December 30, 2025 • 39 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we review a visit from Pinkard & Bowden for their song, “Bad Big John”.. - We’ll run down a collection of Dumb Crook New.. - Randy laments on not getting an Astronaut job at NASA.. - Oliver comes up with a list that could have been useful last week - it’s “Bad Gifts for Women”.. - We’ll hop into the Time Capsule for James Gregory on Tornados.. - Jeff Pillars shares some memories of Actor/Comedian Jim Varney.. - Mad Max is up by request.. - and we look into an eBay listing for Beanie Babies…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Good morning is a big syon the radio, John Bob
Ben This Maranday Jaggie Micey mis standard touch. Thanks Oldpira
John for sending in some famous marketing screw ups. Heard
some of these, but some of them are new to me.
Sire all right. Cores put its slogan turn it Loose
into Spanish, where it was read as suffer from diarrhea
(00:32):
too good. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer electro Lucks used the following
in an American campaign, Nothing sucks like an electro lux
that's got to catch you. Clai Al introduced the mist
stick a curling iron into Germany, only to find out
that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people
(00:56):
had to use for the manure stick like that. When
gerberst artist selling baby food in Africa, they used the
same packaging as in the US, with a beautiful Caucasian
baby on the label. We all know the Gerber baby.
Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures
on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
(01:17):
That's why baby oil has coldgate introduced to toothpaste in
France called Q, the name of a Notorious Porno magazine.
An American t shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for
the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of
(01:38):
I saw the Pope El Papa, the shirts read I
saw the Potato, Love Papa the potato. Pepsi's Pepsi slogan
come alive with a Pepsi generation translated into Pepsi brings
your ancestors back from the grave. In Chinese Frank Produce
(02:01):
Chicken slogan, it takes a strong man to make a
tender chicken. It was translated into Spanish as it takes
an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate all about.
The Coca Cola name in China was first read as
kyo ki la, meaning bite the wax tadpole. Coke then
(02:25):
researched forty thousand characters to find a phonetic equivalent, co khali.
It translated into happiness in the mouth. All right, so
that was a lot better than what they had. And finally,
when Parker Penn marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its
ads were supposed to have read it won't leak in
your pocket and embarrass you. Instead, the company thought the
(02:49):
word embarizar to impregnate meant to embarrass, so the ad
read it won't leak in your pocket and make you
pregnant famous screw up. Good morning everybody, Big Show's on
the radio. By doing all, I get this way off
(03:10):
in the I'm playing with my microphone that's rubber band
around it. Amusing myself. How about that? Than you? Alright, y'all,
that's going jumping us Coln Event's quizies. This way for
you to join the winners. Take see when a John
Boyn Billy executive dress watching Alvadable at the Big Show
dot Com. Alright one eight hundred Big Show. You're toe
(03:30):
free line across America, be calling on Take see and
win right now. Good Juesday morning, everybody to make show
(04:00):
us on the radio. Our video of the day Gasoline
bonfire goes awesome. Hey girls, you quiz Hello, we got
(04:21):
fuzz from Harlan Kentucky. Good morning for you fuzz. That's
when I got a fuzz down there at Booger Branch too.
Heard I got a feeling you might get along with
my fuzz.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I get along with anybody.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Hey, you fuzz work Harlan, I man the hard parts
over you listening to Bill and win this prize package.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Well, fuzz.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Your chance.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
The Hot Internet. The hot Internet rumor of the week
is did Sarah Palin get a boob job? Several celebrity
websites are comparing pictures of Palin on the campaign trail
in two thousand and eight with a set of recent
shots taken when she wore a clingy white top at
the Belmont Stag's horse Race. Some are suggesting that the
(05:21):
girls look a little peckier than they used to. Pelan
denied the rumor. She says the closest she's ever come
to a boob job was a using duct tape during
a beauty pageant, b wearing a push up bra for
a photo shoot, or c agreeing to be John McCain's
running back.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
You told us it was cod congratulations, fuzzbo.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
House man. I got wish my lovely wife a happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Well, let's should get you right out of there.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Huh hey, I hope it does, because I forgot it
didn't get her nothing.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Oh God, happy birthday, my futiful wife. Thank you, John boy,
good luck with that fuzz Hey give shout out my kids?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Uh Katie, Mike Tuckter. Uh huh and uh old.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Randy walters out there with COPD family. He sure does
the lost for worsh Right, all right, well fuzz I'm
gonna give you back to Jackie. Oh thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
But one other person I'd like to talk.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
To you on the phono.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Mothers to be John Boy. Well, well yeah, I want bye,
I got stuff, I got news.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
Thank y'all.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Good work.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
He see you rock by fuz like you have.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 7 (07:33):
Oh you know, hurricanes don't bother me a lot. The
one kind of world I'm afraid of is tornados.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Is that right?
Speaker 7 (07:38):
Oh yeah, I'm in Tornado country there in Georgia. I
came to this conclusion watching television news most of my life,
and that is a tornado has never touched an intelligent
man's trailer. Can't find the talk too of the news.
Well you just think about this, Randy. I'm serious. I
(08:02):
don't care whether you're twenty one years of age or
eighty one. I don't care how long you've been on
this earth. I will bet you any amount of money
that in your entire lifetime you have never seen on
the evening news a tordinative victim from a trailer park
in a three piece suit a Martin grab shirt, going, Yes,
this was rather devastating. A tree fell on the lexus.
(08:29):
Quite a bit of in our hot tub. I believe
with all my heart. Now, I know people think this
is just a comedy routine, but I believe with all
my heart that when a tordinator hits the news director
at the local TV station, he tells his reporter get
out to the trailer park and interview a dumbass.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And try to find one who's married to a fat woman.
Speaker 7 (08:58):
Now here's the couple they always interview Stanley where their
trailer used to be. The husband's always real frail. He's
like one hundred and twelve pounds one hundred and eight
without the butt buckle. Wear our little John deer cap
got a tack too, usually with something misspelled. You know,
(09:22):
got a tire gauge in his pocket, that's in case
the trailer don't see level standing next to his wife, Dad.
His wife weighs four hundred wearing those tight tight polyestra pants.
I mean, why did they wear that? John boy?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Don't don't they don't how that looks.
Speaker 7 (09:42):
I mean, I know they're fat, by hell, they're not blind. Yeah,
i'd a four hundred pound woman put on tight polyestra pants,
then look in the mirror and go all right, it
seems like she's always wearing a beeper. I need to
tell you all something about fat people and beepers that
you're worth the old kind of beeper, the one that
(10:04):
made a noise. They got these moderate the high tech was.
Now they don't make a noise that simply vibrates. Will
trust me on this. If you weigh four hundred pounds,
you're missing calls. Really you will feel something. You're just
like a sweat. You know, what do these people always
(10:24):
say about the Tornada? I thought it was a freight trail.
Now the railroad traveler in one hundred miles and there's
rocket signed this. It's the locomotive. Just made the left
and you a driveway.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Now.
Speaker 7 (10:38):
See, I am not the smartest guy in the world,
but I did this. If I was sitting in my
den at home and just thought, just thought that there
was a freight train somewhere, you're my mailbox. My butt
would be out of that, you know. Now, to be
bloody about you. There are some people who deserve to die.
(11:00):
I don't hope I get out of here before me.
They bad.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Y'all, Wise up and be careful out there, John Boy
and Billy, you're listening to the radio.
Speaker 8 (11:12):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Good morning this Tuesday. We're halfway through June here on
the fifteenth, and a big show is on the radio
with the not Ready for drivetime players actions.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Ricky
bees birthday surprise. As our story opens, Ricky b Sharp's
wife Lucy is grabbing a quick bite to eat at
the food court of Wiregrass Commons Mall in Doothing, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Oh, Lucy shopping? Is that you girl? Uh?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Well, hey there, Bess club. How you do it by?
If I join you?
Speaker 9 (12:20):
Oh lord, no, honey, you take a load off.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
What you doing some shopping?
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Yeah, my husband Ricky's Birthday's coming up an hour to
have a president over at the Things Remembered store. See
it's a picture frame with a business card holder all
the front.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
It's for his desk at work.
Speaker 9 (12:38):
Oh who's that fine looking young girl in a picture?
Looks like old Phara Fawston from Charlie's Angel.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
That's the probad nineteen seventy five girl.
Speaker 9 (12:52):
You had it going on with your feather and hair self.
Who's that sweaty little meat ball with a fake mustache?
Speaker 4 (13:03):
That ain't no kid, it's Ricky.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Uh he's picking me up here his daddy's beat up
old plebyth Fury headed for the jib at Bobby goldsburugh hoschool.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Really, who was the band?
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Bobby Goldsborough hisself?
Speaker 5 (13:19):
He did all his big hits, Honey, watching Scottie grow.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Being the elephants, it was a magical night.
Speaker 9 (13:32):
There you are looking good. You are a skinny little thing,
nice farm bullsom being about a double d. I looked
like a pair of ostrich Now, if you ask me,
you could have done a lot better than old mister
ginger VNIs here.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
Oh, Ricky's all right. He ain't as romatic as he
used to be. But is job that the pizza rut
has run him about half crazy lately?
Speaker 9 (14:04):
Uh huh, Well, word of the wires, clear off your
calendar the day you give this to it, because when
that boy get to look at you in this picture,
all that thirty years of love, it all, you're in
for a hot, sweaty trip down memory lane, brough the
top of your head clean off.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Whoa, I hope you'll ride. I could use a little
extra push lately.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
You need a pickup drunk to do that, child.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
Trust me, if man, it's gonna be all over you,
like Kirstie Kirsty Ally going through the line of Golden Grass.
I wish I had ready. Listen, girl, I gotta run
the mall. Walker's affixing to start up again.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
It's good to see you too.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
The next day, Lucie, I hope hello, Hello.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I've been here, honey. I got a surprise for you.
Speaker 9 (15:06):
Yeah, that's what mister popula.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
What your figure said this morning?
Speaker 9 (15:12):
Spent the whole day in the pizza rut costume, juggling
tennis balls at the adopted petne all over the top
of that little puzzy. I think he's ram He got
me rapped by the mcgrum a couple of times. Oh
wait a minute, dang, it serves my legs.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
With you're killing the mood. Trust me, honey, this is way.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Better than that.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Ah well, well, what's that your present?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Sally?
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Happy birthday? Well, I made nipped you, remember of course
I did. I go on, open her up. I think
you're going to like this.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Huh, what the heck is it?
Speaker 5 (15:55):
It's a desk accessory. Say your business cards? Go right, hair,
I take a look at the picture.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Of the frame.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Let me get my glasses out. Oh hot, aboudy, look
at that.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
That break back any golden be by?
Speaker 9 (16:13):
Oh it sure does you know that? Right there is
my favorite body of all time.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Oh you made it?
Speaker 9 (16:19):
That comes straight?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I ain't seen that is old Plymouth the years.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Who's that hooker standing next to us?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
To that again? Next time we heard the crystal old
lady at Things Remembered.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning.
(17:06):
The bags Shoe is on the radio, coming up a
last chance you did join the Winters today we'll team
up play worthy word. They were talking about celebrity birthdays
earlier this morning. Jim Varney Pillars got to know him
real well. He passed away from cancer on February tenth,
two thousand, is fifty years old. Yeah that was rough boy,
you know, and I remember seeing him. YA might have
(17:28):
seen him in local commercials. He started off as a
TV pitch man in this catchphrase. You know, he was
called Ernest p worrel catchphrase, know what a mean barn
always over at Burn's house and doing this, I mean
around here was pet milk. I guess he did those
around the country, thousands of them, thousands and thousands of
the Honey movies. Were you in with him? Joe just too,
(17:48):
just too rides again and in the Army, So he
said he had more than ten films, or Ernest the
Pirate that it never happened.
Speaker 10 (17:56):
That was supposed to be my writing partner at the time.
Joe and I were working on two separate scripts for
new Ernest movies when Jim got sick.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Really yep yep. So Ernest in the Army was the
last I remember you. You you played the General General Lincoln,
General High Lincoln, not our General. Ernest goes to Africa,
Ernest goes to school, Ernest scared stupid, Ernest goes to jail,
Ernest aves Christmas, Ernest goes to camp. Ernest rides again.
(18:23):
Was the one we did up in Vancouver. That was er.
Speaker 10 (18:26):
That's the first time I really got to spend time.
But we were set. We were at the Lamaridian Hotel
and it's changed hands. I don't know what it is now.
But we're sitting down in the bar and h Ernsberg
and I Duke was stalking Kevin Bacon and I was
talking to Brian Dennehy and incomes Jim Varney with Chloris
Leachman on his back, literally on his back.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Sounds about right. Look what I found out a lobby
because they had just done Beverly Hillbilly. Oh yeah, yeah,
that's right. He played Jen Clamfont.
Speaker 10 (18:54):
And she came in and she just was hysterical. Really,
those two went on for many minutes.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
It was very funny. How do you like playing that character?
Did he like it?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You know?
Speaker 10 (19:06):
It was kind of a double edged sword. It gave
him an incredible lifestyle and notoriety. But he worked so
hard at showing everybody how smart he was. And Varney
was brilliant. He gave me many many books over the
time I knew him to read.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
That was just so deep. I mean i'd get halfway
through him. I'd call him up and I go, dude,
what is this?
Speaker 10 (19:29):
I have no idea what this is? And then he'd said,
explain it. He was a watch collector. He was an
expert sportsman and a marksman. He was just a spot
on marksman with bow and arrow, went all over the
world shooting bow and arrow.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Lung cancer got him, yeah, and then it moved to
his brain. He was in the original toy story. He
was the slicky dog in one and two? What was
I saw one when I really became a fan of
his where he played a whole bunch of different parts.
It was like a short film or short. It was
a family member played if you mean the kid and
he had a cinder block and he was throwing it
(20:04):
on the ground and they came out with a tilted world. Guy.
Speaker 10 (20:07):
You can find Ernest's Family Reunion. Ernest Family is a
DVD that's out there. And that's got him doing all
these characters.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And didn't he he did a Saturday Morning show.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Weren't some of those want an Emmy for that? Yeah?
This boy was played with Who's cinder blogger?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Gone?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Bust up all you toys? Daddy and by and you Yeah,
Daddy is rich. We're gonna have pretend lobster for they
would have pretend dinners because there was no boar. Oh daddy,
we had lobster last night. Don't get you some more
than that. I'm working on you as I like you. Yeah,
(20:44):
that's it. He's working on you a good deal. Well,
let's team up. Played this worthy word game he play,
I don't play for it in minutes. Come on to
the big shows on you a radio all ride. Well,
y'all ready to play this wordy word game. Ranging up,
Let's do it one eight hundred Big Show was your
toe free line callers nine and ten, y'all will play
(21:06):
with us next Tuesday morning. Everybody is a big show
(21:33):
on the radio. Video the day Gasoline Bonfire goes awesome.
Check it out at the Big Show dot com time today. Alrighty,
let's seem up.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
Learnt everybody's head about the bed.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
There's been a contestants. We got Robbie from Mount Pleasant,
South Carolina. Good morning, Robbie, are you hey on? Good buddy?
You're playing Mark at a Saint Simon's Island, Georgia. Good morning, Mark,
Good morning, How are you hey? We're doing good? Robbie
playing on John Bow and Billy Mark. You got tarrent
Tator on your side?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
All right, all right, I.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Say a new category here, turn me on Electricity and
electrical things and that way of turning on Robbie, Mark,
I guess these are things to do with electricity. Okay, Robbie,
list say we can turn it on me and you
for the first thirty seconds. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Let's see what we can do. Start to clock now
the guy who flew the kite and discovered lightning. Yeah, alrighty.
This is like if you're listening in your car. It's
not mono. It's like two speakers you're listening to. Yeah, alrighty.
You kill somebody by putting them in this and plugging
it up. Yeah, alrighty, this is what you do. Hey,
(22:53):
find me a blank so I can plug this in.
They're on the wall. It's in. Uh no, it's in, yes, okay,
all right? Uh you throw this? Throw this at Trent.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Throw this.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Jo he said breaker. But it was after the buzzer,
so to throw that away. But we got four there, Robbie.
All right, depends on how the other team does. Who's
who's going first? Here to Marcy? Because I suck so
bad yesterday, right man, I wass go ahead, get an
over with you?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
All right?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Mark? Are you ready? Let's do this? Okay? And go
all right?
Speaker 11 (23:36):
If you have some soup, you use an electric one
of these to get.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Into the to your soup.
Speaker 11 (23:44):
Yuh, you're listening to us on the radio.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
You use this to get the dust up out of.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Your carpet vacuum plan.
Speaker 11 (23:56):
If the air conditioner is out, you might have put
in or you have a ceiling one of these, I am.
If it's too cold, you go and turn up the furnace,
which is also called the.
Speaker 8 (24:08):
Or.
Speaker 11 (24:09):
It's also like a no, it's it's where it's where
the hot air comes out.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
It's a oh, well, couldn't close that last one, so
it's tied up four to four. Alrighty okay, now Robbie,
you and Billy get to pick up on that last one.
That tighter melted down, all dramatic. Robbie and Billy ready go.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Not the air conditioner, but the another name for another
name for it. Sometimes sometimes they run on propane.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
H v A C.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Sometimes they run on propane, or they can run electricity. Yes,
there you go, you got it. Finally Xerox makes these. Yeah,
let's see you go up. It's not an elevat, it's
an let's see another name for the ice box refrigerator.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
All right, and another fours, three fours in a row.
Robbie has a total of eight. And now it comes
down to mall rays and Mark four will tie five,
will win?
Speaker 12 (25:21):
In your grass it's Morris Ready go Thomas Heison invented
the what.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
He screwed in? There? You go?
Speaker 12 (25:31):
You tell time on a what what?
Speaker 6 (25:33):
What?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Else? A bigger one? Uh?
Speaker 12 (25:36):
You you work on this, you get your email off
your what computer? This is where you put discs in
and you no discs play?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
No kind of player? What kind of players? Three letters?
You know? What kind? Three letters? Movie? DVR? You were
so hello? I was missing by a letter? Come up
one short, Robbie man, Mark Terry was trying to get
(26:11):
you say DVD player? Oh no, good try man at
all around it? Mark, Well thanks for playing, buddy, you
try again?
Speaker 9 (26:19):
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You sure can. I'd like to say hello to my
beautiful wife Kara, my beautiful little two year old Princess Alexa,
and all the guys at mv McDonald's constructions coughing, y'all
get to work, mar I appreciate you and yours. Listen
to the Big show. What a good try? Alright? Did
then Robbie and from Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. The prize
(26:41):
package is yours, buddy Grogjoe.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
All right, thank you?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Can I get a shout out? Yes, sir, all right
to all the customers of South Carolina Lightning Protection and
my man Ben Franklin, thank you for being our customers. Hi,
how about that man? First shout out for Ben Franklin. Everyone, Well,
he invented light I would have been bad if he
had got Ben Franklin invented lighter. You s when I said, well,
(27:05):
you know us genius Robbie grog Old every buddy ain't
gonnaack get your info Tuesday morning. You gotta make show
(27:34):
on the radio, says a lot of requests coming in
for one the fan favorites, Mad Max all right, Mad Max,
Yon Boy.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
And Billy Mad Max?
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Here Max, how's it going? How you think it's going?
I'm as mad as a mud fence. Wait, that's how ugly.
I don't get confused hitting go boys.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
I thought it was time to again with.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Some folks we ain't talked about in a while. Let's
see what new outrage is being peddled by our old friends.
That peta he will eat up with talking about animals.
I remember first they brought us meat his murder, then
they told us fish filled pain. Then they had that
ad campaign with all the actresses. I'd rather go niked
(28:23):
than wear fur I gotta admit that one almost won
me open. Not only did it get me out of
every having to buy a fur coat. Well, I got
to see that little redheaded goal from.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
The X Files. Nikked anyway, boy is Peter's latest.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Argument with normal people is we need to stop using
sayings and catchphrases that have animals in them. They want
everybody to quit saying stuff like kill two birds with
one stone and beating a dead horse and bringing home
the bacon.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Because that's being disrespectful to animals. All right, Well, here's
a catchphras It ain't got no animals in it at all.
My big old buck and peta.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Thing is using animals to make a point about something
is wrong.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I ain't real sure why.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
A guess it hurts the animal self esteem or so.
In the last twenty years were gone from fish field
pain to flounders have feelings too. But where the peed
of people messed up is they try to suggest some
new phrases to replace the old ones. How they do
(29:41):
well as one well known catchphraseologists would say not cool
good instead of bring home the bacon. Pet of things,
we are to say bring home the bagels. Instead of
don't beat a dead horse. It should be don't feed
a fed horse. And we need to quit trying to
(30:04):
kill two birds with one stone and start trying to
feed the two birds with one scone.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Petus.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Their dream is that one day animal phrases will be as.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Unacceptable as racism, sexism.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
And homophobia.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
All right, First of all, how is this anything like racism?
Racism is a real thing. This is something y'all made up.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
It's like anytime somebody wants to make a point about discrimination,
they try to piggyback the civil rights movement. Oops, sorry
for using the word. Ain't sure why they brung homophobia
into their argument neither, Although feed two birds with one
stone might be the gayest catchphrase of now, as far
(30:59):
as animals having anything to do with sexism, may I
just say bitch please.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'm chechen pet.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
If y'all think you're gonna get me to quit using
critters in my catchphrases, don't count your chickens before they
I don't mean to be caddy. I ain't trying to
get your goat. But so far your idea people have
screwed the food. All these new catchphraises are dull, they're
(31:29):
for the birds, They're like something the cat dragged is.
In fact, most of them are complete bull hockeys.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Well that's it for me. I'm out of here, like
crap through a.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Goose go on. That guyness is Manma saying, let out,
shut up and quit running my language. Shot y'ahn boy,
and believe y'all have a nuts doesn't good? Martin to
(32:13):
Vic show is on the radio.
Speaker 11 (32:16):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I got this of email. Jackie said, this guy reminded
her of me for some reason. Now, what the deal is?
This guy put twenty six beanie babies from his ex
wife on eBay. Well that sounds like something you do.
Apparently she moved out with that son behind. So anyway,
this is the description of the auction, he says. Let
(32:37):
me begin by explaining some very important details. This way,
I do not get hundreds of silly emails asking me
to photograph behind the end of some stuffed animals. I
do not know crap about these things. They belonged to
my ex wife, who had about a thousand of these
beanie babies. And when she moved this one box of
these got left behind. And now I'm selling the goofy
(32:58):
little things. Really, whatever money I make from them will
be spending the local home depot on tools and other
cool stuff. Oh no, boy, I do not know which
of these babies is retired or new or whatever. I
will list them in no particular order. I will tell
you what his name is on the tag, if it
has a plastic box or something. All these gritters have
been stored indoors and are from a non smoking home. Again,
(33:21):
please do not send me emails asking me to photograph
this or that. I'm starting the auction at ten dollars
into that price, I figure you all can take a chance.
I understand from a friend's wife that people are afraid
to get fakes, fakes, fake plush toys. I was amazed.
I thought people forge money, not children's toys. Well, I
(33:42):
can only say that ninety nine percent of these goofy
toys were bought with my money either the local Hallmark
store one of the dozen or so Southern craft collectible
stores I had to go to on a weekly basis
buying these ridiculous toys. Years ago. Now yeahs starting to
sound like happy bidding. Please take these critters from me
so I can buy tools. Not that I'm interested or anything.
(34:05):
What he says final notice and disclaimer. I know nothing
about these stuffed beanie babies all for no proof of anything.
It's a stuffed animal, Get over it. I don't think
my ex wife was in the black market beanie trade,
but then again I didn't know she was having an
affair either.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Thus no.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
US, no guarantees. All have their little heart shaped tags
on their ears. And then he listed them, and then
a very kind Ebayar wrote me an email and said
the following. The valuable beanies here are Stagg, Humphrey, Webb
and Peanut. They are worth considerably more if they have
the red heart hangtags and if the tags are in
good shape, no creases or tears. If you wouldn't mind
(34:49):
giving me more info in those Also, if you added
more infos to the auction, I'm sure you could get
more money for your tools. To answer her question, he says,
I looked, and to the best am I looking at
them all. None of the ones she mentioned have any
torn tags or creased tags. In fact, none of the
little critters have messed up tags. People have been telling
me these critters are worth a lot of money. I
(35:10):
know nothing about them and told you everything you need
to know up in the description. I make no claims
on value, and to be honest, I'm amazed anyone pays
more than a dollar apiece for these things. What happened
to collecting stamps? Pay what you want for him? It
all goes to home depot and beer. Then the seller
(35:32):
out of the following information, he says, all right, all
you people with nothing better to do, enough with the emails.
I thought I was clear with all that. Here's an
email that I just got from some lady who felt
she'll try to save me or something. Read below. Very
clever listing. However, it is very likely you have some
fakes counterfeits among the listing, and I suggest you pull
(35:53):
them from the auctions until you have them authenticicated. Humphrey
the camel is an example. It is the requirement of
as well as under the provisions of the US Criminal Code,
that a seller know the authenticity of a trademarked item
he she is selling. Also, an authenticated rare beanie will
bring lots of money on the auctions. I'll let you
know the others that are likely fakes. And further, it
(36:14):
is very unlikely your ex would have left behind these
rare ones. If she had a thousand beanies, she knew
what she had and their value. To sell. Counterfeit of
a trademark item would make you a common criminal. Oh
are you being honest? If so, cancel the auction, relist
the common beanies, and send the rest for authenticication. It
(36:37):
would be well worth it financially and would make you honest, Tasha,
how'd that go over? Well, let's find out. Well, Tasha,
I don't care. I told everybody in to begin and
everything I know and don't know about these stupid animals.
I have an idea of all people that are so
worried about this, don't bid. I don't care. I'm so
(37:01):
upset to this clown of a woman figured out my
super plan to scam millions from the unknowing beanie world.
I figured I would retire from this ruse. What adult
she is. I've blocked her from my bitter list. That
way she can cry about it. Some people are unreal
good a life.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Man, You know, if you could type, you could be
right in.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
There with you the auction is actually over. Daunton is over.
The winning bid eight hundred and sixty dollars. Wow, that
will buy some nice tool. Congratulations all that heartache, because
all right, I'm amazed people pay more than a bucket
peace for them myself and I bet we have ten
thousand of them, right, My wife has everyone. Let's put
(37:46):
him on eBay and before you get on lippy, your
wife has every one of them, and that's my damail.
Let's not forget the description your middle boy tellers and
see at least house I have one collection of them.
You have too, because your wife collected them. And your
middle boy where are they? I ain't seen him in
(38:07):
the years. I was hot about it, then I'm hot
about it.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Sending the dog up, That's why I do it at
my house. He'll come down with one in his mouth
and go, how much does that cost me?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Here's the idea. Let's go through all that stuff. It
was gonna make a lot of money. Yeah, how about
been Pokemon guards? And I had to hear the joke.
For goodness, where's this guy? I believe? I want to
know where we're going.
Speaker 13 (38:30):
Like, I'm all with big boxes here, all your favorites
from four decades of The Big Show ninety nine since
each fifteen for nine ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Buy them once, play them anywhere. You can shop the
Big Box online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Enemy dot Com.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
You can hear it all the John Boy Middle Late
Risers podcast up next. A little for wherever you get
your pods ass make it easy. Subscribe to us with
the free I Heard Radio out see Tomorrow. We love you,
We made it
Good morning is a big syon the radio, John Bob
Ben This Maranday Jaggie Micey mis standard touch. Thanks Oldpira
John for sending in some famous marketing screw ups. Heard
some of these, but some of them are new to me.
Sire all right. Cores put its slogan turn it Loose
into Spanish, where it was read as suffer from diarrhea
(00:32):
too good. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer electro Lucks used the following
in an American campaign, Nothing sucks like an electro lux
that's got to catch you. Clai Al introduced the mist
stick a curling iron into Germany, only to find out
that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people
(00:56):
had to use for the manure stick like that. When
gerberst artist selling baby food in Africa, they used the
same packaging as in the US, with a beautiful Caucasian
baby on the label. We all know the Gerber baby.
Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures
on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.
(01:17):
That's why baby oil has coldgate introduced to toothpaste in
France called Q, the name of a Notorious Porno magazine.
An American t shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for
the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of
(01:38):
I saw the Pope El Papa, the shirts read I
saw the Potato, Love Papa the potato. Pepsi's Pepsi slogan
come alive with a Pepsi generation translated into Pepsi brings
your ancestors back from the grave. In Chinese Frank Produce
(02:01):
Chicken slogan, it takes a strong man to make a
tender chicken. It was translated into Spanish as it takes
an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate all about.
The Coca Cola name in China was first read as
kyo ki la, meaning bite the wax tadpole. Coke then
(02:25):
researched forty thousand characters to find a phonetic equivalent, co khali.
It translated into happiness in the mouth. All right, so
that was a lot better than what they had. And finally,
when Parker Penn marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its
ads were supposed to have read it won't leak in
your pocket and embarrass you. Instead, the company thought the
(02:49):
word embarizar to impregnate meant to embarrass, so the ad
read it won't leak in your pocket and make you
pregnant famous screw up. Good morning everybody, Big Show's on
the radio. By doing all, I get this way off
(03:10):
in the I'm playing with my microphone that's rubber band
around it. Amusing myself. How about that? Than you? Alright, y'all,
that's going jumping us Coln Event's quizies. This way for
you to join the winners. Take see when a John
Boyn Billy executive dress watching Alvadable at the Big Show
dot Com. Alright one eight hundred Big Show. You're toe
(03:30):
free line across America, be calling on Take see and
win right now. Good Juesday morning, everybody to make show
(04:00):
us on the radio. Our video of the day Gasoline
bonfire goes awesome. Hey girls, you quiz Hello, we got
(04:21):
fuzz from Harlan Kentucky. Good morning for you fuzz. That's
when I got a fuzz down there at Booger Branch too.
Heard I got a feeling you might get along with
my fuzz.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I get along with anybody.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Hey, you fuzz work Harlan, I man the hard parts
over you listening to Bill and win this prize package.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Well, fuzz.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Your chance.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
The Hot Internet. The hot Internet rumor of the week
is did Sarah Palin get a boob job? Several celebrity
websites are comparing pictures of Palin on the campaign trail
in two thousand and eight with a set of recent
shots taken when she wore a clingy white top at
the Belmont Stag's horse Race. Some are suggesting that the
(05:21):
girls look a little peckier than they used to. Pelan
denied the rumor. She says the closest she's ever come
to a boob job was a using duct tape during
a beauty pageant, b wearing a push up bra for
a photo shoot, or c agreeing to be John McCain's
running back.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
You told us it was cod congratulations, fuzzbo.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
House man. I got wish my lovely wife a happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Well, let's should get you right out of there.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Huh hey, I hope it does, because I forgot it
didn't get her nothing.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Oh God, happy birthday, my futiful wife. Thank you, John boy,
good luck with that fuzz Hey give shout out my kids?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Uh Katie, Mike Tuckter. Uh huh and uh old.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Randy walters out there with COPD family. He sure does
the lost for worsh Right, all right, well fuzz I'm
gonna give you back to Jackie. Oh thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
But one other person I'd like to talk.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
To you on the phono.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Mothers to be John Boy. Well, well yeah, I want bye,
I got stuff, I got news.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
Thank y'all.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Good work.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
He see you rock by fuz like you have.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 7 (07:33):
Oh you know, hurricanes don't bother me a lot. The
one kind of world I'm afraid of is tornados.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Is that right?
Speaker 7 (07:38):
Oh yeah, I'm in Tornado country there in Georgia. I
came to this conclusion watching television news most of my life,
and that is a tornado has never touched an intelligent
man's trailer. Can't find the talk too of the news.
Well you just think about this, Randy. I'm serious. I
(08:02):
don't care whether you're twenty one years of age or
eighty one. I don't care how long you've been on
this earth. I will bet you any amount of money
that in your entire lifetime you have never seen on
the evening news a tordinative victim from a trailer park
in a three piece suit a Martin grab shirt, going, Yes,
this was rather devastating. A tree fell on the lexus.
(08:29):
Quite a bit of in our hot tub. I believe
with all my heart. Now, I know people think this
is just a comedy routine, but I believe with all
my heart that when a tordinator hits the news director
at the local TV station, he tells his reporter get
out to the trailer park and interview a dumbass.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And try to find one who's married to a fat woman.
Speaker 7 (08:58):
Now here's the couple they always interview Stanley where their
trailer used to be. The husband's always real frail. He's
like one hundred and twelve pounds one hundred and eight
without the butt buckle. Wear our little John deer cap
got a tack too, usually with something misspelled. You know,
(09:22):
got a tire gauge in his pocket, that's in case
the trailer don't see level standing next to his wife, Dad.
His wife weighs four hundred wearing those tight tight polyestra pants.
I mean, why did they wear that? John boy?
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Don't don't they don't how that looks.
Speaker 7 (09:42):
I mean, I know they're fat, by hell, they're not blind. Yeah,
i'd a four hundred pound woman put on tight polyestra pants,
then look in the mirror and go all right, it
seems like she's always wearing a beeper. I need to
tell you all something about fat people and beepers that
you're worth the old kind of beeper, the one that
(10:04):
made a noise. They got these moderate the high tech was.
Now they don't make a noise that simply vibrates. Will
trust me on this. If you weigh four hundred pounds,
you're missing calls. Really you will feel something. You're just
like a sweat. You know, what do these people always
(10:24):
say about the Tornada? I thought it was a freight trail.
Now the railroad traveler in one hundred miles and there's
rocket signed this. It's the locomotive. Just made the left
and you a driveway.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Now.
Speaker 7 (10:38):
See, I am not the smartest guy in the world,
but I did this. If I was sitting in my
den at home and just thought, just thought that there
was a freight train somewhere, you're my mailbox. My butt
would be out of that, you know. Now, to be
bloody about you. There are some people who deserve to die.
(11:00):
I don't hope I get out of here before me.
They bad.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Y'all, Wise up and be careful out there, John Boy
and Billy, you're listening to the radio.
Speaker 8 (11:12):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Good morning this Tuesday. We're halfway through June here on
the fifteenth, and a big show is on the radio
with the not Ready for drivetime players actions.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Ricky
bees birthday surprise. As our story opens, Ricky b Sharp's
wife Lucy is grabbing a quick bite to eat at
the food court of Wiregrass Commons Mall in Doothing, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Oh, Lucy shopping? Is that you girl? Uh?
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Well, hey there, Bess club. How you do it by?
If I join you?
Speaker 9 (12:20):
Oh lord, no, honey, you take a load off.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
What you doing some shopping?
Speaker 5 (12:24):
Yeah, my husband Ricky's Birthday's coming up an hour to
have a president over at the Things Remembered store. See
it's a picture frame with a business card holder all
the front.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
It's for his desk at work.
Speaker 9 (12:38):
Oh who's that fine looking young girl in a picture?
Looks like old Phara Fawston from Charlie's Angel.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
That's the probad nineteen seventy five girl.
Speaker 9 (12:52):
You had it going on with your feather and hair self.
Who's that sweaty little meat ball with a fake mustache?
Speaker 4 (13:03):
That ain't no kid, it's Ricky.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Uh he's picking me up here his daddy's beat up
old plebyth Fury headed for the jib at Bobby goldsburugh hoschool.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Really, who was the band?
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Bobby Goldsborough hisself?
Speaker 5 (13:19):
He did all his big hits, Honey, watching Scottie grow.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
Being the elephants, it was a magical night.
Speaker 9 (13:32):
There you are looking good. You are a skinny little thing,
nice farm bullsom being about a double d. I looked
like a pair of ostrich Now, if you ask me,
you could have done a lot better than old mister
ginger VNIs here.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
Oh, Ricky's all right. He ain't as romatic as he
used to be. But is job that the pizza rut
has run him about half crazy lately?
Speaker 9 (14:04):
Uh huh, Well, word of the wires, clear off your
calendar the day you give this to it, because when
that boy get to look at you in this picture,
all that thirty years of love, it all, you're in
for a hot, sweaty trip down memory lane, brough the
top of your head clean off.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Whoa, I hope you'll ride. I could use a little
extra push lately.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
You need a pickup drunk to do that, child.
Speaker 9 (14:34):
Trust me, if man, it's gonna be all over you,
like Kirstie Kirsty Ally going through the line of Golden Grass.
I wish I had ready. Listen, girl, I gotta run
the mall. Walker's affixing to start up again.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
It's good to see you too.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
The next day, Lucie, I hope hello, Hello.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I've been here, honey. I got a surprise for you.
Speaker 9 (15:06):
Yeah, that's what mister popula.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
What your figure said this morning?
Speaker 9 (15:12):
Spent the whole day in the pizza rut costume, juggling
tennis balls at the adopted petne all over the top
of that little puzzy. I think he's ram He got
me rapped by the mcgrum a couple of times. Oh
wait a minute, dang, it serves my legs.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
With you're killing the mood. Trust me, honey, this is way.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Better than that.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Ah well, well, what's that your present?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Sally?
Speaker 5 (15:44):
Happy birthday? Well, I made nipped you, remember of course
I did. I go on, open her up. I think
you're going to like this.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Huh, what the heck is it?
Speaker 5 (15:55):
It's a desk accessory. Say your business cards? Go right, hair,
I take a look at the picture.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Of the frame.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Let me get my glasses out. Oh hot, aboudy, look
at that.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
That break back any golden be by?
Speaker 9 (16:13):
Oh it sure does you know that? Right there is
my favorite body of all time.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
Oh you made it?
Speaker 9 (16:19):
That comes straight?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
I ain't seen that is old Plymouth the years.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Who's that hooker standing next to us?
Speaker 3 (16:36):
To that again? Next time we heard the crystal old
lady at Things Remembered.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Say, hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning.
(17:06):
The bags Shoe is on the radio, coming up a
last chance you did join the Winters today we'll team
up play worthy word. They were talking about celebrity birthdays
earlier this morning. Jim Varney Pillars got to know him
real well. He passed away from cancer on February tenth,
two thousand, is fifty years old. Yeah that was rough boy,
you know, and I remember seeing him. YA might have
(17:28):
seen him in local commercials. He started off as a
TV pitch man in this catchphrase. You know, he was
called Ernest p worrel catchphrase, know what a mean barn
always over at Burn's house and doing this, I mean
around here was pet milk. I guess he did those
around the country, thousands of them, thousands and thousands of
the Honey movies. Were you in with him? Joe just too,
(17:48):
just too rides again and in the Army, So he
said he had more than ten films, or Ernest the
Pirate that it never happened.
Speaker 10 (17:56):
That was supposed to be my writing partner at the time.
Joe and I were working on two separate scripts for
new Ernest movies when Jim got sick.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Really yep yep. So Ernest in the Army was the
last I remember you. You you played the General General Lincoln,
General High Lincoln, not our General. Ernest goes to Africa,
Ernest goes to school, Ernest scared stupid, Ernest goes to jail,
Ernest aves Christmas, Ernest goes to camp. Ernest rides again.
(18:23):
Was the one we did up in Vancouver. That was er.
Speaker 10 (18:26):
That's the first time I really got to spend time.
But we were set. We were at the Lamaridian Hotel
and it's changed hands. I don't know what it is now.
But we're sitting down in the bar and h Ernsberg
and I Duke was stalking Kevin Bacon and I was
talking to Brian Dennehy and incomes Jim Varney with Chloris
Leachman on his back, literally on his back.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Sounds about right. Look what I found out a lobby
because they had just done Beverly Hillbilly. Oh yeah, yeah,
that's right. He played Jen Clamfont.
Speaker 10 (18:54):
And she came in and she just was hysterical. Really,
those two went on for many minutes.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
It was very funny. How do you like playing that character?
Did he like it?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
You know?
Speaker 10 (19:06):
It was kind of a double edged sword. It gave
him an incredible lifestyle and notoriety. But he worked so
hard at showing everybody how smart he was. And Varney
was brilliant. He gave me many many books over the
time I knew him to read.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
That was just so deep. I mean i'd get halfway
through him. I'd call him up and I go, dude,
what is this?
Speaker 10 (19:29):
I have no idea what this is? And then he'd said,
explain it. He was a watch collector. He was an
expert sportsman and a marksman. He was just a spot
on marksman with bow and arrow, went all over the
world shooting bow and arrow.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Lung cancer got him, yeah, and then it moved to
his brain. He was in the original toy story. He
was the slicky dog in one and two? What was
I saw one when I really became a fan of
his where he played a whole bunch of different parts.
It was like a short film or short. It was
a family member played if you mean the kid and
he had a cinder block and he was throwing it
(20:04):
on the ground and they came out with a tilted world. Guy.
Speaker 10 (20:07):
You can find Ernest's Family Reunion. Ernest Family is a
DVD that's out there. And that's got him doing all
these characters.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
And didn't he he did a Saturday Morning show.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Weren't some of those want an Emmy for that? Yeah?
This boy was played with Who's cinder blogger?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Gone?
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Bust up all you toys? Daddy and by and you Yeah,
Daddy is rich. We're gonna have pretend lobster for they
would have pretend dinners because there was no boar. Oh daddy,
we had lobster last night. Don't get you some more
than that. I'm working on you as I like you. Yeah,
(20:44):
that's it. He's working on you a good deal. Well,
let's team up. Played this worthy word game he play,
I don't play for it in minutes. Come on to
the big shows on you a radio all ride. Well,
y'all ready to play this wordy word game. Ranging up,
Let's do it one eight hundred Big Show was your
toe free line callers nine and ten, y'all will play
(21:06):
with us next Tuesday morning. Everybody is a big show
(21:33):
on the radio. Video the day Gasoline Bonfire goes awesome.
Check it out at the Big Show dot com time today. Alrighty,
let's seem up.
Speaker 9 (21:43):
Learnt everybody's head about the bed.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
There's been a contestants. We got Robbie from Mount Pleasant,
South Carolina. Good morning, Robbie, are you hey on? Good buddy?
You're playing Mark at a Saint Simon's Island, Georgia. Good morning, Mark,
Good morning, How are you hey? We're doing good? Robbie
playing on John Bow and Billy Mark. You got tarrent
Tator on your side?
Speaker 4 (22:09):
All right, all right, I.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Say a new category here, turn me on Electricity and
electrical things and that way of turning on Robbie, Mark,
I guess these are things to do with electricity. Okay, Robbie,
list say we can turn it on me and you
for the first thirty seconds. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Let's see what we can do. Start to clock now
the guy who flew the kite and discovered lightning. Yeah, alrighty.
This is like if you're listening in your car. It's
not mono. It's like two speakers you're listening to. Yeah, alrighty.
You kill somebody by putting them in this and plugging
it up. Yeah, alrighty, this is what you do. Hey,
(22:53):
find me a blank so I can plug this in.
They're on the wall. It's in. Uh no, it's in, yes, okay,
all right? Uh you throw this? Throw this at Trent.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Throw this.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Jo he said breaker. But it was after the buzzer,
so to throw that away. But we got four there, Robbie.
All right, depends on how the other team does. Who's
who's going first? Here to Marcy? Because I suck so
bad yesterday, right man, I wass go ahead, get an
over with you?
Speaker 2 (23:30):
All right?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Mark? Are you ready? Let's do this? Okay? And go
all right?
Speaker 11 (23:36):
If you have some soup, you use an electric one
of these to get.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Into the to your soup.
Speaker 11 (23:44):
Yuh, you're listening to us on the radio.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
You use this to get the dust up out of.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Your carpet vacuum plan.
Speaker 11 (23:56):
If the air conditioner is out, you might have put
in or you have a ceiling one of these, I am.
If it's too cold, you go and turn up the furnace,
which is also called the.
Speaker 8 (24:08):
Or.
Speaker 11 (24:09):
It's also like a no, it's it's where it's where
the hot air comes out.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
It's a oh, well, couldn't close that last one, so
it's tied up four to four. Alrighty okay, now Robbie,
you and Billy get to pick up on that last one.
That tighter melted down, all dramatic. Robbie and Billy ready go.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Not the air conditioner, but the another name for another
name for it. Sometimes sometimes they run on propane.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
H v A C.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Sometimes they run on propane, or they can run electricity. Yes,
there you go, you got it. Finally Xerox makes these. Yeah,
let's see you go up. It's not an elevat, it's
an let's see another name for the ice box refrigerator.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
All right, and another fours, three fours in a row.
Robbie has a total of eight. And now it comes
down to mall rays and Mark four will tie five,
will win?
Speaker 12 (25:21):
In your grass it's Morris Ready go Thomas Heison invented
the what.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
He screwed in? There? You go?
Speaker 12 (25:31):
You tell time on a what what?
Speaker 6 (25:33):
What?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Else? A bigger one? Uh?
Speaker 12 (25:36):
You you work on this, you get your email off
your what computer? This is where you put discs in
and you no discs play?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
No kind of player? What kind of players? Three letters?
You know? What kind? Three letters? Movie? DVR? You were
so hello? I was missing by a letter? Come up
one short, Robbie man, Mark Terry was trying to get
(26:11):
you say DVD player? Oh no, good try man at
all around it? Mark, Well thanks for playing, buddy, you
try again?
Speaker 9 (26:19):
Can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
You sure can. I'd like to say hello to my
beautiful wife Kara, my beautiful little two year old Princess Alexa,
and all the guys at mv McDonald's constructions coughing, y'all
get to work, mar I appreciate you and yours. Listen
to the Big show. What a good try? Alright? Did
then Robbie and from Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. The prize
(26:41):
package is yours, buddy Grogjoe.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
All right, thank you?
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Can I get a shout out? Yes, sir, all right
to all the customers of South Carolina Lightning Protection and
my man Ben Franklin, thank you for being our customers. Hi,
how about that man? First shout out for Ben Franklin. Everyone, Well,
he invented light I would have been bad if he
had got Ben Franklin invented lighter. You s when I said, well,
(27:05):
you know us genius Robbie grog Old every buddy ain't
gonnaack get your info Tuesday morning. You gotta make show
(27:34):
on the radio, says a lot of requests coming in
for one the fan favorites, Mad Max all right, Mad Max,
Yon Boy.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
And Billy Mad Max?
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Here Max, how's it going? How you think it's going?
I'm as mad as a mud fence. Wait, that's how ugly.
I don't get confused hitting go boys.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
I thought it was time to again with.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Some folks we ain't talked about in a while. Let's
see what new outrage is being peddled by our old friends.
That peta he will eat up with talking about animals.
I remember first they brought us meat his murder, then
they told us fish filled pain. Then they had that
ad campaign with all the actresses. I'd rather go niked
(28:23):
than wear fur I gotta admit that one almost won
me open. Not only did it get me out of
every having to buy a fur coat. Well, I got
to see that little redheaded goal from.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
The X Files. Nikked anyway, boy is Peter's latest.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Argument with normal people is we need to stop using
sayings and catchphrases that have animals in them. They want
everybody to quit saying stuff like kill two birds with
one stone and beating a dead horse and bringing home
the bacon.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Because that's being disrespectful to animals. All right, Well, here's
a catchphras It ain't got no animals in it at all.
My big old buck and peta.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Thing is using animals to make a point about something
is wrong.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
I ain't real sure why.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
A guess it hurts the animal self esteem or so.
In the last twenty years were gone from fish field
pain to flounders have feelings too. But where the peed
of people messed up is they try to suggest some
new phrases to replace the old ones. How they do
(29:41):
well as one well known catchphraseologists would say not cool
good instead of bring home the bacon. Pet of things,
we are to say bring home the bagels. Instead of
don't beat a dead horse. It should be don't feed
a fed horse. And we need to quit trying to
(30:04):
kill two birds with one stone and start trying to
feed the two birds with one scone.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Petus.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Their dream is that one day animal phrases will be as.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
Unacceptable as racism, sexism.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
And homophobia.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
All right, First of all, how is this anything like racism?
Racism is a real thing. This is something y'all made up.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
It's like anytime somebody wants to make a point about discrimination,
they try to piggyback the civil rights movement. Oops, sorry
for using the word. Ain't sure why they brung homophobia
into their argument neither, Although feed two birds with one
stone might be the gayest catchphrase of now, as far
(30:59):
as animals having anything to do with sexism, may I
just say bitch please.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'm chechen pet.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
If y'all think you're gonna get me to quit using
critters in my catchphrases, don't count your chickens before they
I don't mean to be caddy. I ain't trying to
get your goat. But so far your idea people have
screwed the food. All these new catchphraises are dull, they're
(31:29):
for the birds, They're like something the cat dragged is.
In fact, most of them are complete bull hockeys.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Well that's it for me. I'm out of here, like
crap through a.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Goose go on. That guyness is Manma saying, let out,
shut up and quit running my language. Shot y'ahn boy,
and believe y'all have a nuts doesn't good? Martin to
(32:13):
Vic show is on the radio.
Speaker 11 (32:16):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I got this of email. Jackie said, this guy reminded
her of me for some reason. Now, what the deal is?
This guy put twenty six beanie babies from his ex
wife on eBay. Well that sounds like something you do.
Apparently she moved out with that son behind. So anyway,
this is the description of the auction, he says. Let
(32:37):
me begin by explaining some very important details. This way,
I do not get hundreds of silly emails asking me
to photograph behind the end of some stuffed animals. I
do not know crap about these things. They belonged to
my ex wife, who had about a thousand of these
beanie babies. And when she moved this one box of
these got left behind. And now I'm selling the goofy
(32:58):
little things. Really, whatever money I make from them will
be spending the local home depot on tools and other
cool stuff. Oh no, boy, I do not know which
of these babies is retired or new or whatever. I
will list them in no particular order. I will tell
you what his name is on the tag, if it
has a plastic box or something. All these gritters have
been stored indoors and are from a non smoking home. Again,
(33:21):
please do not send me emails asking me to photograph
this or that. I'm starting the auction at ten dollars
into that price, I figure you all can take a chance.
I understand from a friend's wife that people are afraid
to get fakes, fakes, fake plush toys. I was amazed.
I thought people forge money, not children's toys. Well, I
(33:42):
can only say that ninety nine percent of these goofy
toys were bought with my money either the local Hallmark
store one of the dozen or so Southern craft collectible
stores I had to go to on a weekly basis
buying these ridiculous toys. Years ago. Now yeahs starting to
sound like happy bidding. Please take these critters from me
so I can buy tools. Not that I'm interested or anything.
(34:05):
What he says final notice and disclaimer. I know nothing
about these stuffed beanie babies all for no proof of anything.
It's a stuffed animal, Get over it. I don't think
my ex wife was in the black market beanie trade,
but then again I didn't know she was having an
affair either.
Speaker 2 (34:24):
Thus no.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
US, no guarantees. All have their little heart shaped tags
on their ears. And then he listed them, and then
a very kind Ebayar wrote me an email and said
the following. The valuable beanies here are Stagg, Humphrey, Webb
and Peanut. They are worth considerably more if they have
the red heart hangtags and if the tags are in
good shape, no creases or tears. If you wouldn't mind
(34:49):
giving me more info in those Also, if you added
more infos to the auction, I'm sure you could get
more money for your tools. To answer her question, he says,
I looked, and to the best am I looking at
them all. None of the ones she mentioned have any
torn tags or creased tags. In fact, none of the
little critters have messed up tags. People have been telling
me these critters are worth a lot of money. I
(35:10):
know nothing about them and told you everything you need
to know up in the description. I make no claims
on value, and to be honest, I'm amazed anyone pays
more than a dollar apiece for these things. What happened
to collecting stamps? Pay what you want for him? It
all goes to home depot and beer. Then the seller
(35:32):
out of the following information, he says, all right, all
you people with nothing better to do, enough with the emails.
I thought I was clear with all that. Here's an
email that I just got from some lady who felt
she'll try to save me or something. Read below. Very
clever listing. However, it is very likely you have some
fakes counterfeits among the listing, and I suggest you pull
(35:53):
them from the auctions until you have them authenticicated. Humphrey
the camel is an example. It is the requirement of
as well as under the provisions of the US Criminal Code,
that a seller know the authenticity of a trademarked item
he she is selling. Also, an authenticated rare beanie will
bring lots of money on the auctions. I'll let you
know the others that are likely fakes. And further, it
(36:14):
is very unlikely your ex would have left behind these
rare ones. If she had a thousand beanies, she knew
what she had and their value. To sell. Counterfeit of
a trademark item would make you a common criminal. Oh
are you being honest? If so, cancel the auction, relist
the common beanies, and send the rest for authenticication. It
(36:37):
would be well worth it financially and would make you honest, Tasha,
how'd that go over? Well, let's find out. Well, Tasha,
I don't care. I told everybody in to begin and
everything I know and don't know about these stupid animals.
I have an idea of all people that are so
worried about this, don't bid. I don't care. I'm so
(37:01):
upset to this clown of a woman figured out my
super plan to scam millions from the unknowing beanie world.
I figured I would retire from this ruse. What adult
she is. I've blocked her from my bitter list. That
way she can cry about it. Some people are unreal
good a life.
Speaker 3 (37:22):
Man, You know, if you could type, you could be
right in.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
There with you the auction is actually over. Daunton is over.
The winning bid eight hundred and sixty dollars. Wow, that
will buy some nice tool. Congratulations all that heartache, because
all right, I'm amazed people pay more than a bucket
peace for them myself and I bet we have ten
thousand of them, right, My wife has everyone. Let's put
(37:46):
him on eBay and before you get on lippy, your
wife has every one of them, and that's my damail.
Let's not forget the description your middle boy tellers and
see at least house I have one collection of them.
You have too, because your wife collected them. And your
middle boy where are they? I ain't seen him in
(38:07):
the years. I was hot about it, then I'm hot
about it.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Sending the dog up, That's why I do it at
my house. He'll come down with one in his mouth
and go, how much does that cost me?
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Here's the idea. Let's go through all that stuff. It
was gonna make a lot of money. Yeah, how about
been Pokemon guards? And I had to hear the joke.
For goodness, where's this guy? I believe? I want to
know where we're going.
Speaker 13 (38:30):
Like, I'm all with big boxes here, all your favorites
from four decades of The Big Show ninety nine since
each fifteen for nine ninety nine.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
Buy them once, play them anywhere. You can shop the
Big Box online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Enemy dot Com.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
You can hear it all the John Boy Middle Late
Risers podcast up next. A little for wherever you get
your pods ass make it easy. Subscribe to us with
the free I Heard Radio out see Tomorrow. We love you,
We made it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics
Two Guys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers). Five Rings (you know, from the Olympics logo). One essential podcast for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics. Bowen Yang (SNL, Wicked) and Matt Rogers (Palm Royale, No Good Deed) of Las Culturistas are back for a second season of Two Guys, Five Rings, a collaboration with NBC Sports and iHeartRadio. In this 15-episode event, Bowen and Matt discuss the top storylines, obsess over Italian culture, and find out what really goes on in the Olympic Village.