September 10, 2025 • 45 mins
Wednesday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Ricky B. Sharpe can’t get enough of our Karaoke booth - today he renders “Talk English To Me”.. - Marci dishes her latest serving of celebrity justice with another Tatertainment News.. - Our own Poet Laureate, Col. Hamilton Brewster has a poem about an incident in Thurmon County.. - Archie and Edith are in for an edition of the Playhouse entitled, “Archie’s TV Dinner”.. - Our agent Murray has been knee deep in research.. - Bender Banquets joins our sponsors roster.. - We’ll fill a request for Rev. Oral Rogers.. - and Cadbury goes to the White House…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yet Morning to Make show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it in
my life. The sun's belly up, there's full everywhere, flying
through the air, and blights and bowls and hands. People
eat them with their fingers, their feet, other people's feet.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
OHI with a spreads.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
You can't imagine ribs and chicken and biscuits and whole
pigs and a great big sticky.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
That's what it's like at the Junt Boyar Bully Pig Show.
It's a buffet from start to finish. There should be
a cover charge. I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for you. Fainted like cleaning bill over my head.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
You gonna eat that.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Cale? Oh right, love this Mama Bear music. The first
time we were it was on some commercial about the
start with sometimes feeble news, stupid things. The perfect for us.
So it is a big show. Everybody y'all looking good altogether.
(01:36):
This National Swap Ideas Day, which would probably be a
good thing for us to do, short National TV Dinner Day. Now,
I know we're gonna be celebrating the TV dinner because
I guess, I guess it was our childhood when it
(01:57):
happened there, fucking I don't think Tayter ever had one
out of aluminum foil. Yeah, and not in the microwave. Yeah,
oh yeah, yeah yeah. It took like thirty five minutes
and maybe one of those. And then of course of
genius putting TV in the title because it's kids. Oh,
(02:19):
you gotta eat it front of the TV. Yeah, I
mean that's the first. You know, Now everybody eats in
front of the TV. But back then, man, you went
to the table, sat down, had your meal. Dad, it
was a TV dinner and they were hot when they
first came out of the All right, well, I we'll
deal with that a little bit later because we are awake.
(02:40):
Let's get the winning beginning. We'll do that in minutes.
Big Shows on the radio, Good morning, Got the Big
Show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
All right.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
First prize FAG one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull Snot Cleaning products. Love a bull snot a truck
stops across America. Download the Bullsnot app Hit the Big
Show dot com. Let'ten up here three days in history.
He can win you some. I'm delivered right to your door.
Nineteen fifty three, we mentioned this earlier Swanson sold his
(03:10):
first TV dinner. The idea originated as a way to
dispose of an excess of turkey that had accumulated in
the company. About that, That's why it was turkey. Did
they later branch out other meats?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (03:28):
I mean do you not remember when Swanson came out
with the Hungry Man meals?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I had rich Michigan, Yeah, meat loaf and all that
turkey slis Mary steak was always my favorite. All right?
So as we move up to nineteen eighty nine, Dion Sanders,
coach Prime Now, scored a touchdown on a sixty eight
yard punt return for the Atlanta Falcons. Just four days earlier,
(03:56):
he hit a home run and went three for four
with a New York Bigas Baseball team. Quite an athlete
on Neon Dion And then finally, on this day. In
nineteen ninety two, Peanuts comic strip character Lucy raised her
fee for psychiatric counseling from a nickel to forty seven cents.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
I mean, like, what is.
Speaker 8 (04:17):
That like three hundred percent?
Speaker 7 (04:19):
What is that's a heck of her?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Ninety two? I don't know where she's rtike set the
five cents earlier, and.
Speaker 7 (04:27):
Then she's got to make change too. Can't even just
beat fifty cents.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And she would always pull the football all the way
from Charlie Brown, cause him psychological problems, and then charging
forty seven. Sense help up.
Speaker 7 (04:39):
Okay, it's not a fan of Lucy.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I remember that. That's been like the first books. I
had a Charlie Brown book, a paper ball, a little bit. Yeah,
I love that. That Snoopy. That's why I had one.
I was a kid. Daddy had beagle dogs. You know,
I would name every one. I'm Snoopy, A Snoopy, Snoopy
two Snoopy three, George Foreman's kids. Wait, I'll do I.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
Wouldn't have guessed that Pearl and Mini Pearl.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Ali, Damn. Well there you go. Uh Peanuts, comic strips.
Let's talk about comic strips and I'll do one eight
hundred big show you told free line, come on play
out birds next good Wednesday morning. It's a big Shaw
(05:49):
on the radio. My feature track when it makes your
bit box cat buried the White House continder, our white
House neighborhood out the big box keywords white house a
run out.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Outburst. Let's play upburst.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boy Billy
gave the prizes from the big prize being let's go
contested number one.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
When you're playing Upburst.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you have a big shots.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Let's say had a record from month's corner, South Carolina.
Speaker 9 (06:39):
We shots.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Well, Hello, good morning, Regel, Hello, John Boy, Hello, Hello,
how you doing?
Speaker 10 (06:52):
Man?
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Had a month? I'm going yes, sure, Mony, I like
you man. Y'all shall have the hollering contests down there.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Richard, Yeah, way way down the road from me. Okay, yeah, no,
that's down toward Jamestown.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Okay. A lot of country around you down there.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Oh yeah, back my place, backs up, my my house,
backs up to the government. Work.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Well all right, man, awesome, nice spot.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
I don't have a pawn. I wish I did. It
would be nice, but I don't have a paw. Bah blah.
I'm sorry about that. I got me a little old
house to live in and the best looking wife a
man can have.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Well, there you go and back.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
You think you think you got a baby dog you
ought to see mine.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Let's me change ventures, Jaggie.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Well, I could send you a picture, but I don't
know how to do well. I'm not tech savage. My
granddaughter could do that.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Oh, Richard, we're glad we got you in here, Boddy.
I'll say, if we can get you through these categories
and get you one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull snock cleaning products headed down there. Yeah, she might
be good looking. Can she clean? Let's find out everybody.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, she's just a sweetheart. All right.
I got to tell you sometime how I met her.
I went in the store and I looked up my
left and she looked at me, and I smiled. She
smiled back, and I was.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Had alright, I hear you, Richard. How long ago was that?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
This October? Well, I met her.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I met her at eighty eight.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
But we got married in ninety six. Old October to
the nineteenth will be twenty nine years.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I hey you, all right? How good deal.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
We got? We got about fifteen to sixteen great grand
between the two of us.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Wow awesome? Oh yeah, Rechie was good man? You happy man?
Glad you all right? Well, let's say what we make
it's just a little bit happier with his prize backers.
Here alright, here we go. This is kind of tough.
I see our first category. See see if you can
do it, give us three frozen meal companies ready.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Swampson, Campbell and backward. Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Hold on you, we're.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Very right man.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Now three sports played during the fall. Ready go.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Baseball, football and sucker.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And for the win, three comic strips. Ready go, Peter did.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
It a minute and.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Then no more a months more living a dream when
you got your prize back head you away, Richard, gratulations,
you kiss a little lady for me?
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I sure enough, we'll can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (09:57):
You go ahead.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I'd like to give it shout out to my gorgeous
wife for now all my children. Yeah, she's the baby dogs.
I wish you could see it. Fist something now. Anyway,
I had to pull overside the roof, but anyway, uh,
and she she's the greatest. I have to I have
to say that. And my son in laws they all good.
(10:20):
And one of them, one of my son in laws,
and my youngest daughters took me to the risk track
in April.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Okay, all right, you got twelve to thirteen grandchildren.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
No, I think there's about fifteen fifteen out sometime.
Speaker 10 (10:39):
I'll get my wife to call you if she's got
the nerve, and uh, he'll tell you how much. He's
one of them waiting how long it was and all that, alright,
but looking Forard than that god blassy Richard.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Thank you boy. I'm like, all right, Jackie, find out
where we're going.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Like, I don't know what he did to screw up
with her, but it must.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Jackass Rason if his life's good looking. But w you said,
never mind, we got time right now. Remembered way from
the other.
Speaker 12 (11:18):
Side, my favorite and most perceptive commentators is no longer
(11:54):
an observer of the current scene. He would give my
present favorite, David Brooks some father for thought. Here's a
column he wrote before his death thirty five years ago,
and it applies to day. Talking about a fellow named
Sidney Harris says, on dark days when all the news
is bleak, seemed to me only three avenues left open
to the human race, mass psychoanalysis, mass conversion, or mass extinction.
(12:19):
Everybody complains about conditions or situations or sorry states of affairs,
but virtually all these conditions and situations and states are
created by human beings and not by the objective world
we live in. We are the enemies of our own
survival and welfare. In truth, we are half mad. One
part of us is reasonable and decent and mature. Another
(12:41):
part is irrational and prejudiced and infantile. In any deep
or prolonged crisis, the lunatic half takes possession of us.
Mass psychoanalysis, if it were possible, as it is not,
might give our rational selves more control over the childish
part of our nature. We might then begin to see
our bigoti trees and fears and rages for what they
(13:02):
truly are, instead of projecting them outward to others. Mass conversion,
not to a particular church or creed, but to a
simple acceptance of the basic religious truth that it is
better to suffer an injury than to do one might
permit us all to pull back from the brink of
the precipice and save our species from extinction. I see
(13:23):
little hope outside these two highly improbable courses. There's more
hatred and divisiveness in the world today than at any
time since I was born. More struggle, more conflict, more anger,
more hate, more closed minds and deaf ears and distorted vision.
Nobody will turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile
return good for evil. We've turned religion into a consolation,
(13:45):
nationalism into an idol, science into a juggernaut, community into
a jungle, education into a treadmill, law into a bludgeon,
and politics into a bloody farce. Our moral insanity is
the agent of our doom. I was written about thirty
five years ago by my favorite philosopher of our time,
Sidney Harris. Merely Robert D. Rayford, one of his disciples
(14:08):
here now on the John Boyne Billy Show.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Good Morning bas Shows on radio twenty minutes away from
Taylor Tayman News. There right now here is Oliver. Well.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Well, well, it certainly has been a while.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Frankly, I haven't had much to say since the gal's
lost all that weight roughly the equivalent to the gross
tonnage of a fully loaded garbage truck on a cargo ship.
Not only did they lose a phenomenal amount of weight,
they really cashed in when they had all that excess
(15:16):
skin removed a furniture maker in Wisconsin. Somebody Gaan bought
all of it. So if you're in a furniture outlet
store and purchase a leather sofa with a birthmark that
looks like ched Atkins in an afrowig. You're welcome. Well,
when they finally reached their weight loss goal, I promised
(15:39):
them I'd take them out to their favorite place, anywhere
their little newly artery unclogged heart's.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Desired, and they chose Cracker Barrel. Let me preach on it.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Now before I spin my little tail, you should know
that this all took place before that store. Crazy eyed
Dame and a pair of Ace Rothstein glasses decided to
impose her woke vision for a dei utopia on America's
favorite restaurant, but then had to walk it back.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I'd wager the only time she'd.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Ever been in a Cracker Barrel was to use the toilet,
and you know she wore rubber gloves and a mask.
She was big into the whole pride movement. And that's
not a red flag.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I don't know what is. And brother, was I ever right?
First of all, when you.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Pull into the parking lot, there was something so comforting
about looking up at that sign and seeing old Uncle
Herschel sitting next to that barrel, almost like being greeted
by an old friend.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
But after fifty years.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
That crazy eyed hag at home Office kicked him to
the curb. Their alternative a generic sign.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
With just the name.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Oh sure they brought him back, but really, how long
will it be before they try to sneak someone new
in there?
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Get ready to be greeted by Uncle Caitlin Jenna.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Now you still enter through the gift shop, but all
the charming much and ice was gone, replaced by rainbow
flag everything.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Remember all the DVDs of the Andy.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
Griffith Show and Goma Pile gone, replaced by Will and
Grace and sex in the City. Even the candy is
weird now, I mean, who would ever buy a big
log of San Francisco sidewalk fudge?
Speaker 7 (17:34):
Not me?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
And the bathrooms there was no more men than women.
Just he she on one door and they them on
the other. There was no long wait to be seated,
as the place was nearly empty. The new decorps was,
how to put it, delicately, crappy, gone with the charming
antique signs and vintage photos and odd collections of kitchen
(18:02):
tools and farm implements.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Instead it looked like an orthodonist's waiting.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Room, that bland, creamy paint on the walls, adorned with
what looked like kid's art projects on the walls. The
fireplace was still there, but no fire because that's bad
for the environment, you see.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Instead it was a TV with a video of a fire. Classy.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
And remember that little triangle game with the golf teas.
Oh it's still there, but all the white pegs are gone.
Our purple haired waitress with the nose ring and head
cold handed out our menus. Some old favorites were still
in there, but there were also some new offerings, things
(18:47):
like the egg white Privilege omelet Antifa's country style fake
Tofu patty with cruelty free gravy, the Wider Woke Breakfast
special with non binary eggs and reparation hash browns, Undocumented
veggie tacos with migrant friendly ingredients. We all decided to
(19:09):
play it safe and just order the things from.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
The old menu.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
My wife ordered a sweet tea, one of her favorites,
but Purple Hair brought out a glass of room temperature tea.
My wife said, where's the ice. Purple Hair began shrieking.
Fascist fascist ice is not welcome here. We tried to
reason with them, but we were told to leave. Frankly,
I was relieved. There was a Chili's next door, and
(19:35):
I wanted my baby beck Baby beck Bean. But I
guess we moved a little too slow for them, and
Purple Hair took my wife by the arm.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Big mistake.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
I don't remember much after Wifey had butted Purple Hair
and swung her around by the nose, ring miscreants and
weirdos poured out of the kitchen. One thing these people
couldn't have possibly known is that these gals had spent
years carrying around massive amounts of weight. Their muscle tone
was on point. The most these folks that ever lifted
(20:09):
was a game remote or some anti Trump sign.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
They were doomed.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Hopefully someday they'll rebuild, and in doing so, rebuild with
a bit more respect to nostalgia. It's nice to know
that the dim bulbs at Cracker Barrel Corporate have finally
seen the light.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
But we must stay vigilant. And just a bit of
advice to the Golden Corral. We like you just the
way you are. Don't push your luck.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Good morning, A lot more big shall coming up time
by Bit Begs shall picky.
Speaker 13 (20:52):
I'm ath Oh, Marcel, you picked an awful time to call. Well,
listen to the rainy. Oh, we're right in the middle
of a new control you boobe. No, no, not, you're
rating fat boy. Pull up a couple of chairs and
cut down nothing. I gotta go make coffee for the
boys so they can go on making that audio magic
(21:12):
known as did joboy b Big show, Carry on straight people.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Good morning, that will big show on the radio ten
minutes Taylertainment News. Looking at this date in history, It's September,
the tenth oh seven Democratic presidential candidate's healthy first debate
and Spanish on TV. Questions and answers are translated back
and forth, and debate address issues important to Hispanic voters,
(22:12):
such as immigration and Latin American relations, because then later
we'll just open the border and then we'll take them
all off and trouble get them all and win the
presidency again. So well, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
What are you talking about? It?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Right? The first Spanish debate with the Democrats and seven,
everybody relaxed. We'll let Ricky V handle this in song.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Morning at the Lombard depot hiring laborers. What the hell
are the saying I need a translator. I'll tell you
what I wish that you speak English. My wife learned
how to do it, and she says, dumb as a fish.
You're in my country. Learn the lingo. Take advice from
(23:11):
this old gringo. All I'm really going to need from
you is just to talk English to me. Or the
love of Pete, talk English to me.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
That that com hard. Talk English to me, Talk English
to me, nerve racking. The answer is.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Always the same, No hobbler English. You say that I'm
a racist, I should learn Spanish. Hey, partner, I'll tell
you what. You can't kiss my butt, and if you
ain't got you a green card, you better keep your
mouth shut. You're in my country.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Learn the lingo.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Take advice from this old All I'm really gonna mean
from you is just to talk English to me.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
They taught a gorilla how to do it.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Talk English to me, sign language, but still talk English
to me.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Hard to believe.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Talk English to me.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Who that's a card game, dummy ghost, that's medicine, Sonny trace,
it's what you eat your lunch off.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Puetro.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
That's an Audi cool it with a jibber jabber, genius.
Where the hell do you come from? Venus, open your
mouth and what the heck? It's like a cling on
on star trek. Don't give a crap of apacinco Domeo,
but you better get flu in if you want your payoff.
Every day is a living hell. It's like training day
at Taco Bell. Welcome to the USA. Now take a
(24:54):
clue and learn the parlay. Don't give a flip where
you come from, man, but you gotta speak American. You're
in the country. Speak the lingo. Take advice from this
old gringo. All I'm really going to need from you
is just to talk English to me. Come on, man,
(25:15):
talk English to me. Talk English to me. Doc yousday,
nerve racking, Good morning. I got a big show on
the radio coming up. We played John Boyd Jeopardy for
(25:36):
a Blue Emu Prize pack Blue Emu Pain Relief Cream
Words fastest thou stubborn, muscle, aches, joint pain, even off writers. Plus,
It's not greasy and it won't make you stink. Also
a tube of PBC OTC. It's relief cream, fast safe,
It's relief now available without a prescription.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Look for both in stores and online and Walmart, Amazon. No,
the finn retailers hang on play for it in minutes.
Right now, it's time for tat Taman news. Here's our girl,
Marcy Taylor more.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
Thank you you guys are dudes?
Speaker 14 (26:09):
Are you Star Wars fans?
Speaker 7 (26:11):
I was?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
But yeah, I lost track and kind of los.
Speaker 7 (26:18):
Okay, Well, I really don't care.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
I just wanted to tell you.
Speaker 7 (26:22):
That an iconic that, an iconic piece of Star Wars
history sold at an auction at a galactic price.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Wow.
Speaker 7 (26:33):
Wow, three point six million dollars.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
That would be more impressive if we knew what it was.
Speaker 7 (26:40):
I was gonna tell you it is the the red
lightsaber used by Darth Vader in Star Wars, The Empire
Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Oh yeah, I work.
Speaker 7 (26:55):
They thought that the top bid was gonna be between
one and three million, but Mayne up Hey, there was
a big war and it went to three point six million,
And according to the auction House Prop Store, the prop
is the original screen match dueling lightsaber used in some
of the most legendary scenes, including the moment when Vader
reveals to Luke Skywalker, Hey, that's right, I have it.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I haven't seen it yet. Let me ask you about that.
There's a picture. Is it like the cheap Ones, like
where it's just a light or I mean it?
Speaker 7 (27:39):
I mean it's the one they used in the movie,
you know.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah, but that was all done in special effects. I mean, so, no,
it doesn't have anything. It's like just a handle. Yeah,
that's right. Here's the kittures Worth it alright.
Speaker 7 (27:59):
So moving to boxing, moving to sports, two of the
biggest names in boxing will fight next spring. You have
to wait until spring twenty six. Who is it, you
may ask, Oh, yeah, heavyweight Mike Tyson, who will turn
sixty next year. He will inch up into the ring
against forty nine year old Floyd Mayweather Junior. Yep, this
(28:21):
will be an exhibition match. I mean, is there any
other that Mike will do. It's a money grab. Mayweather
hasn't fought professionally for a decade, and it's been two
decades for Mike Tyson, because who's counting his embarrassment in
the ring last year with in his exhibition fight with
Jake Paul So. Tyson said in a statement, quote fighting.
Speaker 8 (28:41):
Something either the world.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
No, I haven't though, Well what happened?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I have a boxing and entited a new era.
Speaker 8 (28:47):
What's happening.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Mickey Mouse edited area.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I'm trying to read a magical day.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
There it goes.
Speaker 7 (29:00):
Anyway, he said. However, boxing has entered a new era
of the unpredictable, and this fight is as unpredictable as
it gets.
Speaker 10 (29:09):
At TMZ.
Speaker 7 (29:11):
You know the engagement photo of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.
I told you about it last week. Wearing coordinated Ralph
Lauren clothes generated seven million dollars and earned media value
for the designer's label. Pretty generous. Caitlyn Clark added to
her endorsement deals last week with the release of Stanley
High Performance hydration line. Altogether, her sponsors, such as Nike
(29:34):
and Wilson's Sporting Goods. Hey Caitlin a hundred times more
money annually than her WNBA salary seven million versus.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Seventy eight thousand.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Go Caitlyn.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
All right, these little buggers are in the news. La
Booboola booboo, la booboo dolls. They're dolls and their keychains
and there are knockoffs, so don't be fool John Boy
is the knockoffs.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I wonder if they would trade the princess Dia Beanie Baby, No,
because these these are going to be worse. Something you
should start.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
So it is like a weird craze. It is a
weird craze. Like even the Oregon mascot dressed up. If
you saw the game this weekend, the duck had this
bunny outfit on overneath it.
Speaker 6 (30:25):
This is the work of TikTok, right, Yeah, this is
what TikTok wants. They don't want your information, They're not
trying to spy on you. They want your money.
Speaker 7 (30:33):
Yeah. So that like, I've seen these hanging off of
grown adults backpacks and purses and and things like that,
and I couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
It's like, what is that is that?
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Is that a tele adobbie?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
I couldn't place it.
Speaker 7 (30:44):
It's a Laboo boo And US Customs and Border Protection
agents seized a shipment of five hundred thousand dollars worth
of Labooboo knockoffs.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
This will got little rabbits there. They all look like they.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
All got and they all like what they said. The
difference was with the knockoffs. Knockoffs are overly bright colors,
and they have the wrong number of.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Teeth, aren't they calling them la poo poos.
Speaker 7 (31:06):
All sorts of different things. They're called La poo poos,
la goo goos.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Yeah, there's also a tab a little sharp like yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're somewhat demonic looking.
Speaker 7 (31:17):
So yeah, they go for thirty to one hundred dollars
in the United States if you can find them and
you're stoopid, and you might be able to find one
on a Facebook marketplace for some mom who cleaned out
a kid's room and put it up there for like
thirty bucks. But the laffofoos are like fifteen to twenty dollars. Yeah,
So who's going to buy the knockoff?
Speaker 5 (31:36):
All right?
Speaker 7 (31:37):
Right? And if you're if you're a South Park fan,
they've already mocked the left La Boo Boo. They're already
ahead of time. Last week they already had an episode
where where the kids were making fun of.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
The La Boo boos. So, well, that's the way we'll
catch up.
Speaker 7 (31:49):
Then I'm still watching them for all my news.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Oh that works out, But I've been tanking you very much.
Welcome the bush. Well, let's get us a winner. Let's
play BOYD Jeopardy review yesterday's question. We found out William
Howard Taft was the first US president to play the
sport while in office.
Speaker 7 (32:08):
And apparently very fat.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Yeah, what is golf?
Speaker 1 (32:11):
He was a biggin and he played golf. All right,
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. During the seventeenth century, you could
tell the class status of people by the number of
these they used when eating.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Oh, what are jars of John Boy? Billy Grim?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Good yess what y'all got one? Eight hundred? Big show?
You told free line. We played John Boy Jeopardy. Next
(32:58):
Good Wednesday morning. There's a big show on the radio.
Humming to your home day. I featured drag from the
Big Show mid Box, Catbury at the White House. Key
words white House in the mid.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Box, at the Bigshow dot com.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Right now, let's play yes live across America. It's John
Boyjemary and now your host.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
He recently got a get better soon card from the
office staff.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
No, he's not sick. They just think he could do better.
He's John Boyd. Let's say, hey, the Sharon had a Severeville, Tennessee.
Good morning, Sharon, Good morning, Hey baby, welcome. All right,
you got the first shot at John Boyd Jeopardy. It
(33:48):
was the seventeenth century Sharon, you could tell the class
status of people by the number of vs they used
when eating their hands, the number of hands they used.
Let's see, was that real just used one hand rather
(34:14):
than just shoveling the polite one in your laps, you know,
one in your pocket as we Apprecia't you playing baby?
Try getting down the road. Okay, thank you, all right,
let's go to Greg. He's down in Common, Alabama the morning.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Greg.
Speaker 11 (34:37):
Well, good morning there, young boy and Billy m all
are a little bit frim help they're in the radio many.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yes, amen, Greg. Well, so it's not hands, Greg, you're
here sharing them Tennessee, let's there's not fight. What do
you what are you thinking it is?
Speaker 11 (35:01):
I think you did a little bit more specific because
you got more of them. I'm going with fingers.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Okay, well let's see. Is it fingers? Yes, I'm sure
Greg knows this. The upper class used three fingers and
everybody else used five. So that's where that whole holding
(35:31):
out your pinky while eating or drinking comes from, just
as a reflex, because it's just out there. It's you're
in bread with it. Yeah, I'm not mad at you.
It's bread that'll do. Hey, Greg, I'm all proud of you, buddy.
(35:54):
You got the gigantic blue EMU prizpect headed your place
down Common.
Speaker 11 (36:00):
Wow, that's just great. Shout out go ahead. Well, I'd
like to give him shout out, of course to all
the crew there, because y'all make my day. But I
a long time listener. I've been listening a longer start,
started listening before Jackie adopted the Twins.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Well, all right, that's a while back. Sure up, Greg,
we appreciate you all these years. But if you hang on,
I'll give you right back to Jackie. She'll hook you up.
Y'all hagging, I got you. Ah, Let's catch you up
(36:43):
on your news. It's on the other side our time
capsule over the September tenth in twenty minutes, our poet
Laurie It.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Oh wait, good letters to get your letters every day.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Mail today, reach right had and what up?
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I love those letters. That's why I want you got
to say.
Speaker 7 (37:56):
Oh boy man man.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
There John boyn Billieve.
Speaker 14 (38:04):
After hearing Marcy laughing on the radio this morning, I
felt obligated to write, could you ask her was She
born in Cumberland, Kentucky, about twenty years ago. What I'm
getting at is I just got out of prison after
serving a twenty year sentence for making it with a goose.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
I think she may be my daughter.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Speaking of goose, could.
Speaker 14 (38:26):
You tell Randy the nutcracker called and wants his jaws
back Jackie. She'll get someone to watch her twins while
she's at work. She keeps bringing those kids to the
radio station. There's no telling how screwed up they will
become after being exposed to Robert d Rayford.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Ha ha ha ha ha Haas guy's done some hard time.
Speaker 14 (38:43):
Either of you ever doubts the Good Lord has a
sense of humor. Take a good look at Red Fred sincerely,
I be Ornie.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
That hurts coming from a guy who dated a goose.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Shawn Boy and Billy.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
He just didn't the water bowler anywhere.
Speaker 9 (39:09):
Good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
It's will make Shaw on the radio. I know it
ain't Colonel Hanson. Yeah, but he's got that turnill. We'll
get into that later, Okay. So then Saint Louis were
the boys race last weekend. Look at Denny Hamlin went
in five this year man. Anyway, we'll get a doug
on that tomorrow. Well now what oh yeah, twenty minutes
(40:02):
away a special playhouse with Edith and Archie. Well, as
you know, the Big Show has its very own poet laureate,
and ever so often he'll come in with an original
poem written just for our listeners. You're welcome.
Speaker 15 (40:17):
And here he is, Colonel Hamilton Brewster. How are you,
colonel John Boy? I'm happier than a fart in silk, Patty,
that's happy.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
What did you bring for us today?
Speaker 4 (40:31):
Well, John boy, the dog days of summer have left
for the year and it's coming into fall now. A
lot of places are having their county fairs. I went
to a family reunion last fall in Thurman County and
part of the festivities included a trip to the county fair.
Sen's a story, yep, and he goes something like this
(40:54):
every year when the humidity ebbs and the cooler weather prevails.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Herman County has their big Old Fare and.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
It produces many grand tales. The Brewster clan piled into
their cars a convoy a country mile long. Half was inbred,
the other half drunk. What the hell could go wrong?
From puking on the tilted world to cheating at all
of the games. Full of fried food and bad ideas
(41:23):
was the Brewster claim to fame. They had entertainment at
the fair, a parade of dlist stars, demolition derby and
magic shows, and monkeys smoking cigars. But this year they
had something special, sure to drive the country folks wild.
It was pro wrestling under the lights, and the action
(41:45):
sure weren't mild. It was a local group from Virginia Beach.
Bruiser Bedlam was their champ, but his opponent couldn't make
it that night. Apparently he had a cramp, so they
asked for a volunteer from the crowd battle for that
gold tidal crown. So Cousin Wilbur stepped TwixT the ropes,
(42:05):
fixing to take Bruiser down. The action commenced before the
bell rang, with Bruiser taking cheap shots. Cousin Wilbur was
getting his country ass whooped, sweating bullets and nose running snot.
Now here's where things took a real turn. See Grannie
Brewster was ringside too, and she hated a bully more
(42:28):
than a democrat. But what could an old woman do?
She was near eighty year old with arthritis and gout,
wore adult diapers and couldn't.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
See too well.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
But she'd be damned if her ken would take a beating,
and she was about to unleash hell. She leaped through
the ropes like a damn kangaroo and threw me her
teeth for safe keeping. Bruiser just laughed, but not for long.
He was about to sew what he was reaping when
she round housed his ass. His knee toned a jella.
(43:01):
Bruiser blinked, but didn't say a word. There appeared to
be a lump in the back of his drawers. Looked
like Granny knocked loose a turn. Bruiser gathered his wits
and bowed up on Granny. Things started looking quite grim.
I yelled Grannie, he's nuts, but she heard his, not his,
and that was the beginning of the end for him.
(43:25):
She granted for his growing quick as a flash, Bruises
struck an odd pose. Granny had a death grip hold
on his junk in the old got your nose. The
more she'd twist the ladder, he'd screamed constantly, raising the
pitch got so high. Dogs howled for miles around. Must
(43:47):
have hurt like a son of a gun. Bruiser crumpled
to the mat with a thud, and Granny rolled him
up for the pin. In three short seconds. That was
all she wrote, and a Brewster was awarded the win.
Folks was losing their mind a deafenente roar as Granny
(44:08):
strapped on that belt. She took the victory lap unscathed,
then unharmed, with not even a single welt. Granny was
the talk of the town, a local celebrity. She wore
that dang belt everywhere, sold sequence on her robe, and
when she answered the phone, she went whoo, just like
old Rick Flair. She held that title for a year
(44:32):
without wrestling a match. She finally gave that belt up
because she had one stipulation for taking her on. You
weren't allowed to wear a cup. Now that's a tale
that gets better the more that it's told. So goes
the legend of Granny. But what happened to Bruiser?
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Where is he now? He works for Tim Walls as
one of his trainnies ha.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Ha, you like having John boy good morning?
Speaker 14 (45:03):
You got the big show on already, all more chances
for you to win coming up after your.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
News, weather, and sports.
Speaker 8 (45:09):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve racking they are. I don't even complain when they
(45:30):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory foam pillow and
stop telling his kids that's where the comet hits
Yet Morning to Make show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it in
my life. The sun's belly up, there's full everywhere, flying
through the air, and blights and bowls and hands. People
eat them with their fingers, their feet, other people's feet.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
OHI with a spreads.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
You can't imagine ribs and chicken and biscuits and whole
pigs and a great big sticky.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
That's what it's like at the Junt Boyar Bully Pig Show.
It's a buffet from start to finish. There should be
a cover charge. I'll tell you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for you. Fainted like cleaning bill over my head.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
You gonna eat that.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Cale? Oh right, love this Mama Bear music. The first
time we were it was on some commercial about the
start with sometimes feeble news, stupid things. The perfect for us.
So it is a big show. Everybody y'all looking good altogether.
(01:36):
This National Swap Ideas Day, which would probably be a
good thing for us to do, short National TV Dinner Day. Now,
I know we're gonna be celebrating the TV dinner because
I guess, I guess it was our childhood when it
(01:57):
happened there, fucking I don't think Tayter ever had one
out of aluminum foil. Yeah, and not in the microwave. Yeah,
oh yeah, yeah yeah. It took like thirty five minutes
and maybe one of those. And then of course of
genius putting TV in the title because it's kids. Oh,
(02:19):
you gotta eat it front of the TV. Yeah, I
mean that's the first. You know, Now everybody eats in
front of the TV. But back then, man, you went
to the table, sat down, had your meal. Dad, it
was a TV dinner and they were hot when they
first came out of the All right, well, I we'll
deal with that a little bit later because we are awake.
(02:40):
Let's get the winning beginning. We'll do that in minutes.
Big Shows on the radio, Good morning, Got the Big
Show on the radio.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
All right.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
First prize FAG one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull Snot Cleaning products. Love a bull snot a truck
stops across America. Download the Bullsnot app Hit the Big
Show dot com. Let'ten up here three days in history.
He can win you some. I'm delivered right to your door.
Nineteen fifty three, we mentioned this earlier Swanson sold his
(03:10):
first TV dinner. The idea originated as a way to
dispose of an excess of turkey that had accumulated in
the company. About that, That's why it was turkey. Did
they later branch out other meats?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (03:28):
I mean do you not remember when Swanson came out
with the Hungry Man meals?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I had rich Michigan, Yeah, meat loaf and all that
turkey slis Mary steak was always my favorite. All right?
So as we move up to nineteen eighty nine, Dion Sanders,
coach Prime Now, scored a touchdown on a sixty eight
yard punt return for the Atlanta Falcons. Just four days earlier,
(03:56):
he hit a home run and went three for four
with a New York Bigas Baseball team. Quite an athlete
on Neon Dion And then finally, on this day. In
nineteen ninety two, Peanuts comic strip character Lucy raised her
fee for psychiatric counseling from a nickel to forty seven cents.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
I mean, like, what is.
Speaker 8 (04:17):
That like three hundred percent?
Speaker 7 (04:19):
What is that's a heck of her?
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Ninety two? I don't know where she's rtike set the
five cents earlier, and.
Speaker 7 (04:27):
Then she's got to make change too. Can't even just
beat fifty cents.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
And she would always pull the football all the way
from Charlie Brown, cause him psychological problems, and then charging
forty seven. Sense help up.
Speaker 7 (04:39):
Okay, it's not a fan of Lucy.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I remember that. That's been like the first books. I
had a Charlie Brown book, a paper ball, a little bit. Yeah,
I love that. That Snoopy. That's why I had one.
I was a kid. Daddy had beagle dogs. You know,
I would name every one. I'm Snoopy, A Snoopy, Snoopy
two Snoopy three, George Foreman's kids. Wait, I'll do I.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
Wouldn't have guessed that Pearl and Mini Pearl.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Ali, Damn. Well there you go. Uh Peanuts, comic strips.
Let's talk about comic strips and I'll do one eight
hundred big show you told free line, come on play
out birds next good Wednesday morning. It's a big Shaw
(05:49):
on the radio. My feature track when it makes your
bit box cat buried the White House continder, our white
House neighborhood out the big box keywords white house a
run out.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Outburst. Let's play upburst.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boy Billy
gave the prizes from the big prize being let's go
contested number one.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
This should be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
When you're playing Upburst.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Have a hurry up and guest time you love the
best time you have a big shots.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Let's say had a record from month's corner, South Carolina.
Speaker 9 (06:39):
We shots.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Well, Hello, good morning, Regel, Hello, John Boy, Hello, Hello,
how you doing?
Speaker 10 (06:52):
Man?
Speaker 11 (06:53):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Had a month? I'm going yes, sure, Mony, I like
you man. Y'all shall have the hollering contests down there.
Speaker 5 (07:03):
Richard, Yeah, way way down the road from me. Okay, yeah, no,
that's down toward Jamestown.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Okay. A lot of country around you down there.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
Oh yeah, back my place, backs up, my my house,
backs up to the government. Work.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Well all right, man, awesome, nice spot.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
I don't have a pawn. I wish I did. It
would be nice, but I don't have a paw. Bah blah.
I'm sorry about that. I got me a little old
house to live in and the best looking wife a
man can have.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Well, there you go and back.
Speaker 5 (07:45):
You think you think you got a baby dog you
ought to see mine.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Let's me change ventures, Jaggie.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Well, I could send you a picture, but I don't
know how to do well. I'm not tech savage. My
granddaughter could do that.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Oh, Richard, we're glad we got you in here, Boddy.
I'll say, if we can get you through these categories
and get you one hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bull snock cleaning products headed down there. Yeah, she might
be good looking. Can she clean? Let's find out everybody.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, she's just a sweetheart. All right.
I got to tell you sometime how I met her.
I went in the store and I looked up my
left and she looked at me, and I smiled. She
smiled back, and I was.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Had alright, I hear you, Richard. How long ago was that?
Speaker 5 (08:36):
This October? Well, I met her.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I met her at eighty eight.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
But we got married in ninety six. Old October to
the nineteenth will be twenty nine years.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
I hey you, all right? How good deal.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
We got? We got about fifteen to sixteen great grand
between the two of us.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Wow awesome? Oh yeah, Rechie was good man? You happy man?
Glad you all right? Well, let's say what we make
it's just a little bit happier with his prize backers.
Here alright, here we go. This is kind of tough.
I see our first category. See see if you can
do it, give us three frozen meal companies ready.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Swampson, Campbell and backward. Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Hold on you, we're.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Very right man.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Now three sports played during the fall. Ready go.
Speaker 5 (09:28):
Baseball, football and sucker.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And for the win, three comic strips. Ready go, Peter did.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
It a minute and.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Then no more a months more living a dream when
you got your prize back head you away, Richard, gratulations,
you kiss a little lady for me?
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I sure enough, we'll can I give a shout out?
Speaker 1 (09:57):
You go ahead.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
I'd like to give it shout out to my gorgeous
wife for now all my children. Yeah, she's the baby dogs.
I wish you could see it. Fist something now. Anyway,
I had to pull overside the roof, but anyway, uh,
and she she's the greatest. I have to I have
to say that. And my son in laws they all good.
(10:20):
And one of them, one of my son in laws,
and my youngest daughters took me to the risk track
in April.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Okay, all right, you got twelve to thirteen grandchildren.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
No, I think there's about fifteen fifteen out sometime.
Speaker 10 (10:39):
I'll get my wife to call you if she's got
the nerve, and uh, he'll tell you how much. He's
one of them waiting how long it was and all that, alright,
but looking Forard than that god blassy Richard.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Thank you boy. I'm like, all right, Jackie, find out
where we're going.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Like, I don't know what he did to screw up
with her, but it must.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Jackass Rason if his life's good looking. But w you said,
never mind, we got time right now. Remembered way from
the other.
Speaker 12 (11:18):
Side, my favorite and most perceptive commentators is no longer
(11:54):
an observer of the current scene. He would give my
present favorite, David Brooks some father for thought. Here's a
column he wrote before his death thirty five years ago,
and it applies to day. Talking about a fellow named
Sidney Harris says, on dark days when all the news
is bleak, seemed to me only three avenues left open
to the human race, mass psychoanalysis, mass conversion, or mass extinction.
(12:19):
Everybody complains about conditions or situations or sorry states of affairs,
but virtually all these conditions and situations and states are
created by human beings and not by the objective world
we live in. We are the enemies of our own
survival and welfare. In truth, we are half mad. One
part of us is reasonable and decent and mature. Another
(12:41):
part is irrational and prejudiced and infantile. In any deep
or prolonged crisis, the lunatic half takes possession of us.
Mass psychoanalysis, if it were possible, as it is not,
might give our rational selves more control over the childish
part of our nature. We might then begin to see
our bigoti trees and fears and rages for what they
(13:02):
truly are, instead of projecting them outward to others. Mass conversion,
not to a particular church or creed, but to a
simple acceptance of the basic religious truth that it is
better to suffer an injury than to do one might
permit us all to pull back from the brink of
the precipice and save our species from extinction. I see
(13:23):
little hope outside these two highly improbable courses. There's more
hatred and divisiveness in the world today than at any
time since I was born. More struggle, more conflict, more anger,
more hate, more closed minds and deaf ears and distorted vision.
Nobody will turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile
return good for evil. We've turned religion into a consolation,
(13:45):
nationalism into an idol, science into a juggernaut, community into
a jungle, education into a treadmill, law into a bludgeon,
and politics into a bloody farce. Our moral insanity is
the agent of our doom. I was written about thirty
five years ago by my favorite philosopher of our time,
Sidney Harris. Merely Robert D. Rayford, one of his disciples
(14:08):
here now on the John Boyne Billy Show.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Good Morning bas Shows on radio twenty minutes away from
Taylor Tayman News. There right now here is Oliver. Well.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Well, well, it certainly has been a while.
Speaker 4 (14:56):
Frankly, I haven't had much to say since the gal's
lost all that weight roughly the equivalent to the gross
tonnage of a fully loaded garbage truck on a cargo ship.
Not only did they lose a phenomenal amount of weight,
they really cashed in when they had all that excess
(15:16):
skin removed a furniture maker in Wisconsin. Somebody Gaan bought
all of it. So if you're in a furniture outlet
store and purchase a leather sofa with a birthmark that
looks like ched Atkins in an afrowig. You're welcome. Well,
when they finally reached their weight loss goal, I promised
(15:39):
them I'd take them out to their favorite place, anywhere
their little newly artery unclogged heart's.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Desired, and they chose Cracker Barrel. Let me preach on it.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Now before I spin my little tail, you should know
that this all took place before that store. Crazy eyed
Dame and a pair of Ace Rothstein glasses decided to
impose her woke vision for a dei utopia on America's
favorite restaurant, but then had to walk it back.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
I'd wager the only time she'd.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
Ever been in a Cracker Barrel was to use the toilet,
and you know she wore rubber gloves and a mask.
She was big into the whole pride movement. And that's
not a red flag.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I don't know what is. And brother, was I ever right?
First of all, when you.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Pull into the parking lot, there was something so comforting
about looking up at that sign and seeing old Uncle
Herschel sitting next to that barrel, almost like being greeted
by an old friend.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
But after fifty years.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
That crazy eyed hag at home Office kicked him to
the curb. Their alternative a generic sign.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
With just the name.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Oh sure they brought him back, but really, how long
will it be before they try to sneak someone new
in there?
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Get ready to be greeted by Uncle Caitlin Jenna.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
Now you still enter through the gift shop, but all
the charming much and ice was gone, replaced by rainbow
flag everything.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Remember all the DVDs of the Andy.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
Griffith Show and Goma Pile gone, replaced by Will and
Grace and sex in the City. Even the candy is
weird now, I mean, who would ever buy a big
log of San Francisco sidewalk fudge?
Speaker 7 (17:34):
Not me?
Speaker 4 (17:38):
And the bathrooms there was no more men than women.
Just he she on one door and they them on
the other. There was no long wait to be seated,
as the place was nearly empty. The new decorps was,
how to put it, delicately, crappy, gone with the charming
antique signs and vintage photos and odd collections of kitchen
(18:02):
tools and farm implements.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Instead it looked like an orthodonist's waiting.
Speaker 4 (18:06):
Room, that bland, creamy paint on the walls, adorned with
what looked like kid's art projects on the walls. The
fireplace was still there, but no fire because that's bad
for the environment, you see.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Instead it was a TV with a video of a fire. Classy.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
And remember that little triangle game with the golf teas.
Oh it's still there, but all the white pegs are gone.
Our purple haired waitress with the nose ring and head
cold handed out our menus. Some old favorites were still
in there, but there were also some new offerings, things
(18:47):
like the egg white Privilege omelet Antifa's country style fake
Tofu patty with cruelty free gravy, the Wider Woke Breakfast
special with non binary eggs and reparation hash browns, Undocumented
veggie tacos with migrant friendly ingredients. We all decided to
(19:09):
play it safe and just order the things from.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
The old menu.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
My wife ordered a sweet tea, one of her favorites,
but Purple Hair brought out a glass of room temperature tea.
My wife said, where's the ice. Purple Hair began shrieking.
Fascist fascist ice is not welcome here. We tried to
reason with them, but we were told to leave. Frankly,
I was relieved. There was a Chili's next door, and
(19:35):
I wanted my baby beck Baby beck Bean. But I
guess we moved a little too slow for them, and
Purple Hair took my wife by the arm.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
Big mistake.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
I don't remember much after Wifey had butted Purple Hair
and swung her around by the nose, ring miscreants and
weirdos poured out of the kitchen. One thing these people
couldn't have possibly known is that these gals had spent
years carrying around massive amounts of weight. Their muscle tone
was on point. The most these folks that ever lifted
(20:09):
was a game remote or some anti Trump sign.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
They were doomed.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Hopefully someday they'll rebuild, and in doing so, rebuild with
a bit more respect to nostalgia. It's nice to know
that the dim bulbs at Cracker Barrel Corporate have finally
seen the light.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
But we must stay vigilant. And just a bit of
advice to the Golden Corral. We like you just the
way you are. Don't push your luck.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Good morning, A lot more big shall coming up time
by Bit Begs shall picky.
Speaker 13 (20:52):
I'm ath Oh, Marcel, you picked an awful time to call. Well,
listen to the rainy. Oh, we're right in the middle
of a new control you boobe. No, no, not, you're
rating fat boy. Pull up a couple of chairs and
cut down nothing. I gotta go make coffee for the
boys so they can go on making that audio magic
(21:12):
known as did joboy b Big show, Carry on straight people.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Good morning, that will big show on the radio ten
minutes Taylertainment News. Looking at this date in history, It's September,
the tenth oh seven Democratic presidential candidate's healthy first debate
and Spanish on TV. Questions and answers are translated back
and forth, and debate address issues important to Hispanic voters,
(22:12):
such as immigration and Latin American relations, because then later
we'll just open the border and then we'll take them
all off and trouble get them all and win the
presidency again. So well, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
Speaker 7 (22:27):
What are you talking about? It?
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Right? The first Spanish debate with the Democrats and seven,
everybody relaxed. We'll let Ricky V handle this in song.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Morning at the Lombard depot hiring laborers. What the hell
are the saying I need a translator. I'll tell you
what I wish that you speak English. My wife learned
how to do it, and she says, dumb as a fish.
You're in my country. Learn the lingo. Take advice from
(23:11):
this old gringo. All I'm really going to need from
you is just to talk English to me. Or the
love of Pete, talk English to me.
Speaker 3 (23:24):
That that com hard. Talk English to me, Talk English
to me, nerve racking. The answer is.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Always the same, No hobbler English. You say that I'm
a racist, I should learn Spanish. Hey, partner, I'll tell
you what. You can't kiss my butt, and if you
ain't got you a green card, you better keep your
mouth shut. You're in my country.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Learn the lingo.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Take advice from this old All I'm really gonna mean
from you is just to talk English to me.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
They taught a gorilla how to do it.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Talk English to me, sign language, but still talk English
to me.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Hard to believe.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Talk English to me.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Who that's a card game, dummy ghost, that's medicine, Sonny trace,
it's what you eat your lunch off.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Puetro.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
That's an Audi cool it with a jibber jabber, genius.
Where the hell do you come from? Venus, open your
mouth and what the heck? It's like a cling on
on star trek. Don't give a crap of apacinco Domeo,
but you better get flu in if you want your payoff.
Every day is a living hell. It's like training day
at Taco Bell. Welcome to the USA. Now take a
(24:54):
clue and learn the parlay. Don't give a flip where
you come from, man, but you gotta speak American. You're
in the country. Speak the lingo. Take advice from this
old gringo. All I'm really going to need from you
is just to talk English to me. Come on, man,
(25:15):
talk English to me. Talk English to me. Doc yousday,
nerve racking, Good morning. I got a big show on
the radio coming up. We played John Boyd Jeopardy for
(25:36):
a Blue Emu Prize pack Blue Emu Pain Relief Cream
Words fastest thou stubborn, muscle, aches, joint pain, even off writers. Plus,
It's not greasy and it won't make you stink. Also
a tube of PBC OTC. It's relief cream, fast safe,
It's relief now available without a prescription.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Look for both in stores and online and Walmart, Amazon. No,
the finn retailers hang on play for it in minutes.
Right now, it's time for tat Taman news. Here's our girl,
Marcy Taylor more.
Speaker 7 (26:06):
Thank you you guys are dudes?
Speaker 14 (26:09):
Are you Star Wars fans?
Speaker 7 (26:11):
I was?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
But yeah, I lost track and kind of los.
Speaker 7 (26:18):
Okay, Well, I really don't care.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
I just wanted to tell you.
Speaker 7 (26:22):
That an iconic that, an iconic piece of Star Wars
history sold at an auction at a galactic price.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Wow.
Speaker 7 (26:33):
Wow, three point six million dollars.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
That would be more impressive if we knew what it was.
Speaker 7 (26:40):
I was gonna tell you it is the the red
lightsaber used by Darth Vader in Star Wars, The Empire
Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Oh yeah, I work.
Speaker 7 (26:55):
They thought that the top bid was gonna be between
one and three million, but Mayne up Hey, there was
a big war and it went to three point six million,
And according to the auction House Prop Store, the prop
is the original screen match dueling lightsaber used in some
of the most legendary scenes, including the moment when Vader
reveals to Luke Skywalker, Hey, that's right, I have it.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
I haven't seen it yet. Let me ask you about that.
There's a picture. Is it like the cheap Ones, like
where it's just a light or I mean it?
Speaker 7 (27:39):
I mean it's the one they used in the movie,
you know.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah, but that was all done in special effects. I mean, so, no,
it doesn't have anything. It's like just a handle. Yeah,
that's right. Here's the kittures Worth it alright.
Speaker 7 (27:59):
So moving to boxing, moving to sports, two of the
biggest names in boxing will fight next spring. You have
to wait until spring twenty six. Who is it, you
may ask, Oh, yeah, heavyweight Mike Tyson, who will turn
sixty next year. He will inch up into the ring
against forty nine year old Floyd Mayweather Junior. Yep, this
(28:21):
will be an exhibition match. I mean, is there any
other that Mike will do. It's a money grab. Mayweather
hasn't fought professionally for a decade, and it's been two
decades for Mike Tyson, because who's counting his embarrassment in
the ring last year with in his exhibition fight with
Jake Paul So. Tyson said in a statement, quote fighting.
Speaker 8 (28:41):
Something either the world.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
No, I haven't though, Well what happened?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I have a boxing and entited a new era.
Speaker 8 (28:47):
What's happening.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Mickey Mouse edited area.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I'm trying to read a magical day.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
There it goes.
Speaker 7 (29:00):
Anyway, he said. However, boxing has entered a new era
of the unpredictable, and this fight is as unpredictable as
it gets.
Speaker 10 (29:09):
At TMZ.
Speaker 7 (29:11):
You know the engagement photo of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.
I told you about it last week. Wearing coordinated Ralph
Lauren clothes generated seven million dollars and earned media value
for the designer's label. Pretty generous. Caitlyn Clark added to
her endorsement deals last week with the release of Stanley
High Performance hydration line. Altogether, her sponsors, such as Nike
(29:34):
and Wilson's Sporting Goods. Hey Caitlin a hundred times more
money annually than her WNBA salary seven million versus.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Seventy eight thousand.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Go Caitlyn.
Speaker 7 (29:46):
All right, these little buggers are in the news. La
Booboola booboo, la booboo dolls. They're dolls and their keychains
and there are knockoffs, so don't be fool John Boy
is the knockoffs.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I wonder if they would trade the princess Dia Beanie Baby, No,
because these these are going to be worse. Something you
should start.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
So it is like a weird craze. It is a
weird craze. Like even the Oregon mascot dressed up. If
you saw the game this weekend, the duck had this
bunny outfit on overneath it.
Speaker 6 (30:25):
This is the work of TikTok, right, Yeah, this is
what TikTok wants. They don't want your information, They're not
trying to spy on you. They want your money.
Speaker 7 (30:33):
Yeah. So that like, I've seen these hanging off of
grown adults backpacks and purses and and things like that,
and I couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
It's like, what is that is that?
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Is that a tele adobbie?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
I couldn't place it.
Speaker 7 (30:44):
It's a Laboo boo And US Customs and Border Protection
agents seized a shipment of five hundred thousand dollars worth
of Labooboo knockoffs.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
This will got little rabbits there. They all look like they.
Speaker 7 (30:55):
All got and they all like what they said. The
difference was with the knockoffs. Knockoffs are overly bright colors,
and they have the wrong number of.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Teeth, aren't they calling them la poo poos.
Speaker 7 (31:06):
All sorts of different things. They're called La poo poos,
la goo goos.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
Yeah, there's also a tab a little sharp like yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're somewhat demonic looking.
Speaker 7 (31:17):
So yeah, they go for thirty to one hundred dollars
in the United States if you can find them and
you're stoopid, and you might be able to find one
on a Facebook marketplace for some mom who cleaned out
a kid's room and put it up there for like
thirty bucks. But the laffofoos are like fifteen to twenty dollars. Yeah,
So who's going to buy the knockoff?
Speaker 5 (31:36):
All right?
Speaker 7 (31:37):
Right? And if you're if you're a South Park fan,
they've already mocked the left La Boo Boo. They're already
ahead of time. Last week they already had an episode
where where the kids were making fun of.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
The La Boo boos. So, well, that's the way we'll
catch up.
Speaker 7 (31:49):
Then I'm still watching them for all my news.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Oh that works out, But I've been tanking you very much.
Welcome the bush. Well, let's get us a winner. Let's
play BOYD Jeopardy review yesterday's question. We found out William
Howard Taft was the first US president to play the
sport while in office.
Speaker 7 (32:08):
And apparently very fat.
Speaker 4 (32:10):
Yeah, what is golf?
Speaker 1 (32:11):
He was a biggin and he played golf. All right,
Today's John Boy Jeopardy. During the seventeenth century, you could
tell the class status of people by the number of
these they used when eating.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
Oh, what are jars of John Boy? Billy Grim?
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Good yess what y'all got one? Eight hundred? Big show?
You told free line. We played John Boy Jeopardy. Next
(32:58):
Good Wednesday morning. There's a big show on the radio.
Humming to your home day. I featured drag from the
Big Show mid Box, Catbury at the White House. Key
words white House in the mid.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Box, at the Bigshow dot com.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Right now, let's play yes live across America. It's John
Boyjemary and now your host.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
He recently got a get better soon card from the
office staff.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
No, he's not sick. They just think he could do better.
He's John Boyd. Let's say, hey, the Sharon had a Severeville, Tennessee.
Good morning, Sharon, Good morning, Hey baby, welcome. All right,
you got the first shot at John Boyd Jeopardy. It
(33:48):
was the seventeenth century Sharon, you could tell the class
status of people by the number of vs they used
when eating their hands, the number of hands they used.
Let's see, was that real just used one hand rather
(34:14):
than just shoveling the polite one in your laps, you know,
one in your pocket as we Apprecia't you playing baby?
Try getting down the road. Okay, thank you, all right,
let's go to Greg. He's down in Common, Alabama the morning.
Speaker 5 (34:35):
Greg.
Speaker 11 (34:37):
Well, good morning there, young boy and Billy m all
are a little bit frim help they're in the radio many.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yes, amen, Greg. Well, so it's not hands, Greg, you're
here sharing them Tennessee, let's there's not fight. What do
you what are you thinking it is?
Speaker 11 (35:01):
I think you did a little bit more specific because
you got more of them. I'm going with fingers.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
Okay, well let's see. Is it fingers? Yes, I'm sure
Greg knows this. The upper class used three fingers and
everybody else used five. So that's where that whole holding
(35:31):
out your pinky while eating or drinking comes from, just
as a reflex, because it's just out there. It's you're
in bread with it. Yeah, I'm not mad at you.
It's bread that'll do. Hey, Greg, I'm all proud of you, buddy.
(35:54):
You got the gigantic blue EMU prizpect headed your place
down Common.
Speaker 11 (36:00):
Wow, that's just great. Shout out go ahead. Well, I'd
like to give him shout out, of course to all
the crew there, because y'all make my day. But I
a long time listener. I've been listening a longer start,
started listening before Jackie adopted the Twins.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Well, all right, that's a while back. Sure up, Greg,
we appreciate you all these years. But if you hang on,
I'll give you right back to Jackie. She'll hook you up.
Y'all hagging, I got you. Ah, Let's catch you up
(36:43):
on your news. It's on the other side our time
capsule over the September tenth in twenty minutes, our poet
Laurie It.
Speaker 4 (37:20):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Oh wait, good letters to get your letters every day.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Mail today, reach right had and what up?
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I love those letters. That's why I want you got
to say.
Speaker 7 (37:56):
Oh boy man man.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
There John boyn Billieve.
Speaker 14 (38:04):
After hearing Marcy laughing on the radio this morning, I
felt obligated to write, could you ask her was She
born in Cumberland, Kentucky, about twenty years ago. What I'm
getting at is I just got out of prison after
serving a twenty year sentence for making it with a goose.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
I think she may be my daughter.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Speaking of goose, could.
Speaker 14 (38:26):
You tell Randy the nutcracker called and wants his jaws
back Jackie. She'll get someone to watch her twins while
she's at work. She keeps bringing those kids to the
radio station. There's no telling how screwed up they will
become after being exposed to Robert d Rayford.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Ha ha ha ha ha Haas guy's done some hard time.
Speaker 14 (38:43):
Either of you ever doubts the Good Lord has a
sense of humor. Take a good look at Red Fred sincerely,
I be Ornie.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
That hurts coming from a guy who dated a goose.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Shawn Boy and Billy.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
He just didn't the water bowler anywhere.
Speaker 9 (39:09):
Good morning radio, dumb right, Good morning.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
It's will make Shaw on the radio. I know it
ain't Colonel Hanson. Yeah, but he's got that turnill. We'll
get into that later, Okay. So then Saint Louis were
the boys race last weekend. Look at Denny Hamlin went
in five this year man. Anyway, we'll get a doug
on that tomorrow. Well now what oh yeah, twenty minutes
(40:02):
away a special playhouse with Edith and Archie. Well, as
you know, the Big Show has its very own poet laureate,
and ever so often he'll come in with an original
poem written just for our listeners. You're welcome.
Speaker 15 (40:17):
And here he is, Colonel Hamilton Brewster. How are you,
colonel John Boy? I'm happier than a fart in silk, Patty,
that's happy.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
What did you bring for us today?
Speaker 4 (40:31):
Well, John boy, the dog days of summer have left
for the year and it's coming into fall now. A
lot of places are having their county fairs. I went
to a family reunion last fall in Thurman County and
part of the festivities included a trip to the county fair.
Sen's a story, yep, and he goes something like this
(40:54):
every year when the humidity ebbs and the cooler weather prevails.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Herman County has their big Old Fare and.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
It produces many grand tales. The Brewster clan piled into
their cars a convoy a country mile long. Half was inbred,
the other half drunk. What the hell could go wrong?
From puking on the tilted world to cheating at all
of the games. Full of fried food and bad ideas
(41:23):
was the Brewster claim to fame. They had entertainment at
the fair, a parade of dlist stars, demolition derby and
magic shows, and monkeys smoking cigars. But this year they
had something special, sure to drive the country folks wild.
It was pro wrestling under the lights, and the action
(41:45):
sure weren't mild. It was a local group from Virginia Beach.
Bruiser Bedlam was their champ, but his opponent couldn't make
it that night. Apparently he had a cramp, so they
asked for a volunteer from the crowd battle for that
gold tidal crown. So Cousin Wilbur stepped TwixT the ropes,
(42:05):
fixing to take Bruiser down. The action commenced before the
bell rang, with Bruiser taking cheap shots. Cousin Wilbur was
getting his country ass whooped, sweating bullets and nose running snot.
Now here's where things took a real turn. See Grannie
Brewster was ringside too, and she hated a bully more
(42:28):
than a democrat. But what could an old woman do?
She was near eighty year old with arthritis and gout,
wore adult diapers and couldn't.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
See too well.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
But she'd be damned if her ken would take a beating,
and she was about to unleash hell. She leaped through
the ropes like a damn kangaroo and threw me her
teeth for safe keeping. Bruiser just laughed, but not for long.
He was about to sew what he was reaping when
she round housed his ass. His knee toned a jella.
(43:01):
Bruiser blinked, but didn't say a word. There appeared to
be a lump in the back of his drawers. Looked
like Granny knocked loose a turn. Bruiser gathered his wits
and bowed up on Granny. Things started looking quite grim.
I yelled Grannie, he's nuts, but she heard his, not his,
and that was the beginning of the end for him.
(43:25):
She granted for his growing quick as a flash, Bruises
struck an odd pose. Granny had a death grip hold
on his junk in the old got your nose. The
more she'd twist the ladder, he'd screamed constantly, raising the
pitch got so high. Dogs howled for miles around. Must
(43:47):
have hurt like a son of a gun. Bruiser crumpled
to the mat with a thud, and Granny rolled him
up for the pin. In three short seconds. That was
all she wrote, and a Brewster was awarded the win.
Folks was losing their mind a deafenente roar as Granny
(44:08):
strapped on that belt. She took the victory lap unscathed,
then unharmed, with not even a single welt. Granny was
the talk of the town, a local celebrity. She wore
that dang belt everywhere, sold sequence on her robe, and
when she answered the phone, she went whoo, just like
old Rick Flair. She held that title for a year
(44:32):
without wrestling a match. She finally gave that belt up
because she had one stipulation for taking her on. You
weren't allowed to wear a cup. Now that's a tale
that gets better the more that it's told. So goes
the legend of Granny. But what happened to Bruiser?
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Where is he now? He works for Tim Walls as
one of his trainnies ha.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
Ha, you like having John boy good morning?
Speaker 14 (45:03):
You got the big show on already, all more chances
for you to win coming up after your.
Speaker 1 (45:07):
News, weather, and sports.
Speaker 8 (45:09):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve racking they are. I don't even complain when they
(45:30):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory foam pillow and
stop telling his kids that's where the comet hits
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Herd with Colin Cowherd
The Herd with Colin Cowherd is a thought-provoking, opinionated, and topic-driven journey through the top sports stories of the day.