December 24, 2025 • 41 mins
Wed (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast - the Mayor of Dismal Seepage is planning a weekend for exhibitionists with his “Happy Nude Year’s Festival”.. - Sherman Pratt has some Christmas advice for the kiddies.. - Robert Earl Keen has a sequel to “Merry Christmas from the Family”.. - Carl Childers tells the story of the 3 Little Pigs.. - and Hoyt and the JuniorNation Band performs their Christmas classic, “All I Want for Christmas is Beer”…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the Pride
to the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear
the Big Show? Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Goga doole loo, love and out on. It is Wednesday,
the seventy eighteenth. Right y'all think we only got about
a week after Christmas? Okay, my quick math in my head,
first name in the morning. Yeah, you're wrong, but today
(01:26):
five twenty yeah, man, alright, then we're gonna cut it loose,
like we got one day on Christmas a day, all right,
National twin Day, celebrate if you got a twin National
Roast Suckling Pig Day Celebrate. If you've got a suckling pig,
(01:50):
you gonna roast covers. Then the national answer the telephone
like Buddy the Elf.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Day's my favorite part.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
How do you answer the phone like Buddy the healthy?
Will Ferrell movies, Let Merry Christmas. You're so pretty you
should be on a Christmas card. That's one of his lines.
Oh is that right?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I thought like this, what's your favorite color. I remember
that line. Yeah, all right, Well find out how buddy
the elf answer the phone and then you do it.
That sounds like a lot of fun. While y'all do that,
we're gonna play some music and get your first prize
pack out and we'll have a fun game. I'm make
(02:34):
up we are. I don't believe you. Well hang around,
we'll prove it. Do you get up? Big Shoe's on
a radio. Good morning, got the Big Shoe on the radio.
We got our first prize pack this morning, a Happy
Herd prize pack. Of course, Happy Herd makes top quality
of tracting some minerals and feed for deer, bear and hogs.
(02:58):
If you're not using Happy Herd, you better hope you
They call a Happy Heard banner at the Big Show
dot com intercode JBB and you'll get tem percent off checkout.
Listen up right here you can win it. Three days
in history where we get our three categories. Nineteen ninety five,
Houston police warned residents and a con man already had
sold twenty five thousand dollars worth of water. He claimed
(03:22):
astronauts brought back from the Moon was at work cause
he was in Houston. We have a problem. We got
a dude selling water. Two thousand Hungarian divers held their
Christmas celebrations early at the bottom of a lake, the
lake near the town of Eagle Schlalom. The group swam
(03:42):
around a fully decorated and waited Christmas tree, humming carols
into their oxygen mass. Then they went on shore and
had a Turkey feast. Right this dayton oh two. Robert Johnson,
a billionaire founder of Black Entertainment Television, was chosen as
(04:06):
owner of the NBA's new Charlotte expansion franchise, Bob Johnson.
The Bob Kats get it. They lasted a little bit,
and Michael Jordan got it and then he just hold
it all anytime. Now we're gonna start winning. Right, So
there you go, think about NBA. Anybody in post to
(04:29):
the next game gets free moonwater. There's our three categories
one eight hundred big Sods. You told free line, come
on play out burst next.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Good Morning, there's a big showing a radio Well, homma do.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Your Wednesday Home Day eighteen feature track for the Big
Show bed Box hoyt with a Christmas tune. All I
want for Christmas is beer. That's for all your major
holidays with hoy Boys, your problems at the magshoe dot com,
and you know running again Upburst.
Speaker 5 (05:34):
Let's play Upburst.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
John Boys and.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Billy give the prizes from the big.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
Prize per Let's go contest and number one.
Speaker 7 (05:48):
This should really be a lot of funs W you're
playing Upburst, have a hurry up and guest.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Time you love the best time, you love a big shots.
Speaker 8 (06:00):
Let's say, hey and Derek from Decatur, I love Bama.
Speaker 9 (06:14):
Hey, Hey, Hey, good morning.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
And Erico Bunny. Well, getting them hey out of Decatur.
Let's get you through these three categories and get you
a happy herd. Let you get some Christmas meat.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
Yes, sir, yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
All right, Well in five seconds, Derek named three things
you can find in space. Ready go, the stars, the
moon and planet Bam. Now give us three things you
see on a Christmas tree? Ready go?
Speaker 9 (06:50):
How about a star at the top, the ornaments and
lights to go around it.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And for the wind that lights they look surprised the
other it goes on Christmas tree. Give us three NBA teams,
Ready go? How about the Lakers, the Bulls and the pistons. Yeah, listen,
(07:18):
that's my team. I get her in the engine. All right, there,
you got happy herd body will get until you're down
the cator. I appreciate it.
Speaker 10 (07:27):
First time caller too, all right, buddy, y'u, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Let's jump out, catch you up on your news. And
how about a little sing along married Christmas from the
famly r e Kay.
Speaker 11 (08:22):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's a big showing the radio. How about that tune
showing a twenty five year friendship with our boys Robert
url Kenes sing along. You know the words. We're gonna
play this song.
Speaker 12 (08:44):
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at a Christmas party.
We were drinking champagne, punching homemade da now hung.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
The little sister.
Speaker 12 (09:04):
Brought her new boyfriend. He was a mex Agin. We
know what to think of him. Tell his sang police
nobby dog, police, naby.
Speaker 11 (09:30):
Brother.
Speaker 12 (09:30):
King brought his kids at him, the three from his
first wife lind and the two dadicats wains from his
second wife Mary. Now of course he brought his new
wife Kay. The talk's all about Shane smoking while the
(09:58):
stereo blay no way, no how the first no card,
the turkey turned the ball game on mixed margarite to
(10:20):
swear the Hagnox gone. Since somebody to the quick backstore.
We need some ic and man extension corn, a can
of beans up had some diy rides, a box of
tampons and Marburl lines. Everybody says cheese. Merry Christmas from
(10:47):
the fan mole. There's that note I couldn't find in
that other side. Frin and Rada dry from our gin.
I can't remember how I'm ken to them. Were there
(11:08):
trying to plug their motor home in the blue eyes
Christmas lights? Gus in day to just what went wrong?
So we all waited out on our front lawn. It
through a breaker and the lights came on and we
(11:29):
sang silent, not a silent called the turkey turned the
ball game on, mate, Bloody Mary's coll on. Send somebody to.
Speaker 11 (11:53):
To stop and gone.
Speaker 12 (11:56):
We need some celihenn, a can of bake no, a
bag of lemons and some byes sprides, a box of
tampas and save alots, and everybody says, jeez, Merry Christmas
from the fan b.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
For snobs, I'm like, good morning, and the big shows
(13:07):
on the radio and we're twenty minutes away from Tatter
and Tama news. Right now, it's time for the grumpy
old man.
Speaker 13 (13:19):
A cheese and pineapples. I'm old and I hate anything
to do with Christmas. In my day, we didn't have
any big fancy mauls to go to. If we wanted
to give someone a gift, we'd find some poor dead animal,
throw solid in the snow, stick a bowl on it,
(13:41):
and give it to our sweetie. Or we go out
in the barnyard and get handfuls of mule dung and
make up poop bunny. Hey, look at me, I'm handing
out dead animals and crack runners.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I'm a stupid jackass hop dood dang.
Speaker 11 (14:01):
And we liked it that way.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
We didn't go for all that peace on garbage on Christmas.
Speaker 13 (14:10):
We get licked up on for minute gopher in it
and go around town beating the daylights out of the
people who screwed us over the past year. Then we
cut their ears off and staple under the barn door.
The one with the most ears got to sleep with
the town floozy. Then we get herpes and our privates
(14:31):
and fall off. Hey, look at us, we're a bunch
of in a drinking floozy humper year hot and barbarias.
Come on, help us find our winkies. Ye but dip
but dingly do.
Speaker 14 (14:46):
And we liked it.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
And it weren't no pretty trees sitting in the middle
of the house neither.
Speaker 13 (14:56):
If we wanted to decorate something, we drag our crazy
drooling maniac spinched her hand out of the root cellar
and drake collard greens and noodles over her, and pray
else she wouldn't have one of her conniption fits in
the middle of the night and kill us all by
digging out our brains with a rusty spoon and using
our skulls as a soup bowl. Hey, lookie here, we're
(15:19):
a bunch of bass ackwards hay seeds decorating our looney kin.
And when she kills us, we're gonna go straight to hell.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Oh happy day. We're morons.
Speaker 14 (15:30):
And we liked it.
Speaker 13 (15:33):
But we did have sandy claws until the air that
stupid tubber guts dried shimmying down the chimney we're in.
That fuzzy suitor here has burst into flames. By the
time he hit the ground, he was like the human torch.
We chased hip halfway across the county, pelting him with
rocks and manure, taking bits on when he'd fall. And
(15:56):
when we were dragging his charred corpse back to the house,
we saw the reindeer on the roof. We bashed him
in the head with a shovel and filled the freezer
with venison.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
And then we buried Sandy.
Speaker 13 (16:06):
And that's layout back so we wouldn't have to spend
the rest of our lives in the jug playing house
with a four hundred pounds bruiser. Whooptie wingle wangle, We're crazy,
Sandy burning backwards maniacs. We barbecued Father Christmas and Friday's reindeer.
We should hang long live stupidity.
Speaker 14 (16:29):
And we liked it.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Ah jigglely jangly Christmas steaks, h Merry Christmas.
Speaker 11 (16:41):
Right back as you.
Speaker 7 (16:47):
Good morning is a big should radio helly you lindsay,
premise here when I'm on this side of the pond,
I get my daily dose of culture and edification every
morning from these two delightful john Boy and Billy right
here on the big ship.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
You know, I hate to break it to you, boys,
but where I come from. You're all Yankees?
Speaker 11 (17:10):
Who will? I thought it was baddy, Good morning.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
And Merry Christmas on this December eighteenth, and the big
jokes on the radio.
Speaker 15 (17:54):
I'm sorry, I'm getting up.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Friends arebery Organs. Theirs are buzz the holiday cheer rocking out,
I mean hook at Christmas lights up to this song. Yeah,
there's plenty of them on the internet doing that. Yeah
you know those, Uh I am? It shows nice? All right, Well,
y'all never mind, we'll just look at him like it.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Uh but I will tell you John Boys wonderful thing.
Giveaway number one hundred and twenty eight is up a
brand new waffle house ball cab with embroidered logo and
a camo bill. And you don't look good Styland pro
islan in a wabble house? What's your name of the hat?
And to make show dot com and good luck. I'm
(18:42):
looking for a place to get out of this home
and I can no, it never ends. No, we'll just
say Tater Taman news in minutes. All right, we'll just
listen to it privately. Yeah, you get to work there,
Tator Tacho.
Speaker 11 (18:54):
What all right?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
That was a good ending, Thank you? That was that
high point was Good Morning Bike Shows on the radio.
Coming up, we played John boyd Jebite. You can win
on a sort of a small batch hand cooked peanuts.
What's that cooking deal they use at Birt County Peanuts
ter Fry.
Speaker 16 (19:15):
It is so good.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
A Southern tradition for over one hundred years, and we
tell you all about it this year so you can
check it out. The gifts for family, friends and clients
making part of your Christmas tradition starting this year, we
gotta good way for you to do it and a
co JB B at checkout and get twenty five percent
off plus free shipping when you shop online Birt County
(19:37):
Peanuts dot Now to just click on the link at
the Big Show dot com. Hang on play for it
in minutes. Right now, it's time for Tater Taman news
and here's our girl, Marcay Tater Morans.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Alright, some legal news.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
First.
Speaker 17 (19:54):
P Diddy is giving up on attempting to get out
of jail ahead of his criminal trial in May. I
bet you didn't know, but he made several attempts. His
legal team filed a motion to dismiss an appeal after
being rejected three times over the concerns of possible witness
intimidation as well as being a flight risk.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
So he did he puff daddy whatever.
Speaker 17 (20:16):
He will remain in custody in Brooklyn for at least
the next six months. The trial is set to begin
on May fifth, and that's according to CBS News.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
I know you're also concerned about Taylor and Travis.
Speaker 17 (20:30):
They do.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
What's the love life?
Speaker 17 (20:31):
Like?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
She had a birthday?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Did he know?
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Did he respond?
Speaker 6 (20:35):
Well?
Speaker 17 (20:35):
It was looking dicey for a minute, but Travis made
it to celebrate Taylor Swift's thirty fifth birthday.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Had had to move a little bit.
Speaker 17 (20:43):
First, he had to attend a mandatory Chief's holiday party
and he was spotted in an Instagram post with the daughter.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Of the team owner.
Speaker 17 (20:50):
Then he broke out early to be with Taylor, and
a witness says the two of them celebrated privately two
three and he absolutely showered her with gifts.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
How do you shower a billionaire? Only Travis News. Anyway,
Tate didn't.
Speaker 17 (21:05):
Taylor didn't return that favor. On Sunday, though she skipped
the Chiefs game in Cleveland against the Browns. I know
several people were looking for they never showed her. She
wasn't there. Oh good, fans were hoping she would show
since the Kelsey brothers grew up nearby and played their
college ball at Cincinnati.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
So that is according to the tabloids. Thank y'all for
that minute of our life.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Those swifties look up where the Kelsey brothers played ballm.
Speaker 17 (21:30):
I mean it's their Their fandom has increased, the whole family.
Jason Kelsey's wife Kylie, she had a podcast debut and
beat out Joe Rogan.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Podcast. Her first podcast that was released.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Though, the only thing that they couldn't do is get
Kamala elected president. That shows how bad she was couldn't
move the elections. How good everything else?
Speaker 14 (22:01):
All right?
Speaker 17 (22:01):
Yeah, for that, I think she touches his gold. Hey,
jay Z probably probably regret and being friends with P Diddy.
He is fighting for his reputation, his business and lucrative
partnerships with the NFL, to name a few. They had
selected the Super Bowl halftime performer for this year well
for in January. Rock Nation signed a five year deal
(22:24):
in twenty nineteen worth twenty five million dollars, and the NFL.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Renewed that partnership just two months ago.
Speaker 17 (22:30):
So Roger Goodell said that the NFL will avoid a
knee jerk reaction to jay Z's legal entanglements until it
has its due process.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So, you know, so he is a super Bowl entertainment
of this book.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I believe his I'm sorry his. I think it's his
his business rock motion.
Speaker 13 (22:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 17 (22:49):
So Beyonce, though, is booked for the Christmas halftime show.
She will be performing the halftime show with Mariah singing
during the pregame. Netflix has there's stuff together and they're
streaming glitches.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
They say, we'll risk.
Speaker 17 (23:03):
Ticking off football fans. So Netflix gets football on Christmas.
But jay Z, I'm just backing up. He was named
in a civil suit claiming that he was with p
Diddy at the two thousand MTV Video Music Awards when
there was some yes, you know, with an underage girl.
Speaker 10 (23:24):
If he's not, if he's not telling the truth, he
has the most conviction of being innocent I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
He must be.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
He'll either be the biggest liar or.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Or just was really at the wrong place at the
wrong time.
Speaker 17 (23:38):
Thing.
Speaker 16 (23:39):
I totally agree because they've been saying things that he's
been saying about it or his attorney, and I'm like
if he's down, if he's lying, he's damn good at
I've seen, yes, sir jay Z.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yes, well, don't know you're talking about. All I know
is Snoop Dogg's somewhere getting.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
High, trying to sell mobile phones and.
Speaker 11 (24:12):
Martha Store.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I had enough of him. I've had enough of Peyton
Manning now that you mentioned Peyton Manning whatever, getting the
Bayton Manning, just shut up and Christmas. Yeah, that's pretty good,
that's pretty good. All right, you were probably finished anyway.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Well I'm going to finish now, all right, good work.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Though, baby. I had enough of this whole entertainment biz
right there. All right, well, let's play. Let's get us
a weather like this. You told me to do it.
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy. All right, good? Uh see
review yesterday's question. We found out, according to a recent
(24:53):
survey among mall shoppers, this is the number one gift
they hope to receive this Christmas cash. Gosh, all shopper,
just give me cash and get me out of here.
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. Even though this is consistently voted
as the world's most despised Christmas song, it still ranks
(25:13):
in the dough every holiday season from radio, airplay, streaming
services and merchandising.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
What is John Boys Christmas trumpet of.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I'm glad I got to take a bet space in
your head? Babe. No what y'all got one eight hundred
Big Show you told free line?
Speaker 12 (25:34):
We go?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Do we get the winner? We play John Boy Jeopardy next, Yeah,
(26:03):
morn it's a big shoe already. I'm going to do
your Wednesday hum day before Christmas Days seventy eighteenth fature
track from The Big Show bed Box heint scene It's
all I want work. Christmas is beer. Don't forget words
Christmas beer. When you hit a big spot that the
Big Show dot com in right now it's fife. Yeah's
(26:26):
live across America.
Speaker 10 (26:27):
It's John Boy jepany and now a man who believes
no space seems emptier than the space where a Christmas
tree used to be.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
That's why he lives his up until Eastern Well that
and you know lazy. He's John Boy that make anywhere
say had a day mad out of Galina, Kansas. Good
morning David, Well, good morning, John Boy. How you doing man?
I'm just having to sit on both hands, so I
quit waving the people three four.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Don't sit on them hands too on you my lodging, They.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Gotta work my knobs. David, all right, I'm out. David.
You got the first shot at John boyde Everty this
morning for the bird Tea County Peanuts Prize back that
everybody's wonting. Even though this is consistently voted as the
world's most despised Christmas song, it's still racing the dough
(27:27):
every holiday season from radio, airplay, streaming services, and merchandising.
What do you think it is?
Speaker 8 (27:36):
Well, I can only think of one song that would
do that to everybody, and that's that Grandma got ran
over by a reindeer thing.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Ah, yeah, you know, doctor Elmo. You know saying that
about me last year. I don't want to talk.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
About it didn't improve.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Well, let's see if this is what we're looking for,
show us grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Yes, she did.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Like their elbow rams, sure, I mean that barking dog thing.
That's pretty annoying. Yeah, I kind of like that. So
some of the licensed merchandise for that man, that's crazy.
Hallmark greeting cards and ornaments, mugs, plush toys, clothing, betting,
bobble heads, children's books, DVD's of the animated special, scratch off,
(28:25):
lottery tickets, and countless other holiday items. Wow, what about
didn't we have that Big Show video that you put together?
So you're gonna do that before Christmas? So we'll we'll
just cut that out one one place you won't have
to see it.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Someone's got to break the change.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
We need to pay royalties again. I forget that. Anything
to make a dollar, right, let's get them bird Tea
County Peanuts to David over in Galena, Kansas. David, you
hang on, Jackie, hook you up, all right. I do
appreciate it. You guys have a good Christmas now, all right,
buddy appreciation David Man, Christmas. All right, we're gonna jump out,
(29:09):
catch you up on your news. On the other side,
when we think about time capsule of the De Simitar eight,
the mayor of Dismal Seapets making the.
Speaker 13 (29:46):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 18 (30:03):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the Cave.
As our story opens, an unsavory cowboy calls down into
the mouth of a dark cave in the hills of
gold rush country near Dothan, California.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
All right, sharp, you need to come on out of
there while you still.
Speaker 15 (30:27):
Can't get bet you no good chirt par okay.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Girly had time for you to do your thing. Uh
are you sure about this?
Speaker 17 (30:37):
Bell?
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Lay out the deal and see what he says.
Speaker 15 (30:41):
Recky Reggie, Hello, sweet fancy Moses, What fresh.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Hell is it?
Speaker 6 (30:51):
Ricky?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I need to talk to you, Hones.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
You and me ain't got nothing to say to one another.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Curly Bell don't want to queue you. He just watched
the gold.
Speaker 15 (31:02):
No way I do them nuggets out of the ground
with my own two stubby little hands. I had handed
it over that and load down. No good man, killing woman,
stealing jackass. I wouldn't even tell you where it was
that we was married.
Speaker 6 (31:16):
Ricky, you look to be in purty mad shame.
Speaker 15 (31:19):
You think Kurni Bill's been chasing me for two solid days.
They got two broke gardens and a bullet hole in
my belly.
Speaker 6 (31:26):
Uh, Old, Doc Weisser's up there at the mouth of
the cave with Bill right now.
Speaker 15 (31:30):
Is there anybody in this town that Keurny Bill ain't
got this yes, pucket, Ricky, tell.
Speaker 6 (31:36):
Me where the gold's at and I'll go back and
tell Bill and he'll send knock down to patch you up.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
I forget it. By the way, why would I tell you?
Speaker 15 (31:44):
Of all people, you're the hoarny little skak, a part
of us that rune off with curry Bill last week?
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Anyhow, what could I say? Things happened?
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Hey? Did you just undo my britches and what you
wrote me over rubbing my belly?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Fur woman?
Speaker 15 (32:02):
This ain't no time for one of your dead gums
twisted little snecks to page Ricky.
Speaker 17 (32:06):
This hair is a.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
Full stack of dynamite and I'm fixing to put it
up by that personal space.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
Do what now?
Speaker 16 (32:17):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (32:18):
The other end of this wire is up to a
plunger up at the mouth of the cave. If you
don't tell Bill where the gold is, Hey's gonna bly
you from here to the kingdom.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Gub Well, I got news for you. You and him
could both go. I can't read.
Speaker 14 (32:36):
I can't read.
Speaker 6 (32:39):
Where's the gold? That Ricky?
Speaker 5 (32:41):
Woo whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Speaker 15 (32:44):
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hold on a second.
I feel like a dead corn dog. All right, all right,
you got me. The gold is behind the house. Go
straight out the back door, about one hundred yards over
the ridge. It's under that big rocket looks like an Indian.
If you get to the Indian, that looks like a rock,
you went too far.
Speaker 6 (33:05):
You done the rock thing, Ricky, All right, now.
Speaker 15 (33:07):
Get up there and send that doctor down here. How
about taking a stick a dinabite with you. You just
sit tut loose eight day you Betteredick darlade. You Judy
is scariot. You broke my heart, but I love you anyway.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You don't know here a woman, Okay, okay, I'm cobbed.
What do you say?
Speaker 11 (33:29):
He said?
Speaker 6 (33:29):
You're a shipless goofy look of jackass.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
And you ain't even got the brains to push down.
Speaker 11 (33:34):
On that plug.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Jer We hope you've enjoyed. John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 5 (33:48):
Thought it was only one stick a din of my.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Burden killed in again.
Speaker 18 (33:54):
Next time, when we'll hear the crusty old gold buyer
in Sacramento say.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. I do
it take two, John boyam Billy, I tell you what man,
it dang on n r's all rights Man, Big Insurance.
You get it with this member man night like that,
you get a twenty thousand dollars. Your arm blows off man.
Speaker 14 (34:17):
Good morning radio, done right, Good Wednesday morning, the big
(34:49):
show is on the radio.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Well, there's always something exciting happening and beautiful little Dismal
seep in South Carolina. Here to tell us all about it,
the mayor himself, the Honorable Merwin Coop Fiddle Swoop. Good morning,
mister Mayor. Good morning, John Boy, and to all your
wonderful listeners. Hell, the holiday season is here, and you
always do something special.
Speaker 9 (35:11):
So what have you got forced today? He surprisingly astute question,
John Boy. Well, as you know we hear in Dismal
Seepage love doing things the whole family can enjoy. But
every once in a while we like to do something
for just the grown ups. And I'm so happy and
proud to announce our first annual International Happy Naughty Nudes
(35:34):
Year Festival.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So what does that mean?
Speaker 9 (35:37):
A fair question, John Boy, And what I expected. It's
really to celebrate the grand opening of one of our
newest businesses in Dismal Seepage, Buns Up and Wheeland naturist
camp and the founders Lloyd buns Up and Misty Wheeling.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Well, Dismal Seepage has a nudist camp. Gee, I wonder
where I heard that. Well, all right, everything else aside
seems like the wrong season for a newdest celebration.
Speaker 9 (36:05):
Well, the winners tend to be very mild here, John Boy.
And it's a good thing too, because this will be
a non clothing event.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Wait a minute, there's gonna be naked people running all
over Dismal Seeping You say that like it's something new.
We got a lot of weirdos running around here.
Speaker 9 (36:19):
Paths so wants to run down. I'm so glad you asked,
John Boy. As usual, the big parade down Main Street
will be something to see. The Ann Hathaway School of
Breast Augmentation marching band will be on hand, followed by
the stripped down clown troop nagging clowns. They paint their
whole bodies. It's a it's a wild scene, man, I
(36:43):
don't suppose you help with the painting. The Shriners will
also be on hand, naked Shriners, well sort of. They'll
have their fez hats on their lap.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
I mean, you know, somebody wants to see that. Well,
I can't wait to hear the attractions you're bringing the
Then why wait, John boy?
Speaker 9 (37:01):
This festival truly is international. All the way from Germany,
the boosting halton kens and flopping naked dancing girls will
be putting on shows all weekend naked.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
If they want their check to clear, they will be.
Speaker 9 (37:16):
But it's not just for the guys. We've got something
special for the ladies too. It's an exotic type of
Chippendale's show all the way from Hawaii. Yes, it's the
kamandisia pp all male review.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Will they be handing out lace?
Speaker 9 (37:30):
We can't let the weekend go bye with it without
some sort of an athletic component. So all the way
from China we've got Dong Pong. Wait, no, that's a
bit much. Relax, Francis, it's not what you think. Dong
Pong is the Chinese all nude table tennis champion from
the Winky Dink Province.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Alright, to be clear, he does use a paddle to
hit the ball right.
Speaker 9 (37:55):
And the closing night concert, the closing night concert, it
will feature high Beam Hattie and her naked Nightingale.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
I hesitate to ask but will there be foods?
Speaker 9 (38:07):
Yeah, we got a couple of food trucks, Harry's hot
Dogs and Tina's Tacos. I was expecting hooters, and you'll
see plenty this weekend.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
So I finally figured out why you're doing this in
the winter. You'll be able to blame the cold for shrinkings.
So come on down this weekend.
Speaker 9 (38:27):
For the first annual Dismal Seapitch International Naughty Nudesier Festival.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Just bring the skin you're in.
Speaker 11 (38:33):
You'll have a ball.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Where they're supposed to gar their wallets. I'll show you
good morning all big shows on your radio. Hello, you
perky early risers.
Speaker 19 (38:48):
Here's just the thing to wake you up and get
your blood pumpy, the John Boy and Billy Big Show. Why,
before you know it, you'll be bouncing off the walls
just like me. Ouh wah uahuba.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
See what I mean?
Speaker 13 (39:16):
M Please not a bell?
Speaker 11 (39:49):
No, no, the bells. I hate the bell when you've
got a bell.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Oh no, It's a big show on the radio for
your Wednesday morning, The seven eighth and minute Sherman Pratt,
The Big Show. Bratt. You know, yes, Christmas is all
about the kids. The Sherman's older brother playing with Jive
Mother Mary tonight in Charlotte, North Carolina. I can't remember
(40:16):
the venue. I know it's in uh Node section of
Charlotte's the cool Hip section that is coming up with
the Loso section the south end of Charlotte, North Carolina
as well where we are located. I would keep naming
some geography, but that's all I know. Give you all
time to find out where give Mother Mary is playing tonight.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
They're playing at the Evening Muse.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
The Evening mus and we will be there.
Speaker 16 (40:48):
That's why it was important for us to find out
where where you're headed.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Your attitude the evening me you would like to see
us and experienced Jive Mother Mary my new favorite Southern man.
The next generation. We'll see in the evening news news
Seanne on Carolina Tonight. Show time is like about seven
pm something like that. Correct, The doors open at seven.
(41:13):
All right, don't worry, we'll.
Speaker 13 (41:15):
Get you home.
Speaker 10 (41:15):
Put you to you know, for the guy who's telling
us all about it, you don't really seem to know
much about it. I knew everything except the name of
the glove. I got it, even the music. All right,
Jackie is driving anyway.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
That's all you're going to know where he got that, right,
He goes, don't Sherman Pratt, The Big Show. Brad is
up next. All right, thanks falling Together. Big Show rolls
on
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the Pride
to the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear
the Big Show? Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical?
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Goga doole loo, love and out on. It is Wednesday,
the seventy eighteenth. Right y'all think we only got about
a week after Christmas? Okay, my quick math in my head,
first name in the morning. Yeah, you're wrong, but today
(01:26):
five twenty yeah, man, alright, then we're gonna cut it loose,
like we got one day on Christmas a day, all right,
National twin Day, celebrate if you got a twin National
Roast Suckling Pig Day Celebrate. If you've got a suckling pig,
(01:50):
you gonna roast covers. Then the national answer the telephone
like Buddy the Elf.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Day's my favorite part.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
How do you answer the phone like Buddy the healthy?
Will Ferrell movies, Let Merry Christmas. You're so pretty you
should be on a Christmas card. That's one of his lines.
Oh is that right?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I thought like this, what's your favorite color. I remember
that line. Yeah, all right, Well find out how buddy
the elf answer the phone and then you do it.
That sounds like a lot of fun. While y'all do that,
we're gonna play some music and get your first prize
pack out and we'll have a fun game. I'm make
(02:34):
up we are. I don't believe you. Well hang around,
we'll prove it. Do you get up? Big Shoe's on
a radio. Good morning, got the Big Shoe on the radio.
We got our first prize pack this morning, a Happy
Herd prize pack. Of course, Happy Herd makes top quality
of tracting some minerals and feed for deer, bear and hogs.
(02:58):
If you're not using Happy Herd, you better hope you
They call a Happy Heard banner at the Big Show
dot com intercode JBB and you'll get tem percent off checkout.
Listen up right here you can win it. Three days
in history where we get our three categories. Nineteen ninety five,
Houston police warned residents and a con man already had
sold twenty five thousand dollars worth of water. He claimed
(03:22):
astronauts brought back from the Moon was at work cause
he was in Houston. We have a problem. We got
a dude selling water. Two thousand Hungarian divers held their
Christmas celebrations early at the bottom of a lake, the
lake near the town of Eagle Schlalom. The group swam
(03:42):
around a fully decorated and waited Christmas tree, humming carols
into their oxygen mass. Then they went on shore and
had a Turkey feast. Right this dayton oh two. Robert Johnson,
a billionaire founder of Black Entertainment Television, was chosen as
(04:06):
owner of the NBA's new Charlotte expansion franchise, Bob Johnson.
The Bob Kats get it. They lasted a little bit,
and Michael Jordan got it and then he just hold
it all anytime. Now we're gonna start winning. Right, So
there you go, think about NBA. Anybody in post to
(04:29):
the next game gets free moonwater. There's our three categories
one eight hundred big Sods. You told free line, come
on play out burst next.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Good Morning, there's a big showing a radio Well, homma do.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Your Wednesday Home Day eighteen feature track for the Big
Show bed Box hoyt with a Christmas tune. All I
want for Christmas is beer. That's for all your major
holidays with hoy Boys, your problems at the magshoe dot com,
and you know running again Upburst.
Speaker 5 (05:34):
Let's play Upburst.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
John Boys and.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Billy give the prizes from the big.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
Prize per Let's go contest and number one.
Speaker 7 (05:48):
This should really be a lot of funs W you're
playing Upburst, have a hurry up and guest.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Time you love the best time, you love a big shots.
Speaker 8 (06:00):
Let's say, hey and Derek from Decatur, I love Bama.
Speaker 9 (06:14):
Hey, Hey, Hey, good morning.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
And Erico Bunny. Well, getting them hey out of Decatur.
Let's get you through these three categories and get you
a happy herd. Let you get some Christmas meat.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
Yes, sir, yes, sir?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
All right, Well in five seconds, Derek named three things
you can find in space. Ready go, the stars, the
moon and planet Bam. Now give us three things you
see on a Christmas tree? Ready go?
Speaker 9 (06:50):
How about a star at the top, the ornaments and
lights to go around it.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
And for the wind that lights they look surprised the
other it goes on Christmas tree. Give us three NBA teams,
Ready go? How about the Lakers, the Bulls and the pistons. Yeah, listen,
(07:18):
that's my team. I get her in the engine. All right, there,
you got happy herd body will get until you're down
the cator. I appreciate it.
Speaker 10 (07:27):
First time caller too, all right, buddy, y'u, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Let's jump out, catch you up on your news. And
how about a little sing along married Christmas from the
famly r e Kay.
Speaker 11 (08:22):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's a big showing the radio. How about that tune
showing a twenty five year friendship with our boys Robert
url Kenes sing along. You know the words. We're gonna
play this song.
Speaker 12 (08:44):
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at a Christmas party.
We were drinking champagne, punching homemade da now hung.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
The little sister.
Speaker 12 (09:04):
Brought her new boyfriend. He was a mex Agin. We
know what to think of him. Tell his sang police
nobby dog, police, naby.
Speaker 11 (09:30):
Brother.
Speaker 12 (09:30):
King brought his kids at him, the three from his
first wife lind and the two dadicats wains from his
second wife Mary. Now of course he brought his new
wife Kay. The talk's all about Shane smoking while the
(09:58):
stereo blay no way, no how the first no card,
the turkey turned the ball game on mixed margarite to
(10:20):
swear the Hagnox gone. Since somebody to the quick backstore.
We need some ic and man extension corn, a can
of beans up had some diy rides, a box of
tampons and Marburl lines. Everybody says cheese. Merry Christmas from
(10:47):
the fan mole. There's that note I couldn't find in
that other side. Frin and Rada dry from our gin.
I can't remember how I'm ken to them. Were there
(11:08):
trying to plug their motor home in the blue eyes
Christmas lights? Gus in day to just what went wrong?
So we all waited out on our front lawn. It
through a breaker and the lights came on and we
(11:29):
sang silent, not a silent called the turkey turned the
ball game on, mate, Bloody Mary's coll on. Send somebody to.
Speaker 11 (11:53):
To stop and gone.
Speaker 12 (11:56):
We need some celihenn, a can of bake no, a
bag of lemons and some byes sprides, a box of
tampas and save alots, and everybody says, jeez, Merry Christmas
from the fan b.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
For snobs, I'm like, good morning, and the big shows
(13:07):
on the radio and we're twenty minutes away from Tatter
and Tama news. Right now, it's time for the grumpy
old man.
Speaker 13 (13:19):
A cheese and pineapples. I'm old and I hate anything
to do with Christmas. In my day, we didn't have
any big fancy mauls to go to. If we wanted
to give someone a gift, we'd find some poor dead animal,
throw solid in the snow, stick a bowl on it,
(13:41):
and give it to our sweetie. Or we go out
in the barnyard and get handfuls of mule dung and
make up poop bunny. Hey, look at me, I'm handing
out dead animals and crack runners.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
I'm a stupid jackass hop dood dang.
Speaker 11 (14:01):
And we liked it that way.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
We didn't go for all that peace on garbage on Christmas.
Speaker 13 (14:10):
We get licked up on for minute gopher in it
and go around town beating the daylights out of the
people who screwed us over the past year. Then we
cut their ears off and staple under the barn door.
The one with the most ears got to sleep with
the town floozy. Then we get herpes and our privates
(14:31):
and fall off. Hey, look at us, we're a bunch
of in a drinking floozy humper year hot and barbarias.
Come on, help us find our winkies. Ye but dip
but dingly do.
Speaker 14 (14:46):
And we liked it.
Speaker 5 (14:48):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
And it weren't no pretty trees sitting in the middle
of the house neither.
Speaker 13 (14:56):
If we wanted to decorate something, we drag our crazy
drooling maniac spinched her hand out of the root cellar
and drake collard greens and noodles over her, and pray
else she wouldn't have one of her conniption fits in
the middle of the night and kill us all by
digging out our brains with a rusty spoon and using
our skulls as a soup bowl. Hey, lookie here, we're
(15:19):
a bunch of bass ackwards hay seeds decorating our looney kin.
And when she kills us, we're gonna go straight to hell.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Oh happy day. We're morons.
Speaker 14 (15:30):
And we liked it.
Speaker 13 (15:33):
But we did have sandy claws until the air that
stupid tubber guts dried shimmying down the chimney we're in.
That fuzzy suitor here has burst into flames. By the
time he hit the ground, he was like the human torch.
We chased hip halfway across the county, pelting him with
rocks and manure, taking bits on when he'd fall. And
(15:56):
when we were dragging his charred corpse back to the house,
we saw the reindeer on the roof. We bashed him
in the head with a shovel and filled the freezer
with venison.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
And then we buried Sandy.
Speaker 13 (16:06):
And that's layout back so we wouldn't have to spend
the rest of our lives in the jug playing house
with a four hundred pounds bruiser. Whooptie wingle wangle, We're crazy,
Sandy burning backwards maniacs. We barbecued Father Christmas and Friday's reindeer.
We should hang long live stupidity.
Speaker 14 (16:29):
And we liked it.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
We loved it.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Ah jigglely jangly Christmas steaks, h Merry Christmas.
Speaker 11 (16:41):
Right back as you.
Speaker 7 (16:47):
Good morning is a big should radio helly you lindsay,
premise here when I'm on this side of the pond,
I get my daily dose of culture and edification every
morning from these two delightful john Boy and Billy right
here on the big ship.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
You know, I hate to break it to you, boys,
but where I come from. You're all Yankees?
Speaker 11 (17:10):
Who will? I thought it was baddy, Good morning.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
And Merry Christmas on this December eighteenth, and the big
jokes on the radio.
Speaker 15 (17:54):
I'm sorry, I'm getting up.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Friends arebery Organs. Theirs are buzz the holiday cheer rocking out,
I mean hook at Christmas lights up to this song. Yeah,
there's plenty of them on the internet doing that. Yeah
you know those, Uh I am? It shows nice? All right, Well,
y'all never mind, we'll just look at him like it.
Speaker 5 (18:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Uh but I will tell you John Boys wonderful thing.
Giveaway number one hundred and twenty eight is up a
brand new waffle house ball cab with embroidered logo and
a camo bill. And you don't look good Styland pro
islan in a wabble house? What's your name of the hat?
And to make show dot com and good luck. I'm
(18:42):
looking for a place to get out of this home
and I can no, it never ends. No, we'll just
say Tater Taman news in minutes. All right, we'll just
listen to it privately. Yeah, you get to work there,
Tator Tacho.
Speaker 11 (18:54):
What all right?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
That was a good ending, Thank you? That was that
high point was Good Morning Bike Shows on the radio.
Coming up, we played John boyd Jebite. You can win
on a sort of a small batch hand cooked peanuts.
What's that cooking deal they use at Birt County Peanuts
ter Fry.
Speaker 16 (19:15):
It is so good.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
A Southern tradition for over one hundred years, and we
tell you all about it this year so you can
check it out. The gifts for family, friends and clients
making part of your Christmas tradition starting this year, we
gotta good way for you to do it and a
co JB B at checkout and get twenty five percent
off plus free shipping when you shop online Birt County
(19:37):
Peanuts dot Now to just click on the link at
the Big Show dot com. Hang on play for it
in minutes. Right now, it's time for Tater Taman news
and here's our girl, Marcay Tater Morans.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Alright, some legal news.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
First.
Speaker 17 (19:54):
P Diddy is giving up on attempting to get out
of jail ahead of his criminal trial in May. I
bet you didn't know, but he made several attempts. His
legal team filed a motion to dismiss an appeal after
being rejected three times over the concerns of possible witness
intimidation as well as being a flight risk.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
So he did he puff daddy whatever.
Speaker 17 (20:16):
He will remain in custody in Brooklyn for at least
the next six months. The trial is set to begin
on May fifth, and that's according to CBS News.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
I know you're also concerned about Taylor and Travis.
Speaker 17 (20:30):
They do.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
What's the love life?
Speaker 17 (20:31):
Like?
Speaker 3 (20:32):
She had a birthday?
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Did he know?
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Did he respond?
Speaker 6 (20:35):
Well?
Speaker 17 (20:35):
It was looking dicey for a minute, but Travis made
it to celebrate Taylor Swift's thirty fifth birthday.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Had had to move a little bit.
Speaker 17 (20:43):
First, he had to attend a mandatory Chief's holiday party
and he was spotted in an Instagram post with the daughter.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Of the team owner.
Speaker 17 (20:50):
Then he broke out early to be with Taylor, and
a witness says the two of them celebrated privately two
three and he absolutely showered her with gifts.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
How do you shower a billionaire? Only Travis News. Anyway,
Tate didn't.
Speaker 17 (21:05):
Taylor didn't return that favor. On Sunday, though she skipped
the Chiefs game in Cleveland against the Browns. I know
several people were looking for they never showed her. She
wasn't there. Oh good, fans were hoping she would show
since the Kelsey brothers grew up nearby and played their
college ball at Cincinnati.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
So that is according to the tabloids. Thank y'all for
that minute of our life.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Those swifties look up where the Kelsey brothers played ballm.
Speaker 17 (21:30):
I mean it's their Their fandom has increased, the whole family.
Jason Kelsey's wife Kylie, she had a podcast debut and
beat out Joe Rogan.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Podcast. Her first podcast that was released.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Though, the only thing that they couldn't do is get
Kamala elected president. That shows how bad she was couldn't
move the elections. How good everything else?
Speaker 14 (22:01):
All right?
Speaker 17 (22:01):
Yeah, for that, I think she touches his gold. Hey,
jay Z probably probably regret and being friends with P Diddy.
He is fighting for his reputation, his business and lucrative
partnerships with the NFL, to name a few. They had
selected the Super Bowl halftime performer for this year well
for in January. Rock Nation signed a five year deal
(22:24):
in twenty nineteen worth twenty five million dollars, and the NFL.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Renewed that partnership just two months ago.
Speaker 17 (22:30):
So Roger Goodell said that the NFL will avoid a
knee jerk reaction to jay Z's legal entanglements until it
has its due process.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
So, you know, so he is a super Bowl entertainment
of this book.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I believe his I'm sorry his. I think it's his
his business rock motion.
Speaker 13 (22:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 17 (22:49):
So Beyonce, though, is booked for the Christmas halftime show.
She will be performing the halftime show with Mariah singing
during the pregame. Netflix has there's stuff together and they're
streaming glitches.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
They say, we'll risk.
Speaker 17 (23:03):
Ticking off football fans. So Netflix gets football on Christmas.
But jay Z, I'm just backing up. He was named
in a civil suit claiming that he was with p
Diddy at the two thousand MTV Video Music Awards when
there was some yes, you know, with an underage girl.
Speaker 10 (23:24):
If he's not, if he's not telling the truth, he
has the most conviction of being innocent I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
He must be.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
He'll either be the biggest liar or.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Or just was really at the wrong place at the
wrong time.
Speaker 17 (23:38):
Thing.
Speaker 16 (23:39):
I totally agree because they've been saying things that he's
been saying about it or his attorney, and I'm like
if he's down, if he's lying, he's damn good at
I've seen, yes, sir jay Z.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Yes, well, don't know you're talking about. All I know
is Snoop Dogg's somewhere getting.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
High, trying to sell mobile phones and.
Speaker 11 (24:12):
Martha Store.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
I had enough of him. I've had enough of Peyton
Manning now that you mentioned Peyton Manning whatever, getting the
Bayton Manning, just shut up and Christmas. Yeah, that's pretty good,
that's pretty good. All right, you were probably finished anyway.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
Well I'm going to finish now, all right, good work.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Though, baby. I had enough of this whole entertainment biz
right there. All right, well, let's play. Let's get us
a weather like this. You told me to do it.
Let's play John Boy Jeopardy. All right, good? Uh see
review yesterday's question. We found out, according to a recent
(24:53):
survey among mall shoppers, this is the number one gift
they hope to receive this Christmas cash. Gosh, all shopper,
just give me cash and get me out of here.
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. Even though this is consistently voted
as the world's most despised Christmas song, it still ranks
(25:13):
in the dough every holiday season from radio, airplay, streaming
services and merchandising.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
What is John Boys Christmas trumpet of.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
I'm glad I got to take a bet space in
your head? Babe. No what y'all got one eight hundred
Big Show you told free line?
Speaker 12 (25:34):
We go?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Do we get the winner? We play John Boy Jeopardy next, Yeah,
(26:03):
morn it's a big shoe already. I'm going to do
your Wednesday hum day before Christmas Days seventy eighteenth fature
track from The Big Show bed Box heint scene It's
all I want work. Christmas is beer. Don't forget words
Christmas beer. When you hit a big spot that the
Big Show dot com in right now it's fife. Yeah's
(26:26):
live across America.
Speaker 10 (26:27):
It's John Boy jepany and now a man who believes
no space seems emptier than the space where a Christmas
tree used to be.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
That's why he lives his up until Eastern Well that
and you know lazy. He's John Boy that make anywhere
say had a day mad out of Galina, Kansas. Good
morning David, Well, good morning, John Boy. How you doing man?
I'm just having to sit on both hands, so I
quit waving the people three four.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Don't sit on them hands too on you my lodging, They.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Gotta work my knobs. David, all right, I'm out. David.
You got the first shot at John boyde Everty this
morning for the bird Tea County Peanuts Prize back that
everybody's wonting. Even though this is consistently voted as the
world's most despised Christmas song, it's still racing the dough
(27:27):
every holiday season from radio, airplay, streaming services, and merchandising.
What do you think it is?
Speaker 8 (27:36):
Well, I can only think of one song that would
do that to everybody, and that's that Grandma got ran
over by a reindeer thing.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Ah, yeah, you know, doctor Elmo. You know saying that
about me last year. I don't want to talk.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
About it didn't improve.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Well, let's see if this is what we're looking for,
show us grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Yes, she did.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Like their elbow rams, sure, I mean that barking dog thing.
That's pretty annoying. Yeah, I kind of like that. So
some of the licensed merchandise for that man, that's crazy.
Hallmark greeting cards and ornaments, mugs, plush toys, clothing, betting,
bobble heads, children's books, DVD's of the animated special, scratch off,
(28:25):
lottery tickets, and countless other holiday items. Wow, what about
didn't we have that Big Show video that you put together?
So you're gonna do that before Christmas? So we'll we'll
just cut that out one one place you won't have
to see it.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Someone's got to break the change.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
We need to pay royalties again. I forget that. Anything
to make a dollar, right, let's get them bird Tea
County Peanuts to David over in Galena, Kansas. David, you
hang on, Jackie, hook you up, all right. I do
appreciate it. You guys have a good Christmas now, all right,
buddy appreciation David Man, Christmas. All right, we're gonna jump out,
(29:09):
catch you up on your news. On the other side,
when we think about time capsule of the De Simitar eight,
the mayor of Dismal Seapets making the.
Speaker 13 (29:46):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 18 (30:03):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the Cave.
As our story opens, an unsavory cowboy calls down into
the mouth of a dark cave in the hills of
gold rush country near Dothan, California.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
All right, sharp, you need to come on out of
there while you still.
Speaker 15 (30:27):
Can't get bet you no good chirt par okay.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Girly had time for you to do your thing. Uh
are you sure about this?
Speaker 17 (30:37):
Bell?
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Lay out the deal and see what he says.
Speaker 15 (30:41):
Recky Reggie, Hello, sweet fancy Moses, What fresh.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Hell is it?
Speaker 6 (30:51):
Ricky?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
I need to talk to you, Hones.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
You and me ain't got nothing to say to one another.
Speaker 6 (30:58):
Curly Bell don't want to queue you. He just watched
the gold.
Speaker 15 (31:02):
No way I do them nuggets out of the ground
with my own two stubby little hands. I had handed
it over that and load down. No good man, killing woman,
stealing jackass. I wouldn't even tell you where it was
that we was married.
Speaker 6 (31:16):
Ricky, you look to be in purty mad shame.
Speaker 15 (31:19):
You think Kurni Bill's been chasing me for two solid days.
They got two broke gardens and a bullet hole in
my belly.
Speaker 6 (31:26):
Uh, Old, Doc Weisser's up there at the mouth of
the cave with Bill right now.
Speaker 15 (31:30):
Is there anybody in this town that Keurny Bill ain't
got this yes, pucket, Ricky, tell.
Speaker 6 (31:36):
Me where the gold's at and I'll go back and
tell Bill and he'll send knock down to patch you up.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
I forget it. By the way, why would I tell you?
Speaker 15 (31:44):
Of all people, you're the hoarny little skak, a part
of us that rune off with curry Bill last week?
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Anyhow, what could I say? Things happened?
Speaker 5 (31:54):
Hey? Did you just undo my britches and what you
wrote me over rubbing my belly?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Fur woman?
Speaker 15 (32:02):
This ain't no time for one of your dead gums
twisted little snecks to page Ricky.
Speaker 17 (32:06):
This hair is a.
Speaker 6 (32:07):
Full stack of dynamite and I'm fixing to put it
up by that personal space.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
Do what now?
Speaker 16 (32:17):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (32:18):
The other end of this wire is up to a
plunger up at the mouth of the cave. If you
don't tell Bill where the gold is, Hey's gonna bly
you from here to the kingdom.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
Gub Well, I got news for you. You and him
could both go. I can't read.
Speaker 14 (32:36):
I can't read.
Speaker 6 (32:39):
Where's the gold? That Ricky?
Speaker 5 (32:41):
Woo whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Speaker 15 (32:44):
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hold on a second.
I feel like a dead corn dog. All right, all right,
you got me. The gold is behind the house. Go
straight out the back door, about one hundred yards over
the ridge. It's under that big rocket looks like an Indian.
If you get to the Indian, that looks like a rock,
you went too far.
Speaker 6 (33:05):
You done the rock thing, Ricky, All right, now.
Speaker 15 (33:07):
Get up there and send that doctor down here. How
about taking a stick a dinabite with you. You just
sit tut loose eight day you Betteredick darlade. You Judy
is scariot. You broke my heart, but I love you anyway.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
You don't know here a woman, Okay, okay, I'm cobbed.
What do you say?
Speaker 11 (33:29):
He said?
Speaker 6 (33:29):
You're a shipless goofy look of jackass.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
And you ain't even got the brains to push down.
Speaker 11 (33:34):
On that plug.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Jer We hope you've enjoyed. John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 5 (33:48):
Thought it was only one stick a din of my.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Burden killed in again.
Speaker 18 (33:54):
Next time, when we'll hear the crusty old gold buyer
in Sacramento say.
Speaker 2 (33:59):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. I do
it take two, John boyam Billy, I tell you what man,
it dang on n r's all rights Man, Big Insurance.
You get it with this member man night like that,
you get a twenty thousand dollars. Your arm blows off man.
Speaker 14 (34:17):
Good morning radio, done right, Good Wednesday morning, the big
(34:49):
show is on the radio.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Well, there's always something exciting happening and beautiful little Dismal
seep in South Carolina. Here to tell us all about it,
the mayor himself, the Honorable Merwin Coop Fiddle Swoop. Good morning,
mister Mayor. Good morning, John Boy, and to all your
wonderful listeners. Hell, the holiday season is here, and you
always do something special.
Speaker 9 (35:11):
So what have you got forced today? He surprisingly astute question,
John Boy. Well, as you know we hear in Dismal
Seepage love doing things the whole family can enjoy. But
every once in a while we like to do something
for just the grown ups. And I'm so happy and
proud to announce our first annual International Happy Naughty Nudes
(35:34):
Year Festival.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
So what does that mean?
Speaker 9 (35:37):
A fair question, John Boy, And what I expected. It's
really to celebrate the grand opening of one of our
newest businesses in Dismal Seepage, Buns Up and Wheeland naturist
camp and the founders Lloyd buns Up and Misty Wheeling.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Well, Dismal Seepage has a nudist camp. Gee, I wonder
where I heard that. Well, all right, everything else aside
seems like the wrong season for a newdest celebration.
Speaker 9 (36:05):
Well, the winners tend to be very mild here, John Boy.
And it's a good thing too, because this will be
a non clothing event.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Wait a minute, there's gonna be naked people running all
over Dismal Seeping You say that like it's something new.
We got a lot of weirdos running around here.
Speaker 9 (36:19):
Paths so wants to run down. I'm so glad you asked,
John Boy. As usual, the big parade down Main Street
will be something to see. The Ann Hathaway School of
Breast Augmentation marching band will be on hand, followed by
the stripped down clown troop nagging clowns. They paint their
whole bodies. It's a it's a wild scene, man, I
(36:43):
don't suppose you help with the painting. The Shriners will
also be on hand, naked Shriners, well sort of. They'll
have their fez hats on their lap.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
I mean, you know, somebody wants to see that. Well,
I can't wait to hear the attractions you're bringing the
Then why wait, John boy?
Speaker 9 (37:01):
This festival truly is international. All the way from Germany,
the boosting halton kens and flopping naked dancing girls will
be putting on shows all weekend naked.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
If they want their check to clear, they will be.
Speaker 9 (37:16):
But it's not just for the guys. We've got something
special for the ladies too. It's an exotic type of
Chippendale's show all the way from Hawaii. Yes, it's the
kamandisia pp all male review.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Will they be handing out lace?
Speaker 9 (37:30):
We can't let the weekend go bye with it without
some sort of an athletic component. So all the way
from China we've got Dong Pong. Wait, no, that's a
bit much. Relax, Francis, it's not what you think. Dong
Pong is the Chinese all nude table tennis champion from
the Winky Dink Province.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Alright, to be clear, he does use a paddle to
hit the ball right.
Speaker 9 (37:55):
And the closing night concert, the closing night concert, it
will feature high Beam Hattie and her naked Nightingale.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
I hesitate to ask but will there be foods?
Speaker 9 (38:07):
Yeah, we got a couple of food trucks, Harry's hot
Dogs and Tina's Tacos. I was expecting hooters, and you'll
see plenty this weekend.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
So I finally figured out why you're doing this in
the winter. You'll be able to blame the cold for shrinkings.
So come on down this weekend.
Speaker 9 (38:27):
For the first annual Dismal Seapitch International Naughty Nudesier Festival.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Just bring the skin you're in.
Speaker 11 (38:33):
You'll have a ball.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Where they're supposed to gar their wallets. I'll show you
good morning all big shows on your radio. Hello, you
perky early risers.
Speaker 19 (38:48):
Here's just the thing to wake you up and get
your blood pumpy, the John Boy and Billy Big Show. Why,
before you know it, you'll be bouncing off the walls
just like me. Ouh wah uahuba.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
See what I mean?
Speaker 13 (39:16):
M Please not a bell?
Speaker 11 (39:49):
No, no, the bells. I hate the bell when you've
got a bell.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Oh no, It's a big show on the radio for
your Wednesday morning, The seven eighth and minute Sherman Pratt,
The Big Show. Bratt. You know, yes, Christmas is all
about the kids. The Sherman's older brother playing with Jive
Mother Mary tonight in Charlotte, North Carolina. I can't remember
(40:16):
the venue. I know it's in uh Node section of
Charlotte's the cool Hip section that is coming up with
the Loso section the south end of Charlotte, North Carolina
as well where we are located. I would keep naming
some geography, but that's all I know. Give you all
time to find out where give Mother Mary is playing tonight.
Speaker 3 (40:40):
They're playing at the Evening Muse.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
The Evening mus and we will be there.
Speaker 16 (40:48):
That's why it was important for us to find out
where where you're headed.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Your attitude the evening me you would like to see
us and experienced Jive Mother Mary my new favorite Southern man.
The next generation. We'll see in the evening news news
Seanne on Carolina Tonight. Show time is like about seven
pm something like that. Correct, The doors open at seven.
(41:13):
All right, don't worry, we'll.
Speaker 13 (41:15):
Get you home.
Speaker 10 (41:15):
Put you to you know, for the guy who's telling
us all about it, you don't really seem to know
much about it. I knew everything except the name of
the glove. I got it, even the music. All right,
Jackie is driving anyway.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
That's all you're going to know where he got that, right,
He goes, don't Sherman Pratt, The Big Show. Brad is
up next. All right, thanks falling Together. Big Show rolls
on
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Two Guys, Five Rings: Matt, Bowen & The Olympics
Two Guys (Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers). Five Rings (you know, from the Olympics logo). One essential podcast for the 2026 Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics. Bowen Yang (SNL, Wicked) and Matt Rogers (Palm Royale, No Good Deed) of Las Culturistas are back for a second season of Two Guys, Five Rings, a collaboration with NBC Sports and iHeartRadio. In this 15-episode event, Bowen and Matt discuss the top storylines, obsess over Italian culture, and find out what really goes on in the Olympic Village.