(04:01):
any other network.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Of course, the opening spanning the globe to bring in
the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, falling slope.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Here's a white guy finally, Actually that was a black guy.
And then we'll go to NBA All Stars take Home
World Cup. Yachtie. I don't know if you'll quit playing
(04:39):
that music. I'll just go through the agent. What do
you have your hand on my thing? I can't stop.
Excuse me? Wow, now there's something you don't offer seeing
you guys are supposed to do that in the Hoddels.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Anyway show's key host Jim McKay, Howard Cosel, Frank Gifford,
Alm and Heywood Hall brun Bruin whatever. Wide World Sports
wasn't an immediate hit, however, but it's soon caught on
and changed the away television.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Coverage sporting events.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Harlist died December fifth, two thousand and two, complications prostate shirt.
On this day in eighteen eighty one, Edward Berner of
Two Rivers Wisconsin served the world's first ice cream Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
He offered his Sunday concoction only on Sundays.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
One of the fellers from markets.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
And finally Coca Cola inventor John Pemberton would have been
one hundred and seventy two today.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Billy's hero. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
Yo, there go, we'll get that category's most states in history.
You want to play Dial one eight hundred big show,
Well that Colin nine.
Speaker 9 (05:47):
We'll do it next.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Good morning, a big shows on your radio. Moved around
about twenty hour. Come on, first game.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
In the morning.
Speaker 10 (06:18):
Always playing up Let's play Upburst. It's the game that
anyone can win, John Boy and Bully. We give the
prizes from the big Prize being. Let's go make contested
number one. This should really be a lot of fun
to win. You're playing Upburst. Have a hurry up and
(06:41):
guest time. You have the best time. You have a
big shots.
Speaker 11 (06:48):
First listener line, have a big show, Jamie, have a dog,
George Shots, Hey, Jamy.
Speaker 6 (07:02):
John Bow, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Bady? That man? What's going on with you?
Speaker 6 (07:05):
I'm just sitting here trying to get though. I noticed
the lady yesterday got doing her birthday, and I noticed
a lot of people get doing her birthday?
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Is it your birthday?
Speaker 5 (07:14):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Well, just that just amused you for some reason.
Speaker 6 (07:20):
Well, yeah I did. I thought it was funny everything
we had.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
We had two people to soon ladies.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
The first one out birst yesterday, that's right, and then
the last stupid quiz.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
Well Randy. You know, Randy don't have much to do.
Maybe he can sit down and figure that out and
see what the odds are.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Realie, how about figuring that out? I'm getting up with Jamie. So, Jamie,
when is your birthday? Jamie?
Speaker 6 (07:39):
Actually two, the twenty first of this month.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Okay, we'll see you later. Okay, just get it.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Well, we had two callers yesterday, or four contests for
four total callers. Two callers were birthdays, so I'd say
the odds are two and four.
Speaker 6 (07:51):
There you go.
Speaker 9 (07:52):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Yeah, I admire Randy. He is a smart so.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Any yeah, he felt smart.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Waiting for waiting for it.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
All right, Jamie, Well, let's see if you can get
your birthday present two weeks early. All right, let's jump
on in here, buddy, give me three flavors of coke?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Ready?
Speaker 6 (08:11):
Go regular cove and then a cold period coke.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Yeah, all right, it's very good. Jamie. Give me three
televised sporting events, ready.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
Go, football, basketball, and baseball.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Randy thought for sure that would stump somebody.
Speaker 6 (08:28):
Well, there it is. I'm a little bit like Randy.
I'm not a big sports man at all.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
And then you just waited right through those, Buddy, We're
proud of you waiting waiting for an and it is here,
and Jamie.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
For the wind. Three ice cream toppings.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
Ready go, uh, sprinkle, peanut and touch.
Speaker 11 (08:49):
All right, that's yay, Randy, I thank you, and Jamie
get along.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
Yeah, Jimmy would I like cars a lot and don't
much for sports.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Car don't like sports.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
It's okay to be a guy and not like sports talk.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
As long as you like cars, that's right.
Speaker 3 (09:14):
I got buddy likes horses and he and he doesn't
know a thing about sports any other sports at all. No, really, yeah,
I mean it is a lot of guys and more
and more that I get on Randy. You know you
get emails thisself. All the guys is just not that
interested in sporting activity.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
Never have understood anybody wanting to sit in front of
a TV and watch other people do something.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Well, see now he's just talking crazy.
Speaker 6 (09:35):
Hey John, we'll get my move. The first time I
called in, I was like little Route on the Christmas
store House, too nervous to say anything, So holding.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
On you and Randy talks some on really dear Diary.
This is Gary beauty as the weirdest dream. The other night,
I was.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Duct taped to an ex ammination table while a bunch
of metal patients were mumbling gibberish into my ear.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
What y'all? Turns out it weren't no dream. I was
just listening to wordy word on the Big Show with
John Boy Billy. Someone needs to heard those losers into
the not okay corral.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the house number one exports.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Job on Beho, mad mash here, how's it going?
Speaker 5 (11:11):
They go wild?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yes, I'd say mad you.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Today, Skippy, I'm madded snot on a door knob. Wait,
that's how slick I am. Anyway. I just read what
might be the most brain damaged financial news story I've
ever seen in my life, And with some of the
crap been going on lately, that's saying something. This is
(11:35):
out of the Wall Street Journal. Bank of New York
Mellon Corporation has taken the extraordinary step of telling large
clients it will charge them to hold cash. The unusual
move means some US depositors will have to pay to
keep big chunks of money in the bank markin a
(11:57):
stark new phase of the long running glow financial crisis?
Did you catch that a bank is gonna start charging
people to putting money in it? The bank will begin
assessing the fee next week on customers that have been
flooding the bank with dollars. Oh, flooding the bank with dollars? Well,
(12:20):
I guess they had no choice, because the last thing
a bank expects is a bunch of dollars coming in
my big old broke buck. The bank said it can't
invest much of the new deposits because clients have the
ability to move the funds out at any moment. Well,
boo hooooo. Hey, you're a bank exactly Warren Buffet here.
(12:46):
But seems to me you want to have a plan
to deal with withdraw says here. The Bank of New
York specializes in handling funds for financial institutions and corporations.
Oh yeah, sounds like they kind of suck at it
to me. A blank spokesman said the vast majority of
(13:07):
clients will not be affected by the proposed fee, says
it only applies to major investors, their biggest customers, the
kind of people who tend to make deposit. If these
knobs can't figure out what they do when a guy
shows up the bank with the money, maybe they shouldn't
be in the banking business. Remember the good old days
(13:31):
you'd go to the bank to open an account. They
were tickled to death and give you a free toaster
of back rubbing, a calendar and Christmas time. Nowadays, the
guy says, I want a deposit ten million dollars. Girl
at the countar goes, oh great, that's all we need.
I mean, is it me? Am? I the only one
(13:52):
that Here's how anyoic can sound. We're pumping so much
money in the banks. They're a bounting to gold broke.
He geniuses didn't have trouble coming up in ways to
ride mortgages for a bunch of dumb goods. I ain't
got two Nichols to run together. I think that's how
all this great recession crap got started, ain't it? Maybe
(14:14):
y'aven putting the brain trust to work on how to
keep a bank from going out of business because somebody
makes it a positive shut down, shut up and quit
wearing my life, John Bournemill, y'all have a nice day,
John Boy and Billy. Tell Law you're great.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
Big one before moot.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
Morning radio, dumb right, good morning, it's a big show
(15:04):
on the radio.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
It's time for dumb Crook news.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Tmcross, George Gleef news Babies and wire services across America.
Most of them sent it by you to be show
listener and the address we'll follow this report. A prisoner
walked away from a work release program in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania,
on July fourth, his Independence Days celebration into a short
time later when he checked into a nearby comfort inn.
(15:31):
When guests played with cash, they required to show photo identification. Well,
the man gave the desk clerk the only thing he had,
his prison ID card. Well, the clerk did a quick
crosscheck discovered her guest was the inmate who had walked
away from the halfway house. He was back there a
short time later. I guess Sir a policeman and Stuart
Florida who pulled over a twenty three year old man
(15:52):
for speeding, suspected the man who'd been drinking, and called
for a sheriff's deputy the helping perform a roadside sobriety test.
The driver to get out of the dui jars by
offering the cops a bribe, But not just any bribe,
A police spokesman says, the suspects tried to buy his
freedom by offering the cops a stack of discount coupons
from Dunkin Donuts, Blowing a superhuman display of willpower. The
(16:17):
officers managed to resist the offer and hauled the man
off to jail.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Good job guys.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
A petty thief spent the afternoon cruising the baggage claim
areas at London's Gatwick Airport in search of valuable luggage
to steal. He made possibly the worst possible choice by
stealing a bag that belonged to former world super middleweight
boxing champion Nigel Binn. The champ chased down the thief
and wrapped him in a firm headlock until police arrived.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
A police officer who stopped.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
A man in London for a minor traffic violation noticed
an accordion stash behind the driver's seat. When question, the
man told the officer he had been using the accordion
to perform on street corners for tips, but the cop
was a bit suspicious about the story since and still
had a price tag attached to it. But the officer
asked the driver to demonstrate his talent by playing a
few bars of Lady of Spain. Well, when the man
(17:09):
was unable to get anything even vaguely resembling music out
of the instrument, he was arrested for shoplifting. Geez, cop
ever pulled me when I had my trumpet in the river.
The mass man tried to rob a pharmacy in Marsville, Wisconsin,
using a classic finger as a gunploy and might have
worked better if it stuck the finger in his pocket
(17:29):
instead of simply pointing it at the man behind the counter.
So the cashier found himself staring down the barrel of
a bare finger. He said, you've got to be kidding,
then grabbed the man's finger and pulled his mask off.
Suspect who fled the scene was well known for several
previous attempts to forge prescriptions at the store, and he
(17:50):
was quickly tracked down by police.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Drop the finger and come out.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Three Canadian teenagers stole a boat from a dog in Bridgewater,
Nova Scotia, and took it for a joy ride. After
getting there Jolly's, the teens ran the boat of ground
and decided to set it on fire to destroy the evidence.
The trio apparently didn't know they had come ashore not
on the mainland, but on a small uninhabited island, and
that the only way back to civilation was there stolen boat,
(18:18):
which was by now completely engulfed in flames. Several hours later,
the teams were rescued, then arrested, and finally a shop
lifting hipster carefully removed the anti theft tags from a
dozen items of clothing at an Abercumbriy and Fitch store
in Tulsa, Oklahoma, then attempted a low key getaway that
(18:39):
would be thief was shocked when the store's alarm when
office he made his exit. At least after the man
pulled the tags off the clothing, he attempted to hide
them by sticking them in his pants pocket.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Good move, that's going there. Why on a you have
dumbcrut News.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Mail to dumb crut News, John Mooy Millet Fielbog's one
nine one one one Charlotte and see two eight two
one nine.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Man. Remember, criminals, it's time to turn, so you don't burn.
Speaker 12 (19:10):
I stand on a hill, but not for a thrill,
but for the breath of a fresh kill. And never
mind the man who contemplates doing away with license plates.
He stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent from
(19:32):
the heat of the laundra back.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Then leaving his soul.
Speaker 12 (19:38):
And then, like in poetry, I go dot dot dot, you.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Know, kind of horse center.
Speaker 9 (19:44):
Then I drop down, and then.
Speaker 12 (19:45):
I go leaving his soul, parting the waters. I've themadulla
ourve blocotta of mankind.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
If you're like that, job boy.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yeah, good morning to make shows on the radio. Come
(20:34):
in and let us look at your letters.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Oh, we get letters. We get your letters.
Speaker 13 (20:44):
Saturday n nail man, nails reach, try to bull what outlets.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I love those letters.
Speaker 11 (20:55):
But that's why I watch you got to say, Oh boy,
alrighty edgeule.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Some correspondence dumbos. Rain jokes today were not that good.
Brace yourself. Here are some of the ones. I grew
up with.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
It rained so much last night the creek got so
high you could see under it.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Now.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Yeah now, rained so much last night, filled the truck
bed to the cab and the tailgate was down. Rained
so much last night. The frogs are screaming for sunshine.
Ranged so much yesterday. The ducks are wearing hip waiters.
If we go, if a wily POSTCRM Tech Incorporated, Environmental
Technologies International, Drive, Durham, North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
A note of some broch sures.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Hey, John Boy, heard you on the radio talking about
antler chandeliers. We'd love to help out with your wont list.
Custom Antler designs by Greg Kent, wilderness or arrangements and tyr.
I mean antlers, chandeliers, flooring table lamps, antler in coffee
(22:08):
and sofa tables, Antler chairs, mirrors and walls, cons's, antler
wine racks, utensils and candleholders, antler fireplace tool sculptures and
specialty items. Imagine the possibilities.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
You know what, Give me some. I bet they're real antlery.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Wilderness arrangements out of Columbus, Georgia.
Speaker 7 (22:28):
You were talking about anything fun, like you know Ferraris
or black Man.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
You take care of the little things, the big things
take care of themselves.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Isn't heat wonderful? There's antler Man.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
Well, good morning, ey body, it's a big show on
the radio with this tuesdays you live the a that
is John Boycheviity time. By the way, Oliver, what you
want to send about fifteen minutes from then?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Alrighty?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
In thirteen forty seven, the Black Plague killed around twenty
five million people. Victims will develop round red rashes, high fevers,
and eventually death, often in their final hours of life.
Family members would place fresh flowers in the victims pockets.
The camouflage quote the aroma of death. But you already
(23:26):
knew all this because you sang this song as a kid.
What is ooh that smell? Can't you smell that smell?
The smell of death around a little bit earlier than
Skinnerd's covers, That's what I'll say. Well, y'all think one
eight hundred big show you tothy line across America will
star war calling nine go do we get a winter?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Let's do it? Good morning to make show us on.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
The radio moving around a bottom of the hour and it.
Speaker 7 (24:17):
Is time yes live, I've cross Holada heads st jump.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Forty and now your host who says for a death.
Speaker 7 (24:28):
Inspired kids song, You still can't beat the worms, crawl in,
the worms crawl out.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
He's John More, Hello the color nine. I'd be Vince
out of Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
How you doing, vincedy.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Good, Buddy good Well Vince thirteen forty seven. The Black
Plague killed around twenty five million people. Victims would have
been brown, red, rasius, high fevers, eventually death. Often in
the final hours of life. Family members would place fresh
flowers in the victims pockets, the camouflage the aroma of death.
But you already knew all this because you sing this
song as a kid.
Speaker 5 (25:05):
Ring around the Rosie.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
Let's say, how about that, man?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Did you know that advance?
Speaker 5 (25:17):
Are?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Did you just figure it out?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Nah? I had read it in the trivia book years
and years ago.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
How about that it came in handy for you. Yeah, well,
let's thank you.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Randy has the words in it, so I'll play himsell
for Let's sing the almost singing the whole song for you.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
No, don't know the album version here later go off
there and get my music ready.
Speaker 13 (25:40):
Yeah, all right, Ring around down the rosees, pocket full
of posies, ashes, ashes all stand still, King.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
And the King has said his adder to fetch up.
Bell of water.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Pashes, ashes all fall down.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
It's the bed nock.
Speaker 13 (26:12):
And bird upon the steeple, sits high above the people.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Ashes, ashes all kneel down.
Speaker 4 (26:24):
There you go, hat No Now, the wedding bells are ringing,
the boys and girls are singing.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
Ashes, ashes all fall down.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Makes you long for the sweet release of death.
Speaker 5 (26:46):
The trap.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Hey, I haven't played down.
Speaker 7 (26:50):
Down and you can hear the long version on our
new album super Bad Sounds of the Thirteen Others.
Speaker 14 (26:58):
No greetings, All this is Big Show Legal counsel al
oficious Pete Bagel Hold, of the Buford Bagel Hold. Some
other shows have accused John Boy and Billy of creating
a morning radio monopoly, that it's profoundly illegal.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
All that's hog wash.
Speaker 15 (27:19):
It's all perfectly legal, just like The Big Show with
John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
The Morning The Big Shows on your radio Tuesday morning,
July the eighth. TV executive Rune Arliss created ABC's White
Worldless Sports, spanning the glow to bring here, the thrill
in victory, and the agony of defeat.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
As premiere nineteen sixty one.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
This area's exposed viewers to a previously neglected game and
games including gymnastics and figure skating.
Speaker 7 (28:29):
Now watch this guy follow up the ski sluff team.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
There.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Show's key hosts were Jim McKay, Hoighward, Coast Sun.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Frank Gifford, Al Michael and Heywood Hell Brun Brune whatever.
Wide World Sports wasn't an immediate hit, but it soon
caught on and changed away television covered sporting events, but
they might be running out of ideas.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Now, let's listen to a recent promo.
Speaker 8 (28:56):
This weekend on ABC's Wide World of Sports, a special
event that mark the first in our history. Live from
Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Jim McKay brings you two
white guys boxing. It's an ABC exclusive, two white guys boxing.
Then it's left to South Africa to see five white
guys playing basketball. Yes, you can count on ABC's Wide
World of Sports to bring you the sports that don't
(29:17):
interest any other network.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I tell you it's gonna work out shop and see.
I'm rhode O. Let's see running the Clowe. You dirty
your rack. I can't do it.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Judy, Judy, Judy, Good morning, A big show is on
(30:00):
the radio. It's time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Well Well Well the following is for men only. So ladies,
we'll give you a chance to leave the room there
now that those cows are gone, gather around boys. There's
(30:28):
five questions that a man doesn't ever want to hear
from a woman. One what are you thinking about?
Speaker 5 (30:38):
Two?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Do you love me?
Speaker 9 (30:44):
Three?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Do I look fat?
Speaker 5 (30:49):
Four?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Do you think she's prettier than me?
Speaker 10 (30:55):
And?
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Five what would you do if I die?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
What makes these questions so unpleasant is that each one
is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the
man answers incorrectly, otherwise known as telling the truth. Therefore,
as a public service, let's examine each question and provide
(31:22):
some help in giving the correct responses.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Number one, what are you thinking about? The proper answer
to this.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Of course, is why I was just reflecting on what
a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are and
how lucky I am to have you. The true answer
to what are you thinking about? Is probably one of
the following baseball, football, How fat you are that little
(31:59):
blonde in the tube top over there? How glad I
am you're not wearing a tube top. Perhaps the truest
response to this question was offered by al Bundy, who
once told peg if I wanted you to know what
I was thinking, I'd be.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
Talking to you.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Question number two, do you love me? The proper response
is yes, or if your butter's in a spling, in
a sling for that moment, a detailed answer is in
order with yes, dear, yes kitten, or yes, snooky wookie wookers.
(32:42):
Inappropriate responses include oh, yeah, a whole butt load. Would
it make you feel better if I said yes? That
depends on what you mean by love at this point,
does it really matter? Question number three? Do I look fat?
(33:09):
The correct answer is, of course not. Among the inappropriate
answers are compared to what I wouldn't call you fat,
but you're not exactly thin, A little extra weight looks
(33:30):
good on you, or my favorite, I've seen fatter? Question
number four, do you think she's prettier than me? Once again,
the proper response is an emphatic of course not. Inappropriate
(33:56):
responses include yes, but you have a better personality. She's
not prettier, but she's a whole lot thinner. You were
as pretty as her when you were her age, Ah,
(34:16):
define pretty? Question number five, what would you do if
I died? This is especially dangerous since it's usually asked
about thirty seconds after you turn out the lights to
go to sleep. Your best bet is to pretend you're
(34:36):
already in a deep slumber and didn't.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Hear the question.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
If you're forced to answer, you something like now, honey,
don't even talk that way, or my favorite, why I'd
probably die too of a broken heart. You'll want to
avoid things like what would I do? Probably the freaking
(35:02):
WATOUSI before or after I bought the new boat in
the Corvette? Yeah, like I'd ever get that luck, I'd
finally nail your buddy Susan Mark my weds Gentlemen, Sooner
(35:27):
or later these questions will come up, and, as the
boy Scouts say, be pre pay. This has been a
public affairs presentation of the John Boy and Billy Big Show,
helping regular guys cover their butt since nineteen eighty.
Speaker 16 (35:55):
This is Sower beat Jones the World, both political, rockler
and if you don't want our last night now going dumping,
you'll keep that dial too to the Big Show with
party about that half pot, tell him about it.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Twenty If you changed the channel, I'm gonna come to
your house and wash my song in your scene.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
You heard her right here on the big show.
Speaker 5 (36:45):
In the morning.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
A big show.
Speaker 3 (36:47):
It's a radio because after the hour those you've been
on the edge of your seats all day. Yes, I
didn't give up my cell phone to Randy who got
my numbers programmed?
Speaker 4 (36:57):
Didn't it read of the cell phone store and had
them program it because you wanted me to program him in.
And it takes like three hours to put the hundreds
of phone numbers that you never used.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
And I don't tell her how many calls I missed.
You leave my phone on?
Speaker 4 (37:11):
Yes, I left your phone on as instructed. You missed
a total of three calls. All right, Well, I was
careful to write down each of the calls. Came in
first from Eddie, all right, are you napping yet?
Speaker 5 (37:27):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
All right. Officer Thinky called.
Speaker 4 (37:30):
He said, thanks for saying on the air that you
did not blow up any quote confiscated fireworks while at
the beach. And by the way, meet him at the
police pistol range Friday night. He's got some more. And
the final call came in just before lunchtime. Henry Oboil,
your buddy. Henry wants to know did you try to
(37:50):
call him, because he's been sitting by the phone and
it hasn't rung yet. I told him now, by the
way from astro nerd, do you think mader Man is
prettier than me? Those are the important calls that you missed.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Well, I noticed that I have a message on my
answer machine, so I guess I better check that right now.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Huh, Jackie, got it up?
Speaker 17 (38:16):
Johnny. Uh, this is David. I'm sitting here. Listen to
this guy cal Morgan on the buzz who is whatever
he is? And he is landing on Kyle Eddy hard
heavy about Uh, you know what I'm saying, Jack whatever?
Speaker 5 (38:34):
Jack is?
Speaker 17 (38:34):
Jack though, you know whatever. But he's just a Yankee.
Am small time this jock?
Speaker 5 (38:42):
Is it?
Speaker 10 (38:43):
You know?
Speaker 5 (38:45):
I mean? Who is he?
Speaker 17 (38:46):
He's an idiot? The rail on him Railroad called me by.
He has just irritated me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
By good morning. It's a big show in the radio.
But it's Tuesday's julye the eighth. You realized it was
this date In nineteen thirty two, the low point and
the Great Depression came and the Dow Jones industrial average
(39:16):
bottomed out at forty one twenty two.
Speaker 9 (39:20):
Let's look at the.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
Current event for their current events quiz What are we
dealing with?
Speaker 9 (39:24):
BILLIEZ?
Speaker 3 (39:25):
We got the results of a new British poll that
confirm a world famous stereotype, a world famous stereotype. Yes, okay,
how are you eating something?
Speaker 5 (39:34):
Why so?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
One eight hundred big show. You told Free Line we'll
take calling nine You should win next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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