Why Nice Guys Really Don’t Get the Girl – Science, Spite & Jockstraps

We’re finally cracking the code on one of the oldest dating debates—why don’t nice guys finish first?

Jubal kicks it off with a brutally honest take: maybe nice guys are just patient creeps in disguise. Then the team dives into a new relationship study revealing that "niceness" is often seen as manipulative, boring, or too much. Nina opens up about outgrowing the chase and finally appreciating someone who’s all in. But even she has limits—don’t call mid-day unless you come with food.

This episode covers why women confuse their wants and needs, why vulnerability can backfire, and how the simple act of choosing the restaurant might be the ultimate turn-on. Plus, why you should never send a jockstrap video to someone’s mom.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's bs. Like nice guys we always have this arrogance
about us, this air of superiority. You know, we'll be like, Okay,
I didn't get the girl, but it's just because I'm
doing it the right way, you know, Like we're always bitter,
which if you think about it, that's total bs, because
like like we're trying to get the same things that
the dicks are getting. We're just willing to wait longer
to get it. You know, Like a nice guy is

(00:20):
just a that isn't in a hurry. That's all I am. Like,
you know, like if you think about it, like we
do the same. What does it dick say to get
a girl. He'll be like, hey, let me let me
compliment those breasts, let me lose his weight, let me
buy you a drink so I can get that.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
You know.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
It's like a creepy thing to say, nice guy. It's different,
but it's really the same.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
You know.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
It's like, hey, let me compliment your mind because I
love the way you think, and I love the way
you challenge my beliefs and my core.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
And and then you get nothing that conversation. It's true,
nice guys usually don't get the girl and nobody really
knows why, even the girl who wants to dbag as
rector trust in her bathroom because protein who doesn't understand
why she doesn't go for the nice guy. But now,

(01:08):
thanks to a leading relationship expert, we might finally have
the answers as to why nice guys normally don't get
the girl. They just released a study that they did
on the reasons women don't choose the nice guy, and
we'll go over it right now and answer one of
life's biggest questions. Here are the reasons that women don't
choose the nice guy. Number One, they're not intriguing enough. Yeah,

(01:29):
it says women like men who listen and respond to them,
but they become more intrigued when a man ignores them.
Is that the truth? You know?

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I feel like this is an age thing. I really
do because I think up until a few years ago,
I might have been all about no nice guys. But
now I'm very open to it. I'm very into being
obsessed with me, Like it's okay, obsessed with you. Yeah,
Like if you're a nice guy that's obsessed with me,
I'm into it. Before I used to be like ignore me,
Ooh this is fun. This is a chase. I'm gonna
earn it. You know what that did made me insane?

(02:00):
It made me absolutely insane. So all this right now
is super triggering because I do. Don't you think so?
Maybe or nobody else can. I think you.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Recently dated a Jim bro who was in a band,
so I'm not sure you know yourself.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
I knew that was temporary, but you went for the
guy that you knew was temporary because he was intriguing.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, okay, but then he got super annoying when he
decided to not respond to my dirty text.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
He took it too far. A new study that a
Relationship Exspread has done on the reasons why women don't
choose the nice guy says they see niceness as inappropriate
and manipulative.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
It's hard to trust it right.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Women see niceness as men just trying to obtain favor,
favors are they're eager to please or desperate?

Speaker 4 (02:51):
Well, I feel like it's half time when you're at
the bar. If someone gets you a drink, they expect
something after and I'm like, homie, it was just a drink.
Like next time, I'll buy my own, Like don't I
don't wanna like I want to go home with my friends.
I'm not gonna go home with you. It was almost
like they expect it.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
I just wonder if you wonder if it's gonna stay
right if you're nice, Like, are you going to keep
being this way? Or is this part of that whole
three month window when you're pretending to be somebody that
you're not.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Are you just trying to do it to get something
and then once you get it, you're out.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah. One of my favorite things on Instagram as soon
as you turn a nice guy down the dms.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
They get so mad, like there is a whole.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Account that's dedicated to them, going, you're ugly anyway, you're stupid.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
I would never go for you. Well, you just tried
for like six months. Yeah, so that doesn't make much sense.
There's another reason why they say women don't choose the
nice guy. They're confusing their needs and their wants. It says,
at the beginning of a relationship, the openness and generosity
of a nice guy can feel needy, suffocating, and like
they're trying too hard. I have heard that a lot,

(03:51):
like you try too hard and things like that, and
it's like, no, I just dig you and I'm not
scared to say it, right, but you do get penalized
for that.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
Well, I think the needy thing is the thing that's
like they are trying to be nice and I do
like it, But Homie, we gotta find a schedule because like,
if you're going to call me in the middle of
the day just because you want to talk to me,
sounds very sweet. But I'm not like, no, I like that,
you do?

Speaker 3 (04:11):
I do? I always like that. No, but I do. Now.
Isn't that a little bit on you though, because like
he's just sharing how he feels. You don't have to
respond have the answer what It also doesn't have to
be a bad thing if he likes you. Yeah, But
also I've been in that same situation, Like as a guy,

(04:33):
I've dated people where I'm like, come on, calm down,
have you met me? I'm not that great. It's much
nicer to be with somebody who likes you.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Trust me.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
I can tell you from experience, a lot of experience.
It is really cool. Just like, have a relationship with
someone who's into you and then you don't have to
question it.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
You know how much time you spend an energy wondering
do they like me? Do they not?

Speaker 3 (04:58):
What does this mean?

Speaker 2 (05:00):
They're calling you in the middle of the day. You
don't have to have a question that you know they do.
Oh it's so comforting. Well, just give me the good
morning text and I'm like, exactly, if you don't like it,
you don't like him.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Here's another reason that they say women will not choose
the nice guy is the nice guy comes off comes
off as vulnerable and less dominant all the bros out there,
with all the gimbers out there, like yeop, see.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Beta do it?

Speaker 3 (05:27):
Says women say a guy comes off as this when
they're paying attention to them and being respectful. Sadly, these
two traits don't bode well with a lot of women,
even though they secretly want that. But once they get
a guy who's vulnerable and not that dominant, they're like beta.
Even in their own heads.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
There's only one tweak you need to that be that
and then turn around and be like, come on, I'm
taking you. We're gonna go get French fries, like make
the decision where are we eating? Like be dominant in
those moments like that's it.

Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah. I think that's probably the smallest thing that men
can do. That will really turning on. Yeah, make a
decision about food.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Or a date or anything.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
What are we doing today?

Speaker 2 (06:04):
Take me somewhere.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
The only problem with that is as a guy is
you're like, you make a decision, You're like, Okay, cool,
olive garden. No, I don't want breadsticks. Okay, Red Robin Nope,
not in the mood for that either. Okay, where do
you want to go? I wish you would make a decision.
I've just made four fun I wish you would like food.