December 3, 2025 • 38 mins
Wednesday (pt 2 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll hear from the Christmas Chipmunks - now that they’ve reached legal drinking age.. - Tater updates us on the celebrity news with this weeks Tatertainment report.. - J.D.’s 24-Hour Stores is having their annual Christmas Blowout Sale.. - Redneck Joan Jet sings Billy’s all-time favorite Christmas song, “I Love Santa Claus”.. - Larry the Cable Guy shares his favorite Christmas Carols.. - Randy’s wife, Doodles is celebrating her birthday - so we throw her hair salon a freebie.. - Mark Packer covers the Southern Fried Football scenes.. - Lipless’ cousin stops by and we’ll wrap up with “How the Grump Stole Christmas”…
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yes, he's a big je on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
On Wednesday, de sent your third feature track from the
Big Show bet Box, How the Grump Stole Christmas keyword
Grump hit the bed Box at the Big Show dot Com.
Here right now, it's how to play beat the Blunt.
Let's meet our contestant. Say hey to Gregory, how to
Smirna Tennessee morning.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Gregory, Good morning, John boy million ah y'all?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
All right, well, Gregory, we'll ask Dator some questions. You
agree or disagree. If you get too right for too wrong,
you wins or just read our girl through the phone.
All right, Well, tyer, there was a time when last
names were derived from your trade or occupation.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yes, so, obvious examples would be Baker, Taylor, and Carpenter.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
What did the Websters do? The Websters?
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Oh, the websters next door neighbors.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
They made cloth for clothing.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Websters made cloth? Well, Gregorick, do you agree or disagree
with that?
Speaker 6 (01:43):
I'll agree?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Sounds right?
Speaker 6 (01:45):
Nothing, go well, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Good gun instea? Yes, they were weavers of cloth. Webster
is an Old English term for them. Well, there's number two,
Get another bell and you win. Greg red Tainter, there
are primarily three colors on a roulette wheel. I saw
that so red, black? We know those two?
Speaker 5 (02:16):
And what what what of the loser color? Yellow is
the other color?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Tedler says, yellow is the other color with red and
black on the rue let wheels. Gregory, agree or disagree?
I disagree.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
I think it's green.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And you are correct. Disagree one and it is green.
You never bet on the zeros or the double zeros.
I'm gissing, are you not supposed to? Well, Gregory, look
at you, winn and you got the bird tea County
(02:53):
peanuts heading over to spurring them for you.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
All right, I'll give me one last shout out.
Speaker 6 (02:58):
Before y'all hit the road.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It's your game, buddy, Okay, Well, first gonna miss y'all
and thinking I'm gonna go ahead, and that's by retirement.
Speaker 7 (03:07):
From the radio too. I like to I like to
thank my biggest fans, me and myself and I.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And y'all have a great life, and thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That is that the speech rader you hired some material
work out, buddy, we'll get back up.
Speaker 8 (03:25):
I go.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
All right, gonna jump out and shut you up on
your news. Wanna tell on the other side, Larry the
Cable guys Christmas carols, introduce him on the big show
here during holiday season. Lots of the great memories and
something like this too old table, Good morning. That's a
(04:18):
big show on the radio. Their holidays.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
What are your friends and family about, old Bud Larry
the Cable gud No.
Speaker 9 (04:28):
I just got some Christmas carols, and boy, I tell
you what now.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Very Larry Christmas Larry Bean tour doing some Christmas shots
in this world tour. It ran a week and three
days tried.
Speaker 9 (04:39):
We celebrate in the course with Christmas. When the Lord
discovered America on the Edmund Fitzgerald you can read about
it in second parentheses. And I got some good Christmas carols.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Of course.
Speaker 9 (04:54):
I'm a black belt in karaoke. Shaw, I'm a good
sang gay job. You boom boom boom ba sleek money
don't grow on trees, you bom bom bom bone heart
hair lip angel say foggy. She has the most wonderful
(05:19):
glass I have seen. It's terming, its round and it's leaning.
It's mean.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Two bat she's fifteen. That's it, that's not You're in
picture of time out Florida. I apologize you call the doctor.
Liz bleeding, try to pet my pitbull.
Speaker 9 (05:39):
Sam that dumb some clean new batter. Now he's in
the hospital without his hands. Sidilent for dead leaf arch
always calm, not for long, will come all year legalamigrants
(06:04):
come and get damn green, catch and learn some day.
I mean, lad man.
Speaker 10 (06:11):
How to drive.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Reg just embarrassing yourself.
Speaker 9 (06:17):
Donnie to retard an acorn water heads about thirt three,
and he said to me, I like Tayter touch get
her damn.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Good.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Wednesday morning, big shows on the radio. No a few minutes,
Marvin Webster, y'all, what's up y'all?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Don hey Man with Tobama's house for Thanksgiving, went back
like it always does, about eight until we was about
to pop. It was twelve arguments broke out. One kid
always go home with bloodstains on his clothes with somewhere,
Uncle said, sat down in the living room under his breeches.
He was asleep five minutes for the ball game ever started.
I said, wake up, said your pants about to fall off.
(07:24):
He said, huh, what the score is? Must be all
that turkey go at. You know, Tucky got all that
trip tonight in it. That stuff knock a man out
and along. About five o'clock, Mama started working me about
taking her and her sister to the mall in the morning.
Oh no, I hate that, baby. Me and your aunt
sure could use a driver to run us through the
(07:45):
mall first thing in the morning. You know your aunt
got that handicap parking pan. It'll be just like last year.
You can wheel right up to the party like Kanye West.
And I do love me some handicap parking. But when
Kanye get to the party, he don't have to follow
two women around for eight hours car in their bag
for it. I said, Mama, I ain't got nothing but
(08:05):
love for you, but I just can't do it again
this year. Why you got to go on Friday anyway?
You know what it's gonna be like eighty thousand people
in there fighting over the same set of discount draws
and they got the same Zac stuff the next day too.
Won't y'all wait till Saturday. I'll take you over there.
Then that's when my loud cousin Lamar always pops up. No, man,
you got to go on Black Friday so you can
(08:27):
get all them special door busted deals. You can go
in see it and get a twelve piece socket set
for a dime to the market, afford to running mouth
because he ain't got no car. Uncle Sid pops up, Lama,
what the same hell you need with a twelve piece
socket set? Only time I see you with a tool
in your hand, you standing at the toilet. So three
men and uncle said, we talked mom into wait until Sarahay.
(08:50):
You know how they call the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday,
because that's when all the black people go shopping. Well,
they need to start calling the next day fat White Saturday,
because it was some white white folks up in the
mall that day. I think they was on Saturday because
they stayed home on Friday to finish off that honey
bag ham from Thursday. You ever know, fat white people
(09:10):
are different from fat black people, especially the women. You
see a fat white girl, she always looked just miserable.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Being big.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Ain't nothing to his sister. She don't walk around in
no flower sack looking dress neither. She always turned out.
Come up on a good looking brother, give him that look.
That's rag baby. You know you want some of these
and he probably does too, because you know, a brother
lucky woman got some junk in the trunk, and I
ain't talking about the kind they sell it. Bed bath
and be gone. The fat white girl ain't got time
(09:38):
to look at no men in the mall. She's too
busy dragging around him two fat kids to her trying
to remember where she left her fat husband at way
down on the other end of the mall, halfway pissed off,
all out of breath, even though he ain't got but
one bag in his Handway. You know it's in that
bag too, don't you. Mama face can get new Friday, Addy, Yeah,
you can tell the fat white people was out on Saturday.
(10:00):
Longest line in the whole place was at the food court.
John Welcome, get your cousins at the mall, y'all think about.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
It that mother, Good morning everybody. The Big Show is
right here on the radio. Safely praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 11 (10:19):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated smile on your
face and a song in your heart as long as
you're buying their bloody gri lillin sauce, John Boy and
Billy on the Big.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Show, Face and the Gorea Good Morning make shows on
(11:12):
the radio. Randy's wife Doodles having a birthday the day huh.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Oh please.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeahl goons and roses, there's just one goon in that relationship. Eah,
body had a happy birthday, doodle Man. Retire here at
the end of the year.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Doodles just might be making you some money if enough
people are into bad haircuts like you there are. We're
not even gonna charge you for this commercial right here, right,
you're right, Happy birthday, Doodles.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Get your hair cut anyway you want at Doodles Hair
sol Get your hair cut any way you want at
Doodles Hair Salon. We'll give you a perm or shorten
the back, even trim the hair at the top of
your crack. Get your hair cut anyway. You are a
(12:11):
Doodle's Hair Salon.
Speaker 8 (12:13):
Hello friends, Your old palp Bert Bird here and I'm
pleased his punch to be the new spokesman for Doodle's
Hair Salon, Millsburg's newest boutique where the shekh go to
get on fleek. Doodle's Hair Salon isn't one of those
mass production haircutteries with two dozen stylists and only six
different haircuts to choose from. Doodles herself does each and
every single haircut, right, Doodles.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Get in the chair and I'll cut trail each.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
One with Doodle's trademark personal touch, just a little off
the top.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
What the hell is this?
Speaker 9 (12:47):
The next and.
Speaker 8 (12:49):
Doodle's hair salon is fully liquor licensed by the state,
and the bar is always open.
Speaker 12 (12:55):
You are you are?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
No, thank you? I'll just have word more kick second.
Speaker 10 (13:11):
All right, oh bhil, are you okay to do this?
Speaker 5 (13:18):
You shut your mouth?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
My year, that is the d go. All the kids
are getting that. Hey, how about that?
Speaker 8 (13:30):
We do perms, poms, mullets, scullets, roosters, afros, whole, froze, mohaff,
bro hof, ho hoff, high fade, low fade, bull cut,
buzz cut, grew cut, butch cut, butch, cassidy butch, Patrick, Patrick, Stewart,
high and tight, low and loose, bob bob, nab page boy,
choir boy, chorus boy, bufont, juwfont, ducktail, schmucktail, pixie cut,
dixie cut, flat top, round top, tippy top, comb over
(13:51):
comb under, beehives, burd nest, Princess Leah, and even that
stupid flock of seagulls hairdode. Then you used to wear
and get your ass kicked by girl scout Drew forty
three and you had to buy a lifetime supply of
docy nose.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
In order to get your retainer back. Nice haircut, dosy boy.
Speaker 8 (14:12):
And how Friends Doodle's Hair Salon is unlike any place
you've ever been. We cater to your every whim. We
even have our very own messusean staff just asked for
old man hands curry hold on now, nah, go ahead,
(14:40):
So come on down to Doodle's Hair Salon, just off
Sweeney Todd Boulevard, across from the offices of James S. Murray,
Pet Cremation and Grandparent Divorce. Doodle's Hair Salon. Put your
head in her hands, Ah Daria, remember the name friends
Doodle's Hair Salon. This is your old pal Bertfern saying,
oh see you there.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Get your hair cut anyway you want at Doodles Hair Salon.
Get your hair cut any way you want at Doodles
Hair so lime. We'll give you a perm or shorten
the pack, even trim the hair at the top of
your crack. Get your hair cut anyway you want at
(15:24):
Doodles Hair Salme.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Good morning, big shows on the radio coming up. We
play worthy word for a big old blue em you
prize pack vedab lim store and online to Walmart, Amazon
other fine retailers. Click on the link when you hit
the Big Show dot com. All right, we got the
pac Man, mister Martin Packer, the purveyor of Southern Fried football.
It's all about college football right now. Pack Good morning,
(15:54):
Glad to have you here with us on this special Wednesday.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
See you got John boy when people are still talking
about Lane Kiffin. I mean, we got all these games.
He had the rivalry games that started on Friday last
week when Texas upset Texas A and M and Georgia
B Georgia Tech and the egg Ball I told you
about that. Keep an eye on Lane Kiffin and ole
Miss and Mississippi State and Lane Kiffen was the story.
(16:20):
I mean even Ohio State Michigan on Saturday, all the
other great A SEC SEC matchups. But everybody's still talking
about Lane Kiffin. And so he finally finally had the
announcement that he is leaving town and going to LSU,
And of course people were still buzzing, going nuts, and
he wanted to coach ole Miss, but they were like no, no, no, dude, listen,
(16:41):
you don't want to be here. You want to go
to ls you catch you later. And then you got
guys like Nick Saban of all maybe the smartest guy
in college football, Johnny is Nick Saban, and Saban sipped
there saying, you know what, I think it'd be a
good idea for Lane Kiffin if he takes the LSU
job to coach All miss to the playoffs. And I'm
thinking myself, have we lost our minds? I mean, this
(17:03):
is the same guy John Boyd Nick Saban when he
was running the show at Alabama, Lane Kiffin was his
offensive coordinator. This is back when the playoffs only had
four teams. They had the semi final round. Lane Kiffen
ends up getting the head coaching job at Florida Atlantic,
and what does Nick Saban do? He fired him. He
(17:25):
fired him before the National championship game, said he was
a distraction. This is the same guy that fired Lane
Kivin before the National championship game in which they lose
to Clemson. The same guy six seven years and then
it goes, oh, yeah, he ought to be coaching that team.
I'm like, what is going on? Too much hair dye
(17:45):
on Nick Saban. Now he's a TV star and it
has gone to his brain and you know, he got
Kirk Kirk Street, one of the smartest dudes in television.
When it comes to college football, the whole game, nobody
says anything, and nobody said they coached you. Remember when
you fired the same guy a week. I mean, people
have lost their minds with all this stuff. I mean
(18:05):
it is crazy. And you know I made fun of
the Louisiana governor when they eventually fired Brian Kelly. He said,
this is an outrage. How dare we blame the taxpayers
having to fit the bill to pay this guy fifty
four million dollars not to be the head coach of
our beloved LSB Tigers. We'll never do a deal like
(18:26):
this again. I fast forward to crop a month. John
boy Laane Kiffin is now hired, and I'm reading his contract.
You know what his buyout is. It's not fifty four
it's seventy two million dollar buyout. I think we haven't
lost our minds. I mean, we're not even talking about
(18:47):
games or the playoff rankings anymore. We're just talking about
how much money people are blown away. I had a
speaking engagement down at the Savannah Touchdown Club this week. Now,
I told him, I said, you know, just the fired coaches.
I brought my lineup. I said, you know, for thirty
years on radio and TV, I said, the goal of
every American worker is to be suspended with pay. I said,
(19:09):
college football is taking it to a whole new level.
We are nearly at two hundred and fifty million dollars
in contractual buyout. So this is higher education. I mean,
you think that the fifty five billion or whatever they're
going to pay Brian Kelly, you think they could use
that for education in the state of Louisiana. Holy mackerel,
(19:31):
what are we talking about? So the whole world's gone
upside down? You got all the coaches now, Syrakesiana Texas,
Marcus Freeman at Notre Dame, Manny Diez, Duke talking about
how they should be in If it's like everybody's politicking,
you'll get the Greg Sankee is going to be on
television NonStop this week talking about how six, seven, eight, ten,
(19:52):
five hundred SEC teams ought to be in the playoffs.
You got poor Jim Phillips, the ACC. You got Duke
in Virginia is the ACC title game. There is a chance,
John Boy, that if Duke knocks off Virginia, the ACC
might get completely shut out of the college football playoffs,
completely shut out. So again, what is there to watch?
(20:15):
Tons of championship games this week? Bunch of rematches. You
got Bama and Georgia. Kirby Smart's one in seven all
time against the tie. That's your SEC showdown. It's number
one versus number two in the Big ten Indiana, Ohio
States should be great. You gotta rematch in the Big
twelve with Texas Tech and BYU. Keep an eye on
that game because if if BYU knocks off upsets Texas Tech,
(20:38):
BYU is gonna be in the playoff. And I still
think Texas Tech will probably team and that could be
one of those stealing games.
Speaker 12 (20:44):
Right.
Speaker 7 (20:45):
So you're gonna got a bunch of nervous people. Miami's nervous,
now Dame's nervous. Who knows how this thing's gonna play out.
But the next time you and I talk, we're gonna
know what the field is. And I promise you somebody
will be complaining. That is automatic gearan teed lock and
the whole deal. It is gonna be wild. It's gonna
be crazy.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
That's awesome, sounds you the best pack you own the
throne of Southern Fried football, my boy. Next week, and.
Speaker 7 (21:11):
One more thing, John Boy, while we're talking about Lane
Kiff and all this football right now, ACC SEC Challenge
is underway. We had crazy games last night with Kentucky
and Carolina and Duke in Florida. Good one though tonight
it is gonna be Louisville and Arkansas keeping on on
n C State Auburn, so SEC war out, the SEC war,
the ACC out last year. It'll conclude tonight's again. Hoop's
(21:36):
gonna be good. Football is rocking and rolling. We got
the polls coming out. It's go times, championship time. And
the guy, like I said, next time we get together,
we'll be talking about breaking down the college football playoff
and there we go.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
All right, sounds good pack, Thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Buddy, You got a man I want to talk.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
To you, all right? Does a boy catch up with
Mark next week as well? Man, he's all right, damn well,
let's play our wordy word one eight hundred big show
you total free line at Blue EMU Prize pack up
for grabs including PBC OTC It's Relief Cream, brand new
prescription Strength. Now you do not need a prescription. All right,
(22:11):
did come on one eight hundred, big show you told,
free line, Get a couple of contestants. Play next Good
(22:41):
Wednesday morning, December the third. Every Olympic dream starts with
the first glide through Learn to Skate USA. Kids build confidence,
strength and joy on the ice. Learn to Skate.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
USA offers programs for skaters of all ages and abilities.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Find a program near you and learn to Skate USA
dot com. Right now, come on, let's play our game.
Had everybody's head about the bad? Okay, go birdie word,
dott birdie word. The birdie word was an Olympic event.
Me and Tater be going for the gold.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We La, you said, just like Rick Fern. Who alight,
Let's wad our contestants. We got Connor out of Goldsboro,
North Carolina. Good morning, Connor, good morning, good morning, all right,
home with Carl.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And Shell steakhouse, Oh Morney, Carla Cook, John boyd Billy
grilling sauce. Yeah, best little steakhouse in state voted and
Old Meat magazine all color glad here a magazine. Let's
say hate the emal from Sumter, South Carolina. Good morning,
a meal, good morning, way, good morning, all right, Well boys.
(23:56):
Let me see. It'll be me and Connor and Tater
and the meal. Okay, yes, and guys, we're gonna deal
with winter. Words all right, words to do with winter?
I thought I had to do with winning? All right, Meal,
you relax? Me and Connor?
Speaker 13 (24:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Connor you ready, buddy?
Speaker 7 (24:16):
Oh yeah, let's get.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
It all right. Start the clock.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Now.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
You wear these they call them ugly at Christmas times,
like a over your shirt. What do you wear over
your shirt?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
A wool?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
It's made of wool? Yes, oh, I just said, sheets
are made of this. You cut this off sheep and
make it something. What do you cut off sheep? You
you make some off this that you cut off sheep? Connor? Yes?
Whoa Okay, Santa has twelve of these pulling his slaves reindeer.
(24:53):
All right, well wool. Connor's hung us up there, and
Connor figured out what comes off of sheep. I'm just
looking there. Three on the board, A good deal, Connor.
Three on the board. Tater, an email for your round?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
One?
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Wow? Ready?
Speaker 5 (25:09):
No, all right, Your your truck might have this blank
blank blank. You put it into this gear. You don't
ride around in this all the time. Only when you're
like going through like dirt and stuff. Yeah, what kind
of drive?
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Blank?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
You have four?
Speaker 6 (25:24):
Four will drive?
Speaker 11 (25:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
The opposite, the opposite of the air conditioning is putting
on your what you need to put on the yep.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
This is this.
Speaker 12 (25:34):
These these drop out of trees and there there spiky.
I hate y'all because yeah, and everybody's they're all laughing
at me in here.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Well, anybody's game. It's three to two after round one?
All right, squeaked out too, They're all right, well let's
say what me and Connor can do here for round two? Ready, Connor?
(26:07):
Oh right, oh right, Connor, let's see what we can
do here, buddy, wear pick it up on that last one. Okay,
start the clock. Now you see these on the ground
under this kind of tree, and yes, all right, this
is what the kind of No, oh, it's not uh,
(26:30):
it's what you sleep under in the winter. It's like,
you know, it's like, I've never heard of these. It's like, no,
it's it's like a shirt that lesbians wear. It's black
and it's black and white red. It's thick. It's a
thick shirt.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
What are we doing?
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I'm you're trying to get you to say the first one.
I never heard of those, but a right, what we got? Okay,
we got a wand on come now tell you I'm
trying man, look as a four on the board. All right,
Tainer and Meal can get two and tie three will win?
Picking up on that last one, go all right.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Lumberjacks wear these kind of shirts panel and these are
what you put on your bed.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
You make your bed sheet. So there you are.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
This is how you when you wake up in the
morning and you can't see out your windshield.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
You need one of these.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Well you need it, you hold it and yes, oh
this guy blank blank nipping at your nose, Jack cross.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Jack frost for the wind.
Speaker 13 (27:40):
So I guess y'all have heard of flannel sheets. You're
missing out, sir. They're so warm, don't don't.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Lesbians wear a lot of flannel? Yeah, yes, yeah, the
flannel sheets is you're too hot, nature.
Speaker 6 (27:59):
Warm?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
All right with doll gone at Connor. We didn't do
so well. Let's get another shot down a lot get
there around in it. I'll try to uh color, have
a great day. Email down Sumter. You get your big
old blue em you prize back for you victory, mangratulations.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
The first time get through it, all right, boy, I.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Have a set of wool final sheets on the radio.
You see what I put up with? You little taste
on the air, y'all? Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Uh No?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Move to the wire requested bit of the morning. Let's
see John Morgan a k A. Captain Morgan says, what
was Liplea's cousin's name, the one where his tongue was
connected to the roof of his mouth? Man, I love
that one. Hey, I'll be okay, John, got your requests
coming up next?
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Good morning make shows on the radio, Oh, John, Captain Morgan, Yes,
his requests right now?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (29:40):
How you.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Leonard Well? And tonight Leonard Well? And you're Lipless's cousin. Yeah,
I reckon. I gotta let climb to it, all right?
So how you doing this more?
Speaker 13 (29:53):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
He did you get some breakfast? So you're still eating?
Speaker 6 (30:02):
Now? I always hound like you, Okay, I'm almight afflicted.
You know I was born with a chip on my
tongue attached to the roof of my mile. Wow, I've
never heard of that before. Oh yeah, the whole dang
family got mouth prawl his lip. Don't touch Uncle Claud
got to jaw looked like a pair of dispenser America
(30:26):
bulldog Because of Emmeline got the lizard tongue like old
jeans shimmer, he's steely ice cream off your cone if
you don't watch. And my brother Bart, he got two
rolls of teeth top and bottom. I get shark in jaw.
(30:47):
That makes for one dang ugly family.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So the tim of your tongue attached to the roof
of your mouth up, Yes, that sounds kind of awful.
Oh hell, but it sounds like something that would be
easy enough to have fixed.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
Well, you know, I thought about it. You know, I
wrote the letters from the VA hospital. I ain't sent
it yet.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
No, why not? Can't let that that?
Speaker 6 (31:14):
Come on?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Have you seen the doctor at all?
Speaker 5 (31:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (31:20):
I went once, had to cut the visit short.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You know how come well when he told me to.
Speaker 6 (31:27):
Stick out my tongue and say, oh, I figured that
he's making spoil of them.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Isn't it uncomfortable?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
No?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Not really? You know the stuff I can't do. Of course,
it's kind of hard on the grand kids, you know, Well,
how was it hard on the grandkids?
Speaker 6 (31:43):
Well, you know, youngins are plum crazy about them fart noise.
I can't do lad I showed you.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Look see what I mean. You can't do it right
right after the tongue in there show that's a pretty
pitiful all. Yeah, they're kindly put out by to that
must break your heart. Oh hell, I'm on if nothing else,
he kind of kind of sounds like it's be inconvenient
Yoh yeah, it's a burden on a fella.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
There's lots of stuff you can't do, you know, like
you can't stick your tongue out of folks. You gotta
just rely on flipping them the birds. I ain't never
had an ice cream cone I can remember. Kind of
put your car bosh on a fella's love life too,
you know. I guess after all, you can't get the
(32:33):
lady's listen. You can whistle at them, say what she means.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
So if you're not making time with the ladies, you
must be kind of low. Oh hell, im truth be told.
Speaker 6 (32:45):
I've been married about thirty years.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Really, what's your wife like? Everything?
Speaker 6 (32:51):
But me far I can tell.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I'm sure she she loves you.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
You know what she can give me for christ this year?
Speaker 6 (33:00):
I can't imagine a book of daggum tongue questions like lit,
I says, what are you taking boat?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
That wasn't very nice? Did it hurt your feeling?
Speaker 5 (33:10):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (33:11):
Hell, I'm well listen, I got to go out there.
I don't think I got the food bugger coming on.
The old lady wants to take me home and take
my temperature and says.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I can't hold that.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
Your mama is running my tongue.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
You getting the picture, poor god? Oh hell.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Not.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Get a cup of coffee on the way out. Good morning,
(34:01):
Big Shows on the radio. You like this for your
John Boy Mille holiday album? Key word grump We needed
the big box at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Welcome to Johnboy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode How the
Grump Stole Christmas. All the cast of the Big Show
liked Christmas a lot, but the Grump, their curmudgeon at large,
he did not. The Grump had a tube about the
(34:35):
whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why. No one
quite knows the reason. Some say his head wasn't screwed
on just right. It could be perhaps that his shoes
were too tight, but the most likely reason that he
wasn't tickled may have been that his liver was totally pickled.
But whatever his liver, his head, or his shoes. He
(34:58):
sat home on Christmas Eve, guzzling booze. He grumbled and
grumped to his long suffering honey.
Speaker 14 (35:06):
Christmas just a big scam to make money, wife, and
I on the seventy two years.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
I've put up with it.
Speaker 14 (35:13):
Now I must stop this Christmas from coming.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
But wow, then he got an idea, an awful idea.
The grump got a wonderful, awful idea.
Speaker 14 (35:26):
I will make a fake Santa Claus outfit with spats,
and I'll go to the mall and harass all the brats.
I'll make sure that every last shopper is dissed. Next
time they see Santa Claus, they'll be pissed.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
His wife said, crazy.
Speaker 14 (35:45):
He said, quit your benching, hush, now, get yourself back
in the cushion.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
So Grumpy Claws wore his disguise that was fake and
waited till Mal Santa went on his break. He went
to the fountain to Mal Santa's castle, three sheets to
the wind and ready to hastle. He invited the kids
to come sit on his throne and said.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Keep your list short, then leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Then Grumpy claws started up quite a to do. He
dissed Fervy and Elmo and Pokemon too. Some kids were fooled,
but one kid was quicker.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Hey, daddy, old Santa smells just like cheap liquor.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
His dad knew the Grump wasn't like Santa's passed.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
He said, you're right, Jeffrey, this and his guess. The
mall cop said, wawser oh sanna his face.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
And quick as a flash, sprayed him down with some mace.
The fake Santa Wobble then dropped into Dreamland. The cops
dragged him out past the gap and ice cream Land.
They got in their jeep and drove to his house
and handed him over to his loving spouse. His wife said,
I'm just glad. They said they won't sue and wait
(37:00):
for him to dry out and come to And what
happened next well, eyewitnesses say that the Grump's liver grew
by three sizes. That did his holiday brainstorm came out
as a bust, and from that Christmas on he held
in his disgust. But the very next Christmas he hatched
a new scheme and he he himself the Grump guzzled
(37:24):
Jim Beam the moral. Most stories like this have all
got one, but in this particular case, well there's not one.
And that is the tale of the Grump who got
soused a Christmas time. John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Tune
in again next time and hear Old Dub holler.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Hey, big Man, Let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Big boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
You can shop the Big Bots online right now at
the Big Show dot Com ord a Big Show Step
by phone. The number is eight hundred and four to
seven one. Stuff online services by Anemic dot com.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
You can hear it all the John Bore Milly Late
Risers podcast up next.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free I Heart Radio app.
Speaker 7 (38:18):
Love you Mean It
Yes, he's a big je on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
On Wednesday, de sent your third feature track from the
Big Show bet Box, How the Grump Stole Christmas keyword
Grump hit the bed Box at the Big Show dot Com.
Here right now, it's how to play beat the Blunt.
Let's meet our contestant. Say hey to Gregory, how to
Smirna Tennessee morning.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Gregory, Good morning, John boy million ah y'all?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
All right, well, Gregory, we'll ask Dator some questions. You
agree or disagree. If you get too right for too wrong,
you wins or just read our girl through the phone.
All right, Well, tyer, there was a time when last
names were derived from your trade or occupation.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yes, so, obvious examples would be Baker, Taylor, and Carpenter.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
What did the Websters do? The Websters?
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Oh, the websters next door neighbors.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
They made cloth for clothing.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Websters made cloth? Well, Gregorick, do you agree or disagree
with that?
Speaker 6 (01:43):
I'll agree?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Sounds right?
Speaker 6 (01:45):
Nothing, go well, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Good gun instea? Yes, they were weavers of cloth. Webster
is an Old English term for them. Well, there's number two,
Get another bell and you win. Greg red Tainter, there
are primarily three colors on a roulette wheel. I saw
that so red, black? We know those two?
Speaker 5 (02:16):
And what what what of the loser color? Yellow is
the other color?
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Tedler says, yellow is the other color with red and
black on the rue let wheels. Gregory, agree or disagree?
I disagree.
Speaker 6 (02:32):
I think it's green.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
And you are correct. Disagree one and it is green.
You never bet on the zeros or the double zeros.
I'm gissing, are you not supposed to? Well, Gregory, look
at you, winn and you got the bird tea County
(02:53):
peanuts heading over to spurring them for you.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
All right, I'll give me one last shout out.
Speaker 6 (02:58):
Before y'all hit the road.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
It's your game, buddy, Okay, Well, first gonna miss y'all
and thinking I'm gonna go ahead, and that's by retirement.
Speaker 7 (03:07):
From the radio too. I like to I like to
thank my biggest fans, me and myself and I.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
And y'all have a great life, and thank you.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
That is that the speech rader you hired some material
work out, buddy, we'll get back up.
Speaker 8 (03:25):
I go.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
All right, gonna jump out and shut you up on
your news. Wanna tell on the other side, Larry the
Cable guys Christmas carols, introduce him on the big show
here during holiday season. Lots of the great memories and
something like this too old table, Good morning. That's a
(04:18):
big show on the radio. Their holidays.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
What are your friends and family about, old Bud Larry
the Cable gud No.
Speaker 9 (04:28):
I just got some Christmas carols, and boy, I tell
you what now.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Very Larry Christmas Larry Bean tour doing some Christmas shots
in this world tour. It ran a week and three
days tried.
Speaker 9 (04:39):
We celebrate in the course with Christmas. When the Lord
discovered America on the Edmund Fitzgerald you can read about
it in second parentheses. And I got some good Christmas carols.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Of course.
Speaker 9 (04:54):
I'm a black belt in karaoke. Shaw, I'm a good
sang gay job. You boom boom boom ba sleek money
don't grow on trees, you bom bom bom bone heart
hair lip angel say foggy. She has the most wonderful
(05:19):
glass I have seen. It's terming, its round and it's leaning.
It's mean.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Two bat she's fifteen. That's it, that's not You're in
picture of time out Florida. I apologize you call the doctor.
Liz bleeding, try to pet my pitbull.
Speaker 9 (05:39):
Sam that dumb some clean new batter. Now he's in
the hospital without his hands. Sidilent for dead leaf arch
always calm, not for long, will come all year legalamigrants
(06:04):
come and get damn green, catch and learn some day.
I mean, lad man.
Speaker 10 (06:11):
How to drive.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Reg just embarrassing yourself.
Speaker 9 (06:17):
Donnie to retard an acorn water heads about thirt three,
and he said to me, I like Tayter touch get
her damn.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Good.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Wednesday morning, big shows on the radio. No a few minutes,
Marvin Webster, y'all, what's up y'all?
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Don hey Man with Tobama's house for Thanksgiving, went back
like it always does, about eight until we was about
to pop. It was twelve arguments broke out. One kid
always go home with bloodstains on his clothes with somewhere,
Uncle said, sat down in the living room under his breeches.
He was asleep five minutes for the ball game ever started.
I said, wake up, said your pants about to fall off.
(07:24):
He said, huh, what the score is? Must be all
that turkey go at. You know, Tucky got all that
trip tonight in it. That stuff knock a man out
and along. About five o'clock, Mama started working me about
taking her and her sister to the mall in the morning.
Oh no, I hate that, baby. Me and your aunt
sure could use a driver to run us through the
(07:45):
mall first thing in the morning. You know your aunt
got that handicap parking pan. It'll be just like last year.
You can wheel right up to the party like Kanye West.
And I do love me some handicap parking. But when
Kanye get to the party, he don't have to follow
two women around for eight hours car in their bag
for it. I said, Mama, I ain't got nothing but
(08:05):
love for you, but I just can't do it again
this year. Why you got to go on Friday anyway?
You know what it's gonna be like eighty thousand people
in there fighting over the same set of discount draws
and they got the same Zac stuff the next day too.
Won't y'all wait till Saturday. I'll take you over there.
Then that's when my loud cousin Lamar always pops up. No, man,
you got to go on Black Friday so you can
(08:27):
get all them special door busted deals. You can go
in see it and get a twelve piece socket set
for a dime to the market, afford to running mouth
because he ain't got no car. Uncle Sid pops up, Lama,
what the same hell you need with a twelve piece
socket set? Only time I see you with a tool
in your hand, you standing at the toilet. So three
men and uncle said, we talked mom into wait until Sarahay.
(08:50):
You know how they call the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday,
because that's when all the black people go shopping. Well,
they need to start calling the next day fat White Saturday,
because it was some white white folks up in the
mall that day. I think they was on Saturday because
they stayed home on Friday to finish off that honey
bag ham from Thursday. You ever know, fat white people
(09:10):
are different from fat black people, especially the women. You
see a fat white girl, she always looked just miserable.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Being big.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
Ain't nothing to his sister. She don't walk around in
no flower sack looking dress neither. She always turned out.
Come up on a good looking brother, give him that look.
That's rag baby. You know you want some of these
and he probably does too, because you know, a brother
lucky woman got some junk in the trunk, and I
ain't talking about the kind they sell it. Bed bath
and be gone. The fat white girl ain't got time
(09:38):
to look at no men in the mall. She's too
busy dragging around him two fat kids to her trying
to remember where she left her fat husband at way
down on the other end of the mall, halfway pissed off,
all out of breath, even though he ain't got but
one bag in his Handway. You know it's in that
bag too, don't you. Mama face can get new Friday, Addy, Yeah,
you can tell the fat white people was out on Saturday.
(10:00):
Longest line in the whole place was at the food court.
John Welcome, get your cousins at the mall, y'all think about.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
It that mother, Good morning everybody. The Big Show is
right here on the radio. Safely praised, You're lifted.
Speaker 11 (10:19):
The two fine lads, two boys dedicated smile on your
face and a song in your heart as long as
you're buying their bloody gri lillin sauce, John Boy and
Billy on the Big.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Show, Face and the Gorea Good Morning make shows on
(11:12):
the radio. Randy's wife Doodles having a birthday the day huh.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Oh please.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Yeahl goons and roses, there's just one goon in that relationship. Eah,
body had a happy birthday, doodle Man. Retire here at
the end of the year.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Doodles just might be making you some money if enough
people are into bad haircuts like you there are. We're
not even gonna charge you for this commercial right here, right,
you're right, Happy birthday, Doodles.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
Get your hair cut anyway you want at Doodles Hair
sol Get your hair cut any way you want at
Doodles Hair Salon. We'll give you a perm or shorten
the back, even trim the hair at the top of
your crack. Get your hair cut anyway. You are a
(12:11):
Doodle's Hair Salon.
Speaker 8 (12:13):
Hello friends, Your old palp Bert Bird here and I'm
pleased his punch to be the new spokesman for Doodle's
Hair Salon, Millsburg's newest boutique where the shekh go to
get on fleek. Doodle's Hair Salon isn't one of those
mass production haircutteries with two dozen stylists and only six
different haircuts to choose from. Doodles herself does each and
every single haircut, right, Doodles.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Get in the chair and I'll cut trail each.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
One with Doodle's trademark personal touch, just a little off
the top.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
What the hell is this?
Speaker 9 (12:47):
The next and.
Speaker 8 (12:49):
Doodle's hair salon is fully liquor licensed by the state,
and the bar is always open.
Speaker 12 (12:55):
You are you are?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
No, thank you? I'll just have word more kick second.
Speaker 10 (13:11):
All right, oh bhil, are you okay to do this?
Speaker 5 (13:18):
You shut your mouth?
Speaker 1 (13:21):
My year, that is the d go. All the kids
are getting that. Hey, how about that?
Speaker 8 (13:30):
We do perms, poms, mullets, scullets, roosters, afros, whole, froze, mohaff,
bro hof, ho hoff, high fade, low fade, bull cut,
buzz cut, grew cut, butch cut, butch, cassidy butch, Patrick, Patrick, Stewart,
high and tight, low and loose, bob bob, nab page boy,
choir boy, chorus boy, bufont, juwfont, ducktail, schmucktail, pixie cut,
dixie cut, flat top, round top, tippy top, comb over
(13:51):
comb under, beehives, burd nest, Princess Leah, and even that
stupid flock of seagulls hairdode. Then you used to wear
and get your ass kicked by girl scout Drew forty
three and you had to buy a lifetime supply of
docy nose.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
In order to get your retainer back. Nice haircut, dosy boy.
Speaker 8 (14:12):
And how Friends Doodle's Hair Salon is unlike any place
you've ever been. We cater to your every whim. We
even have our very own messusean staff just asked for
old man hands curry hold on now, nah, go ahead,
(14:40):
So come on down to Doodle's Hair Salon, just off
Sweeney Todd Boulevard, across from the offices of James S. Murray,
Pet Cremation and Grandparent Divorce. Doodle's Hair Salon. Put your
head in her hands, Ah Daria, remember the name friends
Doodle's Hair Salon. This is your old pal Bertfern saying,
oh see you there.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Get your hair cut anyway you want at Doodles Hair Salon.
Get your hair cut any way you want at Doodles
Hair so lime. We'll give you a perm or shorten
the pack, even trim the hair at the top of
your crack. Get your hair cut anyway you want at
(15:24):
Doodles Hair Salme.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Good morning, big shows on the radio coming up. We
play worthy word for a big old blue em you
prize pack vedab lim store and online to Walmart, Amazon
other fine retailers. Click on the link when you hit
the Big Show dot com. All right, we got the
pac Man, mister Martin Packer, the purveyor of Southern Fried football.
It's all about college football right now. Pack Good morning,
(15:54):
Glad to have you here with us on this special Wednesday.
Speaker 7 (15:58):
See you got John boy when people are still talking
about Lane Kiffin. I mean, we got all these games.
He had the rivalry games that started on Friday last
week when Texas upset Texas A and M and Georgia
B Georgia Tech and the egg Ball I told you
about that. Keep an eye on Lane Kiffin and ole
Miss and Mississippi State and Lane Kiffen was the story.
(16:20):
I mean even Ohio State Michigan on Saturday, all the
other great A SEC SEC matchups. But everybody's still talking
about Lane Kiffin. And so he finally finally had the
announcement that he is leaving town and going to LSU,
And of course people were still buzzing, going nuts, and
he wanted to coach ole Miss, but they were like no, no, no, dude, listen,
(16:41):
you don't want to be here. You want to go
to ls you catch you later. And then you got
guys like Nick Saban of all maybe the smartest guy
in college football, Johnny is Nick Saban, and Saban sipped
there saying, you know what, I think it'd be a
good idea for Lane Kiffin if he takes the LSU
job to coach All miss to the playoffs. And I'm
thinking myself, have we lost our minds? I mean, this
(17:03):
is the same guy John Boyd Nick Saban when he
was running the show at Alabama, Lane Kiffin was his
offensive coordinator. This is back when the playoffs only had
four teams. They had the semi final round. Lane Kiffen
ends up getting the head coaching job at Florida Atlantic,
and what does Nick Saban do? He fired him. He
(17:25):
fired him before the National championship game, said he was
a distraction. This is the same guy that fired Lane
Kivin before the National championship game in which they lose
to Clemson. The same guy six seven years and then
it goes, oh, yeah, he ought to be coaching that team.
I'm like, what is going on? Too much hair dye
(17:45):
on Nick Saban. Now he's a TV star and it
has gone to his brain and you know, he got
Kirk Kirk Street, one of the smartest dudes in television.
When it comes to college football, the whole game, nobody
says anything, and nobody said they coached you. Remember when
you fired the same guy a week. I mean, people
have lost their minds with all this stuff. I mean
(18:05):
it is crazy. And you know I made fun of
the Louisiana governor when they eventually fired Brian Kelly. He said,
this is an outrage. How dare we blame the taxpayers
having to fit the bill to pay this guy fifty
four million dollars not to be the head coach of
our beloved LSB Tigers. We'll never do a deal like
(18:26):
this again. I fast forward to crop a month. John
boy Laane Kiffin is now hired, and I'm reading his contract.
You know what his buyout is. It's not fifty four
it's seventy two million dollar buyout. I think we haven't
lost our minds. I mean, we're not even talking about
(18:47):
games or the playoff rankings anymore. We're just talking about
how much money people are blown away. I had a
speaking engagement down at the Savannah Touchdown Club this week. Now,
I told him, I said, you know, just the fired coaches.
I brought my lineup. I said, you know, for thirty
years on radio and TV, I said, the goal of
every American worker is to be suspended with pay. I said,
(19:09):
college football is taking it to a whole new level.
We are nearly at two hundred and fifty million dollars
in contractual buyout. So this is higher education. I mean,
you think that the fifty five billion or whatever they're
going to pay Brian Kelly, you think they could use
that for education in the state of Louisiana. Holy mackerel,
(19:31):
what are we talking about? So the whole world's gone
upside down? You got all the coaches now, Syrakesiana Texas,
Marcus Freeman at Notre Dame, Manny Diez, Duke talking about
how they should be in If it's like everybody's politicking,
you'll get the Greg Sankee is going to be on
television NonStop this week talking about how six, seven, eight, ten,
(19:52):
five hundred SEC teams ought to be in the playoffs.
You got poor Jim Phillips, the ACC. You got Duke
in Virginia is the ACC title game. There is a chance,
John Boy, that if Duke knocks off Virginia, the ACC
might get completely shut out of the college football playoffs,
completely shut out. So again, what is there to watch?
(20:15):
Tons of championship games this week? Bunch of rematches. You
got Bama and Georgia. Kirby Smart's one in seven all
time against the tie. That's your SEC showdown. It's number
one versus number two in the Big ten Indiana, Ohio
States should be great. You gotta rematch in the Big
twelve with Texas Tech and BYU. Keep an eye on
that game because if if BYU knocks off upsets Texas Tech,
(20:38):
BYU is gonna be in the playoff. And I still
think Texas Tech will probably team and that could be
one of those stealing games.
Speaker 12 (20:44):
Right.
Speaker 7 (20:45):
So you're gonna got a bunch of nervous people. Miami's nervous,
now Dame's nervous. Who knows how this thing's gonna play out.
But the next time you and I talk, we're gonna
know what the field is. And I promise you somebody
will be complaining. That is automatic gearan teed lock and
the whole deal. It is gonna be wild. It's gonna
be crazy.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
That's awesome, sounds you the best pack you own the
throne of Southern Fried football, my boy. Next week, and.
Speaker 7 (21:11):
One more thing, John Boy, while we're talking about Lane
Kiff and all this football right now, ACC SEC Challenge
is underway. We had crazy games last night with Kentucky
and Carolina and Duke in Florida. Good one though tonight
it is gonna be Louisville and Arkansas keeping on on
n C State Auburn, so SEC war out, the SEC war,
the ACC out last year. It'll conclude tonight's again. Hoop's
(21:36):
gonna be good. Football is rocking and rolling. We got
the polls coming out. It's go times, championship time. And
the guy, like I said, next time we get together,
we'll be talking about breaking down the college football playoff
and there we go.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
All right, sounds good pack, Thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (21:49):
Buddy, You got a man I want to talk.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
To you, all right? Does a boy catch up with
Mark next week as well? Man, he's all right, damn well,
let's play our wordy word one eight hundred big show
you total free line at Blue EMU Prize pack up
for grabs including PBC OTC It's Relief Cream, brand new
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(22:11):
did come on one eight hundred, big show you told,
free line, Get a couple of contestants. Play next Good
(22:41):
Wednesday morning, December the third. Every Olympic dream starts with
the first glide through Learn to Skate USA. Kids build confidence,
strength and joy on the ice. Learn to Skate.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
USA offers programs for skaters of all ages and abilities.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Find a program near you and learn to Skate USA
dot com. Right now, come on, let's play our game.
Had everybody's head about the bad? Okay, go birdie word,
dott birdie word. The birdie word was an Olympic event.
Me and Tater be going for the gold.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
We La, you said, just like Rick Fern. Who alight,
Let's wad our contestants. We got Connor out of Goldsboro,
North Carolina. Good morning, Connor, good morning, good morning, all right,
home with Carl.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
And Shell steakhouse, Oh Morney, Carla Cook, John boyd Billy
grilling sauce. Yeah, best little steakhouse in state voted and
Old Meat magazine all color glad here a magazine. Let's
say hate the emal from Sumter, South Carolina. Good morning,
a meal, good morning, way, good morning, all right, Well boys.
(23:56):
Let me see. It'll be me and Connor and Tater
and the meal. Okay, yes, and guys, we're gonna deal
with winter. Words all right, words to do with winter?
I thought I had to do with winning? All right, Meal,
you relax? Me and Connor?
Speaker 13 (24:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Connor you ready, buddy?
Speaker 7 (24:16):
Oh yeah, let's get.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
It all right. Start the clock.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Now.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
You wear these they call them ugly at Christmas times,
like a over your shirt. What do you wear over
your shirt?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
A wool?
Speaker 1 (24:29):
It's made of wool? Yes, oh, I just said, sheets
are made of this. You cut this off sheep and
make it something. What do you cut off sheep? You
you make some off this that you cut off sheep? Connor? Yes?
Whoa Okay, Santa has twelve of these pulling his slaves reindeer.
(24:53):
All right, well wool. Connor's hung us up there, and
Connor figured out what comes off of sheep. I'm just
looking there. Three on the board, A good deal, Connor.
Three on the board. Tater, an email for your round?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
One?
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Wow? Ready?
Speaker 5 (25:09):
No, all right, Your your truck might have this blank
blank blank. You put it into this gear. You don't
ride around in this all the time. Only when you're
like going through like dirt and stuff. Yeah, what kind
of drive?
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Blank?
Speaker 4 (25:23):
You have four?
Speaker 6 (25:24):
Four will drive?
Speaker 11 (25:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
The opposite, the opposite of the air conditioning is putting
on your what you need to put on the yep.
Speaker 6 (25:33):
This is this.
Speaker 12 (25:34):
These these drop out of trees and there there spiky.
I hate y'all because yeah, and everybody's they're all laughing
at me in here.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Well, anybody's game. It's three to two after round one?
All right, squeaked out too, They're all right, well let's
say what me and Connor can do here for round two? Ready, Connor?
(26:07):
Oh right, oh right, Connor, let's see what we can
do here, buddy, wear pick it up on that last one. Okay,
start the clock. Now you see these on the ground
under this kind of tree, and yes, all right, this
is what the kind of No, oh, it's not uh,
(26:30):
it's what you sleep under in the winter. It's like,
you know, it's like, I've never heard of these. It's like, no,
it's it's like a shirt that lesbians wear. It's black
and it's black and white red. It's thick. It's a
thick shirt.
Speaker 6 (26:48):
What are we doing?
Speaker 1 (26:50):
I'm you're trying to get you to say the first one.
I never heard of those, but a right, what we got? Okay,
we got a wand on come now tell you I'm
trying man, look as a four on the board. All right,
Tainer and Meal can get two and tie three will win?
Picking up on that last one, go all right.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Lumberjacks wear these kind of shirts panel and these are
what you put on your bed.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
You make your bed sheet. So there you are.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
This is how you when you wake up in the
morning and you can't see out your windshield.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
You need one of these.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Well you need it, you hold it and yes, oh
this guy blank blank nipping at your nose, Jack cross.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Jack frost for the wind.
Speaker 13 (27:40):
So I guess y'all have heard of flannel sheets. You're
missing out, sir. They're so warm, don't don't.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Lesbians wear a lot of flannel? Yeah, yes, yeah, the
flannel sheets is you're too hot, nature.
Speaker 6 (27:59):
Warm?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
All right with doll gone at Connor. We didn't do
so well. Let's get another shot down a lot get
there around in it. I'll try to uh color, have
a great day. Email down Sumter. You get your big
old blue em you prize back for you victory, mangratulations.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
The first time get through it, all right, boy, I.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Have a set of wool final sheets on the radio.
You see what I put up with? You little taste
on the air, y'all? Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 5 (28:41):
Uh No?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Move to the wire requested bit of the morning. Let's
see John Morgan a k A. Captain Morgan says, what
was Liplea's cousin's name, the one where his tongue was
connected to the roof of his mouth? Man, I love
that one. Hey, I'll be okay, John, got your requests
coming up next?
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Good morning make shows on the radio, Oh, John, Captain Morgan, Yes,
his requests right now?
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (29:40):
How you.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Leonard Well? And tonight Leonard Well? And you're Lipless's cousin. Yeah,
I reckon. I gotta let climb to it, all right?
So how you doing this more?
Speaker 13 (29:53):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:53):
He did you get some breakfast? So you're still eating?
Speaker 6 (30:02):
Now? I always hound like you, Okay, I'm almight afflicted.
You know I was born with a chip on my
tongue attached to the roof of my mile. Wow, I've
never heard of that before. Oh yeah, the whole dang
family got mouth prawl his lip. Don't touch Uncle Claud
got to jaw looked like a pair of dispenser America
(30:26):
bulldog Because of Emmeline got the lizard tongue like old
jeans shimmer, he's steely ice cream off your cone if
you don't watch. And my brother Bart, he got two
rolls of teeth top and bottom. I get shark in jaw.
(30:47):
That makes for one dang ugly family.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
So the tim of your tongue attached to the roof
of your mouth up, Yes, that sounds kind of awful.
Oh hell, but it sounds like something that would be
easy enough to have fixed.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
Well, you know, I thought about it. You know, I
wrote the letters from the VA hospital. I ain't sent
it yet.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
No, why not? Can't let that that?
Speaker 6 (31:14):
Come on?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Have you seen the doctor at all?
Speaker 5 (31:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (31:20):
I went once, had to cut the visit short.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
You know how come well when he told me to.
Speaker 6 (31:27):
Stick out my tongue and say, oh, I figured that
he's making spoil of them.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Isn't it uncomfortable?
Speaker 6 (31:33):
No?
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Not really? You know the stuff I can't do. Of course,
it's kind of hard on the grand kids, you know, Well,
how was it hard on the grandkids?
Speaker 6 (31:43):
Well, you know, youngins are plum crazy about them fart noise.
I can't do lad I showed you.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Look see what I mean. You can't do it right
right after the tongue in there show that's a pretty
pitiful all. Yeah, they're kindly put out by to that
must break your heart. Oh hell, I'm on if nothing else,
he kind of kind of sounds like it's be inconvenient
Yoh yeah, it's a burden on a fella.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
There's lots of stuff you can't do, you know, like
you can't stick your tongue out of folks. You gotta
just rely on flipping them the birds. I ain't never
had an ice cream cone I can remember. Kind of
put your car bosh on a fella's love life too,
you know. I guess after all, you can't get the
(32:33):
lady's listen. You can whistle at them, say what she means.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
So if you're not making time with the ladies, you
must be kind of low. Oh hell, im truth be told.
Speaker 6 (32:45):
I've been married about thirty years.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Really, what's your wife like? Everything?
Speaker 6 (32:51):
But me far I can tell.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I'm sure she she loves you.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
You know what she can give me for christ this year?
Speaker 6 (33:00):
I can't imagine a book of daggum tongue questions like lit,
I says, what are you taking boat?
Speaker 1 (33:08):
That wasn't very nice? Did it hurt your feeling?
Speaker 5 (33:10):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (33:11):
Hell, I'm well listen, I got to go out there.
I don't think I got the food bugger coming on.
The old lady wants to take me home and take
my temperature and says.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I can't hold that.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
Your mama is running my tongue.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
You getting the picture, poor god? Oh hell.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Not.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Get a cup of coffee on the way out. Good morning,
(34:01):
Big Shows on the radio. You like this for your
John Boy Mille holiday album? Key word grump We needed
the big box at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Welcome to Johnboy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode How the
Grump Stole Christmas. All the cast of the Big Show
liked Christmas a lot, but the Grump, their curmudgeon at large,
he did not. The Grump had a tube about the
(34:35):
whole Christmas season. Now, please don't ask why. No one
quite knows the reason. Some say his head wasn't screwed
on just right. It could be perhaps that his shoes
were too tight, but the most likely reason that he
wasn't tickled may have been that his liver was totally pickled.
But whatever his liver, his head, or his shoes. He
(34:58):
sat home on Christmas Eve, guzzling booze. He grumbled and
grumped to his long suffering honey.
Speaker 14 (35:06):
Christmas just a big scam to make money, wife, and
I on the seventy two years.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
I've put up with it.
Speaker 14 (35:13):
Now I must stop this Christmas from coming.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
But wow, then he got an idea, an awful idea.
The grump got a wonderful, awful idea.
Speaker 14 (35:26):
I will make a fake Santa Claus outfit with spats,
and I'll go to the mall and harass all the brats.
I'll make sure that every last shopper is dissed. Next
time they see Santa Claus, they'll be pissed.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
His wife said, crazy.
Speaker 14 (35:45):
He said, quit your benching, hush, now, get yourself back
in the cushion.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
So Grumpy Claws wore his disguise that was fake and
waited till Mal Santa went on his break. He went
to the fountain to Mal Santa's castle, three sheets to
the wind and ready to hastle. He invited the kids
to come sit on his throne and said.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Keep your list short, then leave me alone.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Then Grumpy claws started up quite a to do. He
dissed Fervy and Elmo and Pokemon too. Some kids were fooled,
but one kid was quicker.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
Hey, daddy, old Santa smells just like cheap liquor.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
His dad knew the Grump wasn't like Santa's passed.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
He said, you're right, Jeffrey, this and his guess. The
mall cop said, wawser oh sanna his face.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
And quick as a flash, sprayed him down with some mace.
The fake Santa Wobble then dropped into Dreamland. The cops
dragged him out past the gap and ice cream Land.
They got in their jeep and drove to his house
and handed him over to his loving spouse. His wife said,
I'm just glad. They said they won't sue and wait
(37:00):
for him to dry out and come to And what
happened next well, eyewitnesses say that the Grump's liver grew
by three sizes. That did his holiday brainstorm came out
as a bust, and from that Christmas on he held
in his disgust. But the very next Christmas he hatched
a new scheme and he he himself the Grump guzzled
(37:24):
Jim Beam the moral. Most stories like this have all
got one, but in this particular case, well there's not one.
And that is the tale of the Grump who got
soused a Christmas time. John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Tune
in again next time and hear Old Dub holler.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Hey, big Man, Let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Big boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 3 (37:56):
You can shop the Big Bots online right now at
the Big Show dot Com ord a Big Show Step
by phone. The number is eight hundred and four to
seven one. Stuff online services by Anemic dot com.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
You can hear it all the John Bore Milly Late
Risers podcast up next.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free I Heart Radio app.
Speaker 7 (38:18):
Love you Mean It
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Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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