January 7, 2025 • 44 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll pull out a few ballads today - starting with the Ballad of Terry Hanson - and the Ballad of John Boy.. - then later on, the Ballad of Sweet Patrick.. - Tater has a new edition of What to Watch.. - Nervel T. Wheeler stops by to impart some wisdom.. - Mark Packer updates us on College Football.. - John Boy brings in some predictions from the Old Farmer’s Almanac.. - and the Mayor of Dismal Seepage shares his plans for a Happy New REAR Festival…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up, we
played beat the Blonde. Do it when a Happy Herd
prize pack Happy heard makes top quality attractives, minerals and
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(00:24):
all starts at the Big show dot com. That that
has started the first twelve team college football playoff ever.
Our man Mark Packer from the ACC networking the Big
ESPN covering for us, and here we are the brand
new year headed towards some weekend football that matters that pack.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Good morning, Buddy, Yeah, Good morning john Boy. Happy new
year to you and the whole gang all your listeners.
But you're right, the college football Playoff is underway. We
finally got done with the bull season, Johnny. I mean, listen,
I cover the ACC. The ACC went to any eleven
in the bowl game, So I like to fast forward
past that disaster because there wasn't a whole lot of
(01:06):
happiness in the ACC land from that perspective. But nevertheless,
the college football playoffs are legit and we're now down
literally to.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
What we knew it normally had, right four teams.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And again it's been kind of interesting because really the
conference's always the standard for college football is the SCC,
but they've really struggled in the postseason. And it's true
for none of the college football playoffs but also the
regular bowl games.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
But we're gonna listen, it's gonna be a great five
days of football.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Really starts on Thursday because that's the first semifinal in
the Cotton Bowl. Ohio State takes on Texas. Then on
Friday you got the Orange Bowl at Penn State Notre Dame.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
But it's been bizarre.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But again it's five straight days of great football. You
got Thursday Friday for the college now and then you
get the wild card weekend Saturday, Sunday, Monday. So really
five awesome days of football right Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Coming up at the.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
College Boys take over Thursday and Friday with the college
football playoff. But it's been, like I said, bizarre. The
playoffs again, different story. The Big Ten has really been
the story. You got Ohio State and Penn State still
alive from that perspective, so you could potentially have an
all Big Ten national championship game again if that happens,
We've already seen Ohio State and Penn State play during
(02:19):
the regular season. Now Notre Dame, they won their first
major bowl game Johnny in thirty one years.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
They had not won a major ball game since January first,
nineteen ninety four. They go down. They beat Georgia at
the Sugar Bowl.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And again if Dalton prayers who out to Kirby Smart
he lost his dad over the holidays. It's really a
terrible story on that front. But again from a football perspective,
great win for Notre Dame. They move on to take
on Penn State and the Big Ten. Four and one
against the SEC. Got to mention the SEC's really struggled.
Tennessee lost, they got blown out by Ohio State. Georgia's
(02:53):
I just mentioned a double digit loss in Notre Dame.
So a lot of barking going on from the SEC.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
One.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Remember they only talked about man Bama should have been in.
Obama played Michigan, they were favored by like seventeen.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
They got beatn that game. In their bowl game.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
A lot of people say, man, South Carolina, the hottest
team in the SEC. They lost, is a double digit
favorite to Illinois. So again the Big Ten flexing on
the old Southern Fried football. Johnny, We're not used to
that nonsense around the East part. So nevertheless, that's what
we got coming up though Thursday, Cotton Bowl Houston, Texas,
and it's been a while since they've actually played each
other two thousand and nine Fiesta Bowl, last time they
(03:28):
hooked up. And ironically they're going to open up the
twenty twenty five season in Columbus, So again you're gonna
get that game Thursday. Then you're gonna see Texas at
Ohio State August the thirtieth to start the season, and
then Penn State Notre Dame again the Irish. They have
not won it all since nineteen eighty eight, so it's
been a while from that perspective. And for Penn State,
(03:50):
James Franklin always had the problem about, hey can't win
the big game. Well, he's won two college football playoff games,
so something's got to give on that front. And those
two have not hooked up in the postseason since the
nineteen seventy seven Gator Bowl.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
So a lot of blue blood.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
It's still left.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You start talking about Ohio State, Texas, Penn State, Notre Dame.
That's about as blue blood as it can possibly get
if you're not going to a ton of SEC teams.
And keep in mind, Texas is an SEC team, Johnny,
But even the SEC fans are like, well, yeah, but
you know, they've only been in the league for like
five six months, so it's been kind of a crazy
offseason from that perspective. But I'll see what happens beginning
(04:28):
Thursday again, five awesome days of football coming our way.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
And then back just right quick. I just want to
get your thoughts to the top. Number four seeds all lost?
Did all those have a buy? Is that the deal?
Can you read something of that?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah? No, Well, I mean a lot of folks I
think listen, I think the smart people, the power people
in college football. You got to go through this twelve
teen thing one year and say, okay, where do we
tweak it?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
And you know, to see Boise State in the Arizona States,
if you will conference champs as everybody agree to get
the buy, I sense that you will see them tweak
the four teams that get a bye be the top
four teams, not necessarily conference champions. Again, all five conference
champions the Power leagues, they all lost.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
They all lost.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I mean, so one, two, three, and four sitting on
the couch all teams left from a seating perspective, or five, six, seven.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And eight.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
So again, at the end of the day, you can't
back your way into a championship. A lot of people
complaining by Oregon got a bad deal. Hey listen, they're
the number one seed. You know you're gonna have to
beat good teams to win a national championship. So you know,
it's some of those things.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
You get to play roast Beef, A and M three
straight weeks and go, hey man, we're number one, we
get to doesn't work that way. So I think it's
gonna be great again. The game's Thursday Friday. Then the
NFL takes center stage on the loid card weekend.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
And oh, by the way, Johnny, tonight in the ACC hoops,
the top six.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Teams in the league are going to see each other tonight.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's going to be a duke. Should be a good one.
Pumpson's at Louisville should be a good one. S MU
and Carolina.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
So if you love your little acc basketball, tonight is
a really really good night. So we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Is about time. We'll turn the page, get us some
college biball I pack you the man, buddy, you have
a great week. We'll meet next week and say who's
in the championship game.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Sounds good. Happy New Year to everybody.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
All right, my bother, thank you so much. All right, well,
let's play our game, Beating the Blonde, one eight hundred,
Big show. You told free line. We'll go to contestant.
Play next Good Tuesday morning. It's a big show on
(06:52):
the radio with our feature track from the Big Show.
Bed Box, the mayor of Dicimal Seabach Happy New Rear Festival.
I know verst key word new Rear. It'll all become
too clear. It's a bit box had to make Shore
dot Com click out on their contest money. You can't
get the We might call you.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
We will play be the Blonde. Let's meet a contestant.
Lisa from Athens Ala Alma, Good morning, Lisa, good morning,
Hey maybe welcome. All right, I'm not prying, Lisa, what
color is your head of hair? Of a match up
(07:39):
my girls here. All right, well, Lizy, you get two
bells before two buzzers and you will win and be
gold prize pack.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
All right, all right, all right, well.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Tayter, your cat has an annoying habit of licking your
arms and legs. What should you put in his food
to stop it?
Speaker 7 (08:00):
I think a little arsenic.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Stop a lot of things.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
No, cat, just sprinkle some salt in there. They don't
like salt.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Wow, put salt in your cat's food. Lisa, Do you
agree or disagree?
Speaker 8 (08:18):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Gosh, I agree.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Agree, And that's the thing to do. You have so
look at knowing about gas. I know you're very good with.
Speaker 7 (08:27):
Dogs'll stop looking you.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I remember remember when when Pearl would lick Joe. We
was all watching that.
Speaker 7 (08:33):
Well that that's random for those who don't know who
these people are.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah. Pearl is my dog, by
the way, and Joe is my buddy.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
So that's what it was. The It is the most
disgusting thing to be witnessed.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I have to say. It does not bother Joe and all.
I mean just just over the holidays when we got
back from hunting, you know, Joe hung out was watching
some football when we got back in and Pearl went
right over there and startling at all.
Speaker 7 (09:00):
Hey, Joe, I meanither long licks. It's just like forever
twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I think maybe old Butler's salty natural natural salty.
Speaker 7 (09:09):
And then you need to start sling food.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
There is there is a way for you to find
out last birl. All right, all right, oh Butler, I
was tying to call him a butt cicle, but that
doesn't sound any better. All right, well let's move on then, Lisa,
you got you one bell? Good start?
Speaker 5 (09:30):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
In the movie The Cowboys, John Wayne is forced to
use boys as cattle herders. What happened to all of
the men?
Speaker 7 (09:42):
I wish I had a dollar for every.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Time I've asked that question. What happened.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
In this movie? They were all killed by Indians.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
They were killed. The men were killed. Lisa, agree or disagree?
Speaker 9 (10:01):
I agree?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
And oh no, they ran off, they ran off looking
for gold.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Oh, Tennesse fat boy would have come in hand. He
knows every John Wayne movie. Yeah, and there's one that
he doesn't like because John Wayne died in the end,
and it might have been this one. You think it
was the Cowboys. It wasn't there was a little Oh
my dad was really ticked off. Yes, it was fat Boy.
All right, okay, well until my buddies worked in the
(10:32):
last two questions. I liked this relevant. It was the
Cowboys bear. All right, Yeah, that's what bear from the
booth so the movie. All right, Well here we go,
let's jump in here. Gonna win it or lose it?
Right here, Lisa Tater. According to insurance statistics, does having
(10:53):
a lot of money really mean that you'll probably live longer?
Speaker 7 (10:58):
I know, not having money makes life seem a lot longer.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It seems a lot longer.
Speaker 10 (11:04):
But yes, yes, statistics show that you'll probably live longer
with more money.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
All right, Lisa, agree or disagree?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
Oh gosh, I'll try agreeing.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
And yes, far the way to look at you. Two
bonds generally, by the way, about five years longer. Well
when you cut them off at the end your head right, well, yeah,
(11:37):
you get closer to him, Lisa, Baby, if you hold on, Jack,
you'll hook you up with a big old prize pipe to.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Go, girl, all right, great, thank you?
Speaker 5 (11:47):
All right?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Why would jump out cut you up on your news?
Right on on the side. Tuesday morning, I've got one woman.
Open up the tom captains.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
H m hm.
Speaker 11 (12:33):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 8 (12:49):
Man.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Hello's heart, ah my mine, I want to fight about it?
John boyd Belly here, you tell me that they can't?
Speaker 6 (13:00):
You get ready for to have a shirt made for me?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Well we'll try. What what do you wanted to say?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
I wanted to say, if I or not, he is
gonna turn out like this? How to quit less than
to him in nineteen fifty five?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
How's he going, buddy? No, that's what's the matter.
Speaker 6 (13:18):
The prodigal has returned.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
H Delbert's daddy's moved back here with y'all.
Speaker 6 (13:22):
Yeah, and the messus has split again, and it looks
like this time it's permanent.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Oh I thought they got back together.
Speaker 6 (13:29):
Well, they dead, but didn't last. She's been running around
on him again.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Oh man, that's time he got her.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
To admit it.
Speaker 8 (13:35):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
He come home one afternoon and said, honey, man, the
boys at work was talking, we think that new Ups
delivery man has slept with every woman on our street,
but won. And she said, you know, I bet it's
that snotty missus Johnson.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
That was the last straw. Yeah, wife moving back into
man oh man, wife number six.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
Yeah, he's turn of getting married. I guess time he's
just gonna find a woman he don't like and buy
her a house.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, what's up to all?
Speaker 6 (14:08):
Friend has asked him to watch his cat while he
was out of town. He's been cat sitting all. We
called the check in, yesa he says, Devord, how's my cat?
And dev says, well, the cat got runned over by
a car and she died. Oh fellow in all the pieces,
and he got mad. He said, you durned full, aren't
you know? You don't just burnt something my cat out
(14:28):
all once you got a prepare man for a piece
of bad news like that. When I say how's my cat,
first you say, well, she's climbed up on the roof
and we can't get her down. And then when I
call the next day and say how's the cat, you say, well,
we got the fire department to come get her down,
but she got scared and run out in the road
(14:49):
and got hit by a car. Now they took her
to the vet. We think she's gonna be all right.
And then the next day when I call I say,
how's the cat, and you're supposed to say something like, well,
she took a sudden turn for the worst last night
and she died. I'm real sorry. Say that way, I'd
be mentally ready for the bad news.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, yeah, that makes anyway.
Speaker 6 (15:08):
You go over and look in on Grandma like I
asked you to. Never says yeah, he says is. She
never says, well, she's climbed up on the roof and
we can't get.
Speaker 8 (15:20):
That was.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Oh he's a quick learner. Right here, Me and Henry
Kissinger's got to run to the grocery store. Got another
mouth to feend, now you know? Yeah, well you tell him.
I said, you know what you mean? Y'all came straight
up her.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Shawn, Boy and Billy, you not go in there.
Speaker 12 (15:47):
WHOA good morning, yelled dumb right.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
He morning.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
This will make Sean already you're gonna do your Tuesday,
January seventh feature trying to make show bid Box mayor
dismal Seaples, get you some merwin Q fiddle swoop and
right now, Les Zach.
Speaker 13 (16:34):
Hello friends, your old pal bird Fern here with another
diaper filling edition of John, Bully and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Today's episode the New Year's lecture.
Speaker 13 (16:44):
As our story opens, a very drunk man is being
approached by a police officer a New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Let me ride that donkey, donkey, Let me ride that donkey.
Don't you let me ride that donkey donkey?
Speaker 7 (16:56):
Excuse me, sir, I'm Officer Moran from the pad.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Please, please, please, sir?
Speaker 7 (17:05):
Could you please stop singing?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Hello?
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Miss lady?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Do you prefer another tune?
Speaker 8 (17:13):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (17:13):
Well, sir, have you been drinking?
Speaker 14 (17:15):
No, I'm taking your break to bust out these jams?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Care for a show tune? Popular? You're gotta be populer, sir.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
I'm going to ask you to take a field sobriety test.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Why is there? Is there something wrong with your eyes?
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Sir?
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Sir, you have the right to remain silentbla Are you.
Speaker 8 (17:37):
Yes? Sir?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (17:38):
I get it, I get it. It's New Year's Eve,
you've had a few cocktails.
Speaker 10 (17:41):
I can't let you wander the streets belting out whatever
song comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Do what baby? When I met you, there was peace
on No.
Speaker 7 (17:50):
Okay, please put your hands behind your back, sir.
Speaker 14 (17:53):
By the handmaid tool of the State. For your information,
I have a professor. Really, yes, really see I still
got my hair. It's Waltz button on my lapel.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, that's aged well, And I'm on my way to
a lecture.
Speaker 10 (18:11):
You are at eleven thirty PM already running late, sir, Sir,
who in the world gives a lecture at this time
of the night.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
My wife, son of.
Speaker 13 (18:20):
A and how we hope you enjoyed John Bully and
Billy playhouse.
Speaker 14 (18:31):
If if I give you ten dollars, would would you
frisk me?
Speaker 7 (18:35):
Make it twenty oo?
Speaker 13 (18:37):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the professor's loud
and sober wife say.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 7 (18:43):
You know this one?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Yeah yeah yeah yah yah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Still another pass back for you lesson thirty minutes from
right now. Ya. It's a big yell letting somebody better
tamm it than me. Tell you with me all.
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Right time by the big show that stuff picking him
up at you?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Whoa, it's you, Marcel. What am I doing well?
Speaker 9 (19:09):
When I'm not hanging up on racing fat boying trying
to cure beds of her terminal blondness, I'm listening to
my two favorite straight white Southern boys, John Boy and
Billie and the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Oh Marcel, just stop.
Speaker 9 (19:22):
No, I won't tell Randy you said hello, good morning.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Anna's showing the radio road until you Tuesday. What my
wonderful thing is numbered here? Oh, number one hundred and
twenty eight. It's a brand new waffle house ball cabin,
embroidered logoing, a cameo bill who you can't hide money
you can have it is. You're naming a hat when
(20:22):
you go to the Big Show dot com the waffle
House hat A man, just a heads up. Gonna be
playing wordy Word in a few minutes for an as
storming of small batch handcooked peanuts from bird Tea County Peanuts,
a Southern tradition for over one hundred years. Tickle to death.
Got with our boys from bird Tea County over the
holidays and get you some year round. All right there,
(20:47):
that's Liz on the final line. We got a lot
to do. Let's get to it. Big Show rolls home.
Good morning, Big Show's ONLO radio. Coming up. We play
wordy word for a bird Tea County Peanut's prize pack.
Told you about bird Tea County peanuts Eastern North Carolina
Southern tradition for over one hundred years. We want you
to snack smarter in twenty twenty five. Peanuts high in protein,
(21:11):
heart healthy. It can help lower your cholesterol gold nuts
at snack time. If you enter Coach JB. B at
check out, you will get twenty five percent off. Let's
free shipping when you shop online at bird Tea County
Peanuts dot net. We got to link all set up
at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
He's at pleasy go get you some.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
We'll play for in minutes. All right, hey man, as
looking on my farmer's almanac, do you know how we
always talk about us asking you about the wooly worms?
You know how you can predict if we're gonna have
a harsh winter? Uh so, twenty signs of a hard winter.
I ran across this. See if you heard of these
thicker than normal corn husk woodpeckers sharing a tree. I
(21:55):
didn't know wood peckers would like just claim a tree
with those saying, all right on them, chase each other.
You gotta you gotta get warm. No, never mind, you
might be putting a little more in this than you should.
What about the early arrival of the snowy owl?
Speaker 4 (22:13):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
And reading these it looks like people used to spend
a whole lot more time outdoors we do today. How
about the early departure of geese and ducks, So you
just got to be at the right place where they landed.
That's what I'm telling you all about. Over the holiday
man bamboo, early migration of the monarch butterfly predicts a
(22:37):
hard winner. Okay, we have to look up and see
what color that is. It was yellow. I'm all over it. Okay.
Thick hair on the nape of the cow's neck.
Speaker 7 (22:49):
You were going there?
Speaker 9 (22:49):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (22:50):
Yeah, how is that john boy cow cow cow?
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Boo boo boo, right to come up and fill their nape?
Heavy and numerous falls exactly is the name during hougus
is on the bag of the neck. Oh okay, you've
you've got one too. Put your head over you want
to fill my grass? They're carrying the name heavy and
numerous fogs during August. Raccoons with thick tails and bright bands.
(23:19):
All right, mice eating ravenousness into the hole. Ravenous newly
early rival of crickets on the hearth. What so crickets
in your place? Well, you know, I'm how much you
get for going outside? So much they're coming through the door.
I don't know how farmers all of that been laid
(23:40):
around pigs gathering sticks a hard winter? Well it is farmers.
Oh you go like there randall spiders spinning larger than
usual webs and entering the house in great numbers. Okay,
how did you like that big old writing banana spider
(24:01):
picture I sent you? That was Oh? Thanks for reminding me.
I still need to give anything. Early seclusion of bees
within the hive. We're looking at signs of a hard winter.
Insects marching in a line rather than meandering. Hey, we
(24:23):
got a hard winter. That's awesome. Early seclusion of bees
are the head that an unusual abundance of acorns? We
had a lot of acorns in the woods.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
See here muskrats wearing holes high on the river bank.
You know you need taking muskrats were upon it. See
how high the hornet's nest twill tell how high the
snow will rest. I haven't found one of these I
(24:58):
can relate.
Speaker 7 (24:59):
To little faith.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Here's the wooly bear caterpillar. Narrow orange band in the
middle predicts heavy snow. Fat and fuzzy caterpillars makes a
bitter cold. You're gonna be gonna be cold.
Speaker 7 (25:16):
Hard part is keeping one from last year. That's the hard.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
My only two left will be hard to win. If
you all been paying attention now, most weren't. These squirrel
gathers nuts early to fortify against a hard winter. Well
we learned that as kids. Squirrel running around gather nuts.
The other lazy ones say, eh, no, I got dumb.
I'll hang around here, waits the nuts?
Speaker 5 (25:36):
You got enough?
Speaker 7 (25:36):
I think that was a Warner Brother cartoon.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Muggy right, I think I'm right.
Speaker 15 (25:40):
I get those confusedly, and finally, frequent halos or rings
around the sun or moon, forecast, numerous snowfall.
Speaker 7 (25:51):
Just my cataracts. I don't know what you've got.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Look at you when uh uh you all get outside
of heart moving around. I'm okay, we got heat in
the house.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Well, let's use some words that'll be fun on our
wordy word game for the bird Tea County Peanuts Prize
Bag one eight hundred big show you told free Light.
We'll get a couple contestants and play next.
Speaker 16 (26:15):
Thanks Barber, John Boy, good morning.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
That's a big show on the radio for your Tuesday,
January is seventh beat. Your track from the Big Show
bit box is Mayor disnel Sea bitch Happy, New Rear Festival,
New Rear keyword and we're not surprised at all. Tug
it out at the Big Show dot com. Right now,
(27:06):
let's play I went everybody's head about the bed A word,
A word, the word. Let's meet up contestants. Jeff from Abington, Virginia.
Good morning, Jeff, Good morning, Joe, Morning through everybody, and
let's say hey to Kirby out of Canton, Mississippi. Good morning, Kirby,
(27:26):
morning Joa, good morning, Kirby. That's Jeff from Virginia. Jeff,
there's Curby down Mississippi. Y'all sit here and come out wording.
Have y'all here. Let's uh me and Jeff on one side,
Tater and Kirby on the other. Right, here we go,
Me and Jeff for the first thirty seconds. All right,
(27:49):
you ready, jem, I'm ready, brother. All right, let's see
what we can do. Start the clock. Now, what do
you call the migrants that come here? What would you
call them? They're not good, they're not with the law,
they're what blank aliens? Yes, uh huh, all right, this
is a bad bar, also a marijuana cigarette. Yeah, uh huh.
(28:12):
The opposite of right is yeah, uh huh. You put
your money in a combination.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Yes, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Get on the school blank, go to school. You gotta
catch theF that a boy. Yes, you gotta jam everyone
I put out there, you put it back and that
was a five on the board. Good work, now, Tater
and Kirby. That's onsided, Kirby, are you ready? Brand new
word and go all right?
Speaker 7 (28:45):
You scratch? You have a mosquito?
Speaker 8 (28:46):
What no?
Speaker 7 (28:49):
What mosquito?
Speaker 11 (28:50):
What?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (28:52):
Rhymes with it? By clothes, they're not loose, they are what.
Speaker 8 (28:57):
No?
Speaker 7 (28:59):
Yessch rhymes with it.
Speaker 10 (29:01):
Look I got into a fist blank huh rhymes with it.
You get on the airpane plane and take a what
time is your blank?
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (29:12):
Rise with it?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
All right, let me say what y'all need? You put
up four on the board. So Jeff leading by one still,
anybody's game going in around two? People will be all right, Jeff,
are you ready?
Speaker 13 (29:32):
Let's ready?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Here we go start the clock.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
These guys would joust on horseback in the olden times.
They watch Yeah, yeah, okay, how tall are you? That
is your rhymes with yes, rhymes with it, go fly.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
A all right.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, rhymes with it. The opposite of day is right,
rhymes with the opposite of left. Rhymes with it. It
is out of I can't see it, it's out yeah,
right kidding, all right. We got in the run right there,
and Jim put a six on the five and eleven score.
(30:16):
So Kirby and Tayter, y'all throw seven on the board.
And you have done that before, mars they don't not
like you can't.
Speaker 7 (30:23):
Yeah, we're done ring, so that's possible.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Kirby, Are you ready, buddy, Ready Kirby, Yeah, yeah, ready,
word not rhyming.
Speaker 10 (30:33):
Ready go the opposite of a cloudy day?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yes, uh.
Speaker 7 (30:38):
This is what a girl that's like just tells you
what to do all the time. She's so blank. Ye
uh you you sing out of blank, kerk sing out
no what you need to carry? You can't carry one?
Rise with it?
Speaker 10 (30:53):
You do this to a tree when you cut it back,
or it's a it's it's it's a plumb that's shriveled up.
Speaker 7 (31:01):
It's called a crew. Yes, rise of it's sand blank,
it's a hill.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Oh that was a four on the flour A good score.
Jeff weinds eleven. Hey, I like Kirby. He can finished
out carry a tune and he's tune in a bucket. Yeah,
I like you, well, Kirby down and cat and Buddy
(31:28):
you can try again anytime. We should appreciate you playing
with us this morning.
Speaker 5 (31:32):
My man.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
All right, thank you all right, buddy, Jeff up and Avington.
You've got your big old birtea kind of prize back
for you. Victory. Congrats to you, my boy. Hey, thanks
for all y'all do for the mentors.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
I started to listen y'all when I work for scow
batt Racing back in ninety six.
Speaker 8 (31:49):
Been listening to you ever since.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Awesome man, awesome, Well proud to have you still on
with us that Jeff, Thank you, buddy, You hang on Jack,
you hook you up all right?
Speaker 8 (31:59):
Brother?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Thanks here. Yeah, morning got the big show on the radio.
How bad old Jim back got the epicenter of racing Charlotte,
North Carolina back in the night is when we said
you can't do that. There's country music. Watches do this there,
Jeff Navin, where do you go there, buddy, he says,
cold minute, don't harry again. Yea Burt Riddle hair hide
(32:21):
on that car. Awesome buddy. All right, then, well let's
move on here. We got a bit request coming out
of Greenville, Tennessee. Mister Ron Hensley says, play Marvin Wester
are doing the difference between TV cops and real cops.
Good one, Rod, we get it for you.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Next.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Good morning. This will make sewing the radio. We're gonna
do your Tuesday morning. Something you heard on the big shows, say, Man,
I like to hear that again. Just figure a couple
of words out of it. Our girl Tater does wonders,
wonders what they're talking about. Ladies tunes say this is
the Jobo one b the Facebook page A big way
(33:23):
to do that, Like Ron Hensley had a Greenville, Tennessee.
They go, you request, Ron, Yo, what's up?
Speaker 4 (33:30):
How y'all doing?
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Man?
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Man?
Speaker 17 (33:31):
Welcome to Marvin Webster's movie is one oh one. This
is part of the show where we explain the difference
between movie reality and actual reality. Today's topic is the
police department. In real life, when a dude is a
new cop, they always team him up with somebody so
he can learn the ropes.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
But did you ever notice in.
Speaker 17 (33:51):
The movies new cop always get hooked up with somebody
that's the exact opposite of whatever he is. You know,
if he's by the book, they put him with one
of them wild it's always breaking the rules. If he's young,
they put him with an old dude. If he's tall,
they put him with a short dude. If Mark Furman
was a movie cop, his partner would be some big
Muslim dude named mumar Abadadi.
Speaker 5 (34:12):
You know.
Speaker 17 (34:14):
Now, a real cop got to be careful when he's
chasing the crook because you don't want no bystanders to
get hurt. Right, But you ain't really a good movie
cop til you would like blow something up right in
the middle of downtown during rush out. And the more
damage you do, the more cars it gets smashed, the
better cop you are. But don't worry about getting in
no trouble because see, a good movie cop is always
(34:35):
just one butchering away from getting fired.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
You know, the boss is always.
Speaker 17 (34:39):
Some sweaty dude got his sleeves rolled up, talking about
I'm warning.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
You kind of hand.
Speaker 17 (34:43):
One more stunt like that, you're gonna be pushing papers
at the DMB.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Now.
Speaker 17 (34:48):
See, in real life, if the boss is always yelling
at you it means you suck at your job, and
the movies it just means you like taking.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Care of business.
Speaker 17 (34:57):
People always be making jokes about cops hanging out at
the donut shop. See a movie cop ain't got no
time for donuts. He got to be where the action is.
And of course that means he's got a head for
you know, the strip club. That's right, no matter what
kind of crime it is, movie cop don't never crack
the case with at least one trip to.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
The strip club.
Speaker 17 (35:16):
Now the Pope could get killed inside the Vatican, he
would still have to go to the strip club to
crack the cake. Of course, in the movies, a cop
don't really get going on the case until the boss
comes in and kicks him.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
Off of it. You know, he'd be like, that's it,
you off the case.
Speaker 17 (35:31):
See that's good new See in real life that would
be bad, But for the movie cop, that's good because
that's when he comes up with all the good clues,
is right after he gets off the case. And if
you really want to get on the fast track, just
get him to kick you out the police altogether, because
soon as the boss makes you give up your gun
and your badge, looks like you about twenty minutes from
cracking the cake. Don't be standing there hanging your head.
(35:54):
Give him the gun, give me your badge, get on
over to the strip club. This is good tomorrow now.
If a man is getting his butt kicked in a fight,
he'll be like grunting and groaning and stuff. Right, movie
cop will take a beating, don't make a sound, at
least not till later when his girlfriend comes over and
takes off his shirt and starts trying.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
To clean him up.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Then all of a sudden, he's in a world of
PENSI you know what I mean.
Speaker 17 (36:18):
Like Goldberg was beating the skuy's butt with a tie
toool for fifteen minutes.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
He didn't say nothing.
Speaker 17 (36:22):
Ninety pound woman come at him with a cotton ball
with some bactine on it, all of a sudden, our
hours and a real life cop can find his life
in danger at any minute. But you know, the most
dangerous term for a movie cop is about two weeks
before retirement. You know, he got thirty years on the force,
(36:43):
not a scratch on him. He'd be sitting in the
car talking to his partner about what he gonna do
when he retires. As soon as he pulls out that
picture of his grandkids.
Speaker 4 (36:51):
That's it.
Speaker 17 (36:52):
He gonna be dead within fifteen minutes. And they's speaking
of dead.
Speaker 5 (36:56):
You know.
Speaker 17 (36:56):
In real life, when a cop will shoot somebody, usually
pretty much yet, right, But a movie cop, everyone's got
to kill somebody five or six.
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Times before they stay dead.
Speaker 8 (37:07):
You know.
Speaker 17 (37:07):
It's like, hey, wait a minute, don't be putting your
gun up. No, the dude gonna be right back in
your face again about thirty seconds. See here come, shoot
him again, right between the eyes.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
There you go.
Speaker 17 (37:17):
Now, wait, don't be hugging your girlfriend yet.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
So see here comes again.
Speaker 17 (37:21):
Yeah, that's him carrying his head under his arm. Yeah,
shoot him again. Hey, let your girlfriend shoot him one
time too.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
Oh there you go. Now he's dead. All right.
Speaker 17 (37:33):
I hope we helped you out here, y'all think about it.
I'm Marvin Webbs.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Good morning. It's a big show on the radio. You
would like to have the mayor dismal See Pitch You
John won't be the album keyword, but this is new career.
Don't give it away. Well, there's always something exciting happening
in dismal Sea. Pitch, South Carolina, twenty eighteen, was a
(38:22):
banner year, and I'm sure they'll top themselves in twenty nineteen.
You're gonna tell us all about it, the Honorable Mayor
Merwin Coop Fiddleswoop, Good morning, mister Mayor.
Speaker 8 (38:32):
Good morning John Boy and Billy and all the big
show gang. Well, twenty eighteen is thankfully behind us now
and we dismal seepageons are focused on the future, especially
after the big Christmas chaos festival.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Ah, how'd that go chaotic?
Speaker 8 (38:49):
Apparently you weren't listening. It was one disaster after another.
The worst part was the Living Christmas Tree.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Ah, cool, you did the Living Christmas Tree.
Speaker 8 (39:00):
That's not what you think. The kids from the College
Science department were experimenting with DNA and actually brought one
to life and was terrified. It ate several squirrels that
tried to climb its branches and it was hurling ornaments
and citizens. The worst part was when that tried to
mate with the furs in the part Poor No, not
(39:21):
the fur family, Sandy and Louise. It had good taste, though,
that missus fur. She is one hot potato brother.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
What how did you stop it?
Speaker 8 (39:35):
Well, it was pretty dry, so he just threw a
lit match and went up like a tinder box. It
was really something. The kids were traumatized by the entire scene,
especially when the tree started screaming. Well, that's all ancient
history now, john boy, what we've got coming up, we'll
make everyone forget about it. I'm proud to announce the
(39:56):
first annual Dismal Seepage, Happy New Rear Festival, Happy New Rear. Well,
it's nice to see you were listening this time. That's right,
John Boy. The Happy New Rear Festival sponsored by the
offices of doctor Danny Porani, Cosmetic surgery Artiste. I don't
get it, you see, John Boy, when the new year
(40:23):
comes resolutions, people want to change themselves, make themselves better,
but they just don't seem to have the self discipline needed.
So affordable plastic surgery is a shortcut. This is a
celebration of renewal of fresh starts, where people can become
the phoenix rising from Arizona or something like. The commercial says,
(40:46):
need a new Fanny called doctor parani Ah. But if
not just booties on display, the entire human body is
doctor Parani's canvas.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Just seems like an odd choice.
Speaker 8 (40:57):
Oh well, there's no seeming about it. It's odd, pretty
damn on it. It was either new happy, new rear
now or pushing back a couple of months and do
new Keaster for Easter.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Well good call Lea though, So what's done tap?
Speaker 8 (41:12):
That's a great looking question, John Boy. Well, on Saturday morning,
we'll have the before and after parade where doctor Parani's
customers march down the street carrying pictures of themselves before
the surgery. Some of those pictures are pretty startling. Mother
Nature has quite a sense.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Of humor, not in funny ha ha funny weird bingo.
Speaker 8 (41:35):
And we're not letting the cold weather put a chill
in the festivities. We've got a wet tea sweater contest
for all the ladies.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Wet sweater.
Speaker 8 (41:43):
Well, it's January, John Boy. And if this crew gets
a chess cold, it could be fatal. And there's a
big cash prize to whoever can guess which ones are
real and which ones aren't.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Sign up.
Speaker 8 (41:54):
Yeah, I figured there will be. There will be an
art show with some original sculptures made of how shall
I put it? Leftovers?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Leftovers, you know.
Speaker 8 (42:06):
The scraps from cosmetic surgeries. They have a one half
scale batmobile made from those jobs.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
You're kidding?
Speaker 8 (42:13):
Oh, I wish I was. We even have to keep
it indoors during the cold weather because God forbid, it
gets a runny nose.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Well, that's the grossest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 8 (42:23):
Hold my beer, John Boy. Be sure to attend the
Big Butter Churning sponsored by Chuck Sucket Liposuction Botique.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
Well wait a second, is this a real butter churning
or are you using liposumption fat?
Speaker 8 (42:40):
Well, let's just say they sell it under the label
of I can't believe it's not buttocks. Long way to
go for that stop off at the stop off at
the food Bazaar for some hot cross buns and surgically
altered chicken breast. You can pucker up at the Botox
Kissing Booth with our special guest, the most botuck lips
(43:02):
in America, Holly Hoover. You have to sign a release
form for that one. And if you're in the moon
for a nice relaxing romp, be sure to stop by
the recycled breast implant ball Crawl. Trust me, it's cozy.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
So what's the grand finale?
Speaker 8 (43:19):
Oh, it's a humdinger, John Boy. We've taken over the
fairgrounds that for the first time ever, two doctors will
compete head to head in the nuts for Butts Live
plastic surgery competition center field, under the lights, regardless of weather.
Doctor Pirani at his art rival doctor Moisha Harpulian will
race to see who could finish their butt lift first.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Is that going to be enough to hold an audience's attention.
Speaker 8 (43:45):
Well, I'm sure the monster trucks racing side by side
around them will add to the suspense.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Guys away a second. They're going to be doing surgery
outside in a non steerile environment while being circled by
speeding two ton monster trucks at camp. Possibly be safe, so.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
Don't get left behind. Come on down to the Big
Dismal Seepitch Happy de Rear Festival this weekend. No ifs,
abs or butts get it? Yeah, not my best finisher.
Hold on.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Bid boxes here all your favorites from four decades and
Big Show.
Speaker 18 (44:24):
Ninety nine says He's fifteen for nine ninety nine by
him once play manywhere shopping blitbox online at the Big
Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Order Big Show shuff I follow.
Speaker 18 (44:32):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one.
Stuff Online services by animeing dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
This any big show today, Don't let that happen. Chusing
up John Obill and Late Rosers. Podcast man Wherever you
get your podcast and make it easy subscribe to us
with a free iHeartRadio app. HI you out here, Rest
your days, you own tomorrow. Love you mane it
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Coming up, we
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(00:24):
all starts at the Big show dot com. That that
has started the first twelve team college football playoff ever.
Our man Mark Packer from the ACC networking the Big
ESPN covering for us, and here we are the brand
new year headed towards some weekend football that matters that pack.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Good morning, Buddy, Yeah, Good morning john Boy. Happy new
year to you and the whole gang all your listeners.
But you're right, the college football Playoff is underway. We
finally got done with the bull season, Johnny. I mean, listen,
I cover the ACC. The ACC went to any eleven
in the bowl game, So I like to fast forward
past that disaster because there wasn't a whole lot of
(01:06):
happiness in the ACC land from that perspective. But nevertheless,
the college football playoffs are legit and we're now down
literally to.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
What we knew it normally had, right four teams.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
And again it's been kind of interesting because really the
conference's always the standard for college football is the SCC,
but they've really struggled in the postseason. And it's true
for none of the college football playoffs but also the
regular bowl games.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
But we're gonna listen, it's gonna be a great five
days of football.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Really starts on Thursday because that's the first semifinal in
the Cotton Bowl. Ohio State takes on Texas. Then on
Friday you got the Orange Bowl at Penn State Notre Dame.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
But it's been bizarre.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But again it's five straight days of great football. You
got Thursday Friday for the college now and then you
get the wild card weekend Saturday, Sunday, Monday. So really
five awesome days of football right Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Coming up at the.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
College Boys take over Thursday and Friday with the college
football playoff. But it's been, like I said, bizarre. The
playoffs again, different story. The Big Ten has really been
the story. You got Ohio State and Penn State still
alive from that perspective, so you could potentially have an
all Big Ten national championship game again if that happens,
We've already seen Ohio State and Penn State play during
(02:19):
the regular season. Now Notre Dame, they won their first
major bowl game Johnny in thirty one years.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
They had not won a major ball game since January first,
nineteen ninety four. They go down. They beat Georgia at
the Sugar Bowl.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And again if Dalton prayers who out to Kirby Smart
he lost his dad over the holidays. It's really a
terrible story on that front. But again from a football perspective,
great win for Notre Dame. They move on to take
on Penn State and the Big Ten. Four and one
against the SEC. Got to mention the SEC's really struggled.
Tennessee lost, they got blown out by Ohio State. Georgia's
(02:53):
I just mentioned a double digit loss in Notre Dame.
So a lot of barking going on from the SEC.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
One.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Remember they only talked about man Bama should have been in.
Obama played Michigan, they were favored by like seventeen.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
They got beatn that game. In their bowl game.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
A lot of people say, man, South Carolina, the hottest
team in the SEC. They lost, is a double digit
favorite to Illinois. So again the Big Ten flexing on
the old Southern Fried football. Johnny, We're not used to
that nonsense around the East part. So nevertheless, that's what
we got coming up though Thursday, Cotton Bowl Houston, Texas,
and it's been a while since they've actually played each
other two thousand and nine Fiesta Bowl, last time they
(03:28):
hooked up. And ironically they're going to open up the
twenty twenty five season in Columbus, So again you're gonna
get that game Thursday. Then you're gonna see Texas at
Ohio State August the thirtieth to start the season, and
then Penn State Notre Dame again the Irish. They have
not won it all since nineteen eighty eight, so it's
been a while from that perspective. And for Penn State,
(03:50):
James Franklin always had the problem about, hey can't win
the big game. Well, he's won two college football playoff games,
so something's got to give on that front. And those
two have not hooked up in the postseason since the
nineteen seventy seven Gator Bowl.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
So a lot of blue blood.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
It's still left.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You start talking about Ohio State, Texas, Penn State, Notre Dame.
That's about as blue blood as it can possibly get
if you're not going to a ton of SEC teams.
And keep in mind, Texas is an SEC team, Johnny,
But even the SEC fans are like, well, yeah, but
you know, they've only been in the league for like
five six months, so it's been kind of a crazy
offseason from that perspective. But I'll see what happens beginning
(04:28):
Thursday again, five awesome days of football coming our way.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
And then back just right quick. I just want to
get your thoughts to the top. Number four seeds all lost?
Did all those have a buy? Is that the deal?
Can you read something of that?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah? No, Well, I mean a lot of folks I
think listen, I think the smart people, the power people
in college football. You got to go through this twelve
teen thing one year and say, okay, where do we
tweak it?
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
And you know, to see Boise State in the Arizona States,
if you will conference champs as everybody agree to get
the buy, I sense that you will see them tweak
the four teams that get a bye be the top
four teams, not necessarily conference champions. Again, all five conference
champions the Power leagues, they all lost.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
They all lost.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
I mean, so one, two, three, and four sitting on
the couch all teams left from a seating perspective, or five, six, seven.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
And eight.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
So again, at the end of the day, you can't
back your way into a championship. A lot of people
complaining by Oregon got a bad deal. Hey listen, they're
the number one seed. You know you're gonna have to
beat good teams to win a national championship. So you know,
it's some of those things.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
You get to play roast Beef, A and M three
straight weeks and go, hey man, we're number one, we
get to doesn't work that way. So I think it's
gonna be great again. The game's Thursday Friday. Then the
NFL takes center stage on the loid card weekend.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
And oh, by the way, Johnny, tonight in the ACC hoops,
the top six.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Teams in the league are going to see each other tonight.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
It's going to be a duke. Should be a good one.
Pumpson's at Louisville should be a good one. S MU
and Carolina.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
So if you love your little acc basketball, tonight is
a really really good night. So we'll see what happens.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Is about time. We'll turn the page, get us some
college biball I pack you the man, buddy, you have
a great week. We'll meet next week and say who's
in the championship game.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Sounds good. Happy New Year to everybody.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
All right, my bother, thank you so much. All right, well,
let's play our game, Beating the Blonde, one eight hundred,
Big show. You told free line. We'll go to contestant.
Play next Good Tuesday morning. It's a big show on
(06:52):
the radio with our feature track from the Big Show.
Bed Box, the mayor of Dicimal Seabach Happy New Rear Festival.
I know verst key word new Rear. It'll all become
too clear. It's a bit box had to make Shore
dot Com click out on their contest money. You can't
get the We might call you.
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
We will play be the Blonde. Let's meet a contestant.
Lisa from Athens Ala Alma, Good morning, Lisa, good morning,
Hey maybe welcome. All right, I'm not prying, Lisa, what
color is your head of hair? Of a match up
(07:39):
my girls here. All right, well, Lizy, you get two
bells before two buzzers and you will win and be
gold prize pack.
Speaker 6 (07:47):
All right, all right, all right, well.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Tayter, your cat has an annoying habit of licking your
arms and legs. What should you put in his food
to stop it?
Speaker 7 (08:00):
I think a little arsenic.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Stop a lot of things.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
No, cat, just sprinkle some salt in there. They don't
like salt.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Wow, put salt in your cat's food. Lisa, Do you
agree or disagree?
Speaker 8 (08:18):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Gosh, I agree.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Agree, And that's the thing to do. You have so
look at knowing about gas. I know you're very good with.
Speaker 7 (08:27):
Dogs'll stop looking you.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I remember remember when when Pearl would lick Joe. We
was all watching that.
Speaker 7 (08:33):
Well that that's random for those who don't know who
these people are.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah. Pearl is my dog, by
the way, and Joe is my buddy.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
So that's what it was. The It is the most
disgusting thing to be witnessed.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I have to say. It does not bother Joe and all.
I mean just just over the holidays when we got
back from hunting, you know, Joe hung out was watching
some football when we got back in and Pearl went
right over there and startling at all.
Speaker 7 (09:00):
Hey, Joe, I meanither long licks. It's just like forever
twenty minutes.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I think maybe old Butler's salty natural natural salty.
Speaker 7 (09:09):
And then you need to start sling food.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
There is there is a way for you to find
out last birl. All right, all right, oh Butler, I
was tying to call him a butt cicle, but that
doesn't sound any better. All right, well let's move on then, Lisa,
you got you one bell? Good start?
Speaker 5 (09:30):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
In the movie The Cowboys, John Wayne is forced to
use boys as cattle herders. What happened to all of
the men?
Speaker 7 (09:42):
I wish I had a dollar for every.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Time I've asked that question. What happened.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
In this movie? They were all killed by Indians.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
They were killed. The men were killed. Lisa, agree or disagree?
Speaker 9 (10:01):
I agree?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
And oh no, they ran off, they ran off looking
for gold.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Oh, Tennesse fat boy would have come in hand. He
knows every John Wayne movie. Yeah, and there's one that
he doesn't like because John Wayne died in the end,
and it might have been this one. You think it
was the Cowboys. It wasn't there was a little Oh
my dad was really ticked off. Yes, it was fat Boy.
All right, okay, well until my buddies worked in the
(10:32):
last two questions. I liked this relevant. It was the
Cowboys bear. All right, Yeah, that's what bear from the
booth so the movie. All right, Well here we go,
let's jump in here. Gonna win it or lose it?
Right here, Lisa Tater. According to insurance statistics, does having
(10:53):
a lot of money really mean that you'll probably live longer?
Speaker 7 (10:58):
I know, not having money makes life seem a lot longer.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It seems a lot longer.
Speaker 10 (11:04):
But yes, yes, statistics show that you'll probably live longer
with more money.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
All right, Lisa, agree or disagree?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
Oh gosh, I'll try agreeing.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
And yes, far the way to look at you. Two
bonds generally, by the way, about five years longer. Well
when you cut them off at the end your head right, well, yeah,
(11:37):
you get closer to him, Lisa, Baby, if you hold on, Jack,
you'll hook you up with a big old prize pipe to.
Speaker 7 (11:45):
Go, girl, all right, great, thank you?
Speaker 5 (11:47):
All right?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Why would jump out cut you up on your news?
Right on on the side. Tuesday morning, I've got one woman.
Open up the tom captains.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
H m hm.
Speaker 11 (12:33):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 8 (12:49):
Man.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Hello's heart, ah my mine, I want to fight about it?
John boyd Belly here, you tell me that they can't?
Speaker 6 (13:00):
You get ready for to have a shirt made for me?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Well we'll try. What what do you wanted to say?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
I wanted to say, if I or not, he is
gonna turn out like this? How to quit less than
to him in nineteen fifty five?
Speaker 1 (13:13):
How's he going, buddy? No, that's what's the matter.
Speaker 6 (13:18):
The prodigal has returned.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
H Delbert's daddy's moved back here with y'all.
Speaker 6 (13:22):
Yeah, and the messus has split again, and it looks
like this time it's permanent.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Oh I thought they got back together.
Speaker 6 (13:29):
Well, they dead, but didn't last. She's been running around
on him again.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Oh man, that's time he got her.
Speaker 6 (13:34):
To admit it.
Speaker 8 (13:35):
Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6 (13:36):
He come home one afternoon and said, honey, man, the
boys at work was talking, we think that new Ups
delivery man has slept with every woman on our street,
but won. And she said, you know, I bet it's
that snotty missus Johnson.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
That was the last straw. Yeah, wife moving back into
man oh man, wife number six.
Speaker 6 (13:59):
Yeah, he's turn of getting married. I guess time he's
just gonna find a woman he don't like and buy
her a house.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, what's up to all?
Speaker 6 (14:08):
Friend has asked him to watch his cat while he
was out of town. He's been cat sitting all. We
called the check in, yesa he says, Devord, how's my cat?
And dev says, well, the cat got runned over by
a car and she died. Oh fellow in all the pieces,
and he got mad. He said, you durned full, aren't
you know? You don't just burnt something my cat out
(14:28):
all once you got a prepare man for a piece
of bad news like that. When I say how's my cat,
first you say, well, she's climbed up on the roof
and we can't get her down. And then when I
call the next day and say how's the cat, you say, well,
we got the fire department to come get her down,
but she got scared and run out in the road
(14:49):
and got hit by a car. Now they took her
to the vet. We think she's gonna be all right.
And then the next day when I call I say,
how's the cat, and you're supposed to say something like, well,
she took a sudden turn for the worst last night
and she died. I'm real sorry. Say that way, I'd
be mentally ready for the bad news.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, yeah, that makes anyway.
Speaker 6 (15:08):
You go over and look in on Grandma like I
asked you to. Never says yeah, he says is. She
never says, well, she's climbed up on the roof and
we can't get.
Speaker 8 (15:20):
That was.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
Oh he's a quick learner. Right here, Me and Henry
Kissinger's got to run to the grocery store. Got another
mouth to feend, now you know? Yeah, well you tell him.
I said, you know what you mean? Y'all came straight
up her.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Shawn, Boy and Billy, you not go in there.
Speaker 12 (15:47):
WHOA good morning, yelled dumb right.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
He morning.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
This will make Sean already you're gonna do your Tuesday,
January seventh feature trying to make show bid Box mayor
dismal Seaples, get you some merwin Q fiddle swoop and
right now, Les Zach.
Speaker 13 (16:34):
Hello friends, your old pal bird Fern here with another
diaper filling edition of John, Bully and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Today's episode the New Year's lecture.
Speaker 13 (16:44):
As our story opens, a very drunk man is being
approached by a police officer a New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Let me ride that donkey, donkey, Let me ride that donkey.
Don't you let me ride that donkey donkey?
Speaker 7 (16:56):
Excuse me, sir, I'm Officer Moran from the pad.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Please, please, please, sir?
Speaker 7 (17:05):
Could you please stop singing?
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Hello?
Speaker 5 (17:09):
Miss lady?
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Do you prefer another tune?
Speaker 8 (17:13):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (17:13):
Well, sir, have you been drinking?
Speaker 14 (17:15):
No, I'm taking your break to bust out these jams?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Care for a show tune? Popular? You're gotta be populer, sir.
Speaker 7 (17:26):
I'm going to ask you to take a field sobriety test.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Why is there? Is there something wrong with your eyes?
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Sir?
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Sir, you have the right to remain silentbla Are you.
Speaker 8 (17:37):
Yes? Sir?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (17:38):
I get it, I get it. It's New Year's Eve,
you've had a few cocktails.
Speaker 10 (17:41):
I can't let you wander the streets belting out whatever
song comes to mind.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Do what baby? When I met you, there was peace
on No.
Speaker 7 (17:50):
Okay, please put your hands behind your back, sir.
Speaker 14 (17:53):
By the handmaid tool of the State. For your information,
I have a professor. Really, yes, really see I still
got my hair. It's Waltz button on my lapel.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, that's aged well, And I'm on my way to
a lecture.
Speaker 10 (18:11):
You are at eleven thirty PM already running late, sir, Sir,
who in the world gives a lecture at this time
of the night.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
My wife, son of.
Speaker 13 (18:20):
A and how we hope you enjoyed John Bully and
Billy playhouse.
Speaker 14 (18:31):
If if I give you ten dollars, would would you
frisk me?
Speaker 7 (18:35):
Make it twenty oo?
Speaker 13 (18:37):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the professor's loud
and sober wife say.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 7 (18:43):
You know this one?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Yeah yeah yeah yah yah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Still another pass back for you lesson thirty minutes from
right now. Ya. It's a big yell letting somebody better
tamm it than me. Tell you with me all.
Speaker 9 (19:01):
Right time by the big show that stuff picking him
up at you?
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Whoa, it's you, Marcel. What am I doing well?
Speaker 9 (19:09):
When I'm not hanging up on racing fat boying trying
to cure beds of her terminal blondness, I'm listening to
my two favorite straight white Southern boys, John Boy and
Billie and the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Oh Marcel, just stop.
Speaker 9 (19:22):
No, I won't tell Randy you said hello, good morning.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Anna's showing the radio road until you Tuesday. What my
wonderful thing is numbered here? Oh, number one hundred and
twenty eight. It's a brand new waffle house ball cabin,
embroidered logoing, a cameo bill who you can't hide money
you can have it is. You're naming a hat when
(20:22):
you go to the Big Show dot com the waffle
House hat A man, just a heads up. Gonna be
playing wordy Word in a few minutes for an as
storming of small batch handcooked peanuts from bird Tea County Peanuts,
a Southern tradition for over one hundred years. Tickle to death.
Got with our boys from bird Tea County over the
holidays and get you some year round. All right there,
(20:47):
that's Liz on the final line. We got a lot
to do. Let's get to it. Big Show rolls home.
Good morning, Big Show's ONLO radio. Coming up. We play
wordy word for a bird Tea County Peanut's prize pack.
Told you about bird Tea County peanuts Eastern North Carolina
Southern tradition for over one hundred years. We want you
to snack smarter in twenty twenty five. Peanuts high in protein,
(21:11):
heart healthy. It can help lower your cholesterol gold nuts
at snack time. If you enter Coach JB. B at
check out, you will get twenty five percent off. Let's
free shipping when you shop online at bird Tea County
Peanuts dot net. We got to link all set up
at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
He's at pleasy go get you some.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
We'll play for in minutes. All right, hey man, as
looking on my farmer's almanac, do you know how we
always talk about us asking you about the wooly worms?
You know how you can predict if we're gonna have
a harsh winter? Uh so, twenty signs of a hard winter.
I ran across this. See if you heard of these
thicker than normal corn husk woodpeckers sharing a tree. I
(21:55):
didn't know wood peckers would like just claim a tree
with those saying, all right on them, chase each other.
You gotta you gotta get warm. No, never mind, you
might be putting a little more in this than you should.
What about the early arrival of the snowy owl?
Speaker 4 (22:13):
You know?
Speaker 1 (22:13):
And reading these it looks like people used to spend
a whole lot more time outdoors we do today. How
about the early departure of geese and ducks, So you
just got to be at the right place where they landed.
That's what I'm telling you all about. Over the holiday
man bamboo, early migration of the monarch butterfly predicts a
(22:37):
hard winner. Okay, we have to look up and see
what color that is. It was yellow. I'm all over it. Okay.
Thick hair on the nape of the cow's neck.
Speaker 7 (22:49):
You were going there?
Speaker 9 (22:49):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (22:50):
Yeah, how is that john boy cow cow cow?
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Boo boo boo, right to come up and fill their nape?
Heavy and numerous falls exactly is the name during hougus
is on the bag of the neck. Oh okay, you've
you've got one too. Put your head over you want
to fill my grass? They're carrying the name heavy and
numerous fogs during August. Raccoons with thick tails and bright bands.
(23:19):
All right, mice eating ravenousness into the hole. Ravenous newly
early rival of crickets on the hearth. What so crickets
in your place? Well, you know, I'm how much you
get for going outside? So much they're coming through the door.
I don't know how farmers all of that been laid
(23:40):
around pigs gathering sticks a hard winter? Well it is farmers.
Oh you go like there randall spiders spinning larger than
usual webs and entering the house in great numbers. Okay,
how did you like that big old writing banana spider
(24:01):
picture I sent you? That was Oh? Thanks for reminding me.
I still need to give anything. Early seclusion of bees
within the hive. We're looking at signs of a hard winter.
Insects marching in a line rather than meandering. Hey, we
(24:23):
got a hard winter. That's awesome. Early seclusion of bees
are the head that an unusual abundance of acorns? We
had a lot of acorns in the woods.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
See here muskrats wearing holes high on the river bank.
You know you need taking muskrats were upon it. See
how high the hornet's nest twill tell how high the
snow will rest. I haven't found one of these I
(24:58):
can relate.
Speaker 7 (24:59):
To little faith.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Here's the wooly bear caterpillar. Narrow orange band in the
middle predicts heavy snow. Fat and fuzzy caterpillars makes a
bitter cold. You're gonna be gonna be cold.
Speaker 7 (25:16):
Hard part is keeping one from last year. That's the hard.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
My only two left will be hard to win. If
you all been paying attention now, most weren't. These squirrel
gathers nuts early to fortify against a hard winter. Well
we learned that as kids. Squirrel running around gather nuts.
The other lazy ones say, eh, no, I got dumb.
I'll hang around here, waits the nuts?
Speaker 5 (25:36):
You got enough?
Speaker 7 (25:36):
I think that was a Warner Brother cartoon.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Muggy right, I think I'm right.
Speaker 15 (25:40):
I get those confusedly, and finally, frequent halos or rings
around the sun or moon, forecast, numerous snowfall.
Speaker 7 (25:51):
Just my cataracts. I don't know what you've got.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Look at you when uh uh you all get outside
of heart moving around. I'm okay, we got heat in
the house.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Well, let's use some words that'll be fun on our
wordy word game for the bird Tea County Peanuts Prize
Bag one eight hundred big show you told free Light.
We'll get a couple contestants and play next.
Speaker 16 (26:15):
Thanks Barber, John Boy, good morning.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
That's a big show on the radio for your Tuesday,
January is seventh beat. Your track from the Big Show
bit box is Mayor disnel Sea bitch Happy, New Rear Festival,
New Rear keyword and we're not surprised at all. Tug
it out at the Big Show dot com. Right now,
(27:06):
let's play I went everybody's head about the bed A word,
A word, the word. Let's meet up contestants. Jeff from Abington, Virginia.
Good morning, Jeff, Good morning, Joe, Morning through everybody, and
let's say hey to Kirby out of Canton, Mississippi. Good morning, Kirby,
(27:26):
morning Joa, good morning, Kirby. That's Jeff from Virginia. Jeff,
there's Curby down Mississippi. Y'all sit here and come out wording.
Have y'all here. Let's uh me and Jeff on one side,
Tater and Kirby on the other. Right, here we go,
Me and Jeff for the first thirty seconds. All right,
(27:49):
you ready, jem, I'm ready, brother. All right, let's see
what we can do. Start the clock. Now, what do
you call the migrants that come here? What would you
call them? They're not good, they're not with the law,
they're what blank aliens? Yes, uh huh, all right, this
is a bad bar, also a marijuana cigarette. Yeah, uh huh.
(28:12):
The opposite of right is yeah, uh huh. You put
your money in a combination.
Speaker 5 (28:21):
Yes, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Get on the school blank, go to school. You gotta
catch theF that a boy. Yes, you gotta jam everyone
I put out there, you put it back and that
was a five on the board. Good work, now, Tater
and Kirby. That's onsided, Kirby, are you ready? Brand new
word and go all right?
Speaker 7 (28:45):
You scratch? You have a mosquito?
Speaker 8 (28:46):
What no?
Speaker 7 (28:49):
What mosquito?
Speaker 11 (28:50):
What?
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (28:52):
Rhymes with it? By clothes, they're not loose, they are what.
Speaker 8 (28:57):
No?
Speaker 7 (28:59):
Yessch rhymes with it.
Speaker 10 (29:01):
Look I got into a fist blank huh rhymes with it.
You get on the airpane plane and take a what
time is your blank?
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (29:12):
Rise with it?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
All right, let me say what y'all need? You put
up four on the board. So Jeff leading by one still,
anybody's game going in around two? People will be all right, Jeff,
are you ready?
Speaker 13 (29:32):
Let's ready?
Speaker 1 (29:33):
Here we go start the clock.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
Now.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
These guys would joust on horseback in the olden times.
They watch Yeah, yeah, okay, how tall are you? That
is your rhymes with yes, rhymes with it, go fly.
Speaker 5 (29:51):
A all right.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, rhymes with it. The opposite of day is right,
rhymes with the opposite of left. Rhymes with it. It
is out of I can't see it, it's out yeah,
right kidding, all right. We got in the run right there,
and Jim put a six on the five and eleven score.
(30:16):
So Kirby and Tayter, y'all throw seven on the board.
And you have done that before, mars they don't not
like you can't.
Speaker 7 (30:23):
Yeah, we're done ring, so that's possible.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Kirby, Are you ready, buddy, Ready Kirby, Yeah, yeah, ready,
word not rhyming.
Speaker 10 (30:33):
Ready go the opposite of a cloudy day?
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Yes, uh.
Speaker 7 (30:38):
This is what a girl that's like just tells you
what to do all the time. She's so blank. Ye
uh you you sing out of blank, kerk sing out
no what you need to carry? You can't carry one?
Rise with it?
Speaker 10 (30:53):
You do this to a tree when you cut it back,
or it's a it's it's it's a plumb that's shriveled up.
Speaker 7 (31:01):
It's called a crew. Yes, rise of it's sand blank,
it's a hill.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Oh that was a four on the flour A good score.
Jeff weinds eleven. Hey, I like Kirby. He can finished
out carry a tune and he's tune in a bucket. Yeah,
I like you, well, Kirby down and cat and Buddy
(31:28):
you can try again anytime. We should appreciate you playing
with us this morning.
Speaker 5 (31:32):
My man.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
All right, thank you all right, buddy, Jeff up and Avington.
You've got your big old birtea kind of prize back
for you. Victory. Congrats to you, my boy. Hey, thanks
for all y'all do for the mentors.
Speaker 6 (31:46):
I started to listen y'all when I work for scow
batt Racing back in ninety six.
Speaker 8 (31:49):
Been listening to you ever since.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Awesome man, awesome, Well proud to have you still on
with us that Jeff, Thank you, buddy, You hang on Jack,
you hook you up all right?
Speaker 8 (31:59):
Brother?
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Thanks here. Yeah, morning got the big show on the radio.
How bad old Jim back got the epicenter of racing Charlotte,
North Carolina back in the night is when we said
you can't do that. There's country music. Watches do this there,
Jeff Navin, where do you go there, buddy, he says,
cold minute, don't harry again. Yea Burt Riddle hair hide
(32:21):
on that car. Awesome buddy. All right, then, well let's
move on here. We got a bit request coming out
of Greenville, Tennessee. Mister Ron Hensley says, play Marvin Wester
are doing the difference between TV cops and real cops.
Good one, Rod, we get it for you.
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Next.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Good morning. This will make sewing the radio. We're gonna
do your Tuesday morning. Something you heard on the big shows, say, Man,
I like to hear that again. Just figure a couple
of words out of it. Our girl Tater does wonders,
wonders what they're talking about. Ladies tunes say this is
the Jobo one b the Facebook page A big way
(33:23):
to do that, Like Ron Hensley had a Greenville, Tennessee.
They go, you request, Ron, Yo, what's up?
Speaker 4 (33:30):
How y'all doing?
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Man?
Speaker 4 (33:31):
Man?
Speaker 17 (33:31):
Welcome to Marvin Webster's movie is one oh one. This
is part of the show where we explain the difference
between movie reality and actual reality. Today's topic is the
police department. In real life, when a dude is a
new cop, they always team him up with somebody so
he can learn the ropes.
Speaker 4 (33:49):
But did you ever notice in.
Speaker 17 (33:51):
The movies new cop always get hooked up with somebody
that's the exact opposite of whatever he is. You know,
if he's by the book, they put him with one
of them wild it's always breaking the rules. If he's young,
they put him with an old dude. If he's tall,
they put him with a short dude. If Mark Furman
was a movie cop, his partner would be some big
Muslim dude named mumar Abadadi.
Speaker 5 (34:12):
You know.
Speaker 17 (34:14):
Now, a real cop got to be careful when he's
chasing the crook because you don't want no bystanders to
get hurt. Right, But you ain't really a good movie
cop til you would like blow something up right in
the middle of downtown during rush out. And the more
damage you do, the more cars it gets smashed, the
better cop you are. But don't worry about getting in
no trouble because see, a good movie cop is always
(34:35):
just one butchering away from getting fired.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
You know, the boss is always.
Speaker 17 (34:39):
Some sweaty dude got his sleeves rolled up, talking about
I'm warning.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
You kind of hand.
Speaker 17 (34:43):
One more stunt like that, you're gonna be pushing papers
at the DMB.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Now.
Speaker 17 (34:48):
See, in real life, if the boss is always yelling
at you it means you suck at your job, and
the movies it just means you like taking.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Care of business.
Speaker 17 (34:57):
People always be making jokes about cops hanging out at
the donut shop. See a movie cop ain't got no
time for donuts. He got to be where the action is.
And of course that means he's got a head for
you know, the strip club. That's right, no matter what
kind of crime it is, movie cop don't never crack
the case with at least one trip to.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
The strip club.
Speaker 17 (35:16):
Now the Pope could get killed inside the Vatican, he
would still have to go to the strip club to
crack the cake. Of course, in the movies, a cop
don't really get going on the case until the boss
comes in and kicks him.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
Off of it. You know, he'd be like, that's it,
you off the case.
Speaker 17 (35:31):
See that's good new See in real life that would
be bad, But for the movie cop, that's good because
that's when he comes up with all the good clues,
is right after he gets off the case. And if
you really want to get on the fast track, just
get him to kick you out the police altogether, because
soon as the boss makes you give up your gun
and your badge, looks like you about twenty minutes from
cracking the cake. Don't be standing there hanging your head.
(35:54):
Give him the gun, give me your badge, get on
over to the strip club. This is good tomorrow now.
If a man is getting his butt kicked in a fight,
he'll be like grunting and groaning and stuff. Right, movie
cop will take a beating, don't make a sound, at
least not till later when his girlfriend comes over and
takes off his shirt and starts trying.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
To clean him up.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
Then all of a sudden, he's in a world of
PENSI you know what I mean.
Speaker 17 (36:18):
Like Goldberg was beating the skuy's butt with a tie
toool for fifteen minutes.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
He didn't say nothing.
Speaker 17 (36:22):
Ninety pound woman come at him with a cotton ball
with some bactine on it, all of a sudden, our
hours and a real life cop can find his life
in danger at any minute. But you know, the most
dangerous term for a movie cop is about two weeks
before retirement. You know, he got thirty years on the force,
(36:43):
not a scratch on him. He'd be sitting in the
car talking to his partner about what he gonna do
when he retires. As soon as he pulls out that
picture of his grandkids.
Speaker 4 (36:51):
That's it.
Speaker 17 (36:52):
He gonna be dead within fifteen minutes. And they's speaking
of dead.
Speaker 5 (36:56):
You know.
Speaker 17 (36:56):
In real life, when a cop will shoot somebody, usually
pretty much yet, right, But a movie cop, everyone's got
to kill somebody five or six.
Speaker 4 (37:05):
Times before they stay dead.
Speaker 8 (37:07):
You know.
Speaker 17 (37:07):
It's like, hey, wait a minute, don't be putting your
gun up. No, the dude gonna be right back in
your face again about thirty seconds. See here come, shoot
him again, right between the eyes.
Speaker 4 (37:16):
There you go.
Speaker 17 (37:17):
Now, wait, don't be hugging your girlfriend yet.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
So see here comes again.
Speaker 17 (37:21):
Yeah, that's him carrying his head under his arm. Yeah,
shoot him again. Hey, let your girlfriend shoot him one
time too.
Speaker 4 (37:28):
Oh there you go. Now he's dead. All right.
Speaker 17 (37:33):
I hope we helped you out here, y'all think about it.
I'm Marvin Webbs.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Good morning. It's a big show on the radio. You
would like to have the mayor dismal See Pitch You
John won't be the album keyword, but this is new career.
Don't give it away. Well, there's always something exciting happening
in dismal Sea. Pitch, South Carolina, twenty eighteen, was a
(38:22):
banner year, and I'm sure they'll top themselves in twenty nineteen.
You're gonna tell us all about it, the Honorable Mayor
Merwin Coop Fiddleswoop, Good morning, mister Mayor.
Speaker 8 (38:32):
Good morning John Boy and Billy and all the big
show gang. Well, twenty eighteen is thankfully behind us now
and we dismal seepageons are focused on the future, especially
after the big Christmas chaos festival.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Ah, how'd that go chaotic?
Speaker 8 (38:49):
Apparently you weren't listening. It was one disaster after another.
The worst part was the Living Christmas Tree.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Ah, cool, you did the Living Christmas Tree.
Speaker 8 (39:00):
That's not what you think. The kids from the College
Science department were experimenting with DNA and actually brought one
to life and was terrified. It ate several squirrels that
tried to climb its branches and it was hurling ornaments
and citizens. The worst part was when that tried to
mate with the furs in the part Poor No, not
(39:21):
the fur family, Sandy and Louise. It had good taste, though,
that missus fur. She is one hot potato brother.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
What how did you stop it?
Speaker 8 (39:35):
Well, it was pretty dry, so he just threw a
lit match and went up like a tinder box. It
was really something. The kids were traumatized by the entire scene,
especially when the tree started screaming. Well, that's all ancient
history now, john boy, what we've got coming up, we'll
make everyone forget about it. I'm proud to announce the
(39:56):
first annual Dismal Seepage, Happy New Rear Festival, Happy New Rear. Well,
it's nice to see you were listening this time. That's right,
John Boy. The Happy New Rear Festival sponsored by the
offices of doctor Danny Porani, Cosmetic surgery Artiste. I don't
get it, you see, John Boy, when the new year
(40:23):
comes resolutions, people want to change themselves, make themselves better,
but they just don't seem to have the self discipline needed.
So affordable plastic surgery is a shortcut. This is a
celebration of renewal of fresh starts, where people can become
the phoenix rising from Arizona or something like. The commercial says,
(40:46):
need a new Fanny called doctor parani Ah. But if
not just booties on display, the entire human body is
doctor Parani's canvas.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Just seems like an odd choice.
Speaker 8 (40:57):
Oh well, there's no seeming about it. It's odd, pretty
damn on it. It was either new happy, new rear
now or pushing back a couple of months and do
new Keaster for Easter.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Well good call Lea though, So what's done tap?
Speaker 8 (41:12):
That's a great looking question, John Boy. Well, on Saturday morning,
we'll have the before and after parade where doctor Parani's
customers march down the street carrying pictures of themselves before
the surgery. Some of those pictures are pretty startling. Mother
Nature has quite a sense.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Of humor, not in funny ha ha funny weird bingo.
Speaker 8 (41:35):
And we're not letting the cold weather put a chill
in the festivities. We've got a wet tea sweater contest
for all the ladies.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Wet sweater.
Speaker 8 (41:43):
Well, it's January, John Boy. And if this crew gets
a chess cold, it could be fatal. And there's a
big cash prize to whoever can guess which ones are
real and which ones aren't.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Sign up.
Speaker 8 (41:54):
Yeah, I figured there will be. There will be an
art show with some original sculptures made of how shall
I put it? Leftovers?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Leftovers, you know.
Speaker 8 (42:06):
The scraps from cosmetic surgeries. They have a one half
scale batmobile made from those jobs.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
You're kidding?
Speaker 8 (42:13):
Oh, I wish I was. We even have to keep
it indoors during the cold weather because God forbid, it
gets a runny nose.
Speaker 1 (42:20):
Well, that's the grossest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 8 (42:23):
Hold my beer, John Boy. Be sure to attend the
Big Butter Churning sponsored by Chuck Sucket Liposuction Botique.
Speaker 1 (42:33):
Well wait a second, is this a real butter churning
or are you using liposumption fat?
Speaker 8 (42:40):
Well, let's just say they sell it under the label
of I can't believe it's not buttocks. Long way to
go for that stop off at the stop off at
the food Bazaar for some hot cross buns and surgically
altered chicken breast. You can pucker up at the Botox
Kissing Booth with our special guest, the most botuck lips
(43:02):
in America, Holly Hoover. You have to sign a release
form for that one. And if you're in the moon
for a nice relaxing romp, be sure to stop by
the recycled breast implant ball Crawl. Trust me, it's cozy.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
So what's the grand finale?
Speaker 8 (43:19):
Oh, it's a humdinger, John Boy. We've taken over the
fairgrounds that for the first time ever, two doctors will
compete head to head in the nuts for Butts Live
plastic surgery competition center field, under the lights, regardless of weather.
Doctor Pirani at his art rival doctor Moisha Harpulian will
race to see who could finish their butt lift first.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Is that going to be enough to hold an audience's attention.
Speaker 8 (43:45):
Well, I'm sure the monster trucks racing side by side
around them will add to the suspense.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Guys away a second. They're going to be doing surgery
outside in a non steerile environment while being circled by
speeding two ton monster trucks at camp. Possibly be safe, so.
Speaker 8 (44:02):
Don't get left behind. Come on down to the Big
Dismal Seepitch Happy de Rear Festival this weekend. No ifs,
abs or butts get it? Yeah, not my best finisher.
Hold on.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Bid boxes here all your favorites from four decades and
Big Show.
Speaker 18 (44:24):
Ninety nine says He's fifteen for nine ninety nine by
him once play manywhere shopping blitbox online at the Big
Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
Order Big Show shuff I follow.
Speaker 18 (44:32):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one.
Stuff Online services by animeing dot com.
Speaker 1 (44:37):
This any big show today, Don't let that happen. Chusing
up John Obill and Late Rosers. Podcast man Wherever you
get your podcast and make it easy subscribe to us
with a free iHeartRadio app. HI you out here, Rest
your days, you own tomorrow. Love you mane it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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