Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This just in It's the Jubal Show.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Doctors say that two to three kiwi's a day can
effectively treat constipation. Wait, in a related story, doctors are idiots.
I put three up there yesterday and nothing has happened.
Oh no, no. See how easy it is to create
fake news? I don't know really why. Every single week
we bring you the cleverly named segment real News or
Fake News, where I read a news story that's gone
(00:24):
viral this week and you have to tell me if
it's a fake one.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Or a real news story.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
It is a lot harder than you think, and it's
always fun, and we'll do real news or fake news
right after this freaking news right here on the Jewel Show.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
You heard it here first.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
US circumcision rates continue to drop, more proof that Americans
don't like tipping. It's the Jewble Show and it's time
for real news or fake news, the segment where we
bring you a news story from the week that's gone
viral and you have to tell me if it's a
real news story or a fake news story that people
actually leaved. Do it right now and test your skills
(01:03):
at spotting fake news. Here's your first headline for real
news or fake news. AI detective's arrest team for chip
bag weapon in beta trial testing. It's AI detective arrest
team for chip bag weapon in beta trial testing.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Here's the details of the story. This is out of London.
In what's being called a wake up call for humanity,
a new AI powered detective system in the UK has
made international headlines after its first prosecution. A seventeen year
old was arrested under suspicion of carrying a weapon and
when the weapon was recovered it would turn out to
(01:40):
be sorry when the weapon turned out to be a
crumpled bag of cool ranch Brito's.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
The arrest took place last Thursday in a suburban town
outside of Manchester in the UK's New where the UK's
newly launched Apex Sentinel AI Detective Service or ASSADS, is
undergoing beta testing. The teenager, who his name is being
withheld due to law, sat on a bench eating a
(02:08):
bag of Dorito's when the Apex Sentinel AI Detective Service
unit flagged the bag as a metal like object with
hostile configuration, and the robot has the ability to apprehend
and take people into custody. It promptly arrested the boy
and transported him to the police station, where he was
then booked and put into a holding cell until human
(02:28):
officers checked data and camera footage and saw that the
boy was arrested for.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Just eating a bag of chips.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Wow, apparently this machine has also arrested a juggling street
performer for wielding a weapon and a nursing mother for
indecent exposure. Oh, it has been decommissioned while they quote
work out the kinks quote is this a real new
story or a fake news story?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I feel like I have to go with fake.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I can't imagine like a terminator type object walking around
arresting like breastfeeding mom.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I just can't. I have to go with You need
to say fake, Victoria, you think it's real, real or fake?
I want to say real.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
But also I think it's fake because you could easily
just throw a glass of water on that guy and
there he goes malfunctioning. This is a real news story
to show you how bad it is getting with AI.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Now are you serious?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
So day now you can just get arrested for standing
and eating a back of chips.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Luckily it's We've been decommissioned until I work out the
kinks whatever. They're sorry, Yeah, exactly, that's terrifying. Here's another
headline for Real News or Fake News? A segment where
I give you a new story that's gone viral this week,
and I have to tell me if it's a real
news story or a fake one that people actually believed.
Here is another headline, Flora man busted for illegal male
(03:41):
enlargement clinic inside of his nineteen ninety four Toyota Camra.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Wow, real just because to Florida.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah, I mean, once you're in Florida, you can already
kind of assume that it might be real.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
But this story is insane.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Here's the details in one of the more absurd episodes
of What Were You Thinking? And Detectives have arrested thirty
eight year old Orlando Doc Ramirez for allegedly performing illegal
PP enhancements.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Are you related to this? Victoria?
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Victoria's last name is Ramirez allegedly performing illegal PP enhancements
in the back of his green nineteen ninety four Toyota
Camri parked outside of a South Miami strip mall.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Police say sorry.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Police say Ramirez advertised his quick book suite on Instagram
under the handle at Camri clinic and then numbers after it.
Battery cables became clamps and a ring light doubled as
a surgical lamp, and the heating events served as makeshift
autoclave trays, it said an investigator in the case. This person, Ramirez,
(04:46):
allegedly charged clients between two hundred and eight hundred dollars
depending on add ons I mean what.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
He admitted to learning the.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Procedures from YouTube tutorials and parking his camera outside of
strip malls for last minute consultations. Florida Health Department spokesperson
said that we've seen unlicensed services before, but this one
is uniquely ridiculous. And the crazy part of the story
is all of the procedures that he did in his
Toyota Camry eighteen total were successes, and the people said
(05:13):
they would go back to him in a heartbeat because
he did such a good job. No, you can learn
a lot on YouTube, you really can. Okay, So is
this a real news story or a fake news story?
Florida man busted for illegal mail enlargement clinic inside of
his Toyota Camra.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
I'm really leaning towards fake because if something happens, can't
you bleed out from that part of the body and
like be done?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Skis Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Sure this camera would all be all messed up. I
know that just doesn't feel right. Why would you allow
somebody to know?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
It's shocking that eighteen people, it says, eighteen people trusted
this guy that says he's a doctor in his nineteen
ninety four Toyota Camra to do a procedure on them. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I think that Victoria, it's real or fair? I think
it's real. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (05:52):
It's it Florida man in the back of his camray
absolutely real.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And our healthcare system in this country is so bad.
I'd be like, hey, man, you're in a nineteen ninety
four Tota camera. You're pretty sure you're not a doctor,
But can you give me in this week at least
I'm to wait like a month.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yet you have that this is a real news story. Yeah, lord, the.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Man busted for I llegal male largement clinic inside of
his nineteen ninety four Toyota camera.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I have to see one. I need to know what
that looks like. Being is busted while he is like
mid procedure.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Just let me finish this up, and the person who's
doing it on is like, please let him finish. Here's
another headline for real news or fake news. The segment
where I bring you read a news headline from the
week that has gone viral. You have to tell me
if it's a real one or a fake one that
people actually believed. Her next headline is a French police
make arrest in Louver museum heist, but can't understand confessions. Oh,
(06:49):
French police make arrests in Louver museum height but a
museum heist, but can't understand the confessions.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Here is the news story.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
After an estimated one hundred million dollars worth of jewels
were stolen at the Louver in Paris. The museum director
was some to ap pairfore French lawmakers amid the going
investigation and manhunt, and they actually have arrested three people
that they believe are the culprits who stole the jewels
from the Louver. Unfortunately, the story says they arrested three
(07:19):
mimes who still had the jewels on them and when questioned,
the mimes won't give any details because well they're mimes.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Is that a real new story or a fake new story,
fake I thought. I just read that.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
They melted it down already.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
One hundred percent fake.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
But the sad part is there are some people that
actually believed it because it went viral and so they
were sharing. The mimes got busted for the museum Ice,
I believe that people believe that.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Yeah, I believe