August 20, 2024 • 48 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Tater has a new edition of What to Watch.. - It’s National Radio Day - and we an educational film that about our workplace.. - Mr. Rhubarb’s has a grizzly story about a couple of bear scientists.. - In honor of the Pokemon World Championships that took place last weekend, we’ll have the Grumpy Old Man to weigh-in.. - Terry Hanson has his Sports Briefs - today he tells us how Slim Whitman helped him put butts in stadium seats!.. - Mad Max goes off on School Buses.. - and the Grumpy Old Man hates fake meat..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good Morning, Big Shows on the radio. Coming up, we
play Beating the Blonde for a Fishing Cycles prize pack,
high quality electric bikes and affordable prices. Go off road
with a Fission seven fifty X all Terrain e bike
features fat tires, adjustable suspension and a powerful seven hundred
and fifty watt motor. Register to win yours at fissioncycles
(00:23):
dot com. Of course we got to set up click
on the link at the Big Show dot Com. Good
love gets your name of the hat in minutes. First,
let's do it. Bring in a grumpy old man.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Flibbertyflu I'm old and I hate pokey man girl. In
my day, we didn't have no time wasting brain rotten fantasy,
chasing moron, fascinating nud arousing, lose a, delighting technological touch
s quitting nutsense. If we had a mind to wander
(01:01):
around capturing ugly little misshapen deformed freaks with stupid names,
we didn't need a celliphone. We did it the easy way.
We went to a family reunion.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Oh it's finally here.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
The glorious age of stupidity is upon us. Instead of
creating important stuff like flying cars and women who don't talk.
These geniuses had to use their college educated brains to
make Pokemon Go. They should have made worky Mond Go,
(01:39):
where those fat, pasty faced losers finally crawled out of
their parents' root seller to walk around looking for a
damn job and ward off type two diabetes at the
same time. I'm looking for peak at you. You should
look in the mirror and take a peek at you,
being a worthless sac of crack?
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Can you believe it?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Grown men risking life and limb to go hunting critters
that you can't even eat once you catch them. Huge
herds of morons trampling each other to catch a fat
yellow monkey cat on that damn phone which they put
the most important Pokemon someplace where it would do some good,
like about ten feet off of the edge of a cliff.
(02:27):
Pokemon Go bah, more like Pokemon Go, screw yourself. In
my day, the only Pokemon you got was when your
cell made was a Jamaican guy. No, we used to
play real games that didn't cost us nothing but our
(02:49):
human dignity, games like What's Your mom?
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Way and Swallow.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
The Road, Apple Booker, stacking and fotting in the oatmeal
and is your sister fourteen yet, but no game was
more popular and more dangerous than paint your ass red
and moon the Bull. It all started one day when
Rusty Puss Mutton set in a red paint while we
(03:19):
was painting the bond. Why he was doing it naked
is still a mystery, but there he was, buck naked
with a big red hind ind. He was walking down
to the swimming hole to wash it off when Old
Percy the Bull seed him. Percy was half crazy with
cow siphless, and it didn't help that one of his
(03:40):
horns had curled around and slowly grown into the side
of his head and threw his brain. And when he
saw Rusty's red butt, he popped a spring. Rusty was
pretty agile and managed to keep from getting skewed. But
before long we were all doing it. But we were
slow and stupid because we'd been in bread for generations,
(04:01):
and Percy gord us and stacked us like cordwood, stringing
our guts like hillbilly bungee cords, and kicking our empty
stupid grin and skulls around the field like a cousin
loving soccer ball whooped ding dang doodle poodle look at me.
I'm an ignorant hillbilly taught in a mentally challenged bull
with vedie to use my butt for target practice, slinging
(04:24):
us around by our guts like a Filipino yo yo master. Whoopee,
I'm a human shish kebob all hailed Charles Darwin, and
we liked it.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
The closest thing we had the pokey Man was when
crazy old brewster mctin nipple caught a leprechaun copping a
squat behind old Lady Friedaman's bond. The little fella's name
was Finnegan. Oh, shut your hold, and he was a pistol.
Oh Tinny let him around on a leaf looking for
his pot of gold. We all told him he was
(05:03):
full of the hooey, that it was just a knobby
little munchkin with lucile Ball's hand, but he swore to
all that was holy that it was a leprechaun, And
sure enough, two days later that little guma took him
straight to that pot of gold. And once Titty had
the gold, he didn't need Finnegan no more and turned
him loose. But it seemed Finnegan wasn't too keen about
(05:25):
giving his golden nest egg to some half with hay seed,
and took after.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Him with a shelley.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Tiny picked up an axe and cleaned that little redheaded
maniac cleaning too, But those two halves turned into two leprechauns.
Titty kept chopping and the leprechauns kept him multiplying. Titty
was out numbered, and before long they tore him to pieces,
totally touling as they did it. Fearing retribution for their massacre,
(05:53):
three hundred bloodthirsty leprechauns roared the countryside, rendering us all
limb from limb feast and on our entrails and our
bloodlines when extinct, and all that was left of us
to be remembered were tightly coiled piles of leprechaun duty. Yahoo, Wow,
you hoo, howdy, look at me. I'm a gold crazy
leprechaun murderer, knit wit, setting up everyone to be a
(06:17):
sord off cannibal buffet, going to my eternal reward through
the colon of a mythological midget, laid to rest next
to a pile of poodle poop. Glory, Hallelujah, What a
wonderful world A buffalo flopping, I hate POKEMONO.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Glad to grumpy old man wasn't in Hawaii this weekend?
All right, well, let's play Beat the Blonde. Y'all. Come
on over that Vision Cycles Prize Pack one eight hundred
Big Show. You told free line you're the contestant, and
play next. Good morning, there's a big show on the
(07:17):
radio running through your Tuesday, August twentieth. Today's feature track
from the Big Show bit box. The Grumpy old Man
hates fake meat? You go all on Pokemon. How's me
feel about fake meat? Can I guess neck out the
bit box?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
One of the key words fake meat there right down.
That's a real life beating the blondins me not contestant
for you. Think about it. Carrie from Standing Rock, Alabama,
Good morning, Carrie, Good morning, job boy, Hey my no nobody, Hey,
(07:58):
all right here, we gonna ask Tater some questions. You
agree or disagree, get two bells before two buzzers, and
you get the big old prize back. Carry all right,
All right, well, let's start around ten pm where Tater
starts to shine on north. Who is more likely to
(08:23):
be in bed by ten pm? The average American man
or woman.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Whichever is first is do it wrong? Their average the
average American woman.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
It's the woman carry agree or disagree?
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Man, I know at my house is the woman.
Speaker 7 (08:47):
So I will have to agree with Taylor. So that
was a day to noon.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
It is the American woman. I'm adaking Mormon right now. Okay,
one more, mail't care and you go get the prize back?
Worn out? All right?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
There we go, here we go.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
According to doctors, can spending the night in a sleeping
bag do anything good for you?
Speaker 5 (09:23):
Well, park ranger brought me a new car.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
You tell me.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Your picnic basket. No sleeping spending the night in a
sleeping bag cannot do anything good for you.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
You know what? I have got time for that man.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
She's right, she's got I'm gonna have to agree with.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Green Weather, hon and ya no, yes, well think about it.
According to uh Houston, Texas Hospital study, sore muscles are
effectively eased by the uniform heat provided by the sleeping bag.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
Yeah, but what about that hard ground.
Speaker 8 (10:13):
This study funded by a sleeping bag manufactory.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Well, here we go.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
We're gonna win it or lose it right here. And
we're talking statistically. Do men who kiss their partner goodbye.
As they go to work, tend to make more money.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Define good work.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Out the door.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
You get.
Speaker 9 (10:44):
More money.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
When there's a MANswers here going here. Just more money.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Yes, statatistically, yes, yes they do. Statistically they tend to
make more money.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
Oh man, golly, all right, man, I agree with her
every time.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
I'm gonna disagree this sound Why you won't do that?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yes, you're round there. Okay, well, okay, go kiss your wife.
Good night, morsan goes man.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
And give me a sleeping bag.
Speaker 10 (11:28):
All right, man, thank y'all.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Anyway, bro, thank y'all with your body.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Thank you all.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Let's jump out, catch you up on your news. Give
us time.
Speaker 8 (11:43):
That does up a time.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Captas on Tunesday Morning Life. Only on the side.
Speaker 11 (12:17):
This is the award winning Joh Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
The clock strikes one, Spirit, Spirit, are you there? Jacob
Marley told me of your coming, be merciful kind Spirit.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
I beg of the nothing I knew it? Spirit, humbu? No, yes,
only at one o'clock. Are they just getting started? Are
(13:06):
you one of the spirits who's coming was foretold to me?
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
No, I gave them the night off. You know what
they say, who's company and five is a orgy.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I suppose I can get them back if that sort
of thing tickles your trigger.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
But Jacob Marley told me Nicko Marley.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Woo, he's too kinky for me. Baby, All them change
makes it hard to change positions. I don't like being
tied to one spot. But for you, I might make
an exception.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Who heavens who oh what are you?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I'm the ghost of about to get my Christmas freak on? Baby,
I'm got a aunt your dream. Oh I hear you're
pretty good at pinching penny. How about trying that grip
out on the iron boot?
Speaker 9 (14:03):
If it's all the same to you, right, prefer the
three spirits who were supposed to come and teach me
to believe in Christmas.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I got your free spirits right here, baby, Vodka, gin
and FuMO. Drink enough of this and you're believing the
Easter Bunny and the two things, and I'll Schwazenagger for president.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I see this is some sort of a cheap parlor trick.
This has the stink of Bob Cratchit all over it.
He puts you up to this didn't he That ain't Bob.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Cratcher stinking up the joint. I've been to two other
parties tonight. Bob Cratcher ain't got time to fool with you, baby.
He already got hisself a hobby. Just look at all them, younger.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Eat a freak.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
You can line a few things from him.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
You're not implying that we should block baby.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I brought my own missile toe, half a gallon of pepper,
mitmesage ail, and a wagon. I'm fixing the rupt you
the right way. Lessen you one of them sugar plum ferries.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Please, I beseech you leave me in peace. Why do
you trouble me?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Woo? I like all you cheap old Christmas men. God,
I snug with the cash, but loose with the trash.
Donald Trump, Lei Cocher, how are you? Robert d Rayford
All Robert Dean rath Hey' the only other white man
that would make me mark little spirits.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I've learned by lesson I would keep Christmas in my heart.
Just spare me further, tor. Men can't take the suspense
no longer.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
All right, baby, here you are Christmas present. I just
don't wrap it for you. I feel so bound. Please,
if you go, I'll screen the wood.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
I ain't promised, I hope. So it's been a while.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Come get your little oh oh oh, I'm gonna work
you like a rip on.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Mary Grifflin, Baby, you're on.
Speaker 11 (16:11):
My hair, Shawn Boy and Billy. Good morning radio, done right.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
There's a big sea on the radio. Run into your
Tuesday Tuesay already, all right, turned my microphone off. Action.
Speaker 12 (17:03):
Hello friends, your old pal burn Burn here with another
falange frightening entry of John, Bully and Billy playhouse today's
episode Animal Control. As our story opens, a distraught suburban
housewife waits for the animal control officer.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
You over here, Are you the animal guy?
Speaker 12 (17:23):
Yes, ma'am, guy Animal, the animal guide. I make your
credits skinner. Now I might to understand. You have a
full grown gorilla in your mango tree. That's right.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
Look look there he is there he is.
Speaker 12 (17:34):
Oh yeah, that's a gorilla, all right, and he is
a biggin.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
So is this something you think you can handle?
Speaker 12 (17:41):
Yes, ma'am, got everything I need.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
So all you've got is a ladder like an eight
foot metal pole, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun
and a row wiler, Yes, ma'am. How's that gonna work?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Will, ma'am?
Speaker 12 (17:53):
The procedure is, first, I strategically placed the ladder in
a safe, yet accessible site on the mango tree. Next,
shimmy up the aforementioned ladder with this pole. When the
gorilla isn't looking, I'll take this pole and stick him
in what is referred to in the business as his poop. Shoot.
This will startle the gorilla, causing him to fall, and
in a split second, the rot wiler will clamp jaws
(18:15):
down on his gorilla McNuggets. Oh dear, pretty much the
gorilla's reaction. Now at that time, I shimmy down the ladder,
and while the gorilla is disoriented, I slap on the
cuffs and hustle him into the cage in the back
of the truck.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
What about the shotgun, oh.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Ma'am, that is for you.
Speaker 12 (18:30):
What if, by chance the gorilla knocks me out of
the tree, shoot the dogs.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
And how.
Speaker 12 (18:43):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse. To
distract the gorilla, could you possibly undo those top two buttons?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Stop?
Speaker 12 (18:52):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the crusty old
rotwiler ball chomping trainers say.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Good morning.
Speaker 12 (19:03):
The big shows on the radio hangout, all right, listen
to you, mog.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
It's time to button your yaps.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Say, I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 12 (19:12):
Yeah, the big Show. It's big, say bigger than big.
It's enormous. Hey he's adorable.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Been
celebrating National Radio Day today. The thing I confiscated this
film from my eighth grade class, but spent my twig
towards this wonderful profession with the lights. Turn it off?
Speaker 6 (20:09):
All right, you ready? All right?
Speaker 13 (20:11):
We got this educational film for local eighth grade class
about radio. It's my send it to us. Thought it
might be interested. So I got the projector set up here.
Let's watch and learn, maybe learn something about our business
that we're in here, and return it there.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Oh yeah, it's like I remember it.
Speaker 14 (20:28):
Let's go and engine plimited film the radio station. Long
before you get up for school, people at the radio
station are already busy.
Speaker 15 (20:47):
Starting their debbie, even before the sun comes out the morning.
This jockey has already done many interesting themes. Oh look,
smoked cigarettes. Peter is the reporter.
Speaker 14 (21:11):
The reporter does news from a different room because the
disc jockey smells like what he drank the night before.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
And the interesting people who work here. This is the
sales staff.
Speaker 16 (21:24):
Sometimes when they're not drinking, they make deals with advertisers.
They trade radio airtime for free things like dinner, vacations, bookers,
and free drinks.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
This is the programming director. He's silly, isn't he.
Speaker 15 (21:47):
Monke. He's acting like he knows what he's doing. This
disc jockey works it in the right. He's talking through
a young girl on the phone. He's voting down his tent. Hey,
it's awfully late at night for the morning disc jockey
(22:07):
to be here. Those are called resume maties. Hey, wait
a minute, there's his girlfriend. Hey she's the general manager's wife.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh no, oh my goodness.
Speaker 17 (22:20):
On the film brough close every you're back up.
Speaker 6 (22:22):
You get to a little bit of.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Good morning, Got the big show on the radio. Got
wordy word coming up for Mount Olive, Pickles, Prize Bay
and Clues, Mount Olive hat T shirt and the three
back of pickle Juicers. Mount alive Probably sports. A National
Wheelchair Basketball Association Team USA goes for the gold of
the Paralympic Games in Paris beginning in August twenty eighth
gold Team USA.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
And now the wonder my.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
World of sports, the time Man Hay, Mary's hands.
Speaker 17 (22:49):
On, Turby handsome all the world of sports. Here's how
you never want to see you shorts. He's got spooks on, who's.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Got a contract?
Speaker 17 (22:57):
Who's up the dude as who might be? The show
presents streets Rough.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
Good morning, Terry, Hey buddy, how you doing?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Just awesome? Man, be looking forward to your time with us.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Now.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
In these weekly reports, we heard about some of your
coaching and management career. Love in your World a Sports.
We had in touch much on being a front office
executive where you had to promote games and attendance, and
he hit on that little bit for us.
Speaker 7 (23:26):
I was right out of coaching. I mean I didn't
know anything about if instinct.
Speaker 10 (23:32):
You've got to identify your office or demographic and all
that stuff. And I had to sell tickets. I mean
that's what I had to do for the first three
years of my career. And we got down to Atlanta.
We had outdoor soccer obviously, but indoor soccer was a
complete different demographic. Outdoor were parents with kids that are playing,
(23:54):
and so it's a different thing. And TBS at that
time had overnight stuff that was like remember the Pope
heal hocket fisherman to ensue knife and do you remember
a guy bout him a Slim Whitman. Oh yeah, okay,
I'm calling you all right, Slim Slim becomes a cult favorite.
Speaker 7 (24:15):
Okay, we pick up on that.
Speaker 10 (24:18):
So I get a hold of Swim and I hire
him for twenty five dollars and two first class airplane
tickets from Jacksonville to Atlanta. Okay, so he shows up
in a motorhome because of course he casts the tickets
in for money with his son Byron, and we have
a big promotion and Georgia Tech people really really pick
(24:41):
up on it, and we sell the joint out. After
the game, we have a Slim Whitmand concert and it
was really something. But then on Tuesday, I get a
call from the OMNI personnel. He's still there in his
motor home, so we had to on there and tell
him to go back to Florida. And then the other
(25:04):
thing that we ran up against, which is a real conflict.
Remember the TV show Dallas. Oh yeah, well you know
in March twenty first, nineteen eighty, they had the who
shot Jr? Right, and our game was right up against that.
Speaker 7 (25:18):
So what are you gonna do? I mean, you feel
sorry for yourself? You go out. We got Delta to
give us four trips to Jamaica.
Speaker 10 (25:25):
And then when you came in with your ticket, they
handed you a small card and you wrote on that
card who you thought killed Jr. Then they had boxes
over there you could drop yours in a slot in
the box. During the game is when the show was on.
So after the game we put big screens out and
we showed it, and that after we showed it.
Speaker 7 (25:44):
We went over to who it was. It was Kristin
Shephard Mary Crosby and pulled that out and pull out two.
Speaker 10 (25:51):
Winners, and each winner got four trips to our four
things to go to Jamaica, four knights in Jamaica for
eight a total obate.
Speaker 7 (26:01):
So that's kind of how we sold that out. That's
how we dealt with it. You've got to make you know,
you've got to make limiting that lemons right.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
That's awesome, man, so awesome and slim women, a Paloma blanca.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
He was.
Speaker 7 (26:18):
He was so goofy. He was good.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I got a good part motor home.
Speaker 7 (26:24):
Here me a love song. Was the name of that?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Oh yeah, man, awesome one one I wanted to ask
you about. We didn't get it last week. Chee chee.
Rodriguez passed away at age eighty eight. Was Was he
planning your time at the PGA?
Speaker 9 (26:44):
He was?
Speaker 7 (26:44):
And he was a real showman. I love.
Speaker 10 (26:47):
CBS came to me and said how much they liked it.
So I went to him and told him to keep
doing this. You know, he pull uck the imaginary swords.
Speaker 18 (26:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (26:57):
I got to know him later on, and he's a
real good man. And he grew up poor, but he
really turned out to be a terrific guy and a
great golf.
Speaker 6 (27:06):
Good to hear.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
A good deal. Give me a little sneak peek about
next week, something about the Golden Boy.
Speaker 7 (27:12):
That would be Paul Horning.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
All right, good deal.
Speaker 7 (27:15):
We have a Paul Horning story that I think you'll probably.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Enjoy, a good deal, Terrence, Thank you so much, buddy.
I have a great rest of your week. Catch up
with you, okay, man, see you guys all right then,
let's play our wordy word one. Ain't a hundred big
show you told free Line. We got a couple of contestants.
Steam up and play next, Good morning, that's a big
(27:58):
show on the radio. Yes, I should remembered about g
Taylor did that report. But remember when you said you
found out Golfer Chai Chai Rodberg Gas.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
Yeah, said chee chee. Okay, all right, I'll like that
note and I'll be able to say.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
It very next, you and less Nessmund How many people
remember less from w k R S.
Speaker 5 (28:24):
All right then, and Sonny is Soonie?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
All right, well, let's.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
Play and everybody's head about the bad the wordy.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Word that worthy. Let's create the contestants. We got me
from Huntsville, Alabama. Jackie says, that's Mary Elizabeth. But that's me?
Is that you mean me?
Speaker 5 (28:51):
M E me? So? It is?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
M e so Jackie, it is, it's not me. Jackie said,
she wants to be called me.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Jack was over there going, I don't even know what
you're talking about. Jack ain't got no problems with the
Shanika and Toyota Corolla. Right. Well, well, let's meet Suzanne,
(29:27):
I think from Albany, Georgia. Is that you Susanna or
is that Suzanne with a banjie on your knee?
Speaker 10 (29:34):
It is Suzanny.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
You got it right.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I was trying to be a smart Allan. I think
she smart. Alec, Yeah, dog got it.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
You're sore?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
All right? Well, uh, well, Tater and Susanni will be
on one team and and me and me will be
on the yeah the other day.
Speaker 5 (30:01):
Just call me murky.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Okay, all right, glad, we're all here, ladies, welcome, welcome.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Okay, we're gonna gang up on you.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
So, uh, Susan, you relax me and em e for
the first thirty seconds? Am me? You ready?
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I hope?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
So okay, Well let's see what we can do.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Are you on a speakerphone? Okay? You might want to
pick that up because I'm gonna be hollering and you're
gonna be trying to figure out what I'm talking about. Yeah,
and you don't know what. And may I just say,
as someone said last week when I didn't do this,
somebody should have told you that you shouldn't be on speakerphone.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Last week.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I'm sorry, all right, so are we ready to go?
And then I don't know I am okay, well, let's
see what we can do then. Okay, start the clock now,
a B L T sandwich? What does the L stand
for it? Yeah? Uh huh, all right. Dracula has these
in his mouth? Is it kind of a teeth?
Speaker 4 (31:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Uh huh with a blank on top a Sunday with this.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Red fruit on top sherry.
Speaker 18 (31:14):
Yeah, uh huh, all right, do this to your shoes.
Get out and rub them blank my shoes, your shoes
with black shoe? What you rub it on there?
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Yes? Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Uh huh, good, yes, all right, four on the board.
Good work. Let's see what Susanna and Tatter can do
for their round one.
Speaker 8 (31:36):
You've got a sexy yeah, uh huh going on when
the Yeah, that's just my instincts I the ladies man
still got it?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
All right, Susanne? Are you ready a ready? Okay?
Speaker 6 (31:59):
Ready, go Peter Pan.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
He did not want to blank up?
Speaker 12 (32:05):
Why no, he didn't.
Speaker 5 (32:06):
He didn't want to He didn't want to become Yes,
thank you.
Speaker 6 (32:09):
You need to mow this.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
Your lawn is what mowed the another name for another
name for we? Yes, all right?
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (32:18):
This is a This is cheerleaders will do. This is
when they land on their legs or wide open. It's
it sounded terrible. Also it's a bowling. Yes, hey, that
dog is not mean, he's very what.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Let's see, y'all got a three on the board, so
it's a close game. Em a four, Susanna three and
this going around two? All right, emmy you ready?
Speaker 6 (32:49):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 1 (32:50):
All right? Picking up on that last one and go oh,
he's got a wonderful smile. He's very what and he nice?
He's very No your best blank? What you your b
F F? But your best what?
Speaker 9 (33:07):
H b?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah? Okay, now is add a couple of letters to it.
I'm very yes, okay, you put this on an envelope.
Put this on the omelope to mail it. Yes, rhymes
with it summer blank in a tent summer Yes, rhymes
with it blank.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Down on this all right?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Well, all ride.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
Three on the four a seven, John boy, I would
have gone with Casper the.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Fridle goes out, got it? Oh right, let me say
three on the four of seven. So Suzanne and Tayter
and miss when the buzzer stops, know all the right clues.
Four time jacker's got a wrong little buildings and be
(33:58):
back in a minute. Four will time five, will win?
Are you ready?
Speaker 5 (34:05):
I am ready all right now and go t're in
the doctor shows, you'll see them. So give me a
blank and they blank down on something?
Speaker 17 (34:14):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (34:14):
It's a No, it's a it's a prayer. Yes, time
rhymes with it. It's not. It's not soaking wet, it's
just damn. Yes, rhymes with it.
Speaker 6 (34:24):
You turn this on.
Speaker 5 (34:25):
You have one right next to your bed and has
a light bulb in it. H yeah, rhymes with it.
You might the cars will use this to jump over things. No,
so you get off on the exits.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
The opposite of pretty.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Pretty Oh oh, there's no buzzer. Well, looky look here
we have overtime, the seven to seven time. Right, fifteen
extra seconds, ladies, it's gonna go by quick, fifteen seconds
to see if we can get us a winter. Suzanne,
(35:02):
you relax me and Emmy. All right, Emmy, we got
fifteen seconds. Are you ready? Yes, start the clock now.
The opposite of pretty is ugly. Yes, uh huh. I
got a lot of money. I am blank. Yes, uh huh.
Mash this button to start all over. Mash the blank button.
(35:26):
We'd like to that's yeah. Two on the board. Emmy,
good work, and now Suzanne and Tatl for your fifteen seconds. Ready, Suzanne,
ready picking up on that last one.
Speaker 5 (35:41):
Go, power goes out and you have to blank your clock,
take your clock. Yeah, but what's what's the first part
of the word means to do it again?
Speaker 4 (35:49):
Hah?
Speaker 5 (35:50):
Sure, okay, say what oh this is not yeah clock,
but you have to do it again. So it's what
set We're gonna get on. We're gonna keep on.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
That's a good strategy though, just for tend it, you
need two letters in front of that set word. Susanne,
what Taylor was hoping you say? Yeh, reset is what
it was. But Emy wins and over time wasn't tough.
It was in Susanne down Albany. You can try again anytime.
(36:27):
Good game, Thank you, You're welcome. And m A Huntsville
you got your mount out of pickles prize back coming
for you. Victory love it?
Speaker 6 (36:39):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 10 (36:40):
And I'm a first time caller.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
Awesome.
Speaker 18 (36:49):
Oh.
Speaker 17 (36:49):
I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I just love you all.
Speaker 10 (36:51):
And I you know I've been a long time watcher,
I mean listener.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
You keep watching.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Like her?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Can we keep it? Good morning, Bige. That was on
the radio. I'm glad we wont that was a friendly Casper,
the friendly ghost would have haunted me. I was like
about officer friendly. That's another thing, was jumping in my mind.
Friendly Anyway, Good work, y'all holding camp, moving on with
our lives. Here we go. David Patterson out are Rowing
(37:22):
over Virginia says, hey, guys in school to starting for
most kids. Now, can we hear Mad Max being mad
about school buses? You sure can, David, get him up next.
(37:58):
Good morning. That's a big showing a radio. We got
a bid request for this Tuesday. Right here, David Patterson
from Rowing Over Virginia, he is going back to school.
This is called mad Mike, John Boyd Miller Yo, mad mix.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
Here, Buddy Bud, but buddy, but but buddy, but the bod.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Bud Bye n.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
Up.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
It comes from the Latin phrase shut meaning closed up,
meaning you're.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
A mouth, you idiot.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
I've been coming on here five years. Ain't she got it?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
You're mad? Aren't you let me put this.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
In the politically correct way.
Speaker 6 (38:38):
I'm differently happy.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Really, that's weird because it sounds like that.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
You'll get to do your little blissfully ignorant redneck thing again.
Speaker 11 (38:50):
Hit a minute coming here and ask for two.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Minutes every two or three weeks.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
John boy, shut up all right now?
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Or was I? Oh yeah, you know what makes me mad?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
But it seems like about everything you're doing it again.
Speaker 6 (39:03):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 17 (39:04):
No one that's better, okay, school buses, school buses.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
That's right. School buses scare me to death every time
I look up. School buses coming round the corner on
two wheels. What is the deal? What is the damn?
Her Lico's canoe rais with a bomb water to blow
if she dips below fifty. They got a governor on
(39:29):
him and it'll keep him at fifty. You don't have
to drive that speed all the time running around through
my neighborhood's flying. The more kids they let off, the
faster they go.
Speaker 6 (39:38):
That weight thing work my bus.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
And I hesitate to even bring this up, but you'll
note about ninety five percent of your school bus drivers
some three hundred pound African American woman. You don't want
to say now, I don't want to sound like Robert E.
Racis here, but on the list of your great all
time drivers, you'd be hard pressed to find under three
(40:03):
hundred pounds black water they just not. You don't see
them winning the Indy five hundred. They're qualifying it DAYTNA
and I can't figure out why they keep going into
this line of work. It ain't for their excellent driving skills.
They ain't never demonstrated.
Speaker 6 (40:19):
No aptitude.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
From the looks on most of their faces, they sure
ain't enjoyed it. That's what it is. They's so miserable.
They just in a hurry to get it over with.
I mean, I guess I see some of the hoodlums
going to school nowadays, I want to get them off
the bus cooling, whether's full or empty, fly to my neighborhood.
I mean, now, I know it's hard being black, it's
(40:42):
hard being a woman, and it's even hard being three
hundred pounds. How is it when you put them all together,
it suddenly comes up school bus driver short. They'll say,
nasscar Winston Cup champion. Man, that's it. They're all frustrated
race car drivers anytime they get behind the wheel of
a brightly colored vehicle with a number painting on the
(41:04):
side of it. Everything it's a white floor lapp of
the day total of five hundred. But let me ask you,
are you going down. You look up in your rearview mirror.
You got an eight toned vehicle bearing down on your
rear at full speed. Now, who would you rather see
behind the wheel? Rusty Wallace or Oprah? Which you know
(41:24):
what I'm saying here? You look up there, and who
would you? Jimmy Spencer or Shirley From what's happening.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
The rest of my case.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
Now, before anybody gets mad and starts calling the radio
station to complain, I ain't throwing off on black women.
Race ain't got nothing to do with it, because everybody
knowses really, women in general cannot drive. You're gonna get
your pennies in a wall. Keep in mind, this ain't
a load of peat moss they're hauling. It's our kids.
(41:55):
You know your future teaching. Well, let them lead the way.
You won't think of me, and think of me because
y'all about to scare me today. Let's driver, slow down,
be careful, smile every once in a while if you
can't quit wording John boy, Yeah, y'all have a nice
(42:41):
right here, hey.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Feature track from The Big Show. Bit barked a grumby
old man hates fake meat. You want this for you,
John Boy and billy album keyword fake meat.
Speaker 5 (42:53):
This is it.
Speaker 6 (42:56):
It is time for the grumby old man.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Flibberty flu I'm old and I hate fake meat.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
In my day, we didn't have no plant based hippie
dippy sissy fried vegan but kissing nonsense. When I was
a boy, fake meat was when your stuffed a cucumber
and your bib overalls to impress the floozies at the
square dance. Fake meat, fake meat. Everybody's selling fake meat.
(43:29):
Give it names like impossible and beyond. Well, that's perfect
because it's beyond the impossible that I'll ever have one.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Why Because I stand up to pee? That's why?
Speaker 2 (43:43):
What the hell kind of person eats fake meat? Fake people,
that's who. Fake fake hair, fake boobs, fake but fake face,
fake teeth. Fake But those poor, poor social myth fists
just had to have something to chew on while sipping
on their pansy ten dollar coffee a drinking beer some
(44:06):
pothead Dinkweed made in his mom's basement. They were feeling
left out of all the cookouts and the Barbley cues
and family reunions, so after smoking his breakfast, one of
their deep thinkers decided to grind up a bunch of
lawn clippings, add some lady hormones, and put a big
chunk of catcrap in it to make a tasteless hockeypucker
(44:27):
to put on the grill. Behold the taker bell burger.
Here's a newsflash. A cow eats grass. It's already plant
based burger. Your dumbasso dingy doo.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Look at me.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I'm a new age knit with eating sissy burgers and
growing man boobs from all the estrogen.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
Oh Hail the new age of foods. Hallelujah, Halla freaking Ulia.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
And they like it.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
They I love it, fake meat.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
All these age of a queryass jazz boast act like
this is awesome new fangled fan.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
That they just invented.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
When I was a boy, we had a crazy old
scientist that lived in the outskirts of town. Professor Rufus
Flitabeen was always tinkering around with mother nature. He crossed
a rooster with an octopus and made a coctopus a
chicken with eight drumsticks, but it didn't matter because you
couldn't catch it. He made the cobbler bush across pollination
(45:39):
of wheat, sugarcane and a peach tree that bloomed artist
up by God Peach Cobbler, but the Protestants always snuck
over the fence and stole it.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
When one day he went to dad gumfar.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
He created something called the Coctus half cow, half cactus.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Dear God in Heaven.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
It was a vile creature kind of looked like a cow,
but it were big and green and had long, pointy
quills all over its body, and when it moed it
sounded like someone was strangling wind on a jud One
of the farm hands lost an eye just trying to
milk it, and the ultimate irony, the Coctus developed a.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
Taste for human flesh.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
It started out with eating school kids that tried to
cut through the pasture, but then it got loose, and
the more people had had, the bigger it got. Pretty
soon a giant, pointy green cow matster was gobbling.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Up townsfolk like a kid eating buggers off the underside
of the kitchen table.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
The ones who didn't get it, we was shishky bopped
on the couts spines, and we all slid down the
big freak's gullet and SCRAMed in horror as we dissolved
in that bubbling gastric acid. Before long we were squatted
out of that prickly bunghole, and we spent e turning
he growing like weeds and getting mowed over and over
until the hippies made us into Hamburg empty dippity. Do
(47:02):
look at me, I'm a human snack for a hilldily
science experiment. Shout out of the monster's turn, shoot right
onto a pod for some soy boy to enjoy. Boone
appetite moron, all hail the new age of fake food.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
And we liked it.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
We liked it of libberty, flu I hate flak meat.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Dead boxes Here all your favorites from four decades and
Big Show.
Speaker 10 (47:29):
Ninety nine says he's fifteenth for nine ninety nine by
him once play manywhere.
Speaker 17 (47:32):
Shopping bliitbox online at the Bigshow dot Com Order Big
Show stuff I follow.
Speaker 13 (47:36):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one
stuff online services by Animing dot com.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
This any Big Show today, don't let that happen. Tensing up,
JOm Obill and Late Rosers podcast man Wherever you get
your podcast and make it easy. Subscribe to us with
a free iHeartRadio l whi ow he res your days,
you own tomorrow. Love you, mane it
Good Morning, Big Shows on the radio. Coming up, we
play Beating the Blonde for a Fishing Cycles prize pack,
high quality electric bikes and affordable prices. Go off road
with a Fission seven fifty X all Terrain e bike
features fat tires, adjustable suspension and a powerful seven hundred
and fifty watt motor. Register to win yours at fissioncycles
(00:23):
dot com. Of course we got to set up click
on the link at the Big Show dot Com. Good
love gets your name of the hat in minutes. First,
let's do it. Bring in a grumpy old man.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Flibbertyflu I'm old and I hate pokey man girl. In
my day, we didn't have no time wasting brain rotten fantasy,
chasing moron, fascinating nud arousing, lose a, delighting technological touch
s quitting nutsense. If we had a mind to wander
(01:01):
around capturing ugly little misshapen deformed freaks with stupid names,
we didn't need a celliphone. We did it the easy way.
We went to a family reunion.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Oh it's finally here.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
The glorious age of stupidity is upon us. Instead of
creating important stuff like flying cars and women who don't talk.
These geniuses had to use their college educated brains to
make Pokemon Go. They should have made worky Mond Go,
(01:39):
where those fat, pasty faced losers finally crawled out of
their parents' root seller to walk around looking for a
damn job and ward off type two diabetes at the
same time. I'm looking for peak at you. You should
look in the mirror and take a peek at you,
being a worthless sac of crack?
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Can you believe it?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Grown men risking life and limb to go hunting critters
that you can't even eat once you catch them. Huge
herds of morons trampling each other to catch a fat
yellow monkey cat on that damn phone which they put
the most important Pokemon someplace where it would do some good,
like about ten feet off of the edge of a cliff.
(02:27):
Pokemon Go bah, more like Pokemon Go, screw yourself. In
my day, the only Pokemon you got was when your
cell made was a Jamaican guy. No, we used to
play real games that didn't cost us nothing but our
(02:49):
human dignity, games like What's Your mom?
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Way and Swallow.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
The Road, Apple Booker, stacking and fotting in the oatmeal
and is your sister fourteen yet, but no game was
more popular and more dangerous than paint your ass red
and moon the Bull. It all started one day when
Rusty Puss Mutton set in a red paint while we
(03:19):
was painting the bond. Why he was doing it naked
is still a mystery, but there he was, buck naked
with a big red hind ind. He was walking down
to the swimming hole to wash it off when Old
Percy the Bull seed him. Percy was half crazy with
cow siphless, and it didn't help that one of his
(03:40):
horns had curled around and slowly grown into the side
of his head and threw his brain. And when he
saw Rusty's red butt, he popped a spring. Rusty was
pretty agile and managed to keep from getting skewed. But
before long we were all doing it. But we were
slow and stupid because we'd been in bread for generations,
(04:01):
and Percy gord us and stacked us like cordwood, stringing
our guts like hillbilly bungee cords, and kicking our empty
stupid grin and skulls around the field like a cousin
loving soccer ball whooped ding dang doodle poodle look at me.
I'm an ignorant hillbilly taught in a mentally challenged bull
with vedie to use my butt for target practice, slinging
(04:24):
us around by our guts like a Filipino yo yo master. Whoopee,
I'm a human shish kebob all hailed Charles Darwin, and
we liked it.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
The closest thing we had the pokey Man was when
crazy old brewster mctin nipple caught a leprechaun copping a
squat behind old Lady Friedaman's bond. The little fella's name
was Finnegan. Oh, shut your hold, and he was a pistol.
Oh Tinny let him around on a leaf looking for
his pot of gold. We all told him he was
(05:03):
full of the hooey, that it was just a knobby
little munchkin with lucile Ball's hand, but he swore to
all that was holy that it was a leprechaun, And
sure enough, two days later that little guma took him
straight to that pot of gold. And once Titty had
the gold, he didn't need Finnegan no more and turned
him loose. But it seemed Finnegan wasn't too keen about
(05:25):
giving his golden nest egg to some half with hay seed,
and took after.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Him with a shelley.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Tiny picked up an axe and cleaned that little redheaded
maniac cleaning too, But those two halves turned into two leprechauns.
Titty kept chopping and the leprechauns kept him multiplying. Titty
was out numbered, and before long they tore him to pieces,
totally touling as they did it. Fearing retribution for their massacre,
(05:53):
three hundred bloodthirsty leprechauns roared the countryside, rendering us all
limb from limb feast and on our entrails and our
bloodlines when extinct, and all that was left of us
to be remembered were tightly coiled piles of leprechaun duty. Yahoo, Wow,
you hoo, howdy, look at me. I'm a gold crazy
leprechaun murderer, knit wit, setting up everyone to be a
(06:17):
sord off cannibal buffet, going to my eternal reward through
the colon of a mythological midget, laid to rest next
to a pile of poodle poop. Glory, Hallelujah, What a
wonderful world A buffalo flopping, I hate POKEMONO.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Glad to grumpy old man wasn't in Hawaii this weekend?
All right, well, let's play Beat the Blonde. Y'all. Come
on over that Vision Cycles Prize Pack one eight hundred
Big Show. You told free line you're the contestant, and
play next. Good morning, there's a big show on the
(07:17):
radio running through your Tuesday, August twentieth. Today's feature track
from the Big Show bit box. The Grumpy old Man
hates fake meat? You go all on Pokemon. How's me
feel about fake meat? Can I guess neck out the
bit box?
Speaker 4 (07:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:35):
One of the key words fake meat there right down.
That's a real life beating the blondins me not contestant
for you. Think about it. Carrie from Standing Rock, Alabama,
Good morning, Carrie, Good morning, job boy, Hey my no nobody, Hey,
(07:58):
all right here, we gonna ask Tater some questions. You
agree or disagree, get two bells before two buzzers, and
you get the big old prize back. Carry all right,
All right, well, let's start around ten pm where Tater
starts to shine on north. Who is more likely to
(08:23):
be in bed by ten pm? The average American man
or woman.
Speaker 5 (08:30):
Whichever is first is do it wrong? Their average the
average American woman.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
It's the woman carry agree or disagree?
Speaker 6 (08:44):
Man, I know at my house is the woman.
Speaker 7 (08:47):
So I will have to agree with Taylor. So that
was a day to noon.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
It is the American woman. I'm adaking Mormon right now. Okay,
one more, mail't care and you go get the prize back?
Worn out? All right?
Speaker 4 (09:12):
There we go, here we go.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
According to doctors, can spending the night in a sleeping
bag do anything good for you?
Speaker 5 (09:23):
Well, park ranger brought me a new car.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
You tell me.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Your picnic basket. No sleeping spending the night in a
sleeping bag cannot do anything good for you.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
You know what? I have got time for that man.
Speaker 6 (09:44):
She's right, she's got I'm gonna have to agree with.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Green Weather, hon and ya no, yes, well think about it.
According to uh Houston, Texas Hospital study, sore muscles are
effectively eased by the uniform heat provided by the sleeping bag.
Speaker 5 (10:10):
Yeah, but what about that hard ground.
Speaker 8 (10:13):
This study funded by a sleeping bag manufactory.
Speaker 4 (10:19):
Well, here we go.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
We're gonna win it or lose it right here. And
we're talking statistically. Do men who kiss their partner goodbye.
As they go to work, tend to make more money.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Define good work.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Out the door.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
You get.
Speaker 9 (10:44):
More money.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
When there's a MANswers here going here. Just more money.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
Yes, statatistically, yes, yes they do. Statistically they tend to
make more money.
Speaker 7 (11:00):
Oh man, golly, all right, man, I agree with her
every time.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
I'm gonna disagree this sound Why you won't do that?
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yes, you're round there. Okay, well, okay, go kiss your wife.
Good night, morsan goes man.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
And give me a sleeping bag.
Speaker 10 (11:28):
All right, man, thank y'all.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Anyway, bro, thank y'all with your body.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Thank you all.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Let's jump out, catch you up on your news. Give
us time.
Speaker 8 (11:43):
That does up a time.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Captas on Tunesday Morning Life. Only on the side.
Speaker 11 (12:17):
This is the award winning Joh Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
The clock strikes one, Spirit, Spirit, are you there? Jacob
Marley told me of your coming, be merciful kind Spirit.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
I beg of the nothing I knew it? Spirit, humbu? No, yes,
only at one o'clock. Are they just getting started? Are
(13:06):
you one of the spirits who's coming was foretold to me?
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
No, I gave them the night off. You know what
they say, who's company and five is a orgy.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I suppose I can get them back if that sort
of thing tickles your trigger.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
But Jacob Marley told me Nicko Marley.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Woo, he's too kinky for me. Baby, All them change
makes it hard to change positions. I don't like being
tied to one spot. But for you, I might make
an exception.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
Who heavens who oh what are you?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I'm the ghost of about to get my Christmas freak on? Baby,
I'm got a aunt your dream. Oh I hear you're
pretty good at pinching penny. How about trying that grip
out on the iron boot?
Speaker 9 (14:03):
If it's all the same to you, right, prefer the
three spirits who were supposed to come and teach me
to believe in Christmas.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I got your free spirits right here, baby, Vodka, gin
and FuMO. Drink enough of this and you're believing the
Easter Bunny and the two things, and I'll Schwazenagger for president.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I see this is some sort of a cheap parlor trick.
This has the stink of Bob Cratchit all over it.
He puts you up to this didn't he That ain't Bob.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Cratcher stinking up the joint. I've been to two other
parties tonight. Bob Cratcher ain't got time to fool with you, baby.
He already got hisself a hobby. Just look at all them, younger.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Eat a freak.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
You can line a few things from him.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
You're not implying that we should block baby.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I brought my own missile toe, half a gallon of pepper,
mitmesage ail, and a wagon. I'm fixing the rupt you
the right way. Lessen you one of them sugar plum ferries.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Please, I beseech you leave me in peace. Why do
you trouble me?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Woo? I like all you cheap old Christmas men. God,
I snug with the cash, but loose with the trash.
Donald Trump, Lei Cocher, how are you? Robert d Rayford
All Robert Dean rath Hey' the only other white man
that would make me mark little spirits.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I've learned by lesson I would keep Christmas in my heart.
Just spare me further, tor. Men can't take the suspense
no longer.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
All right, baby, here you are Christmas present. I just
don't wrap it for you. I feel so bound. Please,
if you go, I'll screen the wood.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
I ain't promised, I hope. So it's been a while.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Come get your little oh oh oh, I'm gonna work
you like a rip on.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
Mary Grifflin, Baby, you're on.
Speaker 11 (16:11):
My hair, Shawn Boy and Billy. Good morning radio, done right.
Speaker 4 (16:49):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
There's a big sea on the radio. Run into your
Tuesday Tuesay already, all right, turned my microphone off. Action.
Speaker 12 (17:03):
Hello friends, your old pal burn Burn here with another
falange frightening entry of John, Bully and Billy playhouse today's
episode Animal Control. As our story opens, a distraught suburban
housewife waits for the animal control officer.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
You over here, Are you the animal guy?
Speaker 12 (17:23):
Yes, ma'am, guy Animal, the animal guide. I make your
credits skinner. Now I might to understand. You have a
full grown gorilla in your mango tree. That's right.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
Look look there he is there he is.
Speaker 12 (17:34):
Oh yeah, that's a gorilla, all right, and he is
a biggin.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
So is this something you think you can handle?
Speaker 12 (17:41):
Yes, ma'am, got everything I need.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
So all you've got is a ladder like an eight
foot metal pole, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun
and a row wiler, Yes, ma'am. How's that gonna work?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Will, ma'am?
Speaker 12 (17:53):
The procedure is, first, I strategically placed the ladder in
a safe, yet accessible site on the mango tree. Next,
shimmy up the aforementioned ladder with this pole. When the
gorilla isn't looking, I'll take this pole and stick him
in what is referred to in the business as his poop. Shoot.
This will startle the gorilla, causing him to fall, and
in a split second, the rot wiler will clamp jaws
(18:15):
down on his gorilla McNuggets. Oh dear, pretty much the
gorilla's reaction. Now at that time, I shimmy down the ladder,
and while the gorilla is disoriented, I slap on the
cuffs and hustle him into the cage in the back
of the truck.
Speaker 5 (18:27):
What about the shotgun, oh.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Ma'am, that is for you.
Speaker 12 (18:30):
What if, by chance the gorilla knocks me out of
the tree, shoot the dogs.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
And how.
Speaker 12 (18:43):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse. To
distract the gorilla, could you possibly undo those top two buttons?
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Stop?
Speaker 12 (18:52):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the crusty old
rotwiler ball chomping trainers say.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Good morning.
Speaker 12 (19:03):
The big shows on the radio hangout, all right, listen
to you, mog.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
It's time to button your yaps.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Say, I'm trying to listen to these two clowns, John
Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 12 (19:12):
Yeah, the big Show. It's big, say bigger than big.
It's enormous. Hey he's adorable.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Been
celebrating National Radio Day today. The thing I confiscated this
film from my eighth grade class, but spent my twig
towards this wonderful profession with the lights. Turn it off?
Speaker 6 (20:09):
All right, you ready? All right?
Speaker 13 (20:11):
We got this educational film for local eighth grade class
about radio. It's my send it to us. Thought it
might be interested. So I got the projector set up here.
Let's watch and learn, maybe learn something about our business
that we're in here, and return it there.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Oh yeah, it's like I remember it.
Speaker 14 (20:28):
Let's go and engine plimited film the radio station. Long
before you get up for school, people at the radio
station are already busy.
Speaker 15 (20:47):
Starting their debbie, even before the sun comes out the morning.
This jockey has already done many interesting themes. Oh look,
smoked cigarettes. Peter is the reporter.
Speaker 14 (21:11):
The reporter does news from a different room because the
disc jockey smells like what he drank the night before.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
And the interesting people who work here. This is the
sales staff.
Speaker 16 (21:24):
Sometimes when they're not drinking, they make deals with advertisers.
They trade radio airtime for free things like dinner, vacations, bookers,
and free drinks.
Speaker 6 (21:40):
This is the programming director. He's silly, isn't he.
Speaker 15 (21:47):
Monke. He's acting like he knows what he's doing. This
disc jockey works it in the right. He's talking through
a young girl on the phone. He's voting down his tent. Hey,
it's awfully late at night for the morning disc jockey
(22:07):
to be here. Those are called resume maties. Hey, wait
a minute, there's his girlfriend. Hey she's the general manager's wife.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh no, oh my goodness.
Speaker 17 (22:20):
On the film brough close every you're back up.
Speaker 6 (22:22):
You get to a little bit of.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Good morning, Got the big show on the radio. Got
wordy word coming up for Mount Olive, Pickles, Prize Bay
and Clues, Mount Olive hat T shirt and the three
back of pickle Juicers. Mount alive Probably sports. A National
Wheelchair Basketball Association Team USA goes for the gold of
the Paralympic Games in Paris beginning in August twenty eighth
gold Team USA.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
And now the wonder my.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
World of sports, the time Man Hay, Mary's hands.
Speaker 17 (22:49):
On, Turby handsome all the world of sports. Here's how
you never want to see you shorts. He's got spooks on, who's.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Got a contract?
Speaker 17 (22:57):
Who's up the dude as who might be? The show
presents streets Rough.
Speaker 7 (23:03):
Good morning, Terry, Hey buddy, how you doing?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Just awesome? Man, be looking forward to your time with us.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Now.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
In these weekly reports, we heard about some of your
coaching and management career. Love in your World a Sports.
We had in touch much on being a front office
executive where you had to promote games and attendance, and
he hit on that little bit for us.
Speaker 7 (23:26):
I was right out of coaching. I mean I didn't
know anything about if instinct.
Speaker 10 (23:32):
You've got to identify your office or demographic and all
that stuff. And I had to sell tickets. I mean
that's what I had to do for the first three
years of my career. And we got down to Atlanta.
We had outdoor soccer obviously, but indoor soccer was a
complete different demographic. Outdoor were parents with kids that are playing,
(23:54):
and so it's a different thing. And TBS at that
time had overnight stuff that was like remember the Pope
heal hocket fisherman to ensue knife and do you remember
a guy bout him a Slim Whitman. Oh yeah, okay,
I'm calling you all right, Slim Slim becomes a cult favorite.
Speaker 7 (24:15):
Okay, we pick up on that.
Speaker 10 (24:18):
So I get a hold of Swim and I hire
him for twenty five dollars and two first class airplane
tickets from Jacksonville to Atlanta. Okay, so he shows up
in a motorhome because of course he casts the tickets
in for money with his son Byron, and we have
a big promotion and Georgia Tech people really really pick
(24:41):
up on it, and we sell the joint out. After
the game, we have a Slim Whitmand concert and it
was really something. But then on Tuesday, I get a
call from the OMNI personnel. He's still there in his
motor home, so we had to on there and tell
him to go back to Florida. And then the other
(25:04):
thing that we ran up against, which is a real conflict.
Remember the TV show Dallas. Oh yeah, well you know
in March twenty first, nineteen eighty, they had the who
shot Jr? Right, and our game was right up against that.
Speaker 7 (25:18):
So what are you gonna do? I mean, you feel
sorry for yourself? You go out. We got Delta to
give us four trips to Jamaica.
Speaker 10 (25:25):
And then when you came in with your ticket, they
handed you a small card and you wrote on that
card who you thought killed Jr. Then they had boxes
over there you could drop yours in a slot in
the box. During the game is when the show was on.
So after the game we put big screens out and
we showed it, and that after we showed it.
Speaker 7 (25:44):
We went over to who it was. It was Kristin
Shephard Mary Crosby and pulled that out and pull out two.
Speaker 10 (25:51):
Winners, and each winner got four trips to our four
things to go to Jamaica, four knights in Jamaica for
eight a total obate.
Speaker 7 (26:01):
So that's kind of how we sold that out. That's
how we dealt with it. You've got to make you know,
you've got to make limiting that lemons right.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
That's awesome, man, so awesome and slim women, a Paloma blanca.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
He was.
Speaker 7 (26:18):
He was so goofy. He was good.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I got a good part motor home.
Speaker 7 (26:24):
Here me a love song. Was the name of that?
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Oh yeah, man, awesome one one I wanted to ask
you about. We didn't get it last week. Chee chee.
Rodriguez passed away at age eighty eight. Was Was he
planning your time at the PGA?
Speaker 9 (26:44):
He was?
Speaker 7 (26:44):
And he was a real showman. I love.
Speaker 10 (26:47):
CBS came to me and said how much they liked it.
So I went to him and told him to keep
doing this. You know, he pull uck the imaginary swords.
Speaker 18 (26:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (26:57):
I got to know him later on, and he's a
real good man. And he grew up poor, but he
really turned out to be a terrific guy and a
great golf.
Speaker 6 (27:06):
Good to hear.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
A good deal. Give me a little sneak peek about
next week, something about the Golden Boy.
Speaker 7 (27:12):
That would be Paul Horning.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
All right, good deal.
Speaker 7 (27:15):
We have a Paul Horning story that I think you'll probably.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Enjoy, a good deal, Terrence, Thank you so much, buddy.
I have a great rest of your week. Catch up
with you, okay, man, see you guys all right then,
let's play our wordy word one. Ain't a hundred big
show you told free Line. We got a couple of contestants.
Steam up and play next, Good morning, that's a big
(27:58):
show on the radio. Yes, I should remembered about g
Taylor did that report. But remember when you said you
found out Golfer Chai Chai Rodberg Gas.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
Yeah, said chee chee. Okay, all right, I'll like that
note and I'll be able to say.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
It very next, you and less Nessmund How many people
remember less from w k R S.
Speaker 5 (28:24):
All right then, and Sonny is Soonie?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
All right, well, let's.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
Play and everybody's head about the bad the wordy.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Word that worthy. Let's create the contestants. We got me
from Huntsville, Alabama. Jackie says, that's Mary Elizabeth. But that's me?
Is that you mean me?
Speaker 5 (28:51):
M E me? So? It is?
Speaker 1 (28:55):
M e so Jackie, it is, it's not me. Jackie said,
she wants to be called me.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Jack was over there going, I don't even know what
you're talking about. Jack ain't got no problems with the
Shanika and Toyota Corolla. Right. Well, well, let's meet Suzanne,
(29:27):
I think from Albany, Georgia. Is that you Susanna or
is that Suzanne with a banjie on your knee?
Speaker 10 (29:34):
It is Suzanny.
Speaker 4 (29:36):
You got it right.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I was trying to be a smart Allan. I think
she smart. Alec, Yeah, dog got it.
Speaker 5 (29:49):
You're sore?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
All right? Well, uh, well, Tater and Susanni will be
on one team and and me and me will be
on the yeah the other day.
Speaker 5 (30:01):
Just call me murky.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Okay, all right, glad, we're all here, ladies, welcome, welcome.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Okay, we're gonna gang up on you.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
So, uh, Susan, you relax me and em e for
the first thirty seconds? Am me? You ready?
Speaker 3 (30:18):
I hope?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
So okay, Well let's see what we can do.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Now.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Are you on a speakerphone? Okay? You might want to
pick that up because I'm gonna be hollering and you're
gonna be trying to figure out what I'm talking about. Yeah,
and you don't know what. And may I just say,
as someone said last week when I didn't do this,
somebody should have told you that you shouldn't be on speakerphone.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Last week.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
I'm sorry, all right, so are we ready to go?
And then I don't know I am okay, well, let's
see what we can do then. Okay, start the clock now,
a B L T sandwich? What does the L stand
for it? Yeah? Uh huh, all right. Dracula has these
in his mouth? Is it kind of a teeth?
Speaker 4 (31:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Uh huh with a blank on top a Sunday with this.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
Red fruit on top sherry.
Speaker 18 (31:14):
Yeah, uh huh, all right, do this to your shoes.
Get out and rub them blank my shoes, your shoes
with black shoe? What you rub it on there?
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Yes? Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Uh huh, good, yes, all right, four on the board.
Good work. Let's see what Susanna and Tatter can do
for their round one.
Speaker 8 (31:36):
You've got a sexy yeah, uh huh going on when
the Yeah, that's just my instincts I the ladies man
still got it?
Speaker 1 (31:52):
All right, Susanne? Are you ready a ready? Okay?
Speaker 6 (31:59):
Ready, go Peter Pan.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
He did not want to blank up?
Speaker 12 (32:05):
Why no, he didn't.
Speaker 5 (32:06):
He didn't want to He didn't want to become Yes,
thank you.
Speaker 6 (32:09):
You need to mow this.
Speaker 5 (32:10):
Your lawn is what mowed the another name for another
name for we? Yes, all right?
Speaker 4 (32:18):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (32:18):
This is a This is cheerleaders will do. This is
when they land on their legs or wide open. It's
it sounded terrible. Also it's a bowling. Yes, hey, that
dog is not mean, he's very what.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Let's see, y'all got a three on the board, so
it's a close game. Em a four, Susanna three and
this going around two? All right, emmy you ready?
Speaker 6 (32:49):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 1 (32:50):
All right? Picking up on that last one and go oh,
he's got a wonderful smile. He's very what and he nice?
He's very No your best blank? What you your b
F F? But your best what?
Speaker 9 (33:07):
H b?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Yeah? Okay, now is add a couple of letters to it.
I'm very yes, okay, you put this on an envelope.
Put this on the omelope to mail it. Yes, rhymes
with it summer blank in a tent summer Yes, rhymes
with it blank.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Down on this all right?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
Well, all ride.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
Three on the four a seven, John boy, I would
have gone with Casper the.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Fridle goes out, got it? Oh right, let me say
three on the four of seven. So Suzanne and Tayter
and miss when the buzzer stops, know all the right clues.
Four time jacker's got a wrong little buildings and be
(33:58):
back in a minute. Four will time five, will win?
Are you ready?
Speaker 5 (34:05):
I am ready all right now and go t're in
the doctor shows, you'll see them. So give me a
blank and they blank down on something?
Speaker 17 (34:14):
What is it?
Speaker 5 (34:14):
It's a No, it's a it's a prayer. Yes, time
rhymes with it. It's not. It's not soaking wet, it's
just damn. Yes, rhymes with it.
Speaker 6 (34:24):
You turn this on.
Speaker 5 (34:25):
You have one right next to your bed and has
a light bulb in it. H yeah, rhymes with it.
You might the cars will use this to jump over things. No,
so you get off on the exits.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (34:38):
The opposite of pretty.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
Pretty Oh oh, there's no buzzer. Well, looky look here
we have overtime, the seven to seven time. Right, fifteen
extra seconds, ladies, it's gonna go by quick, fifteen seconds
to see if we can get us a winter. Suzanne,
(35:02):
you relax me and Emmy. All right, Emmy, we got
fifteen seconds. Are you ready? Yes, start the clock now.
The opposite of pretty is ugly. Yes, uh huh. I
got a lot of money. I am blank. Yes, uh huh.
Mash this button to start all over. Mash the blank button.
(35:26):
We'd like to that's yeah. Two on the board. Emmy,
good work, and now Suzanne and Tatl for your fifteen seconds. Ready, Suzanne,
ready picking up on that last one.
Speaker 5 (35:41):
Go, power goes out and you have to blank your clock,
take your clock. Yeah, but what's what's the first part
of the word means to do it again?
Speaker 4 (35:49):
Hah?
Speaker 5 (35:50):
Sure, okay, say what oh this is not yeah clock,
but you have to do it again. So it's what
set We're gonna get on. We're gonna keep on.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
That's a good strategy though, just for tend it, you
need two letters in front of that set word. Susanne,
what Taylor was hoping you say? Yeh, reset is what
it was. But Emy wins and over time wasn't tough.
It was in Susanne down Albany. You can try again anytime.
(36:27):
Good game, Thank you, You're welcome. And m A Huntsville
you got your mount out of pickles prize back coming
for you. Victory love it?
Speaker 6 (36:39):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 10 (36:40):
And I'm a first time caller.
Speaker 7 (36:45):
Awesome.
Speaker 18 (36:49):
Oh.
Speaker 17 (36:49):
I love you guys.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
I just love you all.
Speaker 10 (36:51):
And I you know I've been a long time watcher,
I mean listener.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
You keep watching.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
Like her?
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Can we keep it? Good morning, Bige. That was on
the radio. I'm glad we wont that was a friendly Casper,
the friendly ghost would have haunted me. I was like
about officer friendly. That's another thing, was jumping in my mind.
Friendly Anyway, Good work, y'all holding camp, moving on with
our lives. Here we go. David Patterson out are Rowing
(37:22):
over Virginia says, hey, guys in school to starting for
most kids. Now, can we hear Mad Max being mad
about school buses? You sure can, David, get him up next.
(37:58):
Good morning. That's a big showing a radio. We got
a bid request for this Tuesday. Right here, David Patterson
from Rowing Over Virginia, he is going back to school.
This is called mad Mike, John Boyd Miller Yo, mad mix.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
Here, Buddy Bud, but buddy, but but buddy, but the bod.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Bud Bye n.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
Up.
Speaker 4 (38:22):
It comes from the Latin phrase shut meaning closed up,
meaning you're.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
A mouth, you idiot.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
I've been coming on here five years. Ain't she got it?
Speaker 1 (38:33):
You're mad? Aren't you let me put this.
Speaker 4 (38:36):
In the politically correct way.
Speaker 6 (38:38):
I'm differently happy.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
Really, that's weird because it sounds like that.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
You'll get to do your little blissfully ignorant redneck thing again.
Speaker 11 (38:50):
Hit a minute coming here and ask for two.
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Minutes every two or three weeks.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
John boy, shut up all right now?
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Or was I? Oh yeah, you know what makes me mad?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
But it seems like about everything you're doing it again.
Speaker 6 (39:03):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 17 (39:04):
No one that's better, okay, school buses, school buses.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
That's right. School buses scare me to death every time
I look up. School buses coming round the corner on
two wheels. What is the deal? What is the damn?
Her Lico's canoe rais with a bomb water to blow
if she dips below fifty. They got a governor on
(39:29):
him and it'll keep him at fifty. You don't have
to drive that speed all the time running around through
my neighborhood's flying. The more kids they let off, the
faster they go.
Speaker 6 (39:38):
That weight thing work my bus.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
And I hesitate to even bring this up, but you'll
note about ninety five percent of your school bus drivers
some three hundred pound African American woman. You don't want
to say now, I don't want to sound like Robert E.
Racis here, but on the list of your great all
time drivers, you'd be hard pressed to find under three
(40:03):
hundred pounds black water they just not. You don't see
them winning the Indy five hundred. They're qualifying it DAYTNA
and I can't figure out why they keep going into
this line of work. It ain't for their excellent driving skills.
They ain't never demonstrated.
Speaker 6 (40:19):
No aptitude.
Speaker 4 (40:20):
From the looks on most of their faces, they sure
ain't enjoyed it. That's what it is. They's so miserable.
They just in a hurry to get it over with.
I mean, I guess I see some of the hoodlums
going to school nowadays, I want to get them off
the bus cooling, whether's full or empty, fly to my neighborhood.
I mean, now, I know it's hard being black, it's
(40:42):
hard being a woman, and it's even hard being three
hundred pounds. How is it when you put them all together,
it suddenly comes up school bus driver short. They'll say,
nasscar Winston Cup champion. Man, that's it. They're all frustrated
race car drivers anytime they get behind the wheel of
a brightly colored vehicle with a number painting on the
(41:04):
side of it. Everything it's a white floor lapp of
the day total of five hundred. But let me ask you,
are you going down. You look up in your rearview mirror.
You got an eight toned vehicle bearing down on your
rear at full speed. Now, who would you rather see
behind the wheel? Rusty Wallace or Oprah? Which you know
(41:24):
what I'm saying here? You look up there, and who
would you? Jimmy Spencer or Shirley From what's happening.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
The rest of my case.
Speaker 4 (41:33):
Now, before anybody gets mad and starts calling the radio
station to complain, I ain't throwing off on black women.
Race ain't got nothing to do with it, because everybody
knowses really, women in general cannot drive. You're gonna get
your pennies in a wall. Keep in mind, this ain't
a load of peat moss they're hauling. It's our kids.
(41:55):
You know your future teaching. Well, let them lead the way.
You won't think of me, and think of me because
y'all about to scare me today. Let's driver, slow down,
be careful, smile every once in a while if you
can't quit wording John boy, Yeah, y'all have a nice
(42:41):
right here, hey.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Feature track from The Big Show. Bit barked a grumby
old man hates fake meat. You want this for you,
John Boy and billy album keyword fake meat.
Speaker 5 (42:53):
This is it.
Speaker 6 (42:56):
It is time for the grumby old man.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Flibberty flu I'm old and I hate fake meat.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
In my day, we didn't have no plant based hippie
dippy sissy fried vegan but kissing nonsense. When I was
a boy, fake meat was when your stuffed a cucumber
and your bib overalls to impress the floozies at the
square dance. Fake meat, fake meat. Everybody's selling fake meat.
(43:29):
Give it names like impossible and beyond. Well, that's perfect
because it's beyond the impossible that I'll ever have one.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Why Because I stand up to pee? That's why?
Speaker 2 (43:43):
What the hell kind of person eats fake meat? Fake people,
that's who. Fake fake hair, fake boobs, fake but fake face,
fake teeth. Fake But those poor, poor social myth fists
just had to have something to chew on while sipping
on their pansy ten dollar coffee a drinking beer some
(44:06):
pothead Dinkweed made in his mom's basement. They were feeling
left out of all the cookouts and the Barbley cues
and family reunions, so after smoking his breakfast, one of
their deep thinkers decided to grind up a bunch of
lawn clippings, add some lady hormones, and put a big
chunk of catcrap in it to make a tasteless hockeypucker
(44:27):
to put on the grill. Behold the taker bell burger.
Here's a newsflash. A cow eats grass. It's already plant
based burger. Your dumbasso dingy doo.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Look at me.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I'm a new age knit with eating sissy burgers and
growing man boobs from all the estrogen.
Speaker 3 (44:50):
Oh Hail the new age of foods. Hallelujah, Halla freaking Ulia.
Speaker 4 (44:57):
And they like it.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
They I love it, fake meat.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
All these age of a queryass jazz boast act like
this is awesome new fangled fan.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
That they just invented.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
When I was a boy, we had a crazy old
scientist that lived in the outskirts of town. Professor Rufus
Flitabeen was always tinkering around with mother nature. He crossed
a rooster with an octopus and made a coctopus a
chicken with eight drumsticks, but it didn't matter because you
couldn't catch it. He made the cobbler bush across pollination
(45:39):
of wheat, sugarcane and a peach tree that bloomed artist
up by God Peach Cobbler, but the Protestants always snuck
over the fence and stole it.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
When one day he went to dad gumfar.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
He created something called the Coctus half cow, half cactus.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Dear God in Heaven.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
It was a vile creature kind of looked like a cow,
but it were big and green and had long, pointy
quills all over its body, and when it moed it
sounded like someone was strangling wind on a jud One
of the farm hands lost an eye just trying to
milk it, and the ultimate irony, the Coctus developed a.
Speaker 3 (46:20):
Taste for human flesh.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
It started out with eating school kids that tried to
cut through the pasture, but then it got loose, and
the more people had had, the bigger it got. Pretty
soon a giant, pointy green cow matster was gobbling.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
Up townsfolk like a kid eating buggers off the underside
of the kitchen table.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
The ones who didn't get it, we was shishky bopped
on the couts spines, and we all slid down the
big freak's gullet and SCRAMed in horror as we dissolved
in that bubbling gastric acid. Before long we were squatted
out of that prickly bunghole, and we spent e turning
he growing like weeds and getting mowed over and over
until the hippies made us into Hamburg empty dippity. Do
(47:02):
look at me, I'm a human snack for a hilldily
science experiment. Shout out of the monster's turn, shoot right
onto a pod for some soy boy to enjoy. Boone
appetite moron, all hail the new age of fake food.
Speaker 4 (47:17):
And we liked it.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
We liked it of libberty, flu I hate flak meat.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Dead boxes Here all your favorites from four decades and
Big Show.
Speaker 10 (47:29):
Ninety nine says he's fifteenth for nine ninety nine by
him once play manywhere.
Speaker 17 (47:32):
Shopping bliitbox online at the Bigshow dot Com Order Big
Show stuff I follow.
Speaker 13 (47:36):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one
stuff online services by Animing dot com.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
This any Big Show today, don't let that happen. Tensing up,
JOm Obill and Late Rosers podcast man Wherever you get
your podcast and make it easy. Subscribe to us with
a free iHeartRadio l whi ow he res your days,
you own tomorrow. Love you, mane it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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