August 20, 2025 • 45 mins
Wednesday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, it’s National Radio Day - or as most people know it - "Wednesday".. - Yesterday was Bill Clinton’s birthday - so we brought audio from a one of his speeches that didn’t go so well.. - Marci has a new Tatertainment report.. - We call our agent, Murray and only get some poetry from Ceil - and more bad ideas from Murray.. - AstroNerd tries out some jokes about golf.. - Comedian Rodney Carrington shares one of his golfing stories.. - We fill a request for our own Former Police Officer, Donnie Pressley.. - and John Boy whines about picture day…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You have more than ever bout there.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
You got a big show on the radio, right, big
showing radio.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Ah, let's take any news matter sports.
Speaker 4 (00:09):
This is Spanky from the Yellow Rose, and you're listening
to the greatest morning show and recorded history of broadcast radio,
John Boy and Billy Big Shows.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
How big is it?
Speaker 5 (00:20):
Bigger than my head?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
And that's big.
Speaker 5 (00:25):
There.
Speaker 6 (00:25):
Yeah, o b I read it and I'll.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Pay that tabby a sea, dead beat Coga doodle noo,
(01:05):
up and at them. It is Wednesday, August twentieth, twenty five,
thirty days has some tune I remember, Yeah, thirty one
days in this month of August. We're eleven to go.
Because you're wondering, Okay, I got that down. Hello, hey,
(01:26):
let me look up. Hey hey, that's trying to awaken myself.
It's National Radio Day, all right, perfect, we're on the radio.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
You're listening to the video.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Buddy, you know, been going through stuff that of course,
my wonderful things that have been given away and been
bringing this stuff from over the years. So we had
wives cleaning out a bunch of my section of the basement. Yeah,
she has a different word for it, My buddy, ten
(02:07):
miles back in Graham, North Carolina. Anybody noticed ten Miles
tell him, Hey, I need to see him again. It's
been a while. We went to radio school together, and
uh it was back when I came back home to
do a deal like in the courtse Square and Graham
when we were on the when we first got on
the station in the Triad area.
Speaker 7 (02:29):
Already been on that. You'd already been in radio and
then you came back and.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Took Uh no, no, I went for an appearance.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Okay, he didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Kind of run them all together.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Radio school was years before.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It was just like a six months course. You know,
I nailed it, you know, you know me, if I
say in school too often, I mean too long, then
I'd lose, you know, trick of what I'm trying to do.
Hey that's quite a voice you got there. You ever
think about doing radio?
Speaker 6 (03:02):
And the rest is history?
Speaker 8 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So anyway, and I was gonna say something about ten Miles.
Oh yeah, well I thought I'd have to go to
college to take radio ology. Yeah, he told me no,
you know, so we went to that six months borrowcussing
school together. Yeah. So anyway, it worked out.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
That could have wound up a lot lot worse.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
So yeah, like like X rays and shuff Yeah.
Speaker 9 (03:28):
I.
Speaker 6 (03:30):
Developed X rays there used to have to develop them.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Man. All right, well this radio day, this is the
radio that we're on right now. Yeah, okay, good And
it's Chocolate Pecan Pie Day.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
I can get on board.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Okay, oh wait, do that. And it's Bacon Lover's Day.
Oh you're meant to be here too, how about that?
All right, y'all, hang on, We got a hug and
we'll get the winning beginning on the radio on this
radio day. In minutes, we are away Big shows on
(04:03):
the radio. Bye radio man, Good morning, Big shows on
the radio. Let's get that purse pass back out is
radio day and you're ruining it isn't a storm of
the swag from World Lawn Mowers, the best value zero
turn mowers on the market, World Long, tough on grass,
(04:25):
easy on your walle to check out the link when
you click it at the Big Show dot Com. It
gives you three days in history where we're gonna categories.
All right. Nineteen seventy four, Nolan Ryan of the California
Angels became the first major league pitcher to be clocked
at over one hundred miles an hour one hundred point
(04:46):
four miles an hour. He pitched his three hundredth victory
on July thirty first, nineteen ninety and he was the
twentieth pitcher to reach three hundred wins. You get those
peas the knees. Old nobleman blew up to nineteen ninety.
Ike Sewell died in Chicago at age eighty seven. He
(05:08):
was an All America football player the University of Texas,
and he invented the Chicago style deep dish pizza. You
go like man football player in Texas?
Speaker 6 (05:21):
You what retirement did him?
Speaker 5 (05:23):
Nice?
Speaker 10 (05:24):
Dog?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
See we could do that when everything's already been invented.
Oh finally was on this date. In ninety seven, an
eighty eight year old man had to be rescued twice
from a burning hotel in Ontario. After being successfully carried
from the burning building the first time, the man went
back into the hotel through a rear entrance. He returned
(05:47):
to his room and was overcome by smoke. Firefighters then
re rescue the man, who they later learned had returned
to get his teeth.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Oh nikes, yeah, costs a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I knew it gonna be a teeth or a pet.
Yeah all right, well there you go one eight hundred
Big Shows you told free line. Come on play Outbursts
next good Wednesday Morning. That's a big show on the
(06:38):
radio for August twenty, twenty twenty five. Our future track
for the Big Show. Bit box, yah boy hates Picture Day.
Search for key words picture day and then the box
at the Big Show dot com click out on their
contest one you can't get through. We'll call you.
Speaker 9 (06:59):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Last night Upburst, Let's play Outburst. It's the game that
anyone can win. John Boys and Billy give your prizes
from the big Prize being. Let's go ma contested number one.
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing Upburst.
Speaker 10 (07:22):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Love a big shots pat say hid a Christopher from
Bristol Ergin.
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Yeah shots, Good morning, Chris Dever there you are.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Good morning, buddy, Good morning. What all right? Well, let's
get you through these three categories. Christopher, get you that
swag from world lawn moweres. You're getting up burly with us.
You ready five seconds? Give us three baseball positions? Ready go.
Speaker 8 (08:09):
Picture picture Thirch basemen by bam.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
All right, all right, now let's go to category number two. Chris,
we need three types of pizza crust. Ready go the
ish the curse.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
First, Bambo my favorites for the win.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Three things you see in a hotel? Ready go.
Speaker 8 (08:45):
Are gigging bathing?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Bam bam bam. Specify no Crispi. Chris, congratulations, my body,
you go ahead. I give this shell out to my
brother Luke Jane White. You pious grab all right, man,
(09:11):
good deal, Right well, Christmas, appreciate you and your bud.
Listen to the big show. You hang right there, my man.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
You sir.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
All right, were jumping out what went on around you overnight?
Then all remembering Rapern's first day, this morning, find a
good old Raven. That's good, good morning, the big shows
(10:04):
on the radio. Myrtle Beach is the mini golf capital
of the world. Rafferts here with that and some other
thoughts on the gentleman's game.
Speaker 12 (10:14):
Yeah, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, maybe the capital of the world.
And it comes to miniature golf courses, got about fifty
of them. But I noticed that probably the first miniature
golf course in this country was in the late nineteen twenties,
and a fellow named Garnet Carter, who owned the Fairyland Inn,
a hotel outside Chattanooga, Tennessee, created more than a distraction.
(10:34):
His course was different from other forays in the mini golf.
It had hollowed out tree trunks and nomes. Carter's brainchild
became a fad. In August of nineteen thirty, the Commerce
Department estimated that of the twenty five thousand mini golf
courses in the country, more than half had been built
since January of that year.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
I like golf.
Speaker 12 (10:55):
I guess played on one of those first ones at
Myrtle Beach way back yond in the thirty Sometimes I'm
like golf because there's something so genteel about it. Civilized
it used to be, and now seems to be. The
yahoos prevail. I observe that when I spent a season
as a ranger on one of the hilton Head golf courses,
Sea Pines, I'd see some golfers making a mockery out
(11:16):
of what most of those who came there to enjoy
peace and quiet of that lush land by the sea.
Some at hoot and holler and drive their golf carts
up on the residence yards looking for lost balls, too
lazy to get out and walk a step of the way.
I think about how it used to be on country
club golf courses. There were no shorts and no golf carts.
(11:36):
Golfers walked when the course was crowded. Caddies were mandatory
to keep from holding up play. And I see the
pros play on television. The Masters has remained genteel Bori's
behavior is just not tolerated from golfer and fans alike. Yes,
golf remains a gentleman's game. Roberty Rafer, John Boyn Billy.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Show, Good Morning, Big Show's on the radio. All right,
(12:24):
here's that gall Good morning, Big Show.
Speaker 13 (12:27):
Well, good morning there, John Boy and Billy, and good
morning to all their beloved friends out there in radio land.
That says a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sword
of Joshua, Independent full of Gospel of Pennecostal Assembly, just
off State Road twenty three on the Frontage Road. Feller
come up to me the other day, says freature. My
(12:47):
boys is wearing me out, wanting to go see this
new movie about Superman. I see it's a PG thirteen,
So I figured, probably ain't got much sex and bad
language in it and whatnot. Reckon it all right, let
him go see it. I said, sure, if you don't
mind starting them off down the road to perdition. He said, ah,
(13:09):
come on, now, you ain't saying old Superman's of the devil,
are you? He stands up for truth and justice in
America and whatnot? I said, well, he used to. But
as before, that whole unsaved crowd out there in Hellywood
got a stuff that's right, Beloved Superman is a flaming
(13:29):
dart from the Devil's quiver, and it seemed right at
the souls of America's young people. Oh you might not
like to hear that today, mister modern parents, but it's
a true Let's look at the facts. First off, this
new Superman is just a little bit too pretty for
his own good if you ask me. Remember in the
(13:52):
funny books, Superman used to be a regular looking feller,
stubby legs, big old barrel chest, kind of looked like
old Johnny Weissman, you know. Best new Superman hair all
poofed up and is it me or has his little
red Man panties got about two sizeses smaller than they
used to be. Yeah, I've seen the preview for this
(14:14):
movies the other day Hamoism, adultery, consorting with the spirits
of the dead, and a side order of blasphemy on
holywood has done. Come through with another summer family fun. Fess. Friends,
you want an exciting story, come here all about the
real man who come to Earth with powers far beyond
(14:35):
those of us mortals. He ain't from the planet Kryptonite.
He's from the throne of the Universe. Much as I
hate to spoil a surprise ending for you, I'm talking
about the Lord. Come meeting missus Sunday at the Sword
of Joshua. Independent photo gosper Pennecultural Assembly just off State
Road twenty three on the Frontage Road. This as a
(14:57):
Reverend Billy Ray Collins reminding you it's time to turn
show you don't John Boyn, Billy Yo, keep them straight
up out.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
You come on me today, Because you know no Sicilian
can refuse a request on the day of his daughter's wedding.
I shall grant your requests. Someday I may ask a
favor of you, maybe a hair cut. Maybe I'll ask
you to lay down your life for me. Maybe I'll
just ask you to listen to John Boyn and Billy
on the Big Show. Would you rather wake up with
(15:37):
a horse's head or these two horses eyes?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. I
mentioned yesterday Bill Clinton had a birthday. He turned seventy
nine degrees. Yeah, I've seen some video of him walking around.
He's showing as.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Let's go back.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I got one of his wonderful speeches that we have
a file and now he's a gentleman, your next President
of the United States of America. Live on the Big Show.
Speaker 14 (16:52):
Bill Clinton.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
Good morning, This is Bill Clinton.
Speaker 14 (16:56):
See.
Speaker 8 (16:57):
A lot of people have been telling me that I
need to keep my inauguration speech short and sweet today,
So I figured what better place to try out some
of the key points and right here on John boy
and Billy's program on ninety nine point seven. So here goes.
As president of the country, I'll close down all the
topless bars.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Yeah, tell them about the one you closed down last night.
Speaker 8 (17:18):
As president, I'll bend over backwards for gay privates. In
the military.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Just be careful you don't bend over forward.
Speaker 8 (17:26):
To show the country. I'm a devoted and loving husband.
I'll shower the White House with flowers, and I tell
him I.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
Have to shower with flowerless back in Little Rock.
Speaker 8 (17:36):
I'll send my daughter Chelsea to a ritzy private school
so she can have the best possible shot at glamour.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Hey, why don't you just send her a glamour shot instead?
Speaker 8 (17:47):
As your new president, I'll stop child molesting across America.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Good thing next time. If you have three time loves.
Speaker 8 (17:55):
A president, I'll drive prostitutes out of Washington, d C.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
Just lear him some cats there like you usually do.
Speaker 8 (18:04):
Now. I don't have a lot of experience with foreign policy,
so I'll just have to study the issues a little longer.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
In other words, Hillary hasn't told him much to thank yet.
Speaker 8 (18:15):
And finally, you know, our last Democratic president, Jimmy Carter,
is a model. He's still serving America by building houses
for poor people.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Yeah great, and now he's got you to help fill
him up.
Speaker 8 (18:26):
What's somebody please get that? Damn dan Quila? Come on, well,
thank you anyway, and.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
God b.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Good morning. Big shows on the radio coming up. We
played John Boyd Jebitty always go. Do we get a
winner means with somebody with that T shirt, tumbler and
a twenty five dollars gas card. Fill up your motorcycle
from LAWD Tigers, motorcycle lawyers who ride representing injured drivers
for over two decades with Lord Tigers, you never ride alone.
(18:58):
Go to LAWD Tigers dot com. I gotta set up.
Just click on that banner at the Big Show dot Com.
Get you right there, hang on, play for it in minutes.
Right now, it's time or tat jam of news. And
here's our girl, Marcy Tater Morian.
Speaker 7 (19:15):
Thank you very much. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Oh boy starts this way. You know it's gonna be
on the hell can't she just be generally appreciative?
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Issuer?
Speaker 7 (19:29):
I'm waiting are.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Well.
Speaker 9 (19:32):
Tom Cruise is in the news because President Donald Trump
announced the recipients of this year's Kennedy Center Honors that
was brought to my attention by John Boyce. They include
Sylvester Stallone, singer Gloria Gaynor and the band Kiss Did
I say her name wrong?
Speaker 7 (19:48):
Gaynor?
Speaker 9 (19:49):
Right?
Speaker 15 (19:49):
Gloria Gaynorynor, Oh Gaynor.
Speaker 9 (19:56):
Gaydar Oh okay, Anyway, the name that was not announced
was Tom Cruise's. The President invited him to become a
member and he declined. So social media went into rumor
wheel and was like, yeah, Tom Cruise.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
I'm not a big fan of his signing, told you,
but I like, I'm sticking it to Mega and all
this kind of stuff.
Speaker 9 (20:16):
Well, an anonymous source from the Kennedy Center said that
Tom Cruise blamed scheduling conflicts as as a reason for
not being able to accept the award. Yeah, and and
and still the rumor said that seems suspect Tom is
not in production with the ceremony taping in December, and further,
the recipients simply watch from the VIP balcony swite and
(20:37):
do not present or have an acceptance speech. And Tom
Cruise would need to do, is all he would need
to do is just show up for the taping We're
taught where Donald Trump will be hosting.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Okay, so everybody just just won't just hope.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
That they just hope that he's yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
He's not doing because you don't like Trump, right, Okay, So.
Speaker 9 (21:01):
I don't know if you heard, but Taylor Swift showed
up on Travis and Jason's podcast.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Did you hear about that?
Speaker 5 (21:08):
Did you know?
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Well, there is about thirteen million views.
Speaker 9 (21:12):
The Swifties came in droves and made sure they bumped
it up to thirteen because you know, everything makes sense
with Taylor. So the excitement surrounding that sparked rumors that
she was considering a Las.
Speaker 7 (21:24):
Vegas residency at the Skier.
Speaker 9 (21:26):
So the Swifties got on there and we're coming, Oh,
you know, the life of a show girl.
Speaker 7 (21:31):
She's slow.
Speaker 9 (21:31):
You know, maybe she won't go on tour, but she'll
take up residency where show girls are in Vegas.
Speaker 7 (21:37):
But an insider debunked the rumor.
Speaker 9 (21:38):
They said that Taylor's not in talks with the Skier,
like saying it that way, spear, and she doesn't have
plans to play there. So that has been debunked.
Speaker 7 (21:48):
Well, now.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Are you still on the same podcast? Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 7 (21:55):
Well, well the other thing that does.
Speaker 9 (22:00):
The Swifties walked away from the podcast, saying that they're
convinced that she's going to be the halftime performer at
Super Bowl sixty in San Francisco. They said she dropped
several Easter eggs. She loves Easter eggs, and she was
doing it during the podcast, and if you believe the sluice,
they're saying that Taylor thanked Jason Kelsey for his forty
seven second introduction and just so happens. The forty seventh
(22:23):
concert on the Arastour was at the forty nine Ers Stadium,
which plays host to Super Bowl sixty.
Speaker 7 (22:31):
These kids really.
Speaker 6 (22:32):
Okay lot, thank you?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
Wow.
Speaker 9 (22:38):
So I bet she's proved that she drops Easter eggs
like that and they come true.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
What I was going to ask you about because that
sound a little part of it like she walked through
an orange door of her last concert and that's supposed
to mean something.
Speaker 9 (22:52):
Yeah, yeah, because her album and everything is a orange
and she took it out.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Oh wow. She was telling the Swifties what color her look?
You've got chills.
Speaker 7 (23:07):
There you go.
Speaker 9 (23:08):
Madonna celebrated her sixty seventh birthday on Saturday, just like Randy.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
She celebrated with flour.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
And alone and alone.
Speaker 14 (23:20):
You're right, okay, you're picturing.
Speaker 9 (23:29):
Moving on from that, rumors are swirling that Tiger Woodwoods
will soon propose to Vanessa Trump, who was once married
to Donald Trump Junior. Sources claim that the couple are
deep in love. And hope to exchange vowels in the
White House. According to Radar Online, Wow huh.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
There's a picture of him coming through an orange door.
Speaker 7 (23:51):
A lot of people say he is orange.
Speaker 9 (23:54):
Mattel's honoring tennis player Venus Williams with a Barbie doll
as part of their inspe Hiring Women series.
Speaker 7 (24:02):
So Venus is going to get a Barbie doll. And
last but not Lee's.
Speaker 9 (24:08):
Travis Kelcey is on the cover of g Q magazine
and has a full lost.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
Story in there. Yes, so pick up at.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Taking some heat for it because some of the pictures
are less than flattering. Yeah, and when you finished with
your copy.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Well not too shabby. All right, guys, that's all I got?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Gay or.
Speaker 13 (24:39):
What is the song?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Well, yeah, I will what sung that?
Speaker 7 (24:45):
That's her?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, let's let's say weekend. What are we going to do?
We're going to get a winner for John boyjevertick, thank
you very much.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Yeah, let's review yesterday's good idea.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
One benefit of the summertime chor is a pleasant smell
it creates, but it's not so pleasant for all involved.
That scent comes from the distress hormones that are released
during an attack.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
What is moaning the grass.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yes, you moan your grass and you're hurting your grass
smells good. Today's John Boy Jeopardy. Despite recent headlines, airplane
travel is still by far the safest mode of transportation
in the world today. And this is number two.
Speaker 7 (25:31):
What is zoom traveling?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Zoom? Yeah? What y'all got? Show? You told free life.
We go to we get a winter. We play John
Boy Jeopardy. Next, Good Bryan, it's a big show on
(26:14):
the radio. Roll into your Wednesday Home Day, August twentyth
hi fature track from the Big Show bed Box. John
Boy hates Picture Day, not for the reason you might
think I'm a good looking drascal. There's for key words
biure day. Hit a bit box at the Bigshow dot Com.
There right now, let's play yazz live across America. It's
(26:36):
John Boy Jeopardy and now your host. His disdain for
Picture Day goes all the way back to an ugly
incident with a mall Santa.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
Of course, he was thirty two at the.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Time, and he did break line peas John Boy, that
di got does that head of Charles out of Hope Mills,
North Carolina, Good morning, Charles, Good morning, Don Boy, and
the Big Rock. Yeah, buddy, Well, Charles, you got the
first shot at John boyd Jeopardy this morning. So let's
(27:11):
see what you got. Despite recent headlines, airplane travel is
still by far the safest mode of transportation in the world.
We're looking for number two. What would you say, Charles, Uh,
you see bus about how about a bus? Let's say
(27:37):
bus travel. How about that buses are safer than trains trains?
Number three? Imagine that number four boats or ships and
number five is a car. Oh all right, if you
bought well, Charles, you knew that. Don't need to be
(28:00):
preaching to the choir. You hang on, you got your
Lord Tigers prize. Back head to Hope Mills.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
Yes, sir, thank you so much. Done boy, and then sir,
I love your sir.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Thank you so much. Back at you, my boy.
Speaker 6 (28:12):
I know what.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
All right, we're jumping out, catching you up on your news.
On the other side of time capsule for this August twenties. Yeah,
that's gonna be a.
Speaker 16 (28:29):
Good laugh right on the other side.
Speaker 14 (28:59):
This is the award winning with John Boy and Billy Big.
Speaker 17 (29:03):
Show the South's number one exports.
Speaker 10 (29:14):
Oh that's all mon than that, John Boy, Billy Jack
and Robert E. Rafa who Randy, you get well soon
some we're all praying for.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
You over here.
Speaker 10 (29:25):
Reverend Ernest Lee. Since Sarah Hell, wanna send a shout
out to old friend of mine named Calvin Tucker. Actually
he ain't that old.
Speaker 7 (29:32):
I've just known him a real long time.
Speaker 10 (29:34):
I first met Calvin back when he was about eight
years old, back when I first started preaching. He had
to Blessed Hope Baptist Church. Calvin was a real sweet
young and his mama was real nice too. But for
some reason, I got the idea his daddy didn't care
for me too much. And if I be preaching, every
time I look over to Tucker's Camel's daddy be sitting
there with his whole sour look on his face.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
And now what was up with that? So it kind
of surprised me.
Speaker 10 (29:57):
One Wednesday night, had proud met miss It comes up
and says, Preacher, we want to have you over for
Sunday dinner. So on Sunday King I showed up. Calvin
come to the door and said, hey, Preacher, come on in.
Mama's always got dinner ready. I said, we smell mighty
good in here. What's she Cookingkeron says, well, it's a jackass.
Speaker 7 (30:18):
I said, do what he said?
Speaker 10 (30:20):
Yeah, it's a jackass, I said, Calvin, I believe you
must be confused and on a mistaken son, because ain't
no way your mama is in the kitchen cooking up
a jackass.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
He said, yes, she is.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Just today.
Speaker 10 (30:33):
Her daddy said, well, might as well have that old
jackass for dinner and get and now speaking up, I
won't say that. Ladies and gentlemen, Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Ah think her about high loss. I got stories for
you here. I want to tell you what about this
old Barffia God. They've told you now he's flt Las
Vegas almost every week here the gabble and left his
wife I've said it home below. Well she got about
half tired of that, start messing around with the next
door neighbor Fred.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
And one weekend Tony's flyting Vegas got castle cause of weather,
and when he came back home, he found his wife
and friend making out on the couch in the living room.
Speaker 7 (31:16):
Now you see, we'll find you out.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
He said, Hi, what's going on here? Neighbors says with Tony,
your wife's a beautiful woe. But she needs attention and
she ain't getting done from you. I know you a
dangerous man, Tony, but I love her.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Do what you gotta do.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Gabler says, all right, Fred, come here, sitting down with
me at the kitchen table. Let's work this out well.
When friend sits down, Tony pulls a pack of playing
cards out of his pocket says, all right, here's what
we're gonna do. We gonna play five heads of poker.
If you in the most hands, my wife is yours.
And if I win the most hands, you gotta move
out of the neighborhood. Never speak to either one of
(31:54):
us again. Is that fair enough? Friend says, ahright, let's
do it. Tody says, oh, what more thing? Why don't
we make it five bucks a head? Just to keep
it interesting? I had one day back to late fifty's
heard of you like this? This old preacher store, this
old country preacher. He's shaking hands at the door at
church on Sunday and he sees this shaggy looking Beatnick
(32:18):
get the receiving lie. Well, preacher gives him old skunk.
One thinks, what's this whole one? Save Willy Buger doing here?
Speaker 6 (32:25):
Well?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
A beat Dick shakes his head and says, hey, Ery Daddy,
Oh that was one wigged out serving. You just laid down.
You're blowing that chin music like Miles Davis. Man, I
dug it, In fact, I dug it so much with
that cat. Come around here with a collection plate. I
laid down one hundred skins. Preacher looked at him, says
crazy man, crazy One more church storm about rayfer Rays
(32:50):
walks in the barbershop, says how much for hair cut?
Barbara says ten dollars? Rayper says ten dollars. Well, how
much for shad? Barbara says five dollars? Sorry for setting
it down in a chair, says shaved by hand, John
(33:11):
Boy and Dilly.
Speaker 6 (33:13):
I'm gonna get in shape, but not today. I'm gonna
go get a sandwiches kid.
Speaker 14 (33:21):
Good morning radio, dumb right, good morning.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
That's a big showing the radio all over to our agents.
Was here, say who's on the desk?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Hello, man, I can incorporated s town gleams. It's shining
teeth waiting to devour the unsuspecting innocence. The glam flashball
or perhaps another career flaming out in that consuming fire
of the crew mistress known as fame. How many I
(34:20):
direct your call?
Speaker 9 (34:23):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Is this mister Pesto?
Speaker 9 (34:25):
No?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
This is yeah sale. Not your usual happy go lucky
phone grating poetry. Did they?
Speaker 5 (34:32):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (34:33):
My new boyfriend wrote that for me?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
New boyfriend? Huh so?
Speaker 9 (34:36):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Who is it?
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I'm trying something a little different. I'm dating a college guy.
He's one of those brooding bohemian types, you know, almost
completely broke, but he's got a real poet soul. You know,
we've been hanging out at Starbucks a lot, drinking lattes
and reading beat Nick poetry.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Well, if you're hanging out of Starbucks all the time,
I'm tell you why it's almost completely broke.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (34:59):
Wait, wait there's one I wrote, Duddy, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Tears stained my face as I beheld the broken dreams
of hundreds of creative souls crushed beneath the reels of
the monster truck known as celebrity.
Speaker 13 (35:15):
Is the better? Uh?
Speaker 6 (35:17):
Still a tad dark?
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Okay, Okay, I know what you want, frogs or slick
Kiddin's a furry. If you need an act who's half.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
A merry you can't meet the classics? Is a head
soul sucker in?
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Sorry, babe, he's out in La closing a deal with
George Clooney.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Really no, not really.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
On a second, hey, Mary Roses a red, violence a blue,
Jimbo and Bobby you're holding on tunes, see, he chuckled.
Let's tell you guys are perfect for each other. Hawky?
Speaker 13 (35:52):
Hello out?
Speaker 6 (35:54):
Yeah, hey, just call.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
And see if you got any gigs.
Speaker 6 (35:57):
Lined up for us.
Speaker 13 (35:58):
Let me see it? Wow, I asked, Actually have several
things marked with your names on them, including, get this,
a couple of TV shows?
Speaker 5 (36:06):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Really?
Speaker 13 (36:07):
Well, like what let's see. ABC's got one in the works.
They're having trouble casting for it. Apparently it's called Extreme
Makeover Full Body Dermabration Edition.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
I think we'll pass on that one.
Speaker 13 (36:22):
Oh okay, how about this queer eye for the cable guy.
I think Larry already turned him.
Speaker 8 (36:28):
Down that one to give him your name?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Thanks.
Speaker 13 (36:32):
Oh, here's one that's got Jimbo written all over it.
VH one. They've already lined up a deal with Taco
bell as the primary sponsor. What's it called Celebrity Fart Club.
Come on, tell me you're not perfect for that one.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I think you need to take our career a little
more seriously.
Speaker 13 (36:50):
Oh, I beg to differ you do. Yes, I need
to take your career a lot more serious.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Any idea when that might kick in?
Speaker 13 (37:00):
As the megric eight ball might say, not clear? Ask
again later.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Murray, you've never once come through with a big deal.
Speaker 13 (37:08):
For Ooh, back it down a nuts, babe. You're never
gonna land the big time gigs. You're always looking that
doc pissed off at the world thing.
Speaker 5 (37:15):
This is not the world.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's just one person in particular.
Speaker 13 (37:18):
Oh really who uh see if you.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Can guess, all right, it's a person who's made a
living for years trading on my good name, the one
who's supposed to have my best interest at heart, but
lets me down every time.
Speaker 13 (37:31):
Oh, I get it, Bobby, huh you know, just be
Cwean and me. I knew that guy was gonna be
trouble from the very beginning. Let's day, let's do a
private meeting later. We'll hash it all out in the meantime,
just to act like nothing's wrong. What so, Yeah, I'll
get back to you on that, I think look out thing. Hey, listen,
let's do the lynch thing later. Have you a machine
(37:52):
called my machine and give my love to my best style. Bobby,
that's Bailly him too, and Jimbo.
Speaker 8 (37:57):
Why call me.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 18 (38:04):
Oh I love all those fine big Crown radio Man
water Winch Cousin, Brusie walk Man, Jack Yahn.
Speaker 19 (38:18):
Boy and Belly a job boy. Billy had only two
white men never made me more. Whoa I feel so
bonnable your lift back, We walk over for your lift back.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Wow, good morning, and it's a big show on the
(39:14):
radio and you can win John Boy's wonderful thing. Number
one hundred and fifty three. This is an original autograph
copy of Break magazine from July nineteen ninety one. It
features myself on the cover doing my Demi Moore pregnancy pose.
Speaker 6 (39:31):
It's hot.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I had to eat a lot to get that pregnant look.
Personalized autograph available if you don't mind increasing the value
when somebody knows that you actually wanted this. Okay, let's see.
Oh yeah, promised astro nerd give him a shot at
(39:53):
some golf jokes this morning. He heard yesterday it was
celebrating Scottie Scheffler's win. Going in of the championship begins tomorrow.
Of it East List. All right, I guess we'll let
him in in minutes. There's a Big Show Rose on
Good Morning. Big Show's on the radio, I said, Astro
(40:13):
Nerds still celebrating the golf victory of Scottie Scheffler pulling
for him this weekend a man out of Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
I did.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
We gonna play for one hundred and twenty dollars worth
of bull snot cleaning products made in the USA in minutes.
When we play beat the Blonde, you can find bull
snot a truck stops across America. Download that bull Snot
at when you click on the banner at the Big
Show dot com. Well, a new year means a new you,
as they say, and here to put that theory to
(40:42):
the test is the artist formerly known as astro Nerd.
So you're still working on you act?
Speaker 6 (40:48):
I'm fine. How are you happy New Year? Jon Boy?
And yes, I'm still working on my act, you see,
John Boy. In the world of comedy, is this gonna
take Maybe?
Speaker 15 (41:01):
In the world of comedy, my fellow comedians and I
are always refining and perfecting our craft, searching for that
one perfect stick. Carrot top is a prop comic Jeff
Foxworthy does that whole you might be a rednick if
stuff Eli Manning does the sports stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Eli Manning isn't really a comedian, tell me about it.
Speaker 6 (41:22):
He stinks.
Speaker 15 (41:24):
But I'm working on something called Nietzsch giggles. That sounds
like a stripper's.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Name, stealing.
Speaker 15 (41:35):
So I've got asks for all these different Nietzche markets.
You know what I'm saying, boat shows and sales meetings,
Big Parma you mean big Pharma, No, big Parma, and
my Italians throw a lot of shindy eggs. But the
one I'm getting ready for is a big golf banquet.
You want to preview?
Speaker 6 (41:50):
Yeses yo awesome in all.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Right, ladies and gentlemen, let's get this over with. Here's
your headline joke, nerd five. That's one over four. I'm
that good.
Speaker 15 (42:06):
So have we got any golfers in the audience? You
think I'm a big golf guy. I love being on
the green. I like big putts and I cannot lie.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Oh god, Jackie.
Speaker 15 (42:20):
Well, of course, interesting thing about golf, No matter how
bad you are, you could always be worse, thank you.
But there's lots of ways to improve your game. Take lessons,
practice or my favorite cheat I play in the eighties.
(42:44):
If it gets any warmer than that, I get dehydrated.
S tatter of the eighties. If the guy I'm playing
against can't remember if he had a five or six
on a hole, I just put down an eight because
he's a damn liar. This guy knows what I'm talking about.
(43:04):
People ask me in my handicap. I'm telling him I
know how to add correctly. A golfer is only as
good as his clubs. I learned that a long time ago.
Never buy a putter until you see how far you
can throw it.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
Thank you.
Speaker 15 (43:22):
You know what they say. If you hit it to
the left, it's a slice. If you hit it to
the right, it's a hook. If you hit it straight,
it's a miracle. This guy knows what I'm talking about.
A friend of mine gave me a tip on how
to take five strokes off my game.
Speaker 6 (43:40):
It's called an eraser.
Speaker 14 (43:44):
Well, at least he got it.
Speaker 15 (43:48):
The last time I played, I hit two good balls.
I stepped on a ring. Golf is big on TV.
I don't know what the policy is. Calf big on TV.
You know why golf announcers whisper? They don't want to
wake up the people watching the game. I was playing
with a friend last fall. We were getting ready to
(44:08):
tee off on the eleventh hole, and then we saw
this funeral procession going past.
Speaker 6 (44:13):
My friend took off his hat. He bowed his head.
Speaker 15 (44:15):
As the hearst passed as I said, boy, that there
is a class move. It's really nice to see some
respect in this world. And he said, well, I felt
I had to. We were married for thirty five years.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
And see not great but also not great.
Speaker 6 (44:34):
So you're saying I'm getting better, Listen, I'll be back
next month. I'm doing a show for a nudist camp.
The policy on wider joes. They're not very long. Getting
more offul than you.
Speaker 5 (44:50):
Did.
Speaker 6 (44:50):
I tell you by my new girlfriend. She's a stripper
named Nietzsche.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Giggles. If I were saying, you're welcome once again.
Speaker 6 (44:56):
Damn, play a well done later.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
All right, let's just leave it with the sports tamer
and move on. Then good, let's play beating the blind
for one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bulls not
cleaning products, one eight hundred big show you toll free line.
We'll get a contestant and play next
You have more than ever bout there.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
You got a big show on the radio, right, big
showing radio.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Ah, let's take any news matter sports.
Speaker 4 (00:09):
This is Spanky from the Yellow Rose, and you're listening
to the greatest morning show and recorded history of broadcast radio,
John Boy and Billy Big Shows.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
How big is it?
Speaker 5 (00:20):
Bigger than my head?
Speaker 2 (00:23):
And that's big.
Speaker 5 (00:25):
There.
Speaker 6 (00:25):
Yeah, o b I read it and I'll.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Pay that tabby a sea, dead beat Coga doodle noo,
(01:05):
up and at them. It is Wednesday, August twentieth, twenty five,
thirty days has some tune I remember, Yeah, thirty one
days in this month of August. We're eleven to go.
Because you're wondering, Okay, I got that down. Hello, hey,
(01:26):
let me look up. Hey hey, that's trying to awaken myself.
It's National Radio Day, all right, perfect, we're on the radio.
Speaker 6 (01:39):
You're listening to the video.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Buddy, you know, been going through stuff that of course,
my wonderful things that have been given away and been
bringing this stuff from over the years. So we had
wives cleaning out a bunch of my section of the basement. Yeah,
she has a different word for it, My buddy, ten
(02:07):
miles back in Graham, North Carolina. Anybody noticed ten Miles
tell him, Hey, I need to see him again. It's
been a while. We went to radio school together, and
uh it was back when I came back home to
do a deal like in the courtse Square and Graham
when we were on the when we first got on
the station in the Triad area.
Speaker 7 (02:29):
Already been on that. You'd already been in radio and
then you came back and.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Took Uh no, no, I went for an appearance.
Speaker 6 (02:37):
Okay, he didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Kind of run them all together.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
Radio school was years before.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It was just like a six months course. You know,
I nailed it, you know, you know me, if I
say in school too often, I mean too long, then
I'd lose, you know, trick of what I'm trying to do.
Hey that's quite a voice you got there. You ever
think about doing radio?
Speaker 6 (03:02):
And the rest is history?
Speaker 8 (03:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So anyway, and I was gonna say something about ten Miles.
Oh yeah, well I thought I'd have to go to
college to take radio ology. Yeah, he told me no,
you know, so we went to that six months borrowcussing
school together. Yeah. So anyway, it worked out.
Speaker 7 (03:19):
That could have wound up a lot lot worse.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
So yeah, like like X rays and shuff Yeah.
Speaker 9 (03:28):
I.
Speaker 6 (03:30):
Developed X rays there used to have to develop them.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Man. All right, well this radio day, this is the
radio that we're on right now. Yeah, okay, good And
it's Chocolate Pecan Pie Day.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
I can get on board.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Okay, oh wait, do that. And it's Bacon Lover's Day.
Oh you're meant to be here too, how about that?
All right, y'all, hang on, We got a hug and
we'll get the winning beginning on the radio on this
radio day. In minutes, we are away Big shows on
(04:03):
the radio. Bye radio man, Good morning, Big shows on
the radio. Let's get that purse pass back out is
radio day and you're ruining it isn't a storm of
the swag from World Lawn Mowers, the best value zero
turn mowers on the market, World Long, tough on grass,
(04:25):
easy on your walle to check out the link when
you click it at the Big Show dot Com. It
gives you three days in history where we're gonna categories.
All right. Nineteen seventy four, Nolan Ryan of the California
Angels became the first major league pitcher to be clocked
at over one hundred miles an hour one hundred point
(04:46):
four miles an hour. He pitched his three hundredth victory
on July thirty first, nineteen ninety and he was the
twentieth pitcher to reach three hundred wins. You get those
peas the knees. Old nobleman blew up to nineteen ninety.
Ike Sewell died in Chicago at age eighty seven. He
(05:08):
was an All America football player the University of Texas,
and he invented the Chicago style deep dish pizza. You
go like man football player in Texas?
Speaker 6 (05:21):
You what retirement did him?
Speaker 5 (05:23):
Nice?
Speaker 10 (05:24):
Dog?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
See we could do that when everything's already been invented.
Oh finally was on this date. In ninety seven, an
eighty eight year old man had to be rescued twice
from a burning hotel in Ontario. After being successfully carried
from the burning building the first time, the man went
back into the hotel through a rear entrance. He returned
(05:47):
to his room and was overcome by smoke. Firefighters then
re rescue the man, who they later learned had returned
to get his teeth.
Speaker 7 (05:55):
Oh nikes, yeah, costs a lot of money.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I knew it gonna be a teeth or a pet.
Yeah all right, well there you go one eight hundred
Big Shows you told free line. Come on play Outbursts
next good Wednesday Morning. That's a big show on the
(06:38):
radio for August twenty, twenty twenty five. Our future track
for the Big Show. Bit box, yah boy hates Picture Day.
Search for key words picture day and then the box
at the Big Show dot com click out on their
contest one you can't get through. We'll call you.
Speaker 9 (06:59):
Right now.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Last night Upburst, Let's play Outburst. It's the game that
anyone can win. John Boys and Billy give your prizes
from the big Prize being. Let's go ma contested number one.
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing Upburst.
Speaker 10 (07:22):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Love a big shots pat say hid a Christopher from
Bristol Ergin.
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Yeah shots, Good morning, Chris Dever there you are.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Good morning, buddy, Good morning. What all right? Well, let's
get you through these three categories. Christopher, get you that
swag from world lawn moweres. You're getting up burly with us.
You ready five seconds? Give us three baseball positions? Ready go.
Speaker 8 (08:09):
Picture picture Thirch basemen by bam.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
All right, all right, now let's go to category number two. Chris,
we need three types of pizza crust. Ready go the
ish the curse.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
First, Bambo my favorites for the win.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Three things you see in a hotel? Ready go.
Speaker 8 (08:45):
Are gigging bathing?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Bam bam bam. Specify no Crispi. Chris, congratulations, my body,
you go ahead. I give this shell out to my
brother Luke Jane White. You pious grab all right, man,
(09:11):
good deal, Right well, Christmas, appreciate you and your bud.
Listen to the big show. You hang right there, my man.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
You sir.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
All right, were jumping out what went on around you overnight?
Then all remembering Rapern's first day, this morning, find a
good old Raven. That's good, good morning, the big shows
(10:04):
on the radio. Myrtle Beach is the mini golf capital
of the world. Rafferts here with that and some other
thoughts on the gentleman's game.
Speaker 12 (10:14):
Yeah, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, maybe the capital of the world.
And it comes to miniature golf courses, got about fifty
of them. But I noticed that probably the first miniature
golf course in this country was in the late nineteen twenties,
and a fellow named Garnet Carter, who owned the Fairyland Inn,
a hotel outside Chattanooga, Tennessee, created more than a distraction.
(10:34):
His course was different from other forays in the mini golf.
It had hollowed out tree trunks and nomes. Carter's brainchild
became a fad. In August of nineteen thirty, the Commerce
Department estimated that of the twenty five thousand mini golf
courses in the country, more than half had been built
since January of that year.
Speaker 6 (10:53):
I like golf.
Speaker 12 (10:55):
I guess played on one of those first ones at
Myrtle Beach way back yond in the thirty Sometimes I'm
like golf because there's something so genteel about it. Civilized
it used to be, and now seems to be. The
yahoos prevail. I observe that when I spent a season
as a ranger on one of the hilton Head golf courses,
Sea Pines, I'd see some golfers making a mockery out
(11:16):
of what most of those who came there to enjoy
peace and quiet of that lush land by the sea.
Some at hoot and holler and drive their golf carts
up on the residence yards looking for lost balls, too
lazy to get out and walk a step of the way.
I think about how it used to be on country
club golf courses. There were no shorts and no golf carts.
(11:36):
Golfers walked when the course was crowded. Caddies were mandatory
to keep from holding up play. And I see the
pros play on television. The Masters has remained genteel Bori's
behavior is just not tolerated from golfer and fans alike. Yes,
golf remains a gentleman's game. Roberty Rafer, John Boyn Billy.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Show, Good Morning, Big Show's on the radio. All right,
(12:24):
here's that gall Good morning, Big Show.
Speaker 13 (12:27):
Well, good morning there, John Boy and Billy, and good
morning to all their beloved friends out there in radio land.
That says a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sword
of Joshua, Independent full of Gospel of Pennecostal Assembly, just
off State Road twenty three on the Frontage Road. Feller
come up to me the other day, says freature. My
(12:47):
boys is wearing me out, wanting to go see this
new movie about Superman. I see it's a PG thirteen,
So I figured, probably ain't got much sex and bad
language in it and whatnot. Reckon it all right, let
him go see it. I said, sure, if you don't
mind starting them off down the road to perdition. He said, ah,
(13:09):
come on, now, you ain't saying old Superman's of the devil,
are you? He stands up for truth and justice in
America and whatnot? I said, well, he used to. But
as before, that whole unsaved crowd out there in Hellywood
got a stuff that's right, Beloved Superman is a flaming
(13:29):
dart from the Devil's quiver, and it seemed right at
the souls of America's young people. Oh you might not
like to hear that today, mister modern parents, but it's
a true Let's look at the facts. First off, this
new Superman is just a little bit too pretty for
his own good if you ask me. Remember in the
(13:52):
funny books, Superman used to be a regular looking feller,
stubby legs, big old barrel chest, kind of looked like
old Johnny Weissman, you know. Best new Superman hair all
poofed up and is it me or has his little
red Man panties got about two sizeses smaller than they
used to be. Yeah, I've seen the preview for this
(14:14):
movies the other day Hamoism, adultery, consorting with the spirits
of the dead, and a side order of blasphemy on
holywood has done. Come through with another summer family fun. Fess. Friends,
you want an exciting story, come here all about the
real man who come to Earth with powers far beyond
(14:35):
those of us mortals. He ain't from the planet Kryptonite.
He's from the throne of the Universe. Much as I
hate to spoil a surprise ending for you, I'm talking
about the Lord. Come meeting missus Sunday at the Sword
of Joshua. Independent photo gosper Pennecultural Assembly just off State
Road twenty three on the Frontage Road. This as a
(14:57):
Reverend Billy Ray Collins reminding you it's time to turn
show you don't John Boyn, Billy Yo, keep them straight
up out.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
You come on me today, Because you know no Sicilian
can refuse a request on the day of his daughter's wedding.
I shall grant your requests. Someday I may ask a
favor of you, maybe a hair cut. Maybe I'll ask
you to lay down your life for me. Maybe I'll
just ask you to listen to John Boyn and Billy
on the Big Show. Would you rather wake up with
(15:37):
a horse's head or these two horses eyes?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. I
mentioned yesterday Bill Clinton had a birthday. He turned seventy
nine degrees. Yeah, I've seen some video of him walking around.
He's showing as.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
Let's go back.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
I got one of his wonderful speeches that we have
a file and now he's a gentleman, your next President
of the United States of America. Live on the Big Show.
Speaker 14 (16:52):
Bill Clinton.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
Good morning, This is Bill Clinton.
Speaker 14 (16:56):
See.
Speaker 8 (16:57):
A lot of people have been telling me that I
need to keep my inauguration speech short and sweet today,
So I figured what better place to try out some
of the key points and right here on John boy
and Billy's program on ninety nine point seven. So here goes.
As president of the country, I'll close down all the
topless bars.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Yeah, tell them about the one you closed down last night.
Speaker 8 (17:18):
As president, I'll bend over backwards for gay privates. In
the military.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Just be careful you don't bend over forward.
Speaker 8 (17:26):
To show the country. I'm a devoted and loving husband.
I'll shower the White House with flowers, and I tell
him I.
Speaker 5 (17:32):
Have to shower with flowerless back in Little Rock.
Speaker 8 (17:36):
I'll send my daughter Chelsea to a ritzy private school
so she can have the best possible shot at glamour.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
Hey, why don't you just send her a glamour shot instead?
Speaker 8 (17:47):
As your new president, I'll stop child molesting across America.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
Good thing next time. If you have three time loves.
Speaker 8 (17:55):
A president, I'll drive prostitutes out of Washington, d C.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
Just lear him some cats there like you usually do.
Speaker 8 (18:04):
Now. I don't have a lot of experience with foreign policy,
so I'll just have to study the issues a little longer.
Speaker 5 (18:11):
In other words, Hillary hasn't told him much to thank yet.
Speaker 8 (18:15):
And finally, you know, our last Democratic president, Jimmy Carter,
is a model. He's still serving America by building houses
for poor people.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
Yeah great, and now he's got you to help fill
him up.
Speaker 8 (18:26):
What's somebody please get that? Damn dan Quila? Come on, well,
thank you anyway, and.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
God b.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Good morning. Big shows on the radio coming up. We
played John Boyd Jebitty always go. Do we get a
winner means with somebody with that T shirt, tumbler and
a twenty five dollars gas card. Fill up your motorcycle
from LAWD Tigers, motorcycle lawyers who ride representing injured drivers
for over two decades with Lord Tigers, you never ride alone.
(18:58):
Go to LAWD Tigers dot com. I gotta set up.
Just click on that banner at the Big Show dot Com.
Get you right there, hang on, play for it in minutes.
Right now, it's time or tat jam of news. And
here's our girl, Marcy Tater Morian.
Speaker 7 (19:15):
Thank you very much. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Oh boy starts this way. You know it's gonna be
on the hell can't she just be generally appreciative?
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Issuer?
Speaker 7 (19:29):
I'm waiting are.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
Well.
Speaker 9 (19:32):
Tom Cruise is in the news because President Donald Trump
announced the recipients of this year's Kennedy Center Honors that
was brought to my attention by John Boyce. They include
Sylvester Stallone, singer Gloria Gaynor and the band Kiss Did
I say her name wrong?
Speaker 7 (19:48):
Gaynor?
Speaker 9 (19:49):
Right?
Speaker 15 (19:49):
Gloria Gaynorynor, Oh Gaynor.
Speaker 9 (19:56):
Gaydar Oh okay, Anyway, the name that was not announced
was Tom Cruise's. The President invited him to become a
member and he declined. So social media went into rumor
wheel and was like, yeah, Tom Cruise.
Speaker 7 (20:11):
I'm not a big fan of his signing, told you,
but I like, I'm sticking it to Mega and all
this kind of stuff.
Speaker 9 (20:16):
Well, an anonymous source from the Kennedy Center said that
Tom Cruise blamed scheduling conflicts as as a reason for
not being able to accept the award. Yeah, and and
and still the rumor said that seems suspect Tom is
not in production with the ceremony taping in December, and further,
the recipients simply watch from the VIP balcony swite and
(20:37):
do not present or have an acceptance speech. And Tom
Cruise would need to do, is all he would need
to do is just show up for the taping We're
taught where Donald Trump will be hosting.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Okay, so everybody just just won't just hope.
Speaker 7 (20:52):
That they just hope that he's yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
He's not doing because you don't like Trump, right, Okay, So.
Speaker 9 (21:01):
I don't know if you heard, but Taylor Swift showed
up on Travis and Jason's podcast.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Did you hear about that?
Speaker 5 (21:08):
Did you know?
Speaker 7 (21:09):
Well, there is about thirteen million views.
Speaker 9 (21:12):
The Swifties came in droves and made sure they bumped
it up to thirteen because you know, everything makes sense
with Taylor. So the excitement surrounding that sparked rumors that
she was considering a Las.
Speaker 7 (21:24):
Vegas residency at the Skier.
Speaker 9 (21:26):
So the Swifties got on there and we're coming, Oh,
you know, the life of a show girl.
Speaker 7 (21:31):
She's slow.
Speaker 9 (21:31):
You know, maybe she won't go on tour, but she'll
take up residency where show girls are in Vegas.
Speaker 7 (21:37):
But an insider debunked the rumor.
Speaker 9 (21:38):
They said that Taylor's not in talks with the Skier,
like saying it that way, spear, and she doesn't have
plans to play there. So that has been debunked.
Speaker 7 (21:48):
Well, now.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Are you still on the same podcast? Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 7 (21:55):
Well, well the other thing that does.
Speaker 9 (22:00):
The Swifties walked away from the podcast, saying that they're
convinced that she's going to be the halftime performer at
Super Bowl sixty in San Francisco. They said she dropped
several Easter eggs. She loves Easter eggs, and she was
doing it during the podcast, and if you believe the sluice,
they're saying that Taylor thanked Jason Kelsey for his forty
seven second introduction and just so happens. The forty seventh
(22:23):
concert on the Arastour was at the forty nine Ers Stadium,
which plays host to Super Bowl sixty.
Speaker 7 (22:31):
These kids really.
Speaker 6 (22:32):
Okay lot, thank you?
Speaker 5 (22:37):
Wow.
Speaker 9 (22:38):
So I bet she's proved that she drops Easter eggs
like that and they come true.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
What I was going to ask you about because that
sound a little part of it like she walked through
an orange door of her last concert and that's supposed
to mean something.
Speaker 9 (22:52):
Yeah, yeah, because her album and everything is a orange
and she took it out.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Oh wow. She was telling the Swifties what color her look?
You've got chills.
Speaker 7 (23:07):
There you go.
Speaker 9 (23:08):
Madonna celebrated her sixty seventh birthday on Saturday, just like Randy.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
She celebrated with flour.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
And alone and alone.
Speaker 14 (23:20):
You're right, okay, you're picturing.
Speaker 9 (23:29):
Moving on from that, rumors are swirling that Tiger Woodwoods
will soon propose to Vanessa Trump, who was once married
to Donald Trump Junior. Sources claim that the couple are
deep in love. And hope to exchange vowels in the
White House. According to Radar Online, Wow huh.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
There's a picture of him coming through an orange door.
Speaker 7 (23:51):
A lot of people say he is orange.
Speaker 9 (23:54):
Mattel's honoring tennis player Venus Williams with a Barbie doll
as part of their inspe Hiring Women series.
Speaker 7 (24:02):
So Venus is going to get a Barbie doll. And
last but not Lee's.
Speaker 9 (24:08):
Travis Kelcey is on the cover of g Q magazine
and has a full lost.
Speaker 7 (24:13):
Story in there. Yes, so pick up at.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Taking some heat for it because some of the pictures
are less than flattering. Yeah, and when you finished with
your copy.
Speaker 7 (24:30):
Well not too shabby. All right, guys, that's all I got?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Gay or.
Speaker 13 (24:39):
What is the song?
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Well, yeah, I will what sung that?
Speaker 7 (24:45):
That's her?
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, let's let's say weekend. What are we going to do?
We're going to get a winner for John boyjevertick, thank
you very much.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Yeah, let's review yesterday's good idea.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
One benefit of the summertime chor is a pleasant smell
it creates, but it's not so pleasant for all involved.
That scent comes from the distress hormones that are released
during an attack.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
What is moaning the grass.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Yes, you moan your grass and you're hurting your grass
smells good. Today's John Boy Jeopardy. Despite recent headlines, airplane
travel is still by far the safest mode of transportation
in the world today. And this is number two.
Speaker 7 (25:31):
What is zoom traveling?
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Zoom? Yeah? What y'all got? Show? You told free life.
We go to we get a winter. We play John
Boy Jeopardy. Next, Good Bryan, it's a big show on
(26:14):
the radio. Roll into your Wednesday Home Day, August twentyth
hi fature track from the Big Show bed Box. John
Boy hates Picture Day, not for the reason you might
think I'm a good looking drascal. There's for key words
biure day. Hit a bit box at the Bigshow dot Com.
There right now, let's play yazz live across America. It's
(26:36):
John Boy Jeopardy and now your host. His disdain for
Picture Day goes all the way back to an ugly
incident with a mall Santa.
Speaker 6 (26:46):
Of course, he was thirty two at the.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Time, and he did break line peas John Boy, that
di got does that head of Charles out of Hope Mills,
North Carolina, Good morning, Charles, Good morning, Don Boy, and
the Big Rock. Yeah, buddy, Well, Charles, you got the
first shot at John boyd Jeopardy this morning. So let's
(27:11):
see what you got. Despite recent headlines, airplane travel is
still by far the safest mode of transportation in the world.
We're looking for number two. What would you say, Charles, Uh,
you see bus about how about a bus? Let's say
(27:37):
bus travel. How about that buses are safer than trains trains?
Number three? Imagine that number four boats or ships and
number five is a car. Oh all right, if you
bought well, Charles, you knew that. Don't need to be
(28:00):
preaching to the choir. You hang on, you got your
Lord Tigers prize. Back head to Hope Mills.
Speaker 8 (28:06):
Yes, sir, thank you so much. Done boy, and then sir,
I love your sir.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Thank you so much. Back at you, my boy.
Speaker 6 (28:12):
I know what.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
All right, we're jumping out, catching you up on your news.
On the other side of time capsule for this August twenties. Yeah,
that's gonna be a.
Speaker 16 (28:29):
Good laugh right on the other side.
Speaker 14 (28:59):
This is the award winning with John Boy and Billy Big.
Speaker 17 (29:03):
Show the South's number one exports.
Speaker 10 (29:14):
Oh that's all mon than that, John Boy, Billy Jack
and Robert E. Rafa who Randy, you get well soon
some we're all praying for.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
You over here.
Speaker 10 (29:25):
Reverend Ernest Lee. Since Sarah Hell, wanna send a shout
out to old friend of mine named Calvin Tucker. Actually
he ain't that old.
Speaker 7 (29:32):
I've just known him a real long time.
Speaker 10 (29:34):
I first met Calvin back when he was about eight
years old, back when I first started preaching. He had
to Blessed Hope Baptist Church. Calvin was a real sweet
young and his mama was real nice too. But for
some reason, I got the idea his daddy didn't care
for me too much. And if I be preaching, every
time I look over to Tucker's Camel's daddy be sitting
there with his whole sour look on his face.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
And now what was up with that? So it kind
of surprised me.
Speaker 10 (29:57):
One Wednesday night, had proud met miss It comes up
and says, Preacher, we want to have you over for
Sunday dinner. So on Sunday King I showed up. Calvin
come to the door and said, hey, Preacher, come on in.
Mama's always got dinner ready. I said, we smell mighty
good in here. What's she Cookingkeron says, well, it's a jackass.
Speaker 7 (30:18):
I said, do what he said?
Speaker 10 (30:20):
Yeah, it's a jackass, I said, Calvin, I believe you
must be confused and on a mistaken son, because ain't
no way your mama is in the kitchen cooking up
a jackass.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
He said, yes, she is.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Just today.
Speaker 10 (30:33):
Her daddy said, well, might as well have that old
jackass for dinner and get and now speaking up, I
won't say that. Ladies and gentlemen, Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Ah think her about high loss. I got stories for
you here. I want to tell you what about this
old Barffia God. They've told you now he's flt Las
Vegas almost every week here the gabble and left his
wife I've said it home below. Well she got about
half tired of that, start messing around with the next
door neighbor Fred.
Speaker 5 (31:06):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
And one weekend Tony's flyting Vegas got castle cause of weather,
and when he came back home, he found his wife
and friend making out on the couch in the living room.
Speaker 7 (31:16):
Now you see, we'll find you out.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
He said, Hi, what's going on here? Neighbors says with Tony,
your wife's a beautiful woe. But she needs attention and
she ain't getting done from you. I know you a
dangerous man, Tony, but I love her.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Do what you gotta do.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
Gabler says, all right, Fred, come here, sitting down with
me at the kitchen table. Let's work this out well.
When friend sits down, Tony pulls a pack of playing
cards out of his pocket says, all right, here's what
we're gonna do. We gonna play five heads of poker.
If you in the most hands, my wife is yours.
And if I win the most hands, you gotta move
out of the neighborhood. Never speak to either one of
(31:54):
us again. Is that fair enough? Friend says, ahright, let's
do it. Tody says, oh, what more thing? Why don't
we make it five bucks a head? Just to keep
it interesting? I had one day back to late fifty's
heard of you like this? This old preacher store, this
old country preacher. He's shaking hands at the door at
church on Sunday and he sees this shaggy looking Beatnick
(32:18):
get the receiving lie. Well, preacher gives him old skunk.
One thinks, what's this whole one? Save Willy Buger doing here?
Speaker 6 (32:25):
Well?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
A beat Dick shakes his head and says, hey, Ery Daddy,
Oh that was one wigged out serving. You just laid down.
You're blowing that chin music like Miles Davis. Man, I
dug it, In fact, I dug it so much with
that cat. Come around here with a collection plate. I
laid down one hundred skins. Preacher looked at him, says
crazy man, crazy One more church storm about rayfer Rays
(32:50):
walks in the barbershop, says how much for hair cut?
Barbara says ten dollars? Rayper says ten dollars. Well, how
much for shad? Barbara says five dollars? Sorry for setting
it down in a chair, says shaved by hand, John
(33:11):
Boy and Dilly.
Speaker 6 (33:13):
I'm gonna get in shape, but not today. I'm gonna
go get a sandwiches kid.
Speaker 14 (33:21):
Good morning radio, dumb right, good morning.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
That's a big showing the radio all over to our agents.
Was here, say who's on the desk?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Hello, man, I can incorporated s town gleams. It's shining
teeth waiting to devour the unsuspecting innocence. The glam flashball
or perhaps another career flaming out in that consuming fire
of the crew mistress known as fame. How many I
(34:20):
direct your call?
Speaker 9 (34:23):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Is this mister Pesto?
Speaker 9 (34:25):
No?
Speaker 1 (34:26):
This is yeah sale. Not your usual happy go lucky
phone grating poetry. Did they?
Speaker 5 (34:32):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (34:33):
My new boyfriend wrote that for me?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
New boyfriend? Huh so?
Speaker 9 (34:36):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Who is it?
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I'm trying something a little different. I'm dating a college guy.
He's one of those brooding bohemian types, you know, almost
completely broke, but he's got a real poet soul. You know,
we've been hanging out at Starbucks a lot, drinking lattes
and reading beat Nick poetry.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Well, if you're hanging out of Starbucks all the time,
I'm tell you why it's almost completely broke.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (34:59):
Wait, wait there's one I wrote, Duddy, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Tears stained my face as I beheld the broken dreams
of hundreds of creative souls crushed beneath the reels of
the monster truck known as celebrity.
Speaker 13 (35:15):
Is the better? Uh?
Speaker 6 (35:17):
Still a tad dark?
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Okay, Okay, I know what you want, frogs or slick
Kiddin's a furry. If you need an act who's half.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
A merry you can't meet the classics? Is a head
soul sucker in?
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Sorry, babe, he's out in La closing a deal with
George Clooney.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Really no, not really.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
On a second, hey, Mary Roses a red, violence a blue,
Jimbo and Bobby you're holding on tunes, see, he chuckled.
Let's tell you guys are perfect for each other. Hawky?
Speaker 13 (35:52):
Hello out?
Speaker 6 (35:54):
Yeah, hey, just call.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
And see if you got any gigs.
Speaker 6 (35:57):
Lined up for us.
Speaker 13 (35:58):
Let me see it? Wow, I asked, Actually have several
things marked with your names on them, including, get this,
a couple of TV shows?
Speaker 5 (36:06):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Really?
Speaker 13 (36:07):
Well, like what let's see. ABC's got one in the works.
They're having trouble casting for it. Apparently it's called Extreme
Makeover Full Body Dermabration Edition.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
I think we'll pass on that one.
Speaker 13 (36:22):
Oh okay, how about this queer eye for the cable guy.
I think Larry already turned him.
Speaker 8 (36:28):
Down that one to give him your name?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Thanks.
Speaker 13 (36:32):
Oh, here's one that's got Jimbo written all over it.
VH one. They've already lined up a deal with Taco
bell as the primary sponsor. What's it called Celebrity Fart Club.
Come on, tell me you're not perfect for that one.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I think you need to take our career a little
more seriously.
Speaker 13 (36:50):
Oh, I beg to differ you do. Yes, I need
to take your career a lot more serious.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Any idea when that might kick in?
Speaker 13 (37:00):
As the megric eight ball might say, not clear? Ask
again later.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Murray, you've never once come through with a big deal.
Speaker 13 (37:08):
For Ooh, back it down a nuts, babe. You're never
gonna land the big time gigs. You're always looking that
doc pissed off at the world thing.
Speaker 5 (37:15):
This is not the world.
Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's just one person in particular.
Speaker 13 (37:18):
Oh really who uh see if you.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Can guess, all right, it's a person who's made a
living for years trading on my good name, the one
who's supposed to have my best interest at heart, but
lets me down every time.
Speaker 13 (37:31):
Oh, I get it, Bobby, huh you know, just be
Cwean and me. I knew that guy was gonna be
trouble from the very beginning. Let's day, let's do a
private meeting later. We'll hash it all out in the meantime,
just to act like nothing's wrong. What so, Yeah, I'll
get back to you on that, I think look out thing. Hey, listen,
let's do the lynch thing later. Have you a machine
(37:52):
called my machine and give my love to my best style. Bobby,
that's Bailly him too, and Jimbo.
Speaker 8 (37:57):
Why call me.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
It's a big show on your radio. Thanks for joining
us this morning.
Speaker 18 (38:04):
Oh I love all those fine big Crown radio Man
water Winch Cousin, Brusie walk Man, Jack Yahn.
Speaker 19 (38:18):
Boy and Belly a job boy. Billy had only two
white men never made me more. Whoa I feel so
bonnable your lift back, We walk over for your lift back.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Wow, good morning, and it's a big show on the
(39:14):
radio and you can win John Boy's wonderful thing. Number
one hundred and fifty three. This is an original autograph
copy of Break magazine from July nineteen ninety one. It
features myself on the cover doing my Demi Moore pregnancy pose.
Speaker 6 (39:31):
It's hot.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I had to eat a lot to get that pregnant look.
Personalized autograph available if you don't mind increasing the value
when somebody knows that you actually wanted this. Okay, let's see.
Oh yeah, promised astro nerd give him a shot at
(39:53):
some golf jokes this morning. He heard yesterday it was
celebrating Scottie Scheffler's win. Going in of the championship begins tomorrow.
Of it East List. All right, I guess we'll let
him in in minutes. There's a Big Show Rose on
Good Morning. Big Show's on the radio, I said, Astro
(40:13):
Nerds still celebrating the golf victory of Scottie Scheffler pulling
for him this weekend a man out of Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 5 (40:21):
I did.
Speaker 1 (40:21):
We gonna play for one hundred and twenty dollars worth
of bull snot cleaning products made in the USA in minutes.
When we play beat the Blonde, you can find bull
snot a truck stops across America. Download that bull Snot
at when you click on the banner at the Big
Show dot com. Well, a new year means a new you,
as they say, and here to put that theory to
(40:42):
the test is the artist formerly known as astro Nerd.
So you're still working on you act?
Speaker 6 (40:48):
I'm fine. How are you happy New Year? Jon Boy?
And yes, I'm still working on my act, you see,
John Boy. In the world of comedy, is this gonna
take Maybe?
Speaker 15 (41:01):
In the world of comedy, my fellow comedians and I
are always refining and perfecting our craft, searching for that
one perfect stick. Carrot top is a prop comic Jeff
Foxworthy does that whole you might be a rednick if
stuff Eli Manning does the sports stuff.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Eli Manning isn't really a comedian, tell me about it.
Speaker 6 (41:22):
He stinks.
Speaker 15 (41:24):
But I'm working on something called Nietzsch giggles. That sounds
like a stripper's.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Name, stealing.
Speaker 15 (41:35):
So I've got asks for all these different Nietzche markets.
You know what I'm saying, boat shows and sales meetings,
Big Parma you mean big Pharma, No, big Parma, and
my Italians throw a lot of shindy eggs. But the
one I'm getting ready for is a big golf banquet.
You want to preview?
Speaker 6 (41:50):
Yeses yo awesome in all.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Right, ladies and gentlemen, let's get this over with. Here's
your headline joke, nerd five. That's one over four. I'm
that good.
Speaker 15 (42:06):
So have we got any golfers in the audience? You
think I'm a big golf guy. I love being on
the green. I like big putts and I cannot lie.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Oh god, Jackie.
Speaker 15 (42:20):
Well, of course, interesting thing about golf, No matter how
bad you are, you could always be worse, thank you.
But there's lots of ways to improve your game. Take lessons,
practice or my favorite cheat I play in the eighties.
(42:44):
If it gets any warmer than that, I get dehydrated.
S tatter of the eighties. If the guy I'm playing
against can't remember if he had a five or six
on a hole, I just put down an eight because
he's a damn liar. This guy knows what I'm talking about.
(43:04):
People ask me in my handicap. I'm telling him I
know how to add correctly. A golfer is only as
good as his clubs. I learned that a long time ago.
Never buy a putter until you see how far you
can throw it.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
Thank you.
Speaker 15 (43:22):
You know what they say. If you hit it to
the left, it's a slice. If you hit it to
the right, it's a hook. If you hit it straight,
it's a miracle. This guy knows what I'm talking about.
A friend of mine gave me a tip on how
to take five strokes off my game.
Speaker 6 (43:40):
It's called an eraser.
Speaker 14 (43:44):
Well, at least he got it.
Speaker 15 (43:48):
The last time I played, I hit two good balls.
I stepped on a ring. Golf is big on TV.
I don't know what the policy is. Calf big on TV.
You know why golf announcers whisper? They don't want to
wake up the people watching the game. I was playing
with a friend last fall. We were getting ready to
(44:08):
tee off on the eleventh hole, and then we saw
this funeral procession going past.
Speaker 6 (44:13):
My friend took off his hat. He bowed his head.
Speaker 15 (44:15):
As the hearst passed as I said, boy, that there
is a class move. It's really nice to see some
respect in this world. And he said, well, I felt
I had to. We were married for thirty five years.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
And see not great but also not great.
Speaker 6 (44:34):
So you're saying I'm getting better, Listen, I'll be back
next month. I'm doing a show for a nudist camp.
The policy on wider joes. They're not very long. Getting
more offul than you.
Speaker 5 (44:50):
Did.
Speaker 6 (44:50):
I tell you by my new girlfriend. She's a stripper
named Nietzsche.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Giggles. If I were saying, you're welcome once again.
Speaker 6 (44:56):
Damn, play a well done later.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
All right, let's just leave it with the sports tamer
and move on. Then good, let's play beating the blind
for one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bulls not
cleaning products, one eight hundred big show you toll free line.
We'll get a contestant and play next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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