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May 15, 2024 29 mins

Wed (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, John Boy credits his ancestors with winning the Revolutionary War.. - While we’re in the history books, we’ll discuss Alexander Dumas.. - Oliver responds to a letter from a guy who lost a Karaoke contest.. - We discover that John Boy’s truck is smarter than him.. - We report on a lesser known fugitive from justice, Florida Woman.. - we’ll finish up with a request for “The Final Pirate Joke..” - and a discussion about the times we’ve lost it in a fast food restaurant..

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What go now?

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Go now, okay, good morning, Stan Higgins.

Speaker 3 (00:05):

Speaker 4 (00:06):
Nothing makes my day like a chance to pipe in
on John Boy and Billy here in the big show.
But I don't come here just to see them. I'm
not a gay. I come here for the eye, Candy Bab's,
Jackie and theater and Thanny's got a sweet tooth.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
How is that.

Speaker 5 (00:53):

Speaker 6 (00:54):
What's a day? Sell?

Speaker 1 (00:56):
It don't matter.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
We don't there for no it does it. I've been
doing this crap long as I have. All days run together?

Speaker 1 (01:04):
All right, pillers, there you go. There's favorite John Boy.

Speaker 7 (01:07):
Enjoy it, John Boy number seven, the one who's tired
of being the light of everybody's like, what have.

Speaker 6 (01:14):
You done with?

Speaker 8 (01:15):
Doctor Jekyll?

Speaker 2 (01:17):
I told you that's popular?

Speaker 6 (01:19):
Where did I scream? I told you A's popular? What
what was that?

Speaker 8 (01:22):
It was when you were trying to find the dealership.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
When you said, look at that place. That place is hopping, man,
I hope ursus.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
They're waving at me. I told you A's popular. My
competitors are waving that's your car dealership.

Speaker 6 (01:36):
Oh well, why would not learn it?

Speaker 8 (01:39):
Will they put your picture on the side.

Speaker 7 (01:43):
Somebody pointed out to me the sign of John Boy
Nissan and rocking the Nissan logo. Looks like the logo
and everything else, but it looks like they've you know,
kind of slapped your name John Boy up there, like
it's going to be removed into place soon.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
He's a tempt Yeah, did you notice it.

Speaker 7 (01:58):
It's like, you know, stick on letters or something like that. Oh,
just throw John Way up here for a while. He's
coming tomorrow.

Speaker 6 (02:04):
He'll see it.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
Then we can put it in anything.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
No, say, we had a banner over there at first.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
That's always a good sign.

Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yeah, So it's not like as soon as you leave
town they put Casey case staying up.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Come on down to John boyd.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Now say, actually as a good I ran because it's
got temporary because we were fixing a redo the whole place.

Speaker 1 (02:25):

Speaker 7 (02:26):
I mean, oh yeah, yeah, I see you down there
with a chisel.

Speaker 6 (02:31):
And up as in them.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Hello, we ran past it.

Speaker 9 (02:36):
It's like when I use I as in y'all, yeah,
and never you as in us.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Hey, all right, all right, I feel better, thank you?

Speaker 10 (02:49):
Good wow, Oh Johnny don't.

Speaker 6 (03:04):
All right?

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Good morning everybody is a big show and it's on
your radio. It is Wednesday, May the fifteen, let's jump
on in here and give it these legs up.

Speaker 6 (03:16):
May fifteen, nineteen forty nine, Lin.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Stockings went on sale for the first time in the
United States and Wilmington, Delaware.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
That could be my favorite thing I ever seen.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
This date, nineteen forty two, gasoline rationing went into effect
in seventeen states, limiting sales to.

Speaker 6 (03:31):
Three gallons a week, more than non essential.

Speaker 7 (03:34):
Vehicles three gallons a week a week, and the cars
were not very fuel efficient at that time.

Speaker 6 (03:39):
Yeah, they had a plan where he was gonna go,
then you walked. Let's see.

Speaker 3 (03:44):
Every state was rational gas by the end of July,
and thirty five miles per hour speed limit was imposed
to save even more.

Speaker 6 (03:52):
Wow, all right.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
On this date nineteen ninety two, a dozen babies at
once by Christina Norborg girls, five boys, Nils Van Eva,
Lisap Youeter, Grid Earling, ever Bridge and Anna, Elena and Inge.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's time for Ciper.

Speaker 8 (04:10):
You bed come here, kid.

Speaker 3 (04:12):
Here on the back porch, calling her niels Man Eater,
great Earling ever bridging a.

Speaker 6 (04:20):

Speaker 8 (04:22):
If she said Norberg, you do, you're in trouble, all right.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
But as she legs up and told you about the
big old prize package. Who wants it? One eight hundred
big show. You're told free line call her nine. We'll
play next good morning to make sure us on the radio.

Speaker 8 (05:01):
Come on, Upburst, Let's play Upburst. It's the game that
anyone can win.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
John boy, duly give.

Speaker 8 (05:14):
You pleases from the big guys.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Let's go he contesting number one.

Speaker 11 (05:21):
This should really be a lot of fun to win
your playing Upburst.

Speaker 8 (05:26):
Have a hurry up and gust time that you have
the best time you level.

Speaker 6 (05:31):
Big shots.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Man Jordan shout of Ellington, Georgia in town.

Speaker 12 (05:41):
Shots Billy Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy Billy.

Speaker 6 (05:49):
Hey dayl what are you doing man?

Speaker 5 (05:52):
I'm on the road this morning, had a boy?

Speaker 6 (05:54):
Can you think and drive at the same time?

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Hell yeah, Well I'm pulled over right now though, all right,
pull over thing? Had the boy, Tim, That's what cost
me several races back during my career.

Speaker 6 (06:06):
All right, Oh first one minute, Okay, remind me, Jackie,
don't let me forget Sam. All right, all right, Tim,
here we go, buddy.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Three things that you buy by the pair, ready go
talk shoes and glasses.

Speaker 6 (06:21):
Kay, all right, Jackie.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Also an acceptation.

Speaker 6 (06:27):
That's the other thing you can buy a pair.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
No, I think Jackie might violated more of this next week.

Speaker 6 (06:32):
Let's see three things as you buy by the gallon.
You're ready go.

Speaker 5 (06:38):
Gas, cooking oil, and milk.

Speaker 3 (06:40):
Oh dam is just sitting off side that road outside
down to Georgia thinking.

Speaker 6 (06:47):
For the winds him. Three things that come by the dozen, ready.

Speaker 5 (06:52):
Go, eggs, donuts, and nails.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Give me a dozen of the three pennies up there?

Speaker 12 (07:04):
About it?

Speaker 6 (07:08):
I can't thank anything else.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
I'm sure there is something else.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
I had to come up with something.

Speaker 6 (07:13):
Dumble's a that's a twelve, but twelves a dozen, yeah,
said I'm coming.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
It doesn't it's a twelve pound it just as it
came out of his mouth.

Speaker 5 (07:22):
Yeah I did.

Speaker 6 (07:23):
But that's better than usual. Yes, all right, tell you
in buddy, all right, first time, cal all right, that's
the one that made the most out of it. Hold
on there, Tim Jackie gets information.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yo, morning, rednecks. This is your pompass of love.

Speaker 4 (07:41):
I canna enjoying the hell out of my retirement, drinking
malt liquors, eating vienies.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
And when I get to Jones in for a cracking
to go with it.

Speaker 4 (07:51):
I tuned into John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
If why I done lost my appetite for crackers?

Speaker 6 (08:30):
Good morning, A Big Show is on the radio. Heymen.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Seventeen seventy five, the first shots of the Revolutionary War
were fired in Lexington, Massachusetts. A man, so who fired
the first shots?

Speaker 6 (08:46):
It was us? It was a minute men, right, Britain's
come over there?

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Are you just making stuff up again?

Speaker 13 (08:51):

Speaker 6 (08:51):
I don't know, No, this is it? I think Bill?
Is that the right?

Speaker 3 (08:54):
Well, the American Revolution we're talking about, as opposed to
what Mexican Revolution?

Speaker 6 (09:02):
Oh, David Boy and Jim Crockett.

Speaker 8 (09:07):
David Roy is a rocksiter and Jim Crockett's a wrestling promoter.

Speaker 6 (09:11):
You know what I mean. I'll tell you what.

Speaker 8 (09:14):
Maybe Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett. Yeah, first that was
the you know in Mexico.

Speaker 6 (09:19):
So you's the one that brought it up.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
That's what he's good is that's his gift.

Speaker 8 (09:25):
I feel like I'm in an Abbott and Costello. I
don't even know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
So, yes, we fired the shots Revolutionary War shore today,
and let's remember that.

Speaker 6 (09:35):
You know how we founded this country? Huh? Want to
be free?

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Said no, we ain't gonna put up with none of
that taxes. Uh yeah, he go, here's some tea in
the harbor.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
Yeah, of course. And your jack got your ancestor is
Ethan Allen.

Speaker 6 (09:49):
You got dead rya.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
I got not that Ethan Allen, the one that did
the recliner.

Speaker 6 (09:53):
No, no, no, So y'all get to mix up with
the lazy boy deal.

Speaker 8 (09:56):
Yeah, that was on his other side of the family.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Ethan Allen. So you tellalking about somebody's got blood. How
about that?

Speaker 5 (10:02):

Speaker 1 (10:02):
I thought you were Indian.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
I got some Indian inmy hello. Ethan got around Ethan Allen,
John Allen. I mean seriously, Mama had a book and
I look through like.

Speaker 6 (10:12):
Our lineage deal.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
You know a lot of pictures.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
It was John Allen coming down. He was the one
that came over from England and Ethan Allen. Then we
go down.

Speaker 6 (10:20):
We said, hey, we want to be free. How about that.

Speaker 8 (10:23):
Here's Marty Allen, the comedian, right he get in there.

Speaker 6 (10:31):
Don't don't hate on my family.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
It's Allen funt look at that.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Okay, y'all just jealous because I got patriotic blood.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
I don't want to go fight O war.

Speaker 3 (10:51):
Shot today they won't really hear it around the world,
saying that I'll sit here and look relaxed and like
be as.

Speaker 8 (10:59):
Bait already dubbed the tea and the water.

Speaker 6 (11:05):
Enough, this is several generations.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, I will get you so anyway, all right, fine,
so happy anniversary to us America.

Speaker 6 (11:17):
It all started when he fired the first shot.

Speaker 9 (11:20):
The anniversary fourth. That's when, Yeah, well, don't get nit
picky on me now like a mad magazine. Good morning, America.
How are you? Don't you know me? I'm your patriotic son.

Speaker 6 (11:35):
All right, I'm food.

Speaker 8 (11:35):
Now we'll go on a long, strange trip.

Speaker 6 (11:38):
It's a bid good morning, a big show. It's on

the radio. Yeah, uh, let me say yeah, go.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Ahead, somebody dollar phone for me, Jack, I'm busy talking.

Speaker 5 (12:14):
Man. Hello, hey's heart all alive on a fighter band?
No man, John boy, Billy Yeah always Hey, you beg old? Hey,
no driving, nose picking knuckle dragon? He hauled looking forever?
That much? Man?

Speaker 6 (12:28):
Was he with you?

Speaker 5 (12:30):
Put that down? Don't make me go outside your head
with the paper again.

Speaker 6 (12:34):
Who's that heart?

Speaker 12 (12:35):

Speaker 6 (12:35):
Got a new house? Guess?

Speaker 5 (12:36):
No, I usually hit a house. Guess with the ash track.
That's a different new dog Junior.

Speaker 6 (12:41):
Ah a new dog, huh yeah.

Speaker 5 (12:43):
I got it from the pound. The other day one
of the coon dogs run off out of the pen.
Devil went down to Bailey Mountain. He fell in love
with this goofy looking little puppy over in the adoption pin.
You know, Devard, he's a sucker for a cute little dog.

Speaker 6 (12:58):
Yeahah, wes seen some of his girlfriend. What kind of
dog is it?

Speaker 5 (13:02):
Max breed? They said it's a half boat dog and
half shit. Sue. I hay' tell you what they call it?

Speaker 6 (13:09):
So not exactly a hunting dog.

Speaker 5 (13:11):
Huh No, he's one of them companionship breed. So far,
I believe he might be a little bit more than
half shit, Sue. If you know what I mean, you
might say that, hey, he's thinking of Steven and something.

Speaker 9 (13:27):

Speaker 5 (13:27):
Debortt hooked up with this boy named George Rogers, big
time parts distributor. We went through the body shop. He's
got him his private hunting camp in North Georgia. He
took us on a little long weekend down there. You
have a luck not a lig boy. Did have some
pretty good company. No on George, pretty gold boy. He's
funny too. If I hold on a second. I got

a piece of paper in here. I wrote some stuff down.
The other night we was having us a beer or
twelve we got the brainstorming us some gooders. Now, oh
here it is here, It is all right? What you
got based on a true story. The top ten things
you'll know here on a Georgia hunting trip. Number ten,
It wasn't the gun's fault. I just miss number nine.

Let me show you why I've seen that big block.
Number eight on Man, my truck won't never get through
that mud hole. Number seven? What stakes again? Number six? Hey,
let's ask Randy to come with us next year. Number five,
I sure miss my wife. Number four? Where's the remote?

Number three? I think somebody needs a hood. Number two?
Anybody wants the rest of my croissant? And the number
one thing you'll never hear on a Georgia hunting trip.
Oh lord, we'll never drink all this beer.

Speaker 6 (14:48):
That's the heart.

Speaker 5 (14:49):
Yeah, And like I said, based on true story. Hey, listen,
I got to run here, men, doctor Doolittle or nothing
is mixing to go to work. I gotta go catch
Junior and put him in the pan.

Speaker 6 (14:59):
J what's he doing?

Speaker 5 (15:01):
He's romancing that big old pillar we got laying in
front of the TV, you know, the one that shaped
like depends on car. Hey, y'all gonna see good later
on probably will? Will you tell him I got a
dog setting job for him this weekend? Oh and tell
him he'll know what you mean, y'all keeping straight up her.

Speaker 12 (15:24):
Oh, good morning, dollars.

Speaker 4 (15:26):
This is your old Granny clumb You know, the best
way to start your day. I don't buy that crap
but a balance dreakfast listening to job boy Billy on
The Big Show is low.

Speaker 12 (15:38):
In fact and high in fun.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
And who the hell can't get behind that old Patrick?
If time for my spongebat?

Speaker 13 (15:48):
Whoa good morning? The Big Show is on the radio.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
In eighteen twenty five, twenty three year old Alexander Dumas.

Speaker 8 (16:29):
That's well, let's see what he did first.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
Dumas embarked on a self proclaimed career as a romantic
by fighting his first duel romantic.

Speaker 6 (16:42):
He looks like Marty Allen, real.

Speaker 11 (16:46):
Like Jackie Mason had been right in the back of
a flatbed truck or something.

Speaker 3 (16:51):
Dumbos had challenged the man after the two had quarreled
over a billiard's game.

Speaker 8 (16:57):
Nice shot, Dumas.

Speaker 6 (17:00):
I'll tell you.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Take this.

Speaker 6 (17:03):
Take that.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
Dumas bragged to be quite proficient with pistols.

Speaker 12 (17:11):
I'm packing.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
So his opponent shose swords, yeah, not knowing that Dumas
was unskilled with a blade. It has noted that during
the duel, his opponent's crafty swordsmanship calls Dumas.

Speaker 6 (17:28):
Suspense to fall down.

Speaker 14 (17:29):
It's Dumas, I know, funny, and that's funny.

Speaker 3 (17:45):
Good morning, everybody, John boyd Jeopardy time. Let's jump on
in here for the a forementioned big old prize pack off.

Speaker 7 (17:52):
We spend millions of dollars per computer system that makes
a clean transfer between the affiliate time and the network time,
and you come back with a break that go, good morning.
Millions of dollars to keep from chopping that first syllable.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Day and you do it intentionally.

Speaker 6 (18:08):
So well, slapping a few bucks and I'll put the
gu on there.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Yeah, I'll get right to the company about that.

Speaker 7 (18:15):
John Boy said he needs a few bucks and he'll
throw an extra syllable, y'all.

Speaker 9 (18:19):

Speaker 8 (18:20):
The upgrades are expensive, right.

Speaker 6 (18:23):
All right, here we go.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Only about four percent of the nation's population has one
of these, but In the NBA, a full thirty percent
of the players have them.

Speaker 6 (18:35):
What is the baby out of wedlocks?

Speaker 3 (18:38):
All ay, y'all, let's open them up one eight hundred,
big show, you told free Lin.

Speaker 6 (18:43):
Still we're calling on good? Do we get a winner?
Let's do it? Good morning, to.

Speaker 3 (19:15):
Make sure it's on the radio, moving around the bottom
of the gowe out in time. Yes, live across America.

Speaker 8 (19:23):
It's' joh ferdie and now you're host here to make
sure you.

Speaker 6 (19:30):
Have a good morning. Alright, ees on more, thank you?

Speaker 5 (19:38):
And to Bill A.

Speaker 3 (19:41):
Called him and nine first contestant Tyler out of get
Stoney in North Carolina.

Speaker 6 (19:44):
Hey, Tyler, how you doing good? Good? Good? What are
you doing today?

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Going to school?

Speaker 14 (19:50):

Speaker 6 (19:50):
Grady and Tyler? Eight? What school you go to? Alright?

Speaker 12 (19:55):
Is Tyler day?

Speaker 1 (19:57):
Let's move along, cop.

Speaker 6 (20:00):
All right, Tyler.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
Only about four percent of the nation's population has one
of these, but in the NBA, a full thirty percent
of the players have them.

Speaker 6 (20:07):
What is it a home basketball court? Hey?

Speaker 2 (20:10):
Home basketball court service?

Speaker 3 (20:14):
No, oh, Tyler, that's kind of a good guess there,
Jackie wonder what three percentage I guess all NBA players.

Speaker 8 (20:21):
I bet every one of us got a basketball going home. Hey,
I got one and I ain't never he's a holding records.

Speaker 15 (20:27):

Speaker 3 (20:27):
Don't be so modest, Tyler, thank you for playing. I
have a good day at school, all right. Man Dwayne
out of Knoxville, Tennessee. Hello, Dwayne, good Morry, good morning.

Speaker 6 (20:37):
What are you thinking, buddy.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
Well, I think they've got an airplane?

Speaker 6 (20:41):
You see an airplane?

Speaker 14 (20:47):

Speaker 6 (20:47):
Not an airplane?

Speaker 1 (20:50):

Speaker 6 (20:50):
Guess why they do have one? They use?

Speaker 3 (20:51):
I mean they usually don't fly their own planes like
racers to the games.

Speaker 6 (20:54):
They all get together.

Speaker 8 (20:55):
We're talking about that, but it just made too long
a chomboys. Shepardy quest.

Speaker 6 (21:00):
Hi Dowayne, thanks for playing. I got you too.

Speaker 9 (21:03):

Speaker 6 (21:03):
Ron out of Melbourne, Florida's up? Hello Ron Jump bar
Ron Barr. What are you doing man?

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Just on my way to work?

Speaker 6 (21:12):
Yeah, driving an on the cell phone? Yeah, no boy,
good work.

Speaker 3 (21:17):
I knew you'd appreciate it anyway. So what you're thinking, Ron, Yeah,
I'll tell you there's a bunch of things I'm gonna
go with.

Speaker 6 (21:24):
Tattoo show us tattoo you are run?

Speaker 5 (21:32):

Speaker 6 (21:35):
Why do what you mean? It seems like it'd be
more than thirty percent. Actually, when you look at him.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
I thought it would have been about eighty percent.

Speaker 5 (21:41):
But I don't know.

Speaker 3 (21:42):
I don't know what else to say.

Speaker 6 (21:43):
Shaped Maybe it's just the starters. Yeahha would be a
good idea. But you got it, ron less quick questioning.

Speaker 5 (21:49):
Awesome, man, you guys rock and roll. I know that
you know.

Speaker 12 (21:58):
I haven't made a movie and years. I don't miss it.
Hollywood is a toilet and they've run out of paper.
You want entertainment, do what I do. Download the iHeart
app and listen to John Boy and Billy on the
Big Show.

Speaker 3 (22:46):
Good Morning, to make shows on the radio. Alrighty, let's
kick off a resolute to the movies.

Speaker 6 (22:55):
For Inscis Florida.

Speaker 11 (22:55):
Winsby presents the summer's biggest action back blockbuster, The mist
Curious Avenger of the Night comes to the big screen.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
No, so killy, who are you?

Speaker 6 (23:07):
I'm please off, Sir.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Donnie prepresslessly in case seven emerges, he you shit.

Speaker 11 (23:16):
Down nine one one one. Police Officer Donnie Presley is dirty, Donnie.

Speaker 6 (23:22):
Rand No what you're thinking? The fire six shots.

Speaker 8 (23:28):
Are only five?

Speaker 6 (23:31):

Speaker 1 (23:32):
You gotta ask your health one question?

Speaker 6 (23:38):
Do I feel lucky? Well?

Speaker 11 (23:41):
Do you a pun A group of international terrorists has
taken over a giant skyscraper and only one man can
stop them.

Speaker 8 (23:49):
Do you any think you have a chance against us?

Speaker 11 (23:51):
Mister cowboy, you be kind, mother. He's a one man
juggernot of action and excitement.

Speaker 6 (24:00):
Go ahead, make my day.

Speaker 11 (24:03):
Donnie Presley is Donnie Presley in Dirty Donnie Freeze.

Speaker 6 (24:09):
Turkey Up Against the Law from Revco Embassy Pictures, Rated R.
I'll be back good morning. A big show is on

a radio. Is that what I got here?

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Dear John Boy, I'm writing to let you know the
results of the singing contest last night at the Rose.
First off, two girls tied for first, and now you
will have both of them on your show. You may
remember me from the night you judged the contest. I
sang a whole Lot of Love by Zeppelin. The winners
of that contest one because they have something I don't boobs,

John Boy. If the contest had been close, I would
have no problem saying they won. But last night I
absolutely nailed one of the greatest and best vocal songs
in the history of rock. The other two did some
lame country crap that hardly anyone knows. On top of that,
they didn't do it very well. Sorry, but that's the truth.
I absolutely, hands down crushed them. But to lose just
because of being a man, I think that would take

just about anyone off give his initials a w huh.

Speaker 6 (25:34):

Speaker 15 (25:38):
Aw how appropriate? All well, well, well.

Speaker 4 (25:50):
For claiming to have lost because you were a man,
you should do lose like a girl, not just a girl,
but a little girl, a little squealing girls. So far,
the only thing you haven't done is stomp your feet
and scream mommy.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
They won because they had boobs. Nonsense.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
That one hot little potato that sang win beneath My
Wings had the hottest rack in the pack in.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
A caboost to match.

Speaker 4 (26:29):
But she chose to sing a song about dying from
that movie Beaches. To a guy, that's the equivalent of
her taking off her shirt to reveal a thick layer
of coarse brown hair all over her upper body. Hooters
didn't save her from the axe. Pally, you say, the
girls who once sang some lame country crap that no

one has ever heard of, No one that is, except
all the rednecks in the room and most importantly the judges.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Next time, it might be smart.

Speaker 4 (27:03):
To sing something a little less played than a song
that you have to hear thirty five thousand times a
day thanks to unimaginative programmers on classic rock stations.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
You know who you are. Other guys lost. Didn't see
them throw a hissy fit.

Speaker 4 (27:22):
Even that little Faye Asian guy in the lavender jacket
that sang that falsetto and did all those leftover pips choreography.
And that big Italian guy that looked like Danny Iello
and sang like someone put his throat in a blender.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
He lost.

Speaker 4 (27:39):
He didn't threaten to whack anyone. That funny black guy
that sang off key and danced on the chair, he didn't.
He didn't snap his fingers in anyone's face and yelled
bach and accuse anyone of dissing him or be player hating.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
And there you stand.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
A chubby, little white guy saying he knows what it's
like to be a black man in the sixth the nerve, Well,
I guess you have to play the race card when
the rest of your hands sucks so bad. Surely a
person of your talent and ability will find other opportunities.

After all, you've You've worked sixteen years building a name
for yourself. I just wonder how smart it was to
put all your talented eggs in one basket. I saw
the semi finals, and I find it hard to believe
that you've been waiting your whole life for the day
where you could put your fate in the hands of
a washed up has been actor, a sports jock on

a five watt am station, a barkeep with a great
big head.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
And John Boy.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
Way to go, genius, And if you still think you're
such hot stuff, there's always the Gong Show. Sounds like
you use those sour grapes to make a great big
bottle of goolly wine with.

Speaker 2 (29:10):
An age get it.

Speaker 5 (29:15):
You who?

Speaker 16 (29:17):
Part time receptionist, Bab's wrangler and still aside six Bill
McCracken here telling you that no matter which way you swing,
there's something for everyone right here on the Big Show
with John Boy and Billy.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
I mean, as long as your expectations aren't too high,
and you don't mind that it's coated in grillin sauce
to the Mini Cooper.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
Carry on, straight, people,
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