April 15, 2025 • 39 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, John Boy shares TMI about being able to fly in his dreams.. - A listener writes in about a Squirrel-cicle.. - The Battle of the ‘mater plants is on.. - We’ll take a drive down the Motor-Mile and stop off at Ozzy Osbourne's Toyota dealership.. - Mater-Girl makes an appearance.. - Some Doctors share some embarrassing stories about past patients.. - Ike Turner offers advise on how to get a woman.. - Poor Ed in Alabama is retraumatized by his encounter with an emu.. - and we'll wrap up with a quick exploration of Elvis Presley, Junior?…
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ah No, here we go. You know what I'm thinking, Jackie, Hey,
Pillar's picked the wrong week to go on vacation. Pillars
is out in LA working on his movie projects, and
then Walks Kelly made her girl twenty five years old, singing, dancing, talented.
Why can't we hire baby dolls? All we get his goobs? Oh? Man?
(00:25):
All right, Kelly, I think we can get along. All right?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Now another reason for me the lover. Listen to this
Kelly as Bullwinkle a poem. I can't be serious. He's
holding her hands in her weirds up like, can you
be serious? Rash you do? Bullwink? Hello, Billy, She's a
(00:50):
serious actress. Splitter splitter on the woe? Have you not
a brain of tub? Can't you see? He will? It's
been plastered, can't you see you? Stupid spider? Right? I
(01:13):
wonder if Pillars is filling a disturbance in the forest.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
That he's doing an audition just like that?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
That right there, Folks is challenged. Righty, hang out with us,
right now, let's do that cern Evince quiz thing told
you about to big old prize package? Bentley, what are
we dealing with?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
While coming early next year, we got a brand new
cable network about the premiere, and we'll have a special preview.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
All right, Dan, you're toevery line one eight hundred, big
show be calling on. Take see and when good Morning
(02:06):
is a big show on the radio? Went around the
bottom of the album. Okay, come.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Wis's time quiz.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
They remind me to tell Elliott about that Pamela out
of Georgia. It wants to marry him.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
All right, go still on the market. Oh yeah, for
all this time, I can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Rick from Edon, North Carolina. You call nine Hello, Rick, Hello,
John Boy, how you doing? Man? Had the boy? Yeah? Yeah,
well listen up Rex sa if you can win, buddy,
all right, move over Court TV an animal Planet coming
early next year.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
It's the Reality Channel. The co founder of the E
Entertainment Network is developing a new cable show, our cable
network rather that would feature reality TV shows twenty four
hours a day. The producers are promoting the Reality Channel
with the slogan a real shows for real people, me
(03:13):
your daily dose of reality, or.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
See eat a worm, get your own show. I'd reck
what call for your answer? How many worms you gotta eat?
We're not taking applications. I'll take three it just for kicks.
(03:37):
How many would you eat? Have you ever eaten a worm? Really? Yeah?
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
On?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
A bet? I just need it right. I'm just kidding.
I didn't really know today. This guy will know what
it feels like to be me. While hold on, Jackie,
will get your information show appreciated. All right, Hello, this
(04:05):
is Ricky B. Sharp front Hall of Amma What I'm
starting my day as the beloved fast food mascot and
pizza rutt.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
Mister tu populist tunes into John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. It ain't that he loves the show,
but it's the only thing that chases the rats out
of the No flower that of.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Them good on a Big show is on the radio. Yeah,
(05:02):
y'all keep these funnies coming. You can email us at
the Big Show dot com. You can faxes at seven
oh four five seven oh one, three sixty nine. You
can reach us about the US Postal service. John boyn
Bill A po box seventy six sixty three, Charlotte, NC
two eight two four one.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Or just handed to mater man next time you see.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
That is from Ed Barnett. That actual doctors wrote these
in embarrassing medical exams and different things. I think it's
gonna be pretty funny, all right, you ready. A man
comes into the er and yells, my wife's gonna have
her baby in the cab. I grabbed my stuff, rushed
out to the cab, lifted the ladies dress and again
(05:47):
to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there
were several cabs and I was in the wrong one.
Doctor Mark McDonald San Antonio, Texas, OH. Doctor Richard Burns, Seattle, Washington.
At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope
on an elderly and slightly deaf female Patience and terrier
(06:10):
chest wall, big breaths, I instructed, yeah, they used to be,
replied the patient. You know you can't hold down to everything.
It's abmitted by doctor Susan Steinberg. One day I had
to be the bearer of bad news when I told
a wife that her husband had died of a massive
(06:31):
my old cardial infarct. Oh. Not more than five minutes later,
I heard her reporting to the rest of the family
that he had died of a massive internal fart a.
This amitted by doctor Rebecca Saint Clair Norfolk, Virginia. During
a patient's two week follow up appointment with his cardiologists,
(06:52):
he informed me that he was having trouble with one
of his medications, which one. I asked, the patch? The
nurse told me to put on a new one every
six hours, and now I'm running out of places to
put it. I had him quickly undressed. I discovered what
I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over
fifty patches on his body. Now the instructions include removal
(07:16):
of the old patch before applying it. Submitted by doctor
Stephen Swanson the corn Ellas, Ohio. While acquainting myself with
a new elderly patient, I asked, how long have you
been bedridden? After a look of complete confusion, she answered,
why not for about twenty years when my husband was alive.
(07:41):
I get it. Admitted by doctor Leonard Cranzar. I was
caring for a woman and asked, so, how's your breakfast
this morning? It's very good, except for the Kentucky jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste, the
patient replied it. Asked to see the jelly, and the
(08:01):
woman produced a foil packet labeled k y jelly places
to put it. You had a keat angina man, you
had to point it out.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
I'll leads Japanese cars looking like them.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
This is admitted by a registered nurse no name. A
nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a
young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk,
sporting a variety of tattoos and wearing strange clothing entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis,
so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was
(08:46):
completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that
her dubic hair had been dyed green, and above it
there was a tattoo that said keep off the grass once.
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing which said sorry, had to
(09:07):
mow the lawn with all Doctor Lundboy. And finally, as
a new young MD doing his residency in ov, I
was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover
(09:29):
my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling
softly for the middle aged lady upon whom I was
performing This exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.
I looked up for my work and sheepestly said, I'm sorry.
Was I tickling you? She replied, no, doctor, for the
song you were whistling. Was I wish I was an
(09:52):
Oscar Meyer? Wiener?
Speaker 6 (10:02):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Doctor?
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Nurses keep doing one of the jobs.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
He said, Yeah, that's my name. Ain't nowhere out It's
the big show on the radio, now, man from the hood.
Let's bring him in.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Let's acts ike, don't you hang around Jackie March? You
don't more they teach you that damn sounds like milkshake?
Why are that milkshakes? Not one more time? I'm gonna
I'm gon left and kill us all. Yeah, Oh, what's up?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Welcome to axe ache for all the far one one
you need for all y'all. What you call into vitro
fertilization shimps.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Dig this mister Turner. He must be in Big Trump.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
I know people's always writing you about their relationship problems
with women's but I don't have any problems in that regard, because, frankly,
I've never been able to get into one.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
By that, I assume he talking about relationships at least
well hope, billy billy.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Every good girl I like seem to either be taken
or else they wouldn't date me if the Good Lord
himself told them too. So my question is, how can
I get me a girlfriend?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Please help?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Sign rock Bottom, White Folk, dear rock the good Lord
hisself my brother. In case you hadn't noticed, the good
Lord himself got a lot on his plately days. So
don't be all schlucked and dismain to find out to
(12:15):
get that nerve regulating, No rock Bottom of my girlfriend
might be weaged down on the divine innerventilation to do list,
but never feel my dysfunctional young crack a friend. The
doctor is in let me appreaci on it. And by
(12:36):
the way, homeskiller. I use the term crack a friend
because they ain't no way or brother could never get
his own self into a jamulation of such joy mungous propultion.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And that that that that.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
That that the rock got himself a little woman problem
or should I say a little no woman problem. Well,
don't feel like you the lone stranger, my brother.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You ain't the.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
First you shah won't be the lad y'all peak this
my man, Women is trouble. You ain't picked that up
by now. You've got bigger problems than this liter gonna
throw even our top crotch Hall of Famer like ike
hits an occasional pothole in the road, the personal and
romantical dissatisfunction. Of course, I deals with these situations with
(13:26):
a liberalationless amount of boot to boutet action on the
afromentioned skanking stein. Don't believe me, just acts teen or sometimes,
but I regret as you know, I am a kind
of a one man brain crust that gots the debility
(13:48):
to think outside the box, no pun intenderating so so
so listen, listen, listen, y'all, hey, keep it down.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Trying to help a brother.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
So dig on this what you call alternatural scene, oriole,
Maybe instead of trying to find yourself a good woman,
you need to be looking for a good man.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Hold up.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
In other words, trade a little to that straight guy
on some of that queer eye. And before you say,
who hear me, see see see the modern world is
slack filled up with current and wo be players, good
and branch all alike, millions and zillions of them.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Frankly rock the odds ain't in your flavor.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
Besides, ain't so many quality who shays to go around AnyWho?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
And you still in your rookie season. That's no good.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
But in the other hand, the playoff bracket in the
what you call homo rhetoric conference is wide over.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
See.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
That's because the talent the pool is way smaller than
your hetero sensual community. And even better for you, they
love themselves a rookie. Now do this call a big
old press circumference and announce your free agency. My brother,
you could be the Jackie Robinson of the gender blender
syst with a great story like yours. The switch buglers
(15:22):
would be all over you like white on Michael Jackson. Now,
let's face it, you and me both know a man
like you ain't fixing the polar handle on the sexual
slot machine and have it come up three cherries and
a time soon. So maybe it's time for you to
pick a different kind of fruit. If you catch my
grip and you play your card right, you might just
(15:47):
be able to parlay your new found celebrity sweetness into
a high paying gig in the field of adulters entertainment.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Uh huh.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
In other words, you could star in some of them
what you call a hard poor chornography. You already got
the perfect name for it, my brother Rock Bottle. Think
it over, baby. Look, I wouldn't steal you down no
(16:16):
dirt road unless he thought you had the potential, and
judging by your current stance, if they ain't gonna play you,
you might as well get him to trade you. My brother,
I didn't feel this this letter was appropriate for any
y Enya sausage joke.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
So this is piece you want to exyc mail ex
like John Boy and Billy and p O Box one
nine one one one Charlotte and C two eight two
one nine Money Powell. When I'm driving the bus in
the morning, I always get the troublemakers. But I figured
(16:55):
out how to get rid of them. I crank up
the ball. You'm on the Big Show with Joe Boy
and Billy. They are a laugh riot and the crackheads
hate it.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export, well.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
As six foot tall one fifty pounds emu is that
comedian with a bowl haircut. No, that's emo, It's not
one hundred and fifty pounds. Well anyway, one hundred and
fifty pounds. Emu fed hell over heels in love. He
fed hell over hills. Wow, it's more serious than we thought.
(18:18):
He fell head over heels in love with the Alabama
man and stalked him for days. He was turned loose Thursday.
On the farm populated by her own species.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Emo got a little problem.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Ed Roberts, director of the Mobile Alabama Animal Rescue Foundations,
said it was mating season and she took a fine
liking to him.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
He had to water off of the boat piddle. She
was absolutely intent. This was her fine, he kept saying.
Speaker 8 (18:47):
Lay.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
The giant bird showed up at the home of Ed
and Anne Stuarti last month, drinking from a bird bath
and eating berries in their yard, fedet dog food. Last week,
the emu began following Ed around. Then it became aggressive,
(19:13):
chasing their cast from Ed tried to frighten a bird
away by shooting his gun into the air, and the
em you just stood there looking at him forlornly.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
I know how lone you are.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Cried because of how lone You're never.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Going to be alone again in Alabama. By Monday, the
emu was making noises deep in its throat I'm so drunk.
It was a mating call, and Ed failed to recognize
as the bird approached him. I can't want to put
(19:57):
on so Ed it is shorter than the bird, so
he had to hold it all with a boat paddle.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
So Monday and Tuesday night, the Stuartes coward inside their
home and STUARTI called the sheriff to beg for help,
but was told deputies didn't have the equipment to catch
the EMU oh man. So they were cowered in the house.
(20:28):
EMU candy gram oh man. Anyway, the rescue team came
and they finally persuaded the bird to get into a
horse trailer so it could be taken to a farm.
So to get over her broken heart, how would you
(20:49):
like to be?
Speaker 6 (20:50):
Ed?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Oh boy? Going to work tonight? He overbore. I was
going there, doctor, give me, I'll get a couple of coffee.
Oh man. Yeah. And one of the chances that they're
listening to the Big Show right now, let's go down
(21:11):
yeah yeah, yeah, alrighty well uh and if if you
ever want to talk to somebody about we're here for you.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
And here's here's a good quote from the director of
the Animal Rescue foundation, she says, and I quote, Hopefully
she'll meet another feller and forget all about mister Stuardy,
After all, he is a married man.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Thanks John Boy and Billy much for a corner hole.
But good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning, the big
show is on the radio. All right. On second thought,
you better keep the baby dolls out of here while
I'm playing, because that was as my downfall in school.
I couldn't concentrate on my studies. Well, I'm with you.
(21:53):
They need to stay out of students. Bring in the
sub it's in your best interest. Yeah right, okay, let's
say we got going here. We don't have pretty girls
in here, mar.
Speaker 9 (22:08):
I don't want to point anything out.
Speaker 8 (22:11):
All right.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Then now we're ready for calling number nine and stupid
quiz time one eight hundred. Big show we'll play next.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Now, Johnny, I got it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
You go ahead. Good morning, a big shows on the radio.
You hadning? Have you seen Junior is great and Marcy
(23:00):
in class this morning? Morning?
Speaker 9 (23:01):
My see, good morning.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I made a I made a slip, said I don't
need a baby dolls in here that distract me. Marsha
little telling you like family. I know, told me you
might lose is what she said.
Speaker 9 (23:20):
I'm the one that always had the good looking friends
invited to bring them.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I wish I could say to so, so you still
have these good looking friends? Could be Oh, don't worry,
Ray to go high. We can't get no good looking
in turns. Yeah, all we get is a good ray
from Charlotte, North Carolina's collar down? Hello, Ray, Hey, how
you doing man? I'm doing just how are you doing good?
(23:47):
Doing good? All right, I got my bell touch the
number on your touched on phone. That's where you chime
in first one to get three riding winds. All right,
there we go.
Speaker 9 (23:58):
Go to science.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
CLASSDA science class, spreadom science Skoda, okay, scota science class, Johnny,
I got you. Go ahead, Multiple choice, I'm not doing choice.
Speaker 9 (24:16):
Which of these is the term used for someone who
studies prehistoric plants and animals? Is it a archaeologist? Be paleontologist?
See anthropologist?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Oh yeah, right, yes, so it is a paleontology Okay,
all right, one to nothing.
Speaker 9 (24:39):
Right, you're up, Math class. How many equal sides are
there in an Isosceles triangle?
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Isles? Yes? Is it a two B three two? Bright? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (25:00):
Alright?
Speaker 9 (25:01):
One to one us and world history. Multiple choice, multiple
Who killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel? Was it a
John Adams? B Aaron Burr? See Benjamin Franklin?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Aaron Burr was Verry Mason? That's Raymond burd Alright, I'm
gonna go with Aaron. Correct it was oh Man, that
was a trick question. No, it wasn't. Two to one. Right,
(25:36):
you're up, homie. Let's go to home economics. All right,
here you go, home economics.
Speaker 9 (25:43):
What famous American product product used the slogan? Taste them
again for the first time.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Taste them again for the first first time, Home economics.
Taste them again for the first time. Cracker Jacks. No,
what do you think? Right? I don't know. I'm having
to go with apple Jack. No, I was on the
(26:14):
right track. Cereal frosty flag, corn flag? No, yes, corn
flas it corn? Don't you remember it is the love eight?
Two to one?
Speaker 9 (26:26):
Science? Sie, what will turn blue litmus paper red? Is
it a alkaline solutions B high p H factors or
c acids?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Right?
Speaker 9 (26:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Alkaline alkalne Is this this is what they use for
those pregnancy tests? No, no, it's not what they used
unless you're having some demon baby. So what would a
demon baby be made? That their iph? I p h
I think I P eight. Everybody knows demon babies are
(27:10):
made out of accid. It was high. Ohhh, okay, that
could have been a factor. Throw it out right to
one still right, go to English English.
Speaker 9 (27:27):
Identify the verb in this sentence. In nineteen sixty eight,
he flew into Vietnam.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Flew right, yeah, alright, all tied of reserve two.
Speaker 9 (27:40):
Okay, math class.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Didn't go to geography all that time?
Speaker 8 (27:45):
Right, I'm oh boy, geography class, geography, okay, geography, geography.
Speaker 9 (27:56):
Baby dolls would have done?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
What is this?
Speaker 9 (28:00):
What city is the capital of Japan?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Capital of Japan is Okay, Tokyo? You've been there? Yes, yes,
all right, that's only what I can think of. Now, Ray,
this is where you go. That was your time? And
then we say you didn't get it? Al ray, how
about you? Man? Yes you did. I'm gonna make you
(28:29):
happy here, all right. The heartiest people would want you
to have a Hearty's double Chili cheese burger prize bag.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
All right, that is quite true, John boy Well said,
and a free home pregnancy test.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
You might be the father of a demon. Good morning,
the Big Shows on the radio for this Tuesday morning,
April the fifteenth is tax Day. Oh now, how many
listeners are going, Oh, you know there's somebody I know something.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
Out care and look, look I gotta find out.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Right I can. Next my request that classic bit of
the morning, old bud mine officer Thigy with his reapplication
to get back in the entourage. All right, that's coming
up next. Good morning, got a big show on the radio. Yeah,
(29:45):
we love to hear from you all, longtime Big Show listeners.
Hang email anybody but me or anybody at the Big
Show dot Com. Your classic bit of the morning. All right, ooh, summertime.
We're thinking about the beach. My buddy, Officer Thigy out
of the beach, of course. Think he hadn't been around
lately because he got a girlfriend. That's where he's been
(30:07):
all win or now here was summer coming up? You know,
I was kind of bummed out about that, but then
I heard that they may have broken up. Matter of fact,
I heard it right here on the Big Show when
Oliver was in Randy where you played at clip please.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
And Officer Thigybear finally pulled a hoodini from that old
schizophrenic ball and chain and his back on beach patrol.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I was wondering is it true? And then in the
mail of course Jackie is in charge of the mail
here when he comes to personal stuff with me. And
this started right after the ANTHRAXK No, there had nothing
to do with it. It was okay, it's just a
timing around here. Maybe, So Jackie, what is ahead of that?
(30:50):
What is it called? Application for the entourage?
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Application for John Boys entourage?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
So this is from Thiggy so uh well, let's well,
let's hear it Jaggie.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
At the top, it says application for John Boy's entourage.
Prince your name, he's Byron H. Stigpen quote unquote Ron
any given alias names. He's put Thiggy, Thiggy Bear, and stupid.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Have you ever applied?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Have you ever applied for this position before?
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
If yes, please give approximate date eight ninety eight. Were
you ever previously accepted to the entourage?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Note if you were ever a member of the entourage
and you were one yelled at by Randy two, John
Boy would not return your phone calls. Please do not
continue to fill out or submit this application. Reasons for
separation from the entourage. Thiggy has put, I was not
thinking and got serious.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
With a girl.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
I know I broke a major rule as outlined in
the Entourage handbook, and for this I am sorry. Please
list reasons you feel that you could be an asset
to John boys entourage. He's put good driving, history, enjoy
staying out all hours of the night, loves to travel,
(32:16):
enjoy's service, work, easily humored and entertainment, and I'm good
with math.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Do you object to being on call? No?
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Do you object to being called names or being the
object of public humiliation?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
No?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Are you currently engaged or married? No? Does the thought
of being single or divorce bother you?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
He put No.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
If you answered yes to any of the above questions,
do not submit this application. Please understand. He says that
being a part of the Loser entourage is very demanding
and an important responsibility. You will be responsible for John
boys transportation, his arrival to his job on time, getting
him home at night at a decent hour, walking and
feeding any of his numerous pets, taking him to the airport,
(33:21):
loading him onto the airplane, and most importantly, making sure
that when the plane takes off, he is still on
the airplane. Especially if that plane is delivering him back
to a work environment.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Other duties of.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
The entourage member may include boat captain, toilet paper restocker,
twenty four hour on call taxi service, and above all, remember.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Your day is not done until.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
John Boy is a slinky.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
That is so true.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Any resistance to any task could result in immediate termination
and from the entourage. If separation from the entourage does occur,
These are some of the exciting.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Jobs you may qualify for.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Car salesman, beer management, bar owner, medical retirement does not.
Nascar spotter and Hall are fed boy and football coach.
(34:32):
If this sounds like the job for you, please sign
your full name below, which he has. Responses from the
Entourage review board usually takes.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Between four and six weeks. I think you need to
call him and inform him of denial on.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
The air if you don't want him, I dude, good
job there Byron.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yeah, well that's just a good morning, this big show
(35:32):
on the radio. Here, just a few more minutes, better
wrap this broadcast. Next up John Bonmillia's Late Risers podcast.
Can't get wherever you get your podcast every weekday after
the big show. And to post that bad boy up,
we got to set up for you at the Big
Show dot com when you make your daily visit, when
(35:53):
you get on from work and hit an entire big show.
They was talking earlier list I'm Marie was his daughter Lisa,
who want to ask what funny you forgot Presley? Yes,
(36:14):
I don't know. I'll start thinking in the middle of that.
I guess I jumped off on Priscilla Presley too. Yeah,
all right, well this is what I was thinking about.
Alleged celebrity son Elvis Presley Junior. Now we kind of
kind of hit on him a little bit when we
were talking about Elvis's kids, because he's the one that
(36:35):
claims to be the son of Elvis. There's several contradictory
versions of his story. Nevertheless, he claims a federal court
awarded him his name legally after sufficient documents and sworn
testimonies represented to a judge. Among the evidence allegedly presented
where Elvis's last will and testament, a paternal DNA test
(36:58):
and documents proven that Elvis did indeed have a son
and the son was in fact born out of wedlock.
So he proved all that to a judge, but still
not believe in them.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
See The thing for me is the first place I
heard about it was on this show.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Yeah, right away. Yeah, well, how do you know our
entertainment reporter didn't do well? Well? I think I think
the part of the story that you should draw suspicion
is where it says he claims a federal court awarded him. Uh.
He he claims to be the son of Elvis Preslaw. Nevertheless,
(37:38):
he claims, Ah, he does. He's claiming that too. Yeah,
we can claim anythay. He became pros like the guy
at the copy machine. Yeah, I went to court and
the federal court. Yeah. My driver's license Elvis Presley Junior.
Did you know Elvis is misspelled? Sir d MV. My
(38:01):
name is Elvis? What's that last? You should never try that, Okay,
I'm not going to Yeah, Oh, you're making my head hurt. Men,
I should pay more attention to tator tail. You're doing fine.
Speaker 9 (38:13):
No, this is what it sounds like around the water coolers.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
We're just chatting.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Thank you, Marshall. All right, we'll keep up the good work.
I'll thank you, okay, and Billy, let's hang it on
yes bed box.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
This year all your favorites from forty years at the
Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine.
That should have been favorites, not just favorites unless you
want have what.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Oh my Lord buy all bucks play him anywhere. Find
your faves at the Big Show dot com. See that's
what it's Eve been working with maybe forty three years.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Jo Marley other sweet Tea and regular lemonade Strawberry and
watermelon lemonade flavors now at food line.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Are your favorite store?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Order by phone eight hundred four to seven one Stuff
online services by animink dot com.
Speaker 9 (38:51):
There you go, all right, he gets bad when others
do it, but when he does it's podcast next, We
Love You, We made it and
Ah No, here we go. You know what I'm thinking, Jackie, Hey,
Pillar's picked the wrong week to go on vacation. Pillars
is out in LA working on his movie projects, and
then Walks Kelly made her girl twenty five years old, singing, dancing, talented.
Why can't we hire baby dolls? All we get his goobs? Oh? Man?
(00:25):
All right, Kelly, I think we can get along. All right?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
I think so too.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Now another reason for me the lover. Listen to this
Kelly as Bullwinkle a poem. I can't be serious. He's
holding her hands in her weirds up like, can you
be serious? Rash you do? Bullwink? Hello, Billy, She's a
(00:50):
serious actress. Splitter splitter on the woe? Have you not
a brain of tub? Can't you see? He will? It's
been plastered, can't you see you? Stupid spider? Right? I
(01:13):
wonder if Pillars is filling a disturbance in the forest.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
That he's doing an audition just like that?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
That right there, Folks is challenged. Righty, hang out with us,
right now, let's do that cern Evince quiz thing told
you about to big old prize package? Bentley, what are
we dealing with?
Speaker 2 (01:34):
While coming early next year, we got a brand new
cable network about the premiere, and we'll have a special preview.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
All right, Dan, you're toevery line one eight hundred, big
show be calling on. Take see and when good Morning
(02:06):
is a big show on the radio? Went around the
bottom of the album. Okay, come.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Wis's time quiz.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
They remind me to tell Elliott about that Pamela out
of Georgia. It wants to marry him.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
All right, go still on the market. Oh yeah, for
all this time, I can't believe it.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Rick from Edon, North Carolina. You call nine Hello, Rick, Hello,
John Boy, how you doing? Man? Had the boy? Yeah? Yeah,
well listen up Rex sa if you can win, buddy,
all right, move over Court TV an animal Planet coming
early next year.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
It's the Reality Channel. The co founder of the E
Entertainment Network is developing a new cable show, our cable
network rather that would feature reality TV shows twenty four
hours a day. The producers are promoting the Reality Channel
with the slogan a real shows for real people, me
(03:13):
your daily dose of reality, or.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
See eat a worm, get your own show. I'd reck
what call for your answer? How many worms you gotta eat?
We're not taking applications. I'll take three it just for kicks.
(03:37):
How many would you eat? Have you ever eaten a worm? Really? Yeah?
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
On?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
A bet? I just need it right. I'm just kidding.
I didn't really know today. This guy will know what
it feels like to be me. While hold on, Jackie,
will get your information show appreciated. All right, Hello, this
(04:05):
is Ricky B. Sharp front Hall of Amma What I'm
starting my day as the beloved fast food mascot and
pizza rutt.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
Mister tu populist tunes into John Boy and Billy on
the Big Show. It ain't that he loves the show,
but it's the only thing that chases the rats out
of the No flower that of.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Them good on a Big show is on the radio. Yeah,
(05:02):
y'all keep these funnies coming. You can email us at
the Big Show dot com. You can faxes at seven
oh four five seven oh one, three sixty nine. You
can reach us about the US Postal service. John boyn
Bill A po box seventy six sixty three, Charlotte, NC
two eight two four one.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Or just handed to mater man next time you see.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
That is from Ed Barnett. That actual doctors wrote these
in embarrassing medical exams and different things. I think it's
gonna be pretty funny, all right, you ready. A man
comes into the er and yells, my wife's gonna have
her baby in the cab. I grabbed my stuff, rushed
out to the cab, lifted the ladies dress and again
(05:47):
to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there
were several cabs and I was in the wrong one.
Doctor Mark McDonald San Antonio, Texas, OH. Doctor Richard Burns, Seattle, Washington.
At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope
on an elderly and slightly deaf female Patience and terrier
(06:10):
chest wall, big breaths, I instructed, yeah, they used to be,
replied the patient. You know you can't hold down to everything.
It's abmitted by doctor Susan Steinberg. One day I had
to be the bearer of bad news when I told
a wife that her husband had died of a massive
(06:31):
my old cardial infarct. Oh. Not more than five minutes later,
I heard her reporting to the rest of the family
that he had died of a massive internal fart a.
This amitted by doctor Rebecca Saint Clair Norfolk, Virginia. During
a patient's two week follow up appointment with his cardiologists,
(06:52):
he informed me that he was having trouble with one
of his medications, which one. I asked, the patch? The
nurse told me to put on a new one every
six hours, and now I'm running out of places to
put it. I had him quickly undressed. I discovered what
I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over
fifty patches on his body. Now the instructions include removal
(07:16):
of the old patch before applying it. Submitted by doctor
Stephen Swanson the corn Ellas, Ohio. While acquainting myself with
a new elderly patient, I asked, how long have you
been bedridden? After a look of complete confusion, she answered,
why not for about twenty years when my husband was alive.
(07:41):
I get it. Admitted by doctor Leonard Cranzar. I was
caring for a woman and asked, so, how's your breakfast
this morning? It's very good, except for the Kentucky jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste, the
patient replied it. Asked to see the jelly, and the
(08:01):
woman produced a foil packet labeled k y jelly places
to put it. You had a keat angina man, you
had to point it out.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
I'll leads Japanese cars looking like them.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
This is admitted by a registered nurse no name. A
nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a
young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk,
sporting a variety of tattoos and wearing strange clothing entered.
It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis,
so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was
(08:46):
completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that
her dubic hair had been dyed green, and above it
there was a tattoo that said keep off the grass once.
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing which said sorry, had to
(09:07):
mow the lawn with all Doctor Lundboy. And finally, as
a new young MD doing his residency in ov, I
was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover
(09:29):
my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling
softly for the middle aged lady upon whom I was
performing This exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.
I looked up for my work and sheepestly said, I'm sorry.
Was I tickling you? She replied, no, doctor, for the
song you were whistling. Was I wish I was an
(09:52):
Oscar Meyer? Wiener?
Speaker 6 (10:02):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Doctor?
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Nurses keep doing one of the jobs.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
He said, Yeah, that's my name. Ain't nowhere out It's
the big show on the radio, now, man from the hood.
Let's bring him in.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Let's acts ike, don't you hang around Jackie March? You
don't more they teach you that damn sounds like milkshake?
Why are that milkshakes? Not one more time? I'm gonna
I'm gon left and kill us all. Yeah, Oh, what's up?
Speaker 5 (11:03):
Welcome to axe ache for all the far one one
you need for all y'all. What you call into vitro
fertilization shimps.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Dig this mister Turner. He must be in Big Trump.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
I know people's always writing you about their relationship problems
with women's but I don't have any problems in that regard, because, frankly,
I've never been able to get into one.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
By that, I assume he talking about relationships at least
well hope, billy billy.
Speaker 5 (11:38):
Every good girl I like seem to either be taken
or else they wouldn't date me if the Good Lord
himself told them too. So my question is, how can
I get me a girlfriend?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Please help?
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Sign rock Bottom, White Folk, dear rock the good Lord
hisself my brother. In case you hadn't noticed, the good
Lord himself got a lot on his plately days. So
don't be all schlucked and dismain to find out to
(12:15):
get that nerve regulating, No rock Bottom of my girlfriend
might be weaged down on the divine innerventilation to do list,
but never feel my dysfunctional young crack a friend. The
doctor is in let me appreaci on it. And by
(12:36):
the way, homeskiller. I use the term crack a friend
because they ain't no way or brother could never get
his own self into a jamulation of such joy mungous propultion.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And that that that that.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
That that the rock got himself a little woman problem
or should I say a little no woman problem. Well,
don't feel like you the lone stranger, my brother.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You ain't the.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
First you shah won't be the lad y'all peak this
my man, Women is trouble. You ain't picked that up
by now. You've got bigger problems than this liter gonna
throw even our top crotch Hall of Famer like ike
hits an occasional pothole in the road, the personal and
romantical dissatisfunction. Of course, I deals with these situations with
(13:26):
a liberalationless amount of boot to boutet action on the
afromentioned skanking stein. Don't believe me, just acts teen or sometimes,
but I regret as you know, I am a kind
of a one man brain crust that gots the debility
(13:48):
to think outside the box, no pun intenderating so so
so listen, listen, listen, y'all, hey, keep it down.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Trying to help a brother.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
So dig on this what you call alternatural scene, oriole,
Maybe instead of trying to find yourself a good woman,
you need to be looking for a good man.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Hold up.
Speaker 5 (14:16):
In other words, trade a little to that straight guy
on some of that queer eye. And before you say,
who hear me, see see see the modern world is
slack filled up with current and wo be players, good
and branch all alike, millions and zillions of them.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Frankly rock the odds ain't in your flavor.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
Besides, ain't so many quality who shays to go around AnyWho?
Speaker 1 (14:45):
And you still in your rookie season. That's no good.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
But in the other hand, the playoff bracket in the
what you call homo rhetoric conference is wide over.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
See.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
That's because the talent the pool is way smaller than
your hetero sensual community. And even better for you, they
love themselves a rookie. Now do this call a big
old press circumference and announce your free agency. My brother,
you could be the Jackie Robinson of the gender blender
syst with a great story like yours. The switch buglers
(15:22):
would be all over you like white on Michael Jackson. Now,
let's face it, you and me both know a man
like you ain't fixing the polar handle on the sexual
slot machine and have it come up three cherries and
a time soon. So maybe it's time for you to
pick a different kind of fruit. If you catch my
grip and you play your card right, you might just
(15:47):
be able to parlay your new found celebrity sweetness into
a high paying gig in the field of adulters entertainment.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Uh huh.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
In other words, you could star in some of them
what you call a hard poor chornography. You already got
the perfect name for it, my brother Rock Bottle. Think
it over, baby. Look, I wouldn't steal you down no
(16:16):
dirt road unless he thought you had the potential, and
judging by your current stance, if they ain't gonna play you,
you might as well get him to trade you. My brother,
I didn't feel this this letter was appropriate for any
y Enya sausage joke.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
So this is piece you want to exyc mail ex
like John Boy and Billy and p O Box one
nine one one one Charlotte and C two eight two
one nine Money Powell. When I'm driving the bus in
the morning, I always get the troublemakers. But I figured
(16:55):
out how to get rid of them. I crank up
the ball. You'm on the Big Show with Joe Boy
and Billy. They are a laugh riot and the crackheads
hate it.
Speaker 6 (17:42):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export, well.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
As six foot tall one fifty pounds emu is that
comedian with a bowl haircut. No, that's emo, It's not
one hundred and fifty pounds. Well anyway, one hundred and
fifty pounds. Emu fed hell over heels in love. He
fed hell over hills. Wow, it's more serious than we thought.
(18:18):
He fell head over heels in love with the Alabama
man and stalked him for days. He was turned loose Thursday.
On the farm populated by her own species.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Emo got a little problem.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Ed Roberts, director of the Mobile Alabama Animal Rescue Foundations,
said it was mating season and she took a fine
liking to him.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
He had to water off of the boat piddle. She
was absolutely intent. This was her fine, he kept saying.
Speaker 8 (18:47):
Lay.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
The giant bird showed up at the home of Ed
and Anne Stuarti last month, drinking from a bird bath
and eating berries in their yard, fedet dog food. Last week,
the emu began following Ed around. Then it became aggressive,
(19:13):
chasing their cast from Ed tried to frighten a bird
away by shooting his gun into the air, and the
em you just stood there looking at him forlornly.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
I know how lone you are.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Cried because of how lone You're never.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Going to be alone again in Alabama. By Monday, the
emu was making noises deep in its throat I'm so drunk.
It was a mating call, and Ed failed to recognize
as the bird approached him. I can't want to put
(19:57):
on so Ed it is shorter than the bird, so
he had to hold it all with a boat paddle.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Ah.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
So Monday and Tuesday night, the Stuartes coward inside their
home and STUARTI called the sheriff to beg for help,
but was told deputies didn't have the equipment to catch
the EMU oh man. So they were cowered in the house.
(20:28):
EMU candy gram oh man. Anyway, the rescue team came
and they finally persuaded the bird to get into a
horse trailer so it could be taken to a farm.
So to get over her broken heart, how would you
(20:49):
like to be?
Speaker 6 (20:50):
Ed?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Oh boy? Going to work tonight? He overbore. I was
going there, doctor, give me, I'll get a couple of coffee.
Oh man. Yeah. And one of the chances that they're
listening to the Big Show right now, let's go down
(21:11):
yeah yeah, yeah, alrighty well uh and if if you
ever want to talk to somebody about we're here for you.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
And here's here's a good quote from the director of
the Animal Rescue foundation, she says, and I quote, Hopefully
she'll meet another feller and forget all about mister Stuardy,
After all, he is a married man.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Thanks John Boy and Billy much for a corner hole.
But good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning, the big
show is on the radio. All right. On second thought,
you better keep the baby dolls out of here while
I'm playing, because that was as my downfall in school.
I couldn't concentrate on my studies. Well, I'm with you.
(21:53):
They need to stay out of students. Bring in the
sub it's in your best interest. Yeah right, okay, let's
say we got going here. We don't have pretty girls
in here, mar.
Speaker 9 (22:08):
I don't want to point anything out.
Speaker 8 (22:11):
All right.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Then now we're ready for calling number nine and stupid
quiz time one eight hundred. Big show we'll play next.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Now, Johnny, I got it.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
You go ahead. Good morning, a big shows on the radio.
You hadning? Have you seen Junior is great and Marcy
(23:00):
in class this morning? Morning?
Speaker 9 (23:01):
My see, good morning.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I made a I made a slip, said I don't
need a baby dolls in here that distract me. Marsha
little telling you like family. I know, told me you
might lose is what she said.
Speaker 9 (23:20):
I'm the one that always had the good looking friends
invited to bring them.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I wish I could say to so, so you still
have these good looking friends? Could be Oh, don't worry,
Ray to go high. We can't get no good looking
in turns. Yeah, all we get is a good ray
from Charlotte, North Carolina's collar down? Hello, Ray, Hey, how
you doing man? I'm doing just how are you doing good?
(23:47):
Doing good? All right, I got my bell touch the
number on your touched on phone. That's where you chime
in first one to get three riding winds. All right,
there we go.
Speaker 9 (23:58):
Go to science.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
CLASSDA science class, spreadom science Skoda, okay, scota science class, Johnny,
I got you. Go ahead, Multiple choice, I'm not doing choice.
Speaker 9 (24:16):
Which of these is the term used for someone who
studies prehistoric plants and animals? Is it a archaeologist? Be paleontologist?
See anthropologist?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Oh yeah, right, yes, so it is a paleontology Okay,
all right, one to nothing.
Speaker 9 (24:39):
Right, you're up, Math class. How many equal sides are
there in an Isosceles triangle?
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Isles? Yes? Is it a two B three two? Bright? Yeah?
Speaker 7 (25:00):
Alright?
Speaker 9 (25:01):
One to one us and world history. Multiple choice, multiple
Who killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel? Was it a
John Adams? B Aaron Burr? See Benjamin Franklin?
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Aaron Burr was Verry Mason? That's Raymond burd Alright, I'm
gonna go with Aaron. Correct it was oh Man, that
was a trick question. No, it wasn't. Two to one. Right,
(25:36):
you're up, homie. Let's go to home economics. All right,
here you go, home economics.
Speaker 9 (25:43):
What famous American product product used the slogan? Taste them
again for the first time.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Taste them again for the first first time, Home economics.
Taste them again for the first time. Cracker Jacks. No,
what do you think? Right? I don't know. I'm having
to go with apple Jack. No, I was on the
(26:14):
right track. Cereal frosty flag, corn flag? No, yes, corn
flas it corn? Don't you remember it is the love eight?
Two to one?
Speaker 9 (26:26):
Science? Sie, what will turn blue litmus paper red? Is
it a alkaline solutions B high p H factors or
c acids?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Right?
Speaker 9 (26:44):
No?
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Alkaline alkalne Is this this is what they use for
those pregnancy tests? No, no, it's not what they used
unless you're having some demon baby. So what would a
demon baby be made? That their iph? I p h
I think I P eight. Everybody knows demon babies are
(27:10):
made out of accid. It was high. Ohhh, okay, that
could have been a factor. Throw it out right to
one still right, go to English English.
Speaker 9 (27:27):
Identify the verb in this sentence. In nineteen sixty eight,
he flew into Vietnam.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Flew right, yeah, alright, all tied of reserve two.
Speaker 9 (27:40):
Okay, math class.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Didn't go to geography all that time?
Speaker 8 (27:45):
Right, I'm oh boy, geography class, geography, okay, geography, geography.
Speaker 9 (27:56):
Baby dolls would have done?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
What is this?
Speaker 9 (28:00):
What city is the capital of Japan?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Capital of Japan is Okay, Tokyo? You've been there? Yes, yes,
all right, that's only what I can think of. Now, Ray,
this is where you go. That was your time? And
then we say you didn't get it? Al ray, how
about you? Man? Yes you did. I'm gonna make you
(28:29):
happy here, all right. The heartiest people would want you
to have a Hearty's double Chili cheese burger prize bag.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
All right, that is quite true, John boy Well said,
and a free home pregnancy test.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
You might be the father of a demon. Good morning,
the Big Shows on the radio for this Tuesday morning,
April the fifteenth is tax Day. Oh now, how many
listeners are going, Oh, you know there's somebody I know something.
Speaker 5 (29:00):
Out care and look, look I gotta find out.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Right I can. Next my request that classic bit of
the morning, old bud mine officer Thigy with his reapplication
to get back in the entourage. All right, that's coming
up next. Good morning, got a big show on the radio. Yeah,
(29:45):
we love to hear from you all, longtime Big Show listeners.
Hang email anybody but me or anybody at the Big
Show dot Com. Your classic bit of the morning. All right, ooh, summertime.
We're thinking about the beach. My buddy, Officer Thigy out
of the beach, of course. Think he hadn't been around
lately because he got a girlfriend. That's where he's been
(30:07):
all win or now here was summer coming up? You know,
I was kind of bummed out about that, but then
I heard that they may have broken up. Matter of fact,
I heard it right here on the Big Show when
Oliver was in Randy where you played at clip please.
Speaker 5 (30:17):
And Officer Thigybear finally pulled a hoodini from that old
schizophrenic ball and chain and his back on beach patrol.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
I was wondering is it true? And then in the
mail of course Jackie is in charge of the mail
here when he comes to personal stuff with me. And
this started right after the ANTHRAXK No, there had nothing
to do with it. It was okay, it's just a
timing around here. Maybe, So Jackie, what is ahead of that?
(30:50):
What is it called? Application for the entourage?
Speaker 3 (30:53):
Application for John Boys entourage?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
So this is from Thiggy so uh well, let's well,
let's hear it Jaggie.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
At the top, it says application for John Boy's entourage.
Prince your name, he's Byron H. Stigpen quote unquote Ron
any given alias names. He's put Thiggy, Thiggy Bear, and stupid.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Have you ever applied?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Have you ever applied for this position before?
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (31:24):
If yes, please give approximate date eight ninety eight. Were
you ever previously accepted to the entourage?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (31:31):
Note if you were ever a member of the entourage
and you were one yelled at by Randy two, John
Boy would not return your phone calls. Please do not
continue to fill out or submit this application. Reasons for
separation from the entourage. Thiggy has put, I was not
thinking and got serious.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
With a girl.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
I know I broke a major rule as outlined in
the Entourage handbook, and for this I am sorry. Please
list reasons you feel that you could be an asset
to John boys entourage. He's put good driving, history, enjoy
staying out all hours of the night, loves to travel,
(32:16):
enjoy's service, work, easily humored and entertainment, and I'm good
with math.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Do you object to being on call? No?
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Do you object to being called names or being the
object of public humiliation?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
No?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
Are you currently engaged or married? No? Does the thought
of being single or divorce bother you?
Speaker 1 (32:52):
He put No.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
If you answered yes to any of the above questions,
do not submit this application. Please understand. He says that
being a part of the Loser entourage is very demanding
and an important responsibility. You will be responsible for John
boys transportation, his arrival to his job on time, getting
him home at night at a decent hour, walking and
feeding any of his numerous pets, taking him to the airport,
(33:21):
loading him onto the airplane, and most importantly, making sure
that when the plane takes off, he is still on
the airplane. Especially if that plane is delivering him back
to a work environment.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
Other duties of.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
The entourage member may include boat captain, toilet paper restocker,
twenty four hour on call taxi service, and above all, remember.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Your day is not done until.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
John Boy is a slinky.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
That is so true.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Any resistance to any task could result in immediate termination
and from the entourage. If separation from the entourage does occur,
These are some of the exciting.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Jobs you may qualify for.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Car salesman, beer management, bar owner, medical retirement does not.
Nascar spotter and Hall are fed boy and football coach.
(34:32):
If this sounds like the job for you, please sign
your full name below, which he has. Responses from the
Entourage review board usually takes.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Between four and six weeks. I think you need to
call him and inform him of denial on.
Speaker 3 (34:51):
The air if you don't want him, I dude, good
job there Byron.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Yeah, well that's just a good morning, this big show
(35:32):
on the radio. Here, just a few more minutes, better
wrap this broadcast. Next up John Bonmillia's Late Risers podcast.
Can't get wherever you get your podcast every weekday after
the big show. And to post that bad boy up,
we got to set up for you at the Big
Show dot com when you make your daily visit, when
(35:53):
you get on from work and hit an entire big show.
They was talking earlier list I'm Marie was his daughter Lisa,
who want to ask what funny you forgot Presley? Yes,
(36:14):
I don't know. I'll start thinking in the middle of that.
I guess I jumped off on Priscilla Presley too. Yeah,
all right, well this is what I was thinking about.
Alleged celebrity son Elvis Presley Junior. Now we kind of
kind of hit on him a little bit when we
were talking about Elvis's kids, because he's the one that
(36:35):
claims to be the son of Elvis. There's several contradictory
versions of his story. Nevertheless, he claims a federal court
awarded him his name legally after sufficient documents and sworn
testimonies represented to a judge. Among the evidence allegedly presented
where Elvis's last will and testament, a paternal DNA test
(36:58):
and documents proven that Elvis did indeed have a son
and the son was in fact born out of wedlock.
So he proved all that to a judge, but still
not believe in them.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
See The thing for me is the first place I
heard about it was on this show.
Speaker 1 (37:14):
Yeah, right away. Yeah, well, how do you know our
entertainment reporter didn't do well? Well? I think I think
the part of the story that you should draw suspicion
is where it says he claims a federal court awarded him. Uh.
He he claims to be the son of Elvis Preslaw. Nevertheless,
(37:38):
he claims, Ah, he does. He's claiming that too. Yeah,
we can claim anythay. He became pros like the guy
at the copy machine. Yeah, I went to court and
the federal court. Yeah. My driver's license Elvis Presley Junior.
Did you know Elvis is misspelled? Sir d MV. My
(38:01):
name is Elvis? What's that last? You should never try that, Okay,
I'm not going to Yeah, Oh, you're making my head hurt. Men,
I should pay more attention to tator tail. You're doing fine.
Speaker 9 (38:13):
No, this is what it sounds like around the water coolers.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
We're just chatting.
Speaker 1 (38:17):
Thank you, Marshall. All right, we'll keep up the good work.
I'll thank you, okay, and Billy, let's hang it on
yes bed box.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
This year all your favorites from forty years at the
Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine.
That should have been favorites, not just favorites unless you
want have what.
Speaker 1 (38:32):
Oh my Lord buy all bucks play him anywhere. Find
your faves at the Big Show dot com. See that's
what it's Eve been working with maybe forty three years.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Jo Marley other sweet Tea and regular lemonade Strawberry and
watermelon lemonade flavors now at food line.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
Are your favorite store?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Order by phone eight hundred four to seven one Stuff
online services by animink dot com.
Speaker 9 (38:51):
There you go, all right, he gets bad when others
do it, but when he does it's podcast next, We
Love You, We made it and
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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