September 2, 2025 • 38 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, it’s a Tuesday that feels like a Monday - so Robert Earl Keen will go” Swerving’ In Your Lane”.. - With all of the kiddies back in school, we’ll pull out a classic Playhouse, “Dub Goes Back To School”.. - Fall is just around the corner - so you know the folks at JD’s 24-Hour Stores have got a Super End of Summer Sale for you.. - Not to be outdone, Tacky Jackie’s Clothes for Hoes is throwing down a sale of their own.. - Rev. Billy Ray Collins takes the pulpit and jumps in on the back to school theme.. - Marci will perform “I’m a Delusional Girl”, by request.. - and Phil McCracken locks up with his “So Hot” and “So Cold” one-liners…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
What it is now, I'm just wearing this cologne.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
That's that smell.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
That smell, Thank you hey.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
A feature track for The Big Show mid Box Phil
McCracken's Summertime Woes. They'll go miss Summer search for keyword
woes and you hear the mid Box at the Bigshow
dot com. Okay, let's play Meet the Bard, and here
we go. Meet our contestant out of pine View, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
You say hey to Carl, Good morning, Carl, Good morning,
John boy, Hey body welcome.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
All right, Carl.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
We're gonna ask Tatter some questions. She'll answer.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
You just agree to disagree, get too right for too wrong,
and you win to go blue in.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
You cries, by god, I don't get it. All right, body,
take take Yo.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
It is the only food that provides calories but absolutely
no nutrition.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Oh god, do you know what it is?
Speaker 5 (01:33):
I think it's my most favorite food.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Sugar, sugar, sugugar, sugar.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Carl, Okay, I agree, all right, Well, now the thing
to do, yeah sugar, all right, there's a belt.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
It'd be a food group.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
All right, Well, I.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Stay in some snack food. In nineteen ninety five, the
makers of Eminem candies stop making tan eminem's what color
did they replace it with?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Ninety five? Ninety five?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I was four years old.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Who don't like an eminem? They replaced the tan ones
with blue.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
With blue, the blue eminems replaced the tan.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
All right, Carl, agree or disagree?
Speaker 6 (02:38):
I remember when they came out.
Speaker 7 (02:40):
I agree, and.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It took me a lot of warm up.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
The blue. I didn't like the blue.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Well, the current colors, by the way, are dark brown, yellow, green, red, orange,
and blues.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Still got them red ones in there, huh huh so far.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, they took them out for a while because you know,
there was a rumor that it caused cancer to die.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, put it all right there.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Well, Carl, look at you winning big old blue EMU
prize back.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
We'll get down pine View for you.
Speaker 8 (03:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Dom Boy got it bottom of the hour, top of
your news. On the other side, we got a time capsule.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Crack that thing over. Got those a laugh, Mark September second.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Alright, m.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports. All right, all right, all right?
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Up next to his case number four twenty four Liian
brown and diamond lilies Versa's Reverend Or Rogers and the first.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Pettycostal church at Cooder mil Amen. Now which one of y'alls,
Miss Brown?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
That be me, judge, he's Reverend Rodgers in the court room.
You bet you.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
I'm not here, your honor, And just how are you
this fine beautiful morning?
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Oh you might want to pull back on the sub
just a tad there, smiling, I'm boring a lot of diabetes.
Now that Miss Brown says here, you are the proprietor
Diamond Lenny Gentlemen's Club.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Is that what I think it is? I'll tell you
exactly what that is, ja.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
It is a snake pit of sin and iniquity, a
black mark if there ever was one on this town
and all of its good Christian inhabitants.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Your honor, My business is providing female companionship for local
residents and weary travelers. Or it was till Reverend Twitchy
here ruined me.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
Twitchy, you, ma'am, are not only a harlot and an insulter.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Of the men of a cloth, but you are a
liar as well. I got an idea of both of y'all.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Shut up a bit, amen, I says here on March fifteenth,
Miss Brown opened up Diamond Lilies, where upon the first
Pentecostal church across the street there took strong exception to
the location of the new business.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Why you bet you we did.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Only a horn mangering reprobate would open up a den
of iniquity right across the street from a church.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Judge, this snake handling cat turd. Second, when we got
through with me, I was gonna be sorry I ever
set foot in this town. Him and the rest of
them holy rollers started having prayer meetings every single night,
calling for the Lord to rain divine vengeance on me
and my business.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
All right, all right, hold on here, snake handling cat
tur I remember that.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Around for him.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
On July the twenty ninth, Diamond Lilies was completely destroyed
by fire.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
Yes, and them church people is the ones that calls
him God.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
So you're accused in the good river and here setting
fire the old property.
Speaker 6 (06:40):
Hold on just a minute, Josh, your honor, I'd like
to point out that on July the twenty ninth, and
the year of this Lord or something along them lies,
Coonerville was hit by the biggest thunderstorm in over thirty years.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I'm sure you remember it.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
It was a storm accompanied by some of the worst
most spectacular lightning ever seen.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I don't remember that was hammering.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
But let me give us you saying it is lightning
and burnt down Miss Brown's place of business.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I am indeed he admits it.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Them Bible beat us prayed something bad.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
What happened to me?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And it did?
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Dog darn it. They need to make this right.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
You got anything saying to that, Reverend you're honor.
Speaker 6 (07:26):
A court of law is a place of factual evidence,
and there is absolutely no factual evidence that our church
had anything to do without fire.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
We else, I'll tell you what I better judge for
over thirty years, he out, and this is one thing
that I've never seen for in my life. On the
one hand, you've got the painted up old of a
whole house who's totally sold.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
On the power of prayer.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
And on the other hand, we got a full time
preacher who says, that's a bunch of horse hockey.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Hope don't need some time to noodle on this court
to judge up through PM We hope you've enjoyed John
Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
It's lily.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Are you open for till then?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Again. Next time we'll hear Miss Lily's crusty old assistant manager.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. John
Boy and Dilly Reverend, the little boxes right over there house.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Good morning radio, done right, good morning. It's a big
(08:55):
show on the radio. Well, the summer movie season is
cooling down. See if there's any more hot releases left
here to tell us about his latest adventure to the cinema.
Is a resident critic, Rabbi Myron berg Stein, Come on in, Rabbi.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Showobi homies. What's happening? Big show gangs? Oh, I guess
you went to the movies.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Oo, good gush, look at the big brain on John Boy. No,
I didn't see a movie. I'm here they share my
craplock recipe. Of course I saw a movie. I saw
a bunch of them.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Well, spill the beans, Daddy O.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Spilled the beans, Daddy O shoe tell me Potzi what
time is Richie and Ruth Mouth coming over? Shut up,
you dope, sorry, so please continue. So I saw a
bunch of stuff. I saw that diner Shall movie. Eh.
I saw the super Guy movie Double Man. I saw
(09:55):
the movie with the the see through gyle, The Rock
Guy the fire Guy and Stretch Armstrong Quadrupleni. The nude
Pistol was pretty good. That blonde with the big chances
in it. Pamela Anderson, Pamela, Wamela, Bamela, thank you, mamma
what she should be called? She got some miles on her,
(10:18):
but those are highway miles and from where I was sitting,
there's still some cred on them.
Speaker 9 (10:24):
Pie.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Oh well, how was everybody else? There were other people
in the movie.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Okay, so which movie are you reviewing today? Okay, I
read the shee Nobody's left too. I think it's just
nobody too. Did you see the movie Trust Me? Nobody's
left big body count. Uh, he was stacking him like Cordwood.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So you remember the first one when he got involved
with the Ruskies and he and his dad and another
guy just wiped them out.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Then you are gonna love base Fund. He and the
family go on vacation to this little tour trap place,
but it's not fun and games for long. In no time,
he winds up and the cross hairs of a corrupt
theme park operator, a didy sheriff and the blood tisty
lady crime boss o Lady Crime Balls. Interesting, Yeah, played
(11:15):
bite that dame that got the famous for crossing her legs.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
In that movie. Did she cross her legs in this one?
Speaker 7 (11:22):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
But that was still good.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
And the lead guy is so great, the great comedian,
Bob Hope Odenkirk.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Cover your mouth when you bite. The actor you're thinking
of is Bob Odenkirk.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
I thought that was the white guy with the afro
that thought frustrated housewives how to paint happy little trees.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
That's Bob Rows.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I thought that was the famous singer who you could
never sing along with because nobody.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Knew what the hell he was saying.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
That's Bob Dylan.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I thought that was the guy who always yelled come
on down and then told you to cut your dog's
balls off.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
That's Bob Barker.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I thought that was the singer who was always hopped
up on goofen toll and head hair like long fuzzy turns.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
That's Bob Marley. Oh, I thought that was a break.
That's Bob White. I thought that's what boxes did. That's
Bob and Weave. So who the hell am I thinking of?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Bob Odenkirk, the only guy in history to have a
twenty year career painting the same.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Damp picture over and over again. So what did you think?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I think he should have painted a happy pony or
a smiling dog. Would it kill you to chase things up? Yah?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Cookie head bastard.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Know the movie? Well, I gotta tell you, I give
it five out of five, yamackers. There's nothing like seeing
a bunch of crooked a holes get hung out to dry.
My biggest complaint is that it's only an hour and
a half.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
What did your run out of?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Goon's the blow Away?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
But other than that, it's the perfect cinematic end to
a crappy, so so movie Summer. But maybe this isn't
your cup of tea.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Maybe some of you sympathize with the criminals and no
good knicks getting what's coming to him. Maybe that's why
you spend all your time in your mom's basement being
a keyboard tough guy, putting on a black mask and
marching around with your equally stupid friends crapping on everything American.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Well you know what they might make.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Nobody's left three and I'm sure the movie people would
love to have a bunch of you, shiftless, gutless, clueless
comedy butt wipes the users cannon father and let me
tell you I would love it. But you know, rare
clean undis in case your mom has to identify you.
God bless and remember see him at nay.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
It's cheap. Good morning, and you got a big show
on a radio. More chances for you to win coming
up after your news.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Weather and sports.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Oh, oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I didn't see you, Lea.
Speaker 10 (14:03):
This is Professor Merwyn handed Day, head of hey ah, oh,
head of Big Show Science and History Division. And you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Yo. When I say there will be history, I didn't
mean to apply a negative.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I simply meant that they they Oh.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
What did I mean?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. How
many people got their hands on my wonderful thing? One
hundred and fifty four to count right now? Could you
be number one hundred and fifty five?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Lucky enough?
Speaker 9 (15:19):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
This is nice a costa Rican peddler's bracelet. I was
fishing out at os Swingels Marina. It's out of Hockeo
in the Coasta Deca. The little kids won't leave you
alone till you buy something. I said, Wow, get you
is something and give it away to a lucky Big
Show listener.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
It's a great business plan.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
I should look at you.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Uh well, check it out. Get your name and a
hat when you go to the Big Show dot com.
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio. Hard
hang on, got a call coming in hot on our
back to school show. First, tell you what you can win.
If you can win, wordy word, Here is just the
second one hundred and twenty dollars worth of Bullsnot cleaning
(16:04):
products made in the USA. Drug drivers keep America moving
a bull snot make sure they look good doing it.
Fine bullsnouted drug stops across America. Download that bull Snot app.
Click on the link at the Big Show dot Com.
We play in Minneso. Get this Good morning, Big Show.
Speaker 11 (16:19):
Well, good morning there, John Boyn Billy, and good morning
to all our beloved friends out there in radio land.
This here's a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sorda,
Joshua Independent Full Gospel Pennycostal Assembly just off Street Road
twenty three on the Frontage Road. The Sorda Joshua Independent
Full Gospel Pennycoastal Day School is getting geared up for
(16:42):
our annual back to school student mixer and Bible Bash
next Saturday night. I'll be your headmaster of Ceremonies as
we orientate the new class in our brightly lit and
deeply unromantic church activity center. After a lovely prepared covered
dish supper by the women's auxiliary, we'll do a half
(17:04):
hour presentation of the school's official Code of conduct. And
then it's ninety minutes of obsessively chaperoned live entertainment with
the biblically accurate and downright undanceable sounds of five blind boys.
Speaker 9 (17:20):
And one ugly one mast to their acapella renditions of
sanctified classics from the nineteen fifty six Red Hymnal. The
only thing your young'uns will be shaken is their finger
in the face of the backsliders. And no sort of
Joshua Youth event is complete without a soul stirring gospel
presentation from our youth pastor, Ricky Dale Gilmore, the man
(17:45):
who puts the hip in Hypocrites are gonna burn in hell.
Though y'all act like you got some smarts. Oh special
note for parents who still send their kids to the
godless secular education system, we still got slots left in
our k through twelve classes this year. You do not
need to be enrolled to attend next week's sanctified education celebration.
(18:08):
And thanks to a generous love offering from Brother Don
Baldwin at Tire Kingdom Number fourteen, we're offering an interest free,
easy payment plan for this year's tuition. Bible based education
don't have to be a burden anymore, So bring your mouthy,
back talking young bee holes to the event and we'll
get them signed up right on the spot. Just because
(18:30):
you're going to hell don't mean they have to. The
back to school student Mixer and Bible Bash next Saturday,
starting at six o'clock PM at the Sword of Joshua
Independent Full of Gospell Pennycossal Assembly, just off State Road
twenty three on the Funny Road. This here's a Reverend
Billy Ray Collins reminding you and it's time to turn,
(18:52):
so you don't b John Boy and Billy z y'all
keep them straight.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Up the excellent way that our back to school show.
Reverend billar Ray, thank you.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Let's play worthy word one eight hundred Big show you
told free line. We'll get a couple of contestants and
play next. Good morning, there's a big show on the
(19:36):
radio for your Tuesday, September. The second still got b
request Mango coming up in minute, and our future track
for the big show bit bogs.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
We ain't done yet, and we got two rounds of
worthy word right now. Everybody's head about the bed. A
word not a worthy word.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Let's meet a contestants. We got show from Richwood, West, Virginia.
Good morning, Shelley, Yeah, real good.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Maybe it's gonna be me and you playing today.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
And you got Alex out of Jacksonville, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Good morning, Alex. Morning, don boy, Hello body, welcome in here.
You got Tater on your team today. All right, that's right, okay,
good glad y'all here Shelley and Alex.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Okay, four letter words, y'all were dealing with four letter words.
If that helps, if you can tuck that away in
your brain when you're trying to reach for these words
that we're gonna put right to you. I like you.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Relax me and Shelley for round one. You ready, Shelley,
I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Okay, start the clock now, blank my glass with the
beer all the way to the top.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Blanket to the top. What what do you do gas
in your car? Blanket up? Blanket? Yes, Phil?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Okay, Oh I blanked myself. I got a broken bone.
I blanked myself.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
What did I do?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Uh?
Speaker 12 (21:14):
What?
Speaker 4 (21:15):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Yes, okay, blank don't blank it man, just snunk it
up there. So we got to Phil and two on
the board. That's tough to all right, let's see what
Tater and Alys can do for the round one?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
You ready, Alex, Yes, okay, and go.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
They used to call this at a store when it
was in a brown bag. They just called it a
blank bag. You would just run in and blanket you'd
or blank a snack real quick means to get something, No,
to pick it up real quick. Just uh, it's a
blank bag.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Oh hey, it's my birthday. You get gave me a present,
you gave me a what a blank?
Speaker 11 (22:03):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
I'm doing this right now the speaking What am I doing?
I'm hey?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You put this on the end of your hook when
you go fishing earth blank.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Or all right, don't we all put a four on
the board to take the lead for the two. All right, now, Shelley,
we could use some points here. Let's see if we
can get some good words. All right, four letter words
you ready, Shelly? Yes, okay, start the clock now. The
sun will blank in the morning. Yes, the blank will
(22:36):
come out at night noon. And this is the big blank.
You're listening to the big.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Blank, big show.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Uh huh. A blank in the bucket. A blank in
the bucket, one little not a drip but a.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
What come on? Come on?
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah? No blank?
Speaker 9 (23:03):
What? Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Ho at?
Speaker 8 (23:06):
A word?
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
My bad? All right, let's see what we're doing there.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Tayta at three three two.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
That is a five score for Shelley. So Alex and Tator,
all you need is one to tie and two will win.
It's just laying there much like Tator's birthday.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Ready, Alex, here you go, buddy, start the clock now.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Oh, make sure you don't blank the baby or no, okay,
hold on, I please hand me a cock blank?
Speaker 9 (23:44):
What is it?
Speaker 8 (23:45):
A cock?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
No?
Speaker 5 (23:49):
You know you you know, like if you have something,
you're holding something up and you let it go, what
does it do it? Blanks to the ground, yes.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Drop it tied up?
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Oh crap?
Speaker 9 (23:58):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
This is you do your hair?
Speaker 5 (24:01):
Down the middle. You blanket.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Uh, yes, hard for the wind.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I started to lay back on you. I was like,
oh it works so hard to tell. Yeah, and Raydon
say rain dropping. We need one of us gonna.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Think a rain drop?
Speaker 9 (24:17):
You know what that was?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Understand the hands, and I said Jelli.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Bradwick giving her clues. Just turn the page over.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
I'm going And all right, Shelley, we came up a
little short, but we won't give you another shot down
the road.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
All right, baby, i'ms all. I didn't have you up.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
All right, Okay, Shlley, thanks for playing baby. Thanks John Boy,
all right, sweetie and Alex and Jacksonville you got your
prize pack coming away bug, congratulations.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
Appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
John Boy might give a shout out, Yeah, you go ahead.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
I won't give a shout out to my boys down
there South Jay, the mess society to see one set,
one group killing.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
How about them dogs, babies, let's get it this season.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Had the boy appreciate you with you?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
It was Alex I hang o, good morning, I got
the big show on the radio, got our bid request
for the morning right here. Matt Bowling out of Salisbury,
North Carolina. Matt says, y'all, bit request Delusional Girl double
exclamation point love that song?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
All right, man, that is a good girl.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Taylor is singing like aoc before she was out escort
and Mondami Decami around New York.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
A was an escort.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
No no, no, she's playing one on the song. Okay,
let's find out why Matt likes this so much?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Is up next? That is sweet and Sugars.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
The Big Show on the Radio featured track from the
Big Show bit Box Phil mcgragen. We're getting over summertimes
rating back, let's go, Phil's got summertime wolves. I need
to do a keyword wove u geechee and Phil spotting
a bit bob.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
I know we read it.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Okay, okay, back, Yeah yeah, Matt. Matt from Salisbury. I'm
gonna go back to Matt. I got your request right here.
Entitled delusional Girl.
Speaker 12 (27:00):
Far Now I'm ast big shine up Congress. How I
get this far? Comust love me? I'm there here. I
just don't see.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
That I'm a coolest.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Do first?
Speaker 12 (27:19):
Coutu mass meau. They are the road in an illusional
world and dying a delusion of girl.
Speaker 9 (27:29):
You know that they are ro a delusional world, dying.
Speaker 12 (27:34):
Avolutional world, lots of plans to see those world we
see to do with now real love cars and plans
as trains the most parties.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Cows no more border out gons.
Speaker 12 (28:00):
It so excuse, I don't know how we will be
for sounds good to the pools because they are in
the emotional world and dying about amution over that they
are deliberal inusion world.
Speaker 7 (28:23):
Amos anything in the world, everything in the old world,
pay anything as world thing again, losing world.
Speaker 12 (28:45):
A soption really Western numbers town, but plastics will make
me reach the friends can flo tell because we are
dead brow something your delusion and you know that we
(29:07):
are dead brow and I'm just a delusion of the
rock and noting your molusions and noting a delusion of
(29:32):
a delusion, a delusion, a delusional delusional think.
Speaker 8 (29:40):
Again, not ALUs, thank again, that delution all the world
bank again, the delusion world bank, that delusion world live again,
the illusion world bank again, not alusion. Getting up by
(30:06):
getting up the world.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Man, that's Grammy worthy. Greasing in the grass.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
It's the gas.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Maybe can't you a big I'm sorry?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
You know how these umpa bad music affects me when
I get it in. I can't let it go.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Okay, I'll let it go.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Because I featured track from The Big Show Boxes Fill
McCracken keyword woes.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Summer time and my forehead is greasy.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
My pets are staying Mama, don't you know hand, I'm
chafing my thigh.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
This heats a.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Bitch, and my man parts are cooking. And I hear
that it's worse when you go outside. Holo, Babs, Oh,
just trying to stay cool. The ac is out back
at Cassa McCracken. Oh, this humidity. Oh, my stars and garters.
(31:48):
If I had hair, i'd look like that guy that
paints on TV. The air is so wet. I walk
outside and I feel like Lloyd Bridges from every episode
at Sea Hunt.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I'm already on my second.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
Bottle of gold bond powder today and all I've done
is make gallons of menthold gravy. This is the kind
of heat that has trees whistling for dogs. It's so
hot my shadow exploded. The squirrels in my neighborhood are
soaking their nuts and ice water. The birds are pulling
worms out of the ground with potholders. Every morning when
(32:23):
I wake up The first thing I do is put
my pillow in the dryer. I got a loaf of
bread at the store. By the time I got home
it with toast. Amish women are wearing Daisy dukes. Lance
Armstrong tested positive for gatorade. I saw a funeral procession
pull into dairy queen. This is what they call Bernie Sanders,
Weather ninety five and hazy. So tell me these humidity
(32:50):
jokes doing anything for it? I didn't come up with them.
I just found Uncle Buddy's notebook in the bathroom again.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
So what's new with you?
Speaker 4 (32:58):
Oh? You found a box of mements from your school days.
That's fun, isn't it? Looking back on memories? What's this
a trophy?
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Look at you, miss thing? What's it say? Best best
figure in the third grade? Best figure in the third grade?
Why you must have been an early bloomer. No, you
were eighteen. Okay, listen, listen. Why don't you take the
scooter to the pooter and refresh your fab and then
(33:31):
we'll run our errands. Okay, okay, okay, Off you go,
cheek the glow, little Hope. There's so much that she
don't know been plugged more than a banjo and Geez
gone fine.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
When she and her friend set in a circle, I
call it a dope ring do would have been a
big show both speaking them.
Speaker 9 (33:56):
Have you.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Excuse me? You you want to speak to astro nerd.
You know, despite what he might tell you, he doesn't
work here, right, You want to tell him that you
can't stand him.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
That is that his segment sucks. Sir, sir, sir, slow down.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
I can't write that back, that he's the most boring
person in the world, that he should go back to
his nerdery with the other pointy heads and never ever
come back on the show again. And if you ever
have to listen to him again, you're gonna come over
here and pound him into the ground like a tense steak.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Could you hold please, Randy?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I know that's you.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Finally some constructive criticism. Oh summer time, Oh jesus, people
are slow.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Next your fuffing I'm have you?
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Oh Marcel, please tell me has the air conditioned to
repair a guy been there yet? This is brutal. Oh
thank god the AC in the mini works. The drive
here was just long enough to drive the sweat stains
on my shirt from my manfold and my shoes forget
about it. I put odo eaters in my shoes and
they dissolved like alka seltzer. Then you walk in here
(35:27):
and it's like ice stationed Debra. You can see everyone's
breath and they aren't even eating barbecue today.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
It's wild.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
I'm sorry, what is that? How cold is it? Hold
on one second, It's so cold.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I chip my tooth on my soup.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
It's so cold that everyone is playing Ring tossed with
Tater's high beans. It's so cold. I spilled coffee on
my lap on purpose. It's so cold in here. Governor
mccroy kept his hands in his own pocket instead of
the taxpayers. It's so cold in here. Everyone has mush mouths.
But oddly you can finally understand Hansen. Oh boy, these
(36:09):
it's so cold jokes doing anything for you?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Well, that's it.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
I'm throwing this uncle buddy notebook in the garbage. This
stuff is so dated. Who is Joey Hetherton? I never
heard of him? Peter Loopis I think I had that
in college.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 9 (36:26):
What?
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Well, listen, Marcel, try to stay cool until the repair
man gets there. But put on that polar song. I
got you for Christmas, and then the freezer. Thank god,
I'm always prepared. Oh oh oh, here comes Alberta Einstein.
I'll see you later and Marcel dust All right, bablicious,
who were to first? You need to get your license renewed.
(36:49):
Birthday already?
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Oh you lost?
Speaker 7 (36:52):
Ah.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
You went to the bank to cash your check and
the teller ask you to identify yourself. Well, of course,
you took out a mirror, a mirror out of your person,
said yeah, that's me. No, what do you mean that
wasn't good enough? What did he say? He said he
needed photo identification.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Well that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
So you showed him a picture of you with your
family and said, that's me, third from the left.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
My head.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Well, come on with glamour shots before my head explode.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
To the Mini Cooper carry out straight People.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Big boxes.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Here all your favorites from four decades of The Big
Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Buy him once, play him anywhere.
Speaker 9 (37:35):
You can shop the mid box online right now at
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 9 (37:40):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online Services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Have you missed any of the Big Show this morning.
You can hear it all the John Wore Milling lighton
Risers podcast Up next. Wherever you get your podcast, MAGANESI
subscribe to is with the free I Hard Radio app.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Love you mean It
What it is now, I'm just wearing this cologne.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
That's that smell.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
That smell, Thank you hey.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
A feature track for The Big Show mid Box Phil
McCracken's Summertime Woes. They'll go miss Summer search for keyword
woes and you hear the mid Box at the Bigshow
dot com. Okay, let's play Meet the Bard, and here
we go. Meet our contestant out of pine View, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
You say hey to Carl, Good morning, Carl, Good morning,
John boy, Hey body welcome.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
All right, Carl.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
We're gonna ask Tatter some questions. She'll answer.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
You just agree to disagree, get too right for too wrong,
and you win to go blue in.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
You cries, by god, I don't get it. All right, body,
take take Yo.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
It is the only food that provides calories but absolutely
no nutrition.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Oh god, do you know what it is?
Speaker 5 (01:33):
I think it's my most favorite food.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Sugar, sugar, sugugar, sugar.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Carl, Okay, I agree, all right, Well, now the thing
to do, yeah sugar, all right, there's a belt.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
It'd be a food group.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
All right, Well, I.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Stay in some snack food. In nineteen ninety five, the
makers of Eminem candies stop making tan eminem's what color
did they replace it with?
Speaker 5 (02:19):
Ninety five? Ninety five?
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I was four years old.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Who don't like an eminem? They replaced the tan ones
with blue.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
With blue, the blue eminems replaced the tan.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
All right, Carl, agree or disagree?
Speaker 6 (02:38):
I remember when they came out.
Speaker 7 (02:40):
I agree, and.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It took me a lot of warm up.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
The blue. I didn't like the blue.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Well, the current colors, by the way, are dark brown, yellow, green, red, orange,
and blues.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
Still got them red ones in there, huh huh so far.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, they took them out for a while because you know,
there was a rumor that it caused cancer to die.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Yeah, put it all right there.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Well, Carl, look at you winning big old blue EMU
prize back.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
We'll get down pine View for you.
Speaker 8 (03:17):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Dom Boy got it bottom of the hour, top of
your news. On the other side, we got a time capsule.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Crack that thing over. Got those a laugh, Mark September second.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Alright, m.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one exports. All right, all right, all right?
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Up next to his case number four twenty four Liian
brown and diamond lilies Versa's Reverend Or Rogers and the first.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Pettycostal church at Cooder mil Amen. Now which one of y'alls,
Miss Brown?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
That be me, judge, he's Reverend Rodgers in the court room.
You bet you.
Speaker 6 (04:38):
I'm not here, your honor, And just how are you
this fine beautiful morning?
Speaker 4 (04:44):
Oh you might want to pull back on the sub
just a tad there, smiling, I'm boring a lot of diabetes.
Now that Miss Brown says here, you are the proprietor
Diamond Lenny Gentlemen's Club.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Is that what I think it is? I'll tell you
exactly what that is, ja.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
It is a snake pit of sin and iniquity, a
black mark if there ever was one on this town
and all of its good Christian inhabitants.
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Your honor, My business is providing female companionship for local
residents and weary travelers. Or it was till Reverend Twitchy
here ruined me.
Speaker 6 (05:23):
Twitchy, you, ma'am, are not only a harlot and an insulter.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Of the men of a cloth, but you are a
liar as well. I got an idea of both of y'all.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
Shut up a bit, amen, I says here on March fifteenth,
Miss Brown opened up Diamond Lilies, where upon the first
Pentecostal church across the street there took strong exception to
the location of the new business.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Why you bet you we did.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
Only a horn mangering reprobate would open up a den
of iniquity right across the street from a church.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Judge, this snake handling cat turd. Second, when we got
through with me, I was gonna be sorry I ever
set foot in this town. Him and the rest of
them holy rollers started having prayer meetings every single night,
calling for the Lord to rain divine vengeance on me
and my business.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
All right, all right, hold on here, snake handling cat
tur I remember that.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Around for him.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
On July the twenty ninth, Diamond Lilies was completely destroyed
by fire.
Speaker 5 (06:32):
Yes, and them church people is the ones that calls
him God.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
So you're accused in the good river and here setting
fire the old property.
Speaker 6 (06:40):
Hold on just a minute, Josh, your honor, I'd like
to point out that on July the twenty ninth, and
the year of this Lord or something along them lies,
Coonerville was hit by the biggest thunderstorm in over thirty years.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
I'm sure you remember it.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
It was a storm accompanied by some of the worst
most spectacular lightning ever seen.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I don't remember that was hammering.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
But let me give us you saying it is lightning
and burnt down Miss Brown's place of business.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
I am indeed he admits it.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Them Bible beat us prayed something bad.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
What happened to me?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And it did?
Speaker 4 (07:20):
Dog darn it. They need to make this right.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
You got anything saying to that, Reverend you're honor.
Speaker 6 (07:26):
A court of law is a place of factual evidence,
and there is absolutely no factual evidence that our church
had anything to do without fire.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
We else, I'll tell you what I better judge for
over thirty years, he out, and this is one thing
that I've never seen for in my life. On the
one hand, you've got the painted up old of a
whole house who's totally sold.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
On the power of prayer.
Speaker 4 (07:49):
And on the other hand, we got a full time
preacher who says, that's a bunch of horse hockey.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Hope don't need some time to noodle on this court
to judge up through PM We hope you've enjoyed John
Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
It's lily.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Are you open for till then?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Again. Next time we'll hear Miss Lily's crusty old assistant manager.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. John
Boy and Dilly Reverend, the little boxes right over there house.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Good morning radio, done right, good morning. It's a big
(08:55):
show on the radio. Well, the summer movie season is
cooling down. See if there's any more hot releases left
here to tell us about his latest adventure to the cinema.
Is a resident critic, Rabbi Myron berg Stein, Come on in, Rabbi.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Showobi homies. What's happening? Big show gangs? Oh, I guess
you went to the movies.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Oo, good gush, look at the big brain on John Boy. No,
I didn't see a movie. I'm here they share my
craplock recipe. Of course I saw a movie. I saw
a bunch of them.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Well, spill the beans, Daddy O.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Spilled the beans, Daddy O shoe tell me Potzi what
time is Richie and Ruth Mouth coming over? Shut up,
you dope, sorry, so please continue. So I saw a
bunch of stuff. I saw that diner Shall movie. Eh.
I saw the super Guy movie Double Man. I saw
(09:55):
the movie with the the see through gyle, The Rock
Guy the fire Guy and Stretch Armstrong Quadrupleni. The nude
Pistol was pretty good. That blonde with the big chances
in it. Pamela Anderson, Pamela, Wamela, Bamela, thank you, mamma
what she should be called? She got some miles on her,
(10:18):
but those are highway miles and from where I was sitting,
there's still some cred on them.
Speaker 9 (10:24):
Pie.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Oh well, how was everybody else? There were other people
in the movie.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Okay, so which movie are you reviewing today? Okay, I
read the shee Nobody's left too. I think it's just
nobody too. Did you see the movie Trust Me? Nobody's
left big body count. Uh, he was stacking him like Cordwood.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So you remember the first one when he got involved
with the Ruskies and he and his dad and another
guy just wiped them out.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Then you are gonna love base Fund. He and the
family go on vacation to this little tour trap place,
but it's not fun and games for long. In no time,
he winds up and the cross hairs of a corrupt
theme park operator, a didy sheriff and the blood tisty
lady crime boss o Lady Crime Balls. Interesting, Yeah, played
(11:15):
bite that dame that got the famous for crossing her legs.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
In that movie. Did she cross her legs in this one?
Speaker 7 (11:22):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
But that was still good.
Speaker 4 (11:25):
And the lead guy is so great, the great comedian,
Bob Hope Odenkirk.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Cover your mouth when you bite. The actor you're thinking
of is Bob Odenkirk.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
I thought that was the white guy with the afro
that thought frustrated housewives how to paint happy little trees.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
That's Bob Rows.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I thought that was the famous singer who you could
never sing along with because nobody.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Knew what the hell he was saying.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
That's Bob Dylan.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
I thought that was the guy who always yelled come
on down and then told you to cut your dog's
balls off.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
That's Bob Barker.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I thought that was the singer who was always hopped
up on goofen toll and head hair like long fuzzy turns.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
That's Bob Marley. Oh, I thought that was a break.
That's Bob White. I thought that's what boxes did. That's
Bob and Weave. So who the hell am I thinking of?
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Bob Odenkirk, the only guy in history to have a
twenty year career painting the same.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Damp picture over and over again. So what did you think?
Speaker 4 (12:36):
I think he should have painted a happy pony or
a smiling dog. Would it kill you to chase things up? Yah?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Cookie head bastard.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Know the movie? Well, I gotta tell you, I give
it five out of five, yamackers. There's nothing like seeing
a bunch of crooked a holes get hung out to dry.
My biggest complaint is that it's only an hour and
a half.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2 (12:59):
What did your run out of?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Goon's the blow Away?
Speaker 4 (13:02):
But other than that, it's the perfect cinematic end to
a crappy, so so movie Summer. But maybe this isn't
your cup of tea.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (13:10):
Maybe some of you sympathize with the criminals and no
good knicks getting what's coming to him. Maybe that's why
you spend all your time in your mom's basement being
a keyboard tough guy, putting on a black mask and
marching around with your equally stupid friends crapping on everything American.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Well you know what they might make.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Nobody's left three and I'm sure the movie people would
love to have a bunch of you, shiftless, gutless, clueless
comedy butt wipes the users cannon father and let me
tell you I would love it. But you know, rare
clean undis in case your mom has to identify you.
God bless and remember see him at nay.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
It's cheap. Good morning, and you got a big show
on a radio. More chances for you to win coming
up after your news.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
Weather and sports.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Oh, oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I didn't see you, Lea.
Speaker 10 (14:03):
This is Professor Merwyn handed Day, head of hey ah, oh,
head of Big Show Science and History Division. And you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Yo. When I say there will be history, I didn't
mean to apply a negative.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I simply meant that they they Oh.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
What did I mean?
Speaker 3 (15:03):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. How
many people got their hands on my wonderful thing? One
hundred and fifty four to count right now? Could you
be number one hundred and fifty five?
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Lucky enough?
Speaker 9 (15:19):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
This is nice a costa Rican peddler's bracelet. I was
fishing out at os Swingels Marina. It's out of Hockeo
in the Coasta Deca. The little kids won't leave you
alone till you buy something. I said, Wow, get you
is something and give it away to a lucky Big
Show listener.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
It's a great business plan.
Speaker 5 (15:40):
I should look at you.
Speaker 3 (15:43):
Uh well, check it out. Get your name and a
hat when you go to the Big Show dot com.
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio. Hard
hang on, got a call coming in hot on our
back to school show. First, tell you what you can win.
If you can win, wordy word, Here is just the
second one hundred and twenty dollars worth of Bullsnot cleaning
(16:04):
products made in the USA. Drug drivers keep America moving
a bull snot make sure they look good doing it.
Fine bullsnouted drug stops across America. Download that bull Snot app.
Click on the link at the Big Show dot Com.
We play in Minneso. Get this Good morning, Big Show.
Speaker 11 (16:19):
Well, good morning there, John Boyn Billy, and good morning
to all our beloved friends out there in radio land.
This here's a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sorda,
Joshua Independent Full Gospel Pennycostal Assembly just off Street Road
twenty three on the Frontage Road. The Sorda Joshua Independent
Full Gospel Pennycoastal Day School is getting geared up for
(16:42):
our annual back to school student mixer and Bible Bash
next Saturday night. I'll be your headmaster of Ceremonies as
we orientate the new class in our brightly lit and
deeply unromantic church activity center. After a lovely prepared covered
dish supper by the women's auxiliary, we'll do a half
(17:04):
hour presentation of the school's official Code of conduct. And
then it's ninety minutes of obsessively chaperoned live entertainment with
the biblically accurate and downright undanceable sounds of five blind boys.
Speaker 9 (17:20):
And one ugly one mast to their acapella renditions of
sanctified classics from the nineteen fifty six Red Hymnal. The
only thing your young'uns will be shaken is their finger
in the face of the backsliders. And no sort of
Joshua Youth event is complete without a soul stirring gospel
presentation from our youth pastor, Ricky Dale Gilmore, the man
(17:45):
who puts the hip in Hypocrites are gonna burn in hell.
Though y'all act like you got some smarts. Oh special
note for parents who still send their kids to the
godless secular education system, we still got slots left in
our k through twelve classes this year. You do not
need to be enrolled to attend next week's sanctified education celebration.
(18:08):
And thanks to a generous love offering from Brother Don
Baldwin at Tire Kingdom Number fourteen, we're offering an interest free,
easy payment plan for this year's tuition. Bible based education
don't have to be a burden anymore, So bring your mouthy,
back talking young bee holes to the event and we'll
get them signed up right on the spot. Just because
(18:30):
you're going to hell don't mean they have to. The
back to school student Mixer and Bible Bash next Saturday,
starting at six o'clock PM at the Sword of Joshua
Independent Full of Gospell Pennycossal Assembly, just off State Road
twenty three on the Funny Road. This here's a Reverend
Billy Ray Collins reminding you and it's time to turn,
(18:52):
so you don't b John Boy and Billy z y'all
keep them straight.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Up the excellent way that our back to school show.
Reverend billar Ray, thank you.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Let's play worthy word one eight hundred Big show you
told free line. We'll get a couple of contestants and
play next. Good morning, there's a big show on the
(19:36):
radio for your Tuesday, September. The second still got b
request Mango coming up in minute, and our future track
for the big show bit bogs.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
We ain't done yet, and we got two rounds of
worthy word right now. Everybody's head about the bed. A
word not a worthy word.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
Let's meet a contestants. We got show from Richwood, West, Virginia.
Good morning, Shelley, Yeah, real good.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Maybe it's gonna be me and you playing today.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
And you got Alex out of Jacksonville, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Good morning, Alex. Morning, don boy, Hello body, welcome in here.
You got Tater on your team today. All right, that's right, okay,
good glad y'all here Shelley and Alex.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Okay, four letter words, y'all were dealing with four letter words.
If that helps, if you can tuck that away in
your brain when you're trying to reach for these words
that we're gonna put right to you. I like you.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Relax me and Shelley for round one. You ready, Shelley,
I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (20:46):
Okay, start the clock now, blank my glass with the
beer all the way to the top.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Blanket to the top. What what do you do gas
in your car? Blanket up? Blanket? Yes, Phil?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Okay, Oh I blanked myself. I got a broken bone.
I blanked myself.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
What did I do?
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Uh?
Speaker 12 (21:14):
What?
Speaker 4 (21:15):
No?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Yes, okay, blank don't blank it man, just snunk it
up there. So we got to Phil and two on
the board. That's tough to all right, let's see what
Tater and Alys can do for the round one?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
You ready, Alex, Yes, okay, and go.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
They used to call this at a store when it
was in a brown bag. They just called it a
blank bag. You would just run in and blanket you'd
or blank a snack real quick means to get something, No,
to pick it up real quick. Just uh, it's a
blank bag.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Oh hey, it's my birthday. You get gave me a present,
you gave me a what a blank?
Speaker 11 (22:03):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
I'm doing this right now the speaking What am I doing?
I'm hey?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
You put this on the end of your hook when
you go fishing earth blank.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Or all right, don't we all put a four on
the board to take the lead for the two. All right, now, Shelley,
we could use some points here. Let's see if we
can get some good words. All right, four letter words
you ready, Shelly? Yes, okay, start the clock now. The
sun will blank in the morning. Yes, the blank will
(22:36):
come out at night noon. And this is the big blank.
You're listening to the big.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Blank, big show.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
Uh huh. A blank in the bucket. A blank in
the bucket, one little not a drip but a.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
What come on? Come on?
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah? No blank?
Speaker 9 (23:03):
What? Oh?
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Ho at?
Speaker 8 (23:06):
A word?
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:07):
My bad? All right, let's see what we're doing there.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Tayta at three three two.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
That is a five score for Shelley. So Alex and Tator,
all you need is one to tie and two will win.
It's just laying there much like Tator's birthday.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
Ready, Alex, here you go, buddy, start the clock now.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Oh, make sure you don't blank the baby or no, okay,
hold on, I please hand me a cock blank?
Speaker 9 (23:44):
What is it?
Speaker 8 (23:45):
A cock?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
No?
Speaker 5 (23:49):
You know you you know, like if you have something,
you're holding something up and you let it go, what
does it do it? Blanks to the ground, yes.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Drop it tied up?
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Oh crap?
Speaker 9 (23:58):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
This is you do your hair?
Speaker 5 (24:01):
Down the middle. You blanket.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Uh, yes, hard for the wind.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
I started to lay back on you. I was like,
oh it works so hard to tell. Yeah, and Raydon
say rain dropping. We need one of us gonna.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Think a rain drop?
Speaker 9 (24:17):
You know what that was?
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Understand the hands, and I said Jelli.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Bradwick giving her clues. Just turn the page over.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
I'm going And all right, Shelley, we came up a
little short, but we won't give you another shot down
the road.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
All right, baby, i'ms all. I didn't have you up.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
All right, Okay, Shlley, thanks for playing baby. Thanks John Boy,
all right, sweetie and Alex and Jacksonville you got your
prize pack coming away bug, congratulations.
Speaker 7 (24:42):
Appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
John Boy might give a shout out, Yeah, you go ahead.
Speaker 4 (24:46):
I won't give a shout out to my boys down
there South Jay, the mess society to see one set,
one group killing.
Speaker 6 (24:52):
How about them dogs, babies, let's get it this season.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Had the boy appreciate you with you?
Speaker 3 (24:58):
It was Alex I hang o, good morning, I got
the big show on the radio, got our bid request
for the morning right here. Matt Bowling out of Salisbury,
North Carolina. Matt says, y'all, bit request Delusional Girl double
exclamation point love that song?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
All right, man, that is a good girl.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Taylor is singing like aoc before she was out escort
and Mondami Decami around New York.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
A was an escort.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
No no, no, she's playing one on the song. Okay,
let's find out why Matt likes this so much?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Is up next? That is sweet and Sugars.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
The Big Show on the Radio featured track from the
Big Show bit Box Phil mcgragen. We're getting over summertimes
rating back, let's go, Phil's got summertime wolves. I need
to do a keyword wove u geechee and Phil spotting
a bit bob.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
I know we read it.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Okay, okay, back, Yeah yeah, Matt. Matt from Salisbury. I'm
gonna go back to Matt. I got your request right here.
Entitled delusional Girl.
Speaker 12 (27:00):
Far Now I'm ast big shine up Congress. How I
get this far? Comust love me? I'm there here. I
just don't see.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
That I'm a coolest.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Do first?
Speaker 12 (27:19):
Coutu mass meau. They are the road in an illusional
world and dying a delusion of girl.
Speaker 9 (27:29):
You know that they are ro a delusional world, dying.
Speaker 12 (27:34):
Avolutional world, lots of plans to see those world we
see to do with now real love cars and plans
as trains the most parties.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Cows no more border out gons.
Speaker 12 (28:00):
It so excuse, I don't know how we will be
for sounds good to the pools because they are in
the emotional world and dying about amution over that they
are deliberal inusion world.
Speaker 7 (28:23):
Amos anything in the world, everything in the old world,
pay anything as world thing again, losing world.
Speaker 12 (28:45):
A soption really Western numbers town, but plastics will make
me reach the friends can flo tell because we are
dead brow something your delusion and you know that we
(29:07):
are dead brow and I'm just a delusion of the
rock and noting your molusions and noting a delusion of
(29:32):
a delusion, a delusion, a delusional delusional think.
Speaker 8 (29:40):
Again, not ALUs, thank again, that delution all the world
bank again, the delusion world bank, that delusion world live again,
the illusion world bank again, not alusion. Getting up by
(30:06):
getting up the world.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
Man, that's Grammy worthy. Greasing in the grass.
Speaker 4 (30:39):
It's the gas.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Maybe can't you a big I'm sorry?
Speaker 3 (30:47):
You know how these umpa bad music affects me when
I get it in. I can't let it go.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Okay, I'll let it go.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
Because I featured track from The Big Show Boxes Fill
McCracken keyword woes.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Summer time and my forehead is greasy.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
My pets are staying Mama, don't you know hand, I'm
chafing my thigh.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
This heats a.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Bitch, and my man parts are cooking. And I hear
that it's worse when you go outside. Holo, Babs, Oh,
just trying to stay cool. The ac is out back
at Cassa McCracken. Oh, this humidity. Oh, my stars and garters.
(31:48):
If I had hair, i'd look like that guy that
paints on TV. The air is so wet. I walk
outside and I feel like Lloyd Bridges from every episode
at Sea Hunt.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I'm already on my second.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
Bottle of gold bond powder today and all I've done
is make gallons of menthold gravy. This is the kind
of heat that has trees whistling for dogs. It's so
hot my shadow exploded. The squirrels in my neighborhood are
soaking their nuts and ice water. The birds are pulling
worms out of the ground with potholders. Every morning when
(32:23):
I wake up The first thing I do is put
my pillow in the dryer. I got a loaf of
bread at the store. By the time I got home
it with toast. Amish women are wearing Daisy dukes. Lance
Armstrong tested positive for gatorade. I saw a funeral procession
pull into dairy queen. This is what they call Bernie Sanders,
Weather ninety five and hazy. So tell me these humidity
(32:50):
jokes doing anything for it? I didn't come up with them.
I just found Uncle Buddy's notebook in the bathroom again.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
So what's new with you?
Speaker 4 (32:58):
Oh? You found a box of mements from your school days.
That's fun, isn't it? Looking back on memories? What's this
a trophy?
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Look at you, miss thing? What's it say? Best best
figure in the third grade? Best figure in the third grade?
Why you must have been an early bloomer. No, you
were eighteen. Okay, listen, listen. Why don't you take the
scooter to the pooter and refresh your fab and then
(33:31):
we'll run our errands. Okay, okay, okay, Off you go,
cheek the glow, little Hope. There's so much that she
don't know been plugged more than a banjo and Geez
gone fine.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
When she and her friend set in a circle, I
call it a dope ring do would have been a
big show both speaking them.
Speaker 9 (33:56):
Have you.
Speaker 4 (33:59):
Excuse me? You you want to speak to astro nerd.
You know, despite what he might tell you, he doesn't
work here, right, You want to tell him that you
can't stand him.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
That is that his segment sucks. Sir, sir, sir, slow down.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
I can't write that back, that he's the most boring
person in the world, that he should go back to
his nerdery with the other pointy heads and never ever
come back on the show again. And if you ever
have to listen to him again, you're gonna come over
here and pound him into the ground like a tense steak.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Could you hold please, Randy?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
I know that's you.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Finally some constructive criticism. Oh summer time, Oh jesus, people
are slow.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Next your fuffing I'm have you?
Speaker 4 (35:04):
Oh Marcel, please tell me has the air conditioned to
repair a guy been there yet? This is brutal. Oh
thank god the AC in the mini works. The drive
here was just long enough to drive the sweat stains
on my shirt from my manfold and my shoes forget
about it. I put odo eaters in my shoes and
they dissolved like alka seltzer. Then you walk in here
(35:27):
and it's like ice stationed Debra. You can see everyone's
breath and they aren't even eating barbecue today.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
It's wild.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
I'm sorry, what is that? How cold is it? Hold
on one second, It's so cold.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I chip my tooth on my soup.
Speaker 4 (35:44):
It's so cold that everyone is playing Ring tossed with
Tater's high beans. It's so cold. I spilled coffee on
my lap on purpose. It's so cold in here. Governor
mccroy kept his hands in his own pocket instead of
the taxpayers. It's so cold in here. Everyone has mush mouths.
But oddly you can finally understand Hansen. Oh boy, these
(36:09):
it's so cold jokes doing anything for you?
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Well, that's it.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
I'm throwing this uncle buddy notebook in the garbage. This
stuff is so dated. Who is Joey Hetherton? I never
heard of him? Peter Loopis I think I had that
in college.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 9 (36:26):
What?
Speaker 4 (36:27):
Well, listen, Marcel, try to stay cool until the repair
man gets there. But put on that polar song. I
got you for Christmas, and then the freezer. Thank god,
I'm always prepared. Oh oh oh, here comes Alberta Einstein.
I'll see you later and Marcel dust All right, bablicious,
who were to first? You need to get your license renewed.
(36:49):
Birthday already?
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Oh you lost?
Speaker 7 (36:52):
Ah.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
You went to the bank to cash your check and
the teller ask you to identify yourself. Well, of course,
you took out a mirror, a mirror out of your person,
said yeah, that's me. No, what do you mean that
wasn't good enough? What did he say? He said he
needed photo identification.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Well that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
So you showed him a picture of you with your
family and said, that's me, third from the left.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
My head.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Well, come on with glamour shots before my head explode.
Speaker 4 (37:24):
To the Mini Cooper carry out straight People.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Big boxes.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
Here all your favorites from four decades of The Big
Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Buy him once, play him anywhere.
Speaker 9 (37:35):
You can shop the mid box online right now at
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 9 (37:40):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online Services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
Have you missed any of the Big Show this morning.
You can hear it all the John Wore Milling lighton
Risers podcast Up next. Wherever you get your podcast, MAGANESI
subscribe to is with the free I Hard Radio app.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
Love you mean It
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