Jubal Fresh guarantees today's Sounds Trendy feature is hilarious!

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Did you wil show on demand? Little kids are crackheads.
They'll come to you out of the blue and talk
about the weirdest Like you'd just be walking through the
house and they bust out of a room and they're
just like monkey. You're like, what the They have very
few teeth, they smell funny, and at some point they're

(00:27):
probably gonna ask you for a dollar. To me, that
is a crackhead. Okay, Like that's a sound today for
sounds trendy audio that you can steal from our social
media to use for your social media to make a video.
And there's a lot of stand up clips going around
TikTok and scram reels and stuff like that. So figuring
on why not post that clip for today's sounds trendy
if you want to use that for social media, I

(00:49):
don't know, film your kid doing something that this kind
of crackhead is because that's what kids do. Any age
ready clip made me not want so go grab that
from our social media at the Jebel Show, use it
for our video for your social media, and if we
see it and we like it, we'll re share it
on our social media. And if you think about it,

(01:09):
it's weird that we grow out of that phase as kids.
You know, it's only crack kids who walk around doing
stuff like that now. Because it would be fun just
to be able to still be a kid and go,
you know, to the grocery store and a Batman costume
and talk to everybody like I'm Batman and have them
be like not look at you, like okay, we need
to arrest this guy, you know, or their mood walking
on the sidewalk. Yeah, just thinking about it. Even as
a kid, you can go anybody and be like what's

(01:30):
your name? Now, you go up to a stranger in
a store and like, what's your name? They're like, get
away from me. Yeah, hashtag me too. Hi, I'm Jebel.
What's your name? They're like, no, get out of here.
You're getting arrested. Throat tattoo, You definitely get arrested, that
is true. Do you get profiles a lot because of
my throat tattoos? Up? It's like we have to go

(01:50):
to the airport earlier now because your profiles since you
got in your neck tattoo. You know what that is
really really tattoo. If you don't know what I look like,
I have it. I'm not going to go into all
the details. I have a throw tattoo though, I got
it a little while ago, and it looks like an artichoke,
and it's not an artichoke. And what wasn't supposed to
be arti choke? It was supposed to be a lotus
flower on my throat, and I have a lot of

(02:10):
other tattoos, but when I got the lotus flower, it
turned out looking like an arti choke. It is so
now I just say it's an artichoke and I own
it because why not? Why I'm the only person I
know that's got an artichoke tattooed on his throat. Love artichokes.
They're delicious. They are delicious. And every single time I
go to the grocery store with my wife Alex and
I am married, if he didn't know that she buys
an artichoke that we never eat. She just buys it

(02:32):
to hold it up to my throat. I want a
picture of one, like buy your neck. She has one? Okay, perfect?
We should put this video on the social absolutely, Okay,
So Alex is showing Christian video of us at the
grocery store. It's just a artichoke in front of the
camera walking through the grocery store and then bam, it's
up against my throat tattoo and that's it looks like

(02:55):
an artichoke. It's perfect. Go check that video out on
our social media. Also, go take this sound to use
for your social media for a video today, probably a
video of your kid doing something weird, and if we
see it and we like it, we'll reshare it on
our social media. Here's the clip one more time for
sounds trendy. Little kids are crackheads. They'll come to you

(03:16):
out of the blue and talk about the weirdest Like
You'll just be walking through the house and they bust
out of a room and they're just like monkey, You're like,
what the They have very few teeth, they smell funny,
and at some point they're probably gonna ask you for

(03:38):
a dollar. To me, that is a crackhead of fay
like so cod grab that and check out the video
of the artist chokes out. Oh we were saying, I
do get profiled though ever since I got that, I've
flown a lot in my life. It was when I
got a throatattoo that I started getting pulled over every
single time in line, like they pull my back, he'll

(03:58):
take him out, and he'll get he'll get down, He'll
get his bag checked all the time, every single time. Dude,
I swear to God and I don't have it is.
I don't do anything different. The only thing that I
do different going through air part security now is that
I have a throat tattoo. Everything else, I'm always packed
the same. Iway was taking the same stuff. But every
single time we have to leave a little earlier to
go to the airport now because I guarantee you, my

(04:18):
bag is gonna get pulled. They're gonna go through it
and they're gonna like frisk me and that's fun. But
you know, still you should ask them, like, it's my
throat tattoo, isn't it. Yeah, what is it? The throat tattoo?
I have nothing in my bag, yep, just mushrooms and
my wife's weed. I mean, sometimes there's some stuff in
my bag, but yeah, it is interesting to see how
your life changes when you get a throat tattoo. Anybody

(04:39):
who doesn't have a throat tattoo that's listen to this,
which means it's probably the majority of the people listen
to the show get a throat tattoo, and things will
change for you drastically. Report back. Yeah, I would say
doors open for you, but they don't. They shut and
they lock because we were scared of you. Now the
Science Fair projects that I want for kids life before
and after I go graund the audio at the we'll

(05:00):
show follow all of us individually. I'm a Jewel Fresh
and that dre is. I'm a Christian Chrisnow and your
phone prank happens every single hour on the twenties. Your
next one is coming up in just a few minutes.
It's a Jewel show, the Jewbil Show on demand. It's
another Jewbil phone Brankday Mornings on its twenties. Thank you

(05:21):
for calling Starbucks. This is Callie. How can I help
you today? Hi Kelly. My name is Dad and I'd
like to speak to the manager. Actually, I am the
manager on duty today. What can I do for you? Oh?
You're the manager on duty today. I should say this,
you're the cow killer on duty today. Huh. I'm sorry

(05:43):
what I said? Hello cow killer. I'm I don't know
what you were talking about. Okay, I have nothing to
do with killing cow. Okay, you have everything to do
with it. Did you mean to call Starbucks because I'm
I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. Yes,

(06:05):
I absolutely did mean to call Starbucks, and I meant
to talk to a cow killer today. My name is Sad,
and I'm not sure if you're aware, but PETA, People
for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has been protesting your
locations all across the country because you won't lower the
prices on your vegan options of milk. I'm calling to
let you know that in three days, unless you lower

(06:26):
the prices, we will descend on your location with a
protest that will rock your world. I'm sad, okay, I'm
talking from you. I do not appreciate that is fantastic.
I do not appreciate you insulting me or my staff
that it's not appropriate. There was no reason for you
to call us, and there's no reason for you to
threaten us. I'd appreciate you have any control over what

(06:48):
you do, and if you want to come in here
and super blue your hands to our cases, that's not
going to get anything done from your end. So again,
if you would like me to give you the corporate number,
I can do that. You understand that those cows that
you're murdering have lives and heartbeats and souls, and that
you you understand that when you get milk from a cow,

(07:09):
you don't have to kill it first. I mean, do
you have a basic understanding of biology? Your immaturity. It
is absolutely off base and I'm not going to sit
here and put up with it. And if you do
not hang up the phone now, I will trace your
call and I will get the police to come and
come after you. This is absolutely unfair. This is harassment. Harassment, okay,
like those innocent cows who are walking around a field

(07:30):
and then somebody rips on the cows. You have absolutely
no understanding of what happens off selling alternative milks does
not have any influence over like Giant Bloated Dairy and
Country and what they're doing. You cannot be calling me.
I've never even spoken to a customer like this. You
are being so incredibly irrational. I had to go to

(07:51):
the back room because you are absolutely pushing my last
nerve and I do not need someone who has absolutely
no understanding of how the world works and me and
my stack. Okay, anything that I have to say, because
they have absolutely no understanding of the world. Okay, I'll
have you know that I upped the auntie on that

(08:11):
whole superglue yourself to the counter thing that somebody actually
did at a location, and I have superglued myself to
this phone that I'm on, So good luck hanging up
on me. What? Okay? You? So you you superglued yourself
to your own phone? Wow? You are an idiot. You
don't even understand how phones work. All I have to
do is hang up on this send and not pay
ever again because I've superglued by super glue to your phone.

(08:34):
Oh wait, okay, so yeah, I think that means you
could still hang up and then I'm just be super glued.
Oh that was stupid. Yeah. Wow, that was probably the
stupidest thing that I have ever heard in my life.
So I'm going to be hanging up up. I want
to tell you that your boyfriend is on the phone.
Your boyfriend is on the phone. Your boyfriend is on
the phone. What this isn't actually how do you know

(08:56):
my boyfriend? This is actually Jewel from the Jewil Show
doing a phone prank on you and your boyfriend. Max
set you up. Oh my good No no no, no, no, no, no,
no no, no, you just put me through like torture.

(09:16):
Do you understand? I mean like I like, I started
getting loud, customers started looking at me. I had to
go to the back room. And still this person wouldn't
the Jebel Show on demand. It's time Floor of the
Roses only on the Jewil Show. And you's on the

(09:37):
phone today and she thinks that her husband Marco might
be cheating on her. Before we get into the reason why, Tangy,
first of all, thank you for your email. Sucks you
have to come on the show this way and hopefully
we find out that he's not cheating on you. That's
what we hope for. But if that doesn't happen, I'm sorry,
but it's good to find out no matter what. So
thank you for coming on the show, thank you for
your email, and thank you for being willing to do this.

(09:58):
So before we get into everything, why do you you
think that he's cheating on you? We've been married for
like five years, but I really do think he's cheating
on me, and I just I have to catch him
because he's been getting all these texts on his phone
from from somebody called Tyson, and I have no clue

(10:19):
who type is I've never heard of a Tyson Tyson, okay, Tyson,
and you don't you don't think it's a friend. The
other day I looked over his shoulder and I saw
on the phone. I'm pretty sure I saw kissie emoji
like I'm not, but oh yeah, And people can like
put names in it, like with a different names. Yeah,

(10:41):
people do that. I think people do that a lot,
Like they'll hide a name by using a different name.
So do you think that that's what he's doing, Like
he put a contact on his phone named Tyson In
case you asked what it looks like a dud's texting game.
That's really what I think that I haven't actually asked
him yet because I mean, I don't want to sound
completely crazy. I don't feel like that would make sound
completely crazy. I mean, it's a valid question to ask

(11:02):
if if he's getting text from some number and some
person you've never met or never even heard him talk
about you've been married for five years. I think it's
a valid question. Kissy face text on top of that, Yeah,
that's good. Yeah. So I guess I was a little
bit sneaky and I put the GPS on his card
and I that he's been going to this apartment complex?

(11:26):
Did you say every day? Yeah? Yeah, when is he
going like during his lunch break? Oh? Have you asked him?
I haven't asked him, but I'm ready to catch him.
And you haven't mentioned like the apartment complex thing at all. Dude,
I don't know how you couldn't. I wouldn't be like,
where are where are you? I would be too for real, Yeah,

(11:48):
I would bringing my home girls. I would be freaking
rolling up. That was my next question. Have you told
any of like your girlfriends, any family about this? Or
are you just keeping it all in? I've been really
trying to keep it to myself, but I feel like
I just can't anymore. To be honest, Yeah, I wouldn't
do exactly what Alex and Christian just said, Like I
would wait until I knew he was over there on
a lunch break, and then I would just show up

(12:09):
and be like, Hey, what's going on here? Yeah it's
why are you here on your lunch break every single
day and not telling me about for lunch today? Yeah? Yeah,
I just wanted to make sure. Yeah, I wanted to
really make sure before I accuse him, right, And um,
I think the reason a lot of people do the
roar of the roses to catch a cheater segment when
something that they see going on, when they see something

(12:31):
shady going on, is they also want proof because a
lot of people will just lie to your face, you know,
and you want to believe someone that you're with, right,
you want to trust them. But sometimes especially with this situation,
especially with if he's going somewhere, if he's getting text
from someone that you've never met, you've never heard about,
you've been married for five years. It looked like he
had a kissy emoji on it, and then he's been

(12:51):
going somewhere every single day at lunch and you had
no idea. Yeah, that is Yeah, part is too much. Yeah,
Like it's hard to trust somebody to look you in
the eye and be like, no, I'm just nothing. I'm
going over to this apartment complex because I'm doing maintenance
work on the side or something that you can't believe that.
So that's why I think a lot of people do
this to get proof. Yeah, Okay, well what grocery store

(13:14):
is he a rewards card? Remember at? Oh we just
shop it? Okay, all right, cool, Well we'll call from there.
Do what we normally do and say that we're say
we're doing a promotion where we offer one random rewards card,
remember a free bouquet of flowers delivered anywhere in the
country once a month, and guess who's the winner him
and hopefully and we'll see if he gives us your
name or sends the flowers to somebody else. Okay, okay,

(13:38):
thank you, yep, all right, we'll do. We'll play us
on come Back and then call him and see see
if we can catch him cheating. Right after this, in
War the Roses sketch Cheater. It's a jewel show in
the middle of War the Roses to catch a cheater,
and Tangy is on the phone and she thinks that
her husband to five years Marco, might be planning Marco
polo with somebody else if you're just joining us. She
thinks that he's cheating because all of a sudden, he's

(14:00):
been getting a lot of text messages from someone that
she's never heard of. It says Tyson on his phone,
So she thinks maybe he saved like a maybe he
typed in like a dude's name so that it would
look like he was getting text from a guy. Also,
the other day, she looked over her shoulder when Tyson
was texting him and it looked like there was a
kissie emoji. And because of that, she put a GPS
on his car. And he's been going to an apartment

(14:20):
complex every single day at lunch and she has no
idea about it. So he's been doing something behind her
back for sure. Hopefully it's not cheating. But we're about
to get him on the phone and see if we
can figure it out. All right, are you ready to
make our phone call? I mean yeah, I guess I'm
ready to catch them. All right, Here we go with
Dallas on a bright Now. Hello, Hey, this is Jorban

(14:51):
calling from stor If this is Marco, then I have
some exciting news for you. Oh okay, is this is
this Marco blank? Yes, this is Marco. Congratulations Marco, you're
this month's winner, winner of what, Winner of the big
promotion we have going on at the grocery store where

(15:14):
we call one random Rewards card member every single month
to say thank you for shopping with us, and they
get a free bouquet of thirty six long stem red
roses to send to anybody in the country. Thanks, thank you.
It's totally free. We'll send you an email confirmation and
you'll see that and all we need from you, no

(15:34):
purchase necessarily. Like I said, is if you know who
you want to send them to, I can get all
the information right now. If not, we can get it later.
But if you know where you want to send them,
we can just get this taken care of right now. Okay, yeah, yeah,
I think I think I know who I want you
to send them to. Great, what do you need? Well,
first of all, I would need the name first and last,
anything you want to put on a card. Also, what

(15:56):
type of card is it? And then we can get
the address and stuff and we can get is all
taken care of. So if you got the name, we
can start there. Then you can send them to Tyson
And what's the occasion? You can have just a generic card?
We have get well cards, we have obviously the lovey dovey,

(16:16):
lovey love you how much cards? Any kind of card
you want? Really? So is there a specific theme of
a card? I think I'm thinking more along like a
thank you card? Great, yeah, we can do that, um
you thank you cards set up? And what is there
anything you'd like to put on that card to Tyson. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(16:37):
you can put m Thanks for giving me what I
never knew I wanted but always needed. Love you King,
Love you King. Okay, what wait? Who's that Marco? That's
your wife, TANGI this is actually the Jewels Show. It's
a radio show. My name's Jewel, mine's Alex. I'm Christian Grace.

(16:58):
Now and we do a segment on a show called
War the Rose to Catch a Cheater, where we catch
people cheating and yeah, wow, yeah, I really I just
can't believe it. I just what the is going on? Baby? No,
it's it's nothing like it's just a thank you card.
Oh please, I can't. I can't even. I can't even.
I'm like, I'm shook. Well you wrote in there didn't

(17:20):
sound like a just a normal thank you card though. No, no, baby, no,
no I'm not. I'm not. That's that's insane. Okay. I
can't deal with you just completely lying to me. You
literally said, love you King. Like, what is going on?
It's it's more complicated to that. How How did you know?

(17:48):
Because I saw your text the other day and you know,
I figured you saved a girl's name in your phone.
I never thought this was what was going on. But well,
I guess, I guess you know now I'm sorry, babe.

(18:11):
Who is he? He's a coworker, and you know, I
never matter. It just all happened so fast, and I
have so many questions. This is so stuped Marco. I know,
I know, I know. I feel so terrible. I wanted

(18:33):
to tell you, but then and Tyson invited me over
to lunch one day, and well, yeah, one one thing
led to another, and I'm sorry, So really, you're you're
leaving me for this guy? Not necessarily, I mean, now
that it's out there, I was thinking maybe we could
talk about kind of having like an I don't know,

(18:53):
an open thing, like it's the same sex. Then maybe
it doesn't matter, or we could or we could have
him join us. Wow, okay, this is this is not
a negotiation, absolutely not what the I'm I'm done. Listen,
you're not even hearing me out. He offers me some
things that you aren't able to offer me, Like, I

(19:16):
don't care. You didn't tell me you've been hiding it.
Can you know it's wrong? Ibe, you have to hear
me out. I swear it's something completely different from what
you and I have it's it's completely different. Really well,
I mean that would have been nice to you know know,
I'm really I'm done with you. Can we hang up

(19:39):
on him? No, baby, you've got to hear me. Ufu
TANGI there he goes, I hung up on him. He's gone. Wow,
that's a bomb and a half that was just dropped
on your head. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, yeah, honestly,
and I I just can't help but think about this.
When I was hearing him speak, there's zero percent chance
in my opinion, that this is not this is the

(20:01):
first time. Oh yes, because you can just tell, like
he's obviously has a lot of feelings for this guy.
This isn't something totally sexual, and like I don't want
to like add any salt to the wound. But why
it's bad, Yeah, Like why it's so much worse So
you can tell this isn't just a fling. And I
just am under the impression that he's probably been doing
this under you know, behind your back for a while.

(20:23):
I did feel a little guilty to begin with, because
I have to admit, like I did cheat on him
a few years back, but it was purely sexual. It's
purely sexual and it was like a one time thing.
There was no there were no feelings involved. But now
that I know that he's dealing with this, and probably

(20:44):
I don't feel so bad any dang, And look, don't
feel bad because at the end of the day, I mean,
I just want to be honest. You have no idea
how many men there are out there who feel the
need to keep their you know, the truth about their
sexuality a secret, and they will go to great lengths,
whether it be relationships, marriages, whatever it is to make them,
even themselves believe that, you know, that's the life that
they feel they should live. So well, maybe he shouldn't

(21:04):
be married obviously, do what you gotta do to get
your life back, repair, regroup and rebound a few times,
and then find someone that you want to date for
a while. I guess. So all right, Well, sorry you
had to hear that. Thank you for your phone call
and and keep us updated on on your on what

(21:25):
happens with you. Okay, the Jewels show on demand, Jebils
dirty Little Secret, Time for your dirty little Secret. That
was kind of English. I don't know what's happened to
my voice at German? Now, Yeah, it's time, that's a

(21:45):
little secret. What's kind of secret? Show we tell? This
is the time on the show we would tell that
the secrets who go fast? You would German in the post.
I think I was going first time for dirty little
secret text in four one of six one. If you
have a dirty little secret, you can tell us anything.
We always keep everybody ann miss. We don't even ask
what your name is. So you have a dirty little
secret that you want to tell us? Um? Yeah, So

(22:06):
I've been dating a guy for about a year and
there's something pretty big that he doesn't know about me. Yetta, Okay, Well,
a lot of people like don't tell their new like
significant there's our relationships about all their dirt. Yeah, exactly.
Well I definitely wouldn't tell him like within the first

(22:28):
couple months. But it's been like a year now, and
now it feels like kind of past the point of
maybe when I should have told him something major. Yeah,
years a while, so it's a long time. I mean, yeah,
at this point you should know, like everything's you know, serious.
Is it that you don't like cottage cheese? Um? No,
I do not. That's not a secret. I don't. I'm out.

(22:49):
I'm out about not liking cottage sheets, okay, because that
would be I mean, could you imagine me? It was
someone a year and then they're like, hey, I've been
faking that I like cottage sheets this whole time, talk
about being pissed off you break up, or that they
like peaches with their cottage because you liked it. No,

(23:10):
nothing to do with cottage cheese, not peaches, not food related. Okay, okay,
So what are you keeping from your boyfriend? Then? Well, um,
he knows that I am bisexual. Um, but he doesn't
know that I was actually married before and I was
married to a woman who Okay, big secrets all around.

(23:34):
How do you hide that? Even the fact that women
or man or whoever, The fact that you've been married
before and he still doesn't know after a year is
a big deal, I know, a really big deal. Are
you gonna tell him? I feel like I have to,
but I'm still like, I'm really nervous because it's that's huge. Yeah,
but why did you not tell him? A little? Like?

(23:55):
How come you didn't tell it to begin with? Oh? Well,
I just it's just kind of I feel like it's
a bit of a turn off. I mean, I don't
know what you're buy. Yeah, for most guys, they'd be
like sweet. What then that's the by part, the marriage part?
Oh yeah yeah? Was that? Was there a specific reason
as to why you didn't tell them at the start?

(24:17):
Was it just because you thought he might not like you? Yeah?
And he had kind of just made a few like
comments about um, just like how sacred marriage is and
how you shouldn't make such a commitment unless you're like
so sure, oh, because he thinks that you Yeah. Yeah,

(24:37):
so I think things were like maybe she'll be my wife, Yeah,
my first time. You're like at the point now where
either you tell him and risk his reaction or just
never tell him. But if he finds out after you've
been together even longer, it's even worse. Yeah, that's terrible, man.
I don't know what you do. Yeah, I feel like

(24:57):
I probably should tell him. Yeah, I I have an idea. Yeah,
you can tell him. But when you tell him, bring
home like one of your cute girlfriends and so this happened,
but hey, yeah, what's what's your relationship with your ex?
Be like and this is her and I think we
should all hang out for They'll be like that's fine,
I don't care. Yeah, it might not be my ex

(25:22):
I can definitely find somewhere. You go, Alex again with
the great life advice. Thank you for telling us you
do a little secret. Good luck. Then Jebel Show on Demand.
Then Jebel Show on Demand. Come to the I n
N The Idiot News Network where idiots aren't just in
the news. The news for Monday, May nine, twenty twenty two.
I'm Jebel Fresh and what are you thinking? Why I

(25:45):
say that? In just a second, but first let's meet
the idiots. I'm Alex Fresh. Be careful who you let
fly yourself around the world because one pilot wasn't qualified.
I have all that coming right up in my story
coming up. That sounds terrifying. Yeah, Christian graceon My Idiot
proves that showing off in your car makes you simply
an idiot. More coming up on that in my story
this coming out. Okay, more on those in just a
second before I first start of the the day and the

(26:06):
i ND the Idiot News Network where idiots aren't just
in the news, they report the news. I really don't
have much detail on this, but I did see a
headline that I thought was funny, So that's pretty much
all I have in this story. Doctor Phil writes Oprah
a thank you note every single year. Just told you.
I have no more information on that. Dear Oprah, thank
you so much. What were you thinking give me a career?
What were you thinking? Thank you? Well, I didn't even

(26:29):
know they knew each other. So no, Oprah, she put
doctor Oz on the map too. I think Oprah gave
everybody a job. No, but she did. She discovered doctor
Phil and put him on her show, and Oprah made
him millions of dollars and a really good career. Yeah,
he sends her a thank you note every single year
to say thank you, Oprah. I mean, what else can
you give the woman that has like four billion dollars? Yeah,

(26:51):
don't forget about me, Oprah. Yeah, I mean he probably is,
like the whole world wants to thank you, because if
it wasn't for you finding me, then I would have
never founded the cash Me Out. I was just about
to say that if Oprah would have never found doctor Phil,
we wouldn't have to deal with Daniel Burgolie. Yeah, I
don't know. Is that something to thank Oprah for? No?
I think that doctor Phil sends Oprah thank you card

(27:13):
every single year because she made doctor Phil not literally,
she's not his mom to make him like that, but okay,
she discovered him and made his career. He discovered the
cash Me Outside girl because she was on his show first.
And so we should all be going to Oprah's house
and leaving flaming dog poop on. That's what you should
be doing. This is the Iron and the Idiot News Network,
where idiots aren't just the news the news for next

(27:36):
story that is that. Send it on over to Alex
Freysh who's on location in the air forty thousand feet
somewhere going across the pond over to London, where a
co pilot of a Virgin Atlantic flight pulled a pilot
that he wasn't qualified to be a co pilot. What
so they had to turn around and go back Wait
what are you for real? Yeah, for real. It was
a packed flight and it was going from London to
New York. He was pretty far in a couple hours

(27:58):
where he said that, and then they had to turn
back around and go back to London. So the pilot
a few hours into an international flight, said that the
copilot wasn't qualified and they turned around, said he hasn't
taken his final flying test, final flying test, final flying
it's not out of flying university wherever they go to
learn to fly university. How did you make it so far?
I mean I was even allowed to do it. How

(28:19):
do you even get on the plane? Thank you? Yeah. Also,
though I wouldn't, I would be upset if I was
on that plane though they turned around, I would be pissed. Yeah,
I would be like, I don't care if you're going
to turn around and go back and we've already been
in the air and we're going from London to New York.
That's a long flight, right, that was like a nine
hour flight, ten hour flight. Sometimes if we're already halfway
there and you turn around, you might as well let

(28:42):
that dude who hasn't finished flight school fly it and
crash it, because I don't want to be around it
a point. Yeah, go ahead. This is the i n N,
the Idiot News Network, and it just goes to show
you can't really trust. That was one of biggest fears
of trusting the pilot. Now I have to freaking here
we go again for the rest of your long I
was just getting over my fear of flying and not
to fly today. This is the I n N News Network.

(29:03):
Wheredients are just in the news the news for our
next story, Let's send it on over to Christian Grace though,
who was on location one second. I'm just now I'm
picturing us on the plane outs on our marria, so
we traveled together. Obviously, maybe she's going to bed. She's
going to be trying to get in the cockpit to
like check their credentials, to be like, hold on, I
read a story today. She's like, I want to call
your university a flight and confirm your records. What a

(29:25):
flight school did you go to? Mister captain Man, who's
your favorite professor? I'm on location in Irvine, California, where
police arrested a man for felony vandalism, and guess what
he was doing to receive that charge of felony vandalism.
He was simply doing donuts in an empty parking lot.
They charged him with felony vandalism for thirty seven hundred

(29:45):
dollars worth of damage to the parking lot and painted
parking lot lines, and that he was using dangerous maneuvers
to cause this because it burned rubber. Right, we're doing
donuts and it must have messed up the lines. Oh,
felony charts. I mean the judge must must have been
named Karen. If anybody's gonna get a felony charge, just
a driver, it should be those that have like those
like farting engines on their little Honda series. The sound
of being going down the road, ye has so loud,

(30:07):
Alex and I live by the freeway, so I can't
tell if it's a gunshot or backfire. You want to
go back to sleep a couple of days ago? What
was that? Which one was that? And I'm like, that's
a backfire. Okay, sure could have been a gunshot. I'm
not sure. Yeah, that's all I'm sitting it back to you.

(30:28):
This is the I n N, the Idiot News Network.
Radios aren't just in the news. The tune in tomorrow,
same time for another Oh wow, that was hard Hirding
report from the in n Ruber. You can follow the
show on social media at the Jewel Show. Follow all
of us individually. I'm at Jewel Fresh, I'm at that Dreas,
and I'm at Christian Gray Snow News News and your
phone break happens every single hour on the twenties. Your
next one is coming up in just a few minutes.

(30:49):
It's a Jewel show, then Jebil Show on demand, then
Jewbil Show on demand. It's another Jebil phone frame day mornings.
That's twenties. I got to work on my Nickel Cage
impression when as anybody said that in the last like
twenty years, I don't know. It's a Jewel show and
it's time for your brand new phone prank. And today
Devin is on the phone, and Devin wants to prank

(31:10):
his wife Jessica, because she's a huge Nicholas Cage fan. Yeah,
it's like a glitch in the universe, how big like
every movie. It's just en psyclopedic knowledge. Nicholas Cage is
a great actor. Yeah. Um so anyway, this is for
her birthday, right, Yeah, it's for her birthday. I wanted

(31:31):
to like spet up like a huge like call from
Nicolas Cage as like a gag. So he told he
told his wife for her birthday that he paid for
a cameo from Nicolas Cage, and Nicholas Cage wants to
call her. So I can't do a Nicolas Cage impression.
So I just got a sound clip and play I'm
gonna call as a d age and get him on
the phone, play the sound clip, and then tell her
that what'd you do? Nicolas Cage now hates you for

(31:53):
some reason. See how she handles that. All right, I'm
gonna call right now. Here we go. Yeah, no, Hello,
I'll tell Pete Davidson. Hello, tell Pete Davidson. I've got
a thing right now. I'll call him back. I'll call
him back. Hello. Hello, Hi is Jessica Jessica? Yeah, sorry

(32:17):
about that. Ashton Black from i C. I'm nice to
meet you. Oh hi, are you part of the Cameo Group?
I am one of the head agents at one of
the biggest agencies in Los Angeles. I do know of
cameo though, because my client, Nicholas Cage, has a cameo
and apparently there's been some sort of a phone call

(32:38):
thingy hooked up for right now that I was supposed
to get him on the phone for. Oh my gosh,
I can't believe that this is really happening. Yeah, yeah, okay,
So you're a big fan. Huh yep, who isn't. Yes, okay, yeah,
I've been huge fans. All right, Well, I'm gonna go
ahead and transfer him, transfer you through to him. Then okay,
and then happy birthday. I guess it's it's your birthday,
so okay, hold on, thank you, thank you, nice to

(33:04):
see you. Sorry. Hello, Yeah, it's for the family and
the kids most importantly. Um, sorry, what's he's weird? He's
got a really weird look. He's got long nails, little eyes,
a strange star nose, small long tail. Tell me you

(33:25):
didn't do that. It's Ashton. It's Ashton Park here again,
Nicholas Cage's agent. Yeah, I think I cannot believe what
you just said to one of the greatest actors of
our time. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I
could have said that would have been a problem. I'll
have you. Do you know that he just committed to
a movie that he's got to be shooting in a

(33:46):
couple of months, and whenever anything like this happens, I
can't get the guy out of bed for six months.
So really, more than just pissing off, Nicholas Cage, you
just lost US twenty million dollars. Thanks loved. Look, is
there anyone I can just talk to him again? Like
to get this cleared up? Do you have the line

(34:08):
was messed up? Do you have a sea otter on hand?
A sea otter? The only way I've ever seen Nicholas
Cage calm down when he's like this is if he
has a sea otter. No. Never, he's having a bad day.
The only thing I've ever seen make Nicholas Cage relax
is holding a sea otter. He loves them. I don't
know why, but he just does. I don't look. I'm
so sorry. I'm sure if you let me talk to
him again, we can clear up this whole misunderstanding. I'm

(34:30):
a huge fan. I mean, I love him. Okay, well,
you know what, I could lose my job for this,
but at this point you cost me twenty million dollars
and maybe a relationship with my client. Who cares. I'm
going to send you back over to his phone and
good luck without a sea otter. Really, Oh, I'm Nicolas
Cage and I'm going to steal the Declaration of Independence. Sorry,

(34:52):
what's going on? Oh? What's going on? Is that's actually
your husband Devin, And this is the Jewel Show, Miny
Jewel minds Alex minding this and I'm Gray and your
husband wanted to prank you for your birthday by setting
up a fake Nicholas Cage call to freak you out. Oh,
in so much trouble. Yeah, wait, so did you even

(35:16):
buy a cameo? Oh? No, I thought that I made
Nicholas Cage mad and he was bringing up the otters.
I was so confused. Then, Jebel Show on Demand First
Day follow up, Samuel is on the phone today for
a first date follow up and he went on a

(35:36):
date with a woman named Savannah, and now Savannah's not
calling him back and he doesn't know why. And his
date sounded fun, so I'm not sure either, Samuel. But
before we get into your date, how long has it
been since you and Savannah went out. It's been just
about a week now. Um An, you know it was awesome,
you know, like I really thought we had a good

(35:59):
man and like even our like we joked about our
names like kind of matching us, you know, Samuel in Savannah,
Like you know, it's just like we like we just
I felt like it was just real good, you know,
like yeah, I mean that's cute. You know, like you
guys can get married one day and then be Samuel
and Savannah's writing like it just sounds perfect and it
sounds like love. It sounds like love. That's a little quick,

(36:21):
but you know you kind of go there, right. How
many times have you texted her since your date? I've
texted three times, um and no response. Okay. And your
days sounded fun. You said you went to one of
those acts throwing places. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was good, um, like,

(36:43):
I mean, the whole vibe was a lot of fun
until I almost killed her. So we were you know,
you you toss the acts like at the target, like
he kind of take turns going back and forth, so
we kind of gotten in a rhythm. And also like
I just turned for a second. She was right by me,

(37:03):
and I turned, just thinking like I'm gonna look cool,
like not look like throw the act. She had already
thrown her acts and she was down there grabbing it
and thanks thankfully, I am a horrible act thrower because
it went very far off but close enough to kind
of scare both of us. Yeah, how did she react
to that? I don't I don't think she was happy.

(37:25):
She seemed a little pissed and a little like, you know,
shook up, like I was shook up. I I I mean,
it was super irresponsible and I get that, like, uh,
I know that's on me, but you know, we we
started laughing about it, like, and that's where I kind
of thought, like, all right, you know this isn't gonna

(37:47):
happen again. We've got this great story. You know, I
almost killed her on our first day the kid. But
you know, when we get to the end of the night,
like I could tell like she she didn't want to
go in for the kiss, and I don't want to
push it or anything. Can I thought, you know, maybe
she's still a little shaken up by this. So I'm

(38:08):
not sure how I would feel about that. I'm not
sure if I would if it would like cause me
to not want to go on another date with you
and just like think of you an overall like a
really irresponsible person or not. I don't think so. Like
I would end, but I would be like, well, that's okay,
you almost killed me, but that's weird. You almost killed
me and you killed the vibe. I'm out. Yeah. If
I liked him, though, then I would be one thing. Okay,
So is that is that what you think it was
that ruined your chances at another date and the reason

(38:31):
that you're getting ghosted because you you know, because of
the you almost killed her. Yeah, I think that's it.
But it's like I said, the date was going so
great up until that, and I feel like I understand
it was very responsible. It's like I know that would
never happen again, you know kind of a thing. So
it's just I think if I could explain that to her, like, look,

(38:53):
I understand how crazy that was, let's you know, let's
start over and go from there, like, okay, and is
there anything else that you can think of her? That's
the only awkward moment on your date that you can
that you remember, Like, that's that's it. I mean, like,
like I said, you know, we were we were vibing,

(39:13):
having a good time, like and even even after that,
we still I you know, I thought things got back
on track. But that's the only thing I can think
of that that would have happened. Okay, Well, we'll see
if we can figure it out. We'll play a song,
come back, and then call her and find out why
she's not calling you back and see if we can
get you another data right all right, right in the

(39:33):
middle of your first date, fall up, if you're just
joining us. Samuel is on the phone and Samuel accidentally
almost murdered his date on their first date. Her name
is Savannah. They went ax throwing, and the only thing
that he can think of being the reason that he's
getting ghosted is the fact that they went ax throwing
and there was a point where she went to go
grab her axes out of the targets, and he threw
his without realizing that she had already started walking down there,

(39:56):
and apparently the acts almost hit her. Obviously, you was shook.
He was shook, and he said it got back to
normal though. They started laughing again at a fun time
at the end of the date. Um, you guys didn't kiss, right,
we didn't kiss, you know. Hearing it out loud, it's
a lot like sound too great? It doesn't sound great. Yeah,
saying it again, I was like, wow that this does

(40:16):
not sound good. So maybe that is the reason you're
not getting a call back. But we're about to call
her right now and see if we can find out
and help you get another date. All right, you ready,
I'm ready? Okay, here we go. Hello. Hi, mass speaks Savannah.

(40:38):
Please ah, yeah, that is hurt. Can I ask his calling?
Yes you can. My name is Jewel from a radio
show called The Jewel Show. And mine's Alex from the
same show called The Jewel Show. And I'm Christian from
also the same show called The Jewel Show. Oh Okay, Hi, um, Well,
we're calling you because one of our listeners asked us

(41:01):
to call you. We do a second called the first
eight follow up. That's where if you go out on
a date with somebody and then you end up ghosting them,
they can email us to get you on the phone.
And asked what happened? And so Samuel, who you went
ax throwing with? That dude? I don't remember? Yeah, no, right,
I don't know who you're talking about. Well, Samuel wanted

(41:21):
us to call you and find out where you're not
calling him back. And I'll just tell you he thinks
that you're not calling him back because he almost hit
you with an axe on your axe throwing date. I mean,
he did almost do that, And I'm not gonna lie.
That really did not make me so happy, you know,
like that act. It was just kind of your responsible,

(41:44):
like he wasn't even looking where he was throwing or
anything totally. But that's that's not like the mball be
all for why Okay didn't call him back. Would you
like to tell us why? I'm I don't know. I'm
I'm still honestly kind of like weird in about this

(42:05):
and everything. But um, I actually ended up getting the
name and number of this guy who works there, works
works at the axe throwing place that you and Samuel
went to on your date. Yeah, the sixty year old
lumberjack hipster guy. Are you serious, Samuel a little too early? Wow? Yeah, Savannah, Yeah,

(42:32):
that's Samuel. Samuel's on the phone listening to the conversation
and apparently couldn't help himself, had to jump in, didn't
wait for the right moment. But sorry, Oh I'm sorry,
I'm like really confused right now, What's what's happening? Samuel's
on the phone. I wanted to talk to you. Apparently
he's an I can't But you guys should have seen

(42:53):
this dude. I mean, he was the he was the
brawny man and mister Queen and Justin Bieber all had
a threesome and this was the baby. Like you don't
even know him, like that is way way I know.
I know enough to know that he's he's like seventy.
He has that he has a twirly mustache. I mean,

(43:17):
at least I have a car. I'm sorry, Sorry, what
is that supposed to mean? Yeah, because it means that
I'm sure he's one of those just bicycling little scrawny
old men going back and forth because he thinks he's
saving trees and stuff, like some kind of urban eco cowboy.

(43:37):
So you're saying that the dude that she got a
number from at the axe throwing place when she was
on a date with you is a seventy year old
hipster lumberjack that looks like the Brownie man mister Clean
and Justin Pieber had a baby and is an eco
friendly cowboy that doesn't have a car. Yeah, that about
sums it up. Yep. You know, from my end, it's

(43:58):
just honestly like somebody being very petty and very jealous.
I just don't get like why why if you're on
a date, why you would get another dude's number, And like,
if you did want to date him, then why not
tell Samuel that you don't want to see him again?
I mean, look, I know it sounds I know it
sounds bad, like, hey, sorry, I got the number of

(44:19):
this guy on our date, and like, look, I know
it sounds bad and everything, but he only gave me
in the head with an axe and then like the
guy who I'm talking to now he saw the whole thing.
And then Samuel went to the bathroom and like he
ended that like coming over just making sure I was okay,
and then okay, you know you're fine. Like I actively

(44:41):
sought it out. It wasn't like I'm like, oh, hey,
let me go get the number of this guy who
I'm on a when I'm on a date or anything.
It just like it just happened, and like he was
actually more caring about you have his granddaughter. I don't
even know where you're getting that from, like that he's
seventy years It's like, honestly, Samuel, you just found really

(45:02):
petty and really jealous. You know that's that's fine, Okay,
he's not seventybody's brewing his own kombucha and to save
the forest. And you know, I hope you have a
real good time composting with this. I know. I mean, like,
at least he's doing something for the planet. Why would
you ever hate on that? And also computes healthy. Like

(45:25):
what you're saying literally makes no sense. It's not even
a good insult, Savannah, would you like to go out
on another date with Samuel? Will pay for it? Well,
I'm sorry, guys, this whole thing is just it's kind
of it's it's bazzling to me, like, yes, I like himbucha,
so what if I care about my gut? I think

(45:47):
you guys know the answer, like, okay, yeah, axe throwing
is very fun. We had fun on our date, but
it's not that fun getting almost hit in the back
of my head with an at You know, I'd rather
be with somebody who actually gave about what was going on.
Don't need another date? That's just are you surecause? I

(46:10):
can still keep asking Savannah. It seems like we've got
it right there on the edge. She's about to say, yes,
I can. You know they're not very good, you know.
I think we're just not gonna match up. I don't
think so. Yeah, sorry, guys, better luck next time. It's okay,
I have my lack. Well that's fine. No, just have

(46:31):
fun walking barefoot and your compost piles, hugging trees and
making your assorted nut milks. The Jewels Show on demand
Jubils Dirty Little Secret. Hello, Hello, Hey, how are you good?

(46:53):
How are you I'm wonderful. Thank you for asking. Do
you have a dirty little secret? Yeah? I thought it
was kind of stupid, so I was surprised, but I
got a call. Okay, she says she thought it was stupid,
so she surprised. You gotta call. Well, what is your
dirty little secret? Well, we'll be the judge of a
stupid I don't even know what it is. Okay. Well,

(47:15):
I was going to give worse secret, but I'm way
too nervous, So come on, come on, give us the
big one. Double dirty, Yeah, a double dirty girl. Nobody
knows who you are, so you're you're anonymous. Okay, Well,
if my husband heard this, he would know. He doesn't listen,

(47:35):
she told me. I just I mean, because you know,
like where we talk about everything. Yeah, first, I guess
the dumb secret is that, um, you're to catch a cheater.
Segment gives me massive anxiety, but I'm super addictive to
listening to it. I just yeah, if it's really messed

(47:58):
up like story, it gives me massive anxiety, and it
kind of like ruins my day because it's like I know,
I know, and I'm like my husband will come home
and be like, oh my gosh, I have no idea
what was on. He's like, okay, what is it? Like,

(48:19):
it's been bothering me all day? This guy did this? Okay,
all right, So okay, So for the other one. The
other one, my husband likes to share me. Oh my god, wife?
Yeah cool, so is Alex. Okay, that's why she's calling. Yeah.

(48:48):
I love to be there when this happens. Or yeah, yeah,
it's more like the like vixen, not the cuphold. Like.
It's more I'll be really involved. He's not like not
like ridiculing or anything like that. Like he's he likes
to be involved in Okay, how long? How long have

(49:09):
you guys been doing that in your marriage? Oh? Um,
I'm super excited here. Well, we started out like women
threesome because I'm bisexual, so we did like a lot
of threesomes with women and then, um, he brought this
up I don't know, probably like three years ago, and
then we kind of took a break. Wait a minute,

(49:30):
So it hasn't been with a dude, No, it has.
We have Okay, I'm like okay, yeah, no, no, like
three times and we're supposed to set another one up soon.
I have a question, how how do you find your thirds?

(49:51):
Like where do you go look for these people? So
hard part, that's the hard part because you don't have
as much luck like going out, I mean per se um.
So there's a couple of websites that are like based
off of like different fetishes and they have, you know,
different categories and you can put up what you're looking

(50:13):
for and if they like what you're looking for, then
they message you. Like dating apps, but also a hot
tip you can use other apps too, and then just
be like, hey, this is what we're doing. Yeah, I
don't know, they're interestingplace like hey, I like that toaster

(50:36):
you're selling. Also, are you interested why we're here? Well?
Actually I thought about doing like the tender thing, and
I tried dolining a couple apps, but you know, they
want you to pay, and you know it's funny. You
know it's funny. Is um? I think it was on
it was tender. Alex was like, well, this guy's kind
of cute, and she showed to me. I was like, oh,
that's my friend RC. I actually knew the guy. BE

(51:00):
messenged her and then she was like, hey, I think
you normal. Didn't he stopped messaging here? Well you and
your hubb you have a good tidy. Yeah, thanks for
telling us. Oh yeah about now, thanks for your little secret.
Love you guys out? Did you will show on demand?

(51:20):
So it's Monday, and you might be like Monday, huh,
but think about this. Are you having a normal Monday?
Or did you wake up today realizing that you won
a million dollars in the Powerball but you waited too
long to cash your ticket and now it's expired, so
no million dollars for you. Get to work. It's Monday.
I would die move Monday the segment where you make

(51:42):
you feel better about your Monday by hearing about other
people's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad decisions, And that
would be a terrible monday to wake up and go Um.
I could have won a million dollars, but I didn't
because I didn't check my ticket in time. But it
was worth a million dollars at one time. One time,
I was a millionaire and I didn't know it. And
now I know that I was a millionaire and I
didn't cash this ticket on time. I am having the
worst Monday ever. If you didn't do that this morning, Congratulations,

(52:05):
your Monday's going better than that. Person's yes, wrong move Monday.
Feel better about your Monday by hearing about other people's terrible, horrible,
no good, very bad decisions. We do it at this
time every single Monday. Actually, what's your wrong move? So
I was sixteen, I had freshly gotten my wife, and
with one of our high school clubs, I was helping
direct traffic for the air show. So one of my

(52:27):
friends and I were in my mom's brand new minivan
and we're driving through this little narrow driveway area while
a couple of cops are walking along the edge of
the road, and my friends sitting here saying, you don't
have room. You're gonna hit him, You're gonna hit him.
And I'm like, no, it's fine, I have plenty of room.

(52:51):
I did not have plenty of room. I took the
mirror of my mom's brand new minivan. Oh on her shoulders, Oh,
you hit a cop. Pretty much anytime my friends and
I were walking on the air show that day, she
and her friends were literally pointed to laugh, like that's
the idiot who hit me? Call us up eight to

(53:13):
eight three, four, three one or six one. Text in
at four, one or six one it's wrong move Monday?
Feel better about your Monday by hearing about other people's terrible, horrible,
no good, very bad decisions. Carly, what's your wrong move?
I married the wrong brother. Well, I wasn't expecting that.
You say that he's just a lot cooler, he has

(53:35):
a really good career. Yeah. I've also heard um because
one of my friends actually dated him, that he's really
good in bed many Well, yeah, you know, we always
love when people say they listened to the show here
for once. I hope your husband doesn't listen because he

(53:56):
hears this. I already feel bad for him. It's wrong
move Monday. Feel better about your Monday by hearing about
other people's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad decisions. Call
us up eight at eight three four three one oh
six one, texting four one oh six one of Michael,
how are you going to make people feel better on
this Monday? What's your wrong move? My wrong move was
I had a job interview online, right, like a zoom interview,

(54:18):
and so I log in, I get on the screen.
There's no one there. So I'm kind of getting pumped
up for the interview. So I take a bong hit
and I'm oh, no, turn out. Fix top by Kesha,
like at the top of my lungs. I like that song.
It kind of gets me going, you know. Okay, so

(54:41):
there's two wrong moves in one story right now, I
can tell you that. Okay. So, and then the person
I was interviewing with suddenly is on my screen and
they totally saw me and heard me and really embarrassing.
So it was a job interview and you're taking bong
rips and dancing around singing in the morning field. You

(55:01):
did not I'm guessing you're CEO of the company. Now
spoiler alert, I didn't get the job. They're loss here.
I know I'm sitting here judging this guy. But I
kind of did that one time too. It wasn't a
bomb grip, but you know, I'm smart. It was just
a little vape pan. Oh geez, you're vaping in a
job interview on zoom. It was like a job meeting.

(55:22):
It was I thought my camera was off because it's
just like you come in and every wise chit chat
to me. You're just listening and I'm just sitting there,
you know, and oh my god, why could I see
myself in the corner. Thankfully, no one said yeah, they

(55:44):
definitely saw me just getting Yeah. That's why I love
Zoom meetings. You can look at the people's videos sometimes
and they think that their camera's off and they're doing
something weird. I mean, I think that I'm on mute
a lot that I'm not. Oh god, I double triple check.
And then it's like the next thing I know, people
are like, I'm like, wait, why are they start You're like,
don't find me. And then and then I put it

(56:06):
on mute and they're like and they go back to talking.
I'm like, oh god, it's wrong. Move Monday. Feel better
about your Monday by hearing about other people's cerebral horrible,
no good, very bad decisions. So let's think about it
real quick. Did you have a job interview on Zoom
and then when the camera turned on, you were taking
a bong hit and dancing around the room to Kesha's TikTok.
Probably not, congratulations you're having a good Monday already. Or

(56:30):
did you start your day by getting into your mom's
minivan when you just started learning to drive and run
over a cop on accent? Probably not. Guess what, Monday's
going Pretty good? It's wrong move Monday. Feel better about
your Monday by hearing about other people's terrible, horrible, no good,
very bad decisions. So happy Monday, Did You? Will show
on demand

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