December 11, 2024 • 42 mins
Wed (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Marci sings “I’m Gettin’ Nuttin’ for Christmas”.. - Tank Hogarth has some straight talk about Christmas.. - Tater has the latest news out of Hollyweird with Tatertainment News.. - Bob Ibach is back with a special offer for the Football Fan on your gift list.. - We’ll give you ten ways to tell you’ve got a Bad Mall Santa.. - We wish a happy birthday to Mama Curry.. - Ward Burton has a few slots left in his Holiday Speechin’ School.. - and Married Man wonders if shouldn’t have ever been born…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You have more than everybody. The Big Show is right
here on the radio. Saves me praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated to put a
smile on your face and a song in your heart
as long as you're buying their bloody grill and sauce,
Joy and Billy on the Big Show face and begorah.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
That is one of mine and Jackie's favorite things. Now,
I know, folks listening, you don't know what just happened.
I'm gonna tell you. He gets all keyed up on
the bumper bed and he goes, he gets it and
he starts. He didn't realize this, he didn't turn his
own microphone on. It's the best the sounds that come
(01:27):
out of me, just knowing that I look down.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
And it's not on.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Now, It's not even that, it's the look on your face,
like I can't hear me.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I know I was gonna say good morning, and it
came out. God, I know I couldn't. Oh five amuse
y'all like a little clown without a microphone. Oh, I
was se I was gonna tell you about National Days.
It's them. They're all stupid anyway, stretch up everything, stupid.
(02:05):
Now's National Stretching Day, all right, National app Day, yeah,
we got it. And the National Noodle ring Day is
like round pasta all right, okay, right please? Uh. We
always telling you about James Gregory's book that is available now,
(02:27):
A Bushel of Beans and a Peck of Tomatoes with
a Ford by Ieman Dean Gaines. We talked to Dean yesterday.
Of course James passed away. How the time flies?
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Man?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Has it been a year? He's got an autograph bookmark.
If you order from James's website, you can get it
like on Amazon and stuff. But if you go to
the Funniest Man dot com, it comes with free shipping
and an autograph bookmark. Like we talked to Dean James.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Uh, and it's the same price as it is on Amazon,
so you get the bonus and you going through his sight,
you know his his family's gonna get more from that.
You know, when Amazon sells a book, they keep thirty
percent of it, so yeah, I know, so yeah, that
would help out the families.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Oh good, that way, awesome good. And we found out
one day a bushel of Beans and the Peck of
Tomatoes James Gregory was delivered in the Red Hills of
Georgia on the family kitchen table and couldn't afford to pay.
The doctor looked out and saw their good garden. He said,
how about a bushel of beans and a peck of
tomatoes for you boy here? I mean not that he
(03:32):
was gonna take him, I mean for serviceship. So there
it is a Life and Times of the Funniest Man
in America, so you can get your copy Funniestman dot com.
All right, we'll got our first prize pack out and
got my microphone on. I'm gonna be ready to go
beg Joe's on the radio. Yeah, morning to make show's
(03:54):
on a radio. First prize pack, I'm about the Allies
Tractor Hunting season prize pack. We're throwing in US screen
cleaner and keychain, which is very important in the in
the tear stand. Ready was making buck Now it's cool
man LS tractor. We got a cool Blaze orange beanie
and even a T shirt for you dog. Know how
we feel about our dogs. If you click on the banner,
(04:17):
I'll take you to Lstractors USA dot com. Learrywhye customers,
Start blue and Stay Blue. Check out the new mansio
cameo edition. Boys got going on ls tractor. We look
at three dates in history. This is where we get
our three categories for that prize package. Two thousand and
(04:37):
one Federal agencies computers in twenty seven US cities to
gain evidence against an international software prioracy piracy ring.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You can't know about that, yeah, I mean it was
a lot of Microsoft products.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Let's move up to twenty eleven. Jeopardy host Alex Trebec
suffered a minor heart attack in his home. It was
a minute to Cedar SNA Medical Center. Twenty eleven, and
then twenty fifteen, Playboy magazine published its last nude issue.
It featured Pamela Anderson on the cover. And that's about
(05:16):
time I ran into her at Charlott Motor Speedway and
nobody was hurt. Yeah, well, airbags.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
On.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Then, That's why I said. It looked like I want
to take her out in the ironer, J George, like
paper mache or some one of them clean you deals.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
If you could do without the hand gestures, I'd appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh yeah, hey, Mars, there do.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
I walked in and I want to iron her.
Speaker 7 (05:48):
I want to ask any questions?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, all right, I'm just finishing up on our categories
that you laid out for us early this morning. So
let's do it one eight hundred Big Show you told
free line. We play out Burst next Good Wednesday Morning,
(06:26):
Decemberday eleventh, BEG shows on the radio. In our feature
track when the Big Show bet box a married man,
Christmas eyes a Christmas favorite keywords married Christmas. Check it
out when you hear the bed box at the Big
Show dot com Beljie, John Moore Milly Christmas album. We
all do that every year. That's so cool. We got
(06:46):
enough to lash if you more. Oh yeah there.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Right now, Uppers, let's play Upburst.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
That's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
John Boy Billy to give the prizes from the Big
Prize Pa, Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing outbers.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
Have the hurry up and guess time you love the
best time you.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Have a big shots. Let's say hey to Kevin from
the Hell Up Georgia.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
We have shots.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Good more than Kevin your morning. Oh take everything, Gavin,
Let's get you thir These three categories gets you at
LS Tractor Hunting Season prize back. How does that sound?
I say I wonderful. All right, Well, let's get you
(07:57):
to earn it in five seconds. Give us three things
stored on a computer. Ready go pass words, pictures, software, alright, Kevin,
Now name three TV game shows? Ready go.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Jeopardy, we were Fortune.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Pass words, ma'am. And for the win. Three magazines kind
of like Playboy, Ready to.
Speaker 8 (08:30):
Go offfler he House.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Sports for a favorite swims in assignment.
Speaker 9 (08:47):
Your work.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Kevin will get you L's tractor price back down to
Lizella for you.
Speaker 10 (08:52):
All right, I say it, alight, listen, ab I'll catch
you up on your news.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
May's he been a bad girl a year? Is he
getting nothing for Christmas and singing about it? Don't have
desire in a world of the Big Show where Marcy
(09:47):
Tater Moran exists. No, she's getting nothing for Christmas. She's
been a bad little girl, nice enough to sing for us.
Let's hit it.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
I forgot to book a guest.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Somebody snitched on me. Got one name right, misspelled dot rest.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Somebody snatched on me. I gave fillers puppies. Please tickle
Jackie b Herpee.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Dressed up Brandy, don't fuck me. Somebody snached on me.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Oh, getting for Christmas.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
John Boy and Billy or Mad get for Christmas, cause
I ain't been on up but bad. I try to
make goodbye, never can I can't think of.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Where's things that a bload.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Of duck for Christmas.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
I took the wheels off Rayford's chair. Somebody snitched on me,
put up bow in Marty's hair.
Speaker 9 (11:00):
Mother just on me.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
I scare Steven, made him crap, told the bus that
bad sad clap sewed.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Up John Boy's long John flap.
Speaker 9 (11:08):
Somebody's start.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Gettinghing for Christmas.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
John Boy and Billy are mad.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
I'm getting buckus for Christmas, and now.
Speaker 6 (11:22):
This tater is sad.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
I try to be good, but it never works. I
wish I didn't work with jerks. Now get simple for Christmas.
I put a snake in Jackie's bed.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Somebody snitched on me.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
I made fun of Billy's head. Some misters got me.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
I spray painted Eddie's truck, told him that his banjo
such said that I don't.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Give up darn.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
I think I just need me getting fired for Christmas.
John Boy and Billy or Bad gets wept for Christmas.
I feel like I've really been had. Just be glad
that you're not deep beside my lonely Christmas tree.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Christmas good for Christmas.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Superstar.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Oh don't you so sweet? How could you get nothing
but Christmas? Stampa? Good morning, it's a big sewan A
(12:56):
radio roll. It's on your Wednesday, the summer eleventh. You're
twenty minutes away ta ertainment news. I now bring in
the man.
Speaker 11 (13:05):
Hello, fellow liberty lovers, your bosom comrade in freedom is
here to entertain and elucidate you, once again, all at
the expense of liberals, which is just the way we
like it.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Like they haven't had it rough enough lately.
Speaker 11 (13:16):
You could still hear the high pitch, girly screaming echoing
in the ether, And that was just from the guys. Yes,
Kamala was defeated, and defeated soundly. I haven't seen the
Democrats this angry since Lincoln freed their slaves.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Too soon.
Speaker 11 (13:34):
I guess it didn't help that her VP pick was
a dollar store Barney the Dinosaur. Yes, she was so
badly beaten that FEMA sent her a check for seven
hundred and fifty dollars. But from what I hear, she
likes getting spanked too soon. I'm sure she'll find something
to do. I hear laughing cow Cheese is looking for
a spokesperson, and their hits just keep coming. But don't worry.
(14:01):
Your legacy will be protected by Hollywood. I mean, if
they all don't leave the country like they promised, will
We're waiting, but don't hold your breath. They never keep
their word because you know they're Democrats. No, they'll do
their best to portray her brave journey from her humble
beginnings in poor middle class families to her imaginary job
(14:23):
at McDonald's, all the way to getting power slammed by
the bad Orange man.
Speaker 7 (14:27):
Don't you love a happy ending?
Speaker 11 (14:30):
So here it is from the Home Office in the
pante drawer of Barack Obama's linger a closet comes today's
top ten list. The top ten movie titles for the
Kamala Harris biopic Number ten, Day of the Cackle.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Number nine, eight.
Speaker 11 (14:49):
Million, Ways to Lose, Number eight, Cry Hard, number seven,
Bill Dollar, Cry Baby, number six, Throw Houci Mama from
the Train. Number five, So I Married a Communist? Number four,
(15:15):
Despicable She number three, White House Downer, number two, The Good,
the Bad, and the Unelectable, And the number one title
for the Kamala Harris biopic, Missus Harris.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Almost goes to Washington. It's big sew on the radio.
Johnbo Bin and Tanner Fellers ran to Jackie and you listening, Hi?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
How you are listening to toe of the funniest guys
on the radio. And my fraternity brothers at the Raccoon Lodge,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Are they funny? Are they funny?
Speaker 9 (16:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Hell, good morning, there's a big show on al radio.
(16:47):
Guy wish a very special big show. Birthday to a lady.
If she wouldn't having a birthday, we would not be
enjoying her daughter, her all these years I'm talking about,
we wouldn't be enjoying her son. Nice guy and great
(17:09):
on the basketball court. Let me see if they can
figure it out. Okay, she got a grandson that we'll
probably go down in a lot of the NBA record
books for achievement. Shit on that hard wood. Now back
to Jackie. It's Jackie's mama. Jackie's mama is eighty nine
(17:34):
years old today and a spitfire. Oh she is so awesome.
Speaker 12 (17:38):
She is a piece of work.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
And that is so neat that she's here in Charlotte
now and Jackie and all the kids getting to visit her. Man,
I'm thinking about moving in with her. She'd take you to.
Speaker 8 (17:52):
She'd like you to hear how she describes Jackie. She
is a bit by Jack's something else. Happy, Happy birthday mom.
She still loves her son. She forgets she's got four daughters.
No kidding, I go see her.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Hey, how you doing?
Speaker 12 (18:13):
Will you put my clothes away?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
See if my legs need shaving?
Speaker 9 (18:16):
Will you cut my toenails?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
No kidding, I'm not kidding. Della, come in?
Speaker 9 (18:20):
Is that my son?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
No kidding? Yeah, stuff, Yeah, that's him. He was here
what a month ago? I was here yesterday.
Speaker 7 (18:33):
But happy birthday Mom.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
I felt that one.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
That was good morning. Big shows on the radio. We're
gonna play John Boy Jepardy Here for a red Max
prize pack. Red Max makes the best trimmers and bloorers
and commercial zero turn moors with a two year unlimited
hours warning. Kawakaki Engines heavy duty fabricated decks mologa prood
Redmax click at boundary when he hit the Big Show
(18:58):
dot Com hang on with right Now, Taylor Zaiman Newser'
z AGirl, Marcy Taylor Mora Well I appreciate you.
Speaker 6 (19:09):
Thank you, John Ball.
Speaker 13 (19:12):
So this week, Netflix is premiering the Jamie Fox special
What Happened Was and the details about it are are
hard to find, but Jamie apparently sets the record straight
about his medical complications that he suffered in the spring
of twenty three. If you recall, he spent twenty days
in a coma, and he said his daughter Corin played
(19:32):
the guitar for him daily and that he claims that
he could hear the music while in a coma, and
he credits her for waking him up out of that
coma three week coma. So, during the taping of the
show in October, he went in depth about a lot
of different things and had audience participation. He said that
he was literally moments away from death, and in this
special he speaks about waking up in the hospital. He
(19:54):
says he thought he just passed out for a second,
but he realized it had been three weeks. So to him,
it was like I'm out, I'm back, and it was
three weeks past.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
But he heard music.
Speaker 6 (20:05):
Yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 13 (20:07):
Taylor Swift returned as expected, to the top of the
album chart this week. The Tortured Poets Department has now
reigned for sixteen non consecutive weeks sixty nine or sixteen
non consecutive weeks, non non consecutive weeks.
Speaker 9 (20:23):
So as he was up there, she just.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Wasn't consecutive six weeks in a run run.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Which all right.
Speaker 13 (20:29):
But the big shocker is, according to Billboard Magazine, is
this quite all right? Is that bing Crosby returned to
the top ten more than forty seven years after his
death thanks to his ultimate Christmas album.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
And he never thought that was going anywhere recorded and
he said, wow, you don't need to keep that.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
That ain't goingwhere it would be going.
Speaker 13 (20:51):
Mary Moore, the US Travel Association Association YES estimates that
Swifties spent five billion dollars to ten the eras tour,
including travel expenses, meals and merchandise, perhaps as much as
ten billion when you factor in the non ticket holders
who congregated outside the stadiums, just taking the experience. There's
(21:11):
a lot of photos online that you can watch videos
that of mass amount of people outside of the stadium
just watching the lights and listening from them up on
hills and all around the stadiums and listening to Taylor.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Taylor, I don't think I've heard of her.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
Yeah, she's no pretty popular. Popular dude. So she's so popular?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
How popular?
Speaker 13 (21:36):
Hallmark and the mayor of Kansas City are celebrating the
ratings victory because more people watched holiday touchdown a chief's
love story than five prime time college football games.
Speaker 6 (21:47):
Wow, heard that right.
Speaker 13 (21:48):
According to the Kansas City Star, uh, tight end, Travis
Kelcey is dating Randy, He's dating a singer called Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, he's not just a tight end.
Speaker 6 (22:01):
He plays the position of her.
Speaker 13 (22:04):
Over the game because we were welcome, you know why,
because she was finishing up her eras tour in Vancouver.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
Sunday night was the last night for that show, and
the show is closed.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I don't stick. I find I don't think she's there
because we haven't seen the camera shot.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
Yeah, you know she was.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
She was working.
Speaker 6 (22:21):
I was working, saying goodbye and and and it was
the end of it.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You know, him back home, getting that kitchen, give me
something day my game. Yeah, all right, ladies, take a
deep breath. I'm counting. I'm counting foreign hey, and I
(22:45):
go through that country. How about that?
Speaker 13 (22:48):
Alark is a scheduled do an encore presentation of the
of the Chiefs Love story this Saturday.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
Let's take that and again and again.
Speaker 13 (22:57):
There's people that care, John Boy, I'm speaking to them
right now and again on Christmas morning. Oh good, you
don't even know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Swift fail. You know, it's not really about Kansas City Stadium.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
Taylor, everything she touches turns to go.
Speaker 13 (23:18):
And Time Magazine has revealed its shortlist for the twenty
twenty fourth Person of the Year.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
Do you want to know?
Speaker 13 (23:25):
Contenders are Vice President Kamala Harris, Princess Kate Middleton, Elon Musk,
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin You now, I don't know that person.
Don't know that person.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Federal Reserve Chair.
Speaker 13 (23:41):
Jerome Powell, podcaster Joe Rogan, oh, Mexican President Claudia shine Bomb,
and President elect Donald Trump, as well as Mark Zuckerberg
are all contenders.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Chris, and I don't know if you knew this, but
last year's Person of the Year was Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
All right, we'll good word maybe thank you so much
for that report. Well, come on, let's get us a winner.
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy review. Yesterday's question. We found
out just over half of all the human beings who
have ever lived have been killed by one of these.
A swiftie, a mosquitoes. Yeah, they care a bunch of
(24:29):
bad stuff. Y'all be careful why longs leaves Today's John
Boy Jeopardy. Nearly every language on earth has a cow
going move, a cat going miaw, and a cuckoo going cuckoo.
But researchers found the limitations of these animals vary greatly
by language. In China they go wang wang. In Greece
(24:49):
it's gav gav, and Ukrainians say half half.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Oh, what's a Carolina gamecock fan?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
All right, look, stay with hot pockets. One ain't a
hundred big shows. You don't free line across America, we
go to Wee get a winner. We play John Board
Jeopardy in Decks.
Speaker 9 (25:35):
Good Wens, The Morning, Ham Day and Summer eleventh.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Today's feature track for The Big Show Big Box A
married man Christmas. Search for keywords married Christmas hit the
Big Box app The Big Show dot com one of
our most popular bit box Choicely there right now, let's
play yells live across America. It's John boyd Champany now
(26:01):
your host.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Last Christmas, his wife gave him a French army knife.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It's a lot like a Swiss army knife, has.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
All the you know, neat tools, but it also has
a little white flag.
Speaker 9 (26:12):
He's life that bag.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Let's say, hey the David out of Cago Mountain, Tennessee.
Good morning, David, morning you, hey body, We're good. All right,
look at you get well? All right, let's get you
that mood at him, He'll say, welcomes you, Cagle Mountain.
All right, you made it in here, Dave. You got
first shot at John Boy jeopardy. So I was saying,
(26:39):
every language on Earth nearly has you know, a cowgoing move,
a cat goes me ow, you know what? The cuckoo
goes cuckoo. Okay, But research researchers found that imitations of
these animals vary greatly by language. Okay, in China they
(27:00):
go wang wang. In Greece, gav galve and Ukrainians say
half half half half wang waang. What you got, David?
Speaker 9 (27:10):
What you think? Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:11):
What you got?
Speaker 9 (27:12):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:13):
I guess I'll go with a dog, show us dogs.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
I made.
Speaker 14 (27:20):
I heard the dog giving you the answer, Good dog,
good dog. What's sher dog's name, David?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Her dog's name is Misty. She's a little pit bull
and I just love her today. All right, well, good, well,
I'm glad you listened to her to go with her answer,
and you got your Red Max prize bag. We'll get
it to you up Kago Mountain.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Now, Dave, can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Of course you can. I left shout out to my
wife nearly forty years, my two kids and all my grandkids,
and you guys were making thanks funny other morning, David.
We appreciate you and yours listening to us man means
a lot. Boy, you hang on all right, thank you,
thank you? Why did jump out? Catch you up? Phone union?
(28:16):
Don't look at time? Capsule day.
Speaker 9 (28:20):
Laugh.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
On the other side, this is the award winning John
(28:53):
Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number one exports.
Speaker 7 (29:06):
Well, good morning, mister Rayford. I'm doctor Craine. Good to
see you again. I understand you've been having some trouble
getting to sleep at night. I will learn that I
see you. Well. This may sound a tad unorthodox, but
hear me out on this. I think a little hypnotherapy
might be beneficial in your case. Yeah, yea, yeah, now, yes, yes,
(29:28):
I know. Many people are skeptical about hypnosis at first,
but I think if you'll give it a chance, it
might surprise you. If you're ready, we'll just jump right
in like whatever you know. All right, then, ners Rayford,
Once you just relax, relax, take slow, deep breaths in
and outs, in and outs. You're listening only to the
(29:50):
sound of my voice. You're slipping deeper and deeper into
a more and more relaxed state. All right, sounds like
your body is relaxed. Let's relax your mind. Beads, slow,
read deep, go to your happy place. Boom, that's it.
(30:17):
Now you're completely relaxed, completely at ease.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
All right.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
I want you to go back in time for me,
back in your mind, back to the earliest point in
your life that you can remember. Goo goo goos ha
ha ha cool, it's good.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Good.
Speaker 7 (30:38):
Now your mother is singing you a lullaby. What song
is she singing.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Over the weekend?
Speaker 9 (30:48):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (30:48):
All day?
Speaker 7 (30:50):
I see. Can you remember anything else about this particular time?
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (30:55):
I did love those sheep? Oh so you hear cheap
man man? And about how old are you? Right now?
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'm having a good time. I just don't want to
be distracted.
Speaker 12 (31:09):
I want your attention.
Speaker 7 (31:11):
Oh I see. So as a toddler, you had trouble
getting your parents to pay attention to I want you
to think back when you tried to get some attention
from your father. How would he react? You ought to
act more grown up? Interesting? And what about your mother?
(31:37):
And how did this make you feel?
Speaker 9 (31:39):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (31:45):
Fascinating? Now I want you to go forward in time
just a little bit. Think about your teenagees. Tell me
about your first girlfriend. Right now, think back to an
evening when you were, say, out on a date with her.
Let me call you, sweetheart, I'm in love with you.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Let me whisper actual loves me.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
The love like burning in your eyes so blue.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Let me flog in a sweetheart.
Speaker 7 (32:31):
So when she would whisper sweet nothings into your ear,
let's say what sort of things would she say to you? Booh,
Note to self, this patient has problems beyond the scope
of my particular specialty.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Tazro Shimo out of here.
Speaker 7 (32:51):
Yes, mister Rafa, I'm going to bring you back to consciousness.
Now let's begin moving forward in time. Okay, now you're
a adult. It's the early nineteen seventies. Hour on down
with rock and roll, Come on, longly, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely.
All right, now it's the nineteen eighties. Anyway you want it,
(33:14):
Pats the way you get.
Speaker 9 (33:15):
It, anyway you want it.
Speaker 7 (33:17):
All right, Now we're moving into the nineties. Hoo hoo,
oh boos and gold.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yes, this is little cold set the course of the North.
Speaker 7 (33:28):
Pole, and now you're almost back to the present. Pass
off from a barber. All right, I clap my hands.
You'll be totally awake and completely refreshed. Here we go,
Robert D.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Radon, No, no, get back on.
Speaker 7 (33:44):
It came talk, Robert D.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Rayford.
Speaker 7 (33:47):
Mister Rayford, I'm not sure I'm the person to help you, frankly,
so I'm not going to charge you for a session. Hellelujah,
hellllojah Hella, Lord.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Nor don't know.
Speaker 7 (34:07):
Uh mss test marker. Would you have security coming here
and escort mister rayf had out? Please pass up and
tell him to please hurry John William Billy, how does
(34:28):
the field?
Speaker 6 (34:29):
It's like falling in love?
Speaker 7 (34:31):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
A, it's a big show on the radio or your
Wednesday Dayscember the eleventh, all right, it's time for an
American Minute with tank Ogar.
Speaker 12 (35:15):
Thanks Red, Hey, America, tank hogarth here got a minute,
you know, I thought, with the country taking a new direction,
our beloved star spangled Republic could pull out of this
national nose, dive into the abyss of intolerance and ignorance,
and ascend to the red, white and blue righteousness we
used to know. There's just one little obstacle to hurdle,
(35:38):
one more bump in the road to navigate, one more
partially moist dog log to scrape off the shoe of
hope and change, to make America great again. That's right,
the holidays. So zip your yapper and plant that wide
load for two shakes, and there's a real possibility that maybe,
just maybe you'll go away a little bit smarter. Was
(36:00):
judging from some of you dim bulbs, is a real
damn stretch. Afterwards, you can write your complaints on a card,
roll it into a ball and stick it up your dumper.
There's a nice spot right to the left next to
your head. Well, kitties, it's that time of year again, Christmas,
(36:21):
the Yule Tide, a time for marshmallow dreams and kids
high pitched screams. Remember the good old days when the
ho ho hoes used to come from the North Pole
instead of the Kardashian family tree. When everybody love going
to the manger to see Baby Jesus instead of giving
automatic citizenship to Baby Jesus. When cities went all out
(36:45):
decorating the streets with millions of lights because no one
had started a cry and a fit about global warming yet,
and there was so much by God tinsel that you
were picking it out of the dog's crap till June,
and everyone was saying Merry Christmas instead of Hey, jackass,
(37:06):
I saw that flat screen TV first, and if you
want to go home with all your damn teeth, you'll
step off. I don't know. Maybe I'm living in the past.
Maybe I'm not with this new scene man. Maybe I
think Stocking should be hung by the chimney with care
instead of hung next to your boyfriend's pantyhouse in the shower,
next to his loofah sponge and his shower crocs. But
(37:29):
I'll tell you this much, if your butt pucker's when
somebody says Merry Christmas and you should probably stock your
advent calendar with xanix, what the hell have you done
to Christmas America? Christmas in America used to be a
time to look forward to. You couldn't wait until Thanksgiving
because you knew the very next day the stores would reopen,
(37:50):
glistening and glittering with all that seasonal do dads and
geekgaus that made you want to buy some new rabbit
ears for the old black and white idiot bucks. You
could clearly see all the gin blossoms on Bing Crosby's nose.
Now you can barely get to the Freddy Krueger mask
and rubber guts because of all the cheap led made
in China Christmas lights in the way. And if there's
(38:13):
anything worse than those godless heathens, there's another dingleberry hanging
on the old Baccanalia butt hair. Come on, you know
who I'm talking about. Those smugs, snooty no it alls
to spend their time telling you how smart they are
and how stupid you are. I'm talking about the atheists.
(38:34):
Their sole purpose in life is to be pissed off
that you dare believe in something they don't. And I'll
be damned if I can understand how me saying Merry
Christmas is enough to send them screaming on tippy toes
to the legal system. Like some panny waste. I will
offer a disclaimer the aforementioned jerks on all intolerant America, hating, judgmental, pushy,
(38:54):
cornhole sniffers, just most of them. Look, they're entitled to
their opinions, but that's all they're entitled to. These people
will represent a fraction of the citizens of this great country.
But every time we bow and scrape and call Christmas
vacation a winter holiday and dismantle some Nativity scene because
it's some sort of trigger, the USA dies a little
(39:16):
bit inside, which reminds me of a poem my father
used to read.
Speaker 5 (39:20):
The name.
Speaker 12 (39:22):
Jingle bells Batman smells Robin was killed by the joker.
If you say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, I'm
gonna beat you with a fireplace poker. Oh dear, look
at the time, I've overstayed my welcome once again. Tough crap,
(39:43):
and you're welcome until next time. This is thank hogarth.
Stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Ye more than everybody the big shows on the radio.
Still a lot more coming at you. Hey, hey listener,
my name is man only.
Speaker 9 (40:15):
I ain't a motivational speaker.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
I am thirty five years old.
Speaker 11 (40:21):
I am right divorced, and every morning I listen to
Young Boy and Billy on the Big Show when.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I wake up in a veg.
Speaker 13 (40:33):
River.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Go on and laugh and leave the radio work. Let
(41:10):
it up, let's to go, let's no lets, no lets,
and no know Gary Holy. What he needed was some
good vocals to his rocking Christmas tunes. Gary Ho Ho Ho.
Speaker 7 (41:26):
And you said, you know what, so you were.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Paying attention, don't want it?
Speaker 9 (41:34):
If I knew the word, I know the chipmunks roasting song,
I got that one down the.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Place to go because they're cold inside. Our baby is
cold outside. That's what we've been missing. I knew it
was like one of our classics, most requested every Christmas time,
Jackie and I yet, okay, okay, that's let us know,
all right. It took us on to remind me of
(42:00):
the other one. Okay, good, you see how it works.
Not really, no, not all and don't want to well,
let's keep it that well outside. Yeah, we'll do that later,
al right. So you got plans, got plans out of
him myself on a microphone
You have more than everybody. The Big Show is right
here on the radio. Saves me praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated to put a
smile on your face and a song in your heart
as long as you're buying their bloody grill and sauce,
Joy and Billy on the Big Show face and begorah.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
That is one of mine and Jackie's favorite things. Now,
I know, folks listening, you don't know what just happened.
I'm gonna tell you. He gets all keyed up on
the bumper bed and he goes, he gets it and
he starts. He didn't realize this, he didn't turn his
own microphone on. It's the best the sounds that come
(01:27):
out of me, just knowing that I look down.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
And it's not on.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Now, It's not even that, it's the look on your face,
like I can't hear me.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I know I was gonna say good morning, and it
came out. God, I know I couldn't. Oh five amuse
y'all like a little clown without a microphone. Oh, I
was se I was gonna tell you about National Days.
It's them. They're all stupid anyway, stretch up everything, stupid.
(02:05):
Now's National Stretching Day, all right, National app Day, yeah,
we got it. And the National Noodle ring Day is
like round pasta all right, okay, right please? Uh. We
always telling you about James Gregory's book that is available now,
(02:27):
A Bushel of Beans and a Peck of Tomatoes with
a Ford by Ieman Dean Gaines. We talked to Dean yesterday.
Of course James passed away. How the time flies?
Speaker 4 (02:37):
Man?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Has it been a year? He's got an autograph bookmark.
If you order from James's website, you can get it
like on Amazon and stuff. But if you go to
the Funniest Man dot com, it comes with free shipping
and an autograph bookmark. Like we talked to Dean James.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Uh, and it's the same price as it is on Amazon,
so you get the bonus and you going through his sight,
you know his his family's gonna get more from that.
You know, when Amazon sells a book, they keep thirty
percent of it, so yeah, I know, so yeah, that
would help out the families.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Oh good, that way, awesome good. And we found out
one day a bushel of Beans and the Peck of
Tomatoes James Gregory was delivered in the Red Hills of
Georgia on the family kitchen table and couldn't afford to pay.
The doctor looked out and saw their good garden. He said,
how about a bushel of beans and a peck of
tomatoes for you boy here? I mean not that he
(03:32):
was gonna take him, I mean for serviceship. So there
it is a Life and Times of the Funniest Man
in America, so you can get your copy Funniestman dot com.
All right, we'll got our first prize pack out and
got my microphone on. I'm gonna be ready to go
beg Joe's on the radio. Yeah, morning to make show's
(03:54):
on a radio. First prize pack, I'm about the Allies
Tractor Hunting season prize pack. We're throwing in US screen
cleaner and keychain, which is very important in the in
the tear stand. Ready was making buck Now it's cool
man LS tractor. We got a cool Blaze orange beanie
and even a T shirt for you dog. Know how
we feel about our dogs. If you click on the banner,
(04:17):
I'll take you to Lstractors USA dot com. Learrywhye customers,
Start blue and Stay Blue. Check out the new mansio
cameo edition. Boys got going on ls tractor. We look
at three dates in history. This is where we get
our three categories for that prize package. Two thousand and
(04:37):
one Federal agencies computers in twenty seven US cities to
gain evidence against an international software prioracy piracy ring.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
You can't know about that, yeah, I mean it was
a lot of Microsoft products.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Let's move up to twenty eleven. Jeopardy host Alex Trebec
suffered a minor heart attack in his home. It was
a minute to Cedar SNA Medical Center. Twenty eleven, and
then twenty fifteen, Playboy magazine published its last nude issue.
It featured Pamela Anderson on the cover. And that's about
(05:16):
time I ran into her at Charlott Motor Speedway and
nobody was hurt. Yeah, well, airbags.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
On.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Then, That's why I said. It looked like I want
to take her out in the ironer, J George, like
paper mache or some one of them clean you deals.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
If you could do without the hand gestures, I'd appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh yeah, hey, Mars, there do.
Speaker 6 (05:45):
I walked in and I want to iron her.
Speaker 7 (05:48):
I want to ask any questions?
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, all right, I'm just finishing up on our categories
that you laid out for us early this morning. So
let's do it one eight hundred Big Show you told
free line. We play out Burst next Good Wednesday Morning,
(06:26):
Decemberday eleventh, BEG shows on the radio. In our feature
track when the Big Show bet box a married man,
Christmas eyes a Christmas favorite keywords married Christmas. Check it
out when you hear the bed box at the Big
Show dot com Beljie, John Moore Milly Christmas album. We
all do that every year. That's so cool. We got
(06:46):
enough to lash if you more. Oh yeah there.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Right now, Uppers, let's play Upburst.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
That's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
John Boy Billy to give the prizes from the Big
Prize Pa, Let's go contested number one.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing outbers.
Speaker 7 (07:15):
Have the hurry up and guess time you love the
best time you.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Have a big shots. Let's say hey to Kevin from
the Hell Up Georgia.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
We have shots.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Good more than Kevin your morning. Oh take everything, Gavin,
Let's get you thir These three categories gets you at
LS Tractor Hunting Season prize back. How does that sound?
I say I wonderful. All right, Well, let's get you
(07:57):
to earn it in five seconds. Give us three things
stored on a computer. Ready go pass words, pictures, software, alright, Kevin,
Now name three TV game shows? Ready go.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Jeopardy, we were Fortune.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Pass words, ma'am. And for the win. Three magazines kind
of like Playboy, Ready to.
Speaker 8 (08:30):
Go offfler he House.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Sports for a favorite swims in assignment.
Speaker 9 (08:47):
Your work.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Kevin will get you L's tractor price back down to
Lizella for you.
Speaker 10 (08:52):
All right, I say it, alight, listen, ab I'll catch
you up on your news.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
May's he been a bad girl a year? Is he
getting nothing for Christmas and singing about it? Don't have
desire in a world of the Big Show where Marcy
(09:47):
Tater Moran exists. No, she's getting nothing for Christmas. She's
been a bad little girl, nice enough to sing for us.
Let's hit it.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
I forgot to book a guest.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Somebody snitched on me. Got one name right, misspelled dot rest.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Somebody snatched on me. I gave fillers puppies. Please tickle
Jackie b Herpee.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Dressed up Brandy, don't fuck me. Somebody snached on me.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Oh, getting for Christmas.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
John Boy and Billy or Mad get for Christmas, cause
I ain't been on up but bad. I try to
make goodbye, never can I can't think of.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Where's things that a bload.
Speaker 7 (10:50):
Of duck for Christmas.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
I took the wheels off Rayford's chair. Somebody snitched on me,
put up bow in Marty's hair.
Speaker 9 (11:00):
Mother just on me.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
I scare Steven, made him crap, told the bus that
bad sad clap sewed.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Up John Boy's long John flap.
Speaker 9 (11:08):
Somebody's start.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
Gettinghing for Christmas.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
John Boy and Billy are mad.
Speaker 5 (11:18):
I'm getting buckus for Christmas, and now.
Speaker 6 (11:22):
This tater is sad.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
I try to be good, but it never works. I
wish I didn't work with jerks. Now get simple for Christmas.
I put a snake in Jackie's bed.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
Somebody snitched on me.
Speaker 6 (11:38):
I made fun of Billy's head. Some misters got me.
Speaker 5 (11:42):
I spray painted Eddie's truck, told him that his banjo
such said that I don't.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Give up darn.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
I think I just need me getting fired for Christmas.
John Boy and Billy or Bad gets wept for Christmas.
I feel like I've really been had. Just be glad
that you're not deep beside my lonely Christmas tree.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Christmas good for Christmas.
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Superstar.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Oh don't you so sweet? How could you get nothing
but Christmas? Stampa? Good morning, it's a big sewan A
(12:56):
radio roll. It's on your Wednesday, the summer eleventh. You're
twenty minutes away ta ertainment news. I now bring in
the man.
Speaker 11 (13:05):
Hello, fellow liberty lovers, your bosom comrade in freedom is
here to entertain and elucidate you, once again, all at
the expense of liberals, which is just the way we
like it.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Like they haven't had it rough enough lately.
Speaker 11 (13:16):
You could still hear the high pitch, girly screaming echoing
in the ether, And that was just from the guys. Yes,
Kamala was defeated, and defeated soundly. I haven't seen the
Democrats this angry since Lincoln freed their slaves.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
Too soon.
Speaker 11 (13:34):
I guess it didn't help that her VP pick was
a dollar store Barney the Dinosaur. Yes, she was so
badly beaten that FEMA sent her a check for seven
hundred and fifty dollars. But from what I hear, she
likes getting spanked too soon. I'm sure she'll find something
to do. I hear laughing cow Cheese is looking for
a spokesperson, and their hits just keep coming. But don't worry.
(14:01):
Your legacy will be protected by Hollywood. I mean, if
they all don't leave the country like they promised, will
We're waiting, but don't hold your breath. They never keep
their word because you know they're Democrats. No, they'll do
their best to portray her brave journey from her humble
beginnings in poor middle class families to her imaginary job
(14:23):
at McDonald's, all the way to getting power slammed by
the bad Orange man.
Speaker 7 (14:27):
Don't you love a happy ending?
Speaker 11 (14:30):
So here it is from the Home Office in the
pante drawer of Barack Obama's linger a closet comes today's
top ten list. The top ten movie titles for the
Kamala Harris biopic Number ten, Day of the Cackle.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Number nine, eight.
Speaker 11 (14:49):
Million, Ways to Lose, Number eight, Cry Hard, number seven,
Bill Dollar, Cry Baby, number six, Throw Houci Mama from
the Train. Number five, So I Married a Communist? Number four,
(15:15):
Despicable She number three, White House Downer, number two, The Good,
the Bad, and the Unelectable, And the number one title
for the Kamala Harris biopic, Missus Harris.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Almost goes to Washington. It's big sew on the radio.
Johnbo Bin and Tanner Fellers ran to Jackie and you listening, Hi?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
How you are listening to toe of the funniest guys
on the radio. And my fraternity brothers at the Raccoon Lodge,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Are they funny? Are they funny?
Speaker 9 (16:05):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Hell, good morning, there's a big show on al radio.
(16:47):
Guy wish a very special big show. Birthday to a lady.
If she wouldn't having a birthday, we would not be
enjoying her daughter, her all these years I'm talking about,
we wouldn't be enjoying her son. Nice guy and great
(17:09):
on the basketball court. Let me see if they can
figure it out. Okay, she got a grandson that we'll
probably go down in a lot of the NBA record
books for achievement. Shit on that hard wood. Now back
to Jackie. It's Jackie's mama. Jackie's mama is eighty nine
(17:34):
years old today and a spitfire. Oh she is so awesome.
Speaker 12 (17:38):
She is a piece of work.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
And that is so neat that she's here in Charlotte
now and Jackie and all the kids getting to visit her. Man,
I'm thinking about moving in with her. She'd take you to.
Speaker 8 (17:52):
She'd like you to hear how she describes Jackie. She
is a bit by Jack's something else. Happy, Happy birthday mom.
She still loves her son. She forgets she's got four daughters.
No kidding, I go see her.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Hey, how you doing?
Speaker 12 (18:13):
Will you put my clothes away?
Speaker 1 (18:14):
See if my legs need shaving?
Speaker 9 (18:16):
Will you cut my toenails?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
No kidding, I'm not kidding. Della, come in?
Speaker 9 (18:20):
Is that my son?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
No kidding? Yeah, stuff, Yeah, that's him. He was here
what a month ago? I was here yesterday.
Speaker 7 (18:33):
But happy birthday Mom.
Speaker 6 (18:35):
I felt that one.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
That was good morning. Big shows on the radio. We're
gonna play John Boy Jepardy Here for a red Max
prize pack. Red Max makes the best trimmers and bloorers
and commercial zero turn moors with a two year unlimited
hours warning. Kawakaki Engines heavy duty fabricated decks mologa prood
Redmax click at boundary when he hit the Big Show
(18:58):
dot Com hang on with right Now, Taylor Zaiman Newser'
z AGirl, Marcy Taylor Mora Well I appreciate you.
Speaker 6 (19:09):
Thank you, John Ball.
Speaker 13 (19:12):
So this week, Netflix is premiering the Jamie Fox special
What Happened Was and the details about it are are
hard to find, but Jamie apparently sets the record straight
about his medical complications that he suffered in the spring
of twenty three. If you recall, he spent twenty days
in a coma, and he said his daughter Corin played
(19:32):
the guitar for him daily and that he claims that
he could hear the music while in a coma, and
he credits her for waking him up out of that
coma three week coma. So, during the taping of the
show in October, he went in depth about a lot
of different things and had audience participation. He said that
he was literally moments away from death, and in this
special he speaks about waking up in the hospital. He
(19:54):
says he thought he just passed out for a second,
but he realized it had been three weeks. So to him,
it was like I'm out, I'm back, and it was
three weeks past.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
But he heard music.
Speaker 6 (20:05):
Yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 13 (20:07):
Taylor Swift returned as expected, to the top of the
album chart this week. The Tortured Poets Department has now
reigned for sixteen non consecutive weeks sixty nine or sixteen
non consecutive weeks, non non consecutive weeks.
Speaker 9 (20:23):
So as he was up there, she just.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Wasn't consecutive six weeks in a run run.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Which all right.
Speaker 13 (20:29):
But the big shocker is, according to Billboard Magazine, is
this quite all right? Is that bing Crosby returned to
the top ten more than forty seven years after his
death thanks to his ultimate Christmas album.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
And he never thought that was going anywhere recorded and
he said, wow, you don't need to keep that.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
That ain't goingwhere it would be going.
Speaker 13 (20:51):
Mary Moore, the US Travel Association Association YES estimates that
Swifties spent five billion dollars to ten the eras tour,
including travel expenses, meals and merchandise, perhaps as much as
ten billion when you factor in the non ticket holders
who congregated outside the stadiums, just taking the experience. There's
(21:11):
a lot of photos online that you can watch videos
that of mass amount of people outside of the stadium
just watching the lights and listening from them up on
hills and all around the stadiums and listening to Taylor.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Taylor, I don't think I've heard of her.
Speaker 6 (21:28):
Yeah, she's no pretty popular. Popular dude. So she's so popular?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
How popular?
Speaker 13 (21:36):
Hallmark and the mayor of Kansas City are celebrating the
ratings victory because more people watched holiday touchdown a chief's
love story than five prime time college football games.
Speaker 6 (21:47):
Wow, heard that right.
Speaker 13 (21:48):
According to the Kansas City Star, uh, tight end, Travis
Kelcey is dating Randy, He's dating a singer called Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, he's not just a tight end.
Speaker 6 (22:01):
He plays the position of her.
Speaker 13 (22:04):
Over the game because we were welcome, you know why,
because she was finishing up her eras tour in Vancouver.
Speaker 6 (22:11):
Sunday night was the last night for that show, and
the show is closed.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
I don't stick. I find I don't think she's there
because we haven't seen the camera shot.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
Yeah, you know she was.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
She was working.
Speaker 6 (22:21):
I was working, saying goodbye and and and it was
the end of it.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
You know, him back home, getting that kitchen, give me
something day my game. Yeah, all right, ladies, take a
deep breath. I'm counting. I'm counting foreign hey, and I
(22:45):
go through that country. How about that?
Speaker 13 (22:48):
Alark is a scheduled do an encore presentation of the
of the Chiefs Love story this Saturday.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
Let's take that and again and again.
Speaker 13 (22:57):
There's people that care, John Boy, I'm speaking to them
right now and again on Christmas morning. Oh good, you
don't even know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Swift fail. You know, it's not really about Kansas City Stadium.
Speaker 6 (23:13):
Taylor, everything she touches turns to go.
Speaker 13 (23:18):
And Time Magazine has revealed its shortlist for the twenty
twenty fourth Person of the Year.
Speaker 6 (23:23):
Do you want to know?
Speaker 13 (23:25):
Contenders are Vice President Kamala Harris, Princess Kate Middleton, Elon Musk,
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin You now, I don't know that person.
Don't know that person.
Speaker 6 (23:38):
Federal Reserve Chair.
Speaker 13 (23:41):
Jerome Powell, podcaster Joe Rogan, oh, Mexican President Claudia shine Bomb,
and President elect Donald Trump, as well as Mark Zuckerberg
are all contenders.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Chris, and I don't know if you knew this, but
last year's Person of the Year was Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
All right, we'll good word maybe thank you so much
for that report. Well, come on, let's get us a winner.
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy review. Yesterday's question. We found
out just over half of all the human beings who
have ever lived have been killed by one of these.
A swiftie, a mosquitoes. Yeah, they care a bunch of
(24:29):
bad stuff. Y'all be careful why longs leaves Today's John
Boy Jeopardy. Nearly every language on earth has a cow
going move, a cat going miaw, and a cuckoo going cuckoo.
But researchers found the limitations of these animals vary greatly
by language. In China they go wang wang. In Greece
(24:49):
it's gav gav, and Ukrainians say half half.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Oh, what's a Carolina gamecock fan?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
All right, look, stay with hot pockets. One ain't a
hundred big shows. You don't free line across America, we
go to Wee get a winner. We play John Board
Jeopardy in Decks.
Speaker 9 (25:35):
Good Wens, The Morning, Ham Day and Summer eleventh.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Today's feature track for The Big Show Big Box A
married man Christmas. Search for keywords married Christmas hit the
Big Box app The Big Show dot com one of
our most popular bit box Choicely there right now, let's
play yells live across America. It's John boyd Champany now
(26:01):
your host.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Last Christmas, his wife gave him a French army knife.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It's a lot like a Swiss army knife, has.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
All the you know, neat tools, but it also has
a little white flag.
Speaker 9 (26:12):
He's life that bag.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Let's say, hey the David out of Cago Mountain, Tennessee.
Good morning, David, morning you, hey body, We're good. All right,
look at you get well? All right, let's get you
that mood at him, He'll say, welcomes you, Cagle Mountain.
All right, you made it in here, Dave. You got
first shot at John Boy jeopardy. So I was saying,
(26:39):
every language on Earth nearly has you know, a cowgoing move,
a cat goes me ow, you know what? The cuckoo
goes cuckoo. Okay, But research researchers found that imitations of
these animals vary greatly by language. Okay, in China they
(27:00):
go wang wang. In Greece, gav galve and Ukrainians say
half half half half wang waang. What you got, David?
Speaker 9 (27:10):
What you think? Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:11):
What you got?
Speaker 9 (27:12):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:13):
I guess I'll go with a dog, show us dogs.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
I made.
Speaker 14 (27:20):
I heard the dog giving you the answer, Good dog,
good dog. What's sher dog's name, David?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Her dog's name is Misty. She's a little pit bull
and I just love her today. All right, well, good, well,
I'm glad you listened to her to go with her answer,
and you got your Red Max prize bag. We'll get
it to you up Kago Mountain.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Now, Dave, can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Of course you can. I left shout out to my
wife nearly forty years, my two kids and all my grandkids,
and you guys were making thanks funny other morning, David.
We appreciate you and yours listening to us man means
a lot. Boy, you hang on all right, thank you,
thank you? Why did jump out? Catch you up? Phone union?
(28:16):
Don't look at time? Capsule day.
Speaker 9 (28:20):
Laugh.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
On the other side, this is the award winning John
(28:53):
Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number one exports.
Speaker 7 (29:06):
Well, good morning, mister Rayford. I'm doctor Craine. Good to
see you again. I understand you've been having some trouble
getting to sleep at night. I will learn that I
see you. Well. This may sound a tad unorthodox, but
hear me out on this. I think a little hypnotherapy
might be beneficial in your case. Yeah, yea, yeah, now, yes, yes,
(29:28):
I know. Many people are skeptical about hypnosis at first,
but I think if you'll give it a chance, it
might surprise you. If you're ready, we'll just jump right
in like whatever you know. All right, then, ners Rayford,
Once you just relax, relax, take slow, deep breaths in
and outs, in and outs. You're listening only to the
(29:50):
sound of my voice. You're slipping deeper and deeper into
a more and more relaxed state. All right, sounds like
your body is relaxed. Let's relax your mind. Beads, slow,
read deep, go to your happy place. Boom, that's it.
(30:17):
Now you're completely relaxed, completely at ease.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
All right.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
I want you to go back in time for me,
back in your mind, back to the earliest point in
your life that you can remember. Goo goo goos ha
ha ha cool, it's good.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Good.
Speaker 7 (30:38):
Now your mother is singing you a lullaby. What song
is she singing.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Over the weekend?
Speaker 9 (30:48):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (30:48):
All day?
Speaker 7 (30:50):
I see. Can you remember anything else about this particular time?
Speaker 4 (30:55):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (30:55):
I did love those sheep? Oh so you hear cheap
man man? And about how old are you? Right now?
Speaker 2 (31:06):
I'm having a good time. I just don't want to
be distracted.
Speaker 12 (31:09):
I want your attention.
Speaker 7 (31:11):
Oh I see. So as a toddler, you had trouble
getting your parents to pay attention to I want you
to think back when you tried to get some attention
from your father. How would he react? You ought to
act more grown up? Interesting? And what about your mother?
(31:37):
And how did this make you feel?
Speaker 9 (31:39):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (31:45):
Fascinating? Now I want you to go forward in time
just a little bit. Think about your teenagees. Tell me
about your first girlfriend. Right now, think back to an
evening when you were, say, out on a date with her.
Let me call you, sweetheart, I'm in love with you.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Let me whisper actual loves me.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
The love like burning in your eyes so blue.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Let me flog in a sweetheart.
Speaker 7 (32:31):
So when she would whisper sweet nothings into your ear,
let's say what sort of things would she say to you? Booh,
Note to self, this patient has problems beyond the scope
of my particular specialty.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Tazro Shimo out of here.
Speaker 7 (32:51):
Yes, mister Rafa, I'm going to bring you back to consciousness.
Now let's begin moving forward in time. Okay, now you're
a adult. It's the early nineteen seventies. Hour on down
with rock and roll, Come on, longly, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely.
All right, now it's the nineteen eighties. Anyway you want it,
(33:14):
Pats the way you get.
Speaker 9 (33:15):
It, anyway you want it.
Speaker 7 (33:17):
All right, Now we're moving into the nineties. Hoo hoo,
oh boos and gold.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Yes, this is little cold set the course of the North.
Speaker 7 (33:28):
Pole, and now you're almost back to the present. Pass
off from a barber. All right, I clap my hands.
You'll be totally awake and completely refreshed. Here we go,
Robert D.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Radon, No, no, get back on.
Speaker 7 (33:44):
It came talk, Robert D.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Rayford.
Speaker 7 (33:47):
Mister Rayford, I'm not sure I'm the person to help you, frankly,
so I'm not going to charge you for a session. Hellelujah,
hellllojah Hella, Lord.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Nor don't know.
Speaker 7 (34:07):
Uh mss test marker. Would you have security coming here
and escort mister rayf had out? Please pass up and
tell him to please hurry John William Billy, how does
(34:28):
the field?
Speaker 6 (34:29):
It's like falling in love?
Speaker 7 (34:31):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
A, it's a big show on the radio or your
Wednesday Dayscember the eleventh, all right, it's time for an
American Minute with tank Ogar.
Speaker 12 (35:15):
Thanks Red, Hey, America, tank hogarth here got a minute,
you know, I thought, with the country taking a new direction,
our beloved star spangled Republic could pull out of this
national nose, dive into the abyss of intolerance and ignorance,
and ascend to the red, white and blue righteousness we
used to know. There's just one little obstacle to hurdle,
(35:38):
one more bump in the road to navigate, one more
partially moist dog log to scrape off the shoe of
hope and change, to make America great again. That's right,
the holidays. So zip your yapper and plant that wide
load for two shakes, and there's a real possibility that maybe,
just maybe you'll go away a little bit smarter. Was
(36:00):
judging from some of you dim bulbs, is a real
damn stretch. Afterwards, you can write your complaints on a card,
roll it into a ball and stick it up your dumper.
There's a nice spot right to the left next to
your head. Well, kitties, it's that time of year again, Christmas,
(36:21):
the Yule Tide, a time for marshmallow dreams and kids
high pitched screams. Remember the good old days when the
ho ho hoes used to come from the North Pole
instead of the Kardashian family tree. When everybody love going
to the manger to see Baby Jesus instead of giving
automatic citizenship to Baby Jesus. When cities went all out
(36:45):
decorating the streets with millions of lights because no one
had started a cry and a fit about global warming yet,
and there was so much by God tinsel that you
were picking it out of the dog's crap till June,
and everyone was saying Merry Christmas instead of Hey, jackass,
(37:06):
I saw that flat screen TV first, and if you
want to go home with all your damn teeth, you'll
step off. I don't know. Maybe I'm living in the past.
Maybe I'm not with this new scene man. Maybe I
think Stocking should be hung by the chimney with care
instead of hung next to your boyfriend's pantyhouse in the shower,
next to his loofah sponge and his shower crocs. But
(37:29):
I'll tell you this much, if your butt pucker's when
somebody says Merry Christmas and you should probably stock your
advent calendar with xanix, what the hell have you done
to Christmas America? Christmas in America used to be a
time to look forward to. You couldn't wait until Thanksgiving
because you knew the very next day the stores would reopen,
(37:50):
glistening and glittering with all that seasonal do dads and
geekgaus that made you want to buy some new rabbit
ears for the old black and white idiot bucks. You
could clearly see all the gin blossoms on Bing Crosby's nose.
Now you can barely get to the Freddy Krueger mask
and rubber guts because of all the cheap led made
in China Christmas lights in the way. And if there's
(38:13):
anything worse than those godless heathens, there's another dingleberry hanging
on the old Baccanalia butt hair. Come on, you know
who I'm talking about. Those smugs, snooty no it alls
to spend their time telling you how smart they are
and how stupid you are. I'm talking about the atheists.
(38:34):
Their sole purpose in life is to be pissed off
that you dare believe in something they don't. And I'll
be damned if I can understand how me saying Merry
Christmas is enough to send them screaming on tippy toes
to the legal system. Like some panny waste. I will
offer a disclaimer the aforementioned jerks on all intolerant America, hating, judgmental, pushy,
(38:54):
cornhole sniffers, just most of them. Look, they're entitled to
their opinions, but that's all they're entitled to. These people
will represent a fraction of the citizens of this great country.
But every time we bow and scrape and call Christmas
vacation a winter holiday and dismantle some Nativity scene because
it's some sort of trigger, the USA dies a little
(39:16):
bit inside, which reminds me of a poem my father
used to read.
Speaker 5 (39:20):
The name.
Speaker 12 (39:22):
Jingle bells Batman smells Robin was killed by the joker.
If you say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, I'm
gonna beat you with a fireplace poker. Oh dear, look
at the time, I've overstayed my welcome once again. Tough crap,
(39:43):
and you're welcome until next time. This is thank hogarth.
Stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Ye more than everybody the big shows on the radio.
Still a lot more coming at you. Hey, hey listener,
my name is man only.
Speaker 9 (40:15):
I ain't a motivational speaker.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
I am thirty five years old.
Speaker 11 (40:21):
I am right divorced, and every morning I listen to
Young Boy and Billy on the Big Show when.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I wake up in a veg.
Speaker 13 (40:33):
River.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Go on and laugh and leave the radio work. Let
(41:10):
it up, let's to go, let's no lets, no lets,
and no know Gary Holy. What he needed was some
good vocals to his rocking Christmas tunes. Gary Ho Ho Ho.
Speaker 7 (41:26):
And you said, you know what, so you were.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Paying attention, don't want it?
Speaker 9 (41:34):
If I knew the word, I know the chipmunks roasting song,
I got that one down the.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Place to go because they're cold inside. Our baby is
cold outside. That's what we've been missing. I knew it
was like one of our classics, most requested every Christmas time,
Jackie and I yet, okay, okay, that's let us know,
all right. It took us on to remind me of
(42:00):
the other one. Okay, good, you see how it works.
Not really, no, not all and don't want to well,
let's keep it that well outside. Yeah, we'll do that later,
al right. So you got plans, got plans out of
him myself on a microphone
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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