July 9, 2024 • 34 mins
Tuesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we have more proof that there are too many lawyers these days - with a list of actual warnings found on products.. - John Boy recalls Hannah Storm’s time with our show and how her feet go all the way to the floor.. - John Boy gives some spray tan beauty tips.. - Comedian Brad Stein tells us why he loves the South and hates PETA.. - Randy has some trouble fixing the burglar alarm at John Boy Manor.. - We found the tapes from Colonel Sanders last recording session.. - and Mr. Rhubarb steps on a duck..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dear Diary, this is GARYU se I as the weirdest dream.
The other night, I was duct taped to an examination
table while a bunch of metal patients were mumbling gibberish
into my ear.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Y y y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Turns out it weren't no dream. I was just listening
to wordy word on the Big Show with John Boy
and Milly. Someone needs to heard those losers into the
not okay corral.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
H h, Good morning the Big Shows on the radio.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
How y'all doing Tuesday, July nine, Let's welcome a very
special guest. Hello, who's this on the Wolfman's telephone?
Speaker 5 (01:17):
How cool?
Speaker 6 (01:17):
Was that?
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Just kidding you?
Speaker 7 (01:19):
Remember when you said, let you know when you're starting
to creep us out?
Speaker 8 (01:23):
Yeah, I changed my mind.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
I actually thought that was kind of cool. Hey, turn
your radio up, man.
Speaker 8 (01:29):
No, Billy con I don't live for your amusement.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
Oh, he's sick of it. In the light of your life.
Speaker 7 (01:36):
For those of you who were in the pool, that
was fourteen seconds, fourteen seconds before John Boy turned on
one of the cast members as indeed.
Speaker 8 (01:45):
I'll just out you with my friendly commuter side. Hello,
get out of my way? Okay? No, ho hell look,
another friendly Chevrolet truck in front of me. Hi, Hey,
remember that Stevie Wonder song when uh could we couldn't
understand what he said, but he says Chevrolet devil, Cheveley, Cheveley.
(02:05):
You know what he's saying.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
No, I don't have any thanks for laying down on him.
And that's Stevie Webber.
Speaker 8 (02:13):
You're laying down on that improv bit on the way
in the work.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I say, it's always one person doesn't and all of
a sudden it's y'all. It's like everybody in the room
has turned.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Why is that I.
Speaker 8 (02:22):
Don't understand the bility.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
When when this is the only reason he's late is
because he wants to do this.
Speaker 8 (02:33):
Oh my little Mexican friends, get over there in front
of me. I'm not in a hurry. You've got twelve
hours of daylight. Twitter, Twitter, Twitter.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
I think I think I need to go lay down
for what you got?
Speaker 8 (02:55):
Hey, the girls boobies ever get sore? Well, what I'm
probably probably not?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Jackie?
Speaker 8 (03:02):
You know. I mean like, uh, like we used to
play basketball. We had those uh course jerseys, and I
used to have to put band aids. It's this a
little really, I don't know why I'm telling you this.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I shudder to ask why this came up.
Speaker 8 (03:15):
Yeah, I was exercising yesterday and I had a coarse
shirt on. And you know what, we'll maybe could react
to this like when you're rafting in the ocean, you know,
and sometimes you rub your you rub your boobies summer.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
Marcy.
Speaker 9 (03:30):
Uh.
Speaker 8 (03:30):
Anyway, I'm just a little uncomfortable. I thought you all
might care, but I was.
Speaker 7 (03:35):
Hey, I tell you what, when you gang her, I'll
rub some lotion on you would.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Now I need to go lay down straight, me up.
Speaker 8 (03:42):
Killers.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
I know.
Speaker 8 (03:49):
I'm getting on Billy Graham Parkway with you all freaks.
Please try to hold it together.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Hey, don't worry.
Speaker 7 (03:53):
If I have to, I'll fill with that interview you
did yesterday with the with the guy and his daughter
that were here.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
How dare you in Salt Hattiesburg that way?
Speaker 8 (04:05):
That was some of my best work.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
Yeah, you're right, Yeah, I said, you're right. Can I
push the button now?
Speaker 8 (04:12):
Please push your button?
Speaker 5 (04:13):
All right? Good morning, begs, y'all, y'all doing man?
Speaker 10 (04:18):
You should killer, you should have been here, Minica.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
There was some jerk on the phone. All right, good
to be here. Good to be here. Hey, from now on,
when I'm late. Yeah, I like this playing. I like
this playing.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I noticed he didn't say if I'm late, said when.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
I'm like, you know, like maybe tomorrow. Yeah, Billy, I'm
falling apart, man.
Speaker 9 (04:40):
Yeah, my boobies are raw and I and I think
I got a chip bone in my left elbow.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I really think we need to get you to the doctor.
Speaker 9 (04:47):
In my in my ear, my ears are still ringing
from Sterling Marlin's dynamite.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
What I'm falling apart?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I said?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
What he was two thirty? So you have that you
will wear a Corse shirt, didn't you? Yeah?
Speaker 9 (05:01):
Yeah, when we played ball, I used to have to
put well band aids, like when when you would raft in.
You don't remember surfing like on the on the old
canvas rafts and the ocean.
Speaker 5 (05:15):
Yeah, and I remember this. It's like back basketball days. Jackie.
Speaker 7 (05:20):
No, it never happened to Jackie because remember until just
a few years ago, she never had boobies.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Yeah, so she always and she always played skins too,
so she's aware of band aids instead of a bra.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
Yeah, just to give her.
Speaker 9 (05:33):
A little shape. All right, Well, let's go. Have you
given the legs up yet, Billy? All right, well let's
do that. Here you go, your legs up for the
outburst game. Were getting ready to play. Actor singer ed
Aames is seventy five. He played Daniel Boone's fest Parker
Indian friend Mingo on the TV show Daniel Boone Mingo.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
I remember, I don't remember Mingo. I remember Indian Friend?
Will you will be okay? Perfectly?
Speaker 9 (06:00):
Nineteen sixty four, during an appearance on the Tonight Show
with Johnny Carson, Ames demonstrated the use of an Indian tomahawk.
The segment, which is now a classic TV blooper, shows
Aimes tossing the tomahawk squarely into the crotch of a
cardboard cowboy. Carson joke, I didn't even know you were Jewish. Weird,
wacky see a man prompted one of the longest in
(06:22):
studio laughs in television history.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
There was a time when Johnny would show that clip
every year on his anniversary.
Speaker 9 (06:29):
That's right, hey, man, can you believe we've actually had
somebody on the Johnny Carson Remember the twenty fifth anniversary show.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
We've had mighty chainsaw.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
Ted's right, We're gonna have to pull up some chainsaw
Ted stuff. We need to honor chainsaw Ted on the
funniest moments in Carson here. He was a buddy of hours,
made the twenty fifth anniversary show.
Speaker 7 (06:47):
I'm kind of a stringer for tonight's show, and one
of the producers is called That's how we got chained
saw Ted on years ago and on this And I've
tried to get the Birdman on. Oh absolutely, and the
Birdman would be a natural. But Johnny, you remember what happened.
I have to have a bitdeotape to send him to
the producer. I must have asked him fifty times for
a tape so I could get him on the tonight show.
He finally brought one. But do you remember what was
(07:09):
wrong with the videotape?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
There was no sound.
Speaker 11 (07:11):
That's right, there was no sounds.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Heart Man Taylor was whistling, but you couldn't hear it.
It looks like he was blowing kisses to the cadio.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Most people, if they wanted to make a videotape without sound,
would not know how to do it.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
And here's a guy did by accident.
Speaker 10 (07:26):
We'll make up your mind's visual audio on media.
Speaker 9 (07:30):
Oh man, let's get back to it all right, item
number two on the state. In seventeen to ninety five,
citizen James Swan paid off the US national debt of
two million, twenty four, eight hundred ninety nine dollars and
thirty four cents. Later on, facing financial ruin himself, Swan
ended up in a debtor's prison.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
That seventeen ninety five, two million dollars.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
That was a lot of money.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
On seventeen ninety five. That was money back then.
Speaker 9 (07:55):
Anyway, Broke ninety five was ninety five miles seventy six
liberty fleven flavoring. All right, that's how old this country was.
Oh gone, this is citizen James Swan day. Let's remember
James Swan hull right, And finally, on this date in
nineteen sixty, a seven year old boy named Roger Woodward
accidentally became the first person to survive plunging over Niagara Falls.
(08:18):
Don't see word accidentally. The boy escaped with only minor injuries.
Unbelievable because you're young, like that's me trying to skimboard now,
But I was just too old.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
They did report his boobies were really injuries.
Speaker 9 (08:34):
I feel you pain, all right, Let's say we can
find Roger Woodward.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
I love to talk to you, talk to him about
his booby. What were you thinking? Well, pretty much it.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Was what was going through your mind?
Speaker 5 (08:49):
All right, y'all that she legs up?
Speaker 9 (08:51):
You want to played this outburst game one eight hundred
big show as your total free line caller nine.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
We'll do it next. Good morning, is it? Make sure already?
(09:25):
I'll come out, Sepper. Let's play uppers.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
It's the game that anyone can be.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
John Boy and Billy gave the prizes from the big
prize being.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Let's go. He contested number one.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
This should never be a lot of us when you're
playing uppers, have a hurry up against.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Time big shots.
Speaker 12 (09:57):
Let's welcome John from West Columbia South.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
How's everything going? Is wondering for you? John?
Speaker 8 (10:15):
Going good?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Going good? All right? John is jumbling in here? You ready, buddy?
Speaker 8 (10:19):
Ready to go?
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Give me three late night TV shows? Ready go Late Night.
Speaker 9 (10:24):
With Jay Leno to the Night, Uh, David Letterman and
Annan O'Brien.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
Alright, Cannon O'Brien, you know Canon comedian?
Speaker 9 (10:40):
Yeah, John, give me three American citizens?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Ready go, Patrick Henry, George Washington and con Handcuff. Yeah,
that's very good, Kojak O'Brien oka.
Speaker 9 (10:55):
Yeah, and John for the wind three national landmarks? Ready
you go, h Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument and the
White House.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Well you just well just busting in right on up.
What there's the deal about, oh, oh, Niagara Falls.
Speaker 9 (11:13):
I guess it's a national landmark for bothous and Canada.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
Roger Woodward, I didn't want to get you started on
Canada again.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
I've just ticked off with Peter Jennings, I really have.
Speaker 7 (11:25):
Well, there's an awful lot of Canadians that wrote me
and said will you please tell him to direct his
anger at Peter Jenner?
Speaker 5 (11:30):
Where good people? A I know every Canadian I've ever met.
Man I got along with only why I went off.
Speaker 9 (11:37):
It was just an old joke. It was a guy
in a grocery store, and uh, please.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Don't tell it again.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
Don't don't make it better by telling it again.
Speaker 9 (11:45):
Well, well, I just gave the punchline. You know, there's
nothing but but oolors and hockey players in Canada's I'm
sorry I was is from Canada.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Yeah, really what team does she play for?
Speaker 13 (11:56):
Me?
Speaker 14 (11:58):
Thank you?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
Shift waitresses driving me morning and a man exchange Holt
head with a bucket.
Speaker 9 (12:06):
And the bird born cowboy John congratulations, buddy, no, thank you.
Speaker 11 (12:12):
I stand on a hill, but not for a thrill,
but for the breath of a fresh kill. And never
mind the man who contemplates doing away with license plates.
He stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent from
(12:33):
the heat of the laundra back.
Speaker 5 (12:35):
Then leaving his soul.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
And then, like in poetry, I go dot dot dot,
you know.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Kind of horse center.
Speaker 14 (12:45):
Then I drop down, and then.
Speaker 11 (12:46):
I go, leaving his soul, parting the waters themadulla our
blog gootta of.
Speaker 14 (12:56):
Mankind.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
If you're like that, job boy.
Speaker 12 (13:00):
Yeah, good morning everybody.
Speaker 9 (13:33):
You are listening to the big show on your radio.
Great radio stations across America, like the one you're listening
to right now, All right, spraggsing no one. In case
you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
(13:58):
On a hotel provided show cap in a box fits
one head.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
Thanks to Rayford for noticing that one.
Speaker 9 (14:09):
On an ice machine in the Sands Hotel lobby, keep
frozen or ice will turn to water on seered on
a Sear's hair dryer. Do not use while sleeping.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Man, say that's the only time I have to work
on my hair.
Speaker 9 (14:32):
On a bar of dial soap directions, use like regular soap.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
That would be hell yeah.
Speaker 9 (14:42):
On some Swan frozen dinners serving suggestion defrost.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
That's just a suggestion though.
Speaker 9 (14:51):
On packaging for a Rowina iron, do not iron clothes
on body.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
There's some stupid people out there.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
But what wouldn't that saved more time?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I'm just.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
On boots, children's cough medicine.
Speaker 9 (15:08):
Do not drive car or operate machinery now, so you know,
we could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents. We just kept those five year olds off
the fork on a Korean kitchen knife, warning keep out
of children.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Or pets Korea. What's for dinner?
Speaker 9 (15:33):
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights for indoor
or outdoor use only.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
As opposed what outer space underground?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
And finally on a Japanese food processor not to be
used for the other use.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Thanks a lot. Now I'm curious, Good morning to.
Speaker 13 (16:18):
Make show it's already ob I'm five away from the
hour and now loves.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Hike.
Speaker 11 (16:29):
Hey that woman yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
yo yo.
Speaker 14 (16:34):
Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. What's up?
Speaker 11 (16:38):
Welcome to axe the man for all of five wy
wye you need all y'all what you call intro inspirational relationship?
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Did this?
Speaker 8 (16:51):
Did I.
Speaker 11 (16:53):
Hear you talk about your new end turned white boy Patrick?
Speaker 14 (16:56):
What's up with that?
Speaker 11 (16:58):
Doesn't that schooling slow you down? How can I get
into the program? Let me know when you have another opening?
Preach y'all, Zippy, the other white.
Speaker 14 (17:08):
Boy m and Lemonzelo and a rogelo sound stupid.
Speaker 11 (17:18):
Deed Zippy first off, with a name like Zippy, you're
gonna be way down the line for Prospectorate of intern
right down there behind astro Nerd. And it goes for
the rest of you, signing lowlan past their face, play
on one of bros. I keep keep I keep mental
(17:39):
rating out of the goodness of his heart. I just
made a little agreement with the State of New Jersey
in lieu of inconsternation, I thought to himself, and last
and last.
Speaker 14 (17:53):
I was gonna get one over on the man. All
I gotta do is.
Speaker 11 (17:57):
Let this crazy little cracker hang with ac and all
those pocket tickets just gonna disappear. I knew it was
too good to be true. Just call me Baron von Funkenstein,
because I have created a monster.
Speaker 14 (18:13):
Let me preach on it.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
No, no, no, now.
Speaker 11 (18:16):
Now, when I took White Boy Patrick, I thought I
just sailed through this gig with some shucking jive and
lead this young blood on until my obligation to the
state with over. Next thing, I know, he's got his
duall Jerry Carl and he's strutting around and acts vented threads,
looking fly and soaking himself down in my private statue.
(18:38):
II karate, what's up with that? He picked right up
on the lingoistics too. He's houling and staggy and booty
and nearly as good as ike.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
Now.
Speaker 14 (18:50):
Now, the last thing I ain't.
Speaker 11 (18:51):
On anybody else would have expected is that White Boy
Patrick is a little honky soul sponge. He is done
sucking up the hip, this Caucasian hoover. And when they
come to partan, this little cracker is wearing ache out.
He still can't dance a lick, but he gets out
(19:11):
there swinging that leg gy, rotating and smiling with that
mouthful of ivory and all Lord the lennis fall all over.
Speaker 14 (19:19):
Him, him, not me.
Speaker 11 (19:23):
I tried to get some play. I mean, ain't no
sense in him doing everything, But no, they only got
his eyes for a white boy.
Speaker 13 (19:32):
Patrick.
Speaker 14 (19:34):
He's even got me fixed the venus. At least it
looks like the platform shoe is on the other good foot.
Speaker 11 (19:43):
Now I could kick him to the curb, I could,
I could except them for one extenuating circumstances. Patrick's got
one hot mama. Ain't his eye that ain't too shabby nither.
Speaker 6 (20:01):
See see see.
Speaker 11 (20:02):
I thinks he can play this meserating thing out until
the future Missus Turner come to her. Since because one's
white boy, Patrick is official land and white for Patrick.
Speaker 14 (20:14):
Turner, things he gonna chase.
Speaker 11 (20:19):
Here's daddy. My first act will be to put my
foot right in the crank and his hind in. If
I can just get him to hold steal for two seconds.
Speaker 14 (20:30):
This is night peace out.
Speaker 9 (20:34):
If you would like to act Skyke mail two ask
Gyke John boy Billy about seven six sixty three, Charlotte,
North Carolina two eight two four to one.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Jack you get you.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Greetings, Oh this is big show.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Legal counsel al Oficious Pete Bagel hole of the bufort
bagel hole. Some of the shows have accused John Boy
and Billy creating a morning radio monopoly, that it's profoundly illegal.
All that's hogwash is all perfectly legal, just like the
(21:12):
Big Show.
Speaker 16 (21:12):
With John Boy and Billy, Good Morning, A big show
(21:47):
is on the radio.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Randy is looking through a book Beauty Secrets. I how apropos.
Speaker 7 (21:57):
I have a daughter, Marcy gave me the book and
I make sure.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
So what is it? Let me say it?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
No, come on, look at he's got all the little pages,
dog eared, well fresh, simple and sassy. Tips for your
perfect look, nail rules to live by, hand care.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
And they're serious about this. By the way, John, those
are serious.
Speaker 9 (22:20):
Yellowed nails remedies. Is that the yellow nails? Is that
a problem for girls? Self tanning tips? You need a
quick tan, but you want to look like you spend
a week in the tropics.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Of course, that's a dilemma for.
Speaker 9 (22:41):
Every Yeah one, take off all your jewelry and remove
all excess hair. And number two, pull your hair back
with a headband. Don't use a shower cat because that
will make you perspire. Of course, you don't want to
look like a geek. Out on the beach with a
shower cat. Put petroleum jelly on your lips and owls.
(23:01):
Use a cotton swab to lightly apply self tanner around
tricky spots like hairlines, ears and nostrils, you know, on
white nostrils.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So the Wagner power painter is now.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
I think Stevie Nicks could have used this.
Speaker 9 (23:15):
Remember when we when we met Stevie Nicks doing a
concert in her Uh, her nose was black.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Yes, it was black, and I mean it was weird.
Speaker 9 (23:24):
And Richard Bowden, our buddy down in Lindon, Texas, who
played guitar for on Belladonna toured with her, said, well,
it was completely opposite when he was.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Stand up the problem. Okay.
Speaker 9 (23:37):
And then finally apply the tanner thinly and evenly. Don't
glob it on. You can reapply more later. Don't move
around too much after applying, even quick drying brands take
a few minutes.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Uh.
Speaker 9 (23:48):
Don't apply too much self tanner around the eyes because
it looked like a little drag racket. That reminds me, man,
I gotta go kill that rabbit raccoon. Yeah, and then
x foliate rough areas before applying tanner. Otherwise the tanner
will settle into your skin service and make the color uneven.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
So that's where I've been going wrong.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Maybe the first time in history that the word exfoliate
in the words rabbid raccoon, I've ever been used in
the same conversation.
Speaker 7 (24:16):
You know, every day you're becoming a little bit more
like the rain man. If you noticed, I mean, I
should point this out to you. What you're driving to
work this morning, I'm just get out of my way.
Oh there's another Chevrolet in front of me. Hello, No,
don't wave at me.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
My booby's hurt. Got to get home to watch Wapner. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (24:32):
And so now, in the middle of reading The Beauty Secret,
you decide you need to go kill a rabbit raccoon.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Hello, I'm an idea man. I can't stop them, so
sometimes they just come on. I can't even fight them off,
you know.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
If you wear like a hat made out of tenfoil.
Speaker 9 (24:46):
But yeah, by y'all gone jumping here and as John
Boy Jeopardy thing, Oh we got a lot. But now
I have heard some stuff of the Wizard of Oz.
Flying monkeys scared me when I was a kid. I
never really got over that. I always thought that was
a creepy movie. I was always enamored by the ten Man.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
You like the ten Man. I'd love to have a robot,
wouldn't you. I'd love to have some flying monkeys. You know,
when you think about it, you already you know, have
you looked around? Yes?
Speaker 9 (25:18):
Well, i'mon tell you all they don't fly. A whole
bunch of stuff about the Wizard of Oz that I
didn't even know. But first of all, just do the
jeopardy question. We'll tell you that when we get a winter.
In the original version of the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy's
ruby slippers aren't ruby at all. This is what color
they were?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Oh blue suede.
Speaker 11 (25:39):
I'll knock you down, snap on your face, slander your
name all over the place.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
My little pretty and your little dog too.
Speaker 5 (25:47):
Blue shoes? Now? Did Dorothy take them shoes off? One
of the wicked witches at the house fell owner?
Speaker 7 (25:52):
Yes, yep, okay, all right, are you the only person
left on the planet?
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I had it right, but they weren't ruby in the
original version. Color worthy right?
Speaker 9 (26:01):
All right, we're gonna get some funny colors here one
eight hundred big show you're toll free line we'll start
recalling nine. We'll go do we get a Winter and
then learn more about the Wizard of Oz movie.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
I love this job. Let's play now this.
Speaker 13 (26:15):
Is this isn't gonna go about? Oh yeah, no, perfect,
really good morning a big show.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Radio.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
I thought it was my headset, but I checked it.
Billy said, happening every day.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
But I over here too, Yeah, fillers, I'm gonna get.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Over that cacophony.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
In the day.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
You got the Colors line ups, Yes, live across America.
It's junk.
Speaker 17 (27:13):
Jumppardy and now I regular one man Wizard of Oz,
no brain, no heart, weird shoes and constantly trying to
get someone to oil him up.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
He's John barn.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
How easy, how easy one hit to him?
Speaker 6 (27:30):
A bay that.
Speaker 5 (27:34):
Snaggled to us? That's the stage left.
Speaker 9 (27:37):
Hey Pillars actually played the cowardly line in a stage.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Version when he was acting of the Wizard of All.
Speaker 10 (27:43):
I have never been so miserable in you know, I
can wear shorts in the wintertime and sweat you're already
covered in and I'm in a lion up in under
about two inches of makeup. But the time I got
to the courage. What makes a king out of a slave.
I wish you people would go home.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Lorna out of Warner Robins, Georgia. Hello, Lorna, Hello, how
are you doing? What we're doing? Good? Baby? Okay?
Speaker 8 (28:12):
I am just fine.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
Good. What are you doing? Am?
Speaker 13 (28:16):
I am packed on the side of the road on
my cell phone on.
Speaker 8 (28:19):
My way to work.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Oh, pulling over. You're practicing safe jeopardy?
Speaker 9 (28:24):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 5 (28:24):
Okay? Good well? Laurna color northy slippers? They show us blue?
Speaker 9 (28:36):
Yeah, Billy thought they were blue Swede. They weren't blue,
and they weren't swayed.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Put him up, put him up? What you have in before?
I didn't buy them? Thank you, Laura. Have a good day,
baby you too. Bye bye bye bye. We got Josh
out of Concord, North Carolina. Hello, Josh, Josh, what.
Speaker 6 (29:01):
Do you think?
Speaker 5 (29:01):
Buddy? Silver? Show us silver?
Speaker 9 (29:13):
All right, y'all listen to this and it'll explain the
silver slippers the story some see L. Frank Baum's Wizard
of Oz story containing political and social satire.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Did you know this?
Speaker 9 (29:27):
Pillers, the little girl from the Midwest is the typical American.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
I could barely remember my life. Well.
Speaker 9 (29:35):
She meets up with a brainless scarecrow that represents farmers,
a tin man with no heart, which represents industry, a
cowardly lion which represents politicians, in particular William Jennings Bryan
did he sound like that?
Speaker 8 (29:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Somebody had a tail.
Speaker 9 (29:56):
And a flashy but ultimately powerless wizard representing technology. Although
the little people keep telling her to follow the yellow
brick road, that's the gold standard. In the end, it's
her silver in the original story slippers that represents the
silver standard that help her get back to the good
old days.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Pay no attention to that man behind the microphone. He's
in there. It is right there. Hey, congratulations, Josh you
welc Manyard And now the moment you all have been
reading for.
Speaker 11 (30:36):
But some folks consider the single best part of the
John Boy and Billy Big Show, a highly anticipated highlight
that's short of please.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
That's right. It's a break from all the stupid right
here on the really big shoe. Good morning, it's a
(31:24):
big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Radio.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
Welcome Brad Stein, co median in the CEO.
Speaker 6 (31:31):
Hey, brow Man, I am home is what I want
to tell you. I am home. I am in the South.
This is conservative America. This is my people. I love
the South because you guys are what America was.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You are the remnants of what we were, the blue
collar pull yourself up by on bootstraps type people. You
know what I love about you guys. You hunt, you fish,
and you don't apologize. I'm so tired though.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
Don't shoot the animals. They might get there feeling.
Speaker 10 (32:02):
This is you.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Don't even pretend to be animal, right, You people are
like see the bunny, shoot it, eat it, make a hat?
Speaker 14 (32:12):
Is that a snake?
Speaker 6 (32:13):
That's a boot right there?
Speaker 5 (32:15):
Cut it, eat it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
If you got a head leftover, hang it on your wall.
That's America. God, Bus, John Boy, and Billy.
Speaker 5 (32:22):
I am home.
Speaker 6 (32:25):
Why people are here?
Speaker 9 (32:27):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (32:28):
This is the best I love downside. I moved down
so I want to be a Southerner. I don't know
how to do it.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I moved here from southern California, which, by the way,
I thought was conservative.
Speaker 6 (32:39):
Then I moved to Nashville, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
By the way, anybody out here that is still leave
under the delusion that Americans are exactly the same. Live
thirty years in southern California and moved to Nashville, Tennessee.
Speaker 6 (32:51):
This is the greatest Southern people.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
You make sick. You know what?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
A little about you guys, politically correct does not exist
in this world here. You guys, do you like makes cigarettes?
Speaker 6 (33:00):
You smoke them.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
You're proud of the You don't forget about you guys
like you go to church. You people forget the separation
in church and stay. You know what, We're gonna take
some textiles and build a road and we're gonna name
it after Billy Graham.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
What are you gonna do about that?
Speaker 5 (33:16):
Co Ou.
Speaker 6 (33:17):
We're gonna force you to make Billy Graham his own freeway.
That's what I love it.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
You know, I mean, I see people southern California. I
don't mean to hog the thing. I'm just so excited
I heard you, guys. I love you get southern California.
It's illegal to smoke in the buildings in California, right, Okay, Tennessee,
it's illegal not to smoke in all of the Everybody
down south or smoke. I got women in old ladies
wheelchairs smoking, watching their three year old kids on tricycles
(33:45):
who are smoking. This is what I love about these
It would be rough growing up down south, Jonah. Don't
get up from out table till you finish that cigarette.
Speaker 5 (33:58):
Of lock Man thought.
Speaker 6 (33:59):
Hush up your sister, Leader School. I'm not saying.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I'm in Nashville. You know what to state MINEO Tennessee
is if you're this is my kind of country.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
I am A.
Speaker 6 (34:11):
I'm a I'm a Southerner from now on. Show me
how to be one of you guys. I'm in this game.
I'm a Southern boy from now on. Anyways, That's all
I got to say. I love you, John Boy and
Billy oh Man. I'm gonna live here from now on.
Dear Diary, this is GARYU se I as the weirdest dream.
The other night, I was duct taped to an examination
table while a bunch of metal patients were mumbling gibberish
into my ear.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Y y y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Turns out it weren't no dream. I was just listening
to wordy word on the Big Show with John Boy
and Milly. Someone needs to heard those losers into the
not okay corral.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
H h, Good morning the Big Shows on the radio.
Speaker 4 (01:03):
How y'all doing Tuesday, July nine, Let's welcome a very
special guest. Hello, who's this on the Wolfman's telephone?
Speaker 5 (01:17):
How cool?
Speaker 6 (01:17):
Was that?
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Just kidding you?
Speaker 7 (01:19):
Remember when you said, let you know when you're starting
to creep us out?
Speaker 8 (01:23):
Yeah, I changed my mind.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
I actually thought that was kind of cool. Hey, turn
your radio up, man.
Speaker 8 (01:29):
No, Billy con I don't live for your amusement.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
Oh, he's sick of it. In the light of your life.
Speaker 7 (01:36):
For those of you who were in the pool, that
was fourteen seconds, fourteen seconds before John Boy turned on
one of the cast members as indeed.
Speaker 8 (01:45):
I'll just out you with my friendly commuter side. Hello,
get out of my way? Okay? No, ho hell look,
another friendly Chevrolet truck in front of me. Hi, Hey,
remember that Stevie Wonder song when uh could we couldn't
understand what he said, but he says Chevrolet devil, Cheveley, Cheveley.
(02:05):
You know what he's saying.
Speaker 5 (02:06):
No, I don't have any thanks for laying down on him.
And that's Stevie Webber.
Speaker 8 (02:13):
You're laying down on that improv bit on the way
in the work.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
I say, it's always one person doesn't and all of
a sudden it's y'all. It's like everybody in the room
has turned.
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Why is that I.
Speaker 8 (02:22):
Don't understand the bility.
Speaker 5 (02:24):
When when this is the only reason he's late is
because he wants to do this.
Speaker 8 (02:33):
Oh my little Mexican friends, get over there in front
of me. I'm not in a hurry. You've got twelve
hours of daylight. Twitter, Twitter, Twitter.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
I think I think I need to go lay down
for what you got?
Speaker 8 (02:55):
Hey, the girls boobies ever get sore? Well, what I'm
probably probably not?
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Jackie?
Speaker 8 (03:02):
You know. I mean like, uh, like we used to
play basketball. We had those uh course jerseys, and I
used to have to put band aids. It's this a
little really, I don't know why I'm telling you this.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I shudder to ask why this came up.
Speaker 8 (03:15):
Yeah, I was exercising yesterday and I had a coarse
shirt on. And you know what, we'll maybe could react
to this like when you're rafting in the ocean, you know,
and sometimes you rub your you rub your boobies summer.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
Marcy.
Speaker 9 (03:30):
Uh.
Speaker 8 (03:30):
Anyway, I'm just a little uncomfortable. I thought you all
might care, but I was.
Speaker 7 (03:35):
Hey, I tell you what, when you gang her, I'll
rub some lotion on you would.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Now I need to go lay down straight, me up.
Speaker 8 (03:42):
Killers.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
I know.
Speaker 8 (03:49):
I'm getting on Billy Graham Parkway with you all freaks.
Please try to hold it together.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Hey, don't worry.
Speaker 7 (03:53):
If I have to, I'll fill with that interview you
did yesterday with the with the guy and his daughter
that were here.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
How dare you in Salt Hattiesburg that way?
Speaker 8 (04:05):
That was some of my best work.
Speaker 7 (04:07):
Yeah, you're right, Yeah, I said, you're right. Can I
push the button now?
Speaker 8 (04:12):
Please push your button?
Speaker 5 (04:13):
All right? Good morning, begs, y'all, y'all doing man?
Speaker 10 (04:18):
You should killer, you should have been here, Minica.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
There was some jerk on the phone. All right, good
to be here. Good to be here. Hey, from now on,
when I'm late. Yeah, I like this playing. I like
this playing.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I noticed he didn't say if I'm late, said when.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
I'm like, you know, like maybe tomorrow. Yeah, Billy, I'm
falling apart, man.
Speaker 9 (04:40):
Yeah, my boobies are raw and I and I think
I got a chip bone in my left elbow.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I really think we need to get you to the doctor.
Speaker 9 (04:47):
In my in my ear, my ears are still ringing
from Sterling Marlin's dynamite.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
What I'm falling apart?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I said?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
What he was two thirty? So you have that you
will wear a Corse shirt, didn't you? Yeah?
Speaker 9 (05:01):
Yeah, when we played ball, I used to have to
put well band aids, like when when you would raft in.
You don't remember surfing like on the on the old
canvas rafts and the ocean.
Speaker 5 (05:15):
Yeah, and I remember this. It's like back basketball days. Jackie.
Speaker 7 (05:20):
No, it never happened to Jackie because remember until just
a few years ago, she never had boobies.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Yeah, so she always and she always played skins too,
so she's aware of band aids instead of a bra.
Speaker 5 (05:32):
Yeah, just to give her.
Speaker 9 (05:33):
A little shape. All right, Well, let's go. Have you
given the legs up yet, Billy? All right, well let's
do that. Here you go, your legs up for the
outburst game. Were getting ready to play. Actor singer ed
Aames is seventy five. He played Daniel Boone's fest Parker
Indian friend Mingo on the TV show Daniel Boone Mingo.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
I remember, I don't remember Mingo. I remember Indian Friend?
Will you will be okay? Perfectly?
Speaker 9 (06:00):
Nineteen sixty four, during an appearance on the Tonight Show
with Johnny Carson, Ames demonstrated the use of an Indian tomahawk.
The segment, which is now a classic TV blooper, shows
Aimes tossing the tomahawk squarely into the crotch of a
cardboard cowboy. Carson joke, I didn't even know you were Jewish. Weird,
wacky see a man prompted one of the longest in
(06:22):
studio laughs in television history.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
There was a time when Johnny would show that clip
every year on his anniversary.
Speaker 9 (06:29):
That's right, hey, man, can you believe we've actually had
somebody on the Johnny Carson Remember the twenty fifth anniversary show.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
We've had mighty chainsaw.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
Ted's right, We're gonna have to pull up some chainsaw
Ted stuff. We need to honor chainsaw Ted on the
funniest moments in Carson here. He was a buddy of hours,
made the twenty fifth anniversary show.
Speaker 7 (06:47):
I'm kind of a stringer for tonight's show, and one
of the producers is called That's how we got chained
saw Ted on years ago and on this And I've
tried to get the Birdman on. Oh absolutely, and the
Birdman would be a natural. But Johnny, you remember what happened.
I have to have a bitdeotape to send him to
the producer. I must have asked him fifty times for
a tape so I could get him on the tonight show.
He finally brought one. But do you remember what was
(07:09):
wrong with the videotape?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
There was no sound.
Speaker 11 (07:11):
That's right, there was no sounds.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Heart Man Taylor was whistling, but you couldn't hear it.
It looks like he was blowing kisses to the cadio.
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Most people, if they wanted to make a videotape without sound,
would not know how to do it.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
And here's a guy did by accident.
Speaker 10 (07:26):
We'll make up your mind's visual audio on media.
Speaker 9 (07:30):
Oh man, let's get back to it all right, item
number two on the state. In seventeen to ninety five,
citizen James Swan paid off the US national debt of
two million, twenty four, eight hundred ninety nine dollars and
thirty four cents. Later on, facing financial ruin himself, Swan
ended up in a debtor's prison.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
That seventeen ninety five, two million dollars.
Speaker 8 (07:52):
That was a lot of money.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
On seventeen ninety five. That was money back then.
Speaker 9 (07:55):
Anyway, Broke ninety five was ninety five miles seventy six
liberty fleven flavoring. All right, that's how old this country was.
Oh gone, this is citizen James Swan day. Let's remember
James Swan hull right, And finally, on this date in
nineteen sixty, a seven year old boy named Roger Woodward
accidentally became the first person to survive plunging over Niagara Falls.
(08:18):
Don't see word accidentally. The boy escaped with only minor injuries.
Unbelievable because you're young, like that's me trying to skimboard now,
But I was just too old.
Speaker 5 (08:28):
They did report his boobies were really injuries.
Speaker 9 (08:34):
I feel you pain, all right, Let's say we can
find Roger Woodward.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
I love to talk to you, talk to him about
his booby. What were you thinking? Well, pretty much it.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Was what was going through your mind?
Speaker 5 (08:49):
All right, y'all that she legs up?
Speaker 9 (08:51):
You want to played this outburst game one eight hundred
big show as your total free line caller nine.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
We'll do it next. Good morning, is it? Make sure already?
(09:25):
I'll come out, Sepper. Let's play uppers.
Speaker 6 (09:32):
It's the game that anyone can be.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
John Boy and Billy gave the prizes from the big
prize being.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
Let's go. He contested number one.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
This should never be a lot of us when you're
playing uppers, have a hurry up against.
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Time big shots.
Speaker 12 (09:57):
Let's welcome John from West Columbia South.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
How's everything going? Is wondering for you? John?
Speaker 8 (10:15):
Going good?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Going good? All right? John is jumbling in here? You ready, buddy?
Speaker 8 (10:19):
Ready to go?
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Give me three late night TV shows? Ready go Late Night.
Speaker 9 (10:24):
With Jay Leno to the Night, Uh, David Letterman and
Annan O'Brien.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
Alright, Cannon O'Brien, you know Canon comedian?
Speaker 9 (10:40):
Yeah, John, give me three American citizens?
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Ready go, Patrick Henry, George Washington and con Handcuff. Yeah,
that's very good, Kojak O'Brien oka.
Speaker 9 (10:55):
Yeah, and John for the wind three national landmarks? Ready
you go, h Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument and the
White House.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
Well you just well just busting in right on up.
What there's the deal about, oh, oh, Niagara Falls.
Speaker 9 (11:13):
I guess it's a national landmark for bothous and Canada.
Speaker 7 (11:17):
Roger Woodward, I didn't want to get you started on
Canada again.
Speaker 5 (11:22):
I've just ticked off with Peter Jennings, I really have.
Speaker 7 (11:25):
Well, there's an awful lot of Canadians that wrote me
and said will you please tell him to direct his
anger at Peter Jenner?
Speaker 5 (11:30):
Where good people? A I know every Canadian I've ever met.
Man I got along with only why I went off.
Speaker 9 (11:37):
It was just an old joke. It was a guy
in a grocery store, and uh, please.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
Don't tell it again.
Speaker 7 (11:42):
Don't don't make it better by telling it again.
Speaker 9 (11:45):
Well, well, I just gave the punchline. You know, there's
nothing but but oolors and hockey players in Canada's I'm
sorry I was is from Canada.
Speaker 5 (11:55):
Yeah, really what team does she play for?
Speaker 13 (11:56):
Me?
Speaker 14 (11:58):
Thank you?
Speaker 5 (11:59):
Shift waitresses driving me morning and a man exchange Holt
head with a bucket.
Speaker 9 (12:06):
And the bird born cowboy John congratulations, buddy, no, thank you.
Speaker 11 (12:12):
I stand on a hill, but not for a thrill,
but for the breath of a fresh kill. And never
mind the man who contemplates doing away with license plates.
He stands alone anyhow, baking the cookies of discontent from
(12:33):
the heat of the laundra back.
Speaker 5 (12:35):
Then leaving his soul.
Speaker 11 (12:39):
And then, like in poetry, I go dot dot dot,
you know.
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Kind of horse center.
Speaker 14 (12:45):
Then I drop down, and then.
Speaker 11 (12:46):
I go, leaving his soul, parting the waters themadulla our
blog gootta of.
Speaker 14 (12:56):
Mankind.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
If you're like that, job boy.
Speaker 12 (13:00):
Yeah, good morning everybody.
Speaker 9 (13:33):
You are listening to the big show on your radio.
Great radio stations across America, like the one you're listening
to right now, All right, spraggsing no one. In case
you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
(13:58):
On a hotel provided show cap in a box fits
one head.
Speaker 5 (14:06):
Thanks to Rayford for noticing that one.
Speaker 9 (14:09):
On an ice machine in the Sands Hotel lobby, keep
frozen or ice will turn to water on seered on
a Sear's hair dryer. Do not use while sleeping.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
Man, say that's the only time I have to work
on my hair.
Speaker 9 (14:32):
On a bar of dial soap directions, use like regular soap.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
That would be hell yeah.
Speaker 9 (14:42):
On some Swan frozen dinners serving suggestion defrost.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
That's just a suggestion though.
Speaker 9 (14:51):
On packaging for a Rowina iron, do not iron clothes
on body.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
There's some stupid people out there.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
But what wouldn't that saved more time?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I'm just.
Speaker 5 (15:06):
On boots, children's cough medicine.
Speaker 9 (15:08):
Do not drive car or operate machinery now, so you know,
we could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents. We just kept those five year olds off
the fork on a Korean kitchen knife, warning keep out
of children.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Or pets Korea. What's for dinner?
Speaker 9 (15:33):
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights for indoor
or outdoor use only.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
As opposed what outer space underground?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
And finally on a Japanese food processor not to be
used for the other use.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
Thanks a lot. Now I'm curious, Good morning to.
Speaker 13 (16:18):
Make show it's already ob I'm five away from the
hour and now loves.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Hike.
Speaker 11 (16:29):
Hey that woman yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo
yo yo.
Speaker 14 (16:34):
Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo. What's up?
Speaker 11 (16:38):
Welcome to axe the man for all of five wy
wye you need all y'all what you call intro inspirational relationship?
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Did this?
Speaker 8 (16:51):
Did I.
Speaker 11 (16:53):
Hear you talk about your new end turned white boy Patrick?
Speaker 14 (16:56):
What's up with that?
Speaker 11 (16:58):
Doesn't that schooling slow you down? How can I get
into the program? Let me know when you have another opening?
Preach y'all, Zippy, the other white.
Speaker 14 (17:08):
Boy m and Lemonzelo and a rogelo sound stupid.
Speaker 11 (17:18):
Deed Zippy first off, with a name like Zippy, you're
gonna be way down the line for Prospectorate of intern
right down there behind astro Nerd. And it goes for
the rest of you, signing lowlan past their face, play
on one of bros. I keep keep I keep mental
(17:39):
rating out of the goodness of his heart. I just
made a little agreement with the State of New Jersey
in lieu of inconsternation, I thought to himself, and last
and last.
Speaker 14 (17:53):
I was gonna get one over on the man. All
I gotta do is.
Speaker 11 (17:57):
Let this crazy little cracker hang with ac and all
those pocket tickets just gonna disappear. I knew it was
too good to be true. Just call me Baron von Funkenstein,
because I have created a monster.
Speaker 14 (18:13):
Let me preach on it.
Speaker 5 (18:15):
No, no, no, now.
Speaker 11 (18:16):
Now, when I took White Boy Patrick, I thought I
just sailed through this gig with some shucking jive and
lead this young blood on until my obligation to the
state with over. Next thing, I know, he's got his
duall Jerry Carl and he's strutting around and acts vented threads,
looking fly and soaking himself down in my private statue.
(18:38):
II karate, what's up with that? He picked right up
on the lingoistics too. He's houling and staggy and booty
and nearly as good as ike.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
Now.
Speaker 14 (18:50):
Now, the last thing I ain't.
Speaker 11 (18:51):
On anybody else would have expected is that White Boy
Patrick is a little honky soul sponge. He is done
sucking up the hip, this Caucasian hoover. And when they
come to partan, this little cracker is wearing ache out.
He still can't dance a lick, but he gets out
(19:11):
there swinging that leg gy, rotating and smiling with that
mouthful of ivory and all Lord the lennis fall all over.
Speaker 14 (19:19):
Him, him, not me.
Speaker 11 (19:23):
I tried to get some play. I mean, ain't no
sense in him doing everything, But no, they only got
his eyes for a white boy.
Speaker 13 (19:32):
Patrick.
Speaker 14 (19:34):
He's even got me fixed the venus. At least it
looks like the platform shoe is on the other good foot.
Speaker 11 (19:43):
Now I could kick him to the curb, I could,
I could except them for one extenuating circumstances. Patrick's got
one hot mama. Ain't his eye that ain't too shabby nither.
Speaker 6 (20:01):
See see see.
Speaker 11 (20:02):
I thinks he can play this meserating thing out until
the future Missus Turner come to her. Since because one's
white boy, Patrick is official land and white for Patrick.
Speaker 14 (20:14):
Turner, things he gonna chase.
Speaker 11 (20:19):
Here's daddy. My first act will be to put my
foot right in the crank and his hind in. If
I can just get him to hold steal for two seconds.
Speaker 14 (20:30):
This is night peace out.
Speaker 9 (20:34):
If you would like to act Skyke mail two ask
Gyke John boy Billy about seven six sixty three, Charlotte,
North Carolina two eight two four to one.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Jack you get you.
Speaker 5 (20:49):
Greetings, Oh this is big show.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Legal counsel al Oficious Pete Bagel hole of the bufort
bagel hole. Some of the shows have accused John Boy
and Billy creating a morning radio monopoly, that it's profoundly illegal.
All that's hogwash is all perfectly legal, just like the
(21:12):
Big Show.
Speaker 16 (21:12):
With John Boy and Billy, Good Morning, A big show
(21:47):
is on the radio.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Randy is looking through a book Beauty Secrets. I how apropos.
Speaker 7 (21:57):
I have a daughter, Marcy gave me the book and
I make sure.
Speaker 5 (22:04):
So what is it? Let me say it?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
No, come on, look at he's got all the little pages,
dog eared, well fresh, simple and sassy. Tips for your
perfect look, nail rules to live by, hand care.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
And they're serious about this. By the way, John, those
are serious.
Speaker 9 (22:20):
Yellowed nails remedies. Is that the yellow nails? Is that
a problem for girls? Self tanning tips? You need a
quick tan, but you want to look like you spend
a week in the tropics.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
Of course, that's a dilemma for.
Speaker 9 (22:41):
Every Yeah one, take off all your jewelry and remove
all excess hair. And number two, pull your hair back
with a headband. Don't use a shower cat because that
will make you perspire. Of course, you don't want to
look like a geek. Out on the beach with a
shower cat. Put petroleum jelly on your lips and owls.
(23:01):
Use a cotton swab to lightly apply self tanner around
tricky spots like hairlines, ears and nostrils, you know, on
white nostrils.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So the Wagner power painter is now.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
I think Stevie Nicks could have used this.
Speaker 9 (23:15):
Remember when we when we met Stevie Nicks doing a
concert in her Uh, her nose was black.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Yes, it was black, and I mean it was weird.
Speaker 9 (23:24):
And Richard Bowden, our buddy down in Lindon, Texas, who
played guitar for on Belladonna toured with her, said, well,
it was completely opposite when he was.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
Stand up the problem. Okay.
Speaker 9 (23:37):
And then finally apply the tanner thinly and evenly. Don't
glob it on. You can reapply more later. Don't move
around too much after applying, even quick drying brands take
a few minutes.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Uh.
Speaker 9 (23:48):
Don't apply too much self tanner around the eyes because
it looked like a little drag racket. That reminds me, man,
I gotta go kill that rabbit raccoon. Yeah, and then
x foliate rough areas before applying tanner. Otherwise the tanner
will settle into your skin service and make the color uneven.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
So that's where I've been going wrong.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Maybe the first time in history that the word exfoliate
in the words rabbid raccoon, I've ever been used in
the same conversation.
Speaker 7 (24:16):
You know, every day you're becoming a little bit more
like the rain man. If you noticed, I mean, I
should point this out to you. What you're driving to
work this morning, I'm just get out of my way.
Oh there's another Chevrolet in front of me. Hello, No,
don't wave at me.
Speaker 5 (24:26):
My booby's hurt. Got to get home to watch Wapner. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (24:32):
And so now, in the middle of reading The Beauty Secret,
you decide you need to go kill a rabbit raccoon.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Hello, I'm an idea man. I can't stop them, so
sometimes they just come on. I can't even fight them off,
you know.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
If you wear like a hat made out of tenfoil.
Speaker 9 (24:46):
But yeah, by y'all gone jumping here and as John
Boy Jeopardy thing, Oh we got a lot. But now
I have heard some stuff of the Wizard of Oz.
Flying monkeys scared me when I was a kid. I
never really got over that. I always thought that was
a creepy movie. I was always enamored by the ten Man.
Speaker 5 (25:07):
You like the ten Man. I'd love to have a robot,
wouldn't you. I'd love to have some flying monkeys. You know,
when you think about it, you already you know, have
you looked around? Yes?
Speaker 9 (25:18):
Well, i'mon tell you all they don't fly. A whole
bunch of stuff about the Wizard of Oz that I
didn't even know. But first of all, just do the
jeopardy question. We'll tell you that when we get a winter.
In the original version of the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy's
ruby slippers aren't ruby at all. This is what color
they were?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Oh blue suede.
Speaker 11 (25:39):
I'll knock you down, snap on your face, slander your
name all over the place.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
My little pretty and your little dog too.
Speaker 5 (25:47):
Blue shoes? Now? Did Dorothy take them shoes off? One
of the wicked witches at the house fell owner?
Speaker 7 (25:52):
Yes, yep, okay, all right, are you the only person
left on the planet?
Speaker 5 (25:56):
I had it right, but they weren't ruby in the
original version. Color worthy right?
Speaker 9 (26:01):
All right, we're gonna get some funny colors here one
eight hundred big show you're toll free line we'll start
recalling nine. We'll go do we get a Winter and
then learn more about the Wizard of Oz movie.
Speaker 5 (26:12):
I love this job. Let's play now this.
Speaker 13 (26:15):
Is this isn't gonna go about? Oh yeah, no, perfect,
really good morning a big show.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Radio.
Speaker 5 (26:50):
I thought it was my headset, but I checked it.
Billy said, happening every day.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
But I over here too, Yeah, fillers, I'm gonna get.
Speaker 5 (26:56):
Over that cacophony.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
In the day.
Speaker 5 (27:02):
You got the Colors line ups, Yes, live across America.
It's junk.
Speaker 17 (27:13):
Jumppardy and now I regular one man Wizard of Oz,
no brain, no heart, weird shoes and constantly trying to
get someone to oil him up.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
He's John barn.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
How easy, how easy one hit to him?
Speaker 6 (27:30):
A bay that.
Speaker 5 (27:34):
Snaggled to us? That's the stage left.
Speaker 9 (27:37):
Hey Pillars actually played the cowardly line in a stage.
Speaker 5 (27:41):
Version when he was acting of the Wizard of All.
Speaker 10 (27:43):
I have never been so miserable in you know, I
can wear shorts in the wintertime and sweat you're already
covered in and I'm in a lion up in under
about two inches of makeup. But the time I got
to the courage. What makes a king out of a slave.
I wish you people would go home.
Speaker 5 (28:05):
Lorna out of Warner Robins, Georgia. Hello, Lorna, Hello, how
are you doing? What we're doing? Good? Baby? Okay?
Speaker 8 (28:12):
I am just fine.
Speaker 5 (28:13):
Good. What are you doing? Am?
Speaker 13 (28:16):
I am packed on the side of the road on
my cell phone on.
Speaker 8 (28:19):
My way to work.
Speaker 5 (28:20):
Oh, pulling over. You're practicing safe jeopardy?
Speaker 9 (28:24):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 5 (28:24):
Okay? Good well? Laurna color northy slippers? They show us blue?
Speaker 9 (28:36):
Yeah, Billy thought they were blue Swede. They weren't blue,
and they weren't swayed.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
Put him up, put him up? What you have in before?
I didn't buy them? Thank you, Laura. Have a good day,
baby you too. Bye bye bye bye. We got Josh
out of Concord, North Carolina. Hello, Josh, Josh, what.
Speaker 6 (29:01):
Do you think?
Speaker 5 (29:01):
Buddy? Silver? Show us silver?
Speaker 9 (29:13):
All right, y'all listen to this and it'll explain the
silver slippers the story some see L. Frank Baum's Wizard
of Oz story containing political and social satire.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Did you know this?
Speaker 9 (29:27):
Pillers, the little girl from the Midwest is the typical American.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
I could barely remember my life. Well.
Speaker 9 (29:35):
She meets up with a brainless scarecrow that represents farmers,
a tin man with no heart, which represents industry, a
cowardly lion which represents politicians, in particular William Jennings Bryan
did he sound like that?
Speaker 8 (29:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
Somebody had a tail.
Speaker 9 (29:56):
And a flashy but ultimately powerless wizard representing technology. Although
the little people keep telling her to follow the yellow
brick road, that's the gold standard. In the end, it's
her silver in the original story slippers that represents the
silver standard that help her get back to the good
old days.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Pay no attention to that man behind the microphone. He's
in there. It is right there. Hey, congratulations, Josh you
welc Manyard And now the moment you all have been
reading for.
Speaker 11 (30:36):
But some folks consider the single best part of the
John Boy and Billy Big Show, a highly anticipated highlight
that's short of please.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
That's right. It's a break from all the stupid right
here on the really big shoe. Good morning, it's a
(31:24):
big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Radio.
Speaker 5 (31:28):
Welcome Brad Stein, co median in the CEO.
Speaker 6 (31:31):
Hey, brow Man, I am home is what I want
to tell you. I am home. I am in the South.
This is conservative America. This is my people. I love
the South because you guys are what America was.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
You are the remnants of what we were, the blue
collar pull yourself up by on bootstraps type people. You
know what I love about you guys. You hunt, you fish,
and you don't apologize. I'm so tired though.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
Don't shoot the animals. They might get there feeling.
Speaker 10 (32:02):
This is you.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Don't even pretend to be animal, right, You people are
like see the bunny, shoot it, eat it, make a hat?
Speaker 14 (32:12):
Is that a snake?
Speaker 6 (32:13):
That's a boot right there?
Speaker 5 (32:15):
Cut it, eat it.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
If you got a head leftover, hang it on your wall.
That's America. God, Bus, John Boy, and Billy.
Speaker 5 (32:22):
I am home.
Speaker 6 (32:25):
Why people are here?
Speaker 9 (32:27):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (32:28):
This is the best I love downside. I moved down
so I want to be a Southerner. I don't know
how to do it.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I moved here from southern California, which, by the way,
I thought was conservative.
Speaker 6 (32:39):
Then I moved to Nashville, Tennessee.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
By the way, anybody out here that is still leave
under the delusion that Americans are exactly the same. Live
thirty years in southern California and moved to Nashville, Tennessee.
Speaker 6 (32:51):
This is the greatest Southern people.
Speaker 5 (32:53):
You make sick. You know what?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
A little about you guys, politically correct does not exist
in this world here. You guys, do you like makes cigarettes?
Speaker 6 (33:00):
You smoke them.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
You're proud of the You don't forget about you guys
like you go to church. You people forget the separation
in church and stay. You know what, We're gonna take
some textiles and build a road and we're gonna name
it after Billy Graham.
Speaker 6 (33:14):
What are you gonna do about that?
Speaker 5 (33:16):
Co Ou.
Speaker 6 (33:17):
We're gonna force you to make Billy Graham his own freeway.
That's what I love it.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
You know, I mean, I see people southern California. I
don't mean to hog the thing. I'm just so excited
I heard you, guys. I love you get southern California.
It's illegal to smoke in the buildings in California, right, Okay, Tennessee,
it's illegal not to smoke in all of the Everybody
down south or smoke. I got women in old ladies
wheelchairs smoking, watching their three year old kids on tricycles
(33:45):
who are smoking. This is what I love about these
It would be rough growing up down south, Jonah. Don't
get up from out table till you finish that cigarette.
Speaker 5 (33:58):
Of lock Man thought.
Speaker 6 (33:59):
Hush up your sister, Leader School. I'm not saying.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
I'm in Nashville. You know what to state MINEO Tennessee
is if you're this is my kind of country.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
I am A.
Speaker 6 (34:11):
I'm a I'm a Southerner from now on. Show me
how to be one of you guys. I'm in this game.
I'm a Southern boy from now on. Anyways, That's all
I got to say. I love you, John Boy and
Billy oh Man. I'm gonna live here from now on.
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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