All Episodes

June 9, 2025 5 mins

From snakes escaping in restaurants to faking British accents and pretending to be a pilot, people are sharing their wildest first date fails—moments where they tried a little too hard to impress and it all went sideways. One listener even dove into a pond to save what turned out to be fake ducklings. Another got caught mid-bite into a bacon cheeseburger while claiming to be vegan. This trending moment is all about the chaos, the comedy, and the cringe of first impressions gone wrong.

 



You can find every podcast we have, including the full show every weekday right here…

➡︎ https://thejubalshow.com/podcasts


The Jubal Show is everywhere, and also these places:

Support the show: https://the-jubal-show.beehiiv.com/subscribe

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I went out with a guy once on a first
date who brought a snake to dinner to seem cool.
It escaped and they had to evacuate the restaurant. What
snake got loose? And then chaos broke out and he
got banned and he ghosted me. That's the text message
we just got in at four one o six one,
because the trend is going viral of people sharing the

(00:21):
things they did to try to impress somebody on a
first date, but it went sideways.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
We're not going to live there for a second. The
guy brought a whole snake on a.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Date, Text in with yours or calls up eight eight
eight three four three one o six one if you've
ever tried to impress somebody on a first date and
then it went horribly wrong. Another person said that a
guy faked a British accent the whole date, trying to
impress them at work. Yeah, it does, until he said
y'all and then ran out of the restaurant. He embarrassed

(00:57):
said he pretended to have a British accent to see
more our exotic and charming. Midway through dinner, he slipped
up and said y'all and then she called him out,
and he panicked and ran out of the restaurant.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
I mean, when you're caught, you're caught. What's the point
in continuing with the date?

Speaker 4 (01:10):
Well, what was the plan there? You were just going
to have a British accent forever and always, or just
as long as you needed to. I guess, but I
have a feeling that a lot of guys do this.
You don't think past the first day. You're right, I've
done a Boston accent on a date before.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
But in fact, still even when we travel for work,
you guys don't ever see it. But I do Boston
accents at like the front desk and stuff my Boston.
I okay, oh gosh, it sounds a little bit like
Peter Griffin.

Speaker 5 (01:40):
I gotta put the oil in the cat. Okay, so hey,
good morning.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
I was wondering, Uh, do you know where where I
can find the vending machine?

Speaker 1 (01:49):
And that's the accent you chose for our first date? Yes,
like British. I guess makes no sense at all. How
did it work? Did it work?

Speaker 5 (01:59):
Always? Look at me? Sorry?

Speaker 2 (02:00):
I'm like, I just had to pocked the car. Excuse me?
What did you say?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
Somebody else said that somebody tried to impress them on
a first date by paying for the date with monopoly
money because they thought it would be funny, and then
the waiter got security.

Speaker 5 (02:19):
I guess that's just that's the waiter's fault.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
Right, It is kind of funny, just like follow up
with real money, real quick, you know.

Speaker 5 (02:27):
Yeah, it would be funny.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
Look how rich I am since the guys are all
trying to do that to impress women on a first date. Yeah, yeah,
text in four one o six one, calls up eighty
eight three four three one six one. What's something you
did on a first date to try to impress somebody
but it went sideways. Somebody else said that she preted
to be fluent in Italian at an Italian restaurant and
then the waiter started speaking Italian back to her fluently.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
These people don't think things through.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Well.

Speaker 5 (02:53):
That sounds like when you're a kid and you try
to make up a language.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
You're like, yeah, You're like, yeah, don't you know I
can speak such and such friend, and they're like, no,
that's not at all what that is.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
She said that she just said bellissimo ten times, and
then she had to admit that she just googled some
phrases to try to impress the person.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
She was out.

Speaker 5 (03:12):
I hadn't.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
I had a date in college and I had told
her I was a pilot. I was not yet a pilot,
and so I said, yeah, I'm a pilot. She's like,
oh my gosh, let's go see where you fly for
our date.

Speaker 5 (03:24):
And I was like, yeah, cool.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
And so I had my flight instructor pull the plane
out and like make it look good and stuff. And
we had we had like a picnic in the plane,
and she's like, where are we going?

Speaker 5 (03:37):
And I was I legally couldn't fly the plane yet.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Yeah, And and so she was she found out and
she was like, so you're not actually a pilot. I
was like, it's pretty common to stretch the truth, right,
I guess like A first, A right, we're both flying cool?

Speaker 5 (03:53):
Right, we had a picnic in a plane.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Right.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
She walked away, like, you expect me to believe you
work Applebee's. We're both lying.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
That's like the guy that told me he was a
firefighter but he stocked vending machines.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
Really, yeah, oh my god, I forgot about that.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
I know someone texted in four to six one and
said they wouldn't. Went on a date with a guy
who dove into a pawn to save ducklings. It turned
out to be decorations.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
Was he hot?

Speaker 5 (04:25):
Have no idea cause you imagine the absolute shame you
would feel.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
I was gonna be so cool. It's gonna be a
hero and save these ducklings.

Speaker 5 (04:34):
Stick.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Also, how do you know the ducklings need to be saved?

Speaker 4 (04:37):
Right?

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (04:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (04:39):
Wait, he jumped into water where ducks go, Yeah, to
save ducklings.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
Which would be hot under normal circumstances. They just lived there.
They're just existed, just chilling in the water.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Though that's supposed to be. He's on the road maybe,
but if he looks at you and goes they're in distressed.
I can tell. I believe that.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Somebody else said that she was pretending to be vegan
for a guy that she went out with and then
got caught eating a bacon cheeseburger when he went.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
To the bathroom. Oh no, no, no, said it was
the ultimate betrayal.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
He came back to find her mid bite and mid
lie and left the date right away.

Speaker 5 (05:20):
Imagine being so not vegan.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
You need to fix a few run the day, Yeah,
like I just have to have a burger.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
I'm not Megian at all, but.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
This guy's hot. Her phone break happens every single hour
on the twenties. Your next was coming up right after this,
and then right after that is Nina's what's trending. And
don't forget you're never more than twenty minutes away from
Lady Gaga tickets, So every twenty minutes your chance to
win tickets to see.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
The Dogs gog listen. She would call and then calls
up
Advertise With Us

Host

Jubal Fresh

Jubal Fresh

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Crime Junkie

Crime Junkie

Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.