May 27, 2025 • 41 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, it’s a Tuesday that feels like a Monday, so we’ll go with it.. - Hoyt and The Junior Nation Band perform their signature “Peckerhead Road” and one inspired by the weekend’s Coca-Cola 600, “A Couple Of Beers”.. - The legendary actor, Alan Swann finds himself visiting us.. - We’ll kickoff grilling season and drop the tune "The Meat Is On”.. - and Rhett & Link perform "The Barbecue Song”.. - we fill a request for a classic call to 911 over a deer in a man's car.. - and we will wrap up today with a visit from Reverend sincere and Goober…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Good Tuesday morning, May the twenty seventh, we got our
feature track from The Big Show bed Box, the rev
and Good the Liquor Store, Evils on the House special
such I ken't word evil when you hit the bid
box at the Bigshow dot Com click out on our
contest wasn't why there can't you get to We'll call you.
You don't play this that make I happen to you?
(00:49):
That's time of beating the blonde. Let's meet our contestionants.
Brandon not a beautiful Charleston, South Carolina. Good morning, Brenda,
Good morning, John Woood, Morning buddy. Welcome in here. So
we Taytor's some questions. You know what to do? You
(01:09):
agree or disagree two bolls before two buzzers and you win.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
All right, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Let's do it. Then tatter, watch your mouth. Okay, if
you're caught cursing in front of one of these in Egypt,
the law says you will be fined two days pay
in front of what in front of a camel? Camel
(01:35):
haramble Egypt. There are a lot of those in Egypt.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah, no, I hear no, no, no no. If you
cuss in front of a woman, it's no good two
days pay.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Ah if you cuss in front of a woman, Brandon,
agree or disagree?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I will agree?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Wow, all that what's the thing to do? Yeah? Woman, No,
you can't have that. Watch it alright? There all ride
he has one bells in another. The inspiration for the
serrated blades on State knives came from the teeth of
a remarkable creature known for its devastating bite. What was it?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Oh? That is Gary Beucy. A remarkable creature. That is
the piranha, the pana what.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
The state knives rated edges? Brandon agree or disagree? I
will disagree. Eh, that was.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
God.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
You know what it is, Brandon, what would you give?
I would guess.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I would guess a shark.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Yeah, that's exactly right. It is a shark. Serrated tepass.
You don't want promise to get on you. No, we're
branding a good job, Buddie, big old price back head
down to Charleston for you. Oh, thank you all very much,
thank you, thank you. I appreciate it all right, buddy,
(03:21):
ain't over jacking. Why let's jump out catch you up
on your news right on the other side. Oh boy,
the time of our time capsule on this May twenty seventh,
dang Old Boy.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Laying This is the award winning John Boy and Billy
(04:10):
Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Right now, that's giving on far uncle buddy.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Yeah, what a great crowd. I've seen better heads on
a nickel beer. I'll tell you that right now. And
here he is, folks in the pinball game of life.
His flippers are farther apart than most people. Money shine
blow Yeah. For my next couple of appearances, you know,
I decided to pay homage to some of our great comedians.
That way I can steal all my jokes from one place.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
A lot of run around.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
I'm not as young as I used to be. I'll
tell you that. Kids nowadays they don't know great comedians.
All I know is they got Adam Sadler getting hitting
the nuggets and Larry the Cable Guy telling bar jokes.
And I think that's comedy. Don't get me started. Today,
I thought I'd take my segment to salute the guy
who made the rim shot famous. I'm referring a course
to the late great Henny Youngman. These are all jokes
(05:12):
from his act. So I was getting on a plane
the other day, and I told the ticket lady said,
one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles,
and one to Miami. She said, we can't do that.
He said, you did last week and the flight. The
food on the plane was fit for a king.
Speaker 7 (05:25):
Here king.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
The doctor called missus Cohen, said, Missus Cohen, your check
came back. She said, so did my arthritis. My doctor
told me you live to be sixty. I said, I
am sixty. He said, see what I need to tell you.
I went to see my doctor, I say. He said
how are you? I said, all right, I guess. He said,
I don't guess. That's my job. I went to see
(05:49):
the doctor. He said how are you? I said pretty good.
He said that'll be fifty dollars. The doctor said, take
off your clothes and stick your tongue out the window.
I said, well that make me feel better. He said no,
I'm just mad at my neighbor.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Ah.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
I said, doctor, my leg hurts.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
What can I do? He said, limp.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
I went to the psychiatrist.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Doctor.
Speaker 6 (06:08):
Nobody listens to me, the doctor said.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Next.
Speaker 6 (06:12):
A drunk is standing in front of the judge. The
judge says, you've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says,
let's get star. A drunk puts a quarter in the
parking meter and the doal goes to sixty. The drunk says, hey,
I lost one hundred pounds. A bom asked me to
He said, give me ten dollars till pay day. I said,
when's payday? He said, I don't know. You're the one
with the job. I went to the horse race the
(06:35):
other day. The horse I bet on was so slow
that jockey kept a diary of the trip. He was
so late cross of the finish line he tiptoed across
so we wouldn't wake up the spectators. Money is no object,
I'm telling you right now. I'm staying at a lovely hotel.
The closet is a nail. There was a girl knocking
on my door all night. Finally I let her out.
(07:00):
The hotel room is so small. When I put a
key in the lock, I broke the window. Broke the window.
What a family I got. My in laws are a
fastidious couple. He's fast and she's hideous. I just got
back from a pledge of trip. I took my mother
in law of the airport that was for you. Hanson,
(07:20):
my brother in lies. I'm too smart. He opened a
tall man shop in Tokyo. My uncle just died. He
was a karate expert too, joined the army. The first
time he saluted, he killed himself. How about some ethnic Cuma.
Never start a war with Italy. When you drop bombs
on him, they slide off.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Ooh oh wow.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
You see the new Italian navy has glass bottom boats,
and so they can see the old Italian navy. A
Jewish friend of mine got hit by a car. I said, Myron,
now you're comfortable, He said, I make a good living.
I just saw a Jewish porno movie t Guilt. There
(08:00):
was a Polish guy in a helicopter. He got up
eight hundred feet and down it comes. I said, what happened?
He said, he got chilli up there, So I turned
the fan off. The Polish guy got has besecto me
done at seous Now when he makes whooping, the garage
door goes on. And my wife, she'll buy anything marked down.
Yesterday she came home with an escalator. All she does
(08:23):
is shop. Once she was sick for a week. Three
stores closed. I take my way Morty. Oh holy wow,
I stretched that one off. I take my wife, take
my wife everywhere. She keeps fighting her way back. She
ran after the garbage truck. Am I too late? The
guy says, no, jump in. My wife and I went
(08:46):
back to the hotel where we spent our honeymoon, only
this time I stayed in the bathroom and she cried.
They had a water bed in the room. My wife
called it the dead sea. She really takes care of herself.
She's on a diet where she only eats bananas and coconuts.
She hasn't lost any weight. But you want to see
climb a tree? What I must be a real loser.
(09:06):
I met an infomaniac. She said, let's just be friends.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
That's a great heady young and ladies and gentlemen. That's
it for me.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
Come on mornings in the world, So long, everybody.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
John Boya and Dilly.
Speaker 8 (09:24):
That he is a familiar voice.
Speaker 9 (09:26):
I mean you've heard that voice before, right, Actually that
voice is heard every day, several.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Times a day by millions of Americans. Good morning radio,
dumb right, Good Tuesday morning, Big show's on the radio. Well,
(10:10):
we have a new pope, and it's about time. But
I've often wondered who fills in for the pope while
they're looking for a new one. Well we've found the answer.
Welcome to the big show, mister Malcolm w Norbliss. Have
a seat, Malcolm, Oh mind if I do. Now, you
have a rather unique job, that's true.
Speaker 6 (10:29):
I am the only person who has ever held this job.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
So you are the stand in pope. Is that the
right way to put it?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Pretty much.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
See I'm the guy who steps into the pope's position
while the cardinals and bishops are looking for a new poniff.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So how long have you been doing this?
Speaker 6 (10:44):
Since nineteen seventy eight, I was a young man working
my way across Europe. It was a lovely August day
and Rome. I was filling out an application for the
Vatican gift Shop. When the nose came that the pope
had died. A couple of bishops and cardinals took me
into a room. The robes fit and that was pretty
much a boom stand in pope.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Wow does it pay well? Pretty good?
Speaker 6 (11:05):
Plus the clothes, it's all robes and stuff. You know,
I'm a big fan of loose spitting clothing. And best
of all, one word commando.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Oh more information than we needed, Malcolm, so basically, you've
only really worked about two months total over the last
what almost fifty years? Jealous. No, that's pretty much my
story too. It's nice. Yeah. So do you live in
the actual Vatican?
Speaker 6 (11:30):
No, no, no, I have a guest house out back.
They call it the Cato Klein.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Sweet. It's not very big, but I do have cable.
So what do you do all the time? Did I
let you go out?
Speaker 6 (11:42):
I'm not supposed to, but I sneak out once in
a while, you know, whenever I get a craving from pizza.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
There's a Papa John's just down the street. So you're
in Italy and you go to Papa John's.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Hard wants what the hard wants? It must be boring
the rest of the time. Oh no, that's not true
at all. Every Tuesday is bowling night. We've got six lanes.
We even have teams. I play with the Vatican Plumbers.
We call ourselves the Holy Craft. Oh Cardinal Papa Georgio,
he gets a big kick out of that. On Thursday
(12:13):
we get together in the vestibule and play Canasta. And
Friday night is movie night.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Well that sounds like fun. Oh, it's hilarious.
Speaker 6 (12:20):
You know they only watch PG movies, but a couple
of times I snuck in an R rated one American
pie almost got me fired. And though it's not well known,
there was a mall underneath the Vatican.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Like a regular mall. Oh regular mall. We got a gap,
we got a sears, a spencer gifts, spencer gimps in
the Vatican, I know, right.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
My favorite part is to catch one of the bishops
looking at the fat girl cards.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Hey, they've got.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
An old fashioned arcade closes. Cyber came to hearing a
pope cuss was when Pope John Paul the Second was
playing MS.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Pac Man's do you have any other duties in your
off time?
Speaker 6 (12:54):
Well, John boy, I fancy myself a bit of an
idea of it. I'm always looking for ways to put
the Vatican in the spotlight.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Now.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
I remember when the first Batman came out. I suggested
they outfit the popemobile to look like the Batmobile something
to get the kid's attention, you know, and went over
like a turd in the punch bowl. I tried to
get the Pope to be a Grand Marshal in a
NASCAR event, deck out the popemobile like a real competition
vehicle get a sponsor, but apparently the pimply monk hard
Lemonade Sacramental Wine number seven car was not received like
(13:26):
at all?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Is there anything you don't like about it?
Speaker 6 (13:30):
You know what, there's only one thing. The hats a beanie,
Come on, what are we doing? A little rascals reboots
and that big cone hat. You know, I'm sure it
looks majestic, but it would it kill you to maybe
trying a ball cap? I mean, the new Pope is
from Chicago, right, sell ball caps at the gift shop
with dum.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Pope on it. Who's your favorite boat.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Now, Darren?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
We'd real have to think about it.
Speaker 6 (13:54):
John Paul the Second JP Douce, Juan Pablo Dose, John Paul,
George Ringo, great guy Italian, sounded like Chico Marks.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
That's a no good.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
He really knew his way around a knock knock joke
and guess what a great dance really? Oh he could
merangue like nobody's business. And another tidbit he was a sleepwalker.
I gave him the nickname the Roman Catholic. Get it?
Speaker 10 (14:23):
So what now?
Speaker 6 (14:24):
Well, I'm gonna go back to Wisconsin for a few weeks.
Then back to the Vatican. I mean you never know, right.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Malcolm w Norbalist the stand in Pope, thanks for stopping by.
Speaker 6 (14:36):
You wouldn't happen to be in the market for forty
thousand bat Pope matchbox cars with that figures, I'll just
show myself out.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Good morning. The big show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Well, I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Now.
Speaker 11 (14:54):
Like to listen to John Boy and Billy and that
they're big show. I like the way they talked. We're
funny ah hah, not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John Boy has a hard time
getting started in the morning.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I ain't gotten the gaze.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Good morning. That's a big showing al radio.
Speaker 12 (15:49):
Well, just waiting shorts of it.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
The bread with old buds, Rent and lean On grilling
with legends, celebrating John Woe Miller, grilling sauce in your
local food Lion stores. Give you some the boys on
the sauce out. It's up there by the boys, Rent
and Leek. And it's the first talking about fun summer
songs because it just feels like it coming out of
(16:21):
Memorrow Day weekend. Oh look heart the boys looking ahead
for this dude from the Junior Nation band.
Speaker 8 (16:33):
Oh yeah, ladies and gentlemen, that your your nation man
is marginally proud to present a song wasting part on
the story that is true in part told in part
to a couple of cops that showed up red in
one part. You'll hear about that in a second. Anyway,
(16:59):
it went a little like this.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
We all went to this leg place on.
Speaker 8 (17:06):
By Delvert's cousin Fuzzy, to get back and.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Do some fishing.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
And get a little Fuzzy. We brung our bad and
tag of the haulis and a string of bass. The
boat tank was born dry and we didn't have enough
for gas.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
We was rolled on the water.
Speaker 8 (17:39):
And we was traumatized flat brow.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
On the water.
Speaker 8 (17:48):
Well it wasn't flat broke. I mean we did have
a bunch of Iroce core budweisers and most of the
car and the murmural lights left at that point, which
is why we didn't have no money to put gas
in the boat, So traumatized might be the wrong word. Anyway,
Marine gas is kind high, and money's being a little
(18:09):
tights blew our entire water on ice, cold beers and
the carton of Marlboro lights. And before you know, and
we'd run.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Slapped out door.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
We planned to do some fishing, but.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
We was too taped out to go. We was broke
on the water. Not a big surprise, slap broa on
the walk. Corse man ain't never broken, Clawns. He's got
(18:52):
wonderful friends. By his signe like my boy twitch on
the guitar over here, bring it up. We all down
(19:14):
to Bear twelve like a bunch of good old boys letting.
The cops rolled up and said, y'all pipe down, you're
making too much noise. We got a little mile there
and kind of got up in their face. The next
(19:36):
thing you know, we was locked up and we didn't get.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
To watch the race. We was rolled on the water.
Speaker 8 (19:48):
And they was empty tized flat roll on the water.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is mostly truth story of
our non fishing fishing trip, which goes to show you
that money ain't everything in life unless you have to
call you idiot present the baris say you getn't make bail,
(20:13):
But an old.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Forest cup used to say.
Speaker 8 (20:17):
Laugh, it's kind of like a box of chucklets you
can't tell it. The next one's gonna suck to You've
already got in there and took you a big gold back.
You don't like it, Spit it out and get another one.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Good morning, got a big show on the radio. I
hang over it. Link the barbecue song, the all encompassing
barbecue song of every type of barbecue sauce, that there
is none better than John Boyn Believe grilling sauce. You
(20:54):
all remember that while you're listening. Okay, first of a day,
about what you can win on worthy word is one
hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products
made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America moving, and
bullsnot make sure they look good doing it. You can
find bull Snout at truck stops across America. Download the
bull Snot app to just click on the banner the
(21:16):
Big Show dot Com. All right, red leg Any boys want.
Speaker 13 (21:20):
To in the mountains of Tennessee. They like the smoke
he sauce went over there in Old Man fast right
round rivers balls.
Speaker 10 (21:35):
The folks down at Georgia they can't pick up they rine.
You can get to those sweet hoarspics and they'll say
that taste all right, and you might make us out.
Speaker 13 (21:45):
Care really are just a little bit all which you
believe their barbecues yello with the mustard sauce mark shoulder.
Speaker 14 (21:54):
And not of choice indeed, and they ride themselves on
Barbelet's don't leave me in agreed losing an a mcg.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
They like a spiceter, they like a spicyitter.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
This is ar review.
Speaker 10 (22:17):
Barbcue in the Southern United States, and win, my mistery
burry me barbecue, but make sure it's vinegar maze.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
As you know, let's lose a game.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And this is out from our hosteave.
Speaker 15 (22:34):
Of North Carolina.
Speaker 7 (22:36):
Don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Nothing is being whiskey ducky.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
That's a lancy name machine.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
And the rest dynas day.
Speaker 15 (23:01):
It's like park Pyke's white the Arkansas kind of like
Georgia of barbecue, melt and pot when you ain't looking
at them. Good old boy, we'll make that start atue hot.
Alaman's got the strangest thing I seen him of barbecue days.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
And then barbicue s off his wife made out of
mayor names and.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Down in ISAs we're the lone board.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
See your row free. The looks for cam Redskin. It's
a big old slap.
Speaker 12 (23:32):
It down in Florida.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
It's born on the southern state.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Oh you.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
See his ivorgue.
Speaker 10 (23:46):
Barbecue in the seven You United States and winning My
Life History.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Mary Men, Barbecue people not round the side.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Ain't barbie.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
He means to own And that's something they're wrong about.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Barbecue is not a bird, and barbecue is not a grill.
Speaker 8 (24:08):
Barbecue is meren in a married special way which varies
a minute on.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Where you go.
Speaker 7 (24:14):
And was a review.
Speaker 10 (24:20):
Of barbicks.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
All right, y'all get that to the professionals. Work well,
let's play worthy word. Y'all won eight hundred big show
you told Free Line might have clicked that on their
contest wasn't can't get though Jackie might be calling you
se that are googing off on the phone.
Speaker 16 (24:45):
Again over there making prank phone calls. Contessa's will play
next Sweet and Miles or the Original or the.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Hot and Spicy, All flavors of John Boyn Grilling sauce
able in the sauce out of your local food line store.
Fire up the flavor with John Boyn Billy Grillon sauce
your backyard barbecue just met us new em deep who
wrote this. That's what I thought. Sound like something Carla
(25:39):
cook work. It's geechee, holl o your local food law.
We read in the planet.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
I think so that good I had. Everybody's about the bad.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
The wordy where they're a worthy where let's meet the contestants.
We got John from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Good morning, John, Good morning,
broth my man's John boy and John all right on
and look from Jackson, Mississippi. It's Ron, good morning, Ron morning,
(26:23):
Good morning John boy, John, Ron and Tatur and dogs. Hey,
oh Tater and Ron. All right, all right boys for
good luck. Ron, you relax me and John for the
first thirty seconds. Hi John, Let's see what we can
put on the board. We just got random words here,
(26:45):
random words all right, all right, okay, start the clock.
Now give me a blank sandwich has made? Has made
a pig of meat a blank and cheese a blank
in cheese cheese. Oh you just said it, ham and yes,
uh huh, gobble, Gobble says the.
Speaker 17 (27:09):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
My blank has the first name. What is it, little kids,
meat that you eat a blank sandwich?
Speaker 6 (27:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Blown?
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Oh, opposite of ketch up. The yellow stuff is.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Mustard.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
That's a boy, John, good work. Put a five on
the board. So let's see what Ron and Taylor can
do with their first thirty. Ron, are you ready? Yeah,
I'd worry about you and tyervi's you.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
That's just me.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Veterans older world records. Ma I can talk smacks. Oh yeah,
thank you, hie Rod. Here you go, buddy, we're starting
the clock now.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
You need two pieces of this to make a sandwich.
Speaker 6 (28:00):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
This is you might have a spear on the side
of your sandwich.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Dill is one.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Bread and butter is another.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
This is the red vegetable slash fruit that you make
ketchup with tomatos. The white stuff dukes is one. You
put this on your sandwich. You uh, this is another
another meat. It's like prime rib cooked really well, it's I.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, okay, there's a buzzer. Let's see. Let's review one
of four on the board. Not quite a five, but
uh wait a minute, wait a minute, what's happening here? Mayonnaise.
Tater said mayonnaise.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I didn't say it.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
The collar said mayonnaise and is supposed to be mayo.
Uh huh oh okay, you see Lord the judge Jackie,
what do you say you're okay?
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I never said.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Okay, all right, so nice try ready, thanks, But so
there four or five hour, right, yeah, bread, pickled tomato,
your rock boy, those were Tuffy's rods. Okay, all right, John,
me and you. Let's just like Trump said, let's make
it too big to rig. All right here, buddy, all
(29:21):
we're big enough on that last one. Starting the clock. Now,
get this kind of sandwiches. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Okay,
the uh he is married to the queen, married to
the Yeah no, no, no, the queens. Okay, you light
the candles on your birthday. Yeah, let's go for a
(29:43):
five mile yeah, all right, let's set the blank for dinner,
set the uh huh, let's catch the chew chew. Yeah,
all right, that's the way to do it. John six
on that five and eleven. So now we sat back
(30:04):
and watch it and run. I'll take a seven, will
tie okay, okay, all right, jump on in there. Start
the clock.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Now, you go to the dentist so he can work
on your uh you have yeah, but if you use
you use them, eat your face. You know, when you're
happy you do this you yes, yes, not a sister
but a.
Speaker 6 (30:33):
Brother.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Yeah, you listen to this on the radio.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
The sound of you stop stop to.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Smell the what Okay, but all of them are called what.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yes. Oh, well that was a pretty good run out
short eleven of Forest John from Chatting nig up over
roll from Jackson.
Speaker 15 (30:57):
Run dog on it.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
You are player. I can sense. As I pointed out before,
I'm pretty good.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Yeah it was eleven to eight just for the oh sorry.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yeah, I gotta add the four on the four eight Okay, Ron,
We appreciate you, buddy, hope you have a great rest
of your day. I will all right, all right, enjoyed it, Ron,
Buddy John Chadanuga you hang on. Jackie can get your
prize back to you, buddy. Good work.
Speaker 7 (31:26):
Hey, can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Absolutely you miss shout out to my cousin Little Butts
and Selma and my fiance Jennie Anderson and Chattanooga. Well
I hear you. Many happen nuptials in your old place,
well said John. I'm going to finish the wording if
they put the sentenced together. Good Morning b Shows on
(31:52):
the radio biit request from NGO Tom wit High White High. Yeah,
that is like Tom white hair senior. Okay, guys, you
Tom from Canova, West Virginia. So Tom says, we need
to hear about the guy who hit a deer and
(32:14):
put it in his back seat. All right, we can
make that happen, can't with data?
Speaker 5 (32:18):
We can?
Speaker 3 (32:19):
All right, it's coming up next.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Good morning there. It is a big show on the radio.
And this is the time if you've heard something you
light to hear again. Set us up on the John
won't on the Facebook page, drive a line the mailbag
at the makeshow dot com like Tom white Hair saying everything,
Tom out of ton Noble, West Virginia, is your regreests?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Who?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yes?
Speaker 10 (33:11):
Where is it?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
This is the ambulance emergency line. Do you have an emergency?
I mean a Bamland? Who is a juel? Okay, Joe,
where do you need it? I'm in my phone booth. Okay,
what's the address there? Old on? Okay, sir? Did you
come to nine one one?
Speaker 5 (33:32):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
No, okay, Joe? I needed a location? What street are
you on?
Speaker 7 (33:37):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I'm in my phone booth to stop being go I'm
in this.
Speaker 9 (33:42):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
I'm into my stopping go on on? We minute? Where
hunting four roots in something in my stopping. Go that's
with corvillain. What hold uh.
Speaker 18 (34:04):
Yo?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Uh huh have uh? Let me see coffee coffee cossie
cow seet. There you go, there you go. I'm in
the moth phone boat. I'm let me tell you what
I'm in the I'm going down.
Speaker 9 (34:20):
The maf road driving my car, mine and my own
guard some business, and am up deer and jumping out
and hit my car.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Okay, sir, you injured. Now, now let me tell you.
I get out and.
Speaker 7 (34:34):
Pack them off.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Deer up huh, I thought he's ted.
Speaker 9 (34:38):
I put them up from deer in my back seat
and I'm driving down the Mouth road to mine in
my own business.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Then I woke up and bit me in the back
of my guard neked and bit me in down and
kicked it out of my car. I'm into my phone boat.
The dead bit me in the neck. A big mouf
dog came up and beat me.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
In the leg.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I hear him where the most tyron, and I stabbed him.
I stand him with my note. So I got a
hurt legg and the bear bit me in the neck,
and the deer and the dog wanted let me out
of my strong booth because he wants the deer. Okay, sir,
you injured my deer bit me in the neck.
Speaker 6 (35:19):
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
The the motain dog is laid me old, No, I
forgot to get out of his MoU hold on the
most dog is laid in life.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Good morning, there's a big Jona radio. If you like
this drag for your keyword of the big box evil,
the words real and good.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
That's it, that's it.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
That's what said.
Speaker 7 (36:17):
Good morning, las rander.
Speaker 18 (36:22):
Missus Jackie, what up? Girl?
Speaker 1 (36:23):
You gotta going on as usual?
Speaker 7 (36:27):
Honestly?
Speaker 18 (36:27):
Since said hell?
Speaker 2 (36:28):
You know, people.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Always asking me for advice, and.
Speaker 18 (36:32):
Sometimes I give it, but you know, sometimes I politely decline.
A man must be very careful when he's giving people
advice on their lives, even a man of the cloth
like myself, and sometimes especially a man of the cloth
like myself.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Can I give you some advice?
Speaker 9 (36:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (36:49):
Or hurry up get to it?
Speaker 18 (36:52):
Sometimes advice can have unintended consequences. I learned that the
hardware A few years back. Here's I have cool gool Johnson.
His wife came to him and said, Ralph Cuckoo done
fell off the wagon again. He's back drinking. I can't
talk no sense into him. He's spending so much money
at the liquor store. I can barely buy food for
the family.
Speaker 7 (37:11):
You my last hope.
Speaker 18 (37:13):
I be got and talked in to coming to church
with me on Sunday. Hoppy mighty obliged if you'd work
something in you're serving about the evils are drinking. I said, well, okay,
I'll be glad to So Sunday came. I look out there,
and there's Cuckoo and Miss Johnson sitting there in the pew,
and time come to pass the plate. And I said, well,
brothers and sisters, it's time to bring your tithes and
(37:34):
offerings to Father the work of the Lord. Now give
whatever you can afford to give. I don't expect you
to put in hundreds and thousands of dollars. That's the
sad thing about the way this wicked world works. The
richest people, the people that can afford to give the most,
are often the stingiest people you ever seen. Who is
the richest man in town. It's the man that owns
(37:55):
the liquor store. He'll take any about his money. In fact,
the man that owns the liquors, y'all will take a
man's last dollar out of his pocket. He lives high
in the hall, the biggest house in town, the liquor
man's house, best car in town, the liquor man's car,
the youngest, prettiest woman in.
Speaker 7 (38:12):
Town, the liquor man's wife.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
And who pays for.
Speaker 7 (38:16):
All this ill gotten prosperity?
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You do, brothers and sisters.
Speaker 7 (38:20):
Now y'all think on that.
Speaker 18 (38:22):
So next Sunday morning, Cuckoo and his wife is back
at the dilemma'clock service, and I'm shaking hair with folks
as they're leaving the service. Here comes Cuckoo up.
Speaker 7 (38:29):
He grabs up, shakes my hand.
Speaker 18 (38:31):
He says, reverendend it. I just want to say how
much I appreciated your message last Sunday. It gave me
a lot to think about. I want you to know
because of some of the things you said, I'm making
some big changes in my life. I said, really, I said, Cuckoo,
you mean you quit drinking? He said, no, without Monday
and bought liquor Star. God, y'all'll think before you speak,
(38:54):
And now please welcome the exception that proves the rule.
Speaker 7 (38:57):
Ladies and gentleman. Wow, this cool.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
That's I was.
Speaker 7 (39:02):
That's my that's my say, how docks is that can be?
I say, how much assist can be? Just right there
hates you know now, hoy Debord went over to Spade
last year on the vacation.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
I tell you what.
Speaker 7 (39:17):
Oh, Old Debord went out the side of he wanted
to go to a late night dinner. It was just
sitting there. So old Debord went out and he whatever
the house special was old to bid you? Deborah ordered that. Well,
the waiter brought him out. Uh big old plate had
potatoes old and had some cord and had two large
beady objects old it what two two bit beaty objects
(39:38):
olding you know like beat uh uh you know the
Who's album bead beady, big and bouncy. That's two big
o beat the objects on and never said hey, uh senior,
or what is this? And that waiter said those are cahodis.
Sidor says, what are cahodes? And uh waiter says, well,
(39:59):
cohodes are the testicles of the bull who lost at
the arena this afternoon. Pushed Hi back, said Wall. But
when he was informed that he had already paid for it,
and his goal had to pay for whether he ate
it or not, Debord decided, well, let me try this out.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Well, let into the hoes and he loved them.
Speaker 4 (40:18):
Oh it was good.
Speaker 7 (40:19):
So then the next like, never's telling hold about it.
So they went back out. Deborah ordered the House special. Uh,
I couldn't talk hold into it. Yeah, the way they
brought it out said it down, And Deborah said, what's
this and the waiter said as Cahody said your and
deb said, oh no, I had cahots yesterday and they
were a lot bigger than this. And the waiter said, well,
(40:40):
see your the bull does not lose every time you go.
You know that biggest seeding for the media.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Big Boxes.
Speaker 17 (40:54):
Here all your favorites from four decades of The Big
Show running nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine
by him once anywhere. You can shop the Big Box
online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 17 (41:05):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
If you missed any of the Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Boy Billy Lighton
Risers podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcasts
making easy, subscribe to us with a free I heart
Radio app love you mean it
Good Tuesday morning, May the twenty seventh, we got our
feature track from The Big Show bed Box, the rev
and Good the Liquor Store, Evils on the House special
such I ken't word evil when you hit the bid
box at the Bigshow dot Com click out on our
contest wasn't why there can't you get to We'll call you.
You don't play this that make I happen to you?
(00:49):
That's time of beating the blonde. Let's meet our contestionants.
Brandon not a beautiful Charleston, South Carolina. Good morning, Brenda,
Good morning, John Woood, Morning buddy. Welcome in here. So
we Taytor's some questions. You know what to do? You
(01:09):
agree or disagree two bolls before two buzzers and you win.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
All right, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Let's do it. Then tatter, watch your mouth. Okay, if
you're caught cursing in front of one of these in Egypt,
the law says you will be fined two days pay
in front of what in front of a camel? Camel
(01:35):
haramble Egypt. There are a lot of those in Egypt.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
Yeah, no, I hear no, no, no no. If you
cuss in front of a woman, it's no good two
days pay.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Ah if you cuss in front of a woman, Brandon,
agree or disagree?
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I will agree?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Wow, all that what's the thing to do? Yeah? Woman, No,
you can't have that. Watch it alright? There all ride
he has one bells in another. The inspiration for the
serrated blades on State knives came from the teeth of
a remarkable creature known for its devastating bite. What was it?
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Oh? That is Gary Beucy. A remarkable creature. That is
the piranha, the pana what.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
The state knives rated edges? Brandon agree or disagree? I
will disagree. Eh, that was.
Speaker 4 (02:52):
God.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
You know what it is, Brandon, what would you give?
I would guess.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I would guess a shark.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Yeah, that's exactly right. It is a shark. Serrated tepass.
You don't want promise to get on you. No, we're
branding a good job, Buddie, big old price back head
down to Charleston for you. Oh, thank you all very much,
thank you, thank you. I appreciate it all right, buddy,
(03:21):
ain't over jacking. Why let's jump out catch you up
on your news right on the other side. Oh boy,
the time of our time capsule on this May twenty seventh,
dang Old Boy.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Laying This is the award winning John Boy and Billy
(04:10):
Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Right now, that's giving on far uncle buddy.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Yeah, what a great crowd. I've seen better heads on
a nickel beer. I'll tell you that right now. And
here he is, folks in the pinball game of life.
His flippers are farther apart than most people. Money shine
blow Yeah. For my next couple of appearances, you know,
I decided to pay homage to some of our great comedians.
That way I can steal all my jokes from one place.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
A lot of run around.
Speaker 6 (04:50):
I'm not as young as I used to be. I'll
tell you that. Kids nowadays they don't know great comedians.
All I know is they got Adam Sadler getting hitting
the nuggets and Larry the Cable Guy telling bar jokes.
And I think that's comedy. Don't get me started. Today,
I thought I'd take my segment to salute the guy
who made the rim shot famous. I'm referring a course
to the late great Henny Youngman. These are all jokes
(05:12):
from his act. So I was getting on a plane
the other day, and I told the ticket lady said,
one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles,
and one to Miami. She said, we can't do that.
He said, you did last week and the flight. The
food on the plane was fit for a king.
Speaker 7 (05:25):
Here king.
Speaker 6 (05:29):
The doctor called missus Cohen, said, Missus Cohen, your check
came back. She said, so did my arthritis. My doctor
told me you live to be sixty. I said, I
am sixty. He said, see what I need to tell you.
I went to see my doctor, I say. He said
how are you? I said, all right, I guess. He said,
I don't guess. That's my job. I went to see
(05:49):
the doctor. He said how are you? I said pretty good.
He said that'll be fifty dollars. The doctor said, take
off your clothes and stick your tongue out the window.
I said, well that make me feel better. He said no,
I'm just mad at my neighbor.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Ah.
Speaker 6 (06:01):
I said, doctor, my leg hurts.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
What can I do? He said, limp.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
I went to the psychiatrist.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Doctor.
Speaker 6 (06:08):
Nobody listens to me, the doctor said.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Next.
Speaker 6 (06:12):
A drunk is standing in front of the judge. The
judge says, you've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says,
let's get star. A drunk puts a quarter in the
parking meter and the doal goes to sixty. The drunk says, hey,
I lost one hundred pounds. A bom asked me to
He said, give me ten dollars till pay day. I said,
when's payday? He said, I don't know. You're the one
with the job. I went to the horse race the
(06:35):
other day. The horse I bet on was so slow
that jockey kept a diary of the trip. He was
so late cross of the finish line he tiptoed across
so we wouldn't wake up the spectators. Money is no object,
I'm telling you right now. I'm staying at a lovely hotel.
The closet is a nail. There was a girl knocking
on my door all night. Finally I let her out.
(07:00):
The hotel room is so small. When I put a
key in the lock, I broke the window. Broke the window.
What a family I got. My in laws are a
fastidious couple. He's fast and she's hideous. I just got
back from a pledge of trip. I took my mother
in law of the airport that was for you. Hanson,
(07:20):
my brother in lies. I'm too smart. He opened a
tall man shop in Tokyo. My uncle just died. He
was a karate expert too, joined the army. The first
time he saluted, he killed himself. How about some ethnic Cuma.
Never start a war with Italy. When you drop bombs
on him, they slide off.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Ooh oh wow.
Speaker 6 (07:39):
You see the new Italian navy has glass bottom boats,
and so they can see the old Italian navy. A
Jewish friend of mine got hit by a car. I said, Myron,
now you're comfortable, He said, I make a good living.
I just saw a Jewish porno movie t Guilt. There
(08:00):
was a Polish guy in a helicopter. He got up
eight hundred feet and down it comes. I said, what happened?
He said, he got chilli up there, So I turned
the fan off. The Polish guy got has besecto me
done at seous Now when he makes whooping, the garage
door goes on. And my wife, she'll buy anything marked down.
Yesterday she came home with an escalator. All she does
(08:23):
is shop. Once she was sick for a week. Three
stores closed. I take my way Morty. Oh holy wow,
I stretched that one off. I take my wife, take
my wife everywhere. She keeps fighting her way back. She
ran after the garbage truck. Am I too late? The
guy says, no, jump in. My wife and I went
(08:46):
back to the hotel where we spent our honeymoon, only
this time I stayed in the bathroom and she cried.
They had a water bed in the room. My wife
called it the dead sea. She really takes care of herself.
She's on a diet where she only eats bananas and coconuts.
She hasn't lost any weight. But you want to see
climb a tree? What I must be a real loser.
(09:06):
I met an infomaniac. She said, let's just be friends.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
That's a great heady young and ladies and gentlemen. That's
it for me.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
Come on mornings in the world, So long, everybody.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
John Boya and Dilly.
Speaker 8 (09:24):
That he is a familiar voice.
Speaker 9 (09:26):
I mean you've heard that voice before, right, Actually that
voice is heard every day, several.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Times a day by millions of Americans. Good morning radio,
dumb right, Good Tuesday morning, Big show's on the radio. Well,
(10:10):
we have a new pope, and it's about time. But
I've often wondered who fills in for the pope while
they're looking for a new one. Well we've found the answer.
Welcome to the big show, mister Malcolm w Norbliss. Have
a seat, Malcolm, Oh mind if I do. Now, you
have a rather unique job, that's true.
Speaker 6 (10:29):
I am the only person who has ever held this job.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
So you are the stand in pope. Is that the
right way to put it?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Pretty much.
Speaker 6 (10:36):
See I'm the guy who steps into the pope's position
while the cardinals and bishops are looking for a new poniff.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
So how long have you been doing this?
Speaker 6 (10:44):
Since nineteen seventy eight, I was a young man working
my way across Europe. It was a lovely August day
and Rome. I was filling out an application for the
Vatican gift Shop. When the nose came that the pope
had died. A couple of bishops and cardinals took me
into a room. The robes fit and that was pretty
much a boom stand in pope.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Wow does it pay well? Pretty good?
Speaker 6 (11:05):
Plus the clothes, it's all robes and stuff. You know,
I'm a big fan of loose spitting clothing. And best
of all, one word commando.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Oh more information than we needed, Malcolm, so basically, you've
only really worked about two months total over the last
what almost fifty years? Jealous. No, that's pretty much my
story too. It's nice. Yeah. So do you live in
the actual Vatican?
Speaker 6 (11:30):
No, no, no, I have a guest house out back.
They call it the Cato Klein.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Sweet. It's not very big, but I do have cable.
So what do you do all the time? Did I
let you go out?
Speaker 6 (11:42):
I'm not supposed to, but I sneak out once in
a while, you know, whenever I get a craving from pizza.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
There's a Papa John's just down the street. So you're
in Italy and you go to Papa John's.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Hard wants what the hard wants? It must be boring
the rest of the time. Oh no, that's not true
at all. Every Tuesday is bowling night. We've got six lanes.
We even have teams. I play with the Vatican Plumbers.
We call ourselves the Holy Craft. Oh Cardinal Papa Georgio,
he gets a big kick out of that. On Thursday
(12:13):
we get together in the vestibule and play Canasta. And
Friday night is movie night.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Well that sounds like fun. Oh, it's hilarious.
Speaker 6 (12:20):
You know they only watch PG movies, but a couple
of times I snuck in an R rated one American
pie almost got me fired. And though it's not well known,
there was a mall underneath the Vatican.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Like a regular mall. Oh regular mall. We got a gap,
we got a sears, a spencer gifts, spencer gimps in
the Vatican, I know, right.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
My favorite part is to catch one of the bishops
looking at the fat girl cards.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Hey, they've got.
Speaker 6 (12:44):
An old fashioned arcade closes. Cyber came to hearing a
pope cuss was when Pope John Paul the Second was
playing MS.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Pac Man's do you have any other duties in your
off time?
Speaker 6 (12:54):
Well, John boy, I fancy myself a bit of an
idea of it. I'm always looking for ways to put
the Vatican in the spotlight.
Speaker 5 (13:02):
Now.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
I remember when the first Batman came out. I suggested
they outfit the popemobile to look like the Batmobile something
to get the kid's attention, you know, and went over
like a turd in the punch bowl. I tried to
get the Pope to be a Grand Marshal in a
NASCAR event, deck out the popemobile like a real competition
vehicle get a sponsor, but apparently the pimply monk hard
Lemonade Sacramental Wine number seven car was not received like
(13:26):
at all?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Is there anything you don't like about it?
Speaker 6 (13:30):
You know what, there's only one thing. The hats a beanie,
Come on, what are we doing? A little rascals reboots
and that big cone hat. You know, I'm sure it
looks majestic, but it would it kill you to maybe
trying a ball cap? I mean, the new Pope is
from Chicago, right, sell ball caps at the gift shop
with dum.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Pope on it. Who's your favorite boat.
Speaker 6 (13:52):
Now, Darren?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
We'd real have to think about it.
Speaker 6 (13:54):
John Paul the Second JP Douce, Juan Pablo Dose, John Paul,
George Ringo, great guy Italian, sounded like Chico Marks.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
That's a no good.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
He really knew his way around a knock knock joke
and guess what a great dance really? Oh he could
merangue like nobody's business. And another tidbit he was a sleepwalker.
I gave him the nickname the Roman Catholic. Get it?
Speaker 10 (14:23):
So what now?
Speaker 6 (14:24):
Well, I'm gonna go back to Wisconsin for a few weeks.
Then back to the Vatican. I mean you never know, right.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Malcolm w Norbalist the stand in Pope, thanks for stopping by.
Speaker 6 (14:36):
You wouldn't happen to be in the market for forty
thousand bat Pope matchbox cars with that figures, I'll just
show myself out.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
Good morning. The big show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Well, I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Now.
Speaker 11 (14:54):
Like to listen to John Boy and Billy and that
they're big show. I like the way they talked. We're
funny ah hah, not funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I figured out why John Boy has a hard time
getting started in the morning.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
I ain't gotten the gaze.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Good morning. That's a big showing al radio.
Speaker 12 (15:49):
Well, just waiting shorts of it.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
The bread with old buds, Rent and lean On grilling
with legends, celebrating John Woe Miller, grilling sauce in your
local food Lion stores. Give you some the boys on
the sauce out. It's up there by the boys, Rent
and Leek. And it's the first talking about fun summer
songs because it just feels like it coming out of
(16:21):
Memorrow Day weekend. Oh look heart the boys looking ahead
for this dude from the Junior Nation band.
Speaker 8 (16:33):
Oh yeah, ladies and gentlemen, that your your nation man
is marginally proud to present a song wasting part on
the story that is true in part told in part
to a couple of cops that showed up red in
one part. You'll hear about that in a second. Anyway,
(16:59):
it went a little like this.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
We all went to this leg place on.
Speaker 8 (17:06):
By Delvert's cousin Fuzzy, to get back and.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Do some fishing.
Speaker 8 (17:16):
And get a little Fuzzy. We brung our bad and
tag of the haulis and a string of bass. The
boat tank was born dry and we didn't have enough
for gas.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
We was rolled on the water.
Speaker 8 (17:39):
And we was traumatized flat brow.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
On the water.
Speaker 8 (17:48):
Well it wasn't flat broke. I mean we did have
a bunch of Iroce core budweisers and most of the
car and the murmural lights left at that point, which
is why we didn't have no money to put gas
in the boat, So traumatized might be the wrong word. Anyway,
Marine gas is kind high, and money's being a little
(18:09):
tights blew our entire water on ice, cold beers and
the carton of Marlboro lights. And before you know, and
we'd run.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Slapped out door.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
We planned to do some fishing, but.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
We was too taped out to go. We was broke
on the water. Not a big surprise, slap broa on
the walk. Corse man ain't never broken, Clawns. He's got
(18:52):
wonderful friends. By his signe like my boy twitch on
the guitar over here, bring it up. We all down
(19:14):
to Bear twelve like a bunch of good old boys letting.
The cops rolled up and said, y'all pipe down, you're
making too much noise. We got a little mile there
and kind of got up in their face. The next
(19:36):
thing you know, we was locked up and we didn't get.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
To watch the race. We was rolled on the water.
Speaker 8 (19:48):
And they was empty tized flat roll on the water.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is mostly truth story of
our non fishing fishing trip, which goes to show you
that money ain't everything in life unless you have to
call you idiot present the baris say you getn't make bail,
(20:13):
But an old.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Forest cup used to say.
Speaker 8 (20:17):
Laugh, it's kind of like a box of chucklets you
can't tell it. The next one's gonna suck to You've
already got in there and took you a big gold back.
You don't like it, Spit it out and get another one.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Good morning, got a big show on the radio. I
hang over it. Link the barbecue song, the all encompassing
barbecue song of every type of barbecue sauce, that there
is none better than John Boyn Believe grilling sauce. You
(20:54):
all remember that while you're listening. Okay, first of a day,
about what you can win on worthy word is one
hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull Snot cleaning products
made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America moving, and
bullsnot make sure they look good doing it. You can
find bull Snout at truck stops across America. Download the
bull Snot app to just click on the banner the
(21:16):
Big Show dot Com. All right, red leg Any boys want.
Speaker 13 (21:20):
To in the mountains of Tennessee. They like the smoke
he sauce went over there in Old Man fast right
round rivers balls.
Speaker 10 (21:35):
The folks down at Georgia they can't pick up they rine.
You can get to those sweet hoarspics and they'll say
that taste all right, and you might make us out.
Speaker 13 (21:45):
Care really are just a little bit all which you
believe their barbecues yello with the mustard sauce mark shoulder.
Speaker 14 (21:54):
And not of choice indeed, and they ride themselves on
Barbelet's don't leave me in agreed losing an a mcg.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
They like a spiceter, they like a spicyitter.
Speaker 5 (22:12):
This is ar review.
Speaker 10 (22:17):
Barbcue in the Southern United States, and win, my mistery
burry me barbecue, but make sure it's vinegar maze.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
As you know, let's lose a game.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And this is out from our hosteave.
Speaker 15 (22:34):
Of North Carolina.
Speaker 7 (22:36):
Don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Nothing is being whiskey ducky.
Speaker 8 (22:57):
That's a lancy name machine.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
And the rest dynas day.
Speaker 15 (23:01):
It's like park Pyke's white the Arkansas kind of like
Georgia of barbecue, melt and pot when you ain't looking
at them. Good old boy, we'll make that start atue hot.
Alaman's got the strangest thing I seen him of barbecue days.
Speaker 7 (23:18):
And then barbicue s off his wife made out of
mayor names and.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Down in ISAs we're the lone board.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
See your row free. The looks for cam Redskin. It's
a big old slap.
Speaker 12 (23:32):
It down in Florida.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
It's born on the southern state.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Oh you.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
See his ivorgue.
Speaker 10 (23:46):
Barbecue in the seven You United States and winning My
Life History.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Mary Men, Barbecue people not round the side.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Ain't barbie.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
He means to own And that's something they're wrong about.
Speaker 4 (24:04):
Barbecue is not a bird, and barbecue is not a grill.
Speaker 8 (24:08):
Barbecue is meren in a married special way which varies
a minute on.
Speaker 4 (24:12):
Where you go.
Speaker 7 (24:14):
And was a review.
Speaker 10 (24:20):
Of barbicks.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
All right, y'all get that to the professionals. Work well,
let's play worthy word. Y'all won eight hundred big show
you told Free Line might have clicked that on their
contest wasn't can't get though Jackie might be calling you
se that are googing off on the phone.
Speaker 16 (24:45):
Again over there making prank phone calls. Contessa's will play
next Sweet and Miles or the Original or the.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Hot and Spicy, All flavors of John Boyn Grilling sauce
able in the sauce out of your local food line store.
Fire up the flavor with John Boyn Billy Grillon sauce
your backyard barbecue just met us new em deep who
wrote this. That's what I thought. Sound like something Carla
(25:39):
cook work. It's geechee, holl o your local food law.
We read in the planet.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
I think so that good I had. Everybody's about the bad.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
The wordy where they're a worthy where let's meet the contestants.
We got John from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Good morning, John, Good morning,
broth my man's John boy and John all right on
and look from Jackson, Mississippi. It's Ron, good morning, Ron morning,
(26:23):
Good morning John boy, John, Ron and Tatur and dogs. Hey,
oh Tater and Ron. All right, all right boys for
good luck. Ron, you relax me and John for the
first thirty seconds. Hi John, Let's see what we can
put on the board. We just got random words here,
(26:45):
random words all right, all right, okay, start the clock.
Now give me a blank sandwich has made? Has made
a pig of meat a blank and cheese a blank
in cheese cheese. Oh you just said it, ham and yes,
uh huh, gobble, Gobble says the.
Speaker 17 (27:09):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
My blank has the first name. What is it, little kids,
meat that you eat a blank sandwich?
Speaker 6 (27:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (27:17):
Blown?
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Oh, opposite of ketch up. The yellow stuff is.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Mustard.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
That's a boy, John, good work. Put a five on
the board. So let's see what Ron and Taylor can
do with their first thirty. Ron, are you ready? Yeah,
I'd worry about you and tyervi's you.
Speaker 6 (27:39):
That's just me.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Veterans older world records. Ma I can talk smacks. Oh yeah,
thank you, hie Rod. Here you go, buddy, we're starting
the clock now.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
You need two pieces of this to make a sandwich.
Speaker 6 (28:00):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
This is you might have a spear on the side
of your sandwich.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Dill is one.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Bread and butter is another.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
This is the red vegetable slash fruit that you make
ketchup with tomatos. The white stuff dukes is one. You
put this on your sandwich. You uh, this is another
another meat. It's like prime rib cooked really well, it's I.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yeah, okay, there's a buzzer. Let's see. Let's review one
of four on the board. Not quite a five, but
uh wait a minute, wait a minute, what's happening here? Mayonnaise.
Tater said mayonnaise.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I didn't say it.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
The collar said mayonnaise and is supposed to be mayo.
Uh huh oh okay, you see Lord the judge Jackie,
what do you say you're okay?
Speaker 3 (28:58):
I never said.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Okay, all right, so nice try ready, thanks, But so
there four or five hour, right, yeah, bread, pickled tomato,
your rock boy, those were Tuffy's rods. Okay, all right, John,
me and you. Let's just like Trump said, let's make
it too big to rig. All right here, buddy, all
(29:21):
we're big enough on that last one. Starting the clock. Now,
get this kind of sandwiches. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Okay,
the uh he is married to the queen, married to
the Yeah no, no, no, the queens. Okay, you light
the candles on your birthday. Yeah, let's go for a
(29:43):
five mile yeah, all right, let's set the blank for dinner,
set the uh huh, let's catch the chew chew. Yeah,
all right, that's the way to do it. John six
on that five and eleven. So now we sat back
(30:04):
and watch it and run. I'll take a seven, will
tie okay, okay, all right, jump on in there. Start
the clock.
Speaker 3 (30:15):
Now, you go to the dentist so he can work
on your uh you have yeah, but if you use
you use them, eat your face. You know, when you're
happy you do this you yes, yes, not a sister
but a.
Speaker 6 (30:33):
Brother.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Yeah, you listen to this on the radio.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
The sound of you stop stop to.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
Smell the what Okay, but all of them are called what.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yes. Oh, well that was a pretty good run out
short eleven of Forest John from Chatting nig up over
roll from Jackson.
Speaker 15 (30:57):
Run dog on it.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
You are player. I can sense. As I pointed out before,
I'm pretty good.
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Yeah it was eleven to eight just for the oh sorry.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Yeah, I gotta add the four on the four eight Okay, Ron,
We appreciate you, buddy, hope you have a great rest
of your day. I will all right, all right, enjoyed it, Ron,
Buddy John Chadanuga you hang on. Jackie can get your
prize back to you, buddy. Good work.
Speaker 7 (31:26):
Hey, can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Absolutely you miss shout out to my cousin Little Butts
and Selma and my fiance Jennie Anderson and Chattanooga. Well
I hear you. Many happen nuptials in your old place,
well said John. I'm going to finish the wording if
they put the sentenced together. Good Morning b Shows on
(31:52):
the radio biit request from NGO Tom wit High White High. Yeah,
that is like Tom white hair senior. Okay, guys, you
Tom from Canova, West Virginia. So Tom says, we need
to hear about the guy who hit a deer and
(32:14):
put it in his back seat. All right, we can
make that happen, can't with data?
Speaker 5 (32:18):
We can?
Speaker 3 (32:19):
All right, it's coming up next.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Good morning there. It is a big show on the radio.
And this is the time if you've heard something you
light to hear again. Set us up on the John
won't on the Facebook page, drive a line the mailbag
at the makeshow dot com like Tom white Hair saying everything,
Tom out of ton Noble, West Virginia, is your regreests?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Who?
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yes?
Speaker 10 (33:11):
Where is it?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
This is the ambulance emergency line. Do you have an emergency?
I mean a Bamland? Who is a juel? Okay, Joe,
where do you need it? I'm in my phone booth. Okay,
what's the address there? Old on? Okay, sir? Did you
come to nine one one?
Speaker 5 (33:32):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (33:32):
No, okay, Joe? I needed a location? What street are
you on?
Speaker 7 (33:37):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I'm in my phone booth to stop being go I'm
in this.
Speaker 9 (33:42):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
I'm into my stopping go on on? We minute? Where
hunting four roots in something in my stopping. Go that's
with corvillain. What hold uh.
Speaker 18 (34:04):
Yo?
Speaker 2 (34:05):
Uh huh have uh? Let me see coffee coffee cossie
cow seet. There you go, there you go. I'm in
the moth phone boat. I'm let me tell you what
I'm in the I'm going down.
Speaker 9 (34:20):
The maf road driving my car, mine and my own
guard some business, and am up deer and jumping out
and hit my car.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Okay, sir, you injured. Now, now let me tell you.
I get out and.
Speaker 7 (34:34):
Pack them off.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Deer up huh, I thought he's ted.
Speaker 9 (34:38):
I put them up from deer in my back seat
and I'm driving down the Mouth road to mine in
my own business.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Then I woke up and bit me in the back
of my guard neked and bit me in down and
kicked it out of my car. I'm into my phone boat.
The dead bit me in the neck. A big mouf
dog came up and beat me.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
In the leg.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
I hear him where the most tyron, and I stabbed him.
I stand him with my note. So I got a
hurt legg and the bear bit me in the neck,
and the deer and the dog wanted let me out
of my strong booth because he wants the deer. Okay, sir,
you injured my deer bit me in the neck.
Speaker 6 (35:19):
Hold on.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
The the motain dog is laid me old, No, I
forgot to get out of his MoU hold on the
most dog is laid in life.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Good morning, there's a big Jona radio. If you like
this drag for your keyword of the big box evil,
the words real and good.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
That's it.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
That's it, that's it.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
That's what said.
Speaker 7 (36:17):
Good morning, las rander.
Speaker 18 (36:22):
Missus Jackie, what up? Girl?
Speaker 1 (36:23):
You gotta going on as usual?
Speaker 7 (36:27):
Honestly?
Speaker 18 (36:27):
Since said hell?
Speaker 2 (36:28):
You know, people.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Always asking me for advice, and.
Speaker 18 (36:32):
Sometimes I give it, but you know, sometimes I politely decline.
A man must be very careful when he's giving people
advice on their lives, even a man of the cloth
like myself, and sometimes especially a man of the cloth
like myself.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
Can I give you some advice?
Speaker 9 (36:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (36:49):
Or hurry up get to it?
Speaker 18 (36:52):
Sometimes advice can have unintended consequences. I learned that the
hardware A few years back. Here's I have cool gool Johnson.
His wife came to him and said, Ralph Cuckoo done
fell off the wagon again. He's back drinking. I can't
talk no sense into him. He's spending so much money
at the liquor store. I can barely buy food for
the family.
Speaker 7 (37:11):
You my last hope.
Speaker 18 (37:13):
I be got and talked in to coming to church
with me on Sunday. Hoppy mighty obliged if you'd work
something in you're serving about the evils are drinking. I said, well, okay,
I'll be glad to So Sunday came. I look out there,
and there's Cuckoo and Miss Johnson sitting there in the pew,
and time come to pass the plate. And I said, well,
brothers and sisters, it's time to bring your tithes and
(37:34):
offerings to Father the work of the Lord. Now give
whatever you can afford to give. I don't expect you
to put in hundreds and thousands of dollars. That's the
sad thing about the way this wicked world works. The
richest people, the people that can afford to give the most,
are often the stingiest people you ever seen. Who is
the richest man in town. It's the man that owns
(37:55):
the liquor store. He'll take any about his money. In fact,
the man that owns the liquors, y'all will take a
man's last dollar out of his pocket. He lives high
in the hall, the biggest house in town, the liquor
man's house, best car in town, the liquor man's car,
the youngest, prettiest woman in.
Speaker 7 (38:12):
Town, the liquor man's wife.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
And who pays for.
Speaker 7 (38:16):
All this ill gotten prosperity?
Speaker 1 (38:18):
You do, brothers and sisters.
Speaker 7 (38:20):
Now y'all think on that.
Speaker 18 (38:22):
So next Sunday morning, Cuckoo and his wife is back
at the dilemma'clock service, and I'm shaking hair with folks
as they're leaving the service. Here comes Cuckoo up.
Speaker 7 (38:29):
He grabs up, shakes my hand.
Speaker 18 (38:31):
He says, reverendend it. I just want to say how
much I appreciated your message last Sunday. It gave me
a lot to think about. I want you to know
because of some of the things you said, I'm making
some big changes in my life. I said, really, I said, Cuckoo,
you mean you quit drinking? He said, no, without Monday
and bought liquor Star. God, y'all'll think before you speak,
(38:54):
And now please welcome the exception that proves the rule.
Speaker 7 (38:57):
Ladies and gentleman. Wow, this cool.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
That's I was.
Speaker 7 (39:02):
That's my that's my say, how docks is that can be?
I say, how much assist can be? Just right there
hates you know now, hoy Debord went over to Spade
last year on the vacation.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
I tell you what.
Speaker 7 (39:17):
Oh, Old Debord went out the side of he wanted
to go to a late night dinner. It was just
sitting there. So old Debord went out and he whatever
the house special was old to bid you? Deborah ordered that. Well,
the waiter brought him out. Uh big old plate had
potatoes old and had some cord and had two large
beady objects old it what two two bit beaty objects
(39:38):
olding you know like beat uh uh you know the
Who's album bead beady, big and bouncy. That's two big
o beat the objects on and never said hey, uh senior,
or what is this? And that waiter said those are cahodis.
Sidor says, what are cahodes? And uh waiter says, well,
(39:59):
cohodes are the testicles of the bull who lost at
the arena this afternoon. Pushed Hi back, said Wall. But
when he was informed that he had already paid for it,
and his goal had to pay for whether he ate
it or not, Debord decided, well, let me try this out.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Well, let into the hoes and he loved them.
Speaker 4 (40:18):
Oh it was good.
Speaker 7 (40:19):
So then the next like, never's telling hold about it.
So they went back out. Deborah ordered the House special. Uh,
I couldn't talk hold into it. Yeah, the way they
brought it out said it down, And Deborah said, what's
this and the waiter said as Cahody said your and
deb said, oh no, I had cahots yesterday and they
were a lot bigger than this. And the waiter said, well,
(40:40):
see your the bull does not lose every time you go.
You know that biggest seeding for the media.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Big Boxes.
Speaker 17 (40:54):
Here all your favorites from four decades of The Big
Show running nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine
by him once anywhere. You can shop the Big Box
online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 17 (41:05):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
If you missed any of the Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Boy Billy Lighton
Risers podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcasts
making easy, subscribe to us with a free I heart
Radio app love you mean it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
True Crime Tonight
If you eat, sleep, and breathe true crime, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT is serving up your nightly fix. Five nights a week, KT STUDIOS & iHEART RADIO invite listeners to pull up a seat for an unfiltered look at the biggest cases making headlines, celebrity scandals, and the trials everyone is watching. With a mix of expert analysis, hot takes, and listener call-ins, TRUE CRIME TONIGHT goes beyond the headlines to uncover the twists, turns, and unanswered questions that keep us all obsessed—because, at TRUE CRIME TONIGHT, there’s a seat for everyone. Whether breaking down crime scene forensics, scrutinizing serial killers, or debating the most binge-worthy true crime docs, True Crime Tonight is the fresh, fast-paced, and slightly addictive home for true crime lovers.