Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This makes Shaw on the radio, John Bop Ben and
Tyler Peers Ran and Jackie and you listening?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hi?
Speaker 3 (00:07):
How you are listening to two of the funniest guys
on the radio and my fraternity brothers at the Raccoon Lodge,
John Boy and Philly on the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
Are they funny? Are they funny? Oh? Hello, caalck a doodle,
(01:01):
dude up and at them. It is Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
It's the last day of January, thirty one days in
this month.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
It's John Boy, Tater.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Jackie Ran Day that went quick.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Bar bar.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Second day in a row in the studios, got uptown,
Welcome back again.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
Tell you I had a head to put it in
the GPS. I'm quite sure how to get here?
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Is a National backward Day.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
There's one of them on stupid days to do something stupid.
Speaker 6 (01:42):
Probably made up by some tiss jockey.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
We've got a lot of them.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Loosen Oh, here goes to this National Hot Chocolate Day,
last day of January. Like that, Just go with the
instant hot chocolate. Use water or milk. Gotta use milk.
Speaker 7 (01:58):
Milk, I agree, or half in half.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I don't know who you why, I'm telling you you
can't hunt.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
Money, extra calories and Randy Coco.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Today is inspire your heart with art day. Do it now?
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Oh, we have time just to sit around, look at
some art. Ooh, some dogs playing poker getting into my mind.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Nice, nice day.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Three days in this a saved up. We get a
first prize, back out and get to win and begin
and wake up. Big shows on a radio. Good morning,
Big shows on a radio. First prize pack Today is
Smith and Wesson. Package includes a hat, backpack and other accessories.
Says eighteen ninety two. Make that eighteen fifty two, Smith
(02:50):
and wesson't been dedicated to empowering Americans. You want to
view the full range of products, visit smithdish Wesson dot com.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Click on the boundary.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
When you Totebig Show dot com. You have three dates
in history where we get our categories. It was eighteen
seventy one a flock of birds so large flew over
the western part of San Francisco it took nearly four
hours for him to pass. At one point, the birds
were clustered in such large numbers they actually darkened the
(03:22):
sky for nearly half an hour.
Speaker 4 (03:25):
Birds doing things. That's a lot of birth of their.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Nineteen fifty eight little Richard quit music at the height
of his fame to attend Evangelism College, where he stayed
for four years, said little Riches.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Somebody did go Richard.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
All right, And finally, this day in nineteen seventy nine,
during what may possibly be the worst comeback attempt ever,
singer Order Wagner attempted to attempted to cash in on
the disco craze. He appeared in a sequin leisure suit
(04:09):
of Nashville's Exit Inn, where he performed disco versions of
his own country song you know we were Dolly Parton
got her star? Did you know that jacket?
Speaker 4 (04:24):
Porter Wagner?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Then something like that kind of fell out. Yeah, Porter,
wasn't that nice to Dolly? I want to move on
controlling And then he want.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
To do disco. She wanted to do rock and roll.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Good lord, don't tell my mama. She loves there's some
Dolly part those.
Speaker 6 (04:44):
The biggest thing she complained about was he dressed her
just really badly.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Oh to make his own outfits.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Look, you know, okay that seeing his outfits, I know
it was the worst way.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Didn't She hire him to be a reader at dolly
Wood for just a little bit of time in there.
Speaker 4 (05:03):
And I don't know about that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
That doesn't sound like Dolly would be that mean No, no,
I mean she she was out actually helping him out.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Yeah, no, she was actually helping him out. And that
you know she bought his catalog in its entirety in
his later years to help.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
You have money.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
She is just one of the sweetest people ever, really
truly is It's awesome?
Speaker 4 (05:25):
All right?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Well, think about Porter's outfits.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
This category of sequence? Is that good? One?
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Ain't under Big Show? You told free line across America.
We play out birds next good Wednesday morning, The Big
(06:04):
Show is on the radio. Today's feature track from The
Big Show bit Box an American minute with tank Hogarth
craft beer, Chorge for keywords, craft beer. Over ten thousand
tracks choos from just none nonsense each at bit box
at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Here right now when Upburst, Let's play Upburst. It's the
game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
John Boy and Billy gave the prizes from the Big
Prize Beer. Let's go.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
He contested number one. This should really be a lot
of fun. Win your playing Upburst.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Have a hurry up and guest, time you love the
best time you love A big shots say, Hey, the
rush from Micah scares South Carolina.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
And more than Russ.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Good morning, Hey, what sounds like you ready to go, bud,
Let's get you.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Do to three cats?
Speaker 8 (07:19):
I am ready.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Alright, Smith and Wesson prize bag, waiting on you to
get through.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Here we go five.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Five seconds. Give us three kinds of birds birds ready go.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
You go blue Jay?
Speaker 8 (07:36):
Three birds.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
Now, give us three kinds of dance clubs. Ready go.
Speaker 8 (07:48):
Dance club, Yeah, Disco, country, Western and.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Go go go.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
Go clubs popular as well.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Here you go, buddy for the wind in honor of
Porter Wagoner. Three things that have sequins, ready to.
Speaker 8 (08:15):
Go shoes, pocketbook, dress and Joe King's prize football.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
So Ross, Smith and Wesson prize back. Head down to
Lankas before you, buddy.
Speaker 8 (08:33):
That is awesome as a hunting trip with John Boy.
Come with that man.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
You know you close my farm down there. I'd love
to have We'll have you out sometime. Your actual invitation
may vary you Ross, Jackie's gonna get your dress all right. Hey, Hey,
thank you John Boy, appreciate you, bluddy. Hang on.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
All right, j bout get you up on your news. Parents,
get your kids up telling mister Roubarb's joke time is
coming up.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Boy, I don't get them on good morning. It's a
(09:45):
big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Alright, kids, up with my household listening to the big
Show WSFL Newborn, North Carolina. Dude, I got a good
stick as in North Carolina taking me all the way
to the no last week stuck.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
Yeah, I guess here go, lister Roobarb.
Speaker 9 (10:09):
All right, give me the beat. First of all, mister
Rubarb is gonna go down the negative road.
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Oh boy, that happens.
Speaker 9 (10:18):
Bring it back around to the positive side.
Speaker 10 (10:21):
Well, if you're gonna get the pot cooking, you got
to have heat.
Speaker 11 (10:24):
My friends at Dell's Den told me that, right, So
here we go. Why does a bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove
and the fridge.
Speaker 9 (10:37):
That was that little negative road we went out. Now
coming back on the positive when you get home.
Speaker 10 (10:43):
What has four.
Speaker 11 (10:44):
Legs is big, green, fuzzy and if it fell out
of a tree would kill you a pool table. If
there is H two O on the inside of a
fire hydrant, what's on the outside, well, no, K nine pet?
(11:06):
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? What because they have
big fingers. A gorilla pick his nose, Yeah, oh yeah,
what has four legs and goes, eh, what a cow
with no lips?
Speaker 9 (11:26):
I should have saved that for Halloween. On the side
of my bucking head?
Speaker 11 (11:32):
Are you bucking blinding the number seventeen?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
I don't know it.
Speaker 11 (11:40):
I didn't tell it right. A woman walks into a supermarket.
She buys one bar of soap, one toothbrush, one tube
of toothpaste, one loaf of bread, one pint of meal,
one single serving of cereal, one single serving frozen dinner,
one can of soup for one one sixteen ounce can
of Miller lit. The guy to check out looks at
(12:01):
her and says single. Are you Woman smiled and said,
how did you guess? He says, because you're ugly, But
then he wanted to go down a positive road, so
he took her groceries around.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
All right, happy Indy.
Speaker 11 (12:19):
I hope I brought some sort of happiness to your
otherwise drab world this morning. There's nothing you can do
about it now, I think, and I'm not going to
worry about it starting right now.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
This is mister saying, This is mister rubib good Man,
(13:00):
there's a big show on the radio. This porson of
the big broadcus brought you by call Childers use cars.
Speaker 12 (13:08):
HATI folks, are you a mite hard up for a
dollar but still need a plumb reliable vehicle? They come
on down to Childer's Motors, just off of the main
road in Millsburg. Are we got a little bit of
everything on a big tigger field. They ain't preaty to
look at it to get you around the ricken. How
much do you pay for one of these beauties? Well, sir,
(13:30):
some of them big shots out by the highway might
put the squeeze on you for five hundred dollars or
eight hundred dollars, sometimes nearly a thousand dollars. They ought
no better than to treat their customers.
Speaker 6 (13:40):
Out of way.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
Ain't no count.
Speaker 12 (13:42):
But over here to Childer's Motors, we got something they
ain't got. This Kaiser blade.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
Some folks calling a sling blade. I call it in the.
Speaker 12 (13:52):
Kaiser blade kind of sheep like a beniner, sharp on
one side, doll on the other.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
No matter what you call it, it's high car price.
Speaker 12 (14:00):
This is worstest the enemy.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Take it high car process.
Speaker 10 (14:05):
I know what you're thinking.
Speaker 12 (14:07):
What y'all kill high prices for? What y'all kill high
prices for? Well, sir, we kill them for you, the customer.
Have a single car on a lot this summer's around
one hundred dollars each. Try getting that deal out by
the highway there. Our sacred is salvage other dealers. Trash
is arn and you'reine treasure cause in if we can't
(14:30):
fix it, it can't be fixed, no hell. Our service
staff tell you if it's a lost cause, or if
it just ain't gotten the gas in it. If you've
got money to burn, we have state to prove trash
barrels on size, but don't throw it away on the
stead of wheels. Come on down to Childer's Motors. Only
thing crazier than the prices is the staff, and we
(14:52):
got the conviction paper to prove it. Jielder's Motors, that
big du acre field off of the main road in Millsburg.
Get a free you will be happy sunscreen with every purchase,
and make sure to tell them fellers.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Carl said, ye, more than everybody the big shows on
the radio. Still a lot more coming at you.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
Hey, hey listener, my name is man only I ain't
a motivational speaker.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
I am thirty five years old.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I am right divorce and every morning I listen to
Young Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
When I wake up in a van Man river, go
on and laugh and.
Speaker 10 (15:41):
Leave the radio work.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Going ahead.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
That's a big shawn A Radio Taylor Tayman News coming
up in minutes.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Taylor, I got a pre segment for you right here.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
You're welcome my favorite Southern rock band, Jib Mother Mary,
is going to be appearing live at the Bird's Nest
Listening Room and Done, North Carolina this Saturday, February third.
Gets your tickets at birds Nest don dot com as
a beautiful city.
Speaker 13 (16:45):
Of Don d u n n, North Carolina. Will you
Uncle John Boy's mothering my boys?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
You all can keep up with Jib Mother Mary's latest
releases and tour dates on Facebook and Instagram, at Jive
Mother Mary and at Jivemothermary dot com. Stream their latest
release eight tracks on Spotify, Apple Music, or wherever you
get your music.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
These boys and.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Hometown keeping the Southern rock genre alive. You know we
gotta do that, boys, fort I'm musicians there. Check them
out Jivemothermary dot com. Flight date date rests up, you
manit taker Tayment News. In minutes, Big Show rolls on.
Good Morning, Big Shows on the radio.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Coming up.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
We played John Boyd, Jeopardy and Winter Gonna get a
Southern East Variety pack. You heard all the great benefits
of hemp. Well, now's the best time to try. A
Southern Eas Trading company must be twenty one to win.
If you go to Big Show dot com click on
a Southern eastbanner, you can get twenty five percent off.
Just use code JBB at checkout while supplies last. Hang on,
(17:58):
we'll play for it in minutes.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
Right now, it's Tater Tament News. Here's our girl, mar
Tater Moran.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
Wow, he got the jive Monder Mary out of the way.
Let's see what else do we have. Alec Baldwin has
been charged a second time and he faces involuntary manslaughter
charges for that on set shooting death of the movie cinematographer.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Man, does that episody been done? And this is just
coming out?
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Well?
Speaker 5 (18:27):
No, he was charged before the death occurred in October
of twenty twenty one, and so the first one it
was thrown out I believe because they you know, they
said that it was a cold gun, which is a
term for it wasn't loaded. But grand jury in New
Mexico has indicted him and if convicted, he could spend
eighteen months behind bars. The forensic analysis concluded that the
(18:51):
Colt forty five in Baldwin's hand could only have been
fired by a pull of the trigger.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
And that's the de because he said he did not
pull the trigger.
Speaker 5 (19:00):
Come on, man, he said it malfunctioned. So the grand
jury was persuaded to indict him on felony charges of
fourth degree involuntary manslaughter. Didn't know there was such a charge,
but fourth degree in voluntary manslaughter.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So uh.
Speaker 5 (19:15):
He has long denied responsibility for Helena Hutchins's death. The
person response before the prop weapon goes on trial later
this later in February, Uh, for hampering charges and things
like that.
Speaker 6 (19:28):
See, Now that's the person that you know, that's negligence
on her behalf. I mean, I know the whole thing
was an accident, but Alec Baldwin's really getting railroaded on this.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
It was definitely not intentional on his part. Of course,
it wasn't intentional to shoot, right right, I mean, but
but did.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
That's what the script called for yeah, well, they weren't shooting,
but they were rehearsing.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Now, the the Hannah Guterrez Reid, who was the prop handler,
has not been forthcoming despite pressure from prosecutors on how
real bullets got onto the movie settee and no, no, no,
I'm just say there were rumors that it was because
they were such antique guns or you know that that
there's folks on set that you know during the off
(20:15):
time waned fire?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Is that what they were going out? That's what I heard.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
They were going out and firing the weapons because they
were so cool, you know, old weapons like that, and
you could see how a live round could still be
in one of them. But the front managers should jacket
board your hands at the old stupe ballot ball right.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
So the director was wounded and she was we'll find out,
you know, later this month or later in February. What
what the judge and Jerry say. Vince McMahon is out
at WWE that he founded.
Speaker 4 (20:46):
That was a while, So what was the well?
Speaker 14 (20:49):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (20:49):
A lady by the name of Janet Grant filed a
lawsuit alleging that she was sex trafficked trafficed by McMahon
while working at the WWE at the time. She signed
an NDA in exchange for three million dollars, but claims
that Vince McMahon never paid. There are rumors or it's
alleged that he previously paid thirty million in hush money
(21:12):
to WWE employees and wrestlers that he sexually harassed and assaulted.
He's of course denying it, saying that Janets or ms
Grant's lawsuit is full of lies, obscene, made up instances
that never occurred, and is a vindictive distortion of truth. Quote.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
And you know who else needs to be charged. Whoever's
doing his hair.
Speaker 5 (21:36):
Not the hair, it's the mustache disturbing his hole.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
From the neck up. He's looking weird. But if you're
going get this over where, it's gonna be a movie.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:45):
The Hollywood reporter also noted that, you know, gosh, he's
paying out all these hush money. Well, last year he
sold around seven hundred million in his WWE stock.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Well, okay, it's not going to be.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
A many good if he ends up going to jail.
So you know, I couldn't avoid it. Taylor Swift, her,
Taylor Swift. She was there. Everybody saw her. She was
at the football game. You didn't know this though. She
brought a bunch of champagne with her, not knowing what
the turnout was going to be, and she spent seventy
thousand on just champagne. She paid fourteen hundred dollars each
(22:22):
for a specific don perime and she bought five cases
of that and three liter bottles of crystal at about
twenty eight hundred pop. As she ordered ten bottles of that.
So they were going to.
Speaker 7 (22:37):
Party and bathe.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Well, they probably didn't do this champagne shower with hers,
but they pro partied into the night and they would
have had a good you know, we.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
All with you know, a habit if I get to
bring it in the locker room close to my man.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
So we're all worried about, oh my gosh, what is
going on with them? Well, you know her fit. Her
lucky number is thirteen, and she's attended twelve of Travis's
NFL games and the Super Bowl will be thirteen. Let's
see what else she's direct flights from Kansas City to
Las Vegas. Commercial airlines like United American reportedly have jumped
(23:14):
onto the Swift bandwagon. So for the week of the
Super Bowl, they have renamed it Flight nineteen eighty nine
when she was born, and she has now all for that.
All right, I have to explain all this, and next
month her private jet will burn lots and lots of fuel.
She will be in LA for the Grammys, you know,
this weekend, and then she goes back on our airs
(23:35):
tour in Japan, and then she'll be flying back for
the super Bowl. You say, how can she do that? Well,
the super Bowl, Well there's seventeen hours. Japan is seventeen
hours ahead of Las Vegas or Tokyo is, and her
private jet can make that trip in fifteen hours, meaning
that she will depart Tokyo after her Saturday show around midnight,
fly across the international dateline, and arrive in Las Vegas
(23:57):
at least sixteen hours before Super.
Speaker 4 (23:59):
Bowl fifty eight. Is she gonna have time to get
the champagne?
Speaker 5 (24:05):
Well, she should be able to take a long nap
before she has to. But yeah, I like these two kids,
just like pac Man said, And I like them so
and I don't like the fact that you know this
whole AI and the deep fakes. You know that it
wasn't gonna say anything about it, but there's deep fake
nude pictures of her running around the internet. Internet, and yeah,
they're putting a quash on of you know, social media
(24:26):
like Twitter won't let anybody search for it and everything
they're they're really working on. But I don't know how
you can control the deep fakes as this gets crazy crazy.
Speaker 7 (24:34):
I love that they're young and in love, and who
doesn't want to be in love.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
They're rich, big deal. Everybody wants to be here and her.
Speaker 5 (24:42):
Leave them alone and let them kissing hug and go.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
To ball game. That's right, you go, Jagie.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
She can buy a bottle per second when she can
have fourteen dollars. If don perry on, what I would do?
Speaker 4 (24:52):
What I would be to take good? Thank you so much? Maybe?
Speaker 1 (24:56):
All right, well let's get us a winner. Let's play
a John Boyd Jeopardy review. Yesterday's question we found out,
all totaled up, your body produces about seven miles of
this every year.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Air all over your body?
Speaker 1 (25:13):
All right, Today's John Boyd Jeopardy Old knucklehead, bitter, American, arrogant, bastard, moose,
drool are all actual names for these ah politicians.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
What y'all got?
Speaker 1 (25:30):
What ain't known to big shall you toll free line
across America? We played John boyd Jeopardy.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Calls please we have a winner.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Hummed do your Home Day, January thirty first, Today's feature
track from The Big Show. Bid Box An American Minute
with Tank Hogarth, Kraft Beer. Search for keywords craft beer
over ten thousand tracks, jews from nine nonsense. Check it
out when you visit The Big Show dot com. There
right now, let's.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
Play ye live across America.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
It's John Bully Jeopardy. And now a man who, in all.
Speaker 15 (26:36):
Honesty has just about had a buttload of some of
you people. And yes, I'm looking at you, arrogant bastard,
he John Dooyd Hog you go less.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
I hated Joe out of Bristol, Virginia. Good morning, Joe,
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Hey buddy, you got the first shot at John Boy
Jeopardy this morning. All right, here we go. Knucklehead, bitter American,
arrogant bastard, and moose drool are all actual names for
these beer drinks.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
You say, did you say beer drinks?
Speaker 3 (27:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Beer drink beer?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Okay, beer, all right, let's see yeah, alright, Joe, beers
can let you try one. Got monk in the trunk,
dead frog, al old tongue buckler. No, all right, I'll
(27:41):
get you. I'll give you the Southern East for Arriety
pack because you just won. Joe gratulations, buddy.
Speaker 8 (27:48):
Thank you, bottom of the hour, top of your news.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Got right on the other side. Not time capsule, but
it's January thirty first.
Speaker 14 (28:04):
All right, this is the award winning John Boy and
(28:38):
Billy Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 10 (28:51):
Liberty flu I'm old and I hate poky Mano.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
In my day, we didn't have no time wasting brain
rotten fantasy chasing moron fascinating, nerd arousing, loser.
Speaker 10 (29:09):
Delighting, technological third squirt nonsense.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
If we had a mind to wander around capturing ugly
little misshapen deformed freaks with stupid names, we didn't need
a celliphone.
Speaker 10 (29:23):
We did it the easy way. We went to a
family reunion.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Oh, it's finally here. The glorious age of stupidity is
upon us. Instead of creating important stuff like flying cars
and women who don't talk, these geniuses had to use
their college educated brains to.
Speaker 10 (29:47):
Make Pokemon go. They should have made workymn go.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
Where those fat, pasty faced losers finally crawled out of
their parents' root seller to walk around, look at a
damn job, and ward off type two diabetes at the
same time.
Speaker 10 (30:07):
I'm looking for peak at you. You should look in
the mirror and take a peek at you, being a
worthless second crack. Can you believe it?
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Grown men risking life and limb to go hunting critters
that you can't.
Speaker 10 (30:22):
Even eat once you catch them.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Huge herds of morons trampling each other to catch a
fat yellow monkey cat on that damn phone.
Speaker 10 (30:33):
Whish they put the most important Pokemon someplace where it
would do some good.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Like about ten feet off of the edge of a
cliff Pokemon Go Bah, more like Pokemon Go screw yourself.
In my day, the only Pokemon you got was when
your cell mate was a Jamaican guy. We used to
(31:00):
play real games that didn't cost us nothing but our
human dignity, games like.
Speaker 10 (31:06):
What's your mom Way? And Swallow the Road.
Speaker 4 (31:13):
Apple.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Booker, Stacking and fotting in the oatmeal, and is your
sister fourteen yet? But no game was more popular and
more dangerous than Paint your Ass Red and Moon the Bull.
It all started one day when Rusty Pus Muttons set
in a red paint while he was painting the bond.
(31:36):
Why he was doing it naked is still a mystery,
but there he was, buck naked with a big red
hind ind. He was walking down to the swimming hole
to wash it off when Old Percy the Bull seed him.
Percy was half crazy with cow siphless, and it didn't
help that one of his horns had curled around and
(31:56):
slowly grown into the side of his head and threw
his brain. And when he saw Rusty's red butt, he
popped a spring. Rusty was pretty agile and managed to
keep from getting skewed. But before long we were all
doing it. But we were slow and stupid because we'd
been in bread for generations.
Speaker 10 (32:16):
And Percy gord us and stacked us.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
Like cordwood, stringing our guts like hillbilly bungee cords, and
kicking our empty stupid grin and skulls around the field
like a cousin loving soccer ball.
Speaker 10 (32:27):
Whoopedi ding dang doodle poodle.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Look at me, I'm an ignorant hillbilly taught in a
mentally challenged bull with vedie to use my butt for
target practice, slinging us around by our guts like a
Filipino yo yo master. Whoopee, I'm a human shish Kebob
all hailed Charles Darwin.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
And we liked it.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
We loved it.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
The closest thing we had the pokey man was when
crazy old brewster mctinn we caught a leprechaun copping a
squat behind old Lady Friedaman's bond. The little fella's name
was Finnegan. Oh, shut your hold, and he was a pistol.
Oh Tinny let him around on a leash looking for
his pot of gold. We all told him he was
(33:18):
full of the hooy, that it was just a knobby
little munchkin with Lucille Ball's hand, but he swore to
all that was holy that it was a leprechaun, And
sure enough, two days later that little guma took him
straight to that pot of gold. And once Titty had
the gold, he didn't need Finnegan no more and turned
him loose. But it seemed Finnegan wasn't too keen about
(33:39):
giving his golden nest egg to some half within hay seed,
and took after him with a shelley Tinny picked up
an axe and cleaveed that little redheaded maniac, cleaning too,
but those two halves turned into two leprechauns. Tinty kept chopping,
and the leprechauns kept him multiplying. Titty was out numbered,
and for four long they tore him to pieces, totally
(34:02):
totally toulin as they did it, fearing retribution for their massacre,
three hundred bloodthirsty leprechauns roared the countryside, rendering us all
limb from limb, feasting on our entrails and our bloodlines.
When extinct, and all that was left of us to
be remembered were tightly coiled piles of leprechaun duty. Yahoo, Wow,
(34:24):
you hoo, howdy, look at me. I'm a gold crazy
leprechaun murder and knit wit, setting up everyone to be
a sord off cannibal buffet going to my eternal reward
through the colon of a mythological midget laid to rest
next to a pile of poodle poop. Glory, Hallelujah, What
a wonderful world. A buffalo flopping I hate POKEMONO.
Speaker 8 (34:50):
John Boy and Dilly, All right, can you give a
shout out?
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Yes, sir, Hey up, buddy, that's my favorite of all time.
Good morning radio, dumb right, good morning. That's a big
(35:31):
show on the radio. Tickle to you with us this morning.
He's had some time off and he promised me he's
been working hard on new material. So please welcome America's
lovable loser. Joke nerd. What's up, lady thing jerk?
Speaker 10 (35:47):
Wait?
Speaker 5 (35:47):
What what?
Speaker 7 (35:50):
America's lovable loser?
Speaker 10 (35:51):
What the hell?
Speaker 5 (35:52):
Brother?
Speaker 1 (35:52):
If I'm trying to help you by giving you a nickname,
you know, like they call Don Rickles mister warmth, and
they call George Goebel lonesome George.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
Well, this is perfect for you.
Speaker 10 (36:05):
I think it's stinks.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
I love We'll try this one here.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
He is, folks, America's unlikable idiot, joke nerd, lovable Luther.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
It is.
Speaker 16 (36:18):
Hey, folks, I'm gonna go ahead and get started. What
do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato? Off
to a good start.
Speaker 10 (36:30):
Here's a good one.
Speaker 16 (36:31):
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom
because the pea is silent?
Speaker 10 (36:37):
God, you're laughing. You don't know why.
Speaker 16 (36:41):
You're laughing, because you think you should you don't know
the pterodactyl starts with pea like the terodactic put teraradigm.
Speaker 4 (36:47):
I'm saying that one sure he has.
Speaker 16 (36:50):
Hey, a friend of mine asked me where my sister
went hunting. I said Alaska. He said, never mind Alaska myself.
What are the fishermen's to the magician?
Speaker 10 (37:01):
Pick a cod? Any cod?
Speaker 7 (37:03):
See tater CON's a fish?
Speaker 4 (37:05):
God figure God.
Speaker 7 (37:10):
Once you save that for a little closer to the
end of the show.
Speaker 10 (37:14):
Hey, what do you call a spider with ten eyes?
By yah yea, yea, y.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Oh eyes.
Speaker 10 (37:24):
You don't have to explain it to me, right, Hey,
here's one. My friend said, what starts with F and
ends with K?
Speaker 7 (37:31):
I said, no, it doesn't what.
Speaker 4 (37:36):
There's a word jokes like.
Speaker 16 (37:39):
This is why she's so good at wordy words. You
know what, I sympathize with batteries. I'm not included in
anything either. You're with the words.
Speaker 7 (37:53):
I got a buddy that has twin daughters. One is
named Kate, the other is duplicate.
Speaker 16 (37:58):
Now you're just laughing to be polutching big, he'll billy jackass.
Speaker 7 (38:07):
Some people pick their nose. I was born with mine.
Speaker 16 (38:13):
AnyWho, I got a birthday card last week, and when
I opened it up, rice fell out.
Speaker 7 (38:19):
It was from Uncle Ben.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
That's what I was looking at for.
Speaker 16 (38:25):
That goes in the save file. Hey, why was the
pig covered in ink? Because it lived in a pan?
I felt that all the way over here, Miss Covid.
Did you know ten plus ten and eleven plus eleven
are the same thing. Ten plus ten is twenty and
eleven plus eleven is twenty two.
Speaker 4 (38:49):
Right, the dumb one got it.
Speaker 16 (38:53):
Hey, some punk broke into my house and stole all
my fruit. I'm peachless. My wife sent me stay awake, Randy.
It gets better. My wife sent me to the store
to get six cans of sprite. When I got home,
I realized i'd picked seven up. I will whip your ass. Hey,
(39:18):
you're American when you go in the bathroom. You're American
when you come out. But what are you when you're
in there?
Speaker 7 (39:24):
Your opinion.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
So this? Well, I told everybody you were working hard,
But it seems like you're hardly working.
Speaker 10 (39:38):
What you talking about, John Boy?
Speaker 4 (39:40):
I could have sworn I heard all these jokes on
the internet.
Speaker 16 (39:43):
Well, now I know you're lying. The closest you get
to the computers when you're walking past me.
Speaker 4 (39:47):
All right, Randy heard them all on the internet. Damn right.
Speaker 16 (39:51):
Oh well, i'd have brought some cheese with me if
I know there's gonna be a rat here.
Speaker 10 (39:56):
Squeak, squeak, Randy.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
Nobody likes a plagiarizer.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (40:02):
Eighty one million people supposedly voted for one.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
There's always next time.
Speaker 7 (40:07):
There's the next time.
Speaker 4 (40:08):
Not always, but you said, ladies.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
And gentlemen, this has been aser a nerd lovable loser joke.
Speaker 10 (40:14):
Nerd America's lovable loser. Okay, I'll see myself out.
Speaker 7 (40:17):
I'm gonna have a word with you in the hall.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
Tailor still another pass bag for you lessen thirty minutes
from right now.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
It's a big jello letting somebody better dammit than me,
tell you than me?
Speaker 15 (40:34):
All right?
Speaker 7 (40:36):
Timebody be the big show, that stuff picking me up?
Speaker 5 (40:38):
You?
Speaker 10 (40:39):
Whoa, it's you, Marcel?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
What am I doing well? When I'm not hanging up
on right thing? Fat boying trying to cure Bebs of
her terminal blondness. I'm listening to my toothpavored straight white
Southern points, John Boynt Billy and the Big Show, Oh Marcel,
just stop.
Speaker 10 (40:55):
No, I won't tell Randy you said, hello.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Good morning, I got to make showing the radio and
got pooky poos from your novel dot com Janty.
Speaker 4 (41:35):
Just send a couple of minutes. It will all become
way too clear. Have y'all heard this deal? Randy was
telling me about it.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
They got this deal, Like if you they pop up
it says it pop up true to life headlines when
people google their birthdate and the words Florida man. Yep,
because you know, always talking about Florida, always doing some
crazy stuff.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
Yep. So he like, google your birthday. Just don'na do
a few for you here.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
So. November the nineteenth, Florida man woman arrested for practicing
dentistry without a license on a bus.
Speaker 4 (42:12):
Wow, that's a lot of layers.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
July the eighth, video Florida man crash lands onto roof
of car and then walks away. June twenty sixth, Florida
man accused in Flamingo's death fatally struck by pickup truck
made the ninth. Florida man gets life or slaying he
(42:38):
blamed on sleepwalking. December twenty fourth, Florida man who wanted
to time travel crashes car through a strip mall.
Speaker 4 (42:46):
Jeez, you gotta get up.
Speaker 5 (42:48):
If you wash back to the future, you gotta get
that Glorian At the eighty.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Eighth February the eighth, Florida man charged with assault with
a deadly weapon after throwing alligation through Wendy's drive through
windows only Florida, Florida Man, where's f the police shirt
to court wins case.
Speaker 4 (43:13):
You're born on October sixth? You got that one.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
September fourteenth, Florida man missing since nineteen ninety seven found
at the bottom of a pond thanks to Google Earth.
What one more for this first page, Florida man impersonating
a police officer is arrested after pulling over a real
cop and warning him to slow down.
Speaker 4 (43:36):
I have seen that video. It is hilarious.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Right Part two The Adventures of Florida Man. In about
an hour, the Big Show roams on