January 16, 2024 • 48 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, John Boy decides to make it all about Astronerd baby! .. You’re welcome..
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Good morning. You got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
More chance for you to win coming up after your news,
weather Sports.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
This is Donald Trump and you're listening to the big
show on the radio, John Boy and Billy. These guys
are tremendous right now. The number one John Boy and
Billy I've ever heard. And I know a lot of
John Boy and Billy, trust me, a tremendous amount of
John Boy and Billy's. And there's some smaller shows. But
this is the big show. It's the big show on
your radio. I think that's how John Boyce says, a
(00:32):
big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Good morning, and this big show on the radio, roll
it through your Tuesday morning. You don't got in mind
about the John Moore Milling Late Raisers podcast. You halfway
through the Big Show. Miagine how much you've already missed. Well,
you don't have to miss a word every day after
the broadcast the John Moore Billy Late Roisers Podcast up
(01:28):
Trunk Cayden for your listening pleasure.
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He gets you no way home, got a long drive better?
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There you go.
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We always have a.
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Set up for you when you hit the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Good morning, Big Show's on the radio, coming up.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
We played beat the Blonde Winter gets a Happy Herd
dries pack unless it's our blonde. Happy Herd makes the
highest quality of attractor's minerals and feed for deer, bear
and hogs and the honting the street. You're not using
happy Herd, You better hope your neighbors aren't either. Just
go to Big Show dot com if they're going to
Happy Herd Banter inter code JBB get twenty percent off
of checkout, hang on play for minutes. Where's back to
(02:13):
the astro nerd search of a comedy routine? Oh, this
can't miss. He's going deaf man bring am in. Ellie's
back again with an all new angle on his comedy career.
So you can't call him a quitter, which is a shame.
So let's bring it in, Astro Nerd. All right, Astro Nerd,
what is it this time?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yo? Yo, yo yo? What's up? My peete? Nerdric the
Entertainer and the.
Speaker 6 (02:39):
Hisile Nerdric the Entertainer post shinthel Rednithel.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Can I get a what what?
Speaker 5 (02:47):
What?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
There's two whats in a what what? JB? No? No,
what are you doing? Man?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
I'm down with the urban flash, hip hop flash, ethnic comedy,
vibe homes.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
How do you decide on that? I thought deaf comedy, jam,
deaf comedy jam, straight up? Yo? Did you notice anything unusual?
You know now that you mentioned it? I did.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
They swore an awful lot. I said something unusual. That's
a good one, Jay B.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Can I use that? Look?
Speaker 4 (03:21):
They're black astro dirt. All the comedians on that show
are black, and you're not black.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
That is off the his hook. How's that gonna work?
I'm not following you, pale face.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
You're white. I don't know anybody whiter than you. You're
so pale I can almost see through your skin. You're
so white you make Marcy look like Whoopy Goldbert who No,
no offense, Marcy.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
So how's this gonna work?
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Listen, chump, you better get out of macgrill before something
bad happens to you. Don't be hating because I'm innovating,
because I might have to pop a.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Crap in your booty cap See what now.
Speaker 6 (04:01):
It's cap, not crap. Pop a cap in your booty?
Why would I put a hat in someone's butt. You
are straight up tripping cracky Crackerson.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Okay, as long as you're here, you might as well
lay some of your material oders.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Here's my introduction for you to throw down Hankas Maximus.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Give it all right, brothers and sisters, get ready for
something good from the hood. The fresh Prince of Belmont,
the great white homie Nerdric the entertainer.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yo, yo, yo, yeah, yah yao. What's up? I said?
What up? What I's going on with white people?
Speaker 7 (04:44):
Yo?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Have you ever seen white people go shopping? White people
be shopping?
Speaker 8 (04:50):
Yo?
Speaker 6 (04:52):
They pushing that cart. It's time to purchase things we
don't need because we have all the money. You need
to do something with it. Who a copy of Carrot Tops,
Chairman of the Board, I'll take twenty. That's how white
people shop, yo. And here's the thing about white people
that drives me crazy.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Man.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
White people get that cart with the bad wheel, am
I lying?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
The one that goes wabble wha ba wah wobble, And
they don't get rid of it and get another one, yo,
they just keep pushing wabble wh b wah wah.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
I'm thinking about that from a catchphrase, What did I
do to deserve this?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They say? Wabble who wabba waba.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
You know what black people do when they get them carts?
We give them to white people. Here you go, ma'am,
let me offer you this shopping cart. See, that's why
black people don't go shopping. We just wait till you
put it in your car, and then we break in
and take it them.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Ah, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
And have you ever seen a white person in the
toilet always putting those paper donuts on the seat? I
hope I don't catch something from a black person happen? Man,
she likes ll cool JV. I'm getting to the good part.
You know where the conky conky gets a paper cut
on his you know.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Not the toilet stuff fashener and the black guy breaking
into cars stuff?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Man, why not?
Speaker 8 (06:14):
Why?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Why not? That's incredibly racist.
Speaker 6 (06:16):
Oh oh, I think it's all right to make fun
of white people in the toilet. But the minute I
make some colossal generalization about the lars and the tendencies
of a specific minority, I'm insensitive and I'm the bad guy. Yes, yeah, accomplished.
I like being the bad boy. Wow, there's two What
(06:37):
what's in a watch, johnre boy, you're.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Missing my poor You're not black, you can't say that stuff.
Speaker 6 (06:42):
But why is it okay for me to make fun
of white people because you're white?
Speaker 1 (06:47):
But black comics make fun of white people all the time.
That's different. Why is that different? It just is? Wow,
you just discombobulated my think a later.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Homeboy, Listen, I hate to say it, but the thing
time it is getting better.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Really, but you you just need to write gimmick. Guys.
It's just this this ain't it? Man? Well? That stinks?
Speaker 6 (07:09):
What am I gonna do with all these Your mama
so over weight jokes? Your mama throw over weight, She
don't skinny dip, she chunky dunks. Mama tho over weight,
she fell in love and broke it. Your mama tho
over weight when she goes to the ocean the whale thing?
Wait or sam a lady? That's gold jab gold. Sorry,
I don't know what to tell you. You're just too
(07:30):
well too white. I get that a lot. Yeah, well,
I see you later.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Well, what are you gonna work on now? My tan?
See you live? Waiter word? All right? Come on, y'all,
let's play beat the blonde. We got Taylor on the zoo.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Were gonna get a contestant, and we gonna do it
one ain't hundred Big show you told free Line. Also
remind you when you go to the Big Show dot
Com you click out the on air contest button. You
want to play with Tator and who doesn't you can't
get through, We'll call you do it next. Good morning,
(08:31):
It's a Big Show on the radio. Tuesday, January sixteenth,
twenty twenty four. Today's featuring track When the Big Show
Bitbox rev and good the Ten Commandments and the Preacher's
Bicycle at the glassic of the rev. Search for keyword
bicycle at the bit box at the Bigshow dot Com.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Right now, it's time for beat the Blonde. Ire Blonde
Mercy Tatum around, still only zoom from her home, she
continues to test the negative again.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Marcy, and our contestant is Mike from Humbolt, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Good morning, Mike, Good morning.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
How you got going?
Speaker 9 (09:19):
Man?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Well?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
We all right, we get into the sniffs, coughs, coviativity.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Of what we're living in these days. It's the music.
We can't do it. He just can't not interact.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
With it, like you know how to do this. If
you get two bells before you get two buzzers, you
are gonna win the big Old Happy Herd Prize Pack
Two out of three is what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Mike, say hey to marsh and Marshy. There's Mike from Humboldt.
How you doing, Marsh? I hope you get better, hope
you get better.
Speaker 9 (09:56):
I know I want to be sprung from jails.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Well, here we go, Mike. You listen to Tate. Tate here, Marci,
what a lizard spended about ninety percent of their lives
doing a lizard? Ninety percent of their lives? Other lizards, right,
but just being a lizard.
Speaker 9 (10:20):
No, other lizards?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
You think?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
So?
Speaker 9 (10:27):
No, I think, are you want an iguana? Honestly in
my past? And I say, they just they just sit
there and don't move.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
They just sit there, sit there, They just sit there
Fore of their lives, all right, So Mike, do you
agree or disagree?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Agree? And you are right? Yes, all right? You were
observing your iguana. She might observe the iguana or the track.
Did you feed them like flies and stuff?
Speaker 9 (11:05):
Tried? No, That's why I never moved another story for you.
I inherited from my brother. He went through. He went
through a lot. Yeah, well, crickets, all sources.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Work out, Mike. There that is one bail. If you
get one more bail, Mike, you win right here. So
let's move on from lizards to snakes. Oh, a python?
I know a python is a snake? What is a hyphonis?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Hyphoness is the way you pronounce that?
Speaker 9 (11:41):
Correct, That's a lady snake, a lady snake, my mistress.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Do you agree? Mister disagree? Disagree with that? And that
is the fing to do two bails rock and roll.
But I guess it is a witch.
Speaker 10 (12:04):
That's right as thus is a witch witch. Hello, yeah, hey,
Mike wants to get it worked out for you, buddy,
But gon happier and prize pack.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
We'll get it to you. Hang on for Jackie.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Can I give a shout out? You go ahead to
the Trenton Highway Department. All the guys I work.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
With, man man, don't just gonna name them, was getting
your chance. I appreciate you and you boys listening to
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Always, thank you. Sorry. I was just finishing up lead
the Blowe, one of my favorite songs.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Now then bottom of the hour and top of your
news on the other side on time got silver this
January sixteen.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 11 (13:43):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse Today's episode, Patrick
and Sister Mary. As our story opens, Gerald, Spanky O'Toole
is just opening up the Harry the Dog Pub in Dublin, Ireland.
Speaker 12 (14:00):
Cop in the morning to yus, Mike, Hey, howdy there, Patrick?
How long did doctor say you had to wear them
shoes here?
Speaker 8 (14:06):
Now?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I lock my shoes.
Speaker 12 (14:08):
You leave the match embraces at home? Did you last
time I seen a pair of legs like that? There
was a message to you to one of us.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Wow, why you gotta be so mean? True shirt? Don't
it so? You pouring yet? If you're paying, I'm pouring
fair enough. Sure's a beautiful more.
Speaker 12 (14:24):
And it is, And don't spoil it by trying to
make smart talk with me.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
All right, chuckles, Now that I don't enjoy your company,
But would you mind a took me drink outside and
sipped it in the sunshine on that bench out front?
Speaker 12 (14:35):
You would be sneaking out with me glass wear, would you?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I'd take something a bit nicer than this jelly jar
looking may turn to petty thievery. Look, I'm just gonna
be right outside the door here.
Speaker 12 (14:47):
Why don't you go pick a blutch at the pizza place,
rub me nose in it proper, all right?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Go ahead. Don't be trying to make conversation with people
as they walk by. I'm trying to a track businesses.
That's a pressing retin. You wouldn't sneak off with me glassware,
would you? Don't flatter yourself, your big dumb buzz killer.
(15:15):
Oh you heard that?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Say?
Speaker 13 (15:17):
Hey, you're talking to yourself?
Speaker 6 (15:18):
Are you there?
Speaker 13 (15:19):
Sonny?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Oh? Morning there you holiness.
Speaker 13 (15:22):
Sister is fine, son, I'm just a nun.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I ain't a poop. Oh, I'm taking your pardon. Beautiful day,
ain't it?
Speaker 9 (15:27):
And how would you know?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Just look at yourself.
Speaker 13 (15:30):
Not even ten o'clock in the morning here you are
numbing your senses with the demon rum.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Tain't ram it's whiskey. I it's the devil's gatorade.
Speaker 9 (15:38):
And it'll be the.
Speaker 13 (15:38):
Death of you one day.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Could y'all keep it down out there?
Speaker 5 (15:42):
It's like the.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Un here now, sister, don't the church turn a coldly out.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
You think your lips for numb.
Speaker 13 (15:54):
I can't understand the word you're.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I said here, Now that's what you said.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Don't the church turn a kindly eye on the occasional nip?
Speaker 13 (16:06):
Never so, but I don't trust me lad the sooner
you pull yourself away from whiskey.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But have you ever tried it yourself? Certainly not?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Well?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Now, ain't that kind of like writing a bad review
when you ain't even seen the play? What in the
world are you talking about? Question?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Well, it seems to me that even if you continue
to be opposed to drinking whiskey, you'd have a more
convincing argument if you actually had some experience with it.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Come on in now, buy you a glass.
Speaker 9 (16:42):
You're out of your mind.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I ain't setting footing inside the denevin of I don't know.
Speaker 9 (16:49):
I think I want to say iniquity.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Oh, then have yourself a pull off mine. I ain't
got nothing contagious.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
And you'd love that, wouldn't you?
Speaker 5 (17:01):
Me?
Speaker 13 (17:01):
Standing here in my nun's habit, Sharon SIPs with a
stranger like I was one of them little chippies over
there on Hanover Street.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
You're not giving me a whole lot to work with here, sister, me.
Speaker 13 (17:16):
All right, supposing you wants to get the bartender to
pour me a little teaste of that whiskey into a teacup.
That way, if anyone wants to come by they think
I was just sharing a cup of Earl Gray with
an acquaintance.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Fair enough, but don't move, all right, I'll be right back. Yes, indeed,
this could be a mighty interesting morning.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Hey, Spanky, I'll take a refilled Could you pour another
small one into a tea cup for me?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Oh? Is that no one hanging around out there again?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Hi?
Speaker 11 (17:53):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boyn Billy's International player record.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Later you're red again.
Speaker 11 (18:01):
Next time we hear the crusty old mother superior say, hey,
big man, let me hold.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It on, brilliant, thank you? Ever here all day, Shaun Bolliant.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
Dilly working to make the world just a little smiter.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Good morning, big show. It's on the radio, and let's
welcome marm and webster.
Speaker 11 (18:54):
Yoh, what's up?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
How we're doing? Good man?
Speaker 8 (18:56):
I appreciate y'all using me to salute doctor Martin Luther
King Junior. You know what that might seem odd to
some people that y'all are doing this today. But you know,
actually it is kind of appropriate because this show salutes
doctor King's dream every single day.
Speaker 11 (19:10):
You know what I mean? Around here, a man ain't judged.
Speaker 8 (19:13):
By the color of his skin, but by the quality
of his material. And I appreciate the fellas. You know.
Speaker 11 (19:20):
Something it hits me is weird.
Speaker 8 (19:21):
Mirtin Luther King was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee in nineteen
sixty eight. Right, you know why he was there. There
was a sanitation strike in Memphis, and he went there
to try to mediate the dispute between the city of
Memphis and the garbage workers. Okay, so I'm looking in
the paper. I got a list to all the closings
that are going on. I don't know how it is
(19:42):
where you live, but in our city reads like this.
The banks are closed, city offices close, libraries, closed, stock
market clothes, garbage collection regular schedule. Now what's up with that?
But are we still blaming these guys or something? And
you gonna check this out. I was looking to see
what was on the internet, so to speak, and they
(20:04):
got the keyword doctor Martin Luther King, and the screen
comes up and says, celebrate doctor Martin Luther King Jr.
Has got all kinds of pigeons and stuff. And they
have little buttons across the top says news, fun, Business.
And here's one that says shop. So you know, I
had to click on that and then it comes up
there selling African American books, African American clocks, T shirts,
(20:29):
skincare products. And here's one ergonomic keyboards. Ergonomic keyboards. Oh,
I see they come in black. Free at last, Free
at last, y'all think about it.
Speaker 11 (20:44):
I'm out the Webster.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Money Powell.
Speaker 6 (20:48):
When I'm driving the bus in the morning, I always
get the troublemakers.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
But I figure out how to get rid of them.
I crank up the ball. You'me on the Big Show
with John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 6 (20:58):
They are a half Riot and the crackheads hated.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Good morning.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
It's a big show on the radio your Tuesday morning.
John Mooy's Wonderful Things Giveaway number ninety one, Now go sports.
Bryce Young Heisman Trophy Commemorative Football. Got this football up
through the playoffs of the NFL. Give it away the
Friday before the Super Bowl is a real special little
playoff was keeping exclusive supplemental stats handwritten in sharpie by
(22:06):
yours truly. Well, the first seven of Bryce's NFL games,
actually one one kind of messed me up. So I
got two six's on their as you can see when
you view them.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
But let's not be his oividual fagritator. No, I wouldn't
want this. I think this will be worse money someday. Yeah,
what if if you had.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Registered to win it at the Big Show dot Com?
Good luck you crazy kids. Good morning, got a big
show on the radio. Azer Nerd tries again, this time
trying to go the ventriloquist route. Hang on first, I'll
tell you what somebody's gonna win when we play worthy
word a Southern East for riding pack. They heard all
(22:53):
about the great benefits of hemp, Well, now's the best
time to try with Southern East Trading Company. As as
not just a product, it's a way of life. Go
to the Big Show dot Com think on a Southern
East banner. Get twenty five percent off. Just use code
JBB at checkout while supplies last must.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Be twenty one to win. Hang out and play four
ten minutes first.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
All right, he's back in this time he's brought a suitcase.
That could be a good sign let's find out astron
once new in the wide.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
World of comedy. Nothing as usual, you're all too a
great star. What do you mean nothing?
Speaker 6 (23:32):
Well, basically, John Boy, thought been done before. But every
once in a while a comedy genius comes along and
put a new spin on a tired old act and
it becomes thresh and happening again. Do you have any examples? Well,
of course, we'll let it on me, Jeff did huh,
(23:52):
it's me. You Reube, You're the comedy genius to.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Dah read the introduction.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Oh ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together and welcome
a new voice in comedy, or should I say new voices?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Here? He is Astro Dunham. Oh no, you're a ventriloquist.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
Now, Hey, folks, who's ready to laugh? Thank you, Billy,
Thank I'm kind of lonely at here all by myself.
Let me bring on my partner, knucklehead rackly, dang it,
what's wrong?
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I can't get the suitcase open? Hold on.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
There, Oh man, hey, it looks like you. He's even
got a propeller on his hat.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Pretty sweet.
Speaker 6 (24:42):
Hun, Hey, knucklehead, how's it going better now that I'm
out of that fooitcast. Next time you put me next
to your underwear, make sure they're clean. Both were my
clean underwear. Next time you right in the seat? Cake Well, knucklehead,
(25:06):
anything exciting happening at home?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
My dad fell in the well. Two weeks ago? He
fell in the well. Is he all right?
Speaker 6 (25:14):
I guess though? He stopped screaming her help two days ago. So, knucklehead,
I see you stop biting your fingernails.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
How'd you do it? I quit using toilet pike control?
Speaker 6 (25:30):
Hey, speaking of that, what were you doing standing on
the toilet the other day? I wanted to see what
it was like to get high on pot. Now, knucklehead,
that's not funny.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
You got that right. Listen, jag.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
If you're not gonna get the whole effect of the material,
if you keep interrupting my flow.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Why are you still doing knucklehead's voice? Dang it? I
forgot I still knew it. This is the creepious looking
dummy i've ever seen.
Speaker 6 (26:02):
Hey, you'll heard his feelings. I wasn't talking about him.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Jab Can I use that? Yeah? No? Never put that
thing away? Does uh? What else you got there?
Speaker 4 (26:13):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (26:13):
Let's see, I've got r two pu, the flatulet Android.
I've got Manuel Labor, my crazy Mexican long guy. Yeah,
poor lot of dollars, the salty brothel, Madam Sheikh Ali
ben Affleck, the wacky mood look.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Anything a little edgier.
Speaker 6 (26:34):
Well, yeah, but I don't know if he's you know,
safe for radio. I usually save him for like bachelorette
parties and sweet sixteens.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And stuff like that. Well, let's risk it. You asked
for it.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Come on out and say hello, Purv Griffin, Hey, Hello,
gorgeous Hey, PERV. That's okay, I'll wait, Hey, PERV, do
(27:17):
you believe in puppy love?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Maybe?
Speaker 6 (27:20):
What's it looked like? Now, PERV, you shouldn't say that.
I'm an animal lover. I now I've seen the fixtures, Jackpie,
so PERV. I hear Barney Frank came to your Christmas party.
(27:42):
I told him, Hey, Barney, I'm sorry we ran out
of food, and he said, that's okay, I'm having a ball.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
That's not the punch line. You're you're doing it again.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
It Sorry, that's not the punchline. I was getting the
part where Anthony Wiener and Dick Army getting a spitting content.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Yeah, I think the put per Christina, get this roll.
You're not on a roll. You couldn't be on a
roll if you worked in a bakery. What what are
you writing down?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
I'm gonna use that joke for another one of my characters.
You like him. His name is we targ Crazy little Midge.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
I think this might be a good place to wrap
this up. Are you sure you want to keep doing this?
You know you are terrible.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Oh, everybody says that my haters motivators.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
What does spooky nuggle ahead? Rackley pumping away? I can't
tell which one is a dubby man.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
I could take off his hand, just take off period.
All right, I'll be back.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Hey, that wasn't bad.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Got time for a few impressions the big show audience, audience.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
In the world. Well what now? Forgot my sick case?
All right? No trying my work as an insult comic.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
He will try that before we get out of here
on Tuesday. Alright, Well, let's play on some wordy word
one eight hundred big show you told free line across America.
We'll get a couple of contestants and play next. Good morning,
(29:42):
there's a big show on the radio running. Do your
Tuesday today's feature track from the Big Show, Big Box
revn Goom, the Ten Commandments and the Preacher's Bicycle. This
glasic Man search stri keyword bicycle. Here's a big box
at the Big.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Show dot Com. Right now, let's play.
Speaker 11 (30:02):
I had everybody's head about the bad.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
The word, any word of the worthy word.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Let's meet our contestants. We got Kevin from Belton, South Carolina.
Good morning, Kevin, morning, John boy, how you doing, hey, buddy,
We're all good. Welcome. And we got Dwayne from Tyler, Texas.
Good morning, Dwayne. Hey, we're all good.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
All right, welcome boys Texas versus South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Dwain us, Kevin, Kevin, us Dwayne. Y'all say hey, y'all
Big Show listeners.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
Got something in common Westens out here?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Is that right?
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Where are you doing there? Dwayne in Texas? We just
went on again down there. We had to get you
up there, buddy. Yeah, yeah, So so what do you do?
Just randomly dial phone numbers and hope you you must
have been at the Big Show dot Com website checking
(31:01):
us out.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yeah, then show all right, awesome.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
Man, all right, we'll glad you heared the way you
made it and were your troubles. You were on the
team of Tater, all right, Tater and Dwayne.
Speaker 9 (31:14):
You don't know, maybe he picked it, all right, I know.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Me and Kevin go on team up and see what
we can do. So Dwayne, you would tell you relax,
me and Kevin to go for the first thirty seconds,
I CA have.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
You ready, I'm ready?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
All right, start the clock now. If you don't go
to heaven, you go to hell. Uh huh rhymes with it.
A jail what they lock you up? Yeah, uh, rhymes
with it, don't buy I do this.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Right? Yeah, rhymes with it. Show and til yeah, rhymes
with it. Don't fall down.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
Thee where you get water where you won't get water?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
All right, more fault. Now this is what you live
a wait, it's called what a dumb bail?
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Oh you were so close with that. But let's say
what we end up with a five on the board.
Good work, Kevin or the five?
Speaker 1 (32:11):
All right? Then and now, Dwayne, you are up with
miss Marcy. So Marcie you already, d Wayne? Okay, Jack,
you got it up there. Taya can see all right? Ready,
go all right.
Speaker 9 (32:30):
It's a weight that you live with. Your your do
curls with it.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Called uh huh a blank?
Speaker 9 (32:37):
What kind of it rhymes?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Bar?
Speaker 9 (32:39):
What you ring this the door? What you say it
ring a door? Yes, so say the two words together.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
Dumb bail not dumb?
Speaker 9 (32:52):
You eat it? You eat a candy?
Speaker 1 (32:53):
What a candy?
Speaker 4 (32:54):
Blake?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Here you go, bar bill? Yeah, I go? You put
why not?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Ended up with a two? Score a two on the board.
All right, you broke the seal. So let's see what
me and Kevin do on round two. All right, when
you stay there, Kevin, are you ready and go? You
make drinks in this? You put it in crush his eyes?
Whoa like I make a you put put the ice
(33:26):
cream ice in? Uh yeah, kind of like that together. Yeah,
that's it all right.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
You do this when you need a hole to put
a screw in hand me that real? Yeah? Uh huh?
All right. You use this to pour oil in your
in your thing in your car so it doesn't spill.
It's the thing, it's just pour Its a big at
the first, it's big. Yes, all right, Kevin? That was
(33:54):
all you bought after dumbing over there?
Speaker 11 (33:55):
What all?
Speaker 1 (33:56):
We get right there? And Tate put a three on
that five four and eight?
Speaker 8 (33:59):
All right?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
An eight? So Dwayne and Taylor. All you need is
six to tie, all right, all right, okay, all right,
Dwayne you ready, buddy, Yeah, I'm all try Okay, me too, okay,
and go all.
Speaker 9 (34:15):
Right the card game where you try to get twenty
one black cat. Yes, yes, sir, you do this. You
pull this out of your head, your kids, put it
under your pillow.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
Okay, yep.
Speaker 9 (34:27):
This is the holiday when the Lord, when Jesus has risen.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Uh Eastern lam.
Speaker 9 (34:35):
This is a clam blank, it's a soup. It's white clam.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Chat.
Speaker 9 (34:41):
Yes, six, this is this guy pulls a rabbit out
of his hat. What is he doing?
Speaker 8 (34:46):
He's doing?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Oh? Y'all ended up with a six only two short.
A great run at it, but Kevin wins. You try them,
all right? Well, Dwayne down Tyler, Texas. Man appreciate you playing.
You can try again.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Anytime, man, sure man, all right, buddy, Thank you boy, Kebby.
Look at you down Belton winning the big Old Southern
East Riding Pack for your victory grid job my man. Alrighty,
thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Good morning. Big show's on the radio.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Requested bit time here alright, Taya pulled one of the
wall looks like Frank Phillip says, Hey, guys and goals,
like to make a request to here, married man y'all
rock well, Frank, you got it.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
My boy coming up next good morning is to make
(36:07):
sure the radio Tuesday, January sixteenth, requested bit for today.
Frank Phillips sing o, rak.
Speaker 5 (36:23):
My ridman, my ridman drives around in a manly van
god a wife.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
And some kids.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
It's whole life on the skids. Hey, there there goes
the married man.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
How's he feel?
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Listen, dude, this sport guy's.
Speaker 7 (36:41):
Really screwed hanging on. Buy a bread cord of milk,
loaf of bread.
Speaker 5 (36:46):
Hay. There there goes a married man, got a big
gas will, buys.
Speaker 7 (36:53):
His clothes at the gap, and he's just about hanging
on for.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
This cry man, met man, man me mand fend the neighborhood.
Speaker 7 (37:04):
Married bande has no single life on leggin Do what
the she says? It's how about time he grew Well,
there's a screw you don't find them.
Speaker 11 (37:16):
Married mane as a starry alpins, married man as hot
at work at the office. Oh okay, sorry, I had
to take another call. Now where were we?
Speaker 5 (37:25):
Oh?
Speaker 11 (37:26):
All right? Quartermilk a loaf of bread and what craft
light singles?
Speaker 6 (37:31):
I got worried. Man.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
I want to have a word with you right now.
Speaker 11 (37:38):
Good morning, mister Smuthers. Can you hold on just a moment? No, no, no,
I said, thirty thousand and not a penny less call
me if you change your mind. Sorry about that, chief.
What can I do for you?
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Do you know what this is?
Speaker 11 (37:51):
It looks like the monthly production report.
Speaker 14 (37:54):
Of dreams tackling what it is? Take a look at it?
Notice anything unusual?
Speaker 11 (37:58):
M It's like we've changed to a heavier off white
paper stock.
Speaker 14 (38:02):
No, open your eyes, man, Look at those lines mark
with a yellow highlighter.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
What do you see?
Speaker 11 (38:09):
They're on my account?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
That's right. How long have you been with a.
Speaker 11 (38:13):
Company twenty two years, sir?
Speaker 14 (38:15):
Well, I started this company thirty five years ago, and
in all that time, I've never seen anything like this.
I've gone over these figures over and over again, and
I still don't understand it.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Maybe you can help me out with something.
Speaker 11 (38:32):
What's that, sir?
Speaker 14 (38:33):
How could a man who's been here for twenty two years,
without ever attracting any attention to himself whatsoever, exceed his
monthly quota by over two hundred percent.
Speaker 11 (38:43):
I'm sure there's a simple explanation. What did you say?
Speaker 14 (38:47):
Congratulations, married man, you're the Smithers Industry salesman of the month.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
I can't believe.
Speaker 14 (38:57):
Congratulations son, here's your official self was one of them
on the plaque.
Speaker 11 (39:02):
Thank you, sir. I really really don't know what to say.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
And now I believe one of our young ladies from
accounting has another special presentation for you. Hello, married man,
I'm Dusty. Nice.
Speaker 11 (39:15):
Nice to meet you. Dusty, do you like my outfit?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Well?
Speaker 11 (39:18):
To tell you the truth that that blouse you're wearing
seems just a little bit low cut now according to
the way I understand the dress code. You know, well,
I didn't mean for you.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
What are you doing? What Dusty?
Speaker 8 (39:34):
Is it?
Speaker 11 (39:35):
You see that fellow standing over there? He's the owner
of the company. H mister Smithers. I have no idea
what's going on here? And olden my goodness, So I
don't believe i've seen you around before. How long have
you been in accounting?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
She's from Red Hot Stripping Grams.
Speaker 11 (39:53):
You more ron get it? You don't really work here.
You just said that, and you've got and take your clothes.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Married man, don't forget to breathe.
Speaker 9 (40:07):
Are you having a good time?
Speaker 11 (40:10):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (40:11):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (40:12):
So?
Speaker 11 (40:12):
Uh have you seen that movie Show Girls?
Speaker 8 (40:15):
Bye here?
Speaker 11 (40:16):
It's quite accurate in a lot of ways. To be
honest with you, I don't really have much experience with
this kind of thing. I'm sure you're a very nice girl.
This is probably something you're doing to I don't know,
work your way through school or something. You know, I
hear a lot of girl.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Wow.
Speaker 11 (40:31):
You know that's really quite amazing. You know, you would
think they would both spend in the same direction.
Speaker 7 (40:36):
Very man line one.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
It's your Why.
Speaker 11 (40:39):
Dusty it? Could you excuse me for just a second.
I really kind of need.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
To take this call.
Speaker 11 (40:45):
Hello, Hi, honey, I'm kind of busy right now. What
Uh yeah, it is kind of noisy in here. I
think they're having trouble with the musac or something. Huh
let me see. Uh yeah, craft light singles, I did
get it. Yes, I think all the Kraft Light products
are individually wrapped. I'll double check this. Okay, what No,
(41:08):
everything's fine. Why do you ask I sound distracted. Well,
I'm just kind of busy.
Speaker 7 (41:16):
You know.
Speaker 11 (41:16):
Things are great. In fact, this is one of the
breast days of my life. I mean the best days
of my life. No, no, I wasn't really really talking
to you, desk what Oh rusty guy from accounting he's
in here talking about something. Oh listen nothing, I need
to run. I'm getting a little behind here, A little behind. No, no, no, no,
(41:38):
I mean rusty. Listen, honey, I gotta go. The boss
just came in and dumped some hot stuff in my lap.
I mean, some important stuff in my lap. I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Huh me too, I did say it, Okay, okay.
Speaker 11 (41:52):
I love you. Yes, really, it wouldn't matter if there
was a busty twenty two year old blonde wiggling or
rear and you could daunce a quarter off of right
in my face. No, no, that's that time I was
talking to you. I mean I gotta go, honey. By married, well,
(42:13):
you just got to know how to handle them, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (42:15):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (42:15):
Yeah, married man?
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Line too? Is your wife again?
Speaker 11 (42:20):
Hold on a second, guys, I guess she misses me already. Hello, Yes, honey,
what you checked my employee phone list? And and there's
nobody named Rusty in the accounting department? Well, holiday rock
in a hot place? How will I lawfully wed. It here,
(42:41):
I'll get out of this one for the answer killed
and again next time, same married time, same married channel.
Speaker 7 (42:49):
Love you'll find them married none.
Speaker 4 (43:17):
Good morning, it's a mix sew on the radio and
in this broadcast.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Make room for the podcast John.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
Women end Raisers Podcastsmen of this show. It's been fun
with astro Nerd. It can make us laugh.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Before we go.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
Well, the world is in a sorry state these days,
and we're about to make it worse, much much worse.
How you may ask, Well, here is astro Nerds.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Thanks for the invite, John Boy, I didn't invite you,
you just showed up. You're welcome, and don't worry.
Speaker 6 (43:57):
I'm not going to tell any fale old jokes I've
taken in my act in another all new direction.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Out of the door.
Speaker 6 (44:04):
That's a good one, stealing. No meet astro Nerd. Insult comic. Really,
I've trying to find something that would force me to
stretch my hilarious wings.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
So and you chose insult comedy.
Speaker 6 (44:19):
Well, it's not easy for me. See I'm not a
mean spirited person. I try not to say hurtful things.
I don't get my jolly's being unspeakably cruel and unkind, like, Randy.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Wait, what's this all about?
Speaker 6 (44:35):
Every time I want to come on the show and
inform and educate your listeners in all things astronomical, he
gives me the breeze. He says I'm a ratings killer,
says the listeners aren't interested, says that I'm some sort
of know it all, says I.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Talk way too long. Well, Randy, I'm not talking. I
was saying that Randy is executive producer and he's supposed
to make that call. Yeah, but does he have to
say it so so dang?
Speaker 8 (45:03):
Mean?
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Well, like what?
Speaker 6 (45:04):
Oh well, he says stuff like no, keep talking, I
always yawned when I'm interested, or or let's play horse,
I'll be the front end. You be yourself, or or
take a mental note. No, never mind, I see you're
out of paper. That kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Mean well, as Oliver says, are you gonna let him
talk to you like that?
Speaker 6 (45:27):
That's why I'm here. I'm really gonna give him the business.
All right, Well, Randy, you asked for it. Go ahead, Nerd.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
George beating, handsweating, Okay, here goes hey, Randy.
Speaker 6 (45:42):
Darryl Gretch called he wants his pants back who is
Darryl Gretch? Oh he's this guy.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
I know. He wears fancy pants all the time, just
like Randy. Well, it doesn't make any sense. No one
knows who he is. Oh, okay, right, Hey Randy, nice
pants taboo? Try something like, Hey, Randy, nice fans? Is
it gay bingo night? Hey? Stealing?
Speaker 6 (46:07):
Okay, try something else? All right, Hey, Randy nice shirt?
Is it gay bingo night cape? Forget the clothes. That's
gonna cut my acting half.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Just keep going.
Speaker 6 (46:20):
Hey, Randy, burt backrack called he wants his hair back boom,
suck up?
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Kind of weak? Dang it?
Speaker 6 (46:29):
Okay, Hey Randy, if you're so smart, how come you
don't what's wrong?
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I went off script? I can't think anything. Well, try
something else. Hey, Billy nice glasses. It's terrible. No, I
really like his glasses. Awful Bill?
Speaker 6 (46:50):
Okay, smarty pants, you know so much, my ball cat,
young friend?
Speaker 1 (46:53):
What would you say.
Speaker 4 (46:55):
On the top of my head? Are you the first
in your family to be born without a tail?
Speaker 8 (47:00):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (47:00):
Before you came along, we're hungry, now we're fed up.
Let me guess the aliens forgot to take out the
antal probe per. Do you want me to accept you
as you are? Or do you want me to like you?
You're a difficult man to forget, but well worthy effort.
What I used to think you were a pain in
(47:20):
the neck, but now I have a much lower opinion
of you.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Yeah, man, Randy, I'm sitting right here. That was to you?
By what der? Why are you so mean? It's mind
over matter. I don't mind because you don't matter, Steale
and Scent. Don't you mean? Than?
Speaker 8 (47:42):
No?
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Sent because you stink? Jie, You're on a road, Staley. Well,
I gotta get my notes out here.
Speaker 6 (47:51):
There's lot's taken in the immortal words the Arnold Schwarzenegger
in the Terminator, I shall return or something.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Damn it?
Speaker 6 (48:02):
Never mind.
Speaker 11 (48:05):
Bit boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine and buy them once, play them anywhere, find
your faves and roll your own playlist. Right now at
the Big Show dot com. You can order JBMB stuff,
T shirts, hats, and we don't know what call by
calling Donnie at the Big Show Warehouse. The number is
eight hundred and four seven to one. Stuff online services
(48:28):
by Animink dot com Ai.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Y'all have great rest of your day. We love you
and we mean it.
Good morning. You got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
More chance for you to win coming up after your news,
weather Sports.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
This is Donald Trump and you're listening to the big
show on the radio, John Boy and Billy. These guys
are tremendous right now. The number one John Boy and
Billy I've ever heard. And I know a lot of
John Boy and Billy, trust me, a tremendous amount of
John Boy and Billy's. And there's some smaller shows. But
this is the big show. It's the big show on
your radio. I think that's how John Boyce says, a
(00:32):
big show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Good morning, and this big show on the radio, roll
it through your Tuesday morning. You don't got in mind
about the John Moore Milling Late Raisers podcast. You halfway
through the Big Show. Miagine how much you've already missed. Well,
you don't have to miss a word every day after
the broadcast the John Moore Billy Late Roisers Podcast up
(01:28):
Trunk Cayden for your listening pleasure.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
He gets you no way home, got a long drive better?
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Wherever you get your podcast, you make it easy. Subscribe
to us with a free iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 5 (01:40):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
We always have a.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Set up for you when you hit the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Good morning, Big Show's on the radio, coming up.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
We played beat the Blonde Winter gets a Happy Herd
dries pack unless it's our blonde. Happy Herd makes the
highest quality of attractor's minerals and feed for deer, bear
and hogs and the honting the street. You're not using
happy Herd, You better hope your neighbors aren't either. Just
go to Big Show dot com if they're going to
Happy Herd Banter inter code JBB get twenty percent off
of checkout, hang on play for minutes. Where's back to
(02:13):
the astro nerd search of a comedy routine? Oh, this
can't miss. He's going deaf man bring am in. Ellie's
back again with an all new angle on his comedy career.
So you can't call him a quitter, which is a shame.
So let's bring it in, Astro Nerd. All right, Astro Nerd,
what is it this time?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yo? Yo, yo yo? What's up? My peete? Nerdric the
Entertainer and the.
Speaker 6 (02:39):
Hisile Nerdric the Entertainer post shinthel Rednithel.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
Can I get a what what?
Speaker 5 (02:47):
What?
Speaker 1 (02:48):
There's two whats in a what what? JB? No? No,
what are you doing? Man?
Speaker 6 (02:53):
I'm down with the urban flash, hip hop flash, ethnic comedy,
vibe homes.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
How do you decide on that? I thought deaf comedy, jam,
deaf comedy jam, straight up? Yo? Did you notice anything unusual?
You know now that you mentioned it? I did.
Speaker 6 (03:13):
They swore an awful lot. I said something unusual. That's
a good one, Jay B.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Can I use that? Look?
Speaker 4 (03:21):
They're black astro dirt. All the comedians on that show
are black, and you're not black.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
That is off the his hook. How's that gonna work?
I'm not following you, pale face.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
You're white. I don't know anybody whiter than you. You're
so pale I can almost see through your skin. You're
so white you make Marcy look like Whoopy Goldbert who No,
no offense, Marcy.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
So how's this gonna work?
Speaker 6 (03:47):
Listen, chump, you better get out of macgrill before something
bad happens to you. Don't be hating because I'm innovating,
because I might have to pop a.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Crap in your booty cap See what now.
Speaker 6 (04:01):
It's cap, not crap. Pop a cap in your booty?
Why would I put a hat in someone's butt. You
are straight up tripping cracky Crackerson.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Okay, as long as you're here, you might as well
lay some of your material oders.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
Here's my introduction for you to throw down Hankas Maximus.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
Give it all right, brothers and sisters, get ready for
something good from the hood. The fresh Prince of Belmont,
the great white homie Nerdric the entertainer.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yo, yo, yo, yeah, yah yao. What's up? I said?
What up? What I's going on with white people?
Speaker 7 (04:44):
Yo?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Have you ever seen white people go shopping? White people
be shopping?
Speaker 8 (04:50):
Yo?
Speaker 6 (04:52):
They pushing that cart. It's time to purchase things we
don't need because we have all the money. You need
to do something with it. Who a copy of Carrot Tops,
Chairman of the Board, I'll take twenty. That's how white
people shop, yo. And here's the thing about white people
that drives me crazy.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
Man.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
White people get that cart with the bad wheel, am
I lying?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
The one that goes wabble wha ba wah wobble, And
they don't get rid of it and get another one, yo,
they just keep pushing wabble wh b wah wah.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
I'm thinking about that from a catchphrase, What did I
do to deserve this?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
They say? Wabble who wabba waba.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
You know what black people do when they get them carts?
We give them to white people. Here you go, ma'am,
let me offer you this shopping cart. See, that's why
black people don't go shopping. We just wait till you
put it in your car, and then we break in
and take it them.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Ah, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
And have you ever seen a white person in the
toilet always putting those paper donuts on the seat? I
hope I don't catch something from a black person happen? Man,
she likes ll cool JV. I'm getting to the good part.
You know where the conky conky gets a paper cut
on his you know.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Not the toilet stuff fashener and the black guy breaking
into cars stuff?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Man, why not?
Speaker 8 (06:14):
Why?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Why not? That's incredibly racist.
Speaker 6 (06:16):
Oh oh, I think it's all right to make fun
of white people in the toilet. But the minute I
make some colossal generalization about the lars and the tendencies
of a specific minority, I'm insensitive and I'm the bad guy. Yes, yeah, accomplished.
I like being the bad boy. Wow, there's two What
(06:37):
what's in a watch, johnre boy, you're.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Missing my poor You're not black, you can't say that stuff.
Speaker 6 (06:42):
But why is it okay for me to make fun
of white people because you're white?
Speaker 1 (06:47):
But black comics make fun of white people all the time.
That's different. Why is that different? It just is? Wow,
you just discombobulated my think a later.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
Homeboy, Listen, I hate to say it, but the thing
time it is getting better.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Really, but you you just need to write gimmick. Guys.
It's just this this ain't it? Man? Well? That stinks?
Speaker 6 (07:09):
What am I gonna do with all these Your mama
so over weight jokes? Your mama throw over weight, She
don't skinny dip, she chunky dunks. Mama tho over weight,
she fell in love and broke it. Your mama tho
over weight when she goes to the ocean the whale thing?
Wait or sam a lady? That's gold jab gold. Sorry,
I don't know what to tell you. You're just too
(07:30):
well too white. I get that a lot. Yeah, well,
I see you later.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Well, what are you gonna work on now? My tan?
See you live? Waiter word? All right? Come on, y'all,
let's play beat the blonde. We got Taylor on the zoo.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
Were gonna get a contestant, and we gonna do it
one ain't hundred Big show you told free Line. Also
remind you when you go to the Big Show dot
Com you click out the on air contest button. You
want to play with Tator and who doesn't you can't
get through, We'll call you do it next. Good morning,
(08:31):
It's a Big Show on the radio. Tuesday, January sixteenth,
twenty twenty four. Today's featuring track When the Big Show
Bitbox rev and good the Ten Commandments and the Preacher's
Bicycle at the glassic of the rev. Search for keyword
bicycle at the bit box at the Bigshow dot Com.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Right now, it's time for beat the Blonde. Ire Blonde
Mercy Tatum around, still only zoom from her home, she
continues to test the negative again.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Marcy, and our contestant is Mike from Humbolt, Tennessee.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Good morning, Mike, Good morning.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
How you got going?
Speaker 9 (09:19):
Man?
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Well?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
We all right, we get into the sniffs, coughs, coviativity.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Of what we're living in these days. It's the music.
We can't do it. He just can't not interact.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
With it, like you know how to do this. If
you get two bells before you get two buzzers, you
are gonna win the big Old Happy Herd Prize Pack
Two out of three is what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Mike, say hey to marsh and Marshy. There's Mike from Humboldt.
How you doing, Marsh? I hope you get better, hope
you get better.
Speaker 9 (09:56):
I know I want to be sprung from jails.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Well, here we go, Mike. You listen to Tate. Tate here, Marci,
what a lizard spended about ninety percent of their lives
doing a lizard? Ninety percent of their lives? Other lizards, right,
but just being a lizard.
Speaker 9 (10:20):
No, other lizards?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
You think?
Speaker 5 (10:26):
So?
Speaker 9 (10:27):
No, I think, are you want an iguana? Honestly in
my past? And I say, they just they just sit
there and don't move.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
They just sit there, sit there, They just sit there
Fore of their lives, all right, So Mike, do you
agree or disagree?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Agree? And you are right? Yes, all right? You were
observing your iguana. She might observe the iguana or the track.
Did you feed them like flies and stuff?
Speaker 9 (11:05):
Tried? No, That's why I never moved another story for you.
I inherited from my brother. He went through. He went
through a lot. Yeah, well, crickets, all sources.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Work out, Mike. There that is one bail. If you
get one more bail, Mike, you win right here. So
let's move on from lizards to snakes. Oh, a python?
I know a python is a snake? What is a hyphonis?
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Hyphoness is the way you pronounce that?
Speaker 9 (11:41):
Correct, That's a lady snake, a lady snake, my mistress.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Do you agree? Mister disagree? Disagree with that? And that
is the fing to do two bails rock and roll.
But I guess it is a witch.
Speaker 10 (12:04):
That's right as thus is a witch witch. Hello, yeah, hey,
Mike wants to get it worked out for you, buddy,
But gon happier and prize pack.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
We'll get it to you. Hang on for Jackie.
Speaker 5 (12:20):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Can I give a shout out? You go ahead to
the Trenton Highway Department. All the guys I work.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
With, man man, don't just gonna name them, was getting
your chance. I appreciate you and you boys listening to
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Always, thank you. Sorry. I was just finishing up lead
the Blowe, one of my favorite songs.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Now then bottom of the hour and top of your
news on the other side on time got silver this
January sixteen.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 11 (13:43):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse Today's episode, Patrick
and Sister Mary. As our story opens, Gerald, Spanky O'Toole
is just opening up the Harry the Dog Pub in Dublin, Ireland.
Speaker 12 (14:00):
Cop in the morning to yus, Mike, Hey, howdy there, Patrick?
How long did doctor say you had to wear them
shoes here?
Speaker 8 (14:06):
Now?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
I lock my shoes.
Speaker 12 (14:08):
You leave the match embraces at home? Did you last
time I seen a pair of legs like that? There
was a message to you to one of us.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Wow, why you gotta be so mean? True shirt? Don't
it so? You pouring yet? If you're paying, I'm pouring
fair enough. Sure's a beautiful more.
Speaker 12 (14:24):
And it is, And don't spoil it by trying to
make smart talk with me.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
All right, chuckles, Now that I don't enjoy your company,
But would you mind a took me drink outside and
sipped it in the sunshine on that bench out front?
Speaker 12 (14:35):
You would be sneaking out with me glass wear, would you?
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I'd take something a bit nicer than this jelly jar
looking may turn to petty thievery. Look, I'm just gonna
be right outside the door here.
Speaker 12 (14:47):
Why don't you go pick a blutch at the pizza place,
rub me nose in it proper, all right?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Go ahead. Don't be trying to make conversation with people
as they walk by. I'm trying to a track businesses.
That's a pressing retin. You wouldn't sneak off with me glassware,
would you? Don't flatter yourself, your big dumb buzz killer.
(15:15):
Oh you heard that?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Say?
Speaker 13 (15:17):
Hey, you're talking to yourself?
Speaker 6 (15:18):
Are you there?
Speaker 13 (15:19):
Sonny?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Oh? Morning there you holiness.
Speaker 13 (15:22):
Sister is fine, son, I'm just a nun.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I ain't a poop. Oh, I'm taking your pardon. Beautiful day,
ain't it?
Speaker 9 (15:27):
And how would you know?
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Just look at yourself.
Speaker 13 (15:30):
Not even ten o'clock in the morning here you are
numbing your senses with the demon rum.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Tain't ram it's whiskey. I it's the devil's gatorade.
Speaker 9 (15:38):
And it'll be the.
Speaker 13 (15:38):
Death of you one day.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Could y'all keep it down out there?
Speaker 5 (15:42):
It's like the.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Un here now, sister, don't the church turn a coldly out.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
You think your lips for numb.
Speaker 13 (15:54):
I can't understand the word you're.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I said here, Now that's what you said.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Don't the church turn a kindly eye on the occasional nip?
Speaker 13 (16:06):
Never so, but I don't trust me lad the sooner
you pull yourself away from whiskey.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But have you ever tried it yourself? Certainly not?
Speaker 4 (16:15):
Well?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Now, ain't that kind of like writing a bad review
when you ain't even seen the play? What in the
world are you talking about? Question?
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Well, it seems to me that even if you continue
to be opposed to drinking whiskey, you'd have a more
convincing argument if you actually had some experience with it.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Come on in now, buy you a glass.
Speaker 9 (16:42):
You're out of your mind.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I ain't setting footing inside the denevin of I don't know.
Speaker 9 (16:49):
I think I want to say iniquity.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Oh, then have yourself a pull off mine. I ain't
got nothing contagious.
Speaker 9 (17:00):
And you'd love that, wouldn't you?
Speaker 5 (17:01):
Me?
Speaker 13 (17:01):
Standing here in my nun's habit, Sharon SIPs with a
stranger like I was one of them little chippies over
there on Hanover Street.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
You're not giving me a whole lot to work with here, sister, me.
Speaker 13 (17:16):
All right, supposing you wants to get the bartender to
pour me a little teaste of that whiskey into a teacup.
That way, if anyone wants to come by they think
I was just sharing a cup of Earl Gray with
an acquaintance.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Fair enough, but don't move, all right, I'll be right back. Yes, indeed,
this could be a mighty interesting morning.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Hey, Spanky, I'll take a refilled Could you pour another
small one into a tea cup for me?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Oh? Is that no one hanging around out there again?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
Hi?
Speaker 11 (17:53):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boyn Billy's International player record.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Later you're red again.
Speaker 11 (18:01):
Next time we hear the crusty old mother superior say, hey,
big man, let me hold.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
It on, brilliant, thank you? Ever here all day, Shaun Bolliant.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
Dilly working to make the world just a little smiter.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Good morning, big show. It's on the radio, and let's
welcome marm and webster.
Speaker 11 (18:54):
Yoh, what's up?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
How we're doing? Good man?
Speaker 8 (18:56):
I appreciate y'all using me to salute doctor Martin Luther
King Junior. You know what that might seem odd to
some people that y'all are doing this today. But you know,
actually it is kind of appropriate because this show salutes
doctor King's dream every single day.
Speaker 11 (19:10):
You know what I mean? Around here, a man ain't judged.
Speaker 8 (19:13):
By the color of his skin, but by the quality
of his material. And I appreciate the fellas. You know.
Speaker 11 (19:20):
Something it hits me is weird.
Speaker 8 (19:21):
Mirtin Luther King was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee in nineteen
sixty eight. Right, you know why he was there. There
was a sanitation strike in Memphis, and he went there
to try to mediate the dispute between the city of
Memphis and the garbage workers. Okay, so I'm looking in
the paper. I got a list to all the closings
that are going on. I don't know how it is
(19:42):
where you live, but in our city reads like this.
The banks are closed, city offices close, libraries, closed, stock
market clothes, garbage collection regular schedule. Now what's up with that?
But are we still blaming these guys or something? And
you gonna check this out. I was looking to see
what was on the internet, so to speak, and they
(20:04):
got the keyword doctor Martin Luther King, and the screen
comes up and says, celebrate doctor Martin Luther King Jr.
Has got all kinds of pigeons and stuff. And they
have little buttons across the top says news, fun, Business.
And here's one that says shop. So you know, I
had to click on that and then it comes up
there selling African American books, African American clocks, T shirts,
(20:29):
skincare products. And here's one ergonomic keyboards. Ergonomic keyboards. Oh,
I see they come in black. Free at last, Free
at last, y'all think about it.
Speaker 11 (20:44):
I'm out the Webster.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Money Powell.
Speaker 6 (20:48):
When I'm driving the bus in the morning, I always
get the troublemakers.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
But I figure out how to get rid of them.
I crank up the ball. You'me on the Big Show
with John Boy and Billy.
Speaker 6 (20:58):
They are a half Riot and the crackheads hated.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Good morning.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
It's a big show on the radio your Tuesday morning.
John Mooy's Wonderful Things Giveaway number ninety one, Now go sports.
Bryce Young Heisman Trophy Commemorative Football. Got this football up
through the playoffs of the NFL. Give it away the
Friday before the Super Bowl is a real special little
playoff was keeping exclusive supplemental stats handwritten in sharpie by
(22:06):
yours truly. Well, the first seven of Bryce's NFL games,
actually one one kind of messed me up. So I
got two six's on their as you can see when
you view them.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
But let's not be his oividual fagritator. No, I wouldn't
want this. I think this will be worse money someday. Yeah,
what if if you had.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
Registered to win it at the Big Show dot Com?
Good luck you crazy kids. Good morning, got a big
show on the radio. Azer Nerd tries again, this time
trying to go the ventriloquist route. Hang on first, I'll
tell you what somebody's gonna win when we play worthy
word a Southern East for riding pack. They heard all
(22:53):
about the great benefits of hemp, Well, now's the best
time to try with Southern East Trading Company. As as
not just a product, it's a way of life. Go
to the Big Show dot Com think on a Southern
East banner. Get twenty five percent off. Just use code
JBB at checkout while supplies last must.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Be twenty one to win. Hang out and play four
ten minutes first.
Speaker 4 (23:14):
All right, he's back in this time he's brought a suitcase.
That could be a good sign let's find out astron
once new in the wide.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
World of comedy. Nothing as usual, you're all too a
great star. What do you mean nothing?
Speaker 6 (23:32):
Well, basically, John Boy, thought been done before. But every
once in a while a comedy genius comes along and
put a new spin on a tired old act and
it becomes thresh and happening again. Do you have any examples? Well,
of course, we'll let it on me, Jeff did huh,
(23:52):
it's me. You Reube, You're the comedy genius to.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Dah read the introduction.
Speaker 4 (24:01):
Oh ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together and welcome
a new voice in comedy, or should I say new voices?
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Here? He is Astro Dunham. Oh no, you're a ventriloquist.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
Now, Hey, folks, who's ready to laugh? Thank you, Billy,
Thank I'm kind of lonely at here all by myself.
Let me bring on my partner, knucklehead rackly, dang it,
what's wrong?
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I can't get the suitcase open? Hold on.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
There, Oh man, hey, it looks like you. He's even
got a propeller on his hat.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Pretty sweet.
Speaker 6 (24:42):
Hun, Hey, knucklehead, how's it going better now that I'm
out of that fooitcast. Next time you put me next
to your underwear, make sure they're clean. Both were my
clean underwear. Next time you right in the seat? Cake Well, knucklehead,
(25:06):
anything exciting happening at home?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
My dad fell in the well. Two weeks ago? He
fell in the well. Is he all right?
Speaker 6 (25:14):
I guess though? He stopped screaming her help two days ago. So, knucklehead,
I see you stop biting your fingernails.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
How'd you do it? I quit using toilet pike control?
Speaker 6 (25:30):
Hey, speaking of that, what were you doing standing on
the toilet the other day? I wanted to see what
it was like to get high on pot. Now, knucklehead,
that's not funny.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
You got that right. Listen, jag.
Speaker 6 (25:46):
If you're not gonna get the whole effect of the material,
if you keep interrupting my flow.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Why are you still doing knucklehead's voice? Dang it? I
forgot I still knew it. This is the creepious looking
dummy i've ever seen.
Speaker 6 (26:02):
Hey, you'll heard his feelings. I wasn't talking about him.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Jab Can I use that? Yeah? No? Never put that
thing away? Does uh? What else you got there?
Speaker 4 (26:13):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (26:13):
Let's see, I've got r two pu, the flatulet Android.
I've got Manuel Labor, my crazy Mexican long guy. Yeah,
poor lot of dollars, the salty brothel, Madam Sheikh Ali
ben Affleck, the wacky mood look.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Anything a little edgier.
Speaker 6 (26:34):
Well, yeah, but I don't know if he's you know,
safe for radio. I usually save him for like bachelorette
parties and sweet sixteens.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And stuff like that. Well, let's risk it. You asked
for it.
Speaker 6 (26:49):
Come on out and say hello, Purv Griffin, Hey, Hello,
gorgeous Hey, PERV. That's okay, I'll wait, Hey, PERV, do
(27:17):
you believe in puppy love?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Maybe?
Speaker 6 (27:20):
What's it looked like? Now, PERV, you shouldn't say that.
I'm an animal lover. I now I've seen the fixtures, Jackpie,
so PERV. I hear Barney Frank came to your Christmas party.
(27:42):
I told him, Hey, Barney, I'm sorry we ran out
of food, and he said, that's okay, I'm having a ball.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
That's not the punch line. You're you're doing it again.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
It Sorry, that's not the punchline. I was getting the
part where Anthony Wiener and Dick Army getting a spitting content.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Yeah, I think the put per Christina, get this roll.
You're not on a roll. You couldn't be on a
roll if you worked in a bakery. What what are
you writing down?
Speaker 1 (28:14):
I'm gonna use that joke for another one of my characters.
You like him. His name is we targ Crazy little Midge.
Speaker 4 (28:22):
I think this might be a good place to wrap
this up. Are you sure you want to keep doing this?
You know you are terrible.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Oh, everybody says that my haters motivators.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
What does spooky nuggle ahead? Rackley pumping away? I can't
tell which one is a dubby man.
Speaker 6 (28:39):
I could take off his hand, just take off period.
All right, I'll be back.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Hey, that wasn't bad.
Speaker 6 (28:46):
Got time for a few impressions the big show audience, audience.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
In the world. Well what now? Forgot my sick case?
All right? No trying my work as an insult comic.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
He will try that before we get out of here
on Tuesday. Alright, Well, let's play on some wordy word
one eight hundred big show you told free line across America.
We'll get a couple of contestants and play next. Good morning,
(29:42):
there's a big show on the radio running. Do your
Tuesday today's feature track from the Big Show, Big Box
revn Goom, the Ten Commandments and the Preacher's Bicycle. This
glasic Man search stri keyword bicycle. Here's a big box
at the Big.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Show dot Com. Right now, let's play.
Speaker 11 (30:02):
I had everybody's head about the bad.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
The word, any word of the worthy word.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Let's meet our contestants. We got Kevin from Belton, South Carolina.
Good morning, Kevin, morning, John boy, how you doing, hey, buddy,
We're all good. Welcome. And we got Dwayne from Tyler, Texas.
Good morning, Dwayne. Hey, we're all good.
Speaker 4 (30:26):
All right, welcome boys Texas versus South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Dwain us, Kevin, Kevin, us Dwayne. Y'all say hey, y'all
Big Show listeners.
Speaker 4 (30:34):
Got something in common Westens out here?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
Is that right?
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Where are you doing there? Dwayne in Texas? We just
went on again down there. We had to get you
up there, buddy. Yeah, yeah, So so what do you do?
Just randomly dial phone numbers and hope you you must
have been at the Big Show dot Com website checking
(31:01):
us out.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yeah, then show all right, awesome.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
Man, all right, we'll glad you heared the way you
made it and were your troubles. You were on the
team of Tater, all right, Tater and Dwayne.
Speaker 9 (31:14):
You don't know, maybe he picked it, all right, I know.
Speaker 4 (31:18):
Me and Kevin go on team up and see what
we can do. So Dwayne, you would tell you relax,
me and Kevin to go for the first thirty seconds,
I CA have.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
You ready, I'm ready?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
All right, start the clock now. If you don't go
to heaven, you go to hell. Uh huh rhymes with it.
A jail what they lock you up? Yeah, uh, rhymes
with it, don't buy I do this.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Right? Yeah, rhymes with it. Show and til yeah, rhymes
with it. Don't fall down.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
Thee where you get water where you won't get water?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
All right, more fault. Now this is what you live
a wait, it's called what a dumb bail?
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Oh you were so close with that. But let's say
what we end up with a five on the board.
Good work, Kevin or the five?
Speaker 1 (32:11):
All right? Then and now, Dwayne, you are up with
miss Marcy. So Marcie you already, d Wayne? Okay, Jack,
you got it up there. Taya can see all right? Ready,
go all right.
Speaker 9 (32:30):
It's a weight that you live with. Your your do
curls with it.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Called uh huh a blank?
Speaker 9 (32:37):
What kind of it rhymes?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Bar?
Speaker 9 (32:39):
What you ring this the door? What you say it
ring a door? Yes, so say the two words together.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
Dumb bail not dumb?
Speaker 9 (32:52):
You eat it? You eat a candy?
Speaker 1 (32:53):
What a candy?
Speaker 4 (32:54):
Blake?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Here you go, bar bill? Yeah, I go? You put
why not?
Speaker 4 (33:05):
Ended up with a two? Score a two on the board.
All right, you broke the seal. So let's see what
me and Kevin do on round two. All right, when
you stay there, Kevin, are you ready and go? You
make drinks in this? You put it in crush his eyes?
Whoa like I make a you put put the ice
(33:26):
cream ice in? Uh yeah, kind of like that together. Yeah,
that's it all right.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
You do this when you need a hole to put
a screw in hand me that real? Yeah? Uh huh?
All right. You use this to pour oil in your
in your thing in your car so it doesn't spill.
It's the thing, it's just pour Its a big at
the first, it's big. Yes, all right, Kevin? That was
(33:54):
all you bought after dumbing over there?
Speaker 11 (33:55):
What all?
Speaker 1 (33:56):
We get right there? And Tate put a three on
that five four and eight?
Speaker 8 (33:59):
All right?
Speaker 1 (34:00):
An eight? So Dwayne and Taylor. All you need is
six to tie, all right, all right, okay, all right,
Dwayne you ready, buddy, Yeah, I'm all try Okay, me too, okay,
and go all.
Speaker 9 (34:15):
Right the card game where you try to get twenty
one black cat. Yes, yes, sir, you do this. You
pull this out of your head, your kids, put it
under your pillow.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
Okay, yep.
Speaker 9 (34:27):
This is the holiday when the Lord, when Jesus has risen.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Uh Eastern lam.
Speaker 9 (34:35):
This is a clam blank, it's a soup. It's white clam.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Chat.
Speaker 9 (34:41):
Yes, six, this is this guy pulls a rabbit out
of his hat. What is he doing?
Speaker 8 (34:46):
He's doing?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
Oh? Y'all ended up with a six only two short.
A great run at it, but Kevin wins. You try them,
all right? Well, Dwayne down Tyler, Texas. Man appreciate you playing.
You can try again.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Anytime, man, sure man, all right, buddy, Thank you boy, Kebby.
Look at you down Belton winning the big Old Southern
East Riding Pack for your victory grid job my man. Alrighty,
thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Good morning. Big show's on the radio.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Requested bit time here alright, Taya pulled one of the
wall looks like Frank Phillip says, Hey, guys and goals,
like to make a request to here, married man y'all
rock well, Frank, you got it.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
My boy coming up next good morning is to make
(36:07):
sure the radio Tuesday, January sixteenth, requested bit for today.
Frank Phillips sing o, rak.
Speaker 5 (36:23):
My ridman, my ridman drives around in a manly van
god a wife.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
And some kids.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
It's whole life on the skids. Hey, there there goes
the married man.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
How's he feel?
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Listen, dude, this sport guy's.
Speaker 7 (36:41):
Really screwed hanging on. Buy a bread cord of milk,
loaf of bread.
Speaker 5 (36:46):
Hay. There there goes a married man, got a big
gas will, buys.
Speaker 7 (36:53):
His clothes at the gap, and he's just about hanging
on for.
Speaker 5 (36:59):
This cry man, met man, man me mand fend the neighborhood.
Speaker 7 (37:04):
Married bande has no single life on leggin Do what
the she says? It's how about time he grew Well,
there's a screw you don't find them.
Speaker 11 (37:16):
Married mane as a starry alpins, married man as hot
at work at the office. Oh okay, sorry, I had
to take another call. Now where were we?
Speaker 5 (37:25):
Oh?
Speaker 11 (37:26):
All right? Quartermilk a loaf of bread and what craft
light singles?
Speaker 6 (37:31):
I got worried. Man.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
I want to have a word with you right now.
Speaker 11 (37:38):
Good morning, mister Smuthers. Can you hold on just a moment? No, no, no,
I said, thirty thousand and not a penny less call
me if you change your mind. Sorry about that, chief.
What can I do for you?
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Do you know what this is?
Speaker 11 (37:51):
It looks like the monthly production report.
Speaker 14 (37:54):
Of dreams tackling what it is? Take a look at it?
Notice anything unusual?
Speaker 11 (37:58):
M It's like we've changed to a heavier off white
paper stock.
Speaker 14 (38:02):
No, open your eyes, man, Look at those lines mark
with a yellow highlighter.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
What do you see?
Speaker 11 (38:09):
They're on my account?
Speaker 1 (38:10):
That's right. How long have you been with a.
Speaker 11 (38:13):
Company twenty two years, sir?
Speaker 14 (38:15):
Well, I started this company thirty five years ago, and
in all that time, I've never seen anything like this.
I've gone over these figures over and over again, and
I still don't understand it.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Maybe you can help me out with something.
Speaker 11 (38:32):
What's that, sir?
Speaker 14 (38:33):
How could a man who's been here for twenty two years,
without ever attracting any attention to himself whatsoever, exceed his
monthly quota by over two hundred percent.
Speaker 11 (38:43):
I'm sure there's a simple explanation. What did you say?
Speaker 14 (38:47):
Congratulations, married man, you're the Smithers Industry salesman of the month.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
I can't believe.
Speaker 14 (38:57):
Congratulations son, here's your official self was one of them
on the plaque.
Speaker 11 (39:02):
Thank you, sir. I really really don't know what to say.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
And now I believe one of our young ladies from
accounting has another special presentation for you. Hello, married man,
I'm Dusty. Nice.
Speaker 11 (39:15):
Nice to meet you. Dusty, do you like my outfit?
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Well?
Speaker 11 (39:18):
To tell you the truth that that blouse you're wearing
seems just a little bit low cut now according to
the way I understand the dress code. You know, well,
I didn't mean for you.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
What are you doing? What Dusty?
Speaker 8 (39:34):
Is it?
Speaker 11 (39:35):
You see that fellow standing over there? He's the owner
of the company. H mister Smithers. I have no idea
what's going on here? And olden my goodness, So I
don't believe i've seen you around before. How long have
you been in accounting?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
She's from Red Hot Stripping Grams.
Speaker 11 (39:53):
You more ron get it? You don't really work here.
You just said that, and you've got and take your clothes.
Speaker 1 (40:04):
Married man, don't forget to breathe.
Speaker 9 (40:07):
Are you having a good time?
Speaker 11 (40:10):
Sure?
Speaker 5 (40:11):
Uh?
Speaker 8 (40:12):
So?
Speaker 11 (40:12):
Uh have you seen that movie Show Girls?
Speaker 8 (40:15):
Bye here?
Speaker 11 (40:16):
It's quite accurate in a lot of ways. To be
honest with you, I don't really have much experience with
this kind of thing. I'm sure you're a very nice girl.
This is probably something you're doing to I don't know,
work your way through school or something. You know, I
hear a lot of girl.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
Wow.
Speaker 11 (40:31):
You know that's really quite amazing. You know, you would
think they would both spend in the same direction.
Speaker 7 (40:36):
Very man line one.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
It's your Why.
Speaker 11 (40:39):
Dusty it? Could you excuse me for just a second.
I really kind of need.
Speaker 4 (40:42):
To take this call.
Speaker 11 (40:45):
Hello, Hi, honey, I'm kind of busy right now. What
Uh yeah, it is kind of noisy in here. I
think they're having trouble with the musac or something. Huh
let me see. Uh yeah, craft light singles, I did
get it. Yes, I think all the Kraft Light products
are individually wrapped. I'll double check this. Okay, what No,
(41:08):
everything's fine. Why do you ask I sound distracted. Well,
I'm just kind of busy.
Speaker 7 (41:16):
You know.
Speaker 11 (41:16):
Things are great. In fact, this is one of the
breast days of my life. I mean the best days
of my life. No, no, I wasn't really really talking
to you, desk what Oh rusty guy from accounting he's
in here talking about something. Oh listen nothing, I need
to run. I'm getting a little behind here, A little behind. No, no, no, no,
(41:38):
I mean rusty. Listen, honey, I gotta go. The boss
just came in and dumped some hot stuff in my lap.
I mean, some important stuff in my lap. I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Huh me too, I did say it, Okay, okay.
Speaker 11 (41:52):
I love you. Yes, really, it wouldn't matter if there
was a busty twenty two year old blonde wiggling or
rear and you could daunce a quarter off of right
in my face. No, no, that's that time I was
talking to you. I mean I gotta go, honey. By married, well,
(42:13):
you just got to know how to handle them, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (42:15):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (42:15):
Yeah, married man?
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Line too? Is your wife again?
Speaker 11 (42:20):
Hold on a second, guys, I guess she misses me already. Hello, Yes, honey,
what you checked my employee phone list? And and there's
nobody named Rusty in the accounting department? Well, holiday rock
in a hot place? How will I lawfully wed. It here,
(42:41):
I'll get out of this one for the answer killed
and again next time, same married time, same married channel.
Speaker 7 (42:49):
Love you'll find them married none.
Speaker 4 (43:17):
Good morning, it's a mix sew on the radio and
in this broadcast.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Make room for the podcast John.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
Women end Raisers Podcastsmen of this show. It's been fun
with astro Nerd. It can make us laugh.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
Before we go.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
Well, the world is in a sorry state these days,
and we're about to make it worse, much much worse.
How you may ask, Well, here is astro Nerds.
Speaker 1 (43:50):
Thanks for the invite, John Boy, I didn't invite you,
you just showed up. You're welcome, and don't worry.
Speaker 6 (43:57):
I'm not going to tell any fale old jokes I've
taken in my act in another all new direction.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Out of the door.
Speaker 6 (44:04):
That's a good one, stealing. No meet astro Nerd. Insult comic. Really,
I've trying to find something that would force me to
stretch my hilarious wings.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
So and you chose insult comedy.
Speaker 6 (44:19):
Well, it's not easy for me. See I'm not a
mean spirited person. I try not to say hurtful things.
I don't get my jolly's being unspeakably cruel and unkind, like, Randy.
Speaker 1 (44:33):
Wait, what's this all about?
Speaker 6 (44:35):
Every time I want to come on the show and
inform and educate your listeners in all things astronomical, he
gives me the breeze. He says I'm a ratings killer,
says the listeners aren't interested, says that I'm some sort
of know it all, says I.
Speaker 1 (44:49):
Talk way too long. Well, Randy, I'm not talking. I
was saying that Randy is executive producer and he's supposed
to make that call. Yeah, but does he have to
say it so so dang?
Speaker 8 (45:03):
Mean?
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Well, like what?
Speaker 6 (45:04):
Oh well, he says stuff like no, keep talking, I
always yawned when I'm interested, or or let's play horse,
I'll be the front end. You be yourself, or or
take a mental note. No, never mind, I see you're
out of paper. That kind of stuff.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
Mean well, as Oliver says, are you gonna let him
talk to you like that?
Speaker 6 (45:27):
That's why I'm here. I'm really gonna give him the business.
All right, Well, Randy, you asked for it. Go ahead, Nerd.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
George beating, handsweating, Okay, here goes hey, Randy.
Speaker 6 (45:42):
Darryl Gretch called he wants his pants back who is
Darryl Gretch? Oh he's this guy.
Speaker 1 (45:48):
I know. He wears fancy pants all the time, just
like Randy. Well, it doesn't make any sense. No one
knows who he is. Oh, okay, right, Hey Randy, nice
pants taboo? Try something like, Hey, Randy, nice fans? Is
it gay bingo night? Hey? Stealing?
Speaker 6 (46:07):
Okay, try something else? All right, Hey, Randy nice shirt?
Is it gay bingo night cape? Forget the clothes. That's
gonna cut my acting half.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Just keep going.
Speaker 6 (46:20):
Hey, Randy, burt backrack called he wants his hair back boom,
suck up?
Speaker 1 (46:26):
Kind of weak? Dang it?
Speaker 6 (46:29):
Okay, Hey Randy, if you're so smart, how come you
don't what's wrong?
Speaker 1 (46:34):
I went off script? I can't think anything. Well, try
something else. Hey, Billy nice glasses. It's terrible. No, I
really like his glasses. Awful Bill?
Speaker 6 (46:50):
Okay, smarty pants, you know so much, my ball cat,
young friend?
Speaker 1 (46:53):
What would you say.
Speaker 4 (46:55):
On the top of my head? Are you the first
in your family to be born without a tail?
Speaker 8 (47:00):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (47:00):
Before you came along, we're hungry, now we're fed up.
Let me guess the aliens forgot to take out the
antal probe per. Do you want me to accept you
as you are? Or do you want me to like you?
You're a difficult man to forget, but well worthy effort.
What I used to think you were a pain in
(47:20):
the neck, but now I have a much lower opinion
of you.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Yeah, man, Randy, I'm sitting right here. That was to you?
By what der? Why are you so mean? It's mind
over matter. I don't mind because you don't matter, Steale
and Scent. Don't you mean? Than?
Speaker 8 (47:42):
No?
Speaker 1 (47:42):
Sent because you stink? Jie, You're on a road, Staley. Well,
I gotta get my notes out here.
Speaker 6 (47:51):
There's lot's taken in the immortal words the Arnold Schwarzenegger
in the Terminator, I shall return or something.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Damn it?
Speaker 6 (48:02):
Never mind.
Speaker 11 (48:05):
Bit boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine and buy them once, play them anywhere, find
your faves and roll your own playlist. Right now at
the Big Show dot com. You can order JBMB stuff,
T shirts, hats, and we don't know what call by
calling Donnie at the Big Show Warehouse. The number is
eight hundred and four seven to one. Stuff online services
(48:28):
by Animink dot com Ai.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Y'all have great rest of your day. We love you
and we mean it.
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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