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June 4, 2025 45 mins

Wednesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Tater updates us on the latest happenings out of Hollywood with a brand new edition of TaterTainment News.. - The Mayor of Dismal Seepage reveals this weekend’s Testicle Festival - who wants to have a ball?.. - Comedian Greg Warren calls in from his current tour to let us know about his new special, “The Champ” - now streaming for free on YouTube - check out!.. - and we’ll wrap up today with some advice from Ike Turner…

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You more than everybody.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
The Big Show is on the radio.

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Still a lot more coming at you. Hey, hey listener.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
My name is man Foy.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
I ain't a motivational speaker.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
I am thirty five years old.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
I am right divorced, and every morning I listen to
Young Boy and Billy on the Big Show.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
When I wake up.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
In a van man river, go on and laugh.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
And leave the radio work.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Logging oving out on. It is Wednesday, June the fourth,
It's twenty twenty five. Look at the time, fly that
money come all good? Yeah, I nodded. I'm looking down
just all the National days I felt you. Yeah, everybody

(01:31):
else piling in not necessarily a pile. We got going
to kind of a drip drip, a dripping, dripping big job.
Let's see what we got National Hug your Cat Day.
I think you know I should do that anyway every day. Okay,
I'm about ready for cat if I can find another
cool cat. You're allergic, for God's sakes, will you give it?

Speaker 1 (01:54):
I'm not nont know.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
I do know my allergy, Oh yeah, I do. How
long are knowing you? All?

Speaker 5 (02:05):
Right?

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Can I hug somebody else's cat? If you want to
seize and carry all right, I ain't gonna hug a cat.
National Cheese Day and they's some cheese. Yes, please do
National Safe Day now that's his gun save of course. Yeah, man,
I got I got four yeah safes. Yeah, wow, so

(02:26):
and off And I don't understand this. Well, I got guns,
I know you do.

Speaker 6 (02:31):
So like.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
It says here guns safe to prevent tragedy from repeating itself.
You know, it makes it sound like like somebody would accidentally,
you know, shot somebody. So get a safe so it
doesn't happen again. That's kind of a weird way to
put I think. Yeah, well it has happened. It is tragic,
but it hasn't happened to us. We do have saves,
and our guns are very Yeah, please keep it going

(02:57):
out the way. And you've got trigger locks that you
can get as well. Put on your phones, best your kids. Ready,
got to do that. All right, we'll get behind that
National Gun Safe Day and get one. Go to Nickels
store in rock Hills, South Carolina. Tell my good buddy
Darren who owns the store, give him the John Boyd
deal and he'll give you a deal on the safe.

(03:18):
He's got a bunch of safe.

Speaker 7 (03:21):
Yeah, he's got safe big enough you could hide in
during the tornado.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
That's right, all right, cool, Okay, so we got that
going in National Cognac Day. It's a variety of brandy
and then National Old Maid's Day. I've always thought this
kind of hurtful, just him and an older lady that
didn't have kids, and that doesn't necessarily me she cleans up.

Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, you know, you know what we call them? Happy women?

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, well this is kind of made another term frequently used, spinster. Yeah,
back to the cat. Yeah right, So remember all them
women's Days I always complained about, like it was like
eight hundred No, but this is kind of means I
want to go on record of saying I will not

(04:11):
celebrate this. I've drawing a lot. All right, good, good, Okay,
well I think we're ready to play there, all right
with our three dates in history. Now we got to
set you up. Man, were just getting started, all right,
big show, were away. I feel like the time to
go home. Radio, Good morning, big shows on the radio.

(04:34):
Randy just reminded me there is a word for a
man who has never been married, has never been ried.
We haven't.

Speaker 7 (04:41):
We used to have something we could call him, but
we don't do that anymore or in public.

Speaker 6 (04:47):
No, you can't, you know.

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Come on, uh oh here, well what we got here?
Here's our three dates in history where we will get
our three categories. I hadn't even told you what going to
play for. This will get you up. An assortment of
small batch Bertie handcocked County pianus Tyler. Have you got

(05:12):
this anywhere near you?

Speaker 6 (05:15):
Baby?

Speaker 8 (05:15):
You need some help? I sure, all right?

Speaker 9 (05:18):
So they are assortment of small batch hand cooked peanuts
from Bertie, the Southern tradition for over one hundred years,
and you're ruining it.

Speaker 8 (05:31):
Snacks. Smarter peanuts are high and protein.

Speaker 5 (05:33):
Y'all heart healthy and can help lower your cholesterol. So
go nuts at snack time. Enter code JBB at checkout
and get twenty five percent off plus free shipping when
you shop online at Bertecounty Peanuts dot net, or you
can look for the link at the Big Show dot com.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yes, amen, so much, baby, I.

Speaker 1 (05:51):
Can do it again.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
Hold on, so here we are with our three days
in history, ready to go. It was nineteen seventy four.
The never to be repeated ten cent beer Night of
the Cleveland Stadium occurs. Lee No let's find out why
the league president mcpheill rules against any future such events

(06:13):
as a hazard to baseball. Yeah, a little rowdy, little
drunk Cleveland, nineteen seventy four.

Speaker 7 (06:21):
Baseball had a bunch of certain nights that were banned
for a while.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
The seventies was like disco burning night. I burned a
bunch of disco records and that didn't go. I'm sure
we'll get to that. Well, let's move up to three.
Amazon dot common own said had received more than one
million orders for the book Harry Potter and the Order
of the Phoenix, which wouldn't be released until June twenty first.

Speaker 8 (06:46):
Very popular.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
D you do very want to read one of these?
One day Fie Loudness date No.

Speaker 6 (06:55):
Two.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
A young Swedish girl who suffered for seven months with
breathing problems, finally got relief when a surgeon located and
removed a peanut from her nose.

Speaker 5 (07:11):
I can breathe out the weather side.

Speaker 7 (07:15):
It was not a Bertie County peanut, totally a coincidence,
free dog.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Three doctors had been unable to diagnose the element before
a fourth discovered the nut lodged in her nostril.

Speaker 8 (07:35):
I'm cured.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
All right, there you go. That'll work fire three categories
one ain't under the Big Show? Is you told? Free
line across America? We played next Good Morning. It's a

(08:16):
big show on the radio. Roll into your Wednesday, June fourth,
it's your track from the Big Show. Bit bogs where
Axe and I about finding a good divorce lawyer. There's
riggie were divorced, hit a big box, had to make
a show dot com Alu Upburst. Let's play Upburst. It's

(08:38):
the game that anyone can win, John Boys and buy
give you prizzes from the big prize being.

Speaker 10 (08:48):
Let's go contested number one. This should really be a
lot of fun when you're playing Upburst. Have a hurry
up and guest time you love the best time and
big shots.

Speaker 11 (09:03):
Let's say hey from knockvill Shot.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
John Boy, Hey, Morty Jesse, They welcome in here, buddy.
All right, well, let's get you through these three categories
and get you them wonderful bird Tea County Peanuts over
the Knoxville and County Knox County. All right, okay, yeah,
I'd like to quiz myself on geography every once in

(09:40):
a while, Eat some slurk, spent some great times in
Knoxville Malfunction Junction back in the day. Okay, absolutely, well, Chester,
let's get you five seconds. Give us three things in
a baseball game. Ready to go, beer, peanuts, a bat,
and pike gives I Just while you're here, I looked

(10:04):
it up.

Speaker 7 (10:04):
There were four things. Baseball nights are banned forever because
each one of them ended in a riot. Okay, Beer
night night was number one. Then scrap metal Night was
that like a heavy metal den. No scrap metal people
brought scrap Yeah? Well, okay, wet T Shirt night now

(10:25):
that has disaster and the one you referenced Disco Demolition
Night band forever who.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
Was fighting to the wet t shirt? All right, well,
I jes well, let's get you category number two here.
Uh oh, I hope you know three characters from Harry
Potter books. Ready go.

Speaker 7 (10:49):
Harry Potter, Rotten Weasley and double doore right.

Speaker 12 (10:56):
All right, double door, dumble door. Okay, they got chess
glove in that book. A right chest before the wind,
three nuts, ready to.

Speaker 13 (11:09):
Go, walnuts, hazel nuts and chestnuts.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Mam mam, Chester, you got the Birteeth County Peanuts Prize.
Fag you gonna love these. We'll give them the Knoxville
for you. Winding wenty hour tape of your news about

(11:37):
twenty minutes away.

Speaker 14 (11:39):
My rabbi reviews yet my man been to the movie.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Just
a little over an hour. Greg Warren all about his
new comedy special on YouTube, The Champ YouTube.

Speaker 5 (12:32):
That's right, Napergotzi channel.

Speaker 6 (12:36):
Yeah, man, Oh, he is so funny.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Gotta pulling thing Apple. But this morning, let's just say case.
Let's just see that's the word.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
I like it.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Lot of their day.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
Right, Well, I'm entertainment News. Not ready for that and
coming in minutes. Big show rolls on. Good morning, there's

(13:42):
a big show on the radio. Well, our man in
the aisles is back with a review of one of
the most anticipated movies of the summer. Let's welcome back, Rabbi,
Myron Bergstein.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Shall Ony homies.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
What's happening? I have a sea Rabbi.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
Hey, I've done this before.

Speaker 2 (13:58):
I know the trail.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Besides, you think I'm gonna stand here, I got the gout.

Speaker 12 (14:02):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
If you're hurt and you don't have to come in, hey, listen,
I can play hate.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
It's when the great ones dig deep.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
I can't just lay out of work for several weeks
for some minor problem, like some kind of fancy schmancy
DJ it was.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
A knee replacement surgery. Oo fa, Sid, you're weak, weak.
I think we're getting on track. So, uh, did you
see the New Mission Impossible?

Speaker 5 (14:27):
No?

Speaker 6 (14:27):
Hell no?

Speaker 5 (14:28):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (14:28):
I dont you love those movies? I do?

Speaker 1 (14:30):
But the lead guy is like what eighty now? And
it's the last one, so you know people are gonna
get bumped off. I can't sit through that. I'm a
nervous wreck just thinking about it. Thanks for reminding me.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
You're so, what did you see?

Speaker 1 (14:46):
I saw that New Karate Boy movie. It's like a
mishmasher the old Karate Boy movie and the New Karate
Boy movie and the TV show Cobra.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Got sounds interesting?

Speaker 1 (14:57):
Why the hell do you think they made the movie?

Speaker 6 (14:59):
Point?

Speaker 2 (15:00):
So it was the story?

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Okay, So this kung fu wonder kid moves to New
York with his mom. He's, you know, kind of a Lona.
Tries to fit into this new world, but he gets
in a scuffle and then there's a karate competition but
he skills ain't enough to win. But two teachers, the
old guy from the movie with Will Smith's hunt Kid
and the other the original karate Boy team up to

(15:24):
get him ready for the fight of his life. The
only thing it's missing was the original mister Mitsubishi hit me.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Sounds a little complicated.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
Well, I'm sure if you only watch hunting shows and
he runs it might be a bit challenging. But this
is a good old fashioned popcorn movie.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
How's it cast?

Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh, everyone is fantastic, but my favorite is the original
karate Boy, Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Ralph Machio. Ralph Macchio plays Daniel LaRusso.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
I thought that was Potzi's boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
That's Ralph Mouth.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
I thought that was the flamer that makes the overpriced
pvery fume.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
That's Ralph Lauren.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
I thought that was the dad from the Vaultons whose
kids looked nothing like him.

Speaker 2 (16:15):
That's Ralph Waite.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
I thought that was the old hippie from the seventies
that ran for president but had less of a chance
than Al Shoppy.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
That's Ralph Nader.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
I thought that was the guy who wanted to send
his wife to him up.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
That's Ralph Crampton.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
I thought that was the video game guy that kept
breaking everything.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Let's wreck it, Ralph.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Now see, I thought that was the man girl from
the Hootersville Brothers who worked as a handyman.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
That was Alf and Ralph Monroe.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
I thought that was the talking coppet from out of
Space that had cats.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
That's Alf. So who the hell am I thinking?

Speaker 1 (16:54):
Ralph Maggio, Why are all the red headed guy's pansy?

Speaker 2 (17:00):
What did you think?

Speaker 1 (17:01):
I think he had everyone fooled, but he had his
eye on Phonsie.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
No the movie, ah.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Well, I give it four and a half yamakas out
of five. Well the Great Picture PIFEC Summer movie. You
laugh a little, your ky a little, You eat over
priced popcorn? What else do you need unless wholesomeness and
family values aren't your bag. Maybe that sort of thing
tange your stomach. Maybe you'd rather see people getting getting
gobbled up by monsters or maniacs stalking campers, or maybe

(17:31):
you want to see one of them boy meets girl
but dumbs girl for another boy. That's exactly what's going
on hit this world today watching that provided garbage. Hey,
do what you want in the privacy of your eulo
sex backroom, but don't stick it out there for the
rest of us that have to look at you want
to dye your hair, Piper and ate dirty bucks to kids.

(17:52):
Not on my watch. You're sick, twisted and moral disgusting, obnoxious,
And I'll say it back it is possible.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
I am misreading the room.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Go in peace, your best and remember see you mat
Nay it's.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
Jeaper still another pass bag for you lessen thirty minutes
from right now. It's a big sello letting somebody better
damn it than me, tell you than me all.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Right time by be the Big Show that stuff picking
me up at you? It's you, Marcel. What am I
doing well?

Speaker 3 (18:32):
When I'm not hanging up on ra thing fat boy
and trying to cure Babs of her terminal blondness, I'm
listening to my two favorite straight white Southern points, John
Boyant Billie and The Big Show. Oh Marcell, just stop, No,
I won't tell Randy you said hello.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Good morning. That's make show on the radio for your Wednesday,
June the fourth. Don't get John one Bill of Late
Risers podcast, And we have an ever growing number Big
Show listeners. That's the only way that they listen to
the Big Show these days.

Speaker 4 (19:39):
I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Man's stream and stuff. If it comes a day that
we're not on terrestrial radio that you get to listen to.
I know those radio stations and managements and stupids, different
program directors in general manager.

Speaker 15 (19:57):
Okay, stop in a way radio, just stop. There is
going You're gonna go too far. I just know it
might be right. So I got my point across. Yeah,
I don't know Randy knows what my point was gonna be.
But yeah, none of you other du tater Can you
win me babies?

Speaker 8 (20:12):
I know that's.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
John boyn Billy Late Risers podcast subscribing to us with
a free I Heart Radio. F get you John Boy
and Billy no matter where you are in the world.
He what could go wrong? Good morning, Big Shows on
the radio. Coming up, We played John boyd Jepitey. You
can win one hundred twenty dollars worth of bulls not

(20:40):
cleaning products made in the USA. Click on that link
at the Big Show dot Com learn all about bulls
not available to truck stops across America. Hang on play
for it in minutes. Right now, it's time for Taylor
Taman News and here's our girl, Marcy Tator Morin.

Speaker 5 (20:59):
Hi, thank you ver much, ver much so Taylor Swift
in the news. I should report when she's not in
the news.

Speaker 8 (21:06):
That'd probably be more newsworthy.

Speaker 5 (21:08):
But she is now the proud owner of her entire
life's work. Remember when we were telling you about that
that Scooter Braun took all her catalog and sold it,
and he sold it to an investment company called Shamrock Capital. Well,
she paid and estimated three hundred and sixty million dollars
for her master recordings from twenty nineteen that they sold

(21:31):
to Shamrock. So she paid Shamrock that amount of money.
And she said that Shamrock was the first people. They
were the first people to ever offer her a deal
with no strings attached.

Speaker 8 (21:41):
So what she bought back.

Speaker 5 (21:43):
Was all of her music videos, all of her concert films,
the album art photography, unreleased songs, all of her memories,
all of the magic, all of the madness, every single
era she said, my entire life's work end quote.

Speaker 8 (21:58):
That she got back and.

Speaker 7 (22:00):
They paid like half a billion dollars for it.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
So Scooter Braun.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
Scooter Braun was the producer, okay, And and I don't
know how he ended up with it.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
The right, right.

Speaker 5 (22:17):
And so what she did, which is what we've been
talking about, was she started to remaster all of those songs,
and so most of the radio stations and on Spotify
things like that is labeled as Taylor's version. Okay, all right,
So the way that she was hitting them back was well,
I'm gonna own these and iHeart was the main one

(22:39):
that she made a deal with that they said, we
will only play your version so that you get all
the royalties, and this new company that owns your masters don't.

Speaker 7 (22:48):
But don't think the guy Scooter sold everything to did
too poorly.

Speaker 5 (22:51):
No, no, no, they may have gotten them back for
the same price, but they still profited because her music
royalties for the first six albums that they owned generated
sixty million in annual revenue. But the record label responded
to Taylor's remaking of her albums and Swiftie's loyalty of
listening to only the re recordings. Now the contract clauses

(23:13):
prohibit artists from repeating Taylor's maneuver. So now there's a
clause and you can't go back and read, you know,
you can't touch the song at all. Now, where she
was able to go and do it.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
So I wonder which ones I would like the best?

Speaker 8 (23:30):
Shake it Off? Probably shake it No.

Speaker 5 (23:32):
I think I think you would like the remasters because
she was able to well one thing, they were all
in her mature voice, because you know, she started out
at sixteen and she redid all those and she did
all But what about.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
The videos like in all the Wild Out vis you know,
the line tamer and shooting out of a cannon.

Speaker 5 (23:49):
They owned all that, but now she owns she owns it,
she owns it down. So the Era's tour was all
of her new remastered music. She only didn't she didn't
get to the Reputation album and fans were waying for it,
and she was, you know, a little tied up with
that little bit of a tour she had. She didn't
have to She doesn't have to do that now, and
they Spotify, where is it?

Speaker 8 (24:09):
Where is it?

Speaker 6 (24:09):
Where is it?

Speaker 5 (24:11):
So the day that the deal was made, Spotify went
off the charts with people being able to go in
and download that song now because everybody original everybody was
staying away from it, and she had done a Taylor's
version of it.

Speaker 8 (24:23):
And so then I mean, she just prints.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Money, So she's gonna be okay, anything except tell you
who to vote for for president by Swift, I'll go
enjoy you.

Speaker 8 (24:46):
Travis is doing great.

Speaker 5 (24:47):
He was asked about it and he quote said, when
it comes to contracts and copyright law, that's all Taylor.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (24:53):
I think she's got the brain. She's the brain. So
all right.

Speaker 5 (25:00):
Uh. Netflix will release the fifth and final season of
Stranger Things and three Chunks at the end of this year,
So if you're a Stranger Things fan, this first episode
will arrive Thanksgiving weekend, followed by part two on Christmas Day,
and then the final premieres on New Year's Eve.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
Very well played.

Speaker 5 (25:18):
Stranger Things also scheduled for Netflix on Christmas Day two
NFL games, the Cowboys against the Commanders and the Lions
against the Vikings. So Netflix now should be carrying your
Christmas about Christmas CA.

Speaker 7 (25:32):
Yeah, they're working hard to earn all the sports.

Speaker 6 (25:35):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
And by the way, you know NASCAR, there is a
few races that we got going on is on an
Amazon prom if you're looking for I even forgot it
when I got back from the wet trying to find changes.

Speaker 8 (25:50):
Changes are coming, and it can see why I was.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Going on my rant about y'all need to learn how
to stream. Yes, radio, It's.

Speaker 8 (25:59):
Just that's the way.

Speaker 5 (26:01):
My last bit of news is Meet the Parents four
is coming out.

Speaker 8 (26:06):
Why Meet the Parents?

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Why not?

Speaker 8 (26:09):
Yes, he's gonna be in it.

Speaker 5 (26:10):
Ben Stiller is going to be an Ariana Grande is
going to be starring in it.

Speaker 8 (26:14):
It's the fourth edition of the comedy Meet the Parents.

Speaker 5 (26:17):
The script calls for Arianna to play the ball busting
fiance end quote of gay Lord and Pam Fowkker's son.
So Ben Stiller will still be playing gay Lord, Cary
Polo will be Pam uh and uh. Robert de Niro,
who's eighty one, is going to be in it. Light
Danner is supposed to be in it, but everybody's finalizing
their details. So Arianna was in Wicked and apparently Hollywood

(26:39):
loves her and thinks that she can sell a movie.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
So sell a movie movie?

Speaker 5 (26:47):
Oh no, thank you to the Hollywood Reporter and TMZ
for all of your input.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
Okay, thank you very much. We'll let's get us a winner.
Let's play john Boy Jeopardy. All right, review yesterday's question
we found out should you find yourself in a desperate
quote rugby team airplane cross scenario. According to a study
funded by the US government, this human body part has

(27:12):
these single highest calorie counts. Eat the brain that the
zombies all ride a ride by the way, the brain
has twenty seven hundred and six calories, which is almost
as much as five McDonald's Big max yep government research.

Speaker 8 (27:29):
Does it taste as good?

Speaker 2 (27:31):
Hopefully those shut that one down. Today's John Boygeofardy. While
it is technically considered recreation and entertainment, this industry generates
more money than movies, music, theme parks, cruise ships, and
spectator sports combined.

Speaker 8 (27:50):
What is the cat house?

Speaker 2 (27:51):
The cat out? What's y'all got?

Speaker 4 (27:57):
One?

Speaker 2 (27:57):
Eight hundred Big Show you told? Free line. We play
John Boy Jeopardy in next Good Morning. It's a Big

(28:28):
Show on a radio. Coming to you Homeday, Wednesday, June four.
Today's feature track for the Big Show Big Box Axite Turner,
Finding a good divorce Lawyer. Start for keyword Divorce. Over
ten thousand tracks you choose from No Nonsense. He's get
fifteen tracktions No.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
No.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Nine Hit Big Box at the Big Show dot Com.
Right now, Let's play Yells live across America. It's John
Boy Jeopardy.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
And now your host.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Even after forty five years.

Speaker 7 (29:02):
His wife says she's never considered divorce murder.

Speaker 12 (29:06):
Oh yeah, lots of times, but never divorce.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
Pease John Boy like you. Let's say hated Taylor out
of Cobbtown, Georgia. Good morning, Taylor, Good morning, Hey buddy, welcome.
You got the first shot at John Boygemity this morning.

Speaker 7 (29:25):
So, uh, say what, buddy, it's his first time first shop.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
Alight the boy. Taylor's elsie for you? Now you feel
it homeless, Let's get what you think. So it is
technically considered recreation and entertainment, but this industry generates more
money than movies, music, theme parks, cruise ships, and spectator
sports combined. Don't let Tator's answer the catouse for what

(29:56):
she thinks. That's all, guys, won't. That's all I want.
We're getting that out of the way. Go on, Taylor,
what you got buddy? Yeah, I'm sorry again, Taylor. I
can hear your head. She all out the window. What'd

(30:17):
you say?

Speaker 7 (30:18):
There's gambling?

Speaker 2 (30:20):
Gambling? Let's see, Yes, gambling, that's.

Speaker 6 (30:27):
The other thing.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Where about Taylor?

Speaker 8 (30:31):
I think you are taking a gamble with it?

Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yeah, man, gambling oh you talking about billions? Billions? We
all cut it out, Taylor. You got one hundred and
twenty dollars worth of bull snot headed down the cop
down for you? Oh all right, find the money hour, Tommy,

(30:58):
you new right on the other side. All right, tell
by Wednesday morning time. God's so remember right where it is?
It is June four. This is the award winning John

(31:37):
Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.

Speaker 6 (31:50):
Yon Boy, Mally Yo mad Man, come back, I say.
Congress is finally investigating the most critical problem facing America today.
Baseball players eating steroids? Hey did I miss something? When
do we stemp out global terrorism and balance a budget?
Social Security is going broke their starving handicapped people to

(32:14):
death down in Florida? What's Washington worried about whether Mark
McGuire was jew stuff when it was on his old
Romp Street back in ninety eight, My big old But
will politicians just investigate anything to keep them accidentally doing
something useful? Congress getting on somebody for using banned substances

(32:37):
no irony there, Huh, that's gotta hurt. Ted Kennedy asking
you how come your heads so big and why they
on steroids. If a Yankee signed some guy that wears glass,
isn't it goes out and has that laser eye surgery,
Nobody says boo to him. Ain't that a performance enhancing?
Of course, these guys get paid so much now, ain't

(33:01):
got a lot of pressure to get the job done,
Especially when you think about a guy like Babe Ruth
never did a push up in his life, seventy five
pounds overweight, hed hit the field on no sleep, drunk,
eat up with the crabs, and stool slip three balls
up in the cheap seas for little Toby in the hospital.

(33:21):
I see if I was a twenty two year old
Mexican pulling down about ten thousand dollars a minute, I'd
be feeling some pressure due I reckon. Next thing, will
see some big name baseball guy doing anenty steroid commercials.
But who they gonna get? Look at the names caught
up in this mess. Barry Bond, Sammy Sosa, Kurt Shilling,

(33:43):
Mark McGuire, who's left some I'm a rookie left fielder
from Utah and Don Zimmer. Why about this, my kids,
This is Pete Rose. I just honored baseball by gambling
on games I was involved in. But there's one thing
I never messed with steroids. Those stands come, don't do
the juice how ifect if you think that the now personally,

(34:06):
as long as I get to wash a good ball game,
I don't care what they shoot or snort or swallow.
Those they can say. God could pump Darryl Strawberry up
in the dugout light his crack pipe for it. Don't
make no difference to me. I ain't the one eating
all them drugs. I ain't the one gotta deal with
the side effects. And by that I mean steroids give

(34:28):
you thirty inch arms, but they also turn your great nuts,
and they raising that. I'm kind of poetic when you
think about it. Eat a bunch of that stuff, become
a superstar. You got a whole kind of hot women
following you around all the time, and you too shriveled
up to do anything about it. On the right side,
they won't have to worry about embarrassing their kids on

(34:50):
father someday at school. In other words, they're adults. If
they're willing to roll the dice, they all have to
take the hit. So Congress needs to shut up, cut
out let him play ball and quit wording my law.
Go have a nice day, don't do the jews.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
Sean Boy and Dilly Honey, bring me my beeftea headache,
powder and a glass of water. Good morning, radio, dumb right,

(35:46):
Good Wednesday morning. You got the big show on the radio.
I haven't got a call coming in now from Dismal
seap in South Carolina. Let's welcome the town's mayor, the
Honorball Merwin Q fiddle swoop. Good morning, mister mayor.

Speaker 4 (36:01):
Good morning, John Boy. This is the Honorable Merwin Q Fiddleswoop.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Yeah, I know I just said that.

Speaker 4 (36:08):
Yeah. It's an election year, so it doesn't hurt to
remind people.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Watch new and Dismal Seepage.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
There's only something new in Dismal Seepage, John Boy. As
you know, Halloween is rapidly approaching and we're about to
have the first annual Costumeless Halloween Festival.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Costumeless Halloween Festival.

Speaker 4 (36:30):
You see, John Boy. In today's economy, it seems sort
of reckless to spend money on a costume you might
only use once a year. Of course, more often if
you rob banks. But for most people it's a one
off proposition.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Right, so what sort of Halloween festival is this going
to be? Without costumes and dressing up?

Speaker 4 (36:50):
I'm glad you asked, John Boy. The inspiration for the
Dismal Seepage costumeless Halloween festival is our citizens wild. Dismal
Seepage is a beautiful, sleepy town. The residents are how
shall I put this unattractive?

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Unattractive?

Speaker 4 (37:11):
Well, maybe played would be a better description.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Plane.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
Yeah, that just doesn't quite paint the proper picture. Let's
be blunt. They're ugly.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Ah, whoa, Now you're calling the people of Dismal Seepage ugly?

Speaker 4 (37:25):
Whoa?

Speaker 6 (37:25):
Whoa?

Speaker 4 (37:25):
Now, it's just not me.

Speaker 6 (37:27):
Let me read you some.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
Let me read you some trip Advisor reviews. Okay, here's one.
Holy crap, these are some ugly people. Skipping ahead, skipping ahead.
Here's a good one. I wish I had the paper
bag business in this town.

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Paper bags, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (37:49):
I assume they're meeting putting the paper bags over people's heads. Oh,
here's a funny one. The Klingons have settled in South Carolina.
This place is a leper colony.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
Who would say something like that?

Speaker 4 (38:04):
Hold on a second, let me see. Ah, it was
me but in fairness, that was five years ago. A
lot has changed, like what we got rid of the
leper colony, but we still have a buttload of some
of the most unattractive people on the East Coast, so
why not make the most of it?

Speaker 2 (38:25):
Well, still seems a bit cruel. Do they know they're ugly?

Speaker 4 (38:29):
Well, pretty sure they do. I mean, even though we
don't have any mirrors in towns.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Well you banned mirrors.

Speaker 4 (38:34):
No, they're all broken. They keep trying to bring them in,
but they they don't last long. In fact, that's one
of the selling points we're using for the festival. Mirrors
can't take it, can you? I can't do it. I
can't do the spooky stuff. But you get the pick up, right.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
So what sort of things are you going to have
at the festival?

Speaker 4 (39:00):
Well, you know that's really that's been a real bugaboo
for us. Obviously, the kissing booth is a non starter.
Food vendors are out because honestly, it's enough to make
you throw up. Games have been our saving grace.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
Ah good games huh?

Speaker 4 (39:17):
Well good as a matter of opinion, I mean, well, yeah, yeah,
of course we've got good games. We're having pin the
tailback on your cousin bobbing for pumpkins and tone death chairs.
That's musical chairs for people who can't carry it too.

Speaker 2 (39:36):
So are you gonna have cornhole?

Speaker 4 (39:38):
Yes, we'll have plenty of portat.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
The game corn Hole.

Speaker 4 (39:44):
Oh no, that's for Hillbillies. And of course the big
Saturday night non costume contests where locals and visitors compete
for the scariest non costume.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
So what do you attribute all these ugly people too?

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Well, this is the South, you know, there's only three
last names in the whole town. So you do the math.
You know what they say, cousins are good for practice,
so take that in West Virginia.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Well that sounds horrifying.

Speaker 4 (40:13):
It is, and that's sort of the point. So grab
your ugly friends and come on down to the big dismal,
seepage costumeless Halloween Festival. This is the Honorable Berwin Q
Fiddle swoop. Oh, I can't do the.

Speaker 13 (40:30):
Scary Good morning. You got the Big Joe on the radio.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
More chances for the win coming up after your news
weathers mart Yeah, this is your old.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
Pals, you stein La Black.

Speaker 16 (40:48):
When I'm not mooching some of that fine Jacques Danielle
Whiskey and I played a right fine gumbo off my
best man, Woodrow Woodrow and that sassy sack of wife
and his on Lizbeth. I'm listening to those twol wacked tears,
John Boy and Philly right down on that there.

Speaker 17 (41:02):
Big show whe there is funny, I garyl Pete.

Speaker 6 (41:38):
Good more.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
Now that's a big show on the radio for you. Wednesday,
June the fourth, all about movies and everything here, howdays
summer blockbusters coming out? That old mile Lord and Hitch
selling millions men's dollars? Can't you figure out what kind
of little animal he is running around there being cute?

(41:59):
I guess you.

Speaker 8 (42:03):
I found out a little bit more about it. Do
you need me to tell you a little bit more
about it?

Speaker 2 (42:06):
Well, just do you know what loves the.

Speaker 8 (42:09):
Girl and stitches an extraterrestrial?

Speaker 2 (42:12):
Oh, a little lady. And of course.

Speaker 8 (42:17):
This looks like a dog.

Speaker 4 (42:19):
I found this.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
I mentioned this, y'all, like something that looks like a
dog in these purple all right, so something that happens
often in the movies. That's one hundred percent unrealistic. Okay,
they did a little survey deal on that, all right,
So Okay, somebody falls and catches the edge of something
hanging on by just their fingers. Oh yeah, of course,

(42:43):
but not real Over time, they say, unrealistic. Spotless air
ducks like air ducks that can support the weight of
a two hundred pound man moving through them, aren't full
of screws, and they absorbed the sounds of the man
moving around. Don't sure where he is. You got to
shoot up there at of you know why.

Speaker 8 (43:04):
I was going to hide up there, but now I'm
not gonna That.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Was a good part of Die Hard.

Speaker 6 (43:08):
It was like.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
People getting pistol whipped, being knocked unconscious and waking up later.
Functioning normally is if nothing happened. A character moving four
feet from the other characters and having a full volume
side conversation that no one else can hear. Okay, yeah,

(43:32):
that happens a lot on the Andy Griffiths Show.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
He was.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
A hero. This unrealistic the survey. This is number five,
a hero being assaulted by a dozen henchmen using fist
feet metal bars, only to end up with a small
butterfly bandage on their cheeks. Also when they attack, I've
noticed this. It's one of the time and they kind

(44:00):
of wait their turn, don't they. I learned that other
Batman was the TV show The Google, Oh the real way. Yeah.
The general lack of tiredness is something. Yeah, you know,
and they never eat.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
You know.

Speaker 8 (44:19):
I see them go for days, They're awake for days
and they never eat.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
That's right. Well, this is one. Let me get into it.
So here the general lack of tiredness. Number seven unemployed
bachelors with spacious penthouse apartments in desirable locations.

Speaker 8 (44:35):
Doing well, doing nothing.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Number eight waking up looking fresh and styled and.

Speaker 8 (44:40):
Mostly in a very good mood, and making out really fast.
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
Number nine hackers saying hmm, typing three hundred words per minute,
and then five seconds later saying I'm in Number ten,
This is about eating Taylor, but it's bordering a meal,
eating just one bite, then chucking the whole thing cause
you have to go somewhere.

Speaker 8 (45:06):
Yes like that?

Speaker 2 (45:10):
All right, all right, we'll keep an eye on those.
We need some numbers to support these findings. We'll have
those on Tight Entertainment News next week.
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Billy James

Billy James

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Johnny "John Boy" Isley

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