October 27, 2022 • 37 mins
The Jubal Show starts off todays show with what is one thing that they would change from their morning routine, Jubal Fresh is the new plumber is this Phone Prank, Jubal Fresh reports on why Thanksgiving Dinner might be canceled this year in this Jubal News Network, we have a listener on the phone who thinks his girlfriend of three years is cheating on him in this War of the Roses to Catch a Cheater, we have a listener on the phone who wants to tell us a Dirty Little Secret about what he did as a kid in Elementary School to earn some extra cash, and I Don't Know Who Needs To Hear This, But you shouldn't serve soggy French fries!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Then Jebil Show on demand. A lot of people feel
the same about their morning routine, said Jewil Show. And
a lot of people feel like waking up or driving
in traffic is something they shouldn't have to do in
the morning. I agree, calls up right out eight to eight,
three four three one oh six one eight eight eight
three four three one oh six one, because it's time
(00:20):
four Ridiculous Internet Questions. It's the most exciting game show
in the universe. Today ridiculous Internet questions where we ask
you the topic that everybody's talking about on the dot
com today. Call us up eight eight eight three four
three one oh six one eight eight eight three four
three one oh six one. You can also text us
at four one oh six one, said jew Bile Show.
If you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine,
(00:43):
what would it be and why? That is today's ridiculous
Internet question. A lot of texts coming in at four
one oh six one. Let's say they would eliminate waking
up in their morning commute. Another one that says hygiene.
I would save so much more time if I never
had to shower or brush my teeth. I think you
can eliminate that I think there are some people that
do popular around the office, but there are some people that, definitely,
(01:04):
I think, eliminate that from their daily routine. Calls up
eight eight three four three one oh six one eight
eight eight three four three one oh six one. If
you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what
would it be and why? Bennett? If I had to
delete something from my day, it would definitely be cooking dinner.
I love to eat. I'm here for it. I'll anything,
but I don't like cooking it because it's tedious, it
takes time, and honestly, fifty percent of the time, I'm
(01:27):
not good at it. It's like, if you could eliminate
one thing from your daily routine, you would eliminate making dinner. Yeah, cooking, Like,
let's just skip to the eating. Got you. Somebody tecks
it in at four one o six one and says
they would eliminate getting dressed from their daily routine if
they could. Okay, I think there are people that do
that too. Called a nudist column. Yeah, you could go
live there. It's just the people that are usually there
are people you don't want to see nude. Yeah, calls
(01:48):
up it at eight, three, four, three, one six one
text and four on oh six one. If you could
eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it
be and why? Alex Well Bennett says, cooking at day cleaning. Oh,
I thought you like to clean. You like to vacuum?
I mean it just six time. Yeah, I mean I
do like to vacuum that house my allergies, but otherwise
I don't like to I don't like to clean at all. Okay,
got you. I don't know why I thought you like
enjoyed the act of vacuum. Maybe I'm gonna scrub the
(02:09):
countertops because I just feel like scrub in a countertop. Never,
that's always nice, right. I'm gonna find a music that
I used to party two yeah, when I was younger,
and I'm gonna put that on while I clean now
because I'm old. Yes, that's what that feeling is. Text
in four one to six one. If you could eliminate
one thing from your daily routine, what would it be?
Ny Christian? If I could eliminate one thing for my
daily routine. I love my sweet girl Abbey, but the
(02:31):
one thing that I would eliminate from my daily routine
is taking her to potty because I live like in
a high rise, you know, and just it just takes
her little legs don't move fast. So from the time
we walk from my apartment to the elevator and the
elevator to outside, Like, I would give anything if I
just had like a sliding glass door, I could just
open and be good to do your thing and come
on in when you're done. Why can't you hanger off
the balcony. I don't have a balcony. That's what happens
(02:53):
when you live in a three hundred square foot box.
Eight three four three one to six one text in
foe to six one. If you could eliminate one thing
from your daily routine, what would it be and why?
Someone said they would eliminate pooping because it takes too
much time and it's gross. I'm with you on that one.
Like I've digestive issues. It's really annoying. So I would
(03:13):
eliminate eating as well, because that leads to the other thing.
I'm in a very abusive cycle with food and pooping,
and I don't like it very much, So I would
eliminate that from my daily routine. That was disgusting, I know,
But who cares? Six one eight eight three four three
one o six one Victoria. If you could eliminate one
thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why?
(03:33):
Probably washing dishes? Like they have a dishwasher that you
can easily put them in, but when that gets full,
and then you have to take him out, like replates him.
I sound lazy, but everybody just doesn't want to do
chores or go to the bathroom. We don't want to
be adults, right. My only goal in life is to
be so successful that I have other people to do
that stuff for me. Right, to me, that's the only
(03:55):
reason to be successful and have money. Who cares about cars?
Who cares about any of that. I just don't want
to have to do chores anymore. Right, because you had
to do them as a kid, because your parents made
you because they didn't get successful to have people do
it for him, so they got you to do it
for him. Right, don't do the same thing to your kids.
You get enough money so you can hire any Also,
if anybody wants to an assistant, hit us up because
I love that right now, call up it at eight
(04:16):
three four three one six one text and four one
to six one. If you could eliminate one thing from
your daily routine? What would it be? And why? Hello?
Who's this Justin? Nice to meet you, Justin. Well, if
you could eliminate one thing for your daily routine, what
would it be? And why? Laundry? Because folding it is
repetitive and annoying. Yeah, good point, it really is. Have
you ever gone to a fluff and fold? They cost money,
(04:37):
but they're amazing. Oh Harley, to check it out. Do
you know what that is? I have no idea. Okay, well,
I'll tell you fluff and fold. So if you're driving
around and you see, like you know, there's those massage
powers with the windows all blacked out and they're open
at like two o'clock in the morning, and you don't
know why that's not a fluff and fold, But I
(05:00):
I'll tell you to go to one of those. It's
that laundry mats. Laundery marats have places in the back
where you go and they pay per pound. They'll do
your laundry. They'll do it for you and fold it
for you. It's a little bit more expensive, but if
you don't take a ton at a time for like
twenty five bucks, you can have your laundry fluffed and folded,
(05:20):
and it'll give you more time to go to that
other place I was talking about. Oh god, the Jewil
Show on demand. It's another Jewbil phone frame day mornings, twenties. Hello, Hey,
(05:41):
can This is Pete Eakins and I'm calling from plumbing
and I'm sure you're already a little bit frizzled, Yeah,
a little little What story story is? I know that
we we said we're gonna show up two days in
a row, and we haven't shown up, and you're the
tech that's coming out there to work. I know that
part of the story. Well, it's been two days. I
(06:01):
had no morders here. I called you guys two days
in a row, told me you were going to be here.
You didn't show up. Now I want you to be
here now. Now i'm finding out you're going to be late.
When are you getting here? If you don't have an
answer for me, yeah, I don't want to talk you
all right? Okay? Well, Well here's what I'm gonna do,
because I am very concerned about this. We take our
job very serious here Plumbing in I'm gonna transfer you
to the driver. He might be lost. He's a new employee.
(06:22):
But he's really good. His name is Heinrich, and you
can ask him directly where he's at, because I want
you to get an answer right away and I don't
have it for your employees. Great. Yes, he's a guns pizza.
I am on the way to his house. Yes, yes, Pizza,
I am Hello, Pizza, Pizza. I'm sorry, Pizza. Can you
(06:44):
speak up a little bit? I have my regio tons
just a little bit, Hello, Pizza, Pizza. I'm just I'm
waiting for you. I'm sorry to get the bluetools off
my redio, to get bus awful helcording my bottle. I'm
gonna I'm going to back. Hello. Hey, this is Pete
(07:12):
Eggins again from plumbing. I'm yeah, you know, I was driving,
was on the phone with me for about thirty checks.
He couldn't figure out this radio and his bluetooth woke out,
which wrong with the He's well, yeah, he called me
right after he hung up. I'm gonna transfer you right
back over to him so you can get him to
your house asap and get that water back and get
all your plumbing fixts. Okay, please hold one second. I'm
(07:32):
so sorry about that. Hello, pizza. Yes, oh no, this
is Bluetos is back. I cannot pizza AGNs, I cannot.
I cannot sew mule finn. I'm just having trouble to
get into Hold on one second, please, if you can
against if you can have it, do not hang up.
(07:53):
I'm just trying to get the Bluetos off my phone.
I'm sorry. I'm listening to the DEFs of music while
I'm driving to the playoffs. Okay, off three. I figured
it out. Yeah, it's not your thought. Oh I'm the
house you have an appointment at. My name is Ken.
Oh you're okay? Yes? Ken? Oh? Hello, my name is Heinrich.
When I am coming to fix your plumbings. No, you're
(08:14):
not here. Where are you? Okay? So I'm so sorry,
but I will be there very shortly. So I took
your wrong turn getting on the three ways, and so
I'm listening to my music a little bit, and then
I got down the road a little too far, and
now I have to figure out a way to get back. See,
I am new here, new employee, and I cannot seem
to find the address just yet, and so I went
too far. So I will be back to frutos back. Hey, lookay,
(08:37):
and I've turned the blue. Are you still there? Yes,
I'm still here. Okay, Now you have a smartphone, right,
you're a telephone. I'm speaking you right now. Yes, over, sorry,
and give you the right attraction. Make sure you have
the right address. Get you I have here right, well,
I have the address pulled up on the maps. What
address do you have? I have forty second straight yes, no, no, no,
(09:02):
the maps on the Googles, the Google maps. That is
going to be two and a half days. But I
think if I drive quickly and I done stage from here,
let is the mistake. I went the wrong I went
the wrong direction, and I was listening to my music,
and then a couple of days later I realized, oh no,
I am two states over, and so that is why
it is taking a long time. I appreciate this. If
you do not tell Peter agains On my boss that
(09:23):
I had actededly driven two stays over because I was
not paying. It will take me two days to get there,
but it will be there as quick as possible. Boss,
work now, okay. If you trun to you right, no,
oh no, my bluetoos is coming back on you. If
you can hear me, you know, living up the phone
trying to get my bluetoos off. And I hope if
you get it off, and I hope you one off
the voted. But in that case, I'll just let you know.
(09:46):
This is actually double from Jebel Show doing a phone
prank on't you and anybody time? He set you up?
Oh my god, it's a joke. He said that you
were literally at home right now waiting on plumbing people
who hadn't been there. Yeah, I'm two day. You wanted
me to call you right away. Oh, I swear if
(10:08):
I ever heard that song that you would do with
a duotoothing one. Yeah, he said, the song's addressing that one.
The Jewel Show on Demand. Welcome to the J and
N The Jewil News Network for Thursday, October twenty seventh,
twenty twenty two. This is J n N where if
(10:28):
you're hearing it on the J and N, you probably
saw it first on the Gram. I'm Jewel Fresh and
Thanksgiving Dinner might be canceled this year, and it's not
because of the Karens will tell you why in just
a second. But for your other stories today, I'm Alex
Fresh and a woman took her garbage out. I'm going
to read what her neighbor wrote to her. Coming up
in my story. Okay, hey, it's ben. It's a car
(10:48):
stolen in nineteen ninety two. It's been found three decades later,
and you won't believe where I was. I'll spill the
TM my story. I'm Christian Gray Snow. And you know
what something all of us have in common in here
is we're all poor blue ivy. That's coming up in
my story. All right, more on those in just a second,
but for your lead story today and the J and
N the Jewil News Network, the only news network where
credibility isn't really required at all. Thanksgiving dinner might be
(11:12):
canceled this year, so you might need to emotionally prepare
yourself for a Thanksgiving chicken or a nice vegetarian nutlows deliciously.
There's a big turkey shortage. Oh and they cost twice
as much as last year, so you might there might
not be turkey available for you. It sounds like Thanksgivings
off at our house. There's a few reasons. I guess
(11:33):
Turkey prices crashed in twenty nineteen. You guys remember the
big turkey price crash of twenty nineteen. Yes, then there
was pandemic and then inflation is making turkey more expensive. Also,
the Avian flu is worse than usual this year, so
lots of birds are getting sick, and you don't want
to sick turkey at your Thanksgiving table. So experts say
most people should be prepared to not have a turkey
(11:53):
this year. Wow, I don't really care. Turkey to me
is like it's like a side note. Honestly, just giving
me the two dollars and sixty cents a box of
stuffing from the grocery store. That, to me is like
a gorny meal. I'll eat that all day. Hi top, Yeah,
and make us just make a big thing of stuffing
in the shape of a turkey. That's all you need
to j N is almost done for the day because
we start. This is the Jewel News Network, the j
(12:14):
n N where we tell you news stories that we
got from CMZ and other low brown wedses. For our
next story, listened to Alex for him all right, you guys.
So a woman posted a note that she received on
her door from her neighbor because she took her garbage outside.
And the next day, she came home to a note
on her door saying, Hi, my husband can see you
on our rain camera. Please put pants on when you
(12:34):
take your trash out. Your neighbor what, Oh my god, Okay,
who's bad is that is? Why would you go outside
without pants on, head shorts on. I'd be like, whatever, man,
it's like, my neighbor wants to look at me naked,
go for a bro like that's the husband's bad for
checking out this, And I'm like, well, she might even
(12:56):
just be like assuming that her husband looks right to me,
It's like she doesn't. She might not even know her.
I would put on the nastiest leather to the trash
out every day, every morning, every night, making sure we
just still on trash every single night. Put the two
trash guns, one at the top of a pole, one
of the bottom of poles on a full start. All right,
(13:20):
this is the JNN, the Jewil News Network. When news breaks,
it was probably our fault and will sweep it up.
Our next story, Let's send it to Bennett. I am
in northern California, in the backyard of a fifteen million
dollar mansion were a convertible Mercedes Benz that was reportedly
stolen in September of nineteen ninety two. It was just
found buried five feet beneath the earth. Las. Yes, so
(13:43):
apparently the man who built the house, he was a
fugitive with a very very very long list of criminal offenses.
I can't even say them because we don't have enough time. Wow,
but he built the house. The owners of the house, now,
they were getting some landscaping, and then the people who
were landscaping, they came across the car, same burying stolen car.
That's the point of stealing up right, Hey, if you
had your car stal out there, you know how it is, right,
(14:05):
somebody steals your car and you're like, man, I'm never
going to see that thing again. There's no way that
you're canna find it. You never know, You never know, right,
you might find your camera thirty years from now. Never
get off. Well, the officials are trying to track down
the guy and they can't find him. So maybe he's
maybe he's not here. All right, Hello, that car is
not the only thing under the ground. This is have
(14:27):
they looked in the trunk? JNN the jubil News Network,
It's not your ordinary news network. As a matter of fact,
it's not really a news network. It's just us talking
about stuff we see online. Yeah, for the next story,
let's send it on over to Christian. Recently, an auction
slash charity event called the Wearable Art Gallo was going
down in Los Angeles where celebs galore were in attendance,
(14:48):
like anybody you can think of was there. At one point,
Kiki Palmer, who was hosting it, was on stage with
Tina Knowls, Beyonce's mom, and they were auctioning off a
pair of earrings. Right well, it was almost done, and
all of a sudden, you see somebody jump up for
an eighty thousand dollars submission for a pair of earrings.
And it was none other than ten year old Blue Eye.
Beyonce and jay Z's daughter stood up offered eighty thousand
dollars for the earrings. She is ten, like I said,
(15:09):
but unfortunately she was outbid. Someone outbid her. Also, can
you imagine outbidding Blue You will not see heaven? Like,
how dare you? I wonder if jay Z and Beyonce
would if they're interested in another kid or adopting I mean, yeah,
maybe they can adopt us all instead of eighty thousand
dollar allowance each. We'll do that collectively and we'll divide
it amongst all of us, jay Z, Beyonce. We'll save
y'all some money. If anybody knows jay Z and Beyonce,
(15:31):
please tell that what I want to be in the Illuminatien.
I know that they are the official people that can
get you in. So if you know how to like,
you can help introduce me to them so that I
can get my Illuminati card, that'd be great. Or if
they want to adopt us all so that we can
be we can spend their money. That yeah. Hit us
up at the Jewels Show. That's how you get ahold
of all of the reporters here at the chain, and
(15:51):
you can follow us on social media at the Jewels Show,
follow all of us individually. I'm at Jewel Fresh, I'm
at Bennett No, I'm at Christian Grace Snow then Jewels
Show on demand. It's time four of the Roses only
on the Jebel Show. Kevin is on the phone today
for to catch a cheater. He thinks that his girlfriend
Alicia might be cheating on him. It's not necessarily what
you might think. According to his email, Kevin, it sounds
(16:13):
like you got a very sticky situation on your hands
or one. Yeah. Um, I think my girlfriend of three
years cheating on me. Okay, so you guys been together
for three years, and why don't you think Alicia might
be stepping out? Well, a few months ago, Um, we
(16:35):
had like a three phone. Oh okay, that for the
first time. Yeah, I mean I actually always wanted one. Um,
and I've been begging Alicia, but she's always said no,
you know, she's strictly into just dudes. Oh so it
was with another woman. It was, yeah, with another woman.
I kept begging on it. She finally said okay, but
(16:55):
she said it's gonna be one and done and I
was like, okay, great, one and done. I just want
to do one, you know, just like when a fantasy.
I always said, okay. Um, I mean that I'm surprised
she even said yes if she wasn't into it. To
tell you the truth, she actually was digging it, um,
and we were. She's digging it. She like actually liked it. Yeah.
It was supposed to be one time playing and not like, uh,
(17:16):
you know, every other weekend kind of thing. And we
just wanted we didn't want to have like a throutball.
It wasn't a throat ball, all right, right, Okay, But
I found out that like on Instagram, that she's been,
you know, sending messages back and forth, and I want
to confronted her. She's like, she told me it wasn't
a big deal. It's just like, you know, they're just chatting, right,
(17:37):
And normally you think you go the other way around
if this was it was this situation, you'd be the
one who would be suspect the cheating because you're the
one who wanted to do it in the first place. Also,
another woman like, I'm surprised that you're in this situation.
Yeah right, yeah, no, I know that's what I was,
you know, confused about. So at the very least, she's
gone against what you guys said you were going to do. Yeah,
(17:57):
and we both agreed, like it wasn't like I said it,
she said, we both like condescend a great um. But
last week, like I came home on a lunch break
and guess who was there? What what? Yep, I'm guessing
it wasn't like the mailman and the package I ordered.
Alicia apologized, um, and she said she didn't tell me
because of I got mad about the Instagram chatting. So
(18:20):
was she hooking up with her at the time or
were they just kicking it? They were just like killing
in the kitchen. Oh my god, I mean that would
be also, that's ridiculous. You got mad at her for
the Instagram chatting, and so she doesn't tell you that
she's bringing her to your house and she didn't think
that you were going to be high. Hello No, and
they were having wine. Oh we know what happens after that,
(18:41):
like at like one one o'clock in the afternoon. Where's
that leading? Yeah? I mean, so this is why I
think she's cheating on me. You said that she said
that there was nothing going on. She didn't tell you.
I mean that conversation had to be a little bit heated.
I would imagine she told, well, the girl left. Obviously
(19:01):
we weren't fighting in front of the third Wheel. She left. Uh,
And then I I, yeah, I get at it. I said,
I thought that this is the one and done. Why
are you lying to me? And she just was like
she couldn't answer. She just said, it's not a big deal.
You overreact. We're just chatting. She's a new friend, you know.
I guess she didn't doesn't have any any friends or whatever.
(19:22):
She's just like looking for a new company. I guess right.
And I when she said new company to me like
that means sexual I got that as like new sexual company.
Do you think she's saying friend? If the situation was
switched around, do you think that she would react similar
or would she also say she was overreacting? She would
saw the wine in my face? Exactly. Yeah, so you
(19:45):
are not overreacting. That's something that manipulative people say in
order to minimize your emotions. Exactly. So obviously, at the
very least, do you think something's going on because it
sounds like it. I don't know. I mean maybe potentially
she just has a new friend and she wants to
be able to the friend, but still not going about
it in a very cool way. Either way. We'll call
her from the grocery store that she shops at and
(20:05):
do the usual. Will say that every single month, we
choose one Rewards Card member at random to call and
give flowers to deliver to anybody that they want in
the entire universe. We'll see if she sends those to
you or to this other woman. What's the other one's name?
By the way, Teresa, Teresa, Okay, well we'll plays. I'll
come back. It's ketch cheeter next right in the middle
of to catch a cheeter if you're just joining us.
(20:25):
Kevin thinks that his girlfriend of three years, Alicia, might
be seeing another woman, and it's another woman that Kevin knows.
Because Kevin and Alicia had a little bit of a
manage with a woman Kevin had always wanted to do it,
he begged his girlfriend. She said yes, even though she
didn't want to, and then she ended up liking it,
so they did it a couple of times. At a
certain point, Kevin and his girlfriend agreed they would cut
(20:46):
off contact not do it anymore. That was fun, but okay,
we're done with that. Alicia, though Kevin's girlfriend, has continued
to talk to the girl. Kevin even came home the
other day and she was actually at the house when
he didn't know she was going to be there. His
girlfriend said, oh, we're just friends now. I didn't want
to tell you because you got Max. I was talking
to her before on Instagram, so I didn't tell you
because I didn't want to idiot mad. But Kevin's pretty
(21:07):
sure something's going on, so We're about to call his girlfriend,
Alicia from the grocery storce she shops at and say that.
Every single month, we choose one rewards card member at
random who wins free flower delivery from our floral department,
and we'll see if Alicia gives us Kevin's name to
send the flowers to, or if she gives us someone else's.
The other woman's name is Teresa. By the way, all right, Kevin,
you're ready for me to call her? Yes, all right,
here we go. Hello. Hi, my name is Jorban calling
(21:35):
from and I'm looking for a rewards card member named Alicia.
Oh yeah, that's me, Hi, Alicia, Congratulations here this month's winter. Yay.
Everybody's really excited. You guys, get in the office. Get
a clap here. I'm on the phone with the winner.
Thank you. Yeah, every's excited, you hear, I'm yeah, thank you.
Where did I win? Oh? I guess you haven't heard. No. Oh,
(21:58):
it's really exciting. Every single we choose one rewards card
member at random to call and say thank you for
shopping with us by giving you free flower delivery from
our Florida department, and you won thirty six long stem
red roses delivered anywhere in the United States. There is
a fee for international if you want to do that,
and you can send them anywhere. It's beautiful. It's actually
at ninety eight dollar value. So congratulations, Oh thank you,
(22:19):
thank you for shopping with us. All I would need
from you to get is just a little information. I'm sorry,
I'm really tongue tied here. I would just need to
get some information from you. Okay, you send out and
here's the thing. I can call you back because if
you don't know who you want to send them to
right now, I can send you an email and you
can fill out a form, but that form takes a
really long time to fill out, and after you do that,
you're going to be hit with a bunch of marketing
(22:39):
and spam emails and text and I don't think you
want that. They also don't want me to tell people this.
But I will call you back if you don't know
who you want to send them to, so you can
get the infot together and you don't have to deal
with all that unless you want to do that. No, No,
I'm definitely don't want the marketing stuff. But you do
it now. Most people don't, do you all you have
the information, now, who you'd like to send them to? Yeah? Great, okay,
So thirty six long stem red rod as it comes
(23:00):
with a card too. You can put whatever you want
on the card. Um. And we have cards for all occasions.
So if it's uh, you know, birthday or anything like that,
you can you can choose a card for that and
put whatever you want on it. So first this we'll
start with the name, then first and last name of
the person you want to send them to. Sure, um,
let's do Teresa, okay, okay, And and I guess the
(23:26):
note can just say, um, thank you for adding me
to your team, exclamation mark, Oh that's fun to work situation,
new jobs, something like that, um, kind of um. And
then and then I've never felt more like myself. Oh
that's even that's fun. That's great. Thank you for that information.
(23:50):
I also just need to tell you something real quick
before we move on. And I get the address and
get these delivered for you. Sure this isn't actually the
grocery store. This is Jewil from the Jewil Show. It's
a radio show. This is Christian, and this is Bennett,
and this is Alex and you're cheating. Hi. This is Kevin. Yeah,
your boyfriend Kevin is on the phone listening. At least
you would do a segment on the show called to
(24:10):
Catch a Cheater. If somebody thinks they're significant others cheating
on them. They asked us to try to catch them
by seeing who they send flowers to. And that's what
just happened. Okay, Alicia, are you I thought this was
like a one and duneon. That's what we agreed on.
You why to catch it? Her on Instagram? She comes
to the house when I'm at home. You're drinking wine.
Now you're sending her flowers? Like, what is going on?
Are you? Am I your boyfriend? Or is she your girlfriend?
(24:33):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry for lying to you. I the threestome.
I just have discovered I'm more into women than I
initially thought. I don't, I don't know, I know. I'm
so sorry. I'm so sorry for breaking your tracks. I
did hook up with Teresa, but I could never see
myself without you. Wait wait, wait, wait wait? Did you
(24:55):
actually you you walked up with her without me? Like
I wasn't there? You hooked up one on one? Yeah,
well it's sounds like you did, but it's not cheating
because it's with a girl. Girl, if you're naked and
you're rubbing into each other and it's cheat and you're lied,
how many times did you lie to me? At least five? Yeah?
How is he giving a little? No, you're right. I
(25:17):
think you're saying relationship. This is the only time. How
many times have you hooked up with her? She's counting.
I don't know what do you consider hooked up? Oh
my god, girl, Oh my god, I cannot believe you
just said that. Oh man, So it's been obviously been
a lot. Then you don't know about Kevin. I really
am into Theresa. I don't know what. I don't know
what to do. I'm not gonna be sitting in the corner. Why,
(25:41):
like when you guys are hooking up, Like, that's not
how I operate. I wanted up with both of them. Yeah,
you can be doing all the time friends. There's the
thing that you wanted to have. Yeah. The reason why
I see something because I didn't think she was into girls.
Like if I'm competing with this girl, yeah, how do
you think I'm gonna get turned on? Yeah? I'm not
doing it. So does that mean you're done? Then? If
you see this girl, talk to this girl, bring her
(26:03):
over the house. If you communicate with this girl, I
am gone. So you could either be with me or
be at heart and you better not ever lie to
me again about it. Well we're done, So you're actually
giving her a shot, I am, but her silence is
telling me a lot. Yeah, No, I have to think
about She also says she's still figuring it out. So okay,
(26:25):
I have an idea. I have an idea, Alicia. How
about you go figure it out without me because I
don't want to see you. I mean, he'll figure it out. Yeah,
I mean I would do that. I'm I guess, and
it's not fair on his end to stick around. She's
trying to figure herself out. This is so hard, Like
I don't want to lose you, but I just I'm
(26:46):
not sure what to do. Can we talk about this
like later today, like not with other people listening me?
It doesn't matter who's listening anymore. Date me only or
figure yourself out, And once you figure yourself out, I
might not be here for you. You're grown adults that
you wanted to be bisexual or lesbian or whatever. I
(27:06):
don't care. Just choose that but just don't put me
to the sideline. Don't I deserve better. I don't cheat,
I don't lie about it. That's my issue. Maybe I'll
be around, maybe I won't. I don't know what to say.
I mean, I want to say yes I want to
be with you, but I need to also I don't
want to lie to you again. And I alway don't
know what you want on You just told such a
crazy time. I just told you if you wanted to
(27:28):
view with me, you she's just say, yes, we've been
together for three years. You've been with this girl? What
three months? Like three years? You've thrown away three years,
three years of my time. I waited three years. Okay,
can you just give me till the end of the
weekend so I can be freed? You got an appointment? Yeah,
she said, I gotta go one more time to make sure.
(27:50):
I'll give you this Saturday. Oh, the Jewels Show on demand,
jebils dirty little Secret? Hello, Hey, what's up? This is
(28:11):
a jewel show? And you texted us at four one
o six one saying that you have a dirty little secret.
Don't say your name because you need to remain anonymous.
But how are you? And we want to know what
your dirty little secret is? Do you have time to
tell us whoever you are? Yeah, I'm okay, all right,
And would you like to tell your dirty little secret
right now? Or do we need to call you back? No,
this is fine, okay, perfect, hit us with it, We're ready, Okay.
(28:32):
In fifth grade, I kind of had my own business
going on, and you got your own business in fifth grade.
Some people will call you an entrepreneur. Yeah, okay, what
was your Yeah, I feel like, if it's a dirty
little secret, this business is not very up and up. No,
(28:53):
it was the opposite of that. I found my dad's
Dash four and basically Playboy and that kind of so
I figured I could get good money for this, so
I wouldn't you Yeah, like one fifth grade? Did you
say fifth grade? Did you say fifth grade? Yeah? My
(29:17):
son is in fifth grade and you and I have
four Okay, this is crazy. So when I was in
fifth grade, I didn't find any from my dad, but
there was some somebody. It's like, I'm probably an older
brother of somebody somewhere. There was on the playground. I
sold pages from that too to a couple of my friends.
God yeah, for like a dollar, and I kept the
ones on rivals. I would have had to take you
(29:39):
out competition. That's crazy. I didn't know that. That's definitely
a business that goes on in fifth grade. Then wow,
I wondered if my dad do because eventually the magazines disappeared. Seriously,
he probably wanted to look for him. One day. I
was like, yeah, where they go? Because he's hold on,
(30:01):
you're giving me away. Your dad's a long time. Yeah,
you had, you had a stream of revenue that kept
coming in. I just found someone on the playground, and
I kept most of it myself. Honestly, I got high
off my own supply. I did sell a couple of
pages to a few friends of mine. What do you
do for work now? A similar type of worker. I'm
(30:21):
a copywriter actually, so kind of well, thanks for telling
us secret. That's funny, all right, let's get another one.
Was your dirty little secret? So just to like mess
with my mom a little bit, I've been driving by
her house basically every day after work and taking her mail.
(30:41):
And I feel like old people are obsessed with the mail.
So she is freaking out that she hasn't gotten her mail.
So I think I've pushed it far enough without her
realizing it's me. So I'm going to tell her today
that it was me, just you know, joking with her.
But yeah, I've taken it for the last two weeks.
Oh my god, weeks through it Isn't that like you
(31:04):
can't like take people's me I think it's a federal
related you're related. I feel like it's kind of my
mail too. That's okay. You know that your mom will
turn you into the fens, hopefully not or all just
taking it and then she won't know what if what
if she got like an important piece of mail, like
(31:25):
it was urgent. I looked through it, there was nothing important.
Did you open it? Yeah? No, I didn't open it,
but I can tell it's nothing. That's it was like
from the irs. You're like, Mom, I've been taking up
your mail two weeks. Yeah. Do you guys mess with
each other a lot like that or something sometimes? But
(31:46):
I felt like she was, you know, a little sounds
like it sounds like she deserved it, and you're telling
her today that you've been doing it for two weeks. Yeah,
I mean, I'm going to tell her today. We'll see
how that comes. If she does call the on you
and you have to go to prison because even stealing mail,
you can use one of your phone calls for us. Okay,
perfect back, all right, thanks secret, thank you. The Jewel
(32:10):
Show on demand. I don't know who needs to hear this,
but don't serve people row fresh fries. Hold on one second.
Chante is fired up, obviously, so I don't know who
needs to hear this. It's the Jewel Show where we
say I don't know who needs to hear this, and
then we put a big butt on it and tell
the universe exactly what we think people should hear. And
(32:32):
Chante is fired up right now because Chante thinks that
people should not be serving raw French fries or raw anything. Chante,
it sounds like there's more to it than just saying
that go ahead. So I missed the drive through, and
you know, I miss the chicken place, and I'm waiting
on the French fries. So the fresh fries and chicken
finally come and I'm like, yeah, this is gonna be awesome.
(32:53):
And then so I bite into my French life. I
like to eat everything separately, so I don't I like
to try to mix the match I'm wanting separately. So
in there and are starting in the French es and
they're wrong. Ra Though, yeah, Rach, how does it even happen?
I don't even know. Did you complain? No idea? I'm like, yes,
(33:14):
I complained. I didn't go anywhere like that. The lady
was like, can I help you? I was right, yeah,
I need what do you mean you need some new words?
We forgot to give you some. I know these friends
fries are wrong and yeah, that's what happened. Well, I'm
sorry for your lost Jane. That's disgusting though. If they're soft,
(33:35):
doe eat, they don't even doe eat, Jane. This is
my hack right here to get fresh fries every time.
Ask for no salt on your fries and they'll have
to make you fresh fries. But that doesn't actually mean
that they're going to be fully done. So never mind, Jante,
thank you for you. I don't know who needs to
hear this, but call us up eight to eight three
four three one six one text in four one or
(33:55):
six one. It's I don't know who needs to hear this,
but where we say that and then say butt and
then tell everybody what we think they should hear. Alex,
what do you think the world needs to hear today.
I don't know who needs to hear this. But purple
is the best color. Okay, I would agree with that.
Bennet shook his head. You don't think so, girl. I
knew you were going to come from me. Red is
the best color because red is the most attractive color
(34:18):
to the eye. It pops out more than any other color. So,
and that's science. That's fast. I mean, that's cool. But
the best color, Jubil, Did you ask what my favorite
color was when you first started dating or did I
ask you first? Because I remember I said my purple?
What's yours? I think you said that, and then I
said mine's purple as well, kind of like you're lying, yeah,
And I was like, no, I promise, I'm not lying.
I'm not just telling you that to get you into bed.
(34:39):
I said that I'm wearing this red shirt to get
you into bed. My favorite color is purple. Yeah, calls
up y eight three four three one six one text
and four one o six one? What's your I don't
know who needs to hear this, butt Bennett, I don't
know who needs to hear this. But if you fly
Delta and you drink Starbucks every day, you can now
link your account so you could get like free sky miles.
(35:01):
So hey, go Starbucks from Starbucks. So every dollar you
spend out Starbucks, you get one sky mile towards Delta.
And get this if you sign up before December thirty.
First you get one hundred and fifty stars on your Starbucks,
which is like free lunch okay, and you get five
hundred sky miles. Yeah. I was about to say which
company are you working for? Back, I'm just like Pa
(35:29):
call us up eight at eight three three one six
one text in four one six one. I don't know
who needs to hear this? But where we say I
don't know who needs to hear this and then say
butt and tell people exactly what we think they should hear. Victoria,
I don't know who you need to hear this. But
Selena gomez Is new documentary is coming out of Number
fourth and I'm so excited for it, So everyone should
go watch it on Apple TV plus. What are you
most excited about? And Selena gomez Is new documentary? What
(35:50):
part of her life are you most excited to learn about?
It sends like that good. It goes back like it's
a multiple like she's been shooting it for like multiple years,
and it takes the viewers like back into see like
some of like the biggest times like in her life
and no, like going through like her mental health journey,
(36:11):
which I think is really important, and like she talks
about it a lot, and so we kind of see
like her go through it and her going through like
when she was doing like her lupus, dealing with that lupus.
I didn't know that. Holy crush. I think I want
to watch the documentary now that Yeah calls up at
eight three three one six one. Text in four one
six one it's I don't know who needs to hear this,
(36:32):
but it's producer brad Um. I got one. I don't
know who's to hear this, but you are not her
only fan. She's not going to hang out with you.
That's for all the people that are on only Fans,
hoping that they can actually meet the person that they
signed up to be a fan of. Maybe they'll fall
in love with one of those fans. Fans become favorites, Right,
(36:52):
do you have an Only Fans too where you discuss
skelt the sky miles and Starbucks in your underwear? If
you're gonna pack and subscribe winking my bio back. It
calls up eighty eight three four three one six one
text in four one oh six one. I don't know
who needs to hear this, but holy crap, scientists have
(37:12):
made a brain that can play video games. Yes, I
read this story and I've been freaking out about it
ever since I read it, which proves that machines are
almost about to take over the world. Scientists have literally
made a tiny brain. It's called a tiny brain. They
made it out of cells themselves, and it plays the
video game Pong, which was one of the first video
games ever made. They plugged it in and it plays
a video game. They made a little brain that plays
(37:34):
video games on its own. I thought pac Man was
one of the first video games ever made. Pong is
not as hard as pac Man, but I want you
to focus on They made a brain out of thinner
that plays and thinks for itself. Call us up eighty
eight three four three one six one. Text in four
one oh six one. What's your I don't know who
needs to hear this, but the Jewel Show on Demand
Then Jebil Show on demand. A lot of people feel
the same about their morning routine, said Jewil Show. And
a lot of people feel like waking up or driving
in traffic is something they shouldn't have to do in
the morning. I agree, calls up right out eight to eight,
three four three one oh six one eight eight eight
three four three one oh six one, because it's time
(00:20):
four Ridiculous Internet Questions. It's the most exciting game show
in the universe. Today ridiculous Internet questions where we ask
you the topic that everybody's talking about on the dot
com today. Call us up eight eight eight three four
three one oh six one eight eight eight three four
three one oh six one. You can also text us
at four one oh six one, said jew Bile Show.
If you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine,
(00:43):
what would it be and why? That is today's ridiculous
Internet question. A lot of texts coming in at four
one oh six one. Let's say they would eliminate waking
up in their morning commute. Another one that says hygiene.
I would save so much more time if I never
had to shower or brush my teeth. I think you
can eliminate that I think there are some people that
do popular around the office, but there are some people that, definitely,
(01:04):
I think, eliminate that from their daily routine. Calls up
eight eight three four three one oh six one eight
eight eight three four three one oh six one. If
you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what
would it be and why? Bennett? If I had to
delete something from my day, it would definitely be cooking dinner.
I love to eat. I'm here for it. I'll anything,
but I don't like cooking it because it's tedious, it
takes time, and honestly, fifty percent of the time, I'm
(01:27):
not good at it. It's like, if you could eliminate
one thing from your daily routine, you would eliminate making dinner. Yeah, cooking, Like,
let's just skip to the eating. Got you. Somebody tecks
it in at four one o six one and says
they would eliminate getting dressed from their daily routine if
they could. Okay, I think there are people that do
that too. Called a nudist column. Yeah, you could go
live there. It's just the people that are usually there
are people you don't want to see nude. Yeah, calls
(01:48):
up it at eight, three, four, three, one six one
text and four on oh six one. If you could
eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it
be and why? Alex Well Bennett says, cooking at day cleaning. Oh,
I thought you like to clean. You like to vacuum?
I mean it just six time. Yeah, I mean I
do like to vacuum that house my allergies, but otherwise
I don't like to I don't like to clean at all. Okay,
got you. I don't know why I thought you like
enjoyed the act of vacuum. Maybe I'm gonna scrub the
(02:09):
countertops because I just feel like scrub in a countertop. Never,
that's always nice, right. I'm gonna find a music that
I used to party two yeah, when I was younger,
and I'm gonna put that on while I clean now
because I'm old. Yes, that's what that feeling is. Text
in four one to six one. If you could eliminate
one thing from your daily routine, what would it be?
Ny Christian? If I could eliminate one thing for my
daily routine. I love my sweet girl Abbey, but the
(02:31):
one thing that I would eliminate from my daily routine
is taking her to potty because I live like in
a high rise, you know, and just it just takes
her little legs don't move fast. So from the time
we walk from my apartment to the elevator and the
elevator to outside, Like, I would give anything if I
just had like a sliding glass door, I could just
open and be good to do your thing and come
on in when you're done. Why can't you hanger off
the balcony. I don't have a balcony. That's what happens
(02:53):
when you live in a three hundred square foot box.
Eight three four three one to six one text in
foe to six one. If you could eliminate one thing
from your daily routine, what would it be and why?
Someone said they would eliminate pooping because it takes too
much time and it's gross. I'm with you on that one.
Like I've digestive issues. It's really annoying. So I would
(03:13):
eliminate eating as well, because that leads to the other thing.
I'm in a very abusive cycle with food and pooping,
and I don't like it very much, So I would
eliminate that from my daily routine. That was disgusting, I know,
But who cares? Six one eight eight three four three
one o six one Victoria. If you could eliminate one
thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why?
(03:33):
Probably washing dishes? Like they have a dishwasher that you
can easily put them in, but when that gets full,
and then you have to take him out, like replates him.
I sound lazy, but everybody just doesn't want to do
chores or go to the bathroom. We don't want to
be adults, right. My only goal in life is to
be so successful that I have other people to do
that stuff for me. Right, to me, that's the only
(03:55):
reason to be successful and have money. Who cares about cars?
Who cares about any of that. I just don't want
to have to do chores anymore. Right, because you had
to do them as a kid, because your parents made
you because they didn't get successful to have people do
it for him, so they got you to do it
for him. Right, don't do the same thing to your kids.
You get enough money so you can hire any Also,
if anybody wants to an assistant, hit us up because
I love that right now, call up it at eight
(04:16):
three four three one six one text and four one
to six one. If you could eliminate one thing from
your daily routine? What would it be? And why? Hello?
Who's this Justin? Nice to meet you, Justin. Well, if
you could eliminate one thing for your daily routine, what
would it be? And why? Laundry? Because folding it is
repetitive and annoying. Yeah, good point, it really is. Have
you ever gone to a fluff and fold? They cost money,
(04:37):
but they're amazing. Oh Harley, to check it out. Do
you know what that is? I have no idea. Okay, well,
I'll tell you fluff and fold. So if you're driving
around and you see, like you know, there's those massage
powers with the windows all blacked out and they're open
at like two o'clock in the morning, and you don't
know why that's not a fluff and fold, But I
(05:00):
I'll tell you to go to one of those. It's
that laundry mats. Laundery marats have places in the back
where you go and they pay per pound. They'll do
your laundry. They'll do it for you and fold it
for you. It's a little bit more expensive, but if
you don't take a ton at a time for like
twenty five bucks, you can have your laundry fluffed and folded,
(05:20):
and it'll give you more time to go to that
other place I was talking about. Oh god, the Jewil
Show on demand. It's another Jewbil phone frame day mornings, twenties. Hello, Hey,
(05:41):
can This is Pete Eakins and I'm calling from plumbing
and I'm sure you're already a little bit frizzled, Yeah,
a little little What story story is? I know that
we we said we're gonna show up two days in
a row, and we haven't shown up, and you're the
tech that's coming out there to work. I know that
part of the story. Well, it's been two days. I
(06:01):
had no morders here. I called you guys two days
in a row, told me you were going to be here.
You didn't show up. Now I want you to be
here now. Now i'm finding out you're going to be late.
When are you getting here? If you don't have an
answer for me, yeah, I don't want to talk you
all right? Okay? Well, Well here's what I'm gonna do,
because I am very concerned about this. We take our
job very serious here Plumbing in I'm gonna transfer you
to the driver. He might be lost. He's a new employee.
(06:22):
But he's really good. His name is Heinrich, and you
can ask him directly where he's at, because I want
you to get an answer right away and I don't
have it for your employees. Great. Yes, he's a guns pizza.
I am on the way to his house. Yes, yes, Pizza,
I am Hello, Pizza, Pizza. I'm sorry, Pizza. Can you
(06:44):
speak up a little bit? I have my regio tons
just a little bit, Hello, Pizza, Pizza. I'm just I'm
waiting for you. I'm sorry to get the bluetools off
my redio, to get bus awful helcording my bottle. I'm
gonna I'm going to back. Hello. Hey, this is Pete
(07:12):
Eggins again from plumbing. I'm yeah, you know, I was driving,
was on the phone with me for about thirty checks.
He couldn't figure out this radio and his bluetooth woke out,
which wrong with the He's well, yeah, he called me
right after he hung up. I'm gonna transfer you right
back over to him so you can get him to
your house asap and get that water back and get
all your plumbing fixts. Okay, please hold one second. I'm
(07:32):
so sorry about that. Hello, pizza. Yes, oh no, this
is Bluetos is back. I cannot pizza AGNs, I cannot.
I cannot sew mule finn. I'm just having trouble to
get into Hold on one second, please, if you can
against if you can have it, do not hang up.
(07:53):
I'm just trying to get the Bluetos off my phone.
I'm sorry. I'm listening to the DEFs of music while
I'm driving to the playoffs. Okay, off three. I figured
it out. Yeah, it's not your thought. Oh I'm the
house you have an appointment at. My name is Ken.
Oh you're okay? Yes? Ken? Oh? Hello, my name is Heinrich.
When I am coming to fix your plumbings. No, you're
(08:14):
not here. Where are you? Okay? So I'm so sorry,
but I will be there very shortly. So I took
your wrong turn getting on the three ways, and so
I'm listening to my music a little bit, and then
I got down the road a little too far, and
now I have to figure out a way to get back. See,
I am new here, new employee, and I cannot seem
to find the address just yet, and so I went
too far. So I will be back to frutos back. Hey, lookay,
(08:37):
and I've turned the blue. Are you still there? Yes,
I'm still here. Okay, Now you have a smartphone, right,
you're a telephone. I'm speaking you right now. Yes, over, sorry,
and give you the right attraction. Make sure you have
the right address. Get you I have here right, well,
I have the address pulled up on the maps. What
address do you have? I have forty second straight yes, no, no, no,
(09:02):
the maps on the Googles, the Google maps. That is
going to be two and a half days. But I
think if I drive quickly and I done stage from here,
let is the mistake. I went the wrong I went
the wrong direction, and I was listening to my music,
and then a couple of days later I realized, oh no,
I am two states over, and so that is why
it is taking a long time. I appreciate this. If
you do not tell Peter agains On my boss that
(09:23):
I had actededly driven two stays over because I was
not paying. It will take me two days to get there,
but it will be there as quick as possible. Boss,
work now, okay. If you trun to you right, no,
oh no, my bluetoos is coming back on you. If
you can hear me, you know, living up the phone
trying to get my bluetoos off. And I hope if
you get it off, and I hope you one off
the voted. But in that case, I'll just let you know.
(09:46):
This is actually double from Jebel Show doing a phone
prank on't you and anybody time? He set you up?
Oh my god, it's a joke. He said that you
were literally at home right now waiting on plumbing people
who hadn't been there. Yeah, I'm two day. You wanted
me to call you right away. Oh, I swear if
(10:08):
I ever heard that song that you would do with
a duotoothing one. Yeah, he said, the song's addressing that one.
The Jewel Show on Demand. Welcome to the J and
N The Jewil News Network for Thursday, October twenty seventh,
twenty twenty two. This is J n N where if
(10:28):
you're hearing it on the J and N, you probably
saw it first on the Gram. I'm Jewel Fresh and
Thanksgiving Dinner might be canceled this year, and it's not
because of the Karens will tell you why in just
a second. But for your other stories today, I'm Alex
Fresh and a woman took her garbage out. I'm going
to read what her neighbor wrote to her. Coming up
in my story. Okay, hey, it's ben. It's a car
(10:48):
stolen in nineteen ninety two. It's been found three decades later,
and you won't believe where I was. I'll spill the
TM my story. I'm Christian Gray Snow. And you know
what something all of us have in common in here
is we're all poor blue ivy. That's coming up in
my story. All right, more on those in just a second,
but for your lead story today and the J and
N the Jewil News Network, the only news network where
credibility isn't really required at all. Thanksgiving dinner might be
(11:12):
canceled this year, so you might need to emotionally prepare
yourself for a Thanksgiving chicken or a nice vegetarian nutlows deliciously.
There's a big turkey shortage. Oh and they cost twice
as much as last year, so you might there might
not be turkey available for you. It sounds like Thanksgivings
off at our house. There's a few reasons. I guess
(11:33):
Turkey prices crashed in twenty nineteen. You guys remember the
big turkey price crash of twenty nineteen. Yes, then there
was pandemic and then inflation is making turkey more expensive. Also,
the Avian flu is worse than usual this year, so
lots of birds are getting sick, and you don't want
to sick turkey at your Thanksgiving table. So experts say
most people should be prepared to not have a turkey
(11:53):
this year. Wow, I don't really care. Turkey to me
is like it's like a side note. Honestly, just giving
me the two dollars and sixty cents a box of
stuffing from the grocery store. That, to me is like
a gorny meal. I'll eat that all day. Hi top, Yeah,
and make us just make a big thing of stuffing
in the shape of a turkey. That's all you need
to j N is almost done for the day because
we start. This is the Jewel News Network, the j
(12:14):
n N where we tell you news stories that we
got from CMZ and other low brown wedses. For our
next story, listened to Alex for him all right, you guys.
So a woman posted a note that she received on
her door from her neighbor because she took her garbage outside.
And the next day, she came home to a note
on her door saying, Hi, my husband can see you
on our rain camera. Please put pants on when you
(12:34):
take your trash out. Your neighbor what, Oh my god, Okay,
who's bad is that is? Why would you go outside
without pants on, head shorts on. I'd be like, whatever, man,
it's like, my neighbor wants to look at me naked,
go for a bro like that's the husband's bad for
checking out this, And I'm like, well, she might even
(12:56):
just be like assuming that her husband looks right to me,
It's like she doesn't. She might not even know her.
I would put on the nastiest leather to the trash
out every day, every morning, every night, making sure we
just still on trash every single night. Put the two
trash guns, one at the top of a pole, one
of the bottom of poles on a full start. All right,
(13:20):
this is the JNN, the Jewil News Network. When news breaks,
it was probably our fault and will sweep it up.
Our next story, Let's send it to Bennett. I am
in northern California, in the backyard of a fifteen million
dollar mansion were a convertible Mercedes Benz that was reportedly
stolen in September of nineteen ninety two. It was just
found buried five feet beneath the earth. Las. Yes, so
(13:43):
apparently the man who built the house, he was a
fugitive with a very very very long list of criminal offenses.
I can't even say them because we don't have enough time. Wow,
but he built the house. The owners of the house, now,
they were getting some landscaping, and then the people who
were landscaping, they came across the car, same burying stolen car.
That's the point of stealing up right, Hey, if you
had your car stal out there, you know how it is, right,
(14:05):
somebody steals your car and you're like, man, I'm never
going to see that thing again. There's no way that
you're canna find it. You never know, You never know, right,
you might find your camera thirty years from now. Never
get off. Well, the officials are trying to track down
the guy and they can't find him. So maybe he's
maybe he's not here. All right, Hello, that car is
not the only thing under the ground. This is have
(14:27):
they looked in the trunk? JNN the jubil News Network,
It's not your ordinary news network. As a matter of fact,
it's not really a news network. It's just us talking
about stuff we see online. Yeah, for the next story,
let's send it on over to Christian. Recently, an auction
slash charity event called the Wearable Art Gallo was going
down in Los Angeles where celebs galore were in attendance,
(14:48):
like anybody you can think of was there. At one point,
Kiki Palmer, who was hosting it, was on stage with
Tina Knowls, Beyonce's mom, and they were auctioning off a
pair of earrings. Right well, it was almost done, and
all of a sudden, you see somebody jump up for
an eighty thousand dollars submission for a pair of earrings.
And it was none other than ten year old Blue Eye.
Beyonce and jay Z's daughter stood up offered eighty thousand
dollars for the earrings. She is ten, like I said,
(15:09):
but unfortunately she was outbid. Someone outbid her. Also, can
you imagine outbidding Blue You will not see heaven? Like,
how dare you? I wonder if jay Z and Beyonce
would if they're interested in another kid or adopting I mean, yeah,
maybe they can adopt us all instead of eighty thousand
dollar allowance each. We'll do that collectively and we'll divide
it amongst all of us, jay Z, Beyonce. We'll save
y'all some money. If anybody knows jay Z and Beyonce,
(15:31):
please tell that what I want to be in the Illuminatien.
I know that they are the official people that can
get you in. So if you know how to like,
you can help introduce me to them so that I
can get my Illuminati card, that'd be great. Or if
they want to adopt us all so that we can
be we can spend their money. That yeah. Hit us
up at the Jewels Show. That's how you get ahold
of all of the reporters here at the chain, and
(15:51):
you can follow us on social media at the Jewels Show,
follow all of us individually. I'm at Jewel Fresh, I'm
at Bennett No, I'm at Christian Grace Snow then Jewels
Show on demand. It's time four of the Roses only
on the Jebel Show. Kevin is on the phone today
for to catch a cheater. He thinks that his girlfriend
Alicia might be cheating on him. It's not necessarily what
you might think. According to his email, Kevin, it sounds
(16:13):
like you got a very sticky situation on your hands
or one. Yeah. Um, I think my girlfriend of three
years cheating on me. Okay, so you guys been together
for three years, and why don't you think Alicia might
be stepping out? Well, a few months ago, Um, we
(16:35):
had like a three phone. Oh okay, that for the
first time. Yeah, I mean I actually always wanted one. Um,
and I've been begging Alicia, but she's always said no,
you know, she's strictly into just dudes. Oh so it
was with another woman. It was, yeah, with another woman.
I kept begging on it. She finally said okay, but
(16:55):
she said it's gonna be one and done and I
was like, okay, great, one and done. I just want
to do one, you know, just like when a fantasy.
I always said, okay. Um, I mean that I'm surprised
she even said yes if she wasn't into it. To
tell you the truth, she actually was digging it, um,
and we were. She's digging it. She like actually liked it. Yeah.
It was supposed to be one time playing and not like, uh,
(17:16):
you know, every other weekend kind of thing. And we
just wanted we didn't want to have like a throutball.
It wasn't a throat ball, all right, right, Okay, But
I found out that like on Instagram, that she's been,
you know, sending messages back and forth, and I want
to confronted her. She's like, she told me it wasn't
a big deal. It's just like, you know, they're just chatting, right,
(17:37):
And normally you think you go the other way around
if this was it was this situation, you'd be the
one who would be suspect the cheating because you're the
one who wanted to do it in the first place. Also,
another woman like, I'm surprised that you're in this situation.
Yeah right, yeah, no, I know that's what I was,
you know, confused about. So at the very least, she's
gone against what you guys said you were going to do. Yeah,
(17:57):
and we both agreed, like it wasn't like I said it,
she said, we both like condescend a great um. But
last week, like I came home on a lunch break
and guess who was there? What what? Yep, I'm guessing
it wasn't like the mailman and the package I ordered.
Alicia apologized, um, and she said she didn't tell me
because of I got mad about the Instagram chatting. So
(18:20):
was she hooking up with her at the time or
were they just kicking it? They were just like killing
in the kitchen. Oh my god, I mean that would
be also, that's ridiculous. You got mad at her for
the Instagram chatting, and so she doesn't tell you that
she's bringing her to your house and she didn't think
that you were going to be high. Hello No, and
they were having wine. Oh we know what happens after that,
(18:41):
like at like one one o'clock in the afternoon. Where's
that leading? Yeah? I mean, so this is why I
think she's cheating on me. You said that she said
that there was nothing going on. She didn't tell you.
I mean that conversation had to be a little bit heated.
I would imagine she told, well, the girl left. Obviously
(19:01):
we weren't fighting in front of the third Wheel. She left. Uh,
And then I I, yeah, I get at it. I said,
I thought that this is the one and done. Why
are you lying to me? And she just was like
she couldn't answer. She just said, it's not a big deal.
You overreact. We're just chatting. She's a new friend, you know.
I guess she didn't doesn't have any any friends or whatever.
(19:22):
She's just like looking for a new company. I guess right.
And I when she said new company to me like
that means sexual I got that as like new sexual company.
Do you think she's saying friend? If the situation was
switched around, do you think that she would react similar
or would she also say she was overreacting? She would
saw the wine in my face? Exactly. Yeah, so you
(19:45):
are not overreacting. That's something that manipulative people say in
order to minimize your emotions. Exactly. So obviously, at the
very least, do you think something's going on because it
sounds like it. I don't know. I mean maybe potentially
she just has a new friend and she wants to
be able to the friend, but still not going about
it in a very cool way. Either way. We'll call
her from the grocery store that she shops at and
(20:05):
do the usual. Will say that every single month, we
choose one Rewards Card member at random to call and
give flowers to deliver to anybody that they want in
the entire universe. We'll see if she sends those to
you or to this other woman. What's the other one's name?
By the way, Teresa, Teresa, Okay, well we'll plays. I'll
come back. It's ketch cheeter next right in the middle
of to catch a cheeter if you're just joining us.
(20:25):
Kevin thinks that his girlfriend of three years, Alicia, might
be seeing another woman, and it's another woman that Kevin knows.
Because Kevin and Alicia had a little bit of a
manage with a woman Kevin had always wanted to do it,
he begged his girlfriend. She said yes, even though she
didn't want to, and then she ended up liking it,
so they did it a couple of times. At a
certain point, Kevin and his girlfriend agreed they would cut
(20:46):
off contact not do it anymore. That was fun, but okay,
we're done with that. Alicia, though Kevin's girlfriend, has continued
to talk to the girl. Kevin even came home the
other day and she was actually at the house when
he didn't know she was going to be there. His
girlfriend said, oh, we're just friends now. I didn't want
to tell you because you got Max. I was talking
to her before on Instagram, so I didn't tell you
because I didn't want to idiot mad. But Kevin's pretty
(21:07):
sure something's going on, so We're about to call his girlfriend,
Alicia from the grocery storce she shops at and say that.
Every single month, we choose one rewards card member at
random who wins free flower delivery from our floral department,
and we'll see if Alicia gives us Kevin's name to
send the flowers to, or if she gives us someone else's.
The other woman's name is Teresa. By the way, all right, Kevin,
you're ready for me to call her? Yes, all right,
here we go. Hello. Hi, my name is Jorban calling
(21:35):
from and I'm looking for a rewards card member named Alicia.
Oh yeah, that's me, Hi, Alicia, Congratulations here this month's winter. Yay.
Everybody's really excited. You guys, get in the office. Get
a clap here. I'm on the phone with the winner.
Thank you. Yeah, every's excited, you hear, I'm yeah, thank you.
Where did I win? Oh? I guess you haven't heard. No. Oh,
(21:58):
it's really exciting. Every single we choose one rewards card
member at random to call and say thank you for
shopping with us by giving you free flower delivery from
our Florida department, and you won thirty six long stem
red roses delivered anywhere in the United States. There is
a fee for international if you want to do that,
and you can send them anywhere. It's beautiful. It's actually
at ninety eight dollar value. So congratulations, Oh thank you,
(22:19):
thank you for shopping with us. All I would need
from you to get is just a little information. I'm sorry,
I'm really tongue tied here. I would just need to
get some information from you. Okay, you send out and
here's the thing. I can call you back because if
you don't know who you want to send them to
right now, I can send you an email and you
can fill out a form, but that form takes a
really long time to fill out, and after you do that,
you're going to be hit with a bunch of marketing
(22:39):
and spam emails and text and I don't think you
want that. They also don't want me to tell people this.
But I will call you back if you don't know
who you want to send them to, so you can
get the infot together and you don't have to deal
with all that unless you want to do that. No, No,
I'm definitely don't want the marketing stuff. But you do
it now. Most people don't, do you all you have
the information, now, who you'd like to send them to? Yeah? Great, okay,
So thirty six long stem red rod as it comes
(23:00):
with a card too. You can put whatever you want
on the card. Um. And we have cards for all occasions.
So if it's uh, you know, birthday or anything like that,
you can you can choose a card for that and
put whatever you want on it. So first this we'll
start with the name, then first and last name of
the person you want to send them to. Sure, um,
let's do Teresa, okay, okay, And and I guess the
(23:26):
note can just say, um, thank you for adding me
to your team, exclamation mark, Oh that's fun to work situation,
new jobs, something like that, um, kind of um. And
then and then I've never felt more like myself. Oh
that's even that's fun. That's great. Thank you for that information.
(23:50):
I also just need to tell you something real quick
before we move on. And I get the address and
get these delivered for you. Sure this isn't actually the
grocery store. This is Jewil from the Jewil Show. It's
a radio show. This is Christian, and this is Bennett,
and this is Alex and you're cheating. Hi. This is Kevin. Yeah,
your boyfriend Kevin is on the phone listening. At least
you would do a segment on the show called to
(24:10):
Catch a Cheater. If somebody thinks they're significant others cheating
on them. They asked us to try to catch them
by seeing who they send flowers to. And that's what
just happened. Okay, Alicia, are you I thought this was
like a one and duneon. That's what we agreed on.
You why to catch it? Her on Instagram? She comes
to the house when I'm at home. You're drinking wine.
Now you're sending her flowers? Like, what is going on?
Are you? Am I your boyfriend? Or is she your girlfriend?
(24:33):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry for lying to you. I the threestome.
I just have discovered I'm more into women than I
initially thought. I don't, I don't know, I know. I'm
so sorry. I'm so sorry for breaking your tracks. I
did hook up with Teresa, but I could never see
myself without you. Wait wait, wait, wait wait? Did you
(24:55):
actually you you walked up with her without me? Like
I wasn't there? You hooked up one on one? Yeah,
well it's sounds like you did, but it's not cheating
because it's with a girl. Girl, if you're naked and
you're rubbing into each other and it's cheat and you're lied,
how many times did you lie to me? At least five? Yeah?
How is he giving a little? No, you're right. I
(25:17):
think you're saying relationship. This is the only time. How
many times have you hooked up with her? She's counting.
I don't know what do you consider hooked up? Oh
my god, girl, Oh my god, I cannot believe you
just said that. Oh man, So it's been obviously been
a lot. Then you don't know about Kevin. I really
am into Theresa. I don't know what. I don't know
what to do. I'm not gonna be sitting in the corner. Why,
(25:41):
like when you guys are hooking up, Like, that's not
how I operate. I wanted up with both of them. Yeah,
you can be doing all the time friends. There's the
thing that you wanted to have. Yeah. The reason why
I see something because I didn't think she was into girls.
Like if I'm competing with this girl, yeah, how do
you think I'm gonna get turned on? Yeah? I'm not
doing it. So does that mean you're done? Then? If
you see this girl, talk to this girl, bring her
(26:03):
over the house. If you communicate with this girl, I
am gone. So you could either be with me or
be at heart and you better not ever lie to
me again about it. Well we're done, So you're actually
giving her a shot, I am, but her silence is
telling me a lot. Yeah, No, I have to think
about She also says she's still figuring it out. So okay,
(26:25):
I have an idea. I have an idea, Alicia. How
about you go figure it out without me because I
don't want to see you. I mean, he'll figure it out. Yeah,
I mean I would do that. I'm I guess, and
it's not fair on his end to stick around. She's
trying to figure herself out. This is so hard, Like
I don't want to lose you, but I just I'm
(26:46):
not sure what to do. Can we talk about this
like later today, like not with other people listening me?
It doesn't matter who's listening anymore. Date me only or
figure yourself out, And once you figure yourself out, I
might not be here for you. You're grown adults that
you wanted to be bisexual or lesbian or whatever. I
(27:06):
don't care. Just choose that but just don't put me
to the sideline. Don't I deserve better. I don't cheat,
I don't lie about it. That's my issue. Maybe I'll
be around, maybe I won't. I don't know what to say.
I mean, I want to say yes I want to
be with you, but I need to also I don't
want to lie to you again. And I alway don't
know what you want on You just told such a
crazy time. I just told you if you wanted to
(27:28):
view with me, you she's just say, yes, we've been
together for three years. You've been with this girl? What
three months? Like three years? You've thrown away three years,
three years of my time. I waited three years. Okay,
can you just give me till the end of the
weekend so I can be freed? You got an appointment? Yeah,
she said, I gotta go one more time to make sure.
(27:50):
I'll give you this Saturday. Oh, the Jewels Show on demand,
jebils dirty little Secret? Hello, Hey, what's up? This is
(28:11):
a jewel show? And you texted us at four one
o six one saying that you have a dirty little secret.
Don't say your name because you need to remain anonymous.
But how are you? And we want to know what
your dirty little secret is? Do you have time to
tell us whoever you are? Yeah, I'm okay, all right,
And would you like to tell your dirty little secret
right now? Or do we need to call you back? No,
this is fine, okay, perfect, hit us with it, We're ready, Okay.
(28:32):
In fifth grade, I kind of had my own business
going on, and you got your own business in fifth grade.
Some people will call you an entrepreneur. Yeah, okay, what
was your Yeah, I feel like, if it's a dirty
little secret, this business is not very up and up. No,
(28:53):
it was the opposite of that. I found my dad's
Dash four and basically Playboy and that kind of so
I figured I could get good money for this, so
I wouldn't you Yeah, like one fifth grade? Did you
say fifth grade? Did you say fifth grade? Yeah? My
(29:17):
son is in fifth grade and you and I have
four Okay, this is crazy. So when I was in
fifth grade, I didn't find any from my dad, but
there was some somebody. It's like, I'm probably an older
brother of somebody somewhere. There was on the playground. I
sold pages from that too to a couple of my friends.
God yeah, for like a dollar, and I kept the
ones on rivals. I would have had to take you
(29:39):
out competition. That's crazy. I didn't know that. That's definitely
a business that goes on in fifth grade. Then wow,
I wondered if my dad do because eventually the magazines disappeared. Seriously,
he probably wanted to look for him. One day. I
was like, yeah, where they go? Because he's hold on,
(30:01):
you're giving me away. Your dad's a long time. Yeah,
you had, you had a stream of revenue that kept
coming in. I just found someone on the playground, and
I kept most of it myself. Honestly, I got high
off my own supply. I did sell a couple of
pages to a few friends of mine. What do you
do for work now? A similar type of worker. I'm
(30:21):
a copywriter actually, so kind of well, thanks for telling
us secret. That's funny, all right, let's get another one.
Was your dirty little secret? So just to like mess
with my mom a little bit, I've been driving by
her house basically every day after work and taking her mail.
(30:41):
And I feel like old people are obsessed with the mail.
So she is freaking out that she hasn't gotten her mail.
So I think I've pushed it far enough without her
realizing it's me. So I'm going to tell her today
that it was me, just you know, joking with her.
But yeah, I've taken it for the last two weeks.
Oh my god, weeks through it Isn't that like you
(31:04):
can't like take people's me I think it's a federal
related you're related. I feel like it's kind of my
mail too. That's okay. You know that your mom will
turn you into the fens, hopefully not or all just
taking it and then she won't know what if what
if she got like an important piece of mail, like
(31:25):
it was urgent. I looked through it, there was nothing important.
Did you open it? Yeah? No, I didn't open it,
but I can tell it's nothing. That's it was like
from the irs. You're like, Mom, I've been taking up
your mail two weeks. Yeah. Do you guys mess with
each other a lot like that or something sometimes? But
(31:46):
I felt like she was, you know, a little sounds
like it sounds like she deserved it, and you're telling
her today that you've been doing it for two weeks. Yeah,
I mean, I'm going to tell her today. We'll see
how that comes. If she does call the on you
and you have to go to prison because even stealing mail,
you can use one of your phone calls for us. Okay,
perfect back, all right, thanks secret, thank you. The Jewel
(32:10):
Show on demand. I don't know who needs to hear this,
but don't serve people row fresh fries. Hold on one second.
Chante is fired up, obviously, so I don't know who
needs to hear this. It's the Jewel Show where we
say I don't know who needs to hear this, and
then we put a big butt on it and tell
the universe exactly what we think people should hear. And
(32:32):
Chante is fired up right now because Chante thinks that
people should not be serving raw French fries or raw anything. Chante,
it sounds like there's more to it than just saying
that go ahead. So I missed the drive through, and
you know, I miss the chicken place, and I'm waiting
on the French fries. So the fresh fries and chicken
finally come and I'm like, yeah, this is gonna be awesome.
(32:53):
And then so I bite into my French life. I
like to eat everything separately, so I don't I like
to try to mix the match I'm wanting separately. So
in there and are starting in the French es and
they're wrong. Ra Though, yeah, Rach, how does it even happen?
I don't even know. Did you complain? No idea? I'm like, yes,
(33:14):
I complained. I didn't go anywhere like that. The lady
was like, can I help you? I was right, yeah,
I need what do you mean you need some new words?
We forgot to give you some. I know these friends
fries are wrong and yeah, that's what happened. Well, I'm
sorry for your lost Jane. That's disgusting though. If they're soft,
(33:35):
doe eat, they don't even doe eat, Jane. This is
my hack right here to get fresh fries every time.
Ask for no salt on your fries and they'll have
to make you fresh fries. But that doesn't actually mean
that they're going to be fully done. So never mind, Jante,
thank you for you. I don't know who needs to
hear this, but call us up eight to eight three
four three one six one text in four one or
(33:55):
six one. It's I don't know who needs to hear this,
but where we say that and then say butt and
then tell everybody what we think they should hear. Alex,
what do you think the world needs to hear today.
I don't know who needs to hear this. But purple
is the best color. Okay, I would agree with that.
Bennet shook his head. You don't think so, girl. I
knew you were going to come from me. Red is
the best color because red is the most attractive color
(34:18):
to the eye. It pops out more than any other color. So,
and that's science. That's fast. I mean, that's cool. But
the best color, Jubil, Did you ask what my favorite
color was when you first started dating or did I
ask you first? Because I remember I said my purple?
What's yours? I think you said that, and then I
said mine's purple as well, kind of like you're lying, yeah,
And I was like, no, I promise, I'm not lying.
I'm not just telling you that to get you into bed.
(34:39):
I said that I'm wearing this red shirt to get
you into bed. My favorite color is purple. Yeah, calls
up y eight three four three one six one text
and four one o six one? What's your I don't
know who needs to hear this, butt Bennett, I don't
know who needs to hear this. But if you fly
Delta and you drink Starbucks every day, you can now
link your account so you could get like free sky miles.
(35:01):
So hey, go Starbucks from Starbucks. So every dollar you
spend out Starbucks, you get one sky mile towards Delta.
And get this if you sign up before December thirty.
First you get one hundred and fifty stars on your Starbucks,
which is like free lunch okay, and you get five
hundred sky miles. Yeah. I was about to say which
company are you working for? Back, I'm just like Pa
(35:29):
call us up eight at eight three three one six
one text in four one six one. I don't know
who needs to hear this? But where we say I
don't know who needs to hear this and then say
butt and tell people exactly what we think they should hear. Victoria,
I don't know who you need to hear this. But
Selena gomez Is new documentary is coming out of Number
fourth and I'm so excited for it, So everyone should
go watch it on Apple TV plus. What are you
most excited about? And Selena gomez Is new documentary? What
(35:50):
part of her life are you most excited to learn about?
It sends like that good. It goes back like it's
a multiple like she's been shooting it for like multiple years,
and it takes the viewers like back into see like
some of like the biggest times like in her life
and no, like going through like her mental health journey,
(36:11):
which I think is really important, and like she talks
about it a lot, and so we kind of see
like her go through it and her going through like
when she was doing like her lupus, dealing with that lupus.
I didn't know that. Holy crush. I think I want
to watch the documentary now that Yeah calls up at
eight three three one six one. Text in four one
six one it's I don't know who needs to hear this,
(36:32):
but it's producer brad Um. I got one. I don't
know who's to hear this, but you are not her
only fan. She's not going to hang out with you.
That's for all the people that are on only Fans,
hoping that they can actually meet the person that they
signed up to be a fan of. Maybe they'll fall
in love with one of those fans. Fans become favorites, Right,
(36:52):
do you have an Only Fans too where you discuss
skelt the sky miles and Starbucks in your underwear? If
you're gonna pack and subscribe winking my bio back. It
calls up eighty eight three four three one six one
text in four one oh six one. I don't know
who needs to hear this, but holy crap, scientists have
(37:12):
made a brain that can play video games. Yes, I
read this story and I've been freaking out about it
ever since I read it, which proves that machines are
almost about to take over the world. Scientists have literally
made a tiny brain. It's called a tiny brain. They
made it out of cells themselves, and it plays the
video game Pong, which was one of the first video
games ever made. They plugged it in and it plays
a video game. They made a little brain that plays
(37:34):
video games on its own. I thought pac Man was
one of the first video games ever made. Pong is
not as hard as pac Man, but I want you
to focus on They made a brain out of thinner
that plays and thinks for itself. Call us up eighty
eight three four three one six one. Text in four
one oh six one. What's your I don't know who
needs to hear this, but the Jewel Show on Demand
Host
Jubal Fresh
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